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Imperial-samaB: It's still the same day. Megumin would be useless until the next, remember?


Chapter 03: A Revelation for this Masochist Crusader!


"O-Oi. Don't get the wrong idea, Kazuma. It's not that I was horny or anything." Aqua nodded with almost complete confidence, the illusion evident by her flushed face and trembling limbs. "Y-You're just paying me back for last night."

"I already paid you back earlier when we were bathing under that waterfall." Kazuma referred to when he'd licked a girl's pussy for the first time ever, relishing in the moans Aqua gave him as she clutched at the head between her naked thighs. Of course, the moans she was currently making were just as sweet. "If anything, you definitely didn't stop me from this to you again, did you?"

"Mmm~" Aqua fidgeted as he blew hot breaths against her nether regions, her entire body spasming from the sensation as she was laid flat on her back. "Sh-Shut up..."

Kazuma chuckled as he licked her again, his tongue sliding over her smooth slit easily as he enjoyed the tangy taste he received.

Say whatever you wanted about the bitchy goddess, her body itself was truly one of the divine class. The fact that it was technically Kazuma's first was summarily ignored.

Getting bolder, Kazuma grabbed her hips and pushed his tongue deeper into Aqua, immediately earning a stifled moan from her as it wormed around in her wet insides.

'Is this why all those guys like fucking around with humans?' Aqua deliriously thought of her fellow deities who would sneak off to get some booty calls with the mortals. 'How many years did I waste not getting some?! I'll have to be careful so that Kazuma is very clear about his position below me so that I'm the one in charge of all... this!'

Yeah, good luck on that.

Kazuma switched between thrusting his tongue inside or wiggling it side to side, constantly spicing it up and quickly reducing Aqua to a wriggling mess as the hand clasped over her face failed to hide her ecstatic expression.

"W-Wait! Stop a b-b-bit~!" Aqua's inner walls clenched fruitlessly around his tongue, with her legs instinctively wrapping around Kazuma's head in a clear denial of her own words as her hips gyrated against his face. "I-It's... It's...!"

Aqua trailed off as she climaxed again, nectar squirting onto Kazuma's thrusting tongue as her body bucked and spasmed until she fell limp onto the ground. In her elated euphoria, Aqua barely noted Kazuma's eyes hotly raking over her boneless body as he shoved down his pants to reveal his throbbing cock and spread her legs wider while letting his hot shaft grind against her entrance. "Go on, Kazuma... Fuck me, already...!"

"Well, don't mind if I do...!" Gripping her hips, Kazuma didn't waste a second before he thrust his thick manhood to the hilt, earning a grunting moan from the goddess beneath him as he struggled not to cum instantly.

Before that moment, Kazuma had honestly believed that there wouldn't have been much difference between Aqua's mouth and her vagina sans the presence of teeth.

Now, Kazuma Satou knew of his folly.

It was like his entire body had gone cold and the only source of warmth was around his crotch, threatening to sear it off as he nearly collapsed on Aqua when both her insides and legs nearly crushed him tight.

If he experienced a second death at that moment, Kazuma would've been perfectly okay with it.

'He's splitting me~!' Aqua's mind screamed as she clenched her teeth, feeling the veined member within her pulsing with a heartbeat foreign to her body.

Gently, slowly, Kazuma pulled out, dragging a groan out from the both of them before he shoved his cock back in, impossibly going in deeper than before. Instinctual in his carnal hunger, Kazuma slowly increased his pace and lost himself in the pleasure, only focusing on the wet cavern gripping at him.

Aqua was no different, little mewls and cries escaping her as she hugged Kazuma for dear life, completely defenseless against the assault of sensations that the Logia's relentless thrusts gave her, splitting her between unbearable satisfaction and addictive agony.

"Ah~! Yes~! Stop~! Harder~!"

To Kazuma's ears, Aqua's oxymoronic cries were like background music to him as he felt like he was burning from the inside. He would soon- "I'm going to cum soon!"

"I-Inside~! D-Don't worry about i-it~!" Aqua's legs tightened further against him, his hips barely slowing down. "N-No such things as c-contraceptives exist y-yet~! J-Just intent on having a b-baby or not is enough for you s-summoned h-heroes. M-Magical p-precaution against i-impregnation or S-STDs~!"

'Well... that's convenient.' Kazuma groaned as he thrusted a final time and clutched Aqua tightly, emptying weeks worth of virginal and magically infertile cum into her divine vessel.

Feeling the molten semen filling her small cavity triggered another powerful orgasm from Aqua as she finally fainted-

-and woke up in her and Kazuma's bed in their room.

For a moment, Aqua blinked as she noted the difference of her surroundings, her thighs slick with juices as she sat alone in the bed. Finally realizing that she was awake and not being pounded into sweet oblivion by her human like he'd done the previous day, Aqua snapped.

"KAZUMA, WHY AREN'T YOU IN BED WITH ME RIGHT NOW?!"


Kazuma Satou blinked awake inside a barn, staring up at the unfamiliar roof. 'I don't know this roof...'

Rubbing his eyes to get rid of the headache banging at his skull, Kazuma sat up only suddenly notice the naked arm around his waist.

A naked, masculine arm.

Slowly and shakily, Kazuma turned to the side to see the one at his side before he felt his soul rip itself apart at the sight of a fully naked Dust with morning wood proudly at attention.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The only silver lining at that moment was that Kazuma was still fully clothed.

So nothing (thankfully) happened.


The Rookie Killer.

The Beginners' Bane.

That had been one of the worst monsters that a beginner adventurer could have ever faced, known for it's immense power and cruel tendencies of shadowing weaker monsters just for the sake of attacking unsuspecting adventurers.

So the fact that the Rookie Killer got killed in an extremely flashy manner warranted an instant party at the Adventurers' Guild. A party which got wilder when Kazuma and Aqua arrived and it was revealed that the airbender had been the one responsible for it's demise after he had updated his Adventurer Card.


"I'm not going to have to pay for the damage, right?" Kazuma worriedly inquired of Luna, thumbing back at the damaged gate.

"Not in the slightest." Luna beamed at the Slayer of the Rookie Killer. "If anything, along with the promised reward for the goblin extermination quest, the Guildmaster has awarded you 6,000,000 Eris for your feat. According to him, and we staff members agree, "Is there anything more karmic than the Rookie Killer being slayed by our newest rookie?"."

Kazuma blinked in shock at the huge pouch of coins being pushed into his hands, making Luna correctly guess that he'd never made that much money in one go.

"With that said, thank you for your actions, Kazuma-sama." Luna bowed forward, causing Kazuma to step back in surprise and shock. Even so, Luna kept her head low. "The Rookie Killer has claimed the lives of many unfortunate souls who had been unable to escape it's hunt. With it's death, you've done a great service to Axel as a whole. Then again, I suppose we should have expected much from an Adventurer who our Guildmaster demanded a personal interview from the moment he heard your name."

Luna finally raised her head to look at the boy- No, young man before her. She distantly remembered him casually stating on his first day that he had come here from afar to slay the Demon King. Many new Adventurers had stated similar, but only three people so far had made actual headway.

Kaito Minazuki, Adventurer Guildmaster of Axel.

Kyouya Mitsurugi, Sword Master of the Demonic All-Cutting Sword: Gram.

Kazuma Satou, Slayer of the Rookie Killer.

Luna blinked at that lineup. 'Come to think of it, their names all sound strangely similar. Are they all from the same homeland?'


"You've got to be kidding me." Kazuma declared as he stared at Aqua doing... 'something' with her aquakinetic powers and a pair of fans. The poor Adventurers apparently didn't recognize the party trick for what it was. "This guys think that an enkai gei is something to marvel at..."

Aqua smiled as she finally noticed Kazuma's presence. "What do you think of my new Skill, Kazuma? Isn't it befitting of a water goddess like myself?

"..." Kazuma said nothing, only staring at the goddess with empty eyes.

"...hey, Kazuma, you should say something, you know!" Aqua did her {Nature's Beauty} again. "Praise my newly acquired Skill like everyone else did!"

"No."


"Hey, Megumin, you can learn Skills with the points you've earned and saved up, right?" Kazuma said as he sat next to the girl who was eating on his dime again. "How would one go about it?"

"First, you just need to see the Skill in action." Megumin cut a piece of meat into bite size and happily chomped on it. "Then the entry for it will appear on your card. As long as your Class allows it and you have the necessary amount of points, you'll be able to learn any Skill you get. Although as an Adventurer, I guess the first requirement doesn't really bother you."

Kazuma blinked. "Wait. Does that mean that I could theoretically use {Explosion} too?"

"Exactly!" Megumin grabbed him close. "To wield {Explosion} is to wield the spark of power itself! The concept of violence, passion, aggression and chaos all rolled into a single purchasable Skill! Is there anything that even dares to challenge it as the ultimate Skill?! No, there is not! The Way of Explosions will welcome you into it's fold, Kazuma!"

'Too close.' Leaning back from the girl who had abandoned her lunch to be now almost straddling him, Kazuma placed his hand over Megumin's face and shoved her back. "Calm down, Explosion Loli!"

"E-Excuse me."

Turning in sync, Kazuma and Megumin glared at the interrupter, only to awkwardly gawk. It was a beautiful blue-eyed woman with her long blonde hair tied into a ponytail. From her attire, it seemed that she was some sort of knight.

She was also gorgeous. Like if Kazuma had to put up classic school categories, Megumin would be the 'cute but eccentric geek', Aqua would be 'hot but dumb cheerleader' and the blonde before him would flat out land the spot of 'sexy and cool senpai'.

"I've been looking for you for a while now." The knight approached Kazuma, her breath heavy. "Ever since I saw what you were doing to this girl out there on the field while she was unable to defend herself, I knew I couldn't- No, I wouldn't let you get away."

'Oh shit.' Kazuma turned to face her with a false smile while his hand clenched behind him and started to spiral compressed air around it, ready to blast her away and make a run for it. It looked like teasing Megumin like that outdoors may have been a bit too reckless. "Oh, really? Well, at least grant me the name of whom I'm having the pleasure to speak with."

"My name is Darkness." The woman introduced herself, her breathing getting heavier as a small flush came to her cheeks. "My calling is that of a Crusader. Please let... Please let me... j-j-j-j- your party!"

"...what?" Kazuma's jaw and clenched hand dropped in simultaneous disbelief. Then the hand got grabbed in an unbelievably strong grip.

"Please!"

"Wait, hold up!" Kazuma's hand burst into air and reformed free of Darkness's grip. "My Party may look nice on paper but we still have problems, you know!"

Kazuma pointed at Megumin who had resumed her meal. "This one here can only use her powerful spell once a day and becomes a total deadweight immediately after."

"I can carry her for you!"

Kazuma pointed at Aqua who was doing that... 'thing' again. "That one there is a capable Archpriest but is also a selfish alcoholic with a horrible sense of priorities and spending habits!"

"I have money and am very stubborn!"

Kazuma pointed at himself, now desperate. "I'm of the lowest class and also an unredeemable pervert! Megumin? I didn't let her fully join until I all but assaulted her in that field. Aqua? I grope her breasts at least four times a day and even took her virginity just yesterday. Do you really want to join a Party with me as your undeniable boss?! Do you- Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"Yes!" Darkness had grabbed on to Kazuma's arm now, his bones creaking ominously until he dispersed the limb to escape her. "As a knight, I cannot allow such horrors to keep befalling two innocent girls! If you wish, you should use me instead! Exhaust all of your depraved desires unto me instead so that those two girls never your cruelty again!"

Kazuma leaned back in horror, unable to handle the excessive masochist before him. 'It's hopeless. It's another one like Aqua and Megumin. Someone who's somehow strong but crazy. Am I giving off some kind of pheromone to attract them?' "I hereby reject you from my Party, Darkness. Get lost."

Kazuma resolutely turned away. 'There. I couldn't be more blunt. No mixed message or- Why the fuck are you blushing and hugging yourself like that?!'

"Such a brutal rebuttal!" Darkness grabbed his hands again. "I want you even more now!"

Kazuma flinched back and whimpered. "I need an adult."

Darkness leaned forward until her forehead was pressed against his. "I am an adult!"

"Down, girl." A gloved hand chopped down on Darkness's head. "Bad Darkness. You can't be so pushy."

Marveling at the sight of Darkness actually pulling away and coughing in embarrassment, Kazuma turned to regard the miracle worker.

It was a beautiful girl around his age with short silver hair with an indigo tint, with the scar on her right cheek doing very little to diminish her attractiveness. Her outfit was rather revealing, consisting of a light blue scarf, a short green cape which went down to her elbows, a pair of black elbow-length gloves with normal brown gloves layered over them, short blue jean-shorts that hugged her perky butt nicely, white knee-high socks with a blue trimming, brown boots, and a bikini-like grey top.

She may have been lacking in the chest department like Megumin was, but Kazuma didn't care.

He'd tap those two regardless.

"Um, and you are?"

"I'm Chris. A Thief, as you can see." The silverette thumbed at the bashful knight beside her. "This girl is my friend, I guess?"

'Ah, thank goodness.' Kazuma sighed in relief. 'This one seems like a relatively normal person.' "I'm Kazuma Satou."

"Oh, I know. Every Adventurer of this guild knows your name since yesterday, Slayer of the Rookie Killer. By the way, I overheard you earlier. Something about needing new Skills, right? How about you learn some from me?"

"Huh?" Kazuma blinked in surprise. "What kind?"

"I'm glad you asked." Chris seemed pleased as she took a seat between Kazuma and Darkness. "They're handy, for starters. You can detect and disarm traps, you can set an ambush, you can steal an item, etc.. There are even a bunch of great passive abilities. All cheap in points and only for the cost of a free drink from you."

"Deal!" Deal? This was a Steal! "Excuse me! One ice-cold drink for this hot thief lady beside me!"


The group, consisting of the silver-haired Thief, the blonde Crusader, and the brown-haired Adventurer all stood behind the adventurer's guild, the hot afternoon sun hitting them hard.

"So, there are all sorts of Thief Skills, such as {Enemy Detection}, {Trap Detection}, {Lurk} and the like." Chris started off. "Which is why we'll start with one of my favorites. Darkness, look over there!"

Darkness immediately followed the direction of her friend's pointed finger, leaving her open for the loud spank against her butt. "Eeek?!"

"[Lurk.]"

Immediately, Chris just seemed to... fade out of view, swiftly evading an embarrassed Darkness's swings. Soon after, she reappeared behind Kazuma and peeked over his shoulder while pressing herself against his back.

"Hahahaha!" Chris laughed as she leaned onto him and lightly blew on his ear, making the Logia harden in his pants. "Wasn't that funny? {Lurk} allows you to evade detection. It's not quite as strong as the {Invisibility} Skill from the Assassin class, but while that one fully deceives the sense of sight, {Lurk} tampers with all five senses partway. And another one you can learn is {Steal}. It snags a single item from the target. Doesn't matter if it's a blade they're clutching, or a purse buried deep in their pockets."

Chris stepped forward until she was facing Kazuma again, raising her hand forward. "Prepare yourself!"

"Right!" Kazuma readied himself. "I'm ready, Chris-sempai!"

"[Steal!]"

Immediately, light shined forth from the inside of Chris's clenched hand as space was warped. When the light faded away a second later, she opened it to reveal a coin pouch.

"Hey! My coin pouch!" Kazuma exclaimed in surprise while patting his now empty pocket. 'What a crazy Skill. Good thing I hide the majority of all my earned cash elsewhere.'

"As you can see, you can take possession of a single 'whole' item from your target. That's how I got your pouch with all your coins instead of just empty leather." Chris jingled the pouch for effect before approaching him. However, a mischievous thought suddenly occurred to the Thief, prompting her to stop and smirk. "Hey, want to have a showdown? Learn this Thief Skill yourself, then steal your pouch back."

"Hey, isn't that a little overboard?" Darkness called from behind Chris. "He's an amateur compared to you."

"He's still an adventurer, isn't he?" Chris didn't back down in the slightest. "Dangerous situations are an occupational hazard, after all."

'A high tuition fee, huh?' Kazuma mused to himself. 'Still, Chris has totally gotten me hooked up! How am I supposed to back down from such a blood pumping event?!' "Sure!"

"Then it's settled." Chris placed her fists against her hips, an approving look in her eyes. "Use your Adventurer Card and acquire the Skills. They should be there now."

Kazuma immediately pulled it out to check.

[Name: Kazuma Satou]

[Class: Adventurer]

[Title: Japanese Otherworlder, Logia Devil of Air, Party Boss, Slayer of the Rookie Killer]

[Alignment: Chaotic Neutral]

[STR: 50]

[VIT: 90]

[AGI: 45]

[INT: 50]

[WIS: 40]

[LUK: 410]

[NRG: EX]

[MNY: 7,725,000 Eris]

[SP: 92]

[Skill: Nature's Beauty (0)]

[Skill: Lurk (0)]

[Skill: Steal (0)]

[Spell: God Blow (0)]

[Spell: Explosion (0)]

[Spell: God Requiem (0)]

"Wow. There's lots of new stuff in here..." Kazuma's eyes narrowed at an unfamiliar Skill. "What's {Nature's Beauty}?"

"Ah." Darkness helpfully answered. "That's your Archpriest's Skill. The one she was using with her fans."

"DELETED!" Kazuma swiped his finger against it furiously. "I don't want that trash in my Card!"

With that Skill satisfyingly gone, he went about to to acquire the rest.

The moment he did so, Kazuma felt the change instantly. It was like his very mind, soul and body had been rewritten. A second ago, Kazuma hadn't possessed the slightest idea of how to perform most of his Skills. Now, it was like he'd always been capable of doing so.

[Name: Kazuma Satou]

[Class: Adventurer]

[Title: Japanese Otherworlder, Logia Devil of Air, Party Boss, Slayer of the Rookie Killer]

[Alignment: Chaotic Neutral]

[STR: 50]

[VIT: 90]

[AGI: 45]

[INT: 50]

[WIS: 40]

[LUK: 410]

[NRG: EX]

[MNY: 7,725,000 Eris]

[SP: 0]

[Skill: Lurk (22)]

[Skill: Steal (51]

[Spell: God Blow (9)]

[Spell: Explosion (8)]

[Spell: God Requiem (2)]

"Done!" Kazuma thrust out his hand in triumph. "Whatever I steal from you, don't cry about it!"

"Full marks if you net this magic dagger." Chris patted the blade hanging off her hip. "It's a fine item that's worth at least 400,000 Eris."

"For real?!"

"Don't get cocky." Chris's smirk widened as she suddenly grabbed a stone from the ground and crushed it into smaller pieces in her grip. When she opened her hand to Kazuma, the stone was now nothing more than many small pebbles. "Here's some compensation prizes to test your luck!"

"Oi! That's dirty!" Kazuma gritted his teeth. 'It's times like this I'm actually reminded of home. This is basically a RPG version of a good old swindler scheme! To get tricked is to accept all the blame without complaining!'

"Don't fail me, my reliable luck!" Kazuma declared as he thrusted out his hand.

"[Steal!]"

Light blazed as space warped, signifying Kazuma's success in taking away a piece of the Thief's possessions. "Alright! Looks like it worked!"

Still, it was neither his coin pouch nor Chris's dagger he'd expected. In fact, it was rather soft in texture and... warm?

Gasping suddenly, Chris dropped the stones in her hands, her face reddening as she gingerly shifted her thighs against each other.

*hallelujah*

"What's this?" Kazuma raised his hands up to his face to observe, only to gasp as the cloudy heavens themselves parted to cast a ray of sunshine over the treasure in his hands.

*hallelujah*

It couldn't be...

*hallelujah*

To think that his luck was this powerful...

*hallelujah*

It truly, truly, truly hadn't failed him in the slightest...

*hallelujaaaaaah*

"LUK is the greatest stat in the world!" Kazuma declared as he thrusted the blue-trimmed white panties in his hand up to the sky. "And the proof is literally in my hands!"

"NOOOO!" Chris shrieked in mortification, her hand reflexively blocking her crotch despite wearing a pair of shorts instead of a skirt. "G-Give me back my panties!"

"Wh-What savagery!" Darkness gasped, utterly stunned at the events that had just occurred before her. "As expected, my eyes didn't lead me astray!"

Kazuma stilled before giving Chris a grin that would've made the Demon King proud. "You want these back?"

"Give them back." Despite her demand, Chris was unable to stop herself from taking a wary step back.

"Sure. No problem. I won't even ask for the pouch back." Kazuma's inner sadist took the front seat as he approached Chris. "Put them on. Right here, right now."

This time, both Darkness and Chris gasped as one.

Kazuma raised up the underwear before Chris, clutched tight so that she couldn't just grab it. "Turn around, pull down your shorts and put them on. Right before me."

Shivering in place, Chris opened her mouth to speak. "H-Hey, now..."

"It's an occupational hazard, remember?" Kazuma threw her own words back at her. "I really hope you're not the kind of Adventurer who can't follow up on her loss..."

Gulping, Chris slowly unbuckled her belt and let the shorts slip down to her ankles. Stepping out of them, Chris shakily held out her hand for her panties. Once he gave them back, Kazuma made a 'turn about' motion with his fingers, making the silverette do so and finally bend over as she exposed her bare ass to him.

Crouching down to observe better, Kazuma admired the curve of her pale skin, the tiny tuft of hair above her pussy and how the slow putting on the Thief's panties did nothing to alleviate the raging boner in his pants.

Once she was done, Chris finally faced him again, her entire face crimson. "A-Are you satisfied?"

Despite everything that had just happened, Kazuma's satisfied smile could have matched a saint's. "Not in the slightest."


When the learning of skills debacle was over, the group of Kazuma, Chris, and Darkness returned to the tavern to find Aqua and Megumin waiting for their leader.

"Kazuma, where've you been?" Aqua asked, giving a suspicious frown at Chris before shrugging. "And what's with them?"

Aqua gestured at the girls behind Kazuma, with Darkness appearing like she'd just been incredibly turned on while Chris had been quietly sniffing.

Before Kazuma could reply, Darkness did so for him with great relish. "She's just depressed because when she taught Kazuma-sama ("'Kazuma-sama'?" all three members of {Phantasmal} questioned.) some Thief Skills, he used one to rob her of her panties and then utterly humiliated her by making her put them on before him."

"And when that was over with," Chris sniffed as she took over. "Kazuma said that he would've even preferred to make me blow him in order to make his boner calm down, but was only discouraged when Darkness offered herself in my place."

"Whoa, hold on! Hold on!" Kazuma shrieked in panic. "I mean it's all true but just shut up for a bit!"

Aqua and Megumin didn't look surprised by the story that Darkness and Chris told them. Their eyes had that 'oh, that's so like Kazuma' look like he was the constant scumbag of the group.

Seeing those dead eyes towards them made Chris lose her sullen expression and shoot Kazuma a devious smile.

"I'm gonna get you back for this." Kazuma promised.


[Name: Darkness]

[Class: Crusader]

[Title: None]

[Alignment: Lawful Good]

[STR: 250]

[VIT: 290]

[AGI: 15]

[INT: 50]

[WIS: 10]

[LUK: 10]

[NRG: 12]

[MNY: 58,720 Eris]

[SP: 0]

[Skill: Two-Handed Sword (1)]

[Skill: Physical Resistance (71)]

[Skill: Magic Resistance (70)]

[Skill: Decoy (99)]

"Hey, this lady's a Crusader!" Megumin exclaimed after looking at Darkness's Adventurer Card. "Why did you turn her away?"

"Morality issues." Kazuma deadpanned. Her masochistic personality drew Kazuma's sadistic tendencies out to the open. While he was presently disturbed, Kazuma knew the power of humans to adapt and was very unwilling to trust himself around a willing masochist.

Aqua and Megumin were different in the sense that regardless of how far he went with them, they knew where to draw the line and say 'no'.

Darkness wouldn't draw any line. She'd happily destroy her limits all for the sake of satisfying her masochist desires.

Up till now, Kazuma mostly used manipulation and blackmail to satisfy his perversion, but he knew he'd turn out for the worse if he had a very, very, very willing partner.

That's why he wanted this blonde knight out of his life, promptly.

He'd have to go for the serious route, then, if only for the shock factor.

"Darkness, there's something you need to be aware of." Kazuma suddenly declared, stunning the women with him when he sounded like an Adventurer with authority instead of a smug pervert. "The thing is... Aqua and I may not look like much when you consider our personalities, but we seriously intend to defeat the Demon King."

Megumin, Darkness and Chris made varying reactions of surprise to that statement.

"Our adventure is bound to become more and more dangerous with our progress. Darkness, you're a really attractive knight with a... noble personality. If someone like you got captured by the Demon King or his forces, it'd be really bad news. A horrible demise is practically guaranteed."

"Yes, that's exactly right." Darkness declared with a sure smile, her words not matching her demeanor. "Since old times, suffering an erotic fate at the hands of the Demon King has always been the expected end of all noble female knights. That alone inspires me and makes it worthwhile to follow you!"

*BAM!*

Kazuma's forehead collided with the table.

"Huh? What is it?" Darkness didn't seem to have found anything wrong with her desires. "Did I say something strange?"

'This one is hopeless.' Kazuma turned to Megumin. "Megumin, our opponent is the Demon King. The strongest enemy in the world is our target. I'm just stating this now and giving you an out if you want-"

Kazuma couldn't even finish his sentence before Megumin jumped onto the bench.

"My name is Megumin! The top Crimson Demon master of explosion magic!" Megumin stomped her feet onto the table, carefully dodging the drinks and her plate of food as the girl flipped her cloak hard and dramatically tilted her hat while her red eyes glowed crimson. "If the Demon King fancies himself to be the strongest enemy, it's utter insanity for the most powerful Archwizard to flee from him! Insanity, I say!"

*BAM!*

Smashing his head into the table again, Kazuma sighed in depression. 'I forgot... The only thing worse than a chuunibyou is a chuunibyou with superpowers... They're even more motivated now...'

"Hey, Hey, Kazuma…" Aqua tugged on Kazuma's sleeve and leaned in to whisper into his ear. "I've kinda gotten a bit scared when you put it like that. Is there an easier way to take on the Demon King?"

*BAM!*

Kazuma headbutted the table for the third time. "...you should be the most fired up of them all, Goddess Aqua. How else are you going to get home, you moron?"

"Emergency Quest! Emergency Quest!" Luna's voice boomed over the speakers in the guild. "All adventurers, please gather at the front gate at once!"

"Eh?" Kazuma muttered, standing up. "What's going on?"

"I repeat; all adventurers gather at the front gate at once!"

"Oi, Chris, what's going on?" Kazuma asked, only for the girl to grab his arm and drag him out the building, the others on their heels.

Throughout Axel, the villagers were panicking, rushing about like headless chickens and locking themselves up inside.

"They're coming!"

"It can't be! Nobody told me it was today!"

"Take the children inside and keep them there!"

Kazuma frowned at the sight of the panicking villagers, before being slapped in the back by Dust and Keith as they passed him.

"You ready for this, Kazuma?"

"Better get psyched up!"

"What is it?" Kazuma gasped as they all finally reached the gates. "What's coming?!"

Then, he saw it. Far in the distance, a carpet of green, brighter than the dark grass, rolling over the hill like a wave.

"It looks like it's going to be a big one!" Aqua exclaimed after dropping a large basket beside her for some reason. "I hope I catch some top grade cabbages!"

"...huh?" Kazuma's neck cricked as his gaze narrowed in on the approaching 'swarm'. "You... You can't be serious..."

"Looks like it'll be rough this year..." Mohawk Guy muttered.

"A storm... is coming." Megumin dramatically declared, her sole visible eye glowing brightly.

"""""""It's Harvest time!"""""""

"Bring out the mayonnaise!" Aqua cheered.


COMPULSORY QUEST!

Harvest Cabbages from the migratory batch Flying into Axel!


In this world, cabbages are capable of self-motion and flight.

Whenever they reached optimal flavor and harvest season approached, they refused to sit back and let themselves be feasted upon.

With the mentality of migrating wildebeests, they would stampede through the lands and seas, whether wild or inhabited, forever moving forward with the intention of rebelling against their fate of being nothing more than sustenance for others.

However, humans have never looked at a viable food source and ignored it, regardless of the blatant breakage of the rules of botany, biology and physics the cabbages caused just by existing.

Whenever it was time to harvest, many capable of doing so would catch as many cabbages as possible and make them into delicious meals.

Compared to the Giant Toads, cabbages were much simpler and preferable to deal with.

Giant Toads would undoubtedly eat anyone who failed to kill them.

Cabbages would simply smash past any human in the way, never going beyond than the necessary force to break bones.

"Everyone!" Luna yelled from the gate to the city, where she and the guild staff were waiting with prepared cages. "The annual cabbage harvesting season has arrived! This year's cabbages are of fine quality, and will each go for 10,000 Eris when harvested! Please capture as many as you can!"

"...Aqua."

"Yes, Kazuma?" Aqua answered Kazuma as she wrestled a struggling cabbage into her basket and locked it in.

"The creator deity of this world..." Kazuma hissed deeply. "What were they on when they made this world and where can I get some?"

"Drugs are bad for you, Kazuma!" Aqua immediately rebuked. "Besides, Tiamat-sama's stuff would evaporate the flesh off your bones and send your mind careening through 300 multiversal hells!"

"It'd be better than dealing with this shit!" Kazuma roared as he grabbed at his hair.

"This is a perfect opportunity." Darkness approached Kazuma's side as she drew her sword. "See my ability as a Crusader with your own eyes."

"Oh. Go for it, then." Kazuma observed Darkness as she charged forward. 'Considering her high stats, her very swings should be enough to cause shockwaves- Wait, huh?'

Kazuma's eye twitched as Darkness swung her sword many times against the cabbages... and kept failing to hit a single one.

It wasn't that she was being unenthusiastic about it.

It was more like reality itself couldn't comprehend Darkness succeeding in landing a single cut on her targets for some reason.

'Why?' Kazuma clapped his hand against his face in despair, the cabbages failing to harm him as his body kept dispersing with every one that tried to attack him. 'Why is she so... so...'

Even when Darkness quit attacking to guard some of the fallen adventurers who had been unable to protect themselves, Kazuma couldn't do more than watch silently.

Meanwhile, Darkness was having the time of her life as she stood in front of her fellow adventurers, arm spread as the cabbages barraged her relentlessly, slamming into her so hard that pieces of her armor got knocked off, and her black bodysuit was in tatters, barely preserving her modesty. However, judging by the orgasmic look on her face, which intensified every time another vegetable made impact, Kazuma rightly suspected modesty was the furthest thing from her mind.

"I can't believe she's going such lengths to protect them!" A random mage gushed.

"As a fellow knight, I must learn from her example." A male knight nodded in agreement.

'No! You guys aren't seeing what I'm seeing!' Kazuma mentally protested. 'Is it that you guys can't recognize a masochist when... you... Wait a minute.'

"None can stand in opposition of my lethal explosion magic." Megumin clutched her staff dramatically, with her eye glowing.

"What do you think you're doing, you damn loli?!"

"Could I possibly resist the urge to unleash explosion magic when faced with such a massive enemy army?" Megumin's tone took a lewd tone as she started to fondle her staff lewdly. "No, I can't!"

"Yes, you can!" Kazuma roared at the witch. "In fact, I order you to! Are you aiming to hit Darkness, too?!"

"Oh, blackness shrouded in light... Frenzied blaze clad in night..."

Familiar dark energy gathered into the orb in Megumin's staff as a burning glyph manifested underneath her.

"In the name of the Crimson Demons, let the collapse of thine origin manifest. Summon before me the root of thy power hidden within the lands of the kingdom of demise!"

Kazuma blinked dumbly. 'Not only did she ignore my order, she's also gone and changed her chant?'

"[Explosion!]"

Just as a larger version of the burning glyph manifested beneath Darkness and the two stuck adventurers, Kazuma swiftly swooped in and lifted them all away, actually flying off the ground in his haste to escape the magical eruption of flames that swiftly destroyed the area they'd been a few scant seconds ago.

"Don't blow up our allies, you idiot!"


COMPULSORY QUEST!

Harvest Cabbages from the migratory batch Flying into Axel!

Status: Completed (120 Cabbages Harvested)

Reward: 1,200,000 Eris


"Well, we're not gonna run out of vegetables for a good while!"

The cabbage hunt quest was now ended, and now the whole guild was enjoying the results, the dishes served from cabbages harvested.

'I refuse to accept this.' Kazuma hungrily chewed the meal before him, in slight shock that it was a vegetable dish earning such craving reaction from him. 'A simple cabbage stir-fry has no business being this tasty!'

"I expected no less from a Crusader." Aqua commended Darkness, who'd finally been approved into the Party by Kazuma. "It's no surprise that those cabbages couldn't breach your iron-clad defenses."

Darkness sheepishly smiled at the praise. "N-No, I'm just a solidly-built woman. Becoming a wall to protect others is all I'm good for."

'Yeah, I'm fixing that later.' Kazuma put a mental pin on that.

"Aqua with her {Nature's Beauty} was something to behold as well." Megumin added. "You preserved the freshness of the harvested cabbage with cold water that didn't change in temperature for hours and went on to heal almost everyone's broken bones."

"That's only natural for an Archpriest like me." Aqua boasted before patting Kazuma's back. "You weren't half bad yourself, you know."

"Indeed." Darkness agreed. "When you combined your wind magic with the {Steal} Skill you learned from Chris, you actually managed to bypass the one-per-use rule and snag so many at once!"

"No kidding." Kazuma chuckled at the memory. "I actually got buried by all the ones that gathered on me. I was just using my Dev- I mean my magic to hold them in place so that I could aim properly. I had no idea that they'd combine like that."

Still now that Darkness had spoken to him directly, Kazuma was reminded of his earlier thoughts. "Hey, Darkness. I want to ask you a question."

"What is it?"

"...are you a masochist?"

Of the three present girls on the table, Aqua was the only who sprayed her drink from her mouth.

Darkness blinked in confusion. "What's a maso... Masochit?"

"As I thought." Kazuma nodded in satisfaction of his theory being proven correct, especially as Megumin displayed similar confusion.

After all, this new world seemed to be around the medieval era.

A time period in which fetishes weren't even acknowledged yet.

A naturally born masochist like Darkness... probably had no way to vent her desires beyond instinctually infecting her normal daily life with it.

Add in that 'ignorance' factor to everyone else and it could explain why nobody other than Kazuma seemed to be weirded out by her.

Well, another possible theory was that Darkness had a close relationship with a deity who was somehow masking Darkness's masochism with chivalry and protecting her reputation so that she wouldn't be seen as a freak by her comrades.

But that's impossible for there weren't supposed to be any other deities down here other than Aqua.

As far as Kazuma knew, at least.


KingVessel: When I think about it, I never actually recall any resident of the fantasy world properly referring to Darkness as a masochist except people like Kazuma and Aqua who possess modern knowledge. Eris is probably too kind to do so herself.