Chapter 21: Those Who Are Kept
Harry's latest fall into the depths of his mind was a bit off and on compared to those before it. It had only been one long day since the incident, but he had just gotten out of the Hospital wing that morning.
The reason that he was kept the night before was because he had fallen asleep listening to his mates heart and breath against his back, but had woken up alone and restricted. He panicked and tore at the blankets and sheets trying to get free, but he had only managed to tear his arms and legs up in the process.
Severus was only in the next room speaking to the Matron, but Harry's panic clouded that realization. It was such a quick switch from the peaceful resting state the teen had been in, and it had alerted him to his mate being up again.
So the Dragon and Medi-witch got the blankets off of him, and spelled a calming draught into his system. As soon as Harry was alone with his mate, the man would reassure him that he would not be alone. The same thing happened over the next few times he had fallen asleep as well, even in times when his mate had been sitting in the chair beside his bed.
It wasn't until he was broken out of the panic that he realized he was safe, and that his mate had not left him like he had dreamed.
Severus was being patient with Harry, and the teen couldn't help but want to sing when the man was around...
The only problem was that he couldn't sing. It only came out as short hums or a sad little warble that meant he was emotionally overwhelmed.
He asked his mate not to talk with his family just yet, and he made his friends promise not to either. It wasn't their problem that he couldn't sing anymore. How would they have helped either way? He got by without anyone knowing by smiling when he hummed, or just staying in the hospital wing, which was rare for him to do. In so little time, it got to the point where even he knew that he needed help.
He wanted to tell his family, but he wasn't sure how, so he was going to send them a letter. And he wrote down exactly what he felt they should know, but before he knew it, he was called up to the Headmasters office.
When he got there, he saw that his whole family was packed into the room, Ryan and Aubrey included.
Eyes wide, Harry looked at each of their concerned faces, before staring at the floor. So they knew. Had they only heard today about his voice, or were they here because of the incident.
Dumbledore had caught him up on what he had told his family, then patting Harry's shoulder, excused himself into another room.
The old man was trying to be kind, and Harry understood that, but he also wanted to have the Headmaster there as a bit of a buffer. His mate was in the dungeons, getting ready for the new week and the chaos that Harry's new placement was sure to cause once announced.
The announcement had only been pushed back by Harry staying in the infirmary for that extra day. Tomorrow morning it would be announced, and his life would be scrutinized and publicized once again.
But as it was, he still had to deal with his family's reactions.
The Dunhill's were a very tactile family, and while they understood that Harry could only accept affection sporadically, they wasted no time in affirming he was ok through touch. They didn't rush at him, which he was silently grateful for, but they did each ruffle his hair, or touch his cheeks, just something quick and simple without overwhelming him.
Adler brought him to a seat, where he sat between his parents, and was soon surrounded by his siblings. He oddly did not feel cornered, but put that down to them being far enough away from him, with clear paths to the exit should he feel the need to get away. It was a tactic he knew well from when all of the Dunhill siblings first spoke to him in a group. He had been a bit overwhelmed until one of the boys broke through the loud and excited voices, and explained what the rest had to do. It had been Hollen, who got everyone to back down, and the embarrassment on their faces was still refreshing to this day. So, he knew he had Hollen to thank for this as well.
His siblings were gazing at him softly, with looks full of emotion, and they sat in silence for a moment until he had calmed down.
"Why didn't you want to tell us about the bullying, son?" Adler started slowly, placing a comforting hand on the boys shoulder.
He was pissed that the school hadn't even contacted him or his wife until after the worst possible scenario had almost come to pass. He felt that any parent would want to know something of this calibre, and his son's mate was on the short list of those he was unhappy with as well. The man had informed them about Harry's school life, especially during this year, but had told them to let Harry speak to them first.
It had never happened, and the small boy had continued to insist that everything was fine and normal. Which, knowing now what they did not know then, it seemed the boy hadn't been lying at all.
"I--" Harry started, unable to look his adoptive father in the eye as he spoke. Instead he stared at the floor and the grass stains on his sneakers. He knew why, but could he burden them with his reasons? No, he decided. It was best not to let them see how broken he was, he didn't want them to leave too.
"It's normal... and I want something in my life to just be ordinary." This was a smaller reason why he had kept the treatment from his peers to himself. It was true enough and he knew it would distract most of them from the fact that there was a bigger problem with him than normal.
He focused on the feeling his mate had given him when they shared emotions that day, and exhaled slowly, rubbing his hands against his jeans.
"And your song?" Rowan asked, placing her hand on his hair, gently combing through the thick brown tresses.
The teen jolted a bit at the blunt question, but answered, keeping his voice steady as he did.
"Gone." He sighed.
"Have you been feeling this way since your godfather passed? Or was it when the bullying began again? Depression can cause a sirens song to become nothing more than a low cry, and I don't want to see you fall into that..." She explained calmly, trying not to trigger the small siren next to her.
"Severus told you?" He asked softly. The man had tried to bring up speaking with his family a few times over the past month, but it wasn't until now that he really understood why. He had been dodging the possibility that his adoptive family already knew. He wanted to hope that they were ignorant to the song, or the bullying... More than any of that, he wanted them to think he was normal.
Rowan took one of his hands in her own, "Yes, he did sweetheart," She whispered, "because he cares for you, and he knows that we love you as well."
"You do?" Harry asked, shocked. He knew on some level that they liked him, but they had never said those exact words to him before. And she called him sweetheart. He couldn't believe he had gotten so many positive nicknames from this family. People he has only been blood related to for just under a few years.
Adler joined back in, ruffling his sons hair affectionately. "Of course we love you, you're our son, we just weren't sure if you would respond well to hearing it until recently. And we don't want you to hold everything in because you think it will be a burden on us."
Brianna picked up where her father left off, "You're our brother Harry, and no matter what comes, we are here to help you with your problems."
Leo smiled and said in his low calming tone, "And even though you weren't always our sibling, you are now, and blood protects blood Jay." The nickname was to reminded Harry that even with his new name, he would always be a Potter as well, but the endearment his brother spoke with was genuine. He wasn't trying to ostracize the other, he wanted the smaller boy to know that they weren't looking to replace the two people Harry had lost over a decade ago, just to add to the circle of people who would fight for him.
"Thank you." He mumbled. The kind of support he was being shown right now was too new to him. He knew that if he confided in them, he would be easier to hurt. It had happened with Ron, so why should he believe his adoptive family wouldn't decide to throw him away as well?
"Please, just try to let us in, so many people want to see you happy." Juni added, his voice low just like the others, and Harry felt his eyes water.
He shouldn't let them in, a little voice cried. He wouldn't risk leaving himself open to attack and heartache, and he knew he couldn't survive it again.
The view of his shoes was becoming blurry, and he felt like he couldn't breathe.
"I need to go..." He excused himself, before hopping up and racing out of the room.
HPSSHPSSHPSS
After that disastrous meeting, Harry hid in his mates office. The man wasn't there and wouldn't be for a little while yet, so he could hide out until his family had gone away.
He loved them, he truly did, but he didn't want to give them the chance to hurt him. He hadn't even had a chance to come to terms with the fact that he had made his mate shut down last year. He still felt guilty over it, as well as every other event that had happened because of him over the last five years.
Everyone who got close enough to him always wound up leaving him or causing him pain. Or worse yet, dying because of him. What if he's so worried about them causing him pain, but ignoring the fact that he's doing the same to them?
Maybe he shouldn't have run away?? No they'll likely be gone by now...
He wished he had his wand so he could check the time, but the pit in him remembered the way he'd lost it, so he instead took a few breaths and got ready to leave. Staring intently at the floor, he trudged forward, debating on if he should really go back and risk messing with his emotions again.
Keep them from this pain or keep himself from it? It was a hard question, but he didn't need to answer it.
Because at this moment, he was no longer alone. As he turned to leave, he walked straight into his mate's obscured chest. The mans arms were folded over his chest, and Harry could just imagine the look of dissatisfaction on his face even though he was not at face level.
He tried really hard to resist the urge to gulp or look away, but in the end he couldn't look up at his mates piercing dark eyes, or raised eyebrow.
Severus knew where he was before this, where he knew he should still be... There was no other reason why the man would be here now.
"Rie." He spoke, voice low but firm. "Speak with me." The man led his mate to a small desk, pulling up two chairs for them to sit.
The dragon wanted to hear his mate out. Harry was not the type of person to just suddenly run away, so why was he hiding here of all places? Despite it being the closest the boy could get to Severus' in school nest as possible?
"They won't want to keep me anymore if they get hurt." Harry murmured cutely, managing to hide his eyes behind his bangs.
He gripped the seat from between his spread legs and tried his best not to look into those deep, understanding pools of darkness.
"Everyone I know keeps getting hurt because of me. I'm full of rotten luck and I know that if I let them closer we'll all wind up hurt." He said finally. He didn't want his mate to know that he still felt unworthy, but that he already knew letting them in was a choice he'd have to make alone.
"I love them-- I really do, but is that enoug--"
The boy seated tensely was so intent on keeping his cards close to himself, that he didn't realize his mate was standing closer to him than before.
Severus knelt quickly, grasping the small hands which was beginning to splinter the wood. He knew what his mate was thinking, and it was true. Only Harry could decide who to let in and when, but he could hear the familiar self loathing in his mates voice clear as day.
"You, are not unworthy of their love, affection, or attention."
Harry's head jerked up, the man can't have read his mind could he?
A soft chuckle escaped Severus as he lifted the clawed hands of his gem to his lips.
"I did not use Legilmens Rie. You are just too easy to read, love. However you and I both know that there are no absolutes in life. Will you take this chance or the next one?" His lips moved into a smirk, and his fangs were soon on display.
It was something that Harry immediately found he liked about his mate. It was hard to concentrate when the man he adores is kneeling in front of him, holding his hands, and smiling so devilishly at him.
"Are you going back? Or staying here?" The man asked at last, ignoring the dazed look on his blushing gem's face. If that was all it took to bring his virginal mate to a daze, he'd have to be much, much more careful in future.
The words took a moment to break through his foggy thoughts, but soon enough Harry had heard the words. Did he truly want to go back into that room? Were they still there?
He asked this niggling question, and heaved a small sigh when the man across from him nodded. His mate wasn't the type to lie, and even though he was still reluctant to go back in and apologize for running, he knew what he would do.
"Can you, um... can you walk me back Sevvy?"
Finally he looked into his mates eyes, expecting to see a quiet satisfaction or a smug expression. All he got instead was wide eyes and a blush. He hadn't meant to let that slip past his thoughts. It was supposed to come out as a manly nickname for his mate, not some cutesy one the mature dragon wouldn't like!
Licking his lips, Severus closed his eyes, knowing that while his mate was young, the lust in his eyes would be unmistakable.
"Say it again." He demanded, guiding his mates wrist up to his nose. Softly he scented his mate, basking in the sweet melody of his mates voice as he spoke his pet name.
"S--Sevvy?" Harry said flustered.
"Mm... Once more." The man rumbled.
Harry whispered the name this time keeping his breaths steady and his thighs tense. He didn't want to meet his family like this!
"Sevvy." The smaller male said after a deep breath. His mate smelled like a heavy mask of arousal, as if he were holding himself back again.
Harry wondered what it would feel like to let the man break him...
Severus stood calmly, keeping to himself the fact that his little mate had somehow projected such a lewd thought to him.
The young man in front of him looked so cute in his daze. From his shorter stature, to the way his hair fell in soft waves. His mate had begun styling those long brunette locks lately, braiding them at night so the waves and curls were pronounced during the day...
And his face, Severus thought as he led his mate through the most deserted halls. He walked close enough to feel his mates heat, but far enough to be proper.
Even now, he did not have to glance at his little treasure to map out the teens attractive features.
Harry's lashes were long, not uncommon for males, but they were thick and framed his multicolored eyes well. The almond shape of his eyes lended well to the large innocent look he possessed.
His mates nose had stayed the same throughout the blood adoption, but that wasn't to say it fit any less perfectly. And the teens lips. Oh how they had seemed to gain infinite color whenever Harry nibbled on them.
His cheeks were soft, though his jaw was more angular, but it framed his perfectly crafted face, and his ears were just enough to make him look like a doll now. Harry Potter-Dunhill looked like a curious mix of soft feminine prowess, and masculine energy when he put all his focus into a task.
Even the newer more distinct female characteristics were not enough to keep others from swooning over his mate. Instead it gained him even more fans.
It was a tiresome job keeping the brats from approaching and confessing their love to his mate, but in the end they all seemed to get the message. And either his gem was clueless, or simply did not care to see how many admirers he now had.
All of this continued to graze Severus' thoughts until they reached the office, and Severus turned, only brushing his hand across Harry's in parting.
Harry continued forward, knowing that if he turned or watched the man go, he would be more than tempted to follow.
HPSSHPSSHPSS
Back in the room, Harry felt a bit calmer and ready to talk to his family. He made sure to close the door and retake his seat, showing that he'd try not to run again.
"I'm... sorry. I wasn't sure what to say, I--" He babbled, before stopping himself with a sigh.
"I don't want to be hurt by you." He admitted. He didn't quite have the Gryffindor courage to look them all in the eyes, but he made sure to look past their heads and speak clearly.
From the sounds of shock and the gasps coming from the room, he knew they were about to start up again.
"But I also don't want to hurt you..." He continued, not giving them much of a chance to speak. "Everyone around me ends up being hurt. So, I thought that-- that if I didn't let you in, you wouldn't be able to do either. But I, well, er-- I do love you lot, so please don't hurt me..." He finally said, though his sentence petered out towards the end.
He didn't have enough in him to say much more than that, and even though he still felt unworthy of being in this family, he knew his mate and adopted family had a point.
The next half hour of his time in the Headmaster's office was filled with countless reassurances, and even a short therapy session with Hollen. They spoke behind a privacy charm, and Harry was encouraged to say everything he felt, even if it was only to himself or in a journal for the next month.
Then when he felt ready he could share it with someone, and it would hopefully help him to heal a bit more.
Once the Headmaster came back, the atmosphere changed again.
The elder wizard looked somewhat apologetic, and after saying as much, informed the family that the Weasley brood would be arriving within the next two days to discuss the issues, and that they'd like to speak with Harry as well.
Harry felt faint. He felt a bit sick, and just like he was about to get those strange black dots across his sight. He was outwardly fairly calm, but in his eyes panic was rising.
"They will not speak to him. Not at all." Rowan spoke with a firm motherly voice. "Not until we have met with them and have spoken to them about their children's behavior."
"Children's?" Dumbledore asked a bit taken aback. "Mr. Potter has spoken about being a bit uneasy around Ms. Weasley, but I'm sure that could be cleared up easily."
"No!" Aubrey said, her voice just above a whisper. It was low, but gained the attention of the now pale boy across from her.
"She's been stalking him for weeks, leaving creepy notes on his desks and by his plate during meals. She's taken up snapping pictures of him as well." Ryan explained, wincing at the horrified look on her little brothers face.
"We've had to form a task force to keep her away as much as possible!" Aubrey complained with a pout. It was the one she used unconsciously, that had boys tumbling around her feet, and the amusing memory served to calm Harry a small bit.
But still, "Weeks...?" He thought meekly, trying to remember her being around all that much.
The girl was usually always somewhere in the distance, and either his sisters or friends would pull him away or distract him from connecting the dots.
"Everyone was...?" The siren's face was in flames and his heart was bursting.
They didn't want him to worry, they had been doing so much for him and he hadn't even noticed. Did that mean--
"Even the professors have been trying to help before all this happened." Ryan spoke, and her confident glance towards him meant that even his mate was in on it like he'd thought.
His blush deepened and he regretted closing the door behind himself now. How come Severus couldn't tell him these things?
He had a right to know! But then again would it have made Sev angry and jealous if Harry knew who was looking?
