JENNIE

When I finally wake up, it's two in the afternoon. I can't remember the last time I slept past eleven, let alone later than lunch, but I forgive myself by taking into account that I stayed up until four reading and browsing through Lisa's wonderful gift. It is so thoughtful, too thoughtful, the best gift I've ever received.

Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I check my missed calls. Two from my mother, one from Jisoo. A few "Happy Birthday" messages clog my inbox, including one from Kai. I've never been that into birthdays, but I don't exactly love the idea of being alone today either.

Well, I won't be alone. Catherine Earnshaw and Elizabeth Bennet are much better company than my mother.

I order a crapload of Chinese food and stay in my pajamas the entire day. My mother is irate when I call her and tell her that I'm "sick." I can tell that she doesn't believe me, but honestly, I don't care. It's my birthday, and I can do whatever I choose to do, and if what I choose to do is lie in bed with takeout and my new toy, then that's what I'll do.

My fingers try to pull up Lisa's number a few times, but I stop them. No matter how wonderful her present was, she still slept with Nancy. Whenever I think she couldn't possibly hurt me worse, she does. I begin to think about my dinner with Taehyung on Saturday. Taehyung, who is so nice and so charming. He says what he means, and he gives me compliments. He doesn't yell at me, or annoy me. He has never lied to me. I never have to guess what he's thinking or how he's feeling. He's smart, educated, successful, and he volunteers at shelters on holidays. He's so perfect, compared to Lisa.

The problem is that I shouldn't be comparing him to Lisa. Taehyung is a little boring, yes, and we don't share the same passion for novels that Lisa and I do, but we also don't share a damaged past.

The most infuriating thing about Lisa is that I actually love her personality, rudeness and all. She's funny, witty, and can be so sweet when she wants to be. This gift is messing with my head—I need to remember what she has done to me. All the lies, the secrets, and most all the times she's fucked Nancy.

I text Jisoo back to thank her, and within seconds she responds asking for the address of my hotel. I want to tell her not to drive all the way here, but I also don't want to spend the remainder of my day completely alone. I don't get dressed, but I do slip on a bra under my shirt and read some more, waiting for Jisoo to arrive.

An hour later, she knocks at the door, and when I open it, her familiar, warm smile makes me smile in return and she pulls me into her arms.

"Happy Birthday, Jennie," she says into my hair. "Thank you," I say and hug her tighter.

She lets me go and sits at the desk chair. "Do you feel any older?" "No . . . well, yes. I feel like I've aged ten years in the last week." She gives me a small smile but doesn't say anything.

"I ordered takeout—there's plenty left if you want some," I offer.

Turning, she grabs the white Styrofoam container and a plastic fork from the desk. "Thanks. So is this what you're doing all day?" she teases.

"Sure is." I laugh and sit cross-legged on the bed.

As she chews, Jisoo looks past me and raises a brow. "You got an e- reader? I thought you hated them."

"Well . . . I did, but now I kind of love them." I pick up the device and admire it. "Thousands of books right at my fingertips! What could be better?" I smile and tilt my head to the side.

"Well, nothing says happy birthday like buying yourself a gift," she says with her mouth full of rice.

"Actually, Lisa got it for me. She left it in my car." "Oh. That was nice of her," she says with a peculiar tone.

"Yes, very. She even put all these wonderful novels on there and . . ." I stop myself.

"So what do you think about it?" she asks.

"It confuses me even more. She does these incredibly kind things sometimes, but she does the most hurtful things at the same time."

She smiles and waggles the fork while she says, "Well, she does love you. Unfortunately, love doesn't always go hand in hand with common sense."

I sigh. "She doesn't know what love is." I start scrolling through the list of romantic novels, and note that common sense is not something usually seen in any of these stories.

"She came to talk to me yesterday," she says, causing me to drop my gift onto the mattress.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know. It surprised me, too. She came looking for me, her dad, or even my mother," she says, and I shake my head.

"Why?"

"To ask for help."

Worry builds inside of me. "Help? With what? Is he okay?"

"Yeah . . . well, no. She asked for help with you. She was completely distraught, Jennie. I mean, she came to her father's house, of all places."

"What did she say?" I can't picture Lisa knocking on Marco's door to ask for relationship advice.

"That she loves you. That she wants me to help her persuade you to give her another chance. I wanted you to know; I don't want to keep things from you."

"I . . . well . . . I don't know what to say. I can't believe she came to you. To anyone, really."

"As much as I hate to admit it, she isn't the same Lisa Manoban that she was when I first met her. She even joked about hugging me." She laughs.

I can't help but join her. "He did not!" I don't know how I feel about any of this, but that thought is definitely funny. When I stop laughing, I look at Jisoo and dare to ask, "Do you really believe that she loves me?"

"Yes, I do. I don't know if I think you should forgive her, but if there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that she does love you."

"It's just that she lied to me, made me a joke—even after she told me she loved me, she still went and told them all what happened between us. Then, as soon as I begin to think I could possibly consider trying to move past that, she sleeps with Nancy." Tears prick my eyes, and I grab the water bottle on the nightstand and take a drink in an attempt to distract myself.

"She didn't sleep with her."

I look over at her. "Yes, she did. She told me she did."

Jisoo puts the food container down and shakes her head. "She just said that to hurt you. I know that's not much better, but you two are both known to fight fire with fire."

Looking at Jisoo, the first thing I think is that Lisa is good. She even has her stepsister believing her lies. The second thing I think is: But what if Lisa didn't actually sleep with Nancy? Absent that, could I move toward forgiving her? I had my mind made up that I never would, but I can't seem to shake that girl.

As if the universe is mocking me, my phone lights up with a message from Taehyung that says Happy Birthday, Beautiful.

I send him a quick thanks, then say to Jisoo, "I need more time. I don't know what to think."

She nods. "Fair enough, so what are you doing for Christmas?" "This." I gesture to the empty takeout box and e-reader.

She grabs the remote. "You aren't going to go home?"

"This is more of a home than my mother's house," I say and try not to think about how pathetic I am.

"You can't just stay in a hotel alone on Christmas, Jennie. You should come to our place. I think my mother got you a few things before . . . you know."

"My life went down the drain?" I half laugh and she nods playfully. "Actually, I was thinking that since Lisa is leaving tomorrow, I would stay at the apartment . . . just until I get into the dorms, which hopefully will be before she returns. If not, then I can always come back to this lovely abode." I can't help but joke about how ridiculous of a situation I'm in right now.

"Yeah . . . you should do that," Jisoo says with her eyes focused on the television.

"You think? What if she shows up or something?"

She still doesn't take her eyes from the screen but agrees. "She'll be in Thailand, right?"

"Yeah. You're right. My name is on the lease, after all."

Jisoo and I watch television and talk about Yeri leaving for New York. She's considering transferring to NYU next year if she decides to stay out there. I'm happy for her, but I don't want her to leave Washington— not that I tell her that, of course. Jisoo stays until nine, and after she leaves I curl onto the bed and read until I fall asleep.

THE NEXT MORNING I get ready for my return to the apartment. I can't believe I'm actually going back there, but I don't have many options. I don't want to take advantage of Jisoo, I definitely don't want to go to my mother's, and I'll run out of money if I stay here. I feel guilty for not going to my mother's, but I don't want to listen to her snide comments all week. I still may go there for Christmas, but not today. I have five days to decide.

Once my hair is curled and my makeup is done, I put on a long-sleeved white shirt and dark jeans. I want to stay in my pajamas, but I need to go to the store to get some food for the next few days. If I eat whatever food Lisa has in the apartment, she'll know I was there. I pack my few belongings in my bags and hurry to my car, which, to my surprise, has been vacuumed and smells faintly of mint. Lisa.

It starts to snow as I make my way to the grocery store. I buy enough food to last me until I decide what I want to do on Christmas. As I wait in line to check out, my mind wanders to what Lisa would have gotten me for Christmas. My birthday gift was so thoughtful, who knows what she'd have came up with. I hope it would be something simple, not expensive.

"Are you going to move up?" a woman's voice barks from behind me.

I look up, the cashier is waiting impatiently with a scowl on her face. I didn't notice the line moving or disappearing in front of me.

"Sorry," I mumble, placing my groceries on the belt.

My heart begins to race as I pull into the parking lot of the apartment. What if she hasn't left yet? It's only noon. I look frantically around the lot, and her car is gone. She probably drove herself to the airport and left her car there.

Or Nancy drove him.

My subconscious doesn't know when to shut up. Once I determine that she isn't here, I park and grab the groceries. The snow is coming down harder and covers the cars around me in a thin layer. At least I'll be in the warm apartment soon. When I reach the door, I take one last breath before unlocking the door and stepping inside. I really love this place—it's so perfect for us . . . for her . . . or me, separately.

When I open the cabinets and fridge, I'm surprised to find them stocked full of food. Lisa must have gone shopping in the last few days. I shove the food that I bought wherever it will fit and head back down to get my belongings.

I can't stop thinking about what Jisoo said. I'm floored by the fact that Lisa would go to anyone for advice, and that Jisoo professed to think Lisa loves me—a fact that I've known but buried and locked away for fear it would give me hope. If I allow myself to admit that she loves me, it will only make all of this worse.

As soon as I get back into the apartment, I lock the door and put my bags in the room. I take out most of my clothes and hang them up so they won't be too wrinkled, but using the closet that was intended for Lisa and me only makes the knife inside of me twist once again. She only has a few pairs of black jeans hung up on the left side. I have to force myself not to hang up her T-shirts, they are always slightly wrinkled, although somehow she still manages to look perfect. My eyes travel to the black dress shirt hanging sloppily in the corner, the shirt she wore to the wedding. I hastily finish my task and walk away from the closet.

I make myself some macaroni on the stove and turn on the television. I turn the volume up so that I can hear an old episode of Friends that I have seen at least twenty times, and go into the kitchen. I speak along with the characters as I load the dishwasher; I hope Lisa hasn't noticed, but I can't stand to have dishes in the sink. I light a candle and wipe off the counters. Before I know it, I'm sweeping the floor, vacuuming the couch, and making the bed. Once the entire apartment is clean, I do a load of my laundry and fold the clothes Lisa had left in the dryer. Today is actually the most peaceful and calm day that I've had in the last week. That is, until I hear a set of voices and watch in slow motion as the lock turns.

Shit. She's here, again. Why does she always show up at the apartment when I'm there! Hopefully it's just that she gave an extra key to one of her friends to check on the place . . . Maybe it's Rosé with a girl? Anyone but Lisa—please, let it be anyone but Lisa.

A woman I've never seen before steps through the doorway, but I somehow instantly know who she is. The similarities are undeniable, and she is beautiful.

"Wow, Lisa, this flat is beautiful," she says, her accent just as thick as her daughter's.

This. Is. Not. Happening. I'm going to look like a complete psychopath in front of Lisa's mom—with my food in the cabinets, my clothes in the washer, and the entire apartment cleaned from top to bottom. I stand completely frozen and panicked as she looks up at me.

"Oh, my goodness! You must be Jennie!" She smiles and rushes over to me.

As Lisa steps through the doorway, she cocks her head to the side and drops her floral-print luggage from her hands. The surprise on her face is beyond evident. I tear my eyes from her and focus on the woman coming toward me with open arms.

"I was so disappointed when Lisa said you'd be out of town this week!" she gushes and wraps her arms around me. "What a cheeky girl, fibbing just to try and surprise me!"

What?

She puts her hands on my shoulders and pulls me to look at her. "Oh, you are so lovely, look at you!" She squeals and hugs me again.

I stay silent and hug her once more. Lisa looks terrified and extremely caught off guard.

Join the club.