We are never the same after someone has first loved us. The self the other sees hangs in the mirror at least part of the time.
— Marge Piercy, "May Apple"
Nami tore her eyes from Tama's sleeping form, closing the book as his hand slid from her shoulder to grasp her wrist. Shivering, she rested against his chest as he slung his arm around her waist. On his lap, she fidgeted, but he didn't move yet, his chin still on her other shoulder to watch their daughter. When he sighed, it heaved them both, and Nami turned her head just so.
"Luffy …?"
His cheek touched hers in a smile before his neck twisted so lips could trace her ear. "I have your gift."
She closed her eyes, holding her breath until he scooped her into his arms, and her hand clamped to her mouth to stop the cry. But she still hissed, "Idiot."
He grinned as he carried her to the door. "So you're letting me make love to you before?"
Huffing, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders only to pout at his wider smile. "You're the worst."
"I haven't even started yet." Nami squirmed when the door shut behind him, and hot lips took her throat in a vice-grip. Dropped on the bed, Nami cried out as he tore at her obi, the cloth flung behind him before he clutched the robes of her kimono. "This has been driving me crazy all day."
She gaped at him. If anything, the kimono flattened her features! What could be so appealing about—
"Nothing underneath …"
Freezing, Nami flushed hot as he grinned wickedly. "Pervert!"
"Better get away from me then."
Nami scowled, but she crawled out from under him, holding her robes shut while he chuckled. Her cheeks burned, hurting in their heat. When she reached the headboard, Nami spun to check on him. He hadn't chased her onto the bed though. Luffy stood where he had before, loosening his cravat before he took something from his pocket.
He laid a wooden stick on the cover before her, and she stared at the sharpened end. Not a stick. A white wood with a blunt end opposite the carved. Luffy drew his hands back from the stake. His eyes never left hers.
"What …?"
"I wanted to spend time with Tama before you killed me. Will you still let me make love to you?"
Paling, Nami recalled running into him looking for her — he had said he had gone to see her family too. Had he wanted to see them too? She glanced at the white ashen shade of the stake, shivering when he dropped a hammer beside it.
"If you still want to reach my heart, here's how." Jaw unhinging, she shook her head, but he raised a finger. "I'm telling you how to kill me, Nami. If I ever …" he seemed to search for the word or phrase. Nami tensed at the sight of his lips moving as if trying some language that seemed wrong.
"I don't want to kill you," she whispered.
He smiled. "Now you don't? Here, I thought I'd have to fight for a chance to fuck you again."
With a flush, she sniffed, trying to stay stern. "Idiot. How could I kill you? I … you love Tama. I can't do it now. I won't."
"But you can."
Stinging touched her eyes, and Nami shook her head harder. "Anyone could! Why make me!?"
"I promised you back when you were my first."
Nami stared in astonishment until his eyes darted away for a moment, and …
"You don't believe that."
His eyes widened before he pursed his lips, shoulders hunching just barely. "You're my first love reborn."
Sitting taller, Nami slapped the cover. "Liar!"
For a moment, she stared before her eyes bulged in realization. If he was lying — if he didn't believe, what was the reason for lying? Wasn't it part of the religion around him? She eyed him, licking dry lips.
"Liar …" He winced, looking away as if reconfirming for her. She whispered, "Why have you been lying this … this whole time? Hundreds of years for what?"
"For you."
Eyes bulging, she leaned back as he climbed onto the bed. Even though he stopped out of reach, Nami felt the distance between them. An aching closeness that somehow pulled despite everything. Like she needed to be closer. She inhaled a shaking breath. "But I'm not her. None of us were! Your lies about reincarnation means that I couldn't possibly be her!"
He bowed his head. A god in prayer. "I know."
"Tell me," she whispered, stiffening when he grabbed the hammer and stake to place it between them. "Tell me what you are."
His lips twisted in what looked like childish annoyance, lips even curling back to show gritting teeth for a flash before he grunted a sigh. "It was a long time ago."
"Everything was a long time ago, yes! Tell me or I'll have someone else do it!"
Luffy raised a brow at her. "The Apostles? Hm, they might do."
"Luffy!"
Sighing hard, he closed his eyes before he pouted at her. "You wouldn't understand it."
"I don't understand now. How little more could I understand if you tell me something? Anything. You say you trust me. Well, trust me, if you stay silent, I'll hand these things over to them!" She gritted her teeth, staring into his eyes rather than risk letting her eyes flick away even for an instant.
He sighed again, a tiny tick upward for the corner of his lips. "I guess?"
"Just … tell me what you are?" She dared to let her hands reach out for him past the implements, but he drew back.
"I'm a monster like you said."
She searched for his fangs, but his mouth had closed, eyes staring at nothing. "I said that because I don't understand. Luffy … please."
Luffy twitched, raising his eyes before he met hers at last. "I hunted monsters, you know."
Nami chewed on her lip, sitting back with a frown. "That's what the writ says."
"That's true enough."
What's the lie?
"I hunted with my brothers. I was the youngest." He smiled so wryly, Nami caught her breath. "I had two. And then he killed them both before he killed me."
She blinked before she tilted her head. But he didn't look away. His eyes never left hers, and his shoulders didn't twitch. Fidgeting, she said, "And … then you grabbed the Crown of Immortality in your last moments?" His head cocked before he laughed, and somehow she knew it was at her. "You're not dead though! What happened? Tell the truth now!"
Yet as she clenched her teeth, Luffy's eyes twinkled in his merriment. "Someone wrote that down for me once, and I just rolled with it."
Her jaw dropped, but she shook her head. "Well, you're still not dead!"
"Ah, well …" His head tilted to the other side, frowning deeply as he seemed to roll the thoughts about in his brain. "I've never really told anyone else about what happened. And I was trying to kill the other monsters left over, and the memory of it all, so now … Maybe I started wrong?"
"How should I know!?" She sniffed. He seemed to enjoy it regardless, as if something had eased up during the talking.
"Well, I did die. That's how it works."
Nami scowled before she recalled the strange words from the book. A corpse they called him. She knew just how warm his touch felt though. The very memory of his breath left on her neck had her shivering.
"You're dead," she said. Not believing a word.
"I think the World Eater didn't finish me off right. Or maybe he thought he could control me like his other monsters." Her nose pinched in confusion. Control? "But I didn't exactly ask him. I killed him, and I crawled out of that hole …" Now his eyes dropped, but Nami didn't think it was to hide anything. Shame flooded his voice. "But the sun burned my skin, so I crawled back inside. Where my brothers laid and that thing that killed them. Even when I had to die … I didn't want to."
Her eyes widened when he bared his fangs in a snarl, making shaking fists in his lap.
"I stayed in that hole for a week. Starving." His fangs grew as if in memory, and Nami shivered, going still while he ground his fangs. And his eyes filled with tears. "And she came looking for me."
Nami clutched her knees, mouth open, wanting to reach out. But her limbs froze in place as much as she wanted to wrap her arms around him.
I can whisper it in my heart, but I'm still terrified. Doesn't that mean it's not true? I can't even show him …
She thought she could see him. Down in a cave. A hole in the earth where he paced his brothers and raged at the body of the thing that had felled them. He would peer out — watch her with those same pained black eyes that gazed at her now. "I told her to leave, but she …"
"I'd stay," she whispered.
Luffy smiled waveringly. "She did. My heart cut her flesh, and I drank …" His eyes wandered, brow furrowing before he whispered, "I don't even remember what she looked like. Her name is gone. I should have written it all down. The Apostles remembered my brothers for me, but I can't remember the woman I love except for how she tasted."
When he licked his lips, he shuddered.
Nami twitched, but he shook his head. "I promised her she could kill me if I ever turned."
She stared at him, trying to piece that together. Turned? She licked her lips.
"The World Eater made monsters though." That's what the holy writs said. The World Eater had made monsters, and so they spread throughout the world killing and maiming as they went. She clutched her kimono, trying to recall what she could of those things. "You're just a man though."
He smiled. "What do you think he made monsters out of?"
Nami opened her mouth, but it hung there as she caught on that thought. Somehow, she had come to think that they had been made of thin air or even sewn together through some sorcery with unwilling beasts. Monsters from back then were depicted as almost man-shaped, but they had claws. She checked his hands and nails, and he raised a brow when she huffed. Nami had him now.
"You don't have any claws like a monster. All the pictures showed them."
Luffy scratched his cheek before he chuckled. "Ah, right. Pictures." His eyes narrowed in thought before he shrugged and bared his fangs, licking one as she stared. "Those are easier to lie with."
Nami stilled, recalling the beautiful art and colored glass windows where any could see them. How the little shrine in her village had a menacing clawed form of the World Eater carved into the stone altar with smaller creatures cowering around it while their savior, the Lord Conqueror, stood over them. All those images. Everywhere, for everyone to see. Erasing entire generations of memories.
Someone tried to write it down, she thought. That book that Robin had originally slipped to her had talked about some sort of monster like this. How much had the Apostles gotten right?
He placed his hand to his chest. "He made monsters from men and women, Nami. When he made monsters, it killed the person. I'm the last monster in all the world. I killed him, but he changed me before that. He still won somehow."
His tongue trailed over his fang again before he seemed to realize what he had done and closed his mouth.
Nami trembled, staring at the creature that kept climbing into her bed. That dragged her into the bath for kisses that made her heart explode. The monster that bit her, taking her life even as she clawed his back and prayed for him to never stop. She wanted to reach out for him once more, but the distance only seemed wider now. For a moment, her chest burned as she silently begged him to meet her eyes again like always. It would make more sense to see the yearning and pain inside.
He went to kill a monster, lost his brothers, and when his lover came down to find him … "Luffy, what happened to her?"
"Not … them."
She shivered, knowing already.
"You were the only thing I had left. He killed everyone. Friends, family, my brothers. And I was him all over again. I wanted nothing more than to lie down and die. But there were so many more monsters out there still. I wanted all of them to pay."
Tensing, Nami clutched fists into the blanket. "Luffy …?"
When he raised red eyes to her, he whispered, "She didn't want to kill me. We promised each other we would if we ever turned. In the end, she couldn't do it though." Brow furrowing, she touched her neck, jumping when he tilted his head to peer at her. "She did one last thing for me, and … that gave me enough strength to climb out of that hole."
Nami gaped, clutching her neck. Had there been a knife? Did she have a stake and hammer like these? Or had she simply offered herself to him? Her lips twisted though, a stab of pain inside where she envisioned a bloody scene. Of him, crawling out covered in her blood.
Shaking her head, Nami said, "If she couldn't do it, she shouldn't have promised before. You … you're hurting now. Because of her."
But that fool smiled. "I don't blame her. No one wants to kill someone they love. That's not love."
As his eyes drifted over her, she turned that through her head before she stiffened. Did he not believe? Not just that she was his first love, but could he not believe that she — she no longer hated him.
Idiot. Say it. Lips tightened in a line though while his eyes eased into her.
"I've told you I love you, Nami. I must be a pervert if I've chased and married so many in search of her. But I'm a real monster too."
She didn't feel the least bit of surprise when she shook her head. "No."
A flat stubborn set formed his lips, but all pretense abandoned her as she slapped the stake and hammer aside so she could clap her hands onto his cheeks with a sharp crack that made him gape. His eyes bulged, and Nami kissed him, fingers clawing through his hair. He twitched, hands on her shoulders to squeeze her before he pushed her back at arms' length. Luffy panted, his eyes bulging when she licked her lips.
"You have it all wrong."
His eyes narrowed, confusion tinting his gaze. "Do I?"
"You're a monstrous pervert." She pinched his cheeks when he tried to scowl. "Pinning me in the library."
"You were on my lap."
"Dragging me into the bath to tease."
"You climbed on then too!"
"Or how you drive me crazy every single time." His mouth opened, but his brow creased. Nami leaned in closer, lips gracing his as she whispered, "Apologize. You turned me into a monstrous pervert just like you."
She saw the bob of his apple, and he murmured, "Did I?"
"It's a curse."
His lips quirked. "Is it anything like mine? Should I hold you down or you'll go wild?"
"Are you saying I need to hold you down?" Eyes widened as she shoved on his shoulders, and Nami crawled onto his lap with a hum, finding a little difficulty with the kimono. "How's this?"
Luffy stared at her, eyes dark as they trailed over her before landing on the stake beside them. "You can end it right now."
She snorted. "Why should I do what you want?"
"Are you really going to oppose everything I say? Even when you said you want me dead so many times now?"
Sniffing, she considered before she pinched his cheek. "You said you wanted to make love to me one last time. Who were you talking to then?"
For a moment, Luffy gaped, lips parting before he shook his head. "I'm talking to you right now."
"Who is the woman you want to make love to? Her? Or me?" Her hand smoothed over his cheek, stroking while he watched her with darkening black eyes.
As her thumb traced his lips, he kissed it. "Can I want both? Can I make love to her and fuck you?"
She smiled. "You can't make love to me?"
"Every time I try, I lose control." Nami tensed as he sat upright, grinning at wide eyes before he plucked loose the top button of his shirt. "I'm not dying tonight, am I?"
"I'll try to bury you with my fat thighs."
Smirking, he said, "No one's ever tried that before."
"Well, you can't make love to me when you lose control anyway."
"No?" His head tilted, eyes drinking her while Nami let her kimono fall past her shoulders.
She stuck her tongue out at him. "So no dying tonight."
He snorted, but the hunger in his eyes told her he was distracted enough from what he had told her to not mind. How long had he lived with all that? To just toss it aside? As he smoothed his hands up thighs he bared from under her kimono, Nami shivered from the cooler air hitting her torso, now free for his perusal.
"You want to keep me around? What for?" He grinned, taunting her.
But she said, "To pretend."
Luffy's hands paused at her waist, warm thumbs making circles on her stomach while she watched. He whispered, "What are we pretending?"
When she pushed him onto his back once again, his eyes widened. "That I'm a woman in love."
For a moment, his smile seemed sad. Luffy coiled his arms around her only to peck her nose. "What am I then?"
"The monster I fell in love with."
Twitching, Luffy raised his eyes as she scooted higher, now straddling his chest as she worked on the rest of his buttons. "Oh?"
"I caught you."
Brows shooting up, Luffy's eyes glittered, and she swore he breathed a little faster if the movement between her thighs indicated anything. "What are you going to do with me? Won't the other Apostles want to kill me? And if I don't have a steady supply of blood, I'll be hard for even you to handle."
"I'm going to feed you," she said, tasting the words on her tongue, "but only when I'm satisfied."
His lips parted, and a fang bared itself when he bit his bottom lip with a groan. She gave his vest a tug, smiling when a button snapped off. "How could I satisfy you? I'm starving."
She eyed his smug grin, and the tilt of his head while their eyes met. He could ruin her with a glance or twitch of his fingers. Nami knew it wouldn't be a tall order for him to satisfy her, she reasoned, but she also wanted to feel that confidence from before. Didn't he know how much she wanted to ruin him?
Nami bit her thumb, pouting down at him while he grinned wider. Grasping his hair with her other hand, she leaned over him, watching eyes widen as she shifted to straddle his head.
"Put those fangs away and stick out your tongue."
The eyes between her thighs darkened, but his mouth widened, fangs forming back into normally sized canines as his tongue aimed for her. A flush of his cheeks showed her his excitement even while he took a moment to lick his lips.
For a moment, Nami stared at his ravenous face before she whispered, "You can't stick it in though." His brow twitched in some confusion. "I'm a virgin, you know, and I don't want you getting blood from my virgin pussy."
Luffy groaned, grasping her hips only for her to smack his hands.
"Down, boy."
Hissing, he grasped the sheets instead, tearing cloth, and Nami smiled as a thrill ran through her.
When she reached below to part her lips, he moaned as she angled closer, now blindly searching for his tongue. His tongue made a bold lick across her pussy lips until she rocked against his lapping. Each pass stroked her clitoris in a hot, slick slide, and Nami bit her tongue to stop the cry.
She pulled back, and Luffy gritted his fangs, already growing again, and she paused. "Put those away, or you'll get no meal."
"I wanna break that pussy in," he said in a hiss, and Nami pouted.
"Don't you dare. You can have some blood from my neck."
Slowly, almost as if it pained him, Luffy pulled back his fangs as his lips curled back. "Give me your cunt again. I'll lick it all you want."
When she pressed against his tongue once more, his eyes rolled back with a shudder. His groan rippled through to the tip of his tongue while he laved through her folds and curled around her clitoris. Nami held onto his hair, panting as she tried to remember to pull back when he grew too curious and tapped upon her entrance. Her toes curled while he slurped and moaned. Between her thighs, Luffy drowned in heaven.
She squished his face, and his eyes rolled back, panting against her clit. He moaned something lost to her pussy mashed on his tongue.
"That's it. I can take care of myself, but I'll use this fat tongue." As his black eyes met hers, Nami stuck her tongue out at him. "What's that look for? Don't you want to taste my blood? You better please me right."
Luffy growled, a shuddering mass beneath her, and Nami squeaked when he grasped her thighs in a vice-grip. In the next instant, he was inside her. Her head spun, wavering on his face as her jaw unhinged, and Nami released a hard sob. It was just his tongue, but he thrust as if impaling her.
She whimpered, clenching as she writhed on his mouth. "Don't — don't! You're taking it …!"
Nami gasped as he tossed her to the bed, climbing over her with a growl. He tore his pants in his haste, and Nami pressed on his hips, but he pushed past her shabby defense easily. Especially when she bucked as he thrust inside.
"Mn! Monster!" Nami jerked with the next thrust, sobbing as she only clenched around his excitement. She tried to recall when he felt so hard, but the thought was shoved aside when he pounded into her.
"You can't punish me like that and think I won't do something about it! What made you think I won't break free?" She could only answer with her tongue rolling out of her mouth while she panted, and he grinned victoriously above her. "Fuck, you were cute though. I should keep you and train you to chirp like that again so I can break your cunt in all over again!"
He seemed to foam at the mouth, gritting fangs over her as he splayed her legs over her head. Nami sobbed as he slammed her into the mattress, losing sense of even the idea of control. Wasn't this the perfect position?
Luffy grabbed her tongue, and she gasped, trying to focus on him when he licked his chops. "Unless you're too fat with child to do it."
She twitched, but bent in half under him as he pounded balls deep inside had Nami's mind blanking except for that secret image and desire. Toes curled over his head, and Nami sobbed as a hard rush of pleasure swept her away. And his growl sent shivers through her.
Squeezing her tongue between thumb and forefinger, Luffy pumped hot juices into her before he grunted. "Satisfied, slut?"
Nami squeaked, but his fangs crunched into her throat. Somehow, they felt huge too, and Nami croaked as the pain melded through her, evaporating as if soaking into her even while he drew her inside of him. Her eyes drifted shut with a moan as his fingers threaded into her hair. When she squeezed him inside, he shifted to thrust again, hard for her once more.
Her knees hooked with an elbow and shoulder, relaxing while he rocked inside. As she clutched his arms, Luffy hummed into her throat, the ache rising to a fever pitch while her body writhed.
"Luffy …" She melted as his fangs slipped out, a hot tongue closing the marks.
"I'm not done with you yet." Luffy rolled with her, taking her onto his lap as he settled on his back with a sigh. He licked red lips and moaned. His hand coiled around her neck, and Nami tensed, watching him shudder as she squeezed him tight. "I'll let you pretend you're in control again. Now fuck a baby out of me."
Knees trembling, Nami slapped her hips on his lap while her body ached to obey. She clutched his wrist, and he smiled, sinking into bliss beneath her. He stroked her throat with his thumb and squeezed her neck with a teasing smile a few times, but it would loosen soon while Nami panted. Every time his hand tightened, so did she, drawing a whimper from herself and a growl from him.
Her body moved on its own. How could she make believe that she could take control with his hand around her throat and her own body betraying her? Yet, Nami mewled, the sound cut off as his grip tightened, and Nami's eyes widened when he didn't release.
"You want that baby, you gotta work those hips faster, Nami." With a whine, she braced herself on his chest, her body aching as she found a new rhythm on his cock. When he smiled, Nami hissed.
"I love you."
Luffy bit his lip, shuddering before he covered his eyes.
"I want your baby in me."
His chest heaved, eyes peeking out between fingers as he moaned.
"Don't you want to feel it?" As she tugged his other hand down to her belly, his eyes bulged behind his fingers. His palm pressed to her before he groaned. "I want you in me all the time."
"That's not fair," he whispered. Nami clenched around him, sighing when he grasped her hips. "Nami, you're not playing fair!"
Moaning, she circled her hips with a shiver. "Who's playing?" Nami bucked, gripping his shoulders while Luffy grunted, an eye shut tight while she ached around him. "I want you. I want your baby. Feed me …"
Jerking, Luffy cried out, panting faster as a hot stream hit her womb, and Nami nearly went still in shock before his hands yanked on her hips to keep her thrusting. In moments, she melted into him, bending to cry to his neck as her body trembled on his still hard cock. Soon, Nami had to sag into his embrace as he planted kisses over her face.
His whispers touched her ears between lips finding her cheeks, jaw and lips. "I love you. Love you."
"I love you too," she said, and he covered his eyes again, face burning hotter when she turned her kisses on him. "Pervert."
Luffy grunted before he peeked out at her with a pout. "You weren't playing fair."
"You came before me," she whispered, and he jerked.
"Huh?"
"So I can get whatever I want now, right?"
He pouted. "I thought you were going to be the death of me, but I didn't think it'd be like this."
Luffy laughed when she smacked his chest. She huffed and said, "I'm serious!"
"I am too!"
"Stay with me."
Humming at that, he squinted at her. "You're sure about that?"
Her mouth opened and closed before she sighed. "What's wrong with wanting the man I love?"
Lips pursed, and Luffy gazed at her in thought before he shifted to sit up. Nami flushed and shivered as he slipped out, taking her shoulders to squeeze them. "I'll always stay."
"Even when I'm gone too?"
Luffy twitched, his grip tightening on her shoulders. "What do you mean?"
"I want you to come with me." She waited, holding her breath while Luffy took her in, his fingers stroking her flesh before he bowed his head over a strand of hair he took in his palm to smell.
"You want nothing else?"
She tilted her head, pouting at him. "You're just trying to get out of it."
He smiled, so sudden and radiant, Nami had to blink as if to wipe away sunspots, but he said, "I'll do it. I'll come with you when you die. If you don't want anything else from a monster like me, then that's what I'll give you, Nami."
What was he on about? As if he could pass on some other gift to her because he was a monster. The only thing she could think of was that he could make more monsters. Make a monster out of her even. But he would have to kill her to do that, and her heart clenched from the very idea.
That wasn't love.
Luffy chased the thought away as he pulled her into the sheets with him.
