AN/ TW: Suicide

# #

Harsh morning light poured in through the bedroom window. It brushed Matrix's face, he moaned. The sudden warmth slowly eased him out of a dreamless sleep. As he rolled over he lost grip of the vodka bottle in his hand. It fell to the floor, hollow glass rattling against hardwood. The sound woke him up.

Instantly he squeezed his eyes shut. There was a strange numbness he felt all throughout his body. Part of him wondered if he was still sleeping, until the hangover started kicking in. The pain crept up on him; his head pounding with each beat of his broken heart.

Matrix wished he could forget, but he couldn't. After losing AndrAIa to the game he had drowned himself in liquor. In all honesty he didn't even know how he made it home that night. The last thing he remembered was being hunched over a toilet in a level 31 rest room.

He sat up, the room swaying with every movement. Matrix sat for a moment with his head in his hands. From a young age he had to be strong. It's what got him through everything; his mom leaving, the war, the endless amount of games. AndrAIa had entered his life for a brief moment in comparison to everything else. Yet somehow the thought of going on without her seemed like an impossible challenge to face.

He replayed that day in his mind over and over again; recounting an endless amount of scenarios where she would have been okay. It didn't matter what he imagined though, nothing would change. She was gone.

Matrix stumbled out of bed and crouched down. He reached under the mattress, searching for something; something he hadn't looked at since the war. After grabbing hold of a smooth handle he pulled out a silver briefcase. Matrix brought it up to the bed and he sat next to it. He ran his fingers over the rough surface. It was cool to the touch. After a deep breath he flicked open the latches on either side. The lid sprung open.

Matrix's right eye glistened and glowed red as it paired with the gun sitting before him. As he picked up the weapon he couldn't help but acknowledge that it fit so perfectly in his hand now. During the war it was a little heavy for such a small sprite. He gripped it tightly as he played with the settings on the side. He turned the dial all the way up and pointed the barrel to the side of his head. His finger gently caressed the trigger.

The sun behind him cast his dark shadow onto the floor. Matrix closed his eyes, taking a few calming breaths. In those moments he thought of her. He remembered the smell of AndrAIa's hair and the feeling of her hand in his. He saw her smile and heard her sultry voice in his ear.

"I love you, Enzo." It said.

He smiled. Never in a million cycles did he think anyone would love him the way she did.

Even though he felt he couldn't go on, thinking of her only made him lose his nerve. She wouldn't want this. Matrix opened his eyes.

Frisket sat in the doorway, staring at him.

"What do you want?" Matrix asked, frustrated.

Frisket gave a small bark.

"Get out of here!"

The whole reason he brought him home was to keep AndrAIa company. He had no reason to stick around now that she was gone.

Matrix put down his gun and stormed past the canine to the front door. He opened it and motioned for Frisket to leave. Frisket slowly trotted over. Instead of exiting the apartment he nuzzled his head against Matrix's leg affectionately.

"I said go…" He protested weakly.

Frisket ignored him.

"Disobedient mut."

Matrix sank to his knees, allowing Frisket to lick his face. Before he could stop himself Matrix wrapped his arms around Frisket, burying his face deep in the canine's red and yellow fur. He trembled as tears streamed down his face. Matrix had never been in so much pain.

# #

Mouse wasn't always a bad person. In fact she was once naïve and honest to a fault. Unlike what most sprites thought, she wasn't born a criminal.

Mouse was from a low level sector in a system so obscure that it may as well have not existed. Her mom was a school teacher and her dad a bank teller. As far as childhoods went hers was pretty normal; until the war started.

Her system was small and insignificant, so when the war began they didn't feel the effects right away. But slowly she noticed that her parents started to fight more, most of the time while watching the news. They were scared that the war would spread to their system as well, and who wasn't afraid of the User?

Luckily their home was never targeted, but that didn't stop them from being impacted in other ways. Every system in the net was required to bring aid or support in one way or another. Most of the time that resulted in higher taxes and providing the guardians with supplies.

Within a cycle Mouse went from having an ordinary boring life, to one where the cupboards were bare and energy was hard to come by. Her parents were always at odds with each other, but she didn't mind because they were family and sometimes family fought. She loved them regardless. Mouse hadn't even noticed that both her parents had lost their jobs, they did well to hide it. But that just made what happened next even more confusing to her.

One sunny day they took her to a park on the other side of the system, and just left her. They said they would be back in a nano, but they weren't. Deep down she knew that they wouldn't be back, and she was old enough to know that it was by choice.

She was clever for her age, so she wasn't scared. Rather than trying to find her way back home or go to the police she hid aboard the first ship she found going out on the net. That day she changed from an honest little girl to a sprite who would do anything to survive, she had to.

Mouse worked odd jobs, picking up unsavoury skills along the way. One day she took a job no one else would, one that destined her for deletion. Somehow Mouse succeeded, and she also gained the respect of every cut throat on the net. One virus in particular was exceptionally impressed. Daemon instantly took a liking to her. Mouse liked her too; maybe more than she should have.

Daemon was a lot of things, but she was the one person on the net that Mouse could trust; virus or not. Mouse admired her seemingly infinite wisdom and grace. Daemon's only fault was her inability to feel complex emotions. She would never reciprocate what Mouse felt. Mouse was okay with that as long as they were together. Being together was all that mattered.

"Mouse?"

Daemon's soft voice pulled her out of her daydream. Mouse had been staring out the window looking at the swirling shapes and colours of the web. She turned to face the virus who looked back with a calm face.

"Yes, Daemon."

"You look nervous."

"I'm fine."

Daemon tucked a loose strand of staticky orange hair behind Mouse's ear. Before she could pull away Mouse held her hand, refusing to let go. Daemon smiled, taking a few steps back, leading Mouse away from the window.

"Mouse, do not lie to me. What is on your mind?"

"... The User."

"Hmm, I see."

"A game cube fell in Mainframe. There must be more."

"Do not fear these things, Mouse. On the web we are safe. The User has no power over us here." She reassured her.

"I hope you're right."

"Have I ever let you down?"

"Never." Mouse said with a smile.

"Exactly…" The virus' face suddenly turned serious, "Soon my function will be complete."

Mouse turned away, going back over to the window. She didn't want to think about that. Their time was running out.

"And what of it?"

"Once I have fulfilled my task I will no longer need this physical form, Mouse. I will become one with the net, as things were meant to be." Daemon placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. Mouse immediately shook it off, spinning around in anger.

"Forget about your function then!"

"I must bring unity to the net."

"Screw the net."

"I cannot go against my programming. Mouse, you must understand-"

"I understand just fine- you're choosing the will of the User over me."

Mouse instantly regretted her words, even though they were true. She examined Daemon's face carefully. She watched her expression, searching for anything that said she was hurt, or angry, or sad. Nothing. Two blank eyes stared back at her. Mouse balled her fists in frustration.

"... The User made me this way for a reason. If I wasn't the virus I am, we likely would have never crossed paths." Daemon paused before continuing. "If only I could feel the things you feel. The look in your eyes now… So much passion. I am honoured that you care for me the way you do. My only wish is that I could feel something like that too…"

Beneath Daemon's calm demeanor was a silent anguish, one only Mouse could see.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." She tried to apologize.

Daemon smiled. Mouse knew that she didn't need to apologize. Daemon would always forgive her.

"We must move forward with plans," Daemon continued, "Do you have the blue prints?"

"Hex has them. Luckily she nabbed them when she did, the Tor is ancient history now."

"And the machine works?"

"Heck if I know, you'd have to ask Hexadecimal about that."

"You rang!" Hexadecimal materialized in front of them, striking a dramatic pose. In her hands were the blueprints for Megabyte's machine. She handed them over to Daemon, taking a bow.

"Excellent," Daemon smiled, "And the machine?"

"Fully functional."

"So what's the next step?" Mouse asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Hex tilted her head to the side, "we build our own machine, but make it better."

"Better how?"

"What's even stronger than game sprite energy?"

Daemon and Mouse looked at each other. They both knew the answer but didn't want to say it out loud.

"Viral energy." Hex spoke with a wicked smile.

"And who exactly is going to be the power supply?" Mouse asked, instinctively stepping in front of Daemon.

"Me, of course."

"You?" Mouse relaxed a little.

"This mask is hiding more than just a pretty face." Hex tapped the edge of her mask with long, black nails, "I have an infinite amount of energy stored in here."

"It's too risky. We should get someone else, someone disposable."

"We have to act now. I am willing to bear the risk."

"She is right," Daemon said, looking down at the blue prints. "Let us not squander this opportunity."

"We also shouldn't rush into things."

"How long will it take?" Hex said motioning towards the plans in Daemon's hands.

"A day, maybe two at most."

"Perfect! I'll check in on you tomorrow then and see how things are progressing."

"Until tomorrow, then."

Hex vanished in an instant.

Mouse crossed her arms, fully aware that her concerns were being ignored. She watched as Daemon walked over to the window, carefully unlocking it. She pushed one side open and held out her hand. She held between her fingers what looked like a dandelion. Each of the fibers glowed a soft purple.

"What are you doing?" Mouse inquired.

"Mainframe will be the first system to hear the word."

Daemon gently blew, sending the glowing seeds out the window. Mouse had seen her do something similar once before. They both watched as the purple dots danced through the web, heading to their destination. Those innocent little seeds would disconnect Mainframe from the rest of the web, creating a large containment field around the system. No one would be able to log in or out.

Daemon looked at the blueprints once again and smiled.

At the end of the day Daemon was the virus in charge and whatever she wanted she would get. Mouse walked off, leaving Daemon to do her work.

"Are all viruses insane?" She muttered to herself.

Even more concerning than the timeline for their plan was Hexadecimal's chipper demeanor. It was almost as if her brother hadn't just gotten nullified. Regardless, Mouse knew she was along for the ride whether she wanted to be or not. Much was uncertain, but the only thing Mouse knew for sure; with Daemon and Hex working together, Mainframe didn't stand a chance.

# #

Dot walked down the hallway. Being the command..com always came with challenges, the stakes were always high. She could talk in front of large crowds, diplomats, revered scientists, all with little effort. Still, she found herself at a loss for words. As she stopped in front of Matrix's apartment she had no idea what to say. What could she say? She couldn't help but feel partly responsible for everything. Matrix didn't even want to open a diner at first, she pushed him into it. Dot wasn't just nervous, she was terrified. If her brother said he never wanted to see her again he'd have every right.

She took a deep breath and knocked. As she waited she wondered what awaited her. Knowing Matrix he would probably yell at her, he would definitely be angry. Maybe he wouldn't say anything at all and slam the door in her face. She knocked again, this time a little louder. Dot just wanted to get it over with. She should apologize. It wasn't something she enjoyed doing, but she had to. Would an apology even be enough?

"Matrix, it's me." She said.

No response.

"...I'll come back later."

Dot started to walk away, but then paused. She had to at least check on him to make sure he was ok, even if he didn't want to talk to her.

Dot went back over to the door, pulling out a key card. She was the only sprite in Mainframe who he trusted with spare keys privileges. Dot was a busy woman, so Matrix was confident that she wouldn't come over unannounced.

Once the door unlocked she pushed and it swung open. Dot gasped after seeing the state of the apartment. It looked as if a tornado had passed through. She carefully stepped over what looked like a leg of a chair. The glass of every picture she passed was broken, and the ones that were still on the wall hung crooked. Shards of glass and broken wood littered the floor. The deeper she ventured the more worried she became.

Every cupboard in the kitchen was open and bare. Every dish he owned was laying on the floor and counter in pieces. The chairs had all been reduced to splinters of wood. Even the dining table was flipped over.

Still she kept on going until she found the bedroom. Matrix lay curled up in bed, Frisket by his side. Dot walked over looking at them both, fast asleep. She stared at Frisket, glad that her brother wasn't completely alone. When he got a dog was a mystery to her, but she was glad regardless.

She sighed before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

A vidwindow popped up. Bob looked back at her.

"How are things going?"

"... I think I'm going to spend the night here, in case he needs anything."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea."

"All right… Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

She nodded, ending the call as she looked at the mess around her.

"All right," She said to herself, "let's get this place cleaned up."

End Log