A/N You guys are the best, I love the comments. Thank you so much. We ended with a hug, now what?
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She's not surprised when he pulls away, she's far more surprised that he held her as long as he did. He seems so outside his comfort zone, and yet his voice has a much softer edge than usual, "It'll be dark soon. Better get these dishes cleaned up n get back in the van."
She nods her agreement, "Okay."
They've seen something so horrible, so unbelievable and once inside he's restless and agitated. He sits on the edge of the bed, then he stands, then he sits, then he stands. He's alternating between chewing his lower lip and chewing the side of his thumb.
She tries to stay quiet, sitting on the toolbox and waiting for him to speak. Finally she can't hold it in any longer, she's devastated by what they witnessed, "How could they do that Daryl? It wasn't just dead people and walkers who were left in the city. There were still plenty of people, live people, citizens, just trying to figure out what to do and how to get out. It's so wrong, so unfair."
He sees the tears in her eyes and he doesn't fault her for being emotional. This is all so fucked up. But he comes from a different place than she does and maybe that's why what happened isn't quite as shocking to him. He's almost matter of fact when he comments, "Yeah, I know, but that's just it, ain't it? Seems like there wasn't much that was right or fair before the world ended. I guess we can't expect it ta get better now."
Oh my gosh, he's so cynical. It's just another thing that leads her to believe Daryl was the victim of some kind of cruelty.
They sit in silence for a few minutes and then he stands, gets a pack of the cigarettes, a book of matches and states, "I need a smoke. I won't be far."
"Okay, sure." She doesn't ask to go with him. She knows him better now. If he says he won't be far, he won't be far. She also understands how it is, sometimes a person just needs a little time in their own space.
She's been known to have strong opinions, and she knows she can be stubborn. However, when it comes to all of this…this…this what? This apocalypse? She has no idea what's best or what to do next. This is not the time to be prideful, and besides, she's sure this man is the key to her survival.
Whatever Daryl decides they should do, she's going along.
It's not just the practicality though. As rough and gruff as he can be, he's growing on her. She admires his strength and his raw physical ability that work so well with his shrewd cleverness. She appreciates his honesty and the fact that he is exactly who he appears to be, and although she's only known him briefly she feels certain she can trust him completely.
There's another truth, she doesn't want to be alone.
He's wearing out the ground pacing. He's full of adrenaline and there's nothing and no one to spend it on. Any thoughts he ever had of letting this woman try to make it to that farm on her own are long gone now. There's no way she'd survive and he can't send her off to die.
She got him in a weak moment and there was the crying and he made a promise he didn't want to make. He said he'd take her to that stupid farm. After what they saw tonight, now he thinks maybe that's a good thing. God only knows how he'd have reacted to what they saw if he was on his own.
Yeah, this farm thing is probably good. He has a task and he made a promise and he aims to complete the task and live up to the promise.
He doesn't admit to himself that having her need him and trust him is kind of a good feeling.
One cigarette leads to a second as he tries to decide what they should do next.
The problem will be getting passed the obstacles along the way. The chaos wasn't just in the city, it will be just as tough out here on the road, maybe tougher. There will be plenty of walkers, and maybe worse, plenty of living people making their own rules and willing to do whatever they have to do to survive.
Food. Food will be an issue. He's got to keep them both fed and that might get rough. There isn't always going to be the trunk of a dead person's car or a handy liquor store to raid, and they won't be the only ones scavenging for necessities. Shit.
One thing he's learned about her though, she's not helpless. Not like he thought she was at first. He saw the shiner coming up that she gave the young vato, he can't help smiling about it right now. And she was right, she can run, and drive, she didn't hesitate to mow right through those walkers at the storage joint.
It's up to him, it's his job to teach her the rest of it. She needs to learn to shoot the pistol, a rifle and even the crossbow. She needs to learn to track and to hunt. He'll have to show her what plants are safe to eat and which ones to stay away from.
She can probably teach him a few things too. Whatever those things are, he'll learn them.
He's been gone so long she's startled and lets out a little yelp when the van door begins to slide open, and she's got the gun pointed right at him.
She quickly lowers it and he snarls, "What the fuck? You gonna shoot me?"
She can't help herself. It's probably nerves, but she giggles. She's embarrassed by what happened but she's honest with him, "Well yes, you were gone forever and it's been so quiet. I didn't know for sure it was you, and you said shoot to kill."
Now he's smiling too, "I didn't mean me, but good job with the gun, and hell, I ain't even taught ya ta use the damn thing yet."
He takes his customary seat on the edge of the bed, "It is kinda weird not ta have all that city noise around, ain't it?" He doesn't wait for her answer, he draws in a breath and says, "If it stays quiet here, I say we wait another day or so before we move on. I'd like ta scout the area, maybe get us some fresh meat too. I'm gettin' sick of eatin' out of a can. Be nice ta have a change."
"That sounds good to me. If there's some water around maybe I can wash up. I'd give just about anything for a bath."
"Seems ta me there's a quarry about a mile or so north of here. We're sittin' on a hill above it. Maybe after we go huntin' in the mornin' we'll check it out. There's a little river too, not much more than a creek really, just to the east of us."
"That would be wonderful Daryl."
What he says next doesn't just startle her, it makes her feel sad and anxious. "I'ma grab the sleepin' bag. I'll sleep outside tonight."
"Daryl, don't. Please. That's not fair. I'll sleep on the floor and you take the bed."
"No. I told ya I ain't havin' you sleep on the floor. I ain't a complete asshole. Besides, I like sleepin' outside on the ground. I done it plenty in my life."
She'd like to hear a little about that life, she's more sure all the time that it wasn't easy. Then something completely unrelated suddenly dawns on her, "Oh my gosh Daryl, what about abuela? They dropped that stuff, oh my gosh, and your brother and maybe Amy."
Shit. "Don't get shook. Just cuz they dropped it that don't mean everyone who was there died. Abuela probably made it. As for my brother, he's survived worse shit than napalm, he's the last guy you should ever worry about. I swear Merle could fall in a big ol pile of pig shit and come out smellin' like a rose."
Then his voice softens, "Sorry 'bout your friend, but she could still be alright, we could still find her just like we could still run into Merle. Anymore, I don't know what the hell could happen and nuthin would surprise me."
As strongly as he believes it's ridiculous to hope they'll run into anyone they know, it's true that nothing seems impossible in this new world. Three weeks ago he would never have believed that today he'd be traveling around the countryside with a pretty blond farm girl and there'd be dead people running around eating live people.
He catches himself, but fuck, it's just the truth. She's pretty.
It would probably be smarter to sleep inside until he finds out more about what's going on in this place, but it doesn't feel like a good idea, laying there so close to her. He's gruff again as he slides the door open and practically barks, "Get some sleep now, we're gettin' up early ta hunt."
For the millionth time she wants to respond, "yessir." Instead she simply says, "I'll be ready."
It's been another day filled with so many horrible things. Having to escape the storage unit, oh my gosh she'll never get over the sound it made when she hit those walkers with the van. Or how she just kept driving like it was no big deal, like that's the person she is. Maybe that's just who she is now.
The vatos. Maybe she's giving them too much grace, but she doesn't really believe they planned to hurt her. It seemed like maybe they were trying to do a good thing, taking care of the elderly. They were desperate for supplies. All that may be true, but she was never as glad to see anyone in her life as she was to see her rough and grouchy warrior.
More and more that little kernel of tenderness that lives somewhere deep within him is showing itself, even though she's sure he does his darndest to keep it buried.
This place they're making camp is such a pleasant change. The calm, the trees, the fresh air and the quiet. A can of chili would not be her go-to dinner, but sharing it outside with him made it seem special, until the unthinkable happened.
That felt like it for her, the final blow and undeniable proof the world as they know it really has ended, and it won't ever return. She's going to have to learn everything she can about survival, and she's hoping her warrior will be the one to teach her. Her warrior? Not hardly. She doubts that man has ever or will ever belong to anyone. Still, she can't help wondering about what kind of woman a man like Daryl finds attractive.
Knock it off and get some sleep Beth. Tomorrow is your first big lesson in survival. Finding and killing your next meal.
He got used to having that bed to sleep on, he's spoiled now. Damn if this ground doesn't feel even harder than the floor of the van. He's going to have to get used it though. It's better that he's out here, it's the right thing to do. But fuck, if that's true, then why does it seem all wrong?
She wakes to the sound of his voice, "Hey, time ta get up. There's coffee n I got ya out one a them granola things. We gotta get movin' if we're gonna get some game."
She forces her eyes open and gets herself to a seated position, "Alright, I'm up."
Her curls are all over the damn place and those big blue eyes are only at half-mast, and damn she…well he tries hard not to look or think.
He hands her the tin coffee cup and the granola bar and she almost laughs, my gosh, it's the Daryl version of serving her breakfast in bed. She won't be sharing that joke with him.
He pulls the bottom draw all the way out on the floor, reaches deep inside where it was and retrieves a rifle. She can't help but remark, "My goodness Daryl, you have weapons hidden everywhere."
He snickers and shrugs, "It's just my huntin' gear. I never bothered ta hide it all before, not til the whole world, includin' me, got desperate and started stealin' stuff." That does make sense.
He locks up the van, cuts some tree branches and tries to make the vehicle a little less obvious, while hoping to God they don't run into any people living or dead.
Beth is carrying the rifle but he told her, "Don't even think about tryin' ta shoot sumthin. Ya need ta learn the right way ta use a gun like that so ya don't hurt yourself. Today you're carryin' it around ta get used ta the weight and the feel. Stay close ta me, but not too close, walk a few feet behind me and ta my left. I wanna be able ta see ya in my peripheral vision and keep ya outta the way of my shootin' arm."
"Don't talk unless ya see sumthin' I need ta see, then try and keep it at a whisper. Keep you're footfalls as light as ya can, like you're sneakin' up on sumthin'. That's pretty much what we're doin', sneakin' up on sumthin."
He's telling her many of the things Merle told him back when he was just a little kid.
"I'll do my best."
"Animals like ta have sumthin' ta drink in the mornin', just like people. There's always sumthin' for em ta eat growin' by a river too. That's why we're headin that way."
It makes perfect sense.
He nods, and they begin a slow deliberate walk in the darkness toward the east and the river. She's doing good keeping up and keeping quiet. Holding up too. He wouldn't have worried about her endurance, not if she wasn't carrying the heavy rifle. A person, especially a small person like her, can get more tired carrying something heavy. She's not complaining though. She's not the kind.
Plus she insisted on bringing her backpack, he didn't question her but he thinks it's because she's hoping for that bath. He could probably use one too. He's lost track of when he had his last shower.
Daylight is just breaking when they get to the water's edge. He holds a finger to his lips indicating she should stay quiet, she does. They walk slowly, following the bend in the river, and then he spots the small herd. He looks to her, points and she smiles and nods. Again he holds his finger to his lips and then slips the already cocked and loaded crossbow off his back.
She watches the arrow fly and there's a distinct thump when it hits it's target. The animal has not even hit the ground when the other deer scatter and disappear. Daryl looks over his shoulder and says, "C'mon, this is when the real work begins."
They kneel in front of the animal and she's a little surprised when Daryl rubs a hand over it's back, like he's petting it. He pulls the arrow, examines it and says, "Might try ta save this." Then he gets that tone, his professor Dixon no-nonsense tone and says, "A'ight, this part's the worst, but if ya don't do it, and ya don't do it right, the meat will get tainted."
She nods and what he says and does next almost makes her throw up, "Ya gotta kneel behind it, hold up the tail and cut a ring, like you're corin' an apple, a couple inches deep through the hide around the butthole." He can't possibly be serious, but then he's not much of a joker and he keeps explaining, "Slide your knife deeper into the canal there n retrace the coring cuts ta slice the membranes, and free them last few inches of colon. Ya gotta be careful not ta puncture it. We don't want what's in that ta get on our meat."
He can see the reluctance written all over her face, she also looks a little pale and shaky. He could just do it for her, but what good would that do? She's gotta learn, "The faster ya get this part and the guttin' done, the better that meat is gonna taste." Then he admits, "I know it's gross for ya, but it's part a what ya gotta know if you're gonna survive."
He's right of course, and she tries very hard not to think about what's happening while she does what he said. She gags a couple of times and he tries to make her feel a little better, "I know it's nasty. First time I done it I's about nine or ten. I busted that colon open, shit went everywhere and I started pukin'. My ol' man was so pissed he beat the shit outta me while I was still pukin'."
Oh my gawd. This big, strong and brave man is a victim of child abuse. That explains a few things.
When the task is complete he says, "Ya did damn good. You're like all precision n everythin'. Nice. Now, I'ma hold the legs while you cut him open n we get the guts out. This ain't fun either, and it stinks and you ain't gonna like it, but it won't take long n then we can wash up, k?"
He knows she's suffering through this but she nods and says, "Yes, okay, I'm ready."
Her Daddy and her brother and the neighbor man Otis, they all went hunting plenty of times, but when they got home with their kill all this nasty part had already been done.
That's okay, she's ready, and besides, for some reason it feels so important to show Daryl she can do this.
"A'ight, now, like I said, I'ma be right here holdin' his legs open an I'll walk ya through it one step at a time while ya gut it and bleed it, k?"
"Okay."
She does pretty good until the intestines spill out and the smell hits her nose. She begins to gag again and he can't help himself, he offers, "That's enough for today, here, lemme finish it up."
"No Daryl. I need to learn. If I throw up I'll try to be sure it's not on the meat, or on you." She smiles and he smiles and dammit, he's impressed.
Oh how badly she wanted to let him do it, but she wants to prove to him and to herself she doesn't need him to.
There's something else he can't believe; all this blood and guts haven't attracted any dead ones. Maybe they haven't made it this far yet.
When the gutting is done he adds one last thing, "We're gonna prop the body cavity open with this stick. That'll help cool the meat down."
She's covered with blood and he's got a fair share on him. She asks, "Can we wash up before we go back to camp?"
"I think ya earned it."
She took everything out of her backpack at the van, she's got just what she needs. The bar of soap she scavenged, her hairbrush, a clean pair of panties and a clean t-shirt. She knows the water is going to be freezing, that's okay, she can't wait.
He has rules about this too, but she trusts him and she listens. "I know it don't seem big or rough, but there's a pretty strong current. Ya stay in this shallow pool here, the water's still movin' so it's clean. I'ma be down river a few yards, if ya hear or see anythin', anythin' at all that scares ya or makes ya nervous, ya scream like hell. I'll be here. And keep that knife handy."
"Yes, okay, I'll be careful." She's so happy to get to wash she doesn't even worry about getting naked, although she doesn't strip down completely. Not at first. She leaves her bra and panties on, washes, and then strips them off. They're washed now too, and she washes again."
There are just two problems, no shampoo, the bar of soap has to be enough, and there's no towel. That's okay, although she has goosebumps at least the sun is out and she feels so much better.
He never meant to look that way, his eyes just seem to naturally drift toward her. The sun behind her creates a silhouette of her naked body as she steps from the water and he quickly turns. His neck and face feel hot and he feels the pressure of guilt, and there are some other things he's feeling too. He pushes those things down as best he can.
She's standing there shivering, just about to slip the clean panties on when without thinking her eyes glance downstream. He's standing with his back to her and the sight is both beautiful and horrifying. His body is sculpted and strong, almost perfection. What spoils the perfection are the scars on his back and his butt. They tell such an ugly story. What he said earlier about his Dad beating him, oh my gosh, the man must have done it many, many times. She turns away in sadness, tears filling her eyes.
The bathing is done and the lesson resumes. He tells her, "If you're by yourself, ya get a thick branch then ya tie your rope around the animal's legs or neck, wrap n tie the other end around your branch and drag him back home. For now, since ya done all the other work, I'll carry him." She watches in amazement as he effortlessly picks the animal up and drapes him across his broad shoulders. Wow.
When they get back to camp he explains, "If it was before, I'd be hangin' the thing up for a few days ta help tenderize the meat, but now, I'ma skin it and do some butcherin'. You just watch this part. It's best ta see it done, then next time it's your turn, k?"
"Okay, good." They both smile again and she likes that, it's…well it's kind of like they're becoming friends. Just yesterday she would have never thought that could happen.
"The backstraps are the prize. If it was a cow you'd be callin' those filet mignon. I'ma take the best cuts. Meat for today and tomorrow, we'll cook all that we're keepin' today. After tomorrow none of it's gonna be any good anymore, it's too hot out and we can't risk eatin' it. I'll drag it off."
"That's a shame, it's so much waste."
"Nah, it won't go ta waste. Birds, animals, worms, they'll eat what's left. Nature don't let anything go ta waste. Besides, we're gonna have us a fancy meal right now. We're havin' filet mignon and I got a potato we can roast in the fire, there's a can of green beans too. First class all the way!"
He makes her laugh and she says, "Okay, let's do it. I'll build the fire while you cut the meat."
She doesn't really think that after all she did and what she saw with this animal, she's going to be able to eat it. Then he starts to cook and it smells so good and she's so hungry, and when she takes that first bite my gosh, it's delicious. He nods to her, "Tastes better when ya get it yourself, don't it?"
It's as they enjoy the fancy meal that things shift a little, he drops some reality. "Ya know, we been doin' good for food. We've had all we want. Coffee, milk, fresh meat, but it ain't gonna always be that way Beth. We can't just drive right ta the farm, it's gonna be a long road. It could get tough out there. I ain't tellin' ya that ta scare ya, I'm just sayin' that, shit I don't know what I'm sayin'. The world's fucked up."
"It is, but I have faith in you Daryl."
Faith. Shit, he knows she's being nice, but that puts more pressure on.
They clean up their mess and their dishes. He hauls the deer carcass off and she stores the meat they saved in the coolest spot in the van.
He returns and he looks like a little boy when he asks, "Where'd ya stash them Snickers?"
"I'll get you one." She turns that way, then turns back and asks, "Is it okay if I have a Butterfinger?"
His forehead creases as his brows furrow and he sounds so gruff again, "Ya ain't gotta ask me. Ya got as much right ta the food as I do. Ya take what ya want and don't ever ask again."
Yessir is right on the tip of her tongue, "Okay." But that soft spot she has for him just grew a little.
They're like a couple of kids as they enjoy the half-melted candy. Then he asks "If ya ain't too tired, we could walk ta that quarry, see what's going on there. Wanna?"
"Oh I do. Let's."
"Alright. I'll carry the rifle this time, you wear the binoculars."
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A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you'll leave a comment. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please have a look. I'll be back next Thursday with more of Love's Long Road, I hope you'll be here too. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee
