Welcome back to TDWT Vol 2! It's currently December 17th, so let's see how long I can keep this going. I'm jumbling through who should be on the Aftermath panel and I definitely think that Duncan and Shawn will be brought onto the panel. I hope this episode does well, I saw that I shouldn't have tried to push so many plots and honestly, yea. You just get so many good ideas and you never want to cut any out. Without further ado, enjoy the episode!
The episode opened in first class, where the camera panned over the relaxing teams, patiently and calmly enjoying their time before having to push themselves to their limits to get another week of immunity towards 1 million dollars.
Trent was seen tuning his guitar, working on Beautiful Crazy by Luke Combs. The chords and strum pattern emulated the song pretty well, until the D/F# chord was played a bit too hard, and caused a string to dislodge itself from Trent's guitar.
"Bastard." the musician muttered, searching for his case for another string.
"Need some help Trent?" asked Sammy, sounding happier than she ever had on the show.
"Nah, I got this thanks. This guitar's just so old, and I get a little too... strong with my strums occasionally." Trent explained, causing Sammy to blush.
"Forget your own strength kind of thing?" the nice twin questioned.
"I guess so. It's whatever though, I'm just glad to have something to occupy myself this time around. Being on the Aftermath and having to watch Gwen and Duncan hook up last season was not my favorite thing I've ever done," Trent drawled, finally fixing his string and getting the sound to ring out perfectly. "Much better."
CONFESSIONAL: Sammy
The nice twin was an Inferno-red, her face burning brighter than her leotard. "Look, I'm not saying I like Trent," she lied through her teeth, her face somehow getting redder. "Ok maybe I do! No one's ever treated me like a person before besides Jasmine. I don't want to try and get with someone during the competition cuz it seems like that never works out but..." Sammy trailed off, looking out the confessional window and letting out a small whimper.
END CONFESSIONAL
Back in loser class, Lightning was in another intense match with Brick. Lightning drove towards the mini-hoop, retracted his dribble, and began sizing Brick up. Brick honed on Lightning, not giving him an inch of separation. Lightning took a step back and pumped, baiting Brick forward for a block. Brick took it, which Lightning seized on by coming back down, throwing the ball off the backboard of the hoop, careening the ball off the glass and going up to the rim for a 360-windmill dunk. Lightning slammed it home and let out a bellowing shout.
"OHHHHHH! LIGHTNING WINS AGAIN!"
"That was a travel!" Brick protested.
"Sha-please," he retorted, rolling his eyes. "Throwing the ball off the backboard doesn't count as a dribble or nothin, it's just a sha-move."
"Oh," replied a surprised Brick, "My mistake. Good match soldier!"
The boys' match was much to the chagrin of one tan lady, awoken from her sleep and sporting the look of an enraged bull.
"God would you two put a SOCK IN IT?!" Courtney shouted, her voice growing louder with each word.
"Oh lord, her Bitch-ometer is goin' off the charts again." Leshawna rolled her eyes and smirked at the boys. "Don't worry hunnies, she's just mad she don't have Alejandro or Duncan to do the smoochy smoochies with." the brash woman mocked, doing a kissy-face at Courtney.
The cabin erupted with laughter, ranging from hushed laughter by Ella to all-out bellowing laughter by Owen. Courtney stormed off without a word, no one bothering to follow her.
"Man am I sick of her bitching!" Leshawna moaned, stretching out across a still chuckling Owen.
"It's been a day, Leshawna. Knowing Courtney she'll find a way to stick around longer than you." Noah put grimly.
"And what makes you so confident about that, stringbean?" the ghetto girl retorted.
"Because she managed to outlast both of us in Action and the last time we got globally tortured by Chris in this death trap." Gwen chimed in, an air of resentment in her voice.
"WHAT-EVA! As far as I'm concerned, she's gone the next time we lose. G-O-N-E GONE!" Leshawna shouted.
"SHA-please!" Lightning screamed back from across the room. "With sha-Lightning on the team, we ain't never gonna lose! Sha-never ever!"
"Thanks, I feel relieved." Noah deadpanned, rolling his eyes and returning to his novel.
CONFESSIONAL: Courtney
Courtney angrily tapped her foot in place, staring down at her feet with a glare that could melt flesh. "Stupid game! Stupid team! Stupid stupid STUPID!" she screamed as she refixed her gaze from the floor to the window, a slight frown strewn across her face.
END CONFESSIONAL
The speaker boomed to life, deafening those in loser class and causing Brick's shot to ricochet into Gwen's face.
"TOP OF THE MORNIN' LADDIES!" Chris bellowed in a horrid Irish accent. "REPORT TO THE PUB PRONTO!"
At the "pub", or the cafeteria as the contestants regularly knew it, bar peanuts and bowls of Fortunate Objects were adorned at every table while a TV in the center of the tables was playing a match of rugby on it.
"O'Hallaran's finest, dontcha say?" continued Chris in his atrocious accent.
"You call that an Irish accent laddy?" Sam questioned, in an incredibly convincing accent. "THIS is an Irish accent!"
Chris sighed. "Okay, Sam ruined my fun. I think you guys can tell with the themery we have going here that today's challenge is going to take place in the Gaelic land of Ireland. Home to many hobbies including drinking and..." Chris took a long pause, a blank expression appearing on his face. "... this destination will be an excellent stop for our cast of barely-of-age teenagers. Since the drinking age in Ireland is 18 and all, that means we can get the lot of you piss-drunk for this leg of the competish."
"Yes, because you, a 30-something year old man, getting 18 18 year olds drunk on national television is a STELLAR idea." Noah sarcastically shot back.
"You guys keep ruining my fun!" Chris said with a sigh and humph. "No, I'm not ACTUALLY getting you guys drunk. We wouldn't be able to air this in some countries if I did. No no no, no drunken escapades. But I'll reveal no more. Chef?" Chris asked as he stepped back into the elimination room, as the floor opened up in the cafeteria and the contestants plummeted down into a life-size box of Fortunate Objects.
The camera faded into a farm, where Chris was standing in a rather modernized version of a "traditional" Irish farmer get-up. In the farm was a bevvy of potatoes with a farmland covered in rabbit holes separating the Host with the Most from the contestants.
"Welcome contestants!" the host boomed through a megaphone. "In an homage to our season 1 game of dodgeball, our season 3 pre-challenge of gourd-smashing in Africa, and our season 4 Obsta-kill course, we're going to have a qualifying round challenge! Rules for this challenge are simple: Each team will line up where you're standing right now and race through the farm, grabbing as many potatoes from the center pile as you can, and cross the red finish line where I'm standing. While you're racing, myself, Chef, and your opponents will be launching classic Irish props and foods at you while you attempt to cross. If you drop all your potatoes, you're out and can't compete to help your team win immunity. You'll rotate through in the order you lost last time, so team Chaos will start, Omega will help Chef and I fire shit at you, and Inferno will watch. Places people!"
At the starting line, Chaos was lined up with everyone except their gargantuan leader having fear and anxiousness painted across their face. Chris, Ella, Gwen, and Leshawna were lined up on one side while Lightning, Owen, Noah, and Chef were on the other, with Courtney perched atop a silo behind the finish line with a sniper rifle of sorts. Inferno simply stood on the other end, with the lazier players like Lindsay and Sammy choosing to relax while the more strategic among them like Sky and Scott were watching both the attackers and defenders to come up with a strategy.
"Chris?" the songbird piped up for what seemed like the first time all competition, "must we shoot them? Surely we don't need to be violent."
"Do you want to win a million dollars Ella?" Chris questioned.
"Yes bu-"
"Do you want your team to vote you out for not helping?"
"No, howev-"
"Then shut it!"
Leshawna leaned in on a sulking Ella. "Don't worry about Chrissy over there, okay hun? Just think of it like you're tossing stuff into their arms."
Ella perked up from hearing this new take on her situation. "So it's as if I'm giving them gifts?"
"Now you got it sugar." Leshawna smirked.
"So how exactly do these things work?" Noah questioned Chef, who was holding it like an assault rifle.
Without a word, Chef fired 3 shots at an intern, one in the head and two in the stomach. The boy setting up hazards was knocked down and retching could be heard as Noah looked on in shock.
"Noted." The bookworm stated.
At the starting line, there was some semblance of a plan.
"Alright soldiers!" Brick shout out. "What we should do is run in a scattering pattern towards the potatoes, have Jasmine grab as many as possible, and then guard her as we break for the finish line!"
"I like that idea, eh!" Zeke added, removing his toque and handing it to the Aussie. "You can use my beanie to collect potatoes in, to carry more eh?"
Jas was stunned and impressed. For her, a team of dead weight and Brick could come up with such a good idea, it was inane. "Smart idea, Zeke!"
Dave chose not to add anything to the plan, instead looking ahead at the course he soon had to face. He noted the rabbit holes and saw some had something in them.
"Great." He sighed. "Another one of Chris' brilliant rating-boosting ideas."
"What was that Dave?" Jasmine questioned.
"Nothing, let's just get going."
CONFESSIONAL: Dave
"Is it dumb to not tell Jasmine and the others what's ahead on the course?" Dave asked as he stared into the camera. "Probably, yea. I just-" He paused and looked at the door. "This stuff with Sky is really bogging me down. I'm not sure I wanna compete anymore."
END CONFESSIONAL
Chris, despite having all the contestants within 100 feet of each other, still whipped out his trusty megaphone.
"Alright!" He exclaimed, the loud shock sending Owen to the ground screaming. "Team Chaos is up!"
The boys formed a wall around Jasmine, who had her hat and Ezekiel's toque in each hand.
"3, 2, 2, 2, twooooooooooooooooooooo"
...
...
"onego!"
Dramatic music flared as the wall of men pushed through the assault of life-sized Fortunate Objects, giant crosses, sugar glass beer bottles, and other assorted Irish foods were hurled their way, simultaneously avoiding the rabbit holes.
"This is easy!" The gameboy exclaimed, running and jumping with video game sound effects in tow. As he strode ahead, Courtney nailed him in the face with a rotten potato, sending him down into a rabbit hole with his lower half sticking out and muffled shouts coming from below the earth.
The group kept running as Zeke tripped into a rabbit hole of his own, quickly being blasted back to the starting line with a shriek.
Chris came back on the megaphone to announce to the contestants. "OH, DID I FAIL TO MENTION THAT THERE ARE SOME MILD EXPLOSIVES AND OTHER BOOBY TRAPS IN THE RABBIT HOLES? SORRY!" His sadistic laugh echoing out as Zeke massaged his temples back at the start.
Objects continued to whiz by as Brick, Dave, and Jasmine reached the center. Jasmine started filling the hats with potatoes while the boys stand around her, using their bodies to guard her and let Zeke try and catch up.
A trail of dirt formed as Sam pops up from one of the rabbit holes. He loudly exclaims "GUYS THESE HOLES ARE TUNNELS!" as he scurried back underneath, popping up occasionally to draw fire.
"Full!" Jasmine shouts out as she starts running. "Move move move!" she bellowed back at the guys, Dave and Brick following close behind her and Zeke still lagging significantly behind.
Hazards kept flying by, a giant Shamrock flung like a frisbee from Owen leveling Brick and a rotten carrot from Noah landing in front of Dave, causing the germaphobe to freak out and run towards the finish line.
"Dave qualifies for the next round!" Chris announced.
"Wait a minute, why does Dave qualify if he didn't carry any potatoes over?" Sky asked, anger seeping from her voice.
"Because, Sky!" Chris griped. "You don't need to be carrying any potatoes to qualify. You only need to have a stash of potatoes and cross the line before I call time."
Dave shot a look of apprehension towards the host. "Why didn't you tell us this before we started?"
"Cuz I didn't have to." Chris brushed him off with an eye roll. "You better hope more people qualify, bro."
As if on cue, Sam re-appeared from beneath the dirt in a bunny-hole half-on the finish line, half-off it. The gamer boy was met with a rugby ball to the face courtesy of Chef's rifle, flailing and letting out a loud "oomph" as he crossed over.
"You guys have 10 seconds to cross over!" Chris echoed out over the farm. "If you don't have any potatoes, you're kinda SOL."
Jasmine raced on with Brick mere steps in front of her.
"Incoming!" The cadet screamed as he blocked a Leprechaun's shoe, taking it straight to the face.
Despite saving Jasmine from Gwen's lob, Brick couldn't stop a bowler hat from Ella from landing right on Ezekiel's toque. The shock from the impact caused Jas to drop the hat as she dashed to the finish.
Chris surveyed the scene of chaos he created, appearing impressed. "Time! That's an Australian hat full of potatoes for team Chaos. Unfortunately,"
The camera cut to a collapsed Zeke at the potato pile "both Ezekiel,"
"and Brick," who was reaching towards the line but hung his head in shame.
"... won't be competing in the next round. Rotate!"
Inferno took over the guarding duties, while Omega stepped up to the plate and Chaos took a rest. Trent, Sammy, and Chef took one side while Dawn, Lindsay, and Sky took another, Scott opting to take the grain silo sniper position.
"Ah, I haven't had a weapon like this since back on the farm." Scott pondered, admiring his rifle that he specifically loaded with dirt. "Hey I thought you weren't allowed this type of firepower cuz of your prison sentencing or whatever?"
"They never said I couldn't use guns," Chris interjected, "they just said I couldn't do anything that particularly put your lives in danger. Dirt from an airsoft gun doesn't fall in that category."
Sammy stood by Trent, looking over at the arsenal they were provided.
"Any strategy for dealing with the runners?" The musician asked Sammy, tossing a Leprechaun hat from hand to hand.
Sammy's face flushed, but picked up a beer bottle nonetheless. "Aim at their feet so they trip and fall in the rabbit holes. If Chris said they're full of traps, we could use that to our advantage."
Chef, eavesdropping on the conversation, had a look of impression along his face. "Damn girl, didn't know you had that sort of strategicness to ya."
"Oh well," Sammy monologued, "You pick up a thing or two being sisters with Amy," smiling as she said it.
"Mhm, I like a mean streak in a girl," Trent smirked at her.
Chef rolled his eyes and continued playing with his gun. "Man, that worked out great last time, didn't it?" He asked, looking over at Gwen at the starting line who was brushing her hair over her ear.
"Shut it Chef," Trent snapped, venom on his tongue, "why do you care all of a sudden?"
"I don't man," he snickered, aiming down the sights of his gun, "You pick up a thing or two hosting with Chris," sadistically grinning and laughing at the teens.
"Ever the cynic," Noah drawled from the starting line, feigning stretching and warming up.
"Yo Noah!" Lightning shouted to the skinny boy, the former actually preparing for some physical exertion. "What's a sha-cynic?"
"Gwen," Courtney said in passing.
"There she go again," Leshawna muttered to herself, pulling her arms across her chest to stretch.
"Don't worry," Gwen assured her, with an unusual amount of cheeriness in her voice, "I can handle my own battles. But thanks for standing up for me."
"Girl please, she's reminding me of Heather in all the wrong ways."
CONFESSIONAL: Leshawna
"Also known as every way!" Leshawna put sharply. "I don't care about Gwen and Courtney's 'boy problems', quite frankly. I just want Courtney gone. It's like Heather all over again, and MAN am I not looking forward to another season of that bullshit, no thank you. Maybe I could convince Noah and Owen to give Court the ol' heave ho next time we lose, who knows." she trailed off, laughing lightly as the camera cut to static.
END CONFESSIONAL
"Are you ready to ruuuuuumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" Chris exclaimed at the finish line.
"Sha-yeah baby!" Lightning yelled back to the host, followed by a chorus of war cries from the mega jock.
"On your marks," the camera cut to an excited Lightning and a determined Courtney,
"Get set," past a nervous Ella and an annoyed Gwen,
"Almost there..," over to a dull-looking Noah, jovial Owen, and a take-no-prisoners Leshawna.
"GO!"
The members of Omega each took their own routes, Owen bull-rushing with Noah following, acting as the Remy to his Linguini.
"Left!" Noah called out to his big boy, swerving to avoid a flying pumpkin.
"Right!" Owen instantly weaved right, another Celtic cross soaring past his head.
Noah watched the cross go by, laughed to himself, and then shrieked, "Dead ahead!"
"What?" Big O asked but before he received an answer from Noah, a can of carrots nailed him in the face, causing Owen to collapse and Noah to be flung from his back and into a rabbit hole.
Noah spent a whopping 3 seconds in the hole before being punched out by a boxing glove and being sent back, crashing into Lightning with a groan.
"Psh, you call that a hit?" Lightning peeled the bookworm off him, "I'll show you a sha-hit!"
Sky whirled a Gaelic football at Lightning who caught it, planted his feet, and threw a perfect fastball into Sky's face, flooring her and also Lindsay in a domino effect.
"Sha-boom!" Lightning hollered, pride etched on his face, "Lightning is on the move, sha-woo!"
He pulled off a somersault over exploding rabbit holes, dodging more flying Irish props, and finally landed at the potato pile, scooping up a pile with a signature "sha-yoink!"
"Y'know," Gwen called out Leshawna, ducking rotten yams, "I really am starting to miss having Heather to blame!"
"Feel ya girl!" Leshawna returned, taking a Fortunate Object to the chest, "Oomph!" She collapsed to one knee, her eyes a spell of confusion, "What is Ella doing?"
"Oh nothing new," The songbird sang as birds hovered her through the impending danger, "This is how I was able to survive Pahkitew Island."
Lightning, who had already arrived at the potato pile and was forming rugby balls of potatoes under his arms, looked up at her in amazement.
CONFESSIONAL: Lightning
"Sha-dang man!" Lightning complained, a puzzled look on his face, "What is with all the weirdos here man? Creepy Girl's cool in Lightning's book, don't get him wrong. But the Lightning does not understand what Singer Girl is sha-doin'!"
END CONFESSIONAL
"Ay Singer Girl!" Lightning called out to Ella, "Grab some of this rabbit food!"
"Oh yes," Ella sang to the uber jock, "Not a problem." Ella whistled out, more birds fluttering over to the pile and scooping up potatoes in their beaks and claws.
"We'll see you at the finish line team!" Ella called out to her team, continuing to float towards the finish with her avian allies.
Scott, staring through the lens of his sniper, pulled the gun away and rolled his eyes. "Cartoon nonsense," he scoffed, firing dirt from his gun and nailing one of Ella's bird in the face.
More shots rang out as a shot of Ella flying with her birds showed her birds being nailed one by one courtesy of Scott.
"Come here my sweet," Ella cried out for her final bird, outstretching her finger for the bird.
Before her feathered friend could reach her finger though, Scott called out from the heavens.
"BULLSEYE!" The dirt farmer exclaimed as Ella's final bird fell to the ground, its potato falling from its talons.
"Ella is out for the next round!" Chris hollered from the line, "But Lightning is in with a load of potatoes for Team Omega."
"Good sha-job, princess," Lightning mocked.
"Oh I'm sorry Lightning," Ella said with sorrow, "I didn't realize Scott was such an adept marksman."
"Now you're not even speaking sha-English," Lightning barked at her, storming off in a huff.
Courtney, in a display of ninja moves and artful dodging, weaved her way through the course, avoiding flying projectiles and exploding rabbit holes, all while snagging a handful of potatoes and crossing the finish line with ease to qualify.
"30 seconds left teens," Chris announced from the finish line, "you 4 better get a move on because this final challenge will require as many people as possible." Chris snickered.
"To hell with the potatoes," Leshawna snapped, booking it for the finish line, "I'm not gonna lose this challenge."
"Heard that!" Gwen called back to her brazen buddy, "You coming Noah?"
"No," The schemer grumbled from the dirt, "I'll take the DQ, thanks. We already have a numbers advantage."
Owen meanwhile appeared unconscious, however he was actually gnawing on the pile of potatoes numbly. "So *chew* good *chew*" Owen said between bites.
"Gwen and Leshawna qualify while,"
The camera panned over to Owen face-first in the potato pile with Noah reclining against it, glaring at the host, "Owen and Noah fail to qualify. Sucks to suck, suckers."
Courtney stalked up to Noah, apathy in her eyes, "Numbers advantage?" She air quoted, "Only 4 of us qualified for the next round!" the CIT screamed in his face, only receiving a sigh from Noah.
"We'll be fine, crazy-indignant-twat," Noah scorned, "You do realize that if the next challenge is in any way physical, which by the looks of it from running through an obstacle course full of defenders it will be, Owen and I would be useless anyways, right?"
"Book-nerd's got a point," Leshawna admitted, "He hardly even tried in the dodgeball challenge. And Owen isn't exactly the most,"
The camera showed Owen panting on the ground just from walking over, struggling to catch his breath.
"Athletic."
Courtney festered, but had no response for Leshawna's sound argument, "Fine." She put defeatedly, "But you're gone if we lose, clear?"
"Crystal." Noah said as he rolled his eyes and buried himself in his book.
Inferno lined up to the line, while Chaos took guarding duties and Omega took their rest. Chaos lined up with Chef, Jasmine, and Dave on the right while Brick, Sam, and Chris manned the right and Zeke took the silo, opting for a non-deadly bow and arrow rather than a rifle.
"Final team up," Chris called out over his megaphone, "Let's spice it up contestants! If at least 5 of you qualify, you'll have the numbers advantage heading into the final round. But remember," Chris warned, dropping his typical sadistic-happy tone when he announces the rules of a challenge, "snag those potatoes, cuz Lightning and Courtney pulled out a lot and Team Jasmine had a solid amount themselves."
"Alright team," Sky rallied her team in a circle, "We should have the fastest people go up the middle while-"
"Who died and made you boss?" Scott rudely interrupted, although no one sprang to Sky's defense.
"Who here made a finale?" Sky snapped back, everyone avoiding her gaze.
"You know I would've if it wasn't for that stupid indie chick," the farmer boy spat.
"Woah, calm down guys," Trent said trying to defuse the situation, "Sky," he turned his attention to the gymnast, "what's your plan?"
"Suck-up." Scott muttered quietly to himself.
"Thank you Trent," Sky commented, "Now, we should have the more athletic of us going for the potatoes while the," she paused, redirecting her attention to Lindsay and Dawn, Dawn enthralling Lindsay with tales of her aura, "less athletic should draw their fire."
"That ain't a half-bad plan," Scott admitted, "as long as I'm going for potatoes."
"I agree with your plan Sky," Dawn said, "but I have some concerns about your aura."
"My what?" Sky asked with a hint of snark in her voice.
"Your aura is volatile," the moonchild explained, "if you don't settle your feelings, it will doom you."
"Sh-sh-shut up, creep." Sky stammered as her face flushed.
"Hey, ease up on the girl," Trent pressed to Sky, "Dawn's only trying to help."
"Hehehe, ahh," Scott snickered, "You two are ADORABLE." he chided.
"I finished Scale!" Lindsay called out to Sky, waving a piece of paper at her.
"What are you talking about?" Sky asked the dumb blonde.
"I drew fire, look!" Lindsay cheerily responded. True to her word, there was a team Inferno logo on the paper.
"We're dead." Sky facepalmed.
"Oh no!" Lindsay cried out, "Does that mean we're ghosts? I don't wanna be a ghost."
CONFESSIONAL: Sky
Her face was buried in her hands, "Why, a team like this again, WHY?!"
END CONFESSIONAL
"Doomsday commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, oneeeeeeeee," Chris said through his megaphone, extending the ending of the one as long as he could, "Go!"
Sky instantly darted up the middle, deflecting hazards back at Brick and Sam while loading up on potatoes in under 10 seconds flat.
Lindsay ran on the right flank while Dawn ran behind her, exploding rabbit holes going off all around the duo of blondes.
"AHH!" Lindsay screamed, "This is even worse than the bike building challenge. I'm so scar-OMPH!" the blonde was cut off by an arrow from Zeke nailing her in the knee, knocking Lindsay face-first into a rabbit hole, followed by Dawn who tripped over the incapacitated Lindsay. As both blondes groaned in the hole, a geyser went off, sending Dawn flying back to the start while Lindsay nearly finished, being blasted just in front of the line.
"Ahaha, oh man." Chris maniacally laughed, "I love this show."
Scott reached the potato pile and crouched behind the pile to avoid incoming fire. "Hehehe, let's see how these dorks like the Scott-meister," he snickered, picking up a potato and rearing his hand all the way back. "Hope you like my home cooking!" the dirt farmer shouted as he flung his potato at Sam, slamming the gamer in the face and knocking him to the ground with a groan.
"Get behind me," Trent shouted to Sammy, with the nice twin obliging.
Trent deflected hazards left and right and he sprinted for the potato pile, until being halted with a "STOP!"
"Why am I stopping?" Trent asked, giving Sammy an incredulous look.
"Screw the potatoes, Sky and Scott are already there, let's just finish." she reasoned.
"But-"
"Trent, we don't ALL need potatoes. Sky and Scott will carry enough and Chris said we need the numbers. We HAVE to cross."
"But- fine."
"Wait!" Sky called out as Trent and Sammy passed her towards the finish, "Why aren't you grabbing any potatoes?"
"C'mon Dave," Jasmine encouraged the germaphobe, "nail Sky in the face mate! She's about to cross the line."
"I don't wanna." Dave moped, dropping his giant gold coin.
"Dave, mate, how is moping gonna help us win? Or impressive Sky?"
"Who cares what it does?" he snapped back intensely, "Who cares about this stupid game?"
"Alright Davey, what's the matter?" The amazonian asked with a surprising amount of sympathy.
"It's just," He paused, looking at Sky as she crossed the line, "My feelings for Sky are super complex. How can you attack someone you love, but hold back on someone you hate? Especially when they're the same person?"
"Look, I understand how that feels," she admitted, pulling out a Polaroid of her and Shawn, "Back when Shawn betrayed me cuz of Zomb-Amy, I found it hard to keep going. But I used his actions as motivation, and it worked out in the end for me anyways. You just need to use your feelings as your will to win, alright? Otherwise the others will think you're dead weight."
"I guess you're right," he tiredly agreed.
"You two better watch your backs," Chef warned as he chucked an Irish clog at Lindsay to prevent the blonde from crawling over the line.
"What're you getting at?" Jasmine questioned the cook.
"Well the way I see it, you two are the only ones on your team to have made a merge. Dontcha think that makes you a bit of a threat?"
"So?" Dave asked Chef.
"So," Chef snarkily told him, "you two are probably the next out if and when you guys lose again. Specifically, you." he pointed at the tall woman as punctuation.
"Me? I'm the most athletic player on my team, why would they vote out their strongest player?"
"I ain't sure," Chef admitted, "But I am sure it'll probably happen. Remember the Killer Bass? They booted Eva first, there's no reason your team won't do the same."
"So we're just supposed to let our team boot us when we lose next?" Jas incredulously grilled him.
"I didn't say that," Chef snapped at her, "I'm saying you two should stick together."
"I'm down if you are," Dave suggested.
"Fine, but only until the team merge," Jasmine reluctantly agreed, "and don't even think if we have to go head-to-head that I'll hold back on you."
"Okay," Dave agreed.
"Time!" Chris called from his megaphone, "While Chef was distracting you all with his strategic talk," the host shot a glare towards the cook and co-host, "Sky, Trent, Sammy, and Scott all qualify while,"
The camera panned over to Dawn tending to Lindsay, who was covered in suction-cup arrows dazed right before the finish line, "Dawn and Lindsay fail to qualify."
"Alright, the losers can't compete in the second part of the challenge and may be the difference-maker," Chris snickered, looking over at the losers lined up, "Now, the second part of Irish challenge actually has nothing to do with specifically how many potatoes you got."
"What?!" Courtney screamed at Chris, "Then what was the point of the challenge?"
"The challenge had a point Courtney," Chris scolded, "and the point was to see which team would collect the most to see who got the best tool in the next challenge. The next challenge is to bring me a Leprechaun's pot of gold, a.k.a. nick a pot of gold from some famous Total Drama gingers: Harold, Izzy, and Rodney!" A flash showed each character in tacky leprechaun costumes. "Now, for the rewards. Team Omega, since you guys carried over the most potatoes, you earn a map that shows where each of them are. Team Inferno, for being in not-first, not-last purgatory, you win a compass that is polarized to track Izzy's neck chip. And Team Chaos, you had the least potatoes so you get diddly squat. Too bad, not very sad. Each ginger has a rainbow either painted or holographically projected to their pot of gold. And I should warn you, each ginger was allowed to set up their own defenses and tricks, to make it harder for you. Last team to present me with a gold pot from a ginger faces elimination. Qualifiers, you have 90 seconds to strategize while losers, you can take a seat on those bleachers and watch your team succeed or squander."
"Excuse me, how is Rodney a famous ginger?" Sky asked the host.
"He's not, but our most famous ginger," Chris pointed to Scott as he said it, "Is competing, so we had to bring back the only ginger we had left to make it a three-team challenge. Trust me, I'd rather see Scott come up with some trap than let Rod-loverboy have creative control. But it was either him or Scarlett and I can't afford any deaths or major injuries this competish. The producers are giving me a very short leash after Pahkitew."
"And rightly so!" Jasmine snapped at Chris.
"Anyways," Chris said as he avoided her gaze, "You're about to run out of time for planning, I'd suggest making a strategy, especially since you don't have any idea of where they are."
"How exactly is a compass to the psycho-hose beast an advantage?" Trent asked his group.
"At least we know where she is," Sammy pointed out, "Chaos doesn't even have a clue."
"Good enough for me, let's hustle!" Sky shouted, snatching the compass from Trent and sprinting off with her team members following.
"I say we should go for Harold," Courtney reasoned, "He's the weakest of the three and will be the easiest to take the gold from."
"Watch who you call weak, Court," Leshawna gritted.
"Can you guys sha-shut up for a minute?" Lightning scornfully asked both women, "the Lightning does not care about your beef. But he could go for some beef, sha-yum."
"I hate to say it, but Courtney's right," Gwen admitted.
"Alright fine," Leshawna reluctantly agreed, "Lead us, your bitchiness."
Courtney chose not to reply, instead running towards Harold's icon on the map and running away with a "come on!"
"We're pretty much hosed," Jasmine sorrowfully told Dave and Sam.
"Yea I can't see how we win this," Sam agreed sadly.
As they were huddled though, Chef walked by whistling and dropping a paper.
"What's this?" Dave questioned as he grabbed and opened the paper. "It's a little far, but this place sets the bar. Go to this fort, that's associated with sport." He read to himself. Suddenly, he realized what he was holding. "Guys, someone's at a sports bar near here. Let's go find it!"
CONFESSIONAL: Chef
Chef had a concerned look on his face and barely fitting inside the bathroom confessional. "I kinda regret giving that note to Dave, but they need it. Jasmine really earned my respect last season, and I don't want to see her fail, she reminds me of me if I was a woman. Dave ain't half bad himself, and when his head's in the game he's a good player. I ain't helping them anymore, but they deserved a boost." Chef crossed his arms and looked away from the cam.
END CONFESSIONAL
Team Omega, or more specifically Lightning, came into a clearing that had a rainbow illuminated in the sky above him. At the far end of the clearing, the pot of gold was shown with the rainbow falling into it, with a lake lying a bit behind the pot.
"This is sha-spicious..." Lightning pondered aloud to himself.
"What are you talking about jockhead?" Courtney asked him.
"Probably about the open clearing that Harold doesn't even look to be defending," Gwen pointed out, with the camera showing a plain looking field ahead.
"Knowing that smart stringbean, there's probably traps all in there," Leshawna reasoned, looking up like she missed the geek.
Courtney hung her head, "I hate that that makes sense. Does anyone have any candy we can use as bait?"
Suddenly, a new voice called out from behind the pot of gold, "Don't think Cody can save you this time, Courtney!"
Harold, in a horrid-looking leprechaun costume, strolled out and plopped down a lawn chair, taking his seat and staring back at the CIT.
"Hey sugar baby!" Leshawna called out to the nerd.
Gwen chuckled to herself, "Looking good dude," she said, busting his balls.
"Thank you," Harold replied, taking it as a compliment, "You should know, the Drama Brothers helped me out and the Codemeister got really into tech after TDWT."
As if on cue, Cody and Justin stepped out from behind Harold, both with sinister grins and equally dorky leprechaun costumes.
"Hey Gwen," Cody said in his signature awkward voice, "Did you guys know that I've created a defense system that Sierra hasn't been able to crack in a year?" he bragged to the ladies of the former Team Amazon.
"That's majorly impressive," Courtney told him, lacking her normal venom.
"And his tech skills really helped me get back in model shape with an advanced workout routine," Justin said as he stripped his shirt, posing and flexing while also incapacitating the women.
"Sha-dang!" Lightning gawked, "Cody, Lightning needs that workout routine, sha-stat."
"Maybe I'll let you have it, maybe I won't. Come and get it," Cody taunted, sitting down in a chair beside Harold.
"Oh, you do NOT taunt the sha-Lightning," Lightning howled at the geek. "It is sha-ON!" He charged forward through the field, towards the three Drama Brothers who looked incredibly confident.
"Lightning wait!" Courtney called to him, but to no avail.
Courtney's cries fell on deaf ears though, as Lightning was running tunnel-visioned at the three OGs. He made it about halfway through the field, dodging exploding mines and perfume bombs until he was suspended on the ground, unable to move his head up.
"Ah! AH!" The mega jock screamed. "Why can't the Lightning pick his head off the sha-ground?"
"Told you it'd work," Cody nudged Justin in the ribs, the model annoyedly slapping 10 dollars in his hand.
"Uh, what was that?" Gwen pointedly asked Cody.
"My new magnet!" Cody boasted, "It can make even the smallest amount of metal completely stuck to the ground. Lightning's pretty much stuck now."
"Sha-dang!" Lightning moaned, "Lightning's coaches were right, he shouldn't have kept these sha-earrings in."
"Alright, no bling," Leshawna noted as she took out her hoops.
"Uh, I can't exactly take mine out easy," Gwen blushed, not saying a word but looking down at her chest in shame.
"No worries girl!" Leshawna amicably told her, "Court and I will manage. Try and go around the magnet."
"Alright," Gwen cautiously agreed, shifting way over towards the right side of the clearing while Leshawna and Courtney were forced to work together.
"Well miss CIT," Leshawna mocked, "What's your excellently thought out plan?"
Courtney rolled her eyes, "We should take the path that Lightning took. He probably already cleared out all the traps and we wont get taken down by Cody's magnet."
"I hate to say it, but that's a good plan," the ghetto girl begrudgingly admitted.
The two girls ran through the middle while Gwen snuck through the side trying to avoid hazards and Codeman's magnet. Justin in particular was sitting up eagerly watching Gwen sneak through the side.
"What's got you so interested?" the goth snapped at the model.
"You'll see," Justin snickered, fist-bumping Harold.
As Gwen stalked on, the grass beneath her shrank towards her feet and revealed itself as a cover on a small buried mirror, the glass shattering under her feet and sending her plummeting into the earth. Her stay was short-lived though, as she was spat out into the lake behind the boys.
"Glass?!" Gwen screamed at Justin, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Relax," Justin dismissed her, "It's sugar glass. Doesn't hurt at all. I did some stunt performing after TDA turned me into a deformed circus beast, this stuff is great."
Courtney and Leshawna meanwhile were passing Lightning and advancing ever closer towards the boys, narrowly avoiding projectiles with each step.
"Watch it girl!" Leshawna pulled Courtney closer to her as Harold's laundry bomb went off.
"The power of the Chinook is both a blessing and a curse." Harold monologued.
Courtney suddenly stepped on a trap door as the women advanced 50 feet within the guys, causing a mech of Cody to rise to the surface. The mech didn't really look much like Cody outside of the face, as it had a giant hulking body, similar to Chef.
"Ah, the ol' Hulk-ody," Cody admired his creation. "Not even a Cody-withdrawn Sierra can take this thing down. My best work yet."
"Okay, I have a plan," Leshawna whispered to Courtney, "I'll face the thing head on while you make a run for the gold."
"You're willingly doing the dangerous part?" Courtney looked at her skeptically.
"Girl, we both know you're faster than I am." Leshawna snarked at the CIT, "Just go before I change my mind."
Leshawna bull-rushed the mech, going for the legs and insulting Cody in the process. Courtney snuck around the legs of the mechazoid and dove for the pot, smashing Cody's remote when she reached the boys.
"Congratulations," Harold surrendered, "Take your pot and your teammates, you have won with honor."
Cody turned off his magnet and released Lightning, who shot up with vigor.
"Sha-yeah! Let's win this shaaa-ughhhhh." He groaned as he collapsed, his skull beating from the pressure.
Courtney and Leshawna both face-palmed as Gwen pulled herself from the water.
Team Inferno arrived at a dock where a jetski was recklessly driving, performing flips off ramps and crashing waves onto swimmers.
"What the..." Scott gazed out at the should-be arrested motorist.
"WAHOOOOOO!" Izzy screamed out from the water as she performed a Triple salchow over the head of two snapping sharks, a look of sheer insanity plastered across her face. Typical Izzy. Her pot of gold was attached to the back of her jetski, occupying where the second passenger seat would normally be.
"How are we supposed to even get to her?" Sammy pondered aloud.
As if on cue, Chris' grating voice came booming in through a megaphone as he flew above in his jetpack.
"There's a jetski with a pair of water skis, a raft, a canoe, and a tugboat Trent and Lindsay might recognize." Chris burst out laughing at this before continuing. "Who am I kidding, only Trent will recognize it, it's Lindsay! Pick your poison!" Chris explained as he flew away.
Inferno scanned over at their aquatic options and were met with mostly disappointment save Scott, who had gone into a state of petrification upon seeing sharks again.
"Alright, I have a plan team." Sky optimistically began but pausing for an unusually long time, expecting an interruption. "Trent, you and Sammy should take the jetski, Dawn and Lindsay on the raft, and I'll take the canoe. Good?"
"What's Scott's role in this?" Trent asked, looking over at the hick who was trying not to collapse.
"Don't worry about him, worry about Izzy. Go!" Sky exclaimed, prompting her teammates to go to their water vehicles. Once she was sure they were out of earshot, she walked over to Scott and put a hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eyes. Her gaze wasn't met as Scott couldn't stop looking out at the water.
"Scott? You there?" Sky warmly asked him, but to no avail. Scott was ghastly pale, pupils minuscule, and jaw slack.
"I know about your whole 'history' with Fang," Sky airquoted, making sure to stay more encouraging than bossy. "But let's put it past us, huh? We have to win this challenge because it's one of us going home, and we need each other as allies. Let's both take the Boat of Losers, you can drive. How's that?"
Scott slowly came back, closing his mouth and redirecting his eyes to look back at Sky. He felt his paralysis fading and his blood pumping regularly again, enough that he could cobble together an "okay" for Sky.
The two boarded the Boat of Losers as their teammates were dealing with Izzy, which proved to be no small feat. Lindsay and Dawn had tried to go straight for Izzy, who simply reared her jetski up and did a backflip over the two girls.
"I got a coin! Is that enough?" Lindsay cheerily asked the moonchild.
"No, it is not." Dawn said rather sternly.
On the opposite side of the lake, Trent and Sammy were dealing with a much more perilous situation. Trent offered to do the skiing, not wanting Sammy to be exposed to the dangers of shark-infested water with a manic Izzy. However, Izzy's avoidance was a less exertive challenge than trying not to be eviscerated by the sharks, who were attracted to Trent with Scott-like vigor.
"You know what," Trent shouted ahead to Sammy, who could barely hear him over the engine, "Just try and crash into Izzy!"
"What?" Sammy yelled back, partly out of confusion and partly because she just couldn't hear.
"Ram Izzy!" Trent answered. "Don't really have a better plan, do you?"
Sammy paused. She did have a plan, to use Scott as shark bait and have everyone else circle Izzy so that she couldn't escape with her gold. But she didn't tell Trent that. She couldn't tell Trent that.
"Okay!"
Sammy whirred around and made a beeline for Izzy. The dramatic music swelled as the camera cut between shots of Izzy evilly laughing and Sammy's face that changed from determination to nervewracked as the women neared each other. Sammy refused to change her direction as she neared, making Izzy's expression change from sadistically enjoying the chaos to a big of shocked surprise. The two ladies crashed, sending Trent flying onto Lindsay and Dawn's raft. Izzy performed a 1440, casually breaking physics as she jackknifed through the surface.
"And she sticks the landing!" Izzy called out as she returned to the surface atop a shark. Her pot of gold landed on another shark, one who just so happened to be a bit grayer than normal. This shark wasn't a mutant though, simply an albino one that Chris had for fun.
Scott, however, didn't quite receive that message. As Sammy crashed on the boat with him and Sky, Scott felt his nervous system shutting down once again. His face was going devoid of any expression of heat, his limbs were entering paralysis, and he could feel his eyeline narrowing. But something was different about this shark. It was a shark, but it wasn't Fang. An albino shark sure, but not his tormentor. Despite the pounding in his eardrums that blocked out anything Sky and Sammy were saying, he responded in turn appropriately.
"I got this."
"No, Scott, we need a plan." Sky insisted.
Scott said nothing, and instead ran forward and leapt off the bow of the boat, screaming as he did so and dropkicking the shark square in the nose. The pot of gold flew in the air as both the hick and shark sank below the surface, the pot landing on the back of a speeding-by Boat of Losers that Sammy secured.
"Sammy, switch seats!" Sky called out, swapping seats with the nice twin.
Sky fished her hand in the shark-infested water, eventually grasping onto a slimy farmboy hand and pulling him onto the tugboat. Scott shook himself off vigorously and hacked up some water on his hands and knees, eventually standing himself up.
"Thanks for that." Scott said, trying to inflect his normal flatness but not being able to help himself from adding some good-naturedness in his voice.
"Of course. You're a valued teammate." Sky reasoned, also trying to stay stern but similarly failing to restrain her kindness.
COCKPIT CONFESSIONAL: Sky
Sky was standing in front of the camera with steely denial on her face. Chef sat in the back doing some pre-flight inspections.
"I want the record to be set straight that my helping of Scott was nothing romantic at all. It was purely strategic." she put emphatically.
Chef giggled from the front, not moving his vision towards the Olympalete. "Yea, same with Dave, right shorty?"
"Shut up!"
END CONFESSIONAL
Over in 'downtown' Ireland, Dave, Jasmine, and Sam were quickly scanning through the tacky buildings that Chris claimed weren't set up by him. A Chris merchant section, Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Fish Tales shop, and a prop of the Aftermath set squashed any claims that this was real. They opted for the only building that actually played into the Chef tip that Dave had, and went towards the Drunken Chef, which had a crude neon sign that showed illustrated Chef getting drunk and crashing the TD Jumbo Jet. Somewhere, somehow, Owen was having a panic attack.
The three strode into the bar, with everyone turning to face the trio.
"Who the hell are ya?" Horace, the bartender, aggressively asked the teens.
"Yea, we don't like foreigners here laddies." Griff, the town drunk, called out from his table with his drinking buddies Quinn, Grover, and John.
"Don't give them such a rough time guys, they're all mine." a deep voice called out from a darker corner of the bar.
Rodney's hulking frame dominated everyone else's in the bar as he sat alone at the table, a bowl of pretzels and multiple pitchers of beer on his table. He seemed to have grown an extra couple inches and put on 20 pounds of muscle since leaving Pahkitew, making his normally impressive frame even more intimidating and awe-inspiring. His pot of gold sat underneath his table, between his tree stumps of legs that he had crossed over to form a gate over the gold.
"Umm, how much testosterone are you on?" Dave asked, shrinking to less than half the size of Rodney as he approached the 5th most famous TD ginger.
"None, honest!" Rodney defensively shot, though his defensiveness was warranted. No steroids were needed for the gigantic man.
"Alroight, what's your challenge Farmer Love?" Jasmine questioned the large man, eyeing the beer as she said so. "Don't tell me it's some sort of drinking game."
'Actually Jasmine, that's exactly what it is." Rodney responded to her chagrin. "Well, part of it anyways. We each drink 3 pitchers of beer, and then you have to try and beat me in 3 different bar games."
"3 pitchers for one guy versus three people isn't super fair, ha ha." Sam chuckled, scratching the back of his head.
"My tolerance is really high." Rodney explained. "I grew up on a farm, remember? My dad was a moonshiner so I've had some experience drinking."
"I can drink two of the bottles, you two split the other one, agree?" Jasmine half instructed half asked to her duo of dudes, who both nodded in unison.
Chaos and Rodney began their drinking battle, Jasmine quickly downing her pitchers while Dave and Sam took their time. Sam's always been more a weed guy while Dave had strictly abstained from substances, so their struggles were pretty obvious. Rodney drank slower but was able to finish between Jasmine and the guys, not appearing too fazed by the alcohol consumption. By the time Sam and Dave finished their collective pitcher, the teens were wholly drunk. Jasmine was a little further than tipsy, while Rodney was holding his own pretty well for a man who just drank 3 pitchers, while Sam was certifiably drunk and Dave was near blackout levels of consumption.
"Alright, let's gets a goin!" Rodney slurred, bringing the trio to the roof of the bar.
"Ain't this a- a- a bit dangerous maaaaaaaaaaate?" Jasmine questioned, trying to steady herself but ending up swaying side to side.
"It's fine." Rodney assured her, waving his big paw and striking Dave, sending him toppling into a smoke stack atop the roof. He was down for the count.
"So what's the *hic* challenge?" Sam asked, hiccuping and belching his way through his speaking.
"A simple first one, giant lawn darts." Rodney explained, the camera panning to six giant darts, 3 blue and 3 red, and a giant dartboard behind the bar. "Whoever has the highest score after 3 darts wins!"
"Sam, go first." Jasmine ordered, lacking the normal boom in her gargantuan boom.
"Yes madam president." Sam responded, stumbling his way over to the dart and spiking it down, falling over as he threw. His accuracy was piss-poor, spiking it dead center but at the furthest edge of the board at the 3. He was able to slam the dart in the outer ring, turning his 3 into a 6. Not a great start.
Rodney followed directly after Sam, lining his eye with his thumb and letting the dart fly. He over-threw though, putting his dart at the direct opposite of the board from Sam at the 20, also nicking the outer ring, putting himself up 40-6 over the Chaos trio.
"Noice work mate." Jasmine scolded, going up to grab her dart.
"I'm sorry Jaz, I'm doing my best but I don't usually dri- HUAHH!" his sentence broken by his vomiting off the rooftop. Thankfully for Dave, he was still slumped during the pukefest.
Jasmine threw a high-arcing shot like a basketball player, but got her shot messed up by a convenient gust of wind. Her dart sailed off course from the center of the zone to the upper right, striking the inner ring of the 18 strip, shifting the tides in her team's favor 60-40.
"That's how it's done!" the Aussie exclaimed, pumping her fists in the air.
"Step aside, it's Rodney time." Rodney pushed his way past her and snagged his dart.
"You're not cool Rodney!" Sam called out as he hung over the ledge.
Rodney brushed off the snark from Sam and went back to his tried and true form, making sure he threw less powerfully. That weaker throw led to his throw being slightly over to the right, landing on a modest 15. 60-55, advantage, Chaos.
"Nuh-uh! I'm going again." Rodney demanded, grabbing his third dart. He stormed back to the ledge, put his form back on and finally found the strength sweet spot, soaring the dart perfectly into the outer ring of the bullseye for a single bull, earning himself 25 points and putting himself up 80-60 as Chaos was down to their last throw.
"Beat that!" Rodney gloated as Jasmine went to take the last dart. Rodney stopped her though. "You have one more team member to go." Rodney said, pointing over to the stirring Dave.
Jasmine gave Rodney a look of annoyance and went over to Dave, kneeling down but still being taller than him.
"Dave, you gotta get up and throw that dart." Jasmine instructed, pulling him up with her gargantuan hands.
"Ughhhhh, what?" Dave confusedly asked, in a ghastly daze.
Jasmine didn't respond, grabbing the germaphobe and hoisting him to the edge, plopping a dart in his hand.
"Throw!" Jasmine urged, Dave obliging. He threw his whole weight out as he lobbed his dart over the edge, wobbling over and falling back onto the roof safely. His dark whirred threw the air and through dumb luck, his dart landed on the 7. But not just the 7, the triple ring of the 7. 81-80, and Chaos wins the first bar game.
"Good work Davey!" Jasmine congratulated, Dave throwing up a half-assed thumbs up from the ground.
"Well that's game one. Let's continue." Rodney said, leading the two back into the bar.
Inside the bar, Rodney brought the trio to a pool table, where he had one cue ball and a litany of black balls.
"Rules for this one is simple, we're doing a trick-shot-off. I'll attempt, then you go. If we both make it, we both get points. If we're tied after 10 shots, it goes to me because 3 versus 1." Rodney explained, picking up his orange-handled cue. Jasmine opposed him for the first shot, grabbing her purple-handled cue.
A montage ensued showing the results of each shot through cheering and/or disappointment. Jasmine celebrated after shot one. Rodney got his get back on the next 2. Jasmine evened the score and Dave managed to luck his way through the next shot to make it 3-2. Sam and Rodney both made the next shot, then Jasmine, Dave, and Rodney combined to miss the next 2. On shot 9, Rodney evened the score as Jasmine couldn't make it, ordering to go ahead of Sam to take the riskiest shot. The final shot came up and Rodney had missed it, drawing up Sam to win the game.
"Sam, are you sure you can do this?" Jasmine asked as she pulled him aside.
"Don't worry, I can do got this!" Sam drunk-confidently put, his confidence potentially proving to be either costly or warranted.
Sam stepped up to the vertical end of table with his cue in hand surveyed the scene. He had to hit it off the triangle at center table, send it careening around the table to knock in every ball at the pockets, with the corner pocket nearest on his right being the last one that sunk. It was statistically improbable, one that Rodney likely set up so that if he was ahead of tied with the Chaosians, he would win by default. But Sam was used to playing the odds and pulling off incredibly hard maneuvers. The Dark Souls series was like a cakewalk for him, after all. He reared his cue back, scanned every possible angle, raised his cue slightly higher than normal to add spin, and struck. The ball performed epic rotations, knocking in every ball at the pockets and slowly but surely winding towards the nearside right corner pocket. The ball slowed, the tension and music swelled, and time seemed to pause. By sheer drunk luck, Sam's shot was perfect and the 8 ball fell into the pocket, giving Chaos a 2-0 shutout of Rodney.
"Congratulations!" Rodney beamed, pulling out his pot. "You've won this fair and square, go claim your victory!"
Jasmine looked stunned as her teammates collapsed onto the pot.
CONFESSIONAL: Jasmine
"Maybe I've been selling my team short." she pondered, bewildered. "I mean, I thought I'd have to carry these lops until the merge, if there were even any left. I failed to cinch the pool challenge, and Rodney was able to one-up me in darts, but Dave and Sam saved my bacon. I'd surely be going home without them. No more underestimating."
END CONFESSIONAL
Chris slurped on a coffee with Bailey's creamer at the finish line in his chair while Chef stood off to the side drinking a traditional Irish pub beer.
"Nice location, eh?" Chris said, sipping his coffee and punctuating with an "ahhh".
"Sure man. But we don't really got many locations this time around." Chef pointed out.
"Yea well, who's gonna notice if we reuse countries? Or even care?" Chris rhetorically brushed off.
"True that." Chef replied.
As they punctuated their conversation, one team came barreling towards the host, planting their pot firmly at Chris' feet with their eliminated team members cheering them on.
"First!" the person exclaimed, cheering with their team.
"And Trent and Team Inferno claim first place, enjoy your first class. Scott earns MVP honors easily." Chris announced, ushering the team to the side.
Chaos and Omega both came barreling down the lane, their respective eliminated teammates cheering and/or looking on nervously. Courtney and Gwen surprisingly teamed up to carry to the pot of gold while Leshawna was lugging Lightning on her back, the uber jock still recovering from the pressure of Cody's magnet. Jasmine opposed the Omega ladies, carrying her pot as well as Dave and Sam who were collapsed on the pot, the latter puking off the side intermittently. Jasmine was becoming increasingly fed up with the races, turning on the jets.
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"Chaos takes second place!" Chris shouted as Jasmine placed her pot and partners in front of the Host with the Most, Courtney and Gwen dropping the pot in disappointment and Leshawna eventually collapsing under Lightning's body weight.
"Omega, that means you're heading towards an elimination ceremony!" Chris grinned, getting a chorus of moans and groans in return. "Guess that means no Team Amazon or Team I'm so sexy me dominance this time around huh? I'll see you guys at the elimination."
Inside the plane, Noah was pacing back and forth in an empty economy class. He knew that Owen would vote with him no matter what, but Gwen was unpredictable, Leshawna never really enjoyed him, and Courtney was just... no. Brilliance struck him in the form of brawns, Lightning strolling in bouncing a tennis ball and dribbling it like a basketball. Noah knew from watching TDROTI that Lightning wasn't too hard to manipulate, but speaking to him too intelligently could cost him a valuable vote.
"Hey muscles." Noah feigned casually, but his inner monologue was screaming at him. Muscles?!
"What do you want, uhhhh... second Cameron?" Lightning asked skeptically.
"Didn't know Cameron and I were dopplegangers but alright." Noah acknowledged. "I'm Noah, and I want to know who you're voting for tonight."
"The Lightning votes for who sha-serves it the most." Lightning retorted. "He doesn't take orders from nobody anymore."
"What if everyone else tries to vote for you?" Noah posed, trying to pry into Lightning's fickle mind. "You are the strongest on our team, and that might make you a threat."
"Lightning does not care, they won't sha-vote him." Lightning, who's mind was surrounded by a rather thick skull, shot. "As far as Lightning's concerned, everyone else should be eliminated and Lightning should be a team of one. Team Lightning!" he said with jazz hands. "Lightning's gonna leave, nice to talk to you Noah." Lightning said lacking any apparent emotion, leaving to go his DPA.
"Imbecile." Noah facepalmed, laying down on the bench in frustration.
"Hey buddy!" Owen called out as he entered with a load of cookies. "What's wrong?"
"Trying to get a third vote for tonight but Lightning is giving me Heather and Lindsay PTSD." Noah explained.
"Why not Gwen or Leshawna?" the big boy asked between bites of cookies.
"Leshawna doesn't really like or trust me, and Gwen isn't the type to follow a voting suggestion." Noah once again explained.
"Have you talked to Ella?" Owen wondered. "She's pretty nice, maybe she'll help us."
"Not a bad idea big guy." Noah admitted, stroking his chin in contemplative thought. "You're really smart sometimes man."
"Me like cookie." Owen responded as he shoved a cookie down his gullet.
Noah left his lovable lug to go find the songbird, who was humming idly along while exploring the cabin.
"Perfect pitch, you should be in that movie." Noah commented, looking at the props that Chris had packed to torture his contestants.
"Oh thank you kind teammate." Ella beamed.
"Of course. Can I talk to you about who you're thinking of voting for tonight?" Noah tried to nonchalantly ask, stretching out his sentence.
"Oh, I haven't given it much thought." Ella responded. "Why?"
Noah swallowed a lump in his throat and mentally readied himself. "Well, because I think the team might try and vote you off tonight."
"Me? What for?" Ella asked, taken aback.
"You got eliminated in the first part, that makes you a prime target for blame." Noah told her.
"Goodness, I hadn't thought of that." Ella realized. "But doesn't that make you and Owen targets as well?"
"Sure, but Owen and I have originality status, the other gen oners probably will pick us over you. Plus, Owen's a really strong teammate." Noah manipulated.
"Okay, I'll vote with you." Ella caved, disappointed and nervous about potentially going home early again.
"Wonderful." Noah responded, filling her in on his plan for the night.
In First Class, Team Inferno were reaping the benefits of winning their second challenge in a row. Lindsay was getting a manicure with Dawn meditating by her, guiding her through her relaxation. Sammy and Trent were sharing a row, Sammy subtly sneaking glances or rubbing against Trent while he played, which he enjoyed thoroughly. Sky was sitting massaging her legs when a hick came a knockin, tapping her shoulder and getting her to turn the opposite direction to which he was coming, sitting down on the other side of her.
"Mind if I sit here?" Scott asked.
"Go ahead, no one else is there and company is nice." Sky responded, continuing her massage.
"Look I uh," Scott started, pausing to scratch his neck. "I wanted to say thanks for coachin' me through the challenge today. I probably wouldn't have gotten through it without your help." he stammered, blushing.
"Of course." Sky cheerily told him, turning to face him. "You're a valued team member, and besides me, you're also the strongest."
"I had to deal with mutants and a shark that had a boner for me! You just dealt with some mechs, I'm tougher." Scott retorted.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Sky agreed. "Point is, you and I sticking together is smart because we're the most valuable members of our team."
"That I can agree with." Scott replied.
"So if we lose again, we vote together, right?" Sky skeptically asked.
"Sure, sure." Scott nonchalantly answered.
CONFESSIONAL: Scott
Scott hung his head and had his shoulders more forward than normal. "As much as I'd like to say my fingers were crossed and I'd never make a sissy deal like that with someone like Sky, it wouldn't be true. Pappy always said to hurt your friends, but hurt your enemies worser. So I'll wait on Sky until she's an enemy. Then she'll fall to the Scottmeister! AHAHAHA-hakgahhhh!" he cried as a rat from overhead fell into his mouth, hacking it up as the confessional ended.
END CONFESSIONAL
As Scott walked out of the confessional, Leshawna was about to stroll in when a pale arm tugged her back.
"Oh hey girl." Leshawna greeted the pasty goth, who was looking a little more scowlish than usual.
"Hey. Listen, I need to talk to you about Courtney." Gwen told the ghetto girl.
"Psh, no need." Leshawna brushed off. "She's got my vote tonight, that bitch gotta go down."
"That's the thing Leshawna, I can't have you fighting my battles." Gwen put sternly.
"Girl what?" Leshawna asked, bewildered.
"It's really nice that you defend me from Courtney and all, but I've got to deal with her on my own." Gwen explained, trying to tell Leshawna gently.
"Gwen, with all due respect, I'm not gonna vote for Courtney just for you. I just want her gone, I haven't been able to stand her since TDA." Leshawna replied.
"Yea, but you've never been this angry towards her. I need to deal with her myself, i.e. without your help." Gwen pushed.
"Don't Trent me pasty." Leshawna threatened. "Don't lose your biggest ally early."
"I don't plan to, let's just vote for Lightning or something." Gwen urged.
"Nuh-uh Gwen. You do what you want, I'm still voting for Courtney. I want her gone." Leshawna pushed, storming off without even giving her confessional.
Leshawna stormed over to where Noah was relaxing reading his book next to Owen who had finished his cookies and was chugging a carton of milk.
"Yo Noah, you got a sec?" she called out to him, getting him to peer up from his book.
"Maybe, what for?" Noah responded nonchalantly.
"Courtney." Leshawna said flatly. "She has got to go, ya feel me?"
"Sensually." Noah deadpanned.
"Creepy ass." Leshawna responded in disgust. "But do we have an understanding?"
"Of course, Big O and I got your backs." Noah replied, nudging his big buddy for him to confirm, Owen shooting a thumbs up.
"Cool, see you later." Leshawna said as she strolled off. Once she was out of hearing range, Owen got confused.
"Wait, but what about our plan? Are we voting for Courtney now?" Owen asked.
"Don't follow what she said dude." Noah ordered. "Just stick with our plan."
"Oh, okay. It just seems mean." Owen reasoned, rubbing the back of his head out of guilt.
"It's not mean, it's part of the game." Noah assured him, putting down his book and stepping away.
CONFESSIONAL: Owen
Owen looked nervous, his hands were shaking and he had a bead of sweat running along his head. "I don't like lying to people. Or not following orders. Or going against my friends. Ugh, I always forget how hard this game can be for me mentally!"
END CONFESSIONAL
Dusk fell and the elimination ceremony rolled around. On the Bleachers of Losers, Gwen and Leshawna were noticeably on opposite ends of the bleachers, Noah and Owen were basically glued at the hip, Lightning was off to the side looking bothered that he had to be there, Courtney sat front and center with her legs crossed and a surprising amount of outward confidence being expressed, with a nervous looking Ella sitting off to the side of Gwen rounding out the Omegas.
The peanut gallery saw Dave, Jasmine, Sam, Brick, and Zeke on the top row with Scott, Sky, Sammy, Trent, Lindsay, and Dawn on the lower row. Sammy was leaning on Trent while Jasmine and Dave talked about who they thought would go home, Scott butting in intermittently.
"Elimination time! You know the drill by now, go into the confession can and stamp the passport of the player you wanna eliminate. And just for fun," Chris said, turning to the peanut gallery. "Any thoughts on who's going home?"
"Lightning." Scott blurted out.
"If they're smart, Courtney. If not, Ella." Jasmine explained.
"I think Leshawna or Owen." Dave countered.
"No one for Noah or Gwen?" Chris asked, looking around at the gallery who all had a "No" expression on their face.
"Oh! Me! I like Gwen!" Lindsay cheered.
"Thanks for that Lindsay. Alright, go vote!"
The camera flashed and Chris was back flipping through the votes, mixing looks of acknowledgement to shock to puzzlement.
"Well, this was an interesting voting cycle. Let's start with the two people who received no votes tonight: Owen and Gwen." Chris said as threw out the peanut barf bags, Gwen dodging hers and Owen catching and scarfing down his bag to the disgust of everyone around him.
"What? It was free!" Owen protested.
"Moving on," Chris said, shuffling through the votes. "All 5 of you received votes. One of you will be taking the Drop of Shame. That person won't be...
...
Ella."
"Phew, thank you Chris." Ella said as she caught her bag, dropping it instantly as she felt the wetness of the barf bag.
"Yea yea, whatever." Chris brushed off. "Let's see, the next two of you to be safe that will increase the drama, hmmmm. Let's go with...
...
...
...
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Lightning...
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...
...
and
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...
...
...
...
Noah. You dudes are both safe."
Lightning caught his bag and threw it away as Noah just let the bag sail past him. Half of the peanut gallery was surprised and watching keenly, other members such as Scott being annoyed his pick was safe.
"Courtney, Leshawna. Two of the 4 most drama-ful women from TDI. Two great competitors who've yet to win a season. One of your conquests is up. Courtney, you could be going home for overall Courtney-ness, despite being one of your team's best players. Leshawna, you could be going home for anti-Courtney-ness, also despite being one of your team's best players. But this game's voting hardly ever follows logic. Tonight's final barf bag goes to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Courtney." Chris announced, throwing the final barf bag to a stunned and relieved Courtney.
"WHAT?!" Leshawna screamed out, looking around at her teammates. "How could y'all pick me over Courtney?!"
"I didn't vote for you Leshawna." Gwen told her earnestly, hoping not to ruin her friendship with the ghetto girl.
"Nah, you know what? Save it. Get me off this fuckin' plane, if I ever get on here again it'll be too soon." Leshawna spat, storming over to Chris and grabbing her parachute.
"Unlucky." Chris mocked.
"Yea fuck you too." Leshawna responded, flipping the bird over her head and jumping out of the jet with a scream.
"Wow, Leshawna's exited the jet early in back-to-back World Tours. Guess this jet is just her kryptonite. How will team Omega proceed without one of their dynamo leaders and strongest players. How will Gwen and Courtney coexist without Leshawna to break up their cat fights? Who'll go home next in our upcoming epic challenge in the beautiful Golden Cape of Croatia? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Worldddd Touuuuuuuuuuuuuur!" Chris signed off, dismissing the teens.
Gwen stayed behind, looking at the door where her former TDBFF stood. She was upset and let a single thug tear slide down her cheek before leaving to Loser Class.
Voting Confessionals
"Lazy! No good! Teammate!" Courtney cried as she stamped Noah's passport thrice.
Ella went in and stamped Leshawna's passport, staring pensively into the camera. "I hope I put my eggs in the correct basket."
"C'mon Leshawna..." Gwen hoped as she stamped Lightning's passport.
"Sorry Court, but you gotta go down." Leshawna announced into the camera.
Lightning went in and stamped Ella's passport quickly. "No more creepy girls." he shuddered.
"All according to plan. Hopefully." Noah foreshadowed, stamping Leshawna's passport.
Owen jumbled between Courtney, Noah, and Leshawna's passport, ultimately deciding to trust his buddy and stamping Leshawna
FINAL TABULATION:
Leshawna: 3 votes
Courtney: 1 vote
Ella: 1 vote
Lightning: 1 vote
Noah: 1 vote
Reasoning: This cast is bloated, and I'm determined to not have a superteam that just plows through every challenge. So when it came time for Omega to drop a member, I debated between 3 people getting dumped. Courtney and Gwen's plots are far from finished so anyone thinking they'd be heading out this ep. was hopefully thrown for a loop. At the end of the day, Leshawna is a fantastic game player, and that's why Noah dumped her early. Sure, she can be reasoned with just like any other person but Noah and Leshawna have never had any real positive interactions, so that's why instead of trying to get Leshawna on board and dump Courtney, Noah just went out for Leshawna. Sad to see her go but someone had to, y'know?
I started this chapter in December 2021. Today is October 20th, 2022. Crazy what happens when motivation dies huh? If anyone's ever looking for an upload schedule, expect like every 2-3 months? I'm in college and also writing a book rn, so I can't really crank out these chapters as fast as I'd like to. I hope you all enjoyed, please gimme some honest feedback in the reviews, and I'll see y'all in Croatia! For anyone wondering, the Aftermath is hosted by Gidgette, with Harold, Eva, Shawn, and Jo on the panel. See you then!
