Chapter 49
Jon Snow Stark POV
I'm trying to focus on school so I don't have to think about Ygritte. I didn't ever want to break up with my first, that's why I was so against dating and having sex. I should probably stick to my old principles, it was better that way.
I'm getting ready to leave rock climbing practice and head to the middle school on Wedneaday, I told Arya I would pick her up from school today after practice. As I'm leaving, Gendry is leaving the theatre side of the school.
"Hey Jon," he says. "Are you going home?"
"No," I respond. "I'm going to the middle school to pick Arya up."
"Oh perfect! Can you give me a ride home? Someone else in my family needed to borrow my car yesterday and today. I live right by the middle school."
"Oh, right. Yeah sure, no problem." We walk out to the parking lot and get into my car.
"So how have you been?" Gendry asks me.
"Pretty okay," I respond. "Still dealing with the breakup, I guess."
"How are you handling that?"
"I'll be okay. Sometimes I miss Ygritte, but I've realized that I miss our friendship more than our dating relationship." We pull up to the middle school, and I stop the car. Arya always takes a couple minutes to walk out after she knows I'm here.
"Was the sex not good or something?" Gendry asks me, which catches me off guard.
"No that was really good," I respond. "I just felt like we were better as friends. Why are you asking me about the sex? It's not like you've done it."
"No reason," he responds, shrugging. Arya gets in the backseat. "You'll be fine, I know breakups suck but it sounds like you made the right decision."
"You broke up with Ygritte?" Arya asks me. "Hi Gendry."
"Yeah," I respond. "I thought we were better as friends."
"Damn, I liked her," Arya says. "She was cool."
"Arya, watch your language." She rolls her eyes.
"How are you Arya?" Gendry asks as we start driving away.
"I'm good," she responds. "You?"
"Just busy as ever." We pull up to Gendry's house. "By Jon, bye Arya. Thanks for the ride."
"No worries," I respond. "Bye, man."
"Why did you break up with Ygritte?" Arya asks me as we start driving home. "She was so cool."
"Not that it's any of your business," I respond. "But I told you, I thought we were better off as friends."
"Isn't the point to date someone who is also a good friend?"
"Well yeah, but—" I'm getting flustered. Why is she all up in my business? "It's more complicated than that, Arya. You don't understand because you're 12, but you will eventually."
I know she doesn't like it when I bring up how young she is, but she needs to know that this is something she just doesn't understand yet. She doesn't respond to my comment. I'm sure I've irritated her, but I feel like I can't say anything to my sisters these days without them getting mad.
Sansa Stark POV
I haven't told anyone that I lost my virginity, not even Arya. When I woke up on Monday, it still looks like I've been crying. I washed my face and put on makeup, which seems to cover it up enough. Ramsay was super affectionate with me that day, always holding my hand and being attentive. He walked me to class and drove me home. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn't.
On Wednesday, I get home after cheer and Arya is doing her homework at her desk. I've been really quiet lately, and I think she can tell something's up. After I get changed and sit down on my bed, Arya clears her throat. "Sansa?" She asks.
"Yeah?" I say, looking up from my phone.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I reply looking back down. "Why?"
"I know you're lying to me. You've been really quiet lately."
I just pause and look at her. I gesture over to the closet and we go sit down in our spot. "Okay, I'll tell you," I whisper. "But if you tell mom, dad or any of the boys you're dead to me."
"Of course," Arya says, nodding.
"I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day."
Arya's eyes widen. "For real?"
"Yeah."
"How was it?"
"It hurt, and it all happened so fast. But I've been told it'll get better."
"Who else knows."
"No one, you're the first."
Arya smiles at me. "Thank you for telling me."
"I promised you I'd tell you everything when it happened, didn't I?" Arya can't seem to tell how conflicted I feel, which surprises me. I'm not looking forward to having sex again, but at least I can say I did it.
…
Ramsay took me home from cheer on Thursday, and we had sex in his car behind the school before leaving. I didn't like it, and he didn't really ask me if I wanted to do it. I do still like him, and I know this is what he expects. I just hope I can start enjoying it soon.
Jon and I have had a rocky relationship since our argument the night I started dating Ramsay. We've always fought, but he's been even more distant from me lately. I almost want to ask him for advice about how to get Ramsay less focused on sex since they're the same age, but I feel like I can't now that I've pissed him off so much.
Margaery and I haven't hung out in a while, so she invited me to hang out with her, Daenerys and Cersei taday, which is Saturday. She said they're just sleeping over at the Lannister's place and maybe getting food. Ramsay wanted to hang out with me, and he got kinda mad when I said I had plans. I just really need this time with my girls.
When I knock on the door, Jaime opens it. "They're all upstairs," he says to me. I walk up to Cersei's room and sure enough, the girls are all sitting in various spots in the room.
"Sansa!" Margaery says as I walk in. She walks up and gives me a hug. "We were worried you wouldn't come."
I sit down in one of Cersei's chairs, for some reason I feel awkward around everyone. "How's it going?" Dany asks me. "How are things with Ramsay?"
"Oh it's going okay," I respond, looking down at my lap. I'm hesitant to tell them everything.
"Are you sure?" Margaery asks me. "It seems like there's something on your mind."
"Well," I respond, still avoiding eye contact. "I lost my virginity to him on Valentine's day." I'm speaking so quietly.
"What?" Margaery loudly asks. A series of gasps from Cersei and Dany echo in the room.
"It's about time," Cersei chimes in. "I'm surprised he waited as long as he did." That irritates me, because he didn't wait. He refused to wait.
"How was it?" Dany asks me.
"Fine I guess," I respond, shrugging. "I don't know. It hurt. We did it again on Thursday in his car, which was really uncomfortable."
"Yeah, car sex isn't always fun," Margaery says. "Guys seem to like it though."
I don't like having this conversation, it feels gross to talk about. I thought my first time would be special, and I thought I'd want to tell my friends everything. But this feels different, I feel almost ashamed to bring it up. While they're continuing the conversation about their first times, Margaery gets everyone's fast food order.
"What do you want, Sansa?" Margaery asks me.
"Oh, I'm good," I respond. "I ate before I came." I didn't, but I'm worried if I eat I'll just throw it up. Talking about sex with Ramsay made me feel nauseous.
I walk into the bathroom to get a breather. I look at myself in the mirror, and I feel like I don't even recognize myself. So much has changed in the last few months. As I'm getting ready to step out of the bathroom, I glance at the trash. It looks like there's a pregnancy test box in the trash can, but I can barely see it. Is Cersei pregnant? She has been acting weird lately. Or is the test Dany's? I could see Dany wanting to take the test somewhere that isn't her house. I make a note of it, but I feel weird bringing it up.
A little while later, Jaime brings the food up to us. "You okay?" I hear him ask Cersei. She just nods, and he walks out. Cersei opens her bag and takes out the burger she got. That seems weird, I never see her eating junk. She opens her mouth, but before taking a bite she runs into the bathroom and throws up. We can hear her cleaning up and the sink running.
"Are you okay?" Margaery asks when Cersei walks out of the bathroom.
"Yeah," Cersei responds, sitting back down. "They just put onions on my burger, I hate how onions smell."
"Okay, but you never react like that," Margaery continues. "I don't want to get sick, and if you just threw up—"
"I'm fine, Margaery!" Cersei yells. "God, will you shut up? You won't get sick, quit being a bitch!" Everyone continues eating in silence, it's really awkward. What if Cersei really is pregnant? God that would be crazy.
