WHAT'S THE 'BONBON' IN WHISKEY BONBONS?

There was a high-pitched, muffled ringing tone within the bundle of blankets on top of Canarie's futon. It had been going on for several seconds until the bedroom door slid open with a loud crash, and Canarie stepped in. There was a displeased look on her face as she walked over to her bed. She fumbled through the blankets for a couple seconds as the ringing persisted.

"Cana-san? Who's that?" Shinpachi called to her from inside the living room.

Canarie shrugged. "No idea. I never give my personal number out," she grumbled out while finally digging the phone up from her bed. Once retrieved, she quickly answered it with as much sourness in her voice as possible, hoping to relay her irritation through the call. "Who are you and how'd you get this number?"

"Hello! It's me! It's me!" a voice practically yelled into the phone.

Swiftly, Canarie's annoyance melted into a mixture of both anger and confusion. She never gives her phone number to anyone, and not even Gintoki or Shinpachi know what it is. The voice wasn't familiar either, as far as she knew. "Dude, listen. I don't know anyone by the name of 'Me'," she said while pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Me, damnit! I'm in trouble!" the voice persisted. "I need help. I ran over a pregnant lady!"

Canarie arched a brow slowly and began to draw her words out. "Ok…? Goodluck, then." Before the mysterious man could continue with his prank call, Canarie pulled the phone away from her ear and quickly hung up. "I don't even know why I keep a phone if I never use it." She tossed her useless devise back into the oblivion of her sheets and walked out of the room.

Shinpachi lifted his head as Canarie sat back down on the couch. "No one you knew?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah. Sounded like a scam. So I hung up."

Not long after Canarie sat down, the phone on Gintoki's desk began to ring. Before anyone could answer it, Kagura got up from lying on the couch to answer it herself.

"Hello. This is the Yorozuya," she said as her voice faded into the background of Canarie and Shinpachi's minds.

Canarie hunched over and pressed the tips of her fingers against her chin, looking deep in thought. "Scam calls are happening a lot more often these days. Wish I could've handled this one better," she muttered, piquing Shinpachi's curiosity.

"What do you mean? You did hang up, right?" he asked.

"Yeah…but I wished I could've banged two pots together before cutting the line. That would've made them think twice about doing that again."

"Cana-san…" Shinpachi said dryly and watched as Kagura suddenly rushed past them and headed outside with her umbrella. "Ah? Kagura-chan?" he called out, but she was already gone.

Canarie cocked a brow. "Where's she in a hurry, too?"

"Who knows."

Just then, the bathroom door opened, and Gintoki walked out, rubbing his backside. "Oww… I think I wiped too much. We really need one of those automatic toilets." He looked at the front door for a moment before stepping into the living room. "Who just went out?"

"Kagura did. She answered the phone and then ran out," Canarie answered while giving him an odd look. She had wondered where he was for the past hour, not thinking he was fighting for his life in the bathroom this whole time.

"What's up with her?" Gintoki said and took a seat between the two. "Did her family come to take her home?"

They all turned back to the TV just as an emergency segment came up, warning people about the new phone call scam.

Canarie's eyes widened the moment she saw it. "Ah! That's the phone call I got a couple minutes ago," she said loudly and pointed at the screen. "The 'It's me!" scheme. I knew I should've banged two pot pans together."

Gintoki scoffed. "You should've. Sounded like a missed opportunity."

Shinpachi paid close attention to the TV announcement. "They call you and only identify themselves as 'It's me! It's me!' and pretend to be one of your closest friends or relatives. Then, they'll tell you they're in serious trouble and need money. They'll ask you to wire it to their bank account."

Gintoki laughed. "I don't care who's in trouble. I'm not giving anybody money. The one idiot who'd fall for that would be that stupid girl—"

All three of them then get a look on their faces as if they have realized something quite devastating. Without saying another word, they got up from the couch in a flash and ran out of the house to try and catch up with Kagura.


They sped off to the bank as fast as they could, but by the time they had arrived, a large crowd had gathered outside.

"Get out and surrender! We have you surrounded!" the local cops shouted.

The Yorozuya stood at the back of the crowd and stared in awe at what they had walked upon.

"You can't be serious. How the hell did this happen?" Canarie said in a single breath.

"We're too late…" Gintoki said, dropping his head.

"You think it's Kagura-chan in there?" asked Shinpachi.

"Most definitely. She got swindled, but she didn't have any money. So this is the only thing left to do."

"No way… Then what should we do?"

Gintoki sighed and gave Canarie a knowing glance. They nodded once to each other and began to push themselves through the crowd until they reached the front.

"What are you guys doing?" Shinpachi called out to them.

"The only thing we can do. She's our responsibility, right?" Canarie said while unwrapping the cloth from her sword.

"That's right. If it were up to her family, I'm sure they'd do the same," Gintoki followed up.

Shinpachi hesitated, but with a sudden burst of courage, he rushed through the crowd and stood beside them. "Then I'll go too," he insisted.

The automatic doors slid open, and they saw Kagura inside. Instead of her holding up a bank though. They noticed her in the clutches of a monk vomiting up fleshy-looking tentacles from his mouth that looked practically alien.

Canarie let out a sharp gasp but immediately fell into a focused state. She pushed aside her shock and got into a defensive pose while tightly holding her katana. "Kagura?!" she cried out and rushed into the bank without a second thought.

The automatic doors slowly closed as Shinpachi and Gintoki remained outside. They didn't move from their spot and stayed in complete denial, unlike Canarie, who they had just abandoned inside the nightmare bank. They could even hear commotion from behind the door but didn't try to go inside and help. Not only did it surprise them, but it scared the crowd enough to run away from the scene.

"Shinpachi…I think we had the wrong person," Gintoki said with a shaken voice.

"Yeah…"

"Ah…that's good that it's not Kagura who was the suspect, but…"

"Was she being attacked right now? Shouldn't we help Cana-san?" Shinpachi said, questioning every decision he made in his life that got him to this ridiculous point in time.

"Maybe that's her dad? Yeah. Her dad called and told her to wait here," Gintoki said wistfully.

Shinpachi nodded vigorously, feeling his confidence shrivel away at that very moment. "Oh. One of those father-daughter reunions, right?"

"Right. It would be wrong for us to interrupt-"

Before the idiots could turn and walk away, the sliding doors opened, and Canarie burst forth with Kagura under her arm. She pushed past them and took off down the street without a word of caution or explaining what had happened. The boys didn't have to question for long when they looked back to the bank and saw the monk still inside, continuing to throw up these horrendous tentacles from his mouth. They held their stare-off for a couple seconds until the monk suddenly broke out in a mad dash toward them. The boys screamed out in absolute terror and ran into the street to catch up with Canarie.

"You idiots! Why didn't you go in and help!" Canarie yelled back at them just as they ran up by her side. "You really were about to walk away, were you?!"

They all ran as fast as they could down the streets as the tentacle monster chased after them, looking like the stuff of nightmares. They all let out a fretful scream and tried to pick up the pace, most likely breaking speed records in the desperate attempt to flee.

"We thought he was her dad!" Gintoki shouted.

"I don't know him! He just started throwing up!" Kagura screamed back.

"And he's still throwing up!" Canarie looked over her shoulder and saw that the monster had somehow sped up and was nearly on top of them. "He's gonna freaking catch up!"

They all turned their heads back around and saw a white-dressed figure standing in their way a couple of feet ahead.

"Gotcha!" he said suddenly and brandished what looked like an umbrella.

Canarie gasped sharply. "That umbrella… Get down!" She dropped Kagura onto the floor and skillfully tripped the boys behind her. As they all fell to the ground, the unknown man threw his umbrella. He struck it against the monster's tentacles, using so much force that it cracked the sidewalk's surface. In that single blow, Canarie already knew that the crisis was over. "I knew it. That umbrella…" she said as they all stood up.

"I've been looking for you for a long time, Kagura," the man said while approaching them.

As Canarie helped Kagura off the ground, the young girl turned to face the man and looked perplexed. "Papi?"