Trent opened his eyes to a strange room bathed in sunshine, and felt…

Good.

For a moment, he closed his eyes and relished the feeling. Most mornings were a struggle, because he woke up feeling like shit, and it took some time to put himself back together. But not this morning. This morning he had awoken next to a naked, very attractive girl who was not his girlfriend, and had nothing to worry about.

Melody still slept beside him, breathing the soft, steady respiration of a person still under. He took the opportunity to just chill and enjoy the ambience. Last night had pretty much been wound down after the douchebag had left and they'd talked things over in the hot tub. He and Mae and Melody moved about the mansion after that, talking to the party-goers, trying to get more intel on Bombshell. He wasn't sure what all they'd gotten, as Mae had been keeping a 'file', as she called it, on whatever tidbits of data they could scrounge up.

But time had worn on. The people had left, one by one, until eventually they were the only ones left. Them and Jackie, who had opted to stay the night, too.

The need to piss finally got him up out of bed. He somehow managed to pull his clothes on and slip out of the room without waking Melody. He found the bathroom, pissed, then washed his face and used some mouthwash to clean out his mouth. From there, he walked downstairs, feeling strange, a stranger in this mansion, alone apparently.

He wanted to do something, go somewhere, but he wasn't sure where. And then he saw the back porch, and through the mostly-glass wall separating the inside from the outside, he saw Jackie leaning on the railing, facing away from him.

Trent walked out and she glanced back. "Hey," she said quietly as he slipped out and closed the door behind him.

"Hey," he replied. "You okay with company?"

"Yeah," she said.

He walked up to stand beside her and lean on the railing. It was still relatively early in the morning, he thought. He checked his phone and found it to be nine thirty, which was early for him.

"How you doing?" he asked.

Jackie didn't answer right away, just staring off into the distance. The area beyond their yard was undeveloped, just a large field that eventually gave way to a forest. A creek ran through the field. It was beautiful.

"I'm good," Jackie replied. "Feeling...in between."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, exactly. I think it's those times where something I've set up has come definitively to an end, but I don't have anything else immediately lined up, so I'm...in between. Adrift. It isn't a bad feeling, though it can turn into one."

"Bea describes you as very busy."

"I definitely am. I've got a lot of side-gigs."

"What do you do? I'm curious," he said.

She sighed, seemed to consider it. "Well, let's see. I maintain a blog. I write articles for Medium, and anyone who will have me. I review video games through a trans lens, although really it's just writing about trans characters, mostly, and a lot of fumbling attempts at trans characters. I've got a one-woman band with two albums and three EPs out, and I'm working on my third album. I do editing online, I write poems and short stories and," she sighed, "erotic commissions. There's money in that and apparently I've got a knack for it. I do some graphic design. I do oddjobs around town. I pet-sit, and house-sit. And...hmm, that's it."

"That's so fucking much. I'm legit impressed."

"Well, people were reluctant to hire me, being the only trans person in town and all. And I'm...fairly abrasive, and made a number of enemies in high school. Honestly if I didn't invest so much time and effort into these parties, I probably could cut back on my hustle by a third, but they keep me sane. And Bea, too. They kept her sane."

"You really watched out for her. I don't know the protocol, if it's weird, you being her best friend and me being her boyfriend coming into the picture later, but I just want to say it anyway: I really appreciate that you helped her how you did. You really gave a shit about her, and went out of your way to help her, so I wanted to say thank you."

She stared at him for a long moment, her face somewhat blank, then she sighed and shook her head. "You know, I often imagined this happening. This or something like it. Bea would get a boyfriend someday, I knew that, I mean, she's Bea. And I'd have to put up with some fucking 'boy' as the hormones raged and Bea swooned. I love her, but I could tell she was going to fall for someone, hard. And it just occurred to me at some point that if I wanted to stay in her life, I'd have to put up with it, and endure the awkwardness of some Possum Springs guy who had no idea how to handle the fact that I'm trans."

"Is it like how you expected?" he asked.

"No. It isn't. At all. You...are nothing like I expected. Like I feared, is more accurate. I mean, you aren't perfect. You're too hedonistic, you let yourself get led around by your dick too much, and you're a little reckless, but...you're a really great guy. And honestly…" She sighed and looked away for a moment, taking off her glasses and pinching her nose. "God, I'm coming off like such a bitch."

"You aren't," he said.

She laughed. "You're way too nice, that's another one. Okay, I'm just gonna say this: I didn't think I would, but I've really come to value you as a friend." She put her glasses back on. "I thought you would be Bea's cool boyfriend, but you've proven to be more than that. You get her. Weirdly, you get Mae. I know I have a shitty history with Mae, but I can see that she's someone special, and the kind of person who needs someone to watch out for her. I mean, we all need that, but she...really needs that. And I'm sorry if that's coming off like a bitch, I'm really not trying to make fun of her or put her down or anything-"

"It's okay, you're right. Even she acknowledges it. She told me...she said, in the beginning, 'Are you sure you wanna do this, dude? I'm always gonna be someone's problem'. She was honest. I think it's not as bad as she thinks it is...hopefully, and she's made a lot of progress, but it's fine. I don't think you're insulting her."

"Thanks," Jackie muttered. "What I'm trying to say is, you've been a friend to me in a way that very, very few other people have. Everyone who knows is very...at best, casual, with me. Even the polite people are anxious about saying the wrong thing and setting me off, which is partially my fault. But, I don't know, man, it's like...you get me on some level, and you just talk to me like everything's chill. The only other person who's really done that to me is Bea. I feel like I can have a real goddamned conversation with you and it isn't weird."

She paused, an awkward look coming onto her face. "There's something else I've been meaning to say, and I don't know how, so I'll just say it: I'm not into you. Maybe that's really arrogant, but I just, you know, I wanted to clear the air. I feel like you aren't really into me, which is totally cool, but I didn't want to send any kind of mixed signals, and you keep fucking most of the girls you get to know. I respect you a lot, and I think of you as a close friend at this point, but...I won't be pursuing you romantically or sexually...did I just totally fuck up the mood?" she asked.

"No," he replied, "you didn't, Jackie. I try to assume as little as possible, but I'll admit there's a part of me that was a little curious, and I'm not into you, either. I'm completely, totally happy with us being one hundred percent platonic friends."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, cool. Let's never speak of this conversation again...please?"

"Deal," he replied.

She laughed. "You're really chill. Bea's told me more than once I could take a page or two out of your book and relax. She's probably right." Jackie sighed softly. "Well, anyway, uh, I'm gonna jet before everyone else wakes up. I'm...I've had enough people for now. If it isn't obvious, it's very easy for me to get awkward and uncomfortable, even with people I trust." She turned to him suddenly and offered her hand.

He took it, shook it.

"Thanks...for being my friend, and for taking care of my best friend," she said.

"Thanks for the same thing, Jackie," he replied.

She nodded once, let go of his hand, and then walked back inside.

Trent turned back and leaned on the railing, looking out into the clearing. Some mist still clung to the ground. As he watched, a group of deer began emerging cautiously from the forest. He smiled and watched them in silence for nearly ten minutes as they fed in the clearing, drank at the creek, and then, when something finally spooked them, took off back into the forest.

There was something absolutely fantastic about nature.

He went back inside to see if the others were up yet.


"You seem a little different today," Bea murmured.

"I was about to say the same thing to you, actually," Trent replied.

"I feel a little different," she said.

"I guess I do, too...you go first."

She laughed softly, but didn't reply right away.

They were laying on top of the Telezoft build, staring at the sky, holding hands as they laid beside each other. They'd caught breakfast with Melody and exchanged contact information. She'd dropped hints that she might be interested in driving down for a 'special visit' to Possum Springs, something none of them were against at all.

Then they'd piled into the Jeep and he'd driven them home. Mae had gone back to sleep, and Ann had wanted to play games, and, feeling reflective, Trent and Bea had gone for a walk through Possum Springs. He felt strangely detached as he held her hand and walked through the small town, eventually ending up on the Telezoft rooftop.

"Okay fine, I'll go first," he said when she didn't say anything. He expected her to object, but she remained silent. "I'm feeling...weird. About having sex with Melody."

"Why?" she asked. "You seem happy enough about it."

"Don't get me wrong, I am. It's just...I don't know, in a probably very selfish way, it's frustrating. It's like...I spent years, years feeling ugly, hating myself, I mean hating myself intensely, getting rejected. Just...abject misery. And now, all of a sudden, it's like...I've had sex with half a dozen really attractive women. I'm dating three of them, and it's going, just, amazingly. That you and Mae and Ann have started dating me is insane enough as it is. But Claire? Jen? Melody? Melody's a straight fucking ten. So is Jen. Just...I don't know. I feel like I'm missing something. Could I have been having sex like this earlier? Should I have? What changed? It's not like I got in great shape or got a lot more confident and cocky all of a sudden."

"Trent," Bea said, "God...you really do have some damage," she muttered.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's not your fault, Trent. I guess I never really fully appreciated the reality of it when people said guys are hurt by toxic masculinity, too. You're, like, really amazing. And you have every reason to be really confident, and yet you still say stuff like that-most women aren't into 'cocky'. And yeah, like, on the whole, I think we'd prefer our men at least somewhat fit, or maybe I'm projecting, but health is pretty universally attractive, and I know being fit doesn't necessarily mean being healthy, but it's good enough to trick our brains into thinking 'OMG hot'. But anyway, my point-hitting the gym isn't some skeleton key to being attractive. But...to answer your question...I don't know? You got lucky, you fell into a really unique situation, and it's changing you, for the better, and opening up opportunities.

"Honestly, and this is what I was going to say, what I've been reflecting on: watching you with Melody sort of changed the way I look at you. To be clear: in a good way."

"How do you mean?" he asked uncertainly.

"The way you were with her, how good you were with her, patient and kind, you just...handled everything so well. You weren't pushy at all, you took it slow, you got her off more than once, you gave her several opportunities to bow out if she was getting uncomfortable. It was...kind of amazing to watch, honestly. You...really mean it, don't you?"

"What? Yeah, of course."

"I mean, like, if she said 'stop, I changed my mind', you'd really stop, no questions asked, and you wouldn't make her feel like shit about it or get pissed off."

"Yeah. I would. I'd never hurt her or pressure her."

"I know, and it's just-Trent, that's rarer than you think. I'm not saying every guy out there is a piece of shit who only cares about getting off and gives no fucks about the women, there's lots of great guys out there, but...it really does feel like the general population skews towards guys like Frank. I was reading this post a few days ago that was basically some woman only a few years older than you asking if she was 'overreacting', and described how her boyfriend, of two years, kept asking her for sex over and over and she didn't want to because she had a stomach ache, a bad one, but eventually he made her. He raped her. And she was asking if she was overreacting."

"That's insane."

"I know, and horribly depressing. I mean, basically everyone was like 'WTF no you aren't overreacting! Get the hell outta there! Call the police!'. But the fact that she even asked-and there's a lot of posts like that. 'My husband punched a hole in the wall, am I overreacting?'. 'My boyfriend slapped me but promised not to do it again, should I leave?'. Just-it's fucking horrifying. It's so common. But, I don't know, seeing you with Melody, with us, it's just...I really do feel like you'd never hurt me, you'd never pressure me or anyone into anything we didn't want to do. And I believed all this before, I guess more accurately: it hasn't changed my feelings for you so much as deepened them."

She paused and then laughed suddenly. "It sounds totally fucking insane, but watching you have sex with another woman made me realize that I love you even more than I thought I did, and I'm really committed to this relationship. If you asked me to marry you right now, I'd say yes. There was a while there where I wasn't sure about the longevity of the relationship, but...no. Not anymore. I don't want to leave this relationship ever. To be clear-I will if it ever stops working, but...it sounds so fucking cliché, but I really do want to grow old with you."

"Wow," he murmured.

"I'm-no, actually, you know what, I'm not sorry if this is heavy. We're adults. We're in a relationship, in love. I won't be sorry for having serious conversations with people I care about."

"I really respect you for that," he said.

She laughed. "Such a fucking weirdo." She leaned over and kissed him suddenly. "I really thought about what matters in life, what I should tie my life to. For awhile I thought it was college, a good job, but not anymore. Like I said, I still want to go to college, but I want to dedicate myself to this relationship, to my relationship and my household with you and Mae and Ann. And I still want to help people. I want to build a little community of friends, and I want to have good relationships, and I want to do work that helps people somehow. But I'm not scared of tying myself to you. I respect you, and I love you, and I...believe in us."

"I believe in us, too, Bea," he said, almost feeling like his heart was being squeezed by the sheer emotional intensity of the conversation.

The moment was broken up by a door slamming open somewhere below. "No! Goddamnit! I can't do it anymore! I can't! I'm going to lose my mind!" They both look at each other.

"Is that…"

"That's Claire," Trent said. They both stood up.

"You can't just walk out! What are you going to do!? You'll be fired!"

"I don't care!"

"Claire?!"

"...Trent? What the fuck, where are you?!" she called, looking around.

"Up!"

They poked their heads over the edge of the building. Both of the figures turned around and looked up. "Oh my God, what the hell are you doing up there!?"

"Hey, you can't be up there!" the other person, a cat with glasses, declared.

"Why?" Bea called back.

He paused for a long moment, seemingly stymied, then returned his attention to Claire. "Honey, you have bills to pay-"

"Jeff...can you not call me that? I've asked you before, and it's just-it's weirding me out. Just-ugh!"

"Sorry, I just call some people that..." he said.

"Maybe you shouldn't." She sighed heavily. "Listen, I appreciate what you're saying, but I am going to straight up go fucking Falling Down psycho if I don't leave right now and I don't fucking care if I get fired, I can't fucking take this shit anymore!"

"I think she's having a day like that one you had when you lost it and wailed on a tree with a bat and then cried," Trent murmured.

"Yeah...we should help her."

"We should."

"I...I have to go back to work. Please think about it," the cat said.

"Go, Jeff. I'll be fine, just...don't worry about me."

He lingered for a moment, then went back inside.

"Claire! We're coming down! We're gonna help you!"

"What the fu-okay, hurry up!" she replied.

Trent and Bea got up and headed for the ladder attached to the rear of the building.