Chapter 5

Renesmee

I'd been on airplanes before for short, direct flights, but nothing like this. It took a little over 23 hours to fly from Vancouver to Toronto, Toronto to Sao Paulo, Brazil, and then finally Sao Paulo to a tiny airstrip in Manaus, Brazil.

The hardest part (of the flying portion of the journey, anyway) was being without my cellphone, and more specifically, my music. I'd given it to my parents to take back with them to the island. They'd objected at first, of course. I'd anticipated that, which is why I brought the satellite phone. Satisfied that I would be reachable, my mom slipped my cell into her pocket before we said our emotional goodbyes.

I very much doubted I would have cell service where I was going, but just in case there was, I couldn't be reachable to Jacob. If I had to read his worried texts or listen to his panicked voicemails, I knew I would just turn right around and go home, and I really didn't want to do that.

The guilt about what this would do to him was eating me up, but I couldn't let it detract me from my purpose. If I wanted my father or Jacob or anyone else to stop treating me like a child in an adult's body, I couldn't go running back to the island because my sort-of boyfriend was having Nessie withdrawals. And definitely not because I was scared.

And I was definitely scared. I only had a vague idea of how to find Zafrina and her sisters based on the instructions she gave me when I was barely 6 months old. From the airport, I took a taxi to Manaus Base Camp. From the Base Camp, speaking fluent Portuguese that my father taught me one weekend (I'd have to thank him later), I purchased a ticket to ride a riverboat and traveled 20 kilometers southeast to where the dark blue waters of the Rio Negro ran alongside the muddy, light-colored waters of the Rio Solimões. Although the rivers intersected, the differently-hued waters didn't mix. Instead, they slithered stubbornly alongside each other for miles, forming a polychromatic stretch of river that is visible from space.

When I got to the "Meeting of the Waters" as Zafrina had called it, there would be a small peninsula created by the fork where the two rivers met. If I made it to that peninsula, walked twenty paces into the thick vegetation, and called her name, she would find me.

"Here goes nothin'" I muttered to myself as I began counting the twenty paces into the jungle, using the side of my hand in place of a machete to chop back the vines and spiky palm fronds that got in my way.

I tried to ignore how uncomfortable I felt in the sweltering heat but more the humidity, and also how gross my dampened clothes felt stuck to my body. Unlike my full-vampire parents, I was warm-blooded and susceptible to the weather. Not as susceptible as a human, which only further demonstrated how oppressively hot the Amazon was. I swiped the back of my hand across my forehead which was slick with perspiration, an unfortunate byproduct of being half-human. I longed for a hot shower but knew I wasn't likely going to get one anytime soon.

As I took in my wild surroundings, watching a caiman drag the twitching body of an unlucky capybara into the murky water, I found myself wondering why human tourists would go so far out of their way to visit a place that wanted nothing more to kill them. The insects. The predators. Hell, even the plants could be lethal.

Clearing my throat, I cupped my hands around my mouth and called, "Zafrina," in a loud, clear voice that echoed through the dense vegetation, a sea of green so vast with a canopy so thick that I could scarcely see the sky. I supposed that was certainly one way to avoid being seen in the sunlight

Ten long seconds passed. I waited, still and as silent as stone, waiting for some sign of movement in the trees to alert me of her presence. A little unsure now, I opened my mouth to call her name a second time when Zafrina's harsh, accented voice called out to me from somewhere hidden in the trees.

"Who are you? And how do you me?" the voice asked.

In a shaky voice, I called in the direction that she seemed to be coming from. "Zafrina, it's me, Renesmee. I'm Carlisle's granddaughter. You helped my parents talk the Volturi into not killing me," I reminded her in an impressively offhanded tone.

"Lies! Renesmee is a child," Zafrina growled menacingly.

"I grew up, Zafrina. If you come out, I can show you," I held my hand up and fluttered my fingers in invitation.

After a brief pause, the leaves in the trees rustled slightly. And then I saw the lithe shape of her tall, robust body, with disproportionately long, powerful limbs gracefully swinging down to the ground from a high branch of a towering jungle tree. It had impressive outstretched boughs and thick, sprawling, serpentine roots that tentacled out from the base of the trunk, making it look like one giant talon clawing into the shallow soil.

Zafrina landed on her feet with barely a sound, so close to me that I could reach out and touch her if I dared. She was exactly as I remembered her, dressed in furs and animal hides with beautiful dark skin and feral, blood-red eyes.

Wordlessly, I slowly raised my hand in the space between us, holding it there just inches from her face. She gave me a long, scrutinizing look before she took my hand and pressed it to her cheek.

She closed her eyes as I showed her my memories of her from when I was a small child, and the time we spent together back in Forks, followed by a highlight reel of the last seven years of my life growing up as the 9th member of the Cullen clan.

When the memory reel came to an end, I withdrew my hand as her eyes snapped open. In place of the fearsome glare that she had greeted me with, her eyes and face softened into a warm expression of fondness and recognition.

Wrapping her arms around me in a tight squeeze, Zafrina fawned "Renesmee! Meu Deus! How can this be?!"

I smiled. "It's kind of a long story…" I began, tucking a sweat-dampened strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I have time," she told me with a patient smile. Then she linked her arm through mine, and with a slight bend of her knees, she catapulted us both into the canopy.

Edward

It had been a tense run home after leaving the airport. Bella would barely even look at me, despite my attempts to apologize. Though to be honest, I wasn't really sure what exactly I was sorry for. Renesmee's pain was collateral damage from the tempestuous relationship I shared with the odorous object of her affection. And I hated that I was responsible for any part of her suffering, but I didn't see how it could be helped.

The wounds between Jacob and me ran too deep. Even if I could forget how he'd tried to steal away my reason for existing, he had then gone and barnacled himself to my family, never to be pried off and tossed overboard unless I wanted to lose my daughter, too. And since I loved my daughter too much to cut her in half, as the old biblical tale went, I had no choice but to allow the irksome (and did I mention odorous?) nuisance to follow our family around like the stray mutt I didn't have the heart to take to the pound.

And Jacob's…affliction was not without consequences to the rest of the family. Alice and Jasper had to get their own place, not far away, but far enough that Jacob's continued presence wouldn't keep interfering with her visions. Though to be fair, Renesmee was just as unintentionally responsible for Alice's headaches and the holes in her vision.

It would seem that the far-reaching consequences of my calamitous decision to try to force Bella to stay human would haunt me with perpetuity. If not for Jacob, my wife wouldn't be furious with me, my favorite sister wouldn't have moved out, and my daughter wouldn't be hacking her way through some godforsaken jungle on some quest for independence. But, of course, I knew who was really to blame for all of my problems.

In a pleading voice, I tried again. "Bella, love. Please. What can I do?"

"Edward…" Bella started and then stopped, seeming to carefully choose her words. Though she needn't have said anything else. The undertones of disappointment and exasperation I could hear in the way she said my name flayed me to the core.

"What was it that you said that day in the meadow?" With a faraway look in her pale ochre eyes, Bella dropped her shield as she reached for a dim human memory.

"I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you, though it's only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply time and time again…'

Then, grasping my chin between her thumb and forefinger, she nudged my downcast face upward so that I had to meet her fiery gaze. "Haven't you learned by now that nothing good happens when you try to force your idea of what's right on other people? You strong-armed me into marrying you at 18–which I'll never regret. But let's face it, Edward, you've got some hangups about now you're doing the same thing to our daughter.

"So, tell me, what outcome is it that you're hoping for exactly? That they'll marry first before he sets a finger on her?" But she didn't pause to let me reply, not anywhere near done. "And what is an appropriate marrying age for someone like Renesmee, anyway? I guess while we're discussing marrying age we should probably talk about how many goats to put in her dowry," she lambasted in a flat, icy tone.

Through clenched teeth, in a voice that took great effort to keep even and calm, I replied. "I don't think that's a fair characterization. That very day in the meadow that you're referencing I told you we could do things your way–no strings attached. You wanted to go through with a wedding for your parents' sake, so please don't make it sound like I–"

"Fine. Perhaps strong-armed was too strong a word," she admitted. "But I don't hear you refuting anything else I said," she stubbornly huffed, crossing her arms tightly against her chest.

Throwing my hands up in the air in frustration and sighing heavily, I blustered in a voice thick with sarcasm, "You've got me, there, Bella! I'm such a monster because I don't think it's appropriate for an infatuated 23-year-old man to be–"

Bella's eyes widened with incredulity. "Holy hypocrisy, Batman!" she hotly cut me off.

Narrowing my eyes at her, I retorted in a voice that was steadily increasing in intensity, "Alright, Bella, since I'm always wrong, we'll do things your way. When we get back home, I'll pull the boy aside, shove a strip of condoms in his shirt pocket, and tell Jacob to just put a sock on the doorknob when Renesmee's going to miss dinner," I spat.

Bella wound up and slapped me hard, the stinging force of it snapping my face to one side.

As the loud crack echoed through the trees, we both stood there frozen, speechless, and stunned. Bella's expression softened into one that looked like regret.

"Edward, I–"

I shook my head, interrupting the apology that I knew was coming. With a weak half-smile, I murmured in an apologetic tone, "Don't, love. I deserved that. It was unforgivable of me."

"It was unforgivable of me, too," Bella frowned with a worried "v" etched between her brows. Smoothing it away with the tip of a finger, I then pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head, uttering in a low, since voice, "You're forgiven. I could forgive you anything."

"Ditto," Bella sighed, and I felt some of the tension dissipate from her shoulders as she hugged me back. Then tilting her head back to look up at me, she asked in an anxious voice, "But what now? It isn't as if we've solved anything."

Pursing my lips, I made a thoughtful expression as I considered that. "Let's make a deal, hmm? I will promise to make an appreciable effort to remember what year I'm in. And in return, you will make an appreciable effort to remember what century I'm from?" I proposed with a soft smile.

"Sounds fair," Bella agreed mildly and stretched up on her tiptoes for a kiss which I enthusiastically obliged. When the kiss came to its natural conclusion, instead of pulling away entirely, she turned to press a soft, lingering kiss on the cheek she had struck. I felt myself smile a little as she did.

Then, sinking back down onto her heels, Bella exhaled loudly and grumpily lamented, "Now let's go home and get this over with. I'm not going to be able to enjoy makeup sex with you until Jacob has been informed."

In a husky whisper, I purred, "Oh, I bet you could," as I let my hands roam over her soft, feminine curves. "I'd make sure of that."

"As tempting as that sounds, it'll be bad enough delivering the news to Jacob that Renesmee is halfway around the world by now without also reeking like sex," Bella sensibly declined as she reluctantly detangled herself from my arms.

With a wolfish grin, I chuckled darkly. "Speak for yourself!" then raced ahead, setting a blistering pace.

Bella

Jake in his human form was pacing a hole in the front porch of the main Cullen residence when Edward and I finally appeared through the treeline that bordered the Vancouver Island property.

He didn't even bother to wait until we made it to the house, instead meeting us halfway up the grassy hill that separated the main residence from the cottage Edward, Renesmee, and I occupied. (Jacob had his own little cabin on the far side of the property).

Jake's eyes darted a bit frantically between Edward and me. "There are only two of you. Why are there only two of you?" he demanded, vainly looking over my shoulder in hopes that Renesmee would appear through the trees behind us.

"Hey, Jake, nice to see you, too," I muttered a bit snarkily. "So, here's the thing…"

Immediately suspicious of my tone, Jacob stepped into my personal space and fumed, "Why don't I like the sound of that, Bella?"

"Watch your tone, mongrel," Edward warned, stepping protectively in between Jake and me.

Jacob growled at Edward who growled back, sounding twice as deadly. The two were now chest to chest and glaring at each other.

Putting a hand on each of them, I ordered, "Cut it out, you two! This is so unnecessary! Jake, Renesmee isn't here because she decided she needed to take some time for herself. She'll be back in a few days. A week, tops," I told him in as offhanded of a tone as I could manage.

"A WEEK!" he bellowed, his dark eyes bulging with alarm, his breath sounds becoming shallower and more ragged, and his blood pressure beginning to surge. Then in a voice that was more anxious than angry, he peppered us with questions, "What does that even mean? Where is she? Why didn't she tell me herself? And you let her go off alone?" Accusation seeped into his tone for that last one. Gritting my teeth, I ignored that.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I told him sincerely. "I know this is difficult for you. I hate that she's gone, too. But there was nothing we could do to talk her out if it. Trust me, we tried."

"What exactly did she say?" Jake asked in a desperate-sounding whimper.

Edward used his perfect recall to quote Renesmee in the emotionless voice he usually reserved for when he was repeating someone else's thoughts that were not his own. Using air quotes, he recited, "It's just been kind of weird with Jacob, lately. He doesn't know how to be with me now that I've reached physical maturity. I can tell he feels weird about my age…I just need a little room to breathe. I'm so tired of feeling like jailbait. Like there's something perverse about loving me."

Jacob visibly deflated at hearing Renesmee's words. It was painful to watch. His proud, broad shoulders hunched inward, his fisted palms went limp at his sides, and his eyes, glistening with unshed tears, fell sightlessly to the ground.

Sounding like he'd had the wind knocked out of him, and with a voice that cracked with emotion, Jacob finally replied, "I–I was just trying to give her time and space to grow up…without pressure to…"

"I know," I told him, patting him consolingly on the arm. "And while Edward and I have always appreciated that, I think Renesmee feels a little…infantilized and this is her loud splashy way of asserting her independence." Then, looking from Jake to Edward, I concluded in a pointed tone, "Going forward, I think she'll be much happier if we all agree to treat her in accordance with her mental age and cognitive abilities rather than her chronological age."

"In plain English?" Jacob huffed, crossing his thick arms across his chest, making his biceps bulge and the tight sleeves of his t-shirt protest the strain.

"It means you don't have to treat her with kid gloves anymore, dog. Just…love her and follow Nessie's lead, and you have my word, you won't hear any grievances from me," Edward explained a bit gruffly.

Jacob's eyebrows raised and his mouth fell slightly open, clearly not expecting that. Then he seemed to remember that Renesmee was gone and his face crumpled all over again.

"Where is she?" he asked again. "I have to talk to her."

"I'm afraid that's not possible, " I told him regretfully, showing him Renesmee's phone that I dug out of my pocket. He looked at it with horror, as if I was holding her beating heart in my hand. "You don't need to worry. She'll be perfectly safe. She went to visit Zafrina, from the Amazon coven. But Jake, before you get any crazy ideas, you'd never find her, ok? Not before she comes home on her own, so you might as well just stay here and wait, ok? Or why not go spend the time visiting your dad? I know he misses you," I told him gently.

Jacob nodded mutely as he squeezed through the narrow space between Edward and me, though I wasn't sure how much he actually heard. Edward and I turned to watch Jacob lope somewhat unsteadily toward the southern treeline where he phased and disappeared into the woods with a deafening howl. I placed a hand over my silent heart, feeling the fresh heartache radiate off my friend in waves.

Wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulder, Edward reassured me, "It'll be ok, love. It's just a few days. And then everything will get straightened out when Nessie gets back."

I nodded, though, for some reason, his reassurances did nothing to soothe my anxiety. As we started the short back walk to our cottage, I numbly replied, "I hope you're right."

Author's Note: Whew! That was far and away the spiciest fight I've ever written between Bella and Edward and I'm still a little shook by it. 😳 (And also looking forward to the making up. *perverted eyebrow waggle* )

As always, I hope you'll check out my discord for updates about my upcoming original novel "But Where Would They Live?" It will be the first book in a trilogy—very loosely inspired by my "She's My Blackberry Pie" twi-fic series. I can't wait for you all to read it! The link is on my Twitter page accessible from the link posted in my profile. (It's the only way FF will let me post it ) Thanks for reading and reviewing! Can't wait to hear what you think!