Evan and I walked back to the house together, and went into the kitchen thru the back door. The kitchen was abuzz with noise and

McFaddens, talking, drinking coffee, and slicing pieces of a coffee cake that was sitting on the counter.

Hannah paused in her busied movements around the room. "Evan, there's eggs and bacon on the stove-"

"Thanks, Hannah," Evan said, going around me to reach the sink and began washing his hands.

"Have you eaten?" she asked me, then.

"Yes, earlier," I told her.

She nodded, and smiled at me. I waited a couple of moments as some of the family began to clear out of the room. Evan fixed his plate,

heaped full, and headed towards the living room. Without saying anything, I began to help Hannah put things away, in the refrigerator. Clare

came in from the direction of the living room, carrying plates in one hand, and with two coffee cups dangling from her fingers on the other hand.

"Your coffee cake's a success," Clare told Hannah, setting the plates and cups on the counter near the sink.

"Here's the other one," Hannah gestured.

"Any sign of Jill?" Hannah asked Clare, sort of quietly.

"Daniel's gone up to get her now."

Hannah nodded in response, without saying anything.

"Are we doing the dishes now?" I asked.

Hannah laid a hand on my back, patting softly. "No, sweetie, we'll do them later. Let's go and hear what Jill has to say."

The three of us walked to the living room together. I was curious, of course, but I was sort of anxious, too. Brian was sitting on one of

the couches, next to Clare, his arm rested along the back of the couch, near her shoulders. He patted the spot left beside him on his other

side.

"Come sit here by me, peach," he said, sort of quietly.

I went gladly, to sit beside him, and he rested his other arm around my shoulders now, one around Clare and one around me.

I folded my hands together, on my lap, as everybody else milled around, finding their own spots to sit. Evan and Nancy were sharing the

oversized chair, and Adam and Hannah were sitting on the other couch. Crane sat on the piano bench, leaning forward slightly, his hands

folded. Guthrie was perched on the floor, a glass of juice in his hand. Jill came down the stairs, followed by Daniel, who I guess had gone

up to get her or something.

Jill was walking slowly, Daniel's hand on the small of her back. As I got a good look at her face, it was obvious that she was emotional. I think

she'd been crying, but she was one of those girls who only looked better after crying. Not like me. When I cried, my face got all blotchy, and ugly.

Jill, on the other hand, managed to look still good, her olive skin not blotchy, or her nose red.

She was nervous acting, though. She kept tucking her hair behind one ear.

Daniel gestured to one of the empty recliners, intending for Jill to sit down. She did, and he settled himself on the arm of the chair, taking one

of her hands in his. Daniel looked serious, almost stoic, I thought. It was obvious that he was going to 'have Jill's back' in this

conversation, whatever it was about.

"Talk time," Daniel said, lightly, as if he was trying to lift the mood.

Adam gave an encouraging nod, and Hannah gave Daniel a sympathetic, small smile.

So, then, there was silence. Which for our large group, all in one room, is saying something indeed. No one broke the quiet.

Daniel looked down a bit at Jill. "You wanna start?" he asked.

At Jill's hesitation, Daniel said, softly, "I can-"

Suddenly, JIll seemed to gather herself up, and she sat up a little bit straighter. She rubbed her hands on the legs of her jeans, as if they

were sweaty. "No," she told Daniel, looking up towards him. "I will."

Daniel nodded, and I thought he squeezed her hand in encouragement.

Jill's voice, when she did begin talking, was not loud by any means, but it was strong.

"I've known the guys that were here-Chess, and Leo-for awhile. Leo was actually in one of the same foster homes that I was

in at one time. They came here, looking for me, because they knew about Daniel-I never told them, exactly-"

"It wasn't difficult for them to ask around, find out where I'm from," Daniel said.

"Right," Jill said, in agreement. "I just didn't think they'd really come all that way to find me-" her voice tapered off a bit. "I know they're

not good guys or anything, but I didn't think they'd go to all that trouble, just for the-" Here, she paused totally.

Jill looked down at her hands, which she was still rubbing up and down on the legs of her jeans.

Into the brief silence, Brian said, "You owe them money?" which was, I thought, a logical assumption.

"No. I don't," Jill said, immediately, strongly, looking at Brian. Then, she seemed to lose some of her pluck. "I don't owe them money. But, I'm

keeping them from money."

"What does that mean?" Adam asked, sounding impatient. Hannah laid a hand on his leg. To calm him, I knew.

Jill looked downward, and said, "You've all been so kind to me. I really appreciate that. I've never felt like part of a family-and you all made

me feel like I was-" she paused, and looked up and around the room. "I'll never forget that."

Behind me, I could tell Brian was tapping his fingers on the back of the couch. Nobody could hear it, of course, because of the cushion, except for me.

And I could feel it, too. I knew he was getting impatient. Irritated. He wanted Jill to just get on with it. I looked at Adam and Hannah. Adam was watching Jill with a steady, unblinking gaze, though Hannah was smiling at her in a small way.

"I have to say some things to you all. The things I have to say are going to make you hate me. Hate like you've never hated anyone

before-" At that, Jill's eyes filled with fresh tears, and she raised her hands. I thought she was going to use her hands to cover her

face. Instead, she folded her hands into fists, and used her knuckles to wipe at her cheeks.

Daniel rubbed circles on her shoulder. "Babe, don't," he said, leaning down closer to Jill.

"We won't hate you," Hannah said. "No matter what it's all about, we won't."

Jill lowered her hands, and seemed to focus on Hannah, and then Jill said something so softly that it was hard to hear. But, I thought it was,

"You might be surprised."

Then she stiffened her spine, and sat up straight again. Folding her hands together, she said, "The guy I was with before I met Daniel, he

wasn't a very good guy. He and Leo actually have a lot in common. Anyway, I did care about him. I thought he cared about me, too-I'm not

a slut, no matter how it seems."

I drew my breath in swiftly, shocked at Jill's declaration, and the way that she said it.

"I thought when I told him about the baby-that he would step up and be a part of it, even though that would be entirely against his

character and personality-but of course he didn't want to. He suggested, strongly, that I dispose of the baby."

Abortion? I caught my breath even harder, and Brian brought his arm down so that it was actually around my shoulders.

"He disappeared pretty soon after that, and there was a rough couple of weeks. I was sick at first, and I didn't have much

money. I'd been working as a bartender, but Mike-that's the guy I was seeing, he'd raised such a ruckus in there a couple of times,

that my boss said he had to let me go, because Mike would come in and we'd argue and it would get out of hand-" Jill hesitated, as

if she had to get her thoughts straight again. "So, I didn't have a job any longer, and not much savings. Mike was gone, and I had no idea at all

what to do. I don't have any family-you all know that, and my friends, well, those are few."

Jill took a deep breath. "I didn't see any way at first that I could take care of a baby by myself. With no money, and noone to help

me." Jill looked sort of pleadingly at the group of us. "I panicked. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I did. Full-blown panic. I ran into

Leo one day, and I made the mistake of telling him what was going on. That I was pregnant, and had no money, and-" Jill hesitated.

"Leo said he knew some people." Here she stopped talking altogether. Longer than just a few moments.

I actually felt as though I wanted to lean forward and yell at Jill and say, "What people? What did these people want?"

Daniel took over. "The people Leo was talkin' about, was a couple that wanted to adopt a baby. Jill was thinking about doin' that-placing the

baby for adoption to this couple. They're well off, and all that-

I found myself looking at Clare, and at Hannah, too. Clare looked startled, as though she was holding her breath, sort of. Hannah looked

shocked, and then she changed her facial expression, trying to look more neutral.

Even I knew that money didn't account for everything important in a kid's life. I guess Jill thought we were all judging her big time, because

she said, in a harder tone of voice, "Money is important. I couldn't have offered the baby anything-not at that time. I knew it was more important

that she have everything she needed." Jill referred to the baby as a girl. I wondered if that was wishful hoping.

"You can all sit there and think the worst of me-" Jill said, sounding defensive, and Adam's voice overrode hers.

"None of us are doin' that, Jill." His voice was firm. Steady.

Jill's eyes seemed to meet Adam's, and after a couple of moments, she gave a brief nod. As if acknowledging what Adam had said.

"Anyway, Leo was talking to this couple about the baby. They didn't want to go thru an adoption agency any longer. They'd been waiting for a

long time for a baby, I guess, and they thought this would be a quicker way. I was supposed to meet them and stuff, but before that-I met

Daniel." At that, Jill's face softened. The hard, angry lines disappeared, at least for the moment. She rubbed her hands up and down on the legs

of her jeans again. "And, after that, things started to seem different. I got a job at the club Daniel was working at, and-and I told Daniel about the

baby right off."

"Yeah, she did," Daniel said, quietly, reaching down to take Jill's hand again.

"I didn't tell him right off about the other part-that I was thinking of letting the baby be adopted, and I didn't tell him about Leo, not right away," she

added.

"It wasn't long before you told me," Daniel said, in defense.

"No," Jill said, in agreement. "It wasn't."

Jill looked thoughtful, as though she was reaching back into her memory, so she could continue. Guthrie, sitting on the floor near to my feet and legs,

gave my leg a nudge with one elbow. He didn't look at me, just nudged me like that, as if to say, "what in the holy heck is happening?"

I responded by veering my leg to the left and nudging his side. A silent, "I know, right?"

"The couple gave Leo some money to give to me, for living expenses and stuff," Jill said. "I know I shouldn't have taken it until I was sure, but

I was running so low on money, and it's before I got the job at Daniel's club-" She shrugged her shoulders lightly.

Into the next ensuing silence, Crane said quietly, "It couldn't have been that much for you to be in deep. You can return the money to them."

Jill looked upwards at Daniel as if for encouragement. "It was more than you might think," Jill said.

"A few hundred?" Brian asked, sounding impatient. "They came all the way to California for a couple of hundred dollars?"

"It wasn't so much that," Jill said. She looked at Daniel again, and he spoke next.

"They're here, or were here, to convince Jill to go back with them to Tennessee," Daniel said. "Leo was going to profit from Jill letting the

baby be adopted by that couple. Sort of a-finder's fee. He got paid upfront, and he was going to get more throughtout the pregnancy. Then, when

the baby actually was placed with the couple he knew, he would have been paid a big sum of money. Jill, too."

"It's like selling your baby," Nancy said, sounding horrified.

"Nanc," Evan said, really quietly, to hush her.

Nancy looked sorry she'd blurted out like that, but she met Jill's gaze straight on.

"I wasn't going to sell my baby," Jill said, sounding defensive. "I told you, I didn't know what I was going to do. Even when I agreed to think about it,

and even when I took the money from the couple, I still didn't really think I was going to let them have my baby. I just needed time to think, and I needed

money to survive while I did think."

I looked to my right at Brian. He had a stony expression on his face.

"It sounds dishonest, I know that," Jill said, and then looked directly at Nancy. "But, I wasn't going to sell her. I thought maybe they could

give her a good life, so she didn't end up like me. If I hadn't met Daniel, and I'd tried to raise her alone-I probably would have failed at it. She might

have ended up in foster care, like I did as a kid." Jill straightened her back, and said, sounding fierce, "I would do anything, anything, to keep my

child out of the foster care system. It's broken, and it's horrible-" she stopped and drew a deep sigh.

Nancy looked subdued, as if she was sorry for what she'd said. I found myself feeling sympathy for Jill. Sorrowful.

"You changed your mind," Adam said. "You hadn't even made a definite promise, right? You shouldn't have taken the money, alright, but

you give it back, give the couple a phone call, and apologize to them. Tell them you changed your mind."

"It's not that easy," Jill said.

"Why isn't it?" Brian demanded. "Adam's making sense."

"Leo doesn't take no for an answer," Jill said. "You might think you and Crane got the best of him, but he doesn't give up. This is his chance

to make some real money-"

"Bullshit," Brian said.

"Was there a written agreement?" Adam asked. "Did you sign anything?"

Jill's cheeks flushed with color. "Yeah. I did. I had to, before Leo would give me the money for my living expenses."

"It wouldn't be legal," Crane said. "A lawyer would have had to draw it up."

"It doesn't matter that it's not legal," Jill said. "Leo wants me to go with him."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Jill," Hannah spoke up.

"Thank you, Hannah," Jill said, with a small smile. "But I've brought trouble here. Daniel thought it would be alright, coming here

with him. We thought we could take some time, think things out about what was best to do-but it's been nothing but a mess."

"Jill-" Daniel began, but Jill waved a hand at him.

"No, Daniel, it's alright. Let me say it." Jill fastened her gaze on the entire room.

"I was fairly sure that Leo would come, eventually, to try and get me to go back with him. I'm not the first girl he's done this sort of deal with. He

knows it's got money in it. Anyway-Daniel said he'd never come all this way, but I knew he would. I know what sort of person Leo is."

"You don't need to be afraid, Jill," Brian said. "There's enough of us to make sure he leaves and stays gone."

"I know you really believe that, Brian," Jill said. "But, Leo won't give up. I don't want any of you to pay for my mistakes any longer. It's best

if I go."

"We," Daniel said, and now I understood the conversation I'd heard earlier at the breakfast table. Daniel planned to go with Jill, and none of

the other guys wanted him to go.

"That's ridiculous," Adam said, leaning forward.

"That's right," Brian said. "This is the good old U.S. of A. Nobody has to leave to go anywhere unless they want to. Daniel, you're not thinkin' straight."

"I am thinkin' straight," Daniel argued. "This guy-"

"Some punk," Brian snorted, in derision.

"He killed someone, Brian," Jill said, in a quiet tone.

There was dead silence after that. After a long, long, few tense moments, Jill said, "He ran a guy over with his car. Intentionally. He just kept

backing up and going forward, and then back again, until he crushed him." Her voice was a monotone, as if she was reading a recipe.

I pressed my hand to my mouth in horror.

"Did he go to prison?" Guthrie asked, as if he was waiting for the next scene in a horror movie.

"Yeah. He did. For five years," Jill said.

"How do ya know he did that?" Guthrie asked. "Kept backing up and forth, I mean."

"Guthrie," Hannah said, sounding horrified at Guthrie's questioning.

Guthrie shot Hannah a look, and then said, "Sorry," to Jill.

Jill shook her head at his apology. "It's okay. I was almost thirteen. And I know, because I was with him when he did it."

"Holy crap," Evan muttered.

"The story of my life," Jill said. "It's like an onion. You peel away a layer, but there's always another one, underneath, that's even more

shocking and horrible."

"Oh, Jill," Hannah said, her voice full of sorrow. Hannah's eyes were filled with tears. "What a tough time you've had-"

"Yeah," Jill said, in agreement. "It's been tough. Alot of it I brought on myself, though. I know that. I make mistakes like other

people eat M & M's."

"Do you love Daniel?" Adam asked, outright, his tone brusque.

To her credit, Jill didn't falter or lower her eyes. "Yes, Adam, I do."

"Do you want that baby?" Adam asked now, still abrupt. Gruffly.

Jill nodded. "Yeah. I do," she said, emotion in her voice.

"Then that's all there is to it," Adam said, with finality.

That did it for Jill. She smiled at Adam thru shiny tears. "I'd like to give you a hug, Adam," she said.

Adam smiled a half-smile. "You can," he said, and moved forward, intent on standing up.

"Before you stand up, and before you let me give you that hug," Jill said. "There's one more thing you should all know."

"Okay," Adam said, settling back a bit again. Waiting.

Waiting. We all were waiting. I found myself holding my breath again.

"I got married when I was seventeen. It was right after Leo got out of prison. I'm actually still married." Jill licked her lips. "To Leo."

Seven