Xikira finished her mission fast, then went to Twilight Town alone.
She'd had an idea. A...stroke of inspiration, really. And a bit of a bet.
She bought two sea salt ice creams, and went up to the clocktower to wait. A bit of ice magic froze them good and solid.
And she waited.
It was a long time with herself, but eventually...
Light footsteps on stone, and flaming red hair rounded the corner.
Axel froze. "Xikira? What on earth are you doing up here?"
She smiled at him, holding up an ice cream stick. "Waiting for you. I've only done this twice with Roxas, but he told me you guys did it all the time. So I thought...well, he's gone now, and we both miss him, so why not do this together?"
Axel stared at her, frowning. Then he came and sat beside her, taking the ice cream from her.
They ate in silence.
It wasn't like the comfortable silences with Roxas at all.
After a while, Axel glanced at her. He hesitated, then said, "Xemnas...you heard him the other day: he's given me orders to find Roxas. Bring him back."
"If he left on his own, he won't," Xikira said plainly. "I hope, anyways. And I hope he never does. He deserves better! He deserves a life!" Just like I do!
Axel looked at her strangely. Or like she was strange. Then he sighed. "Yeah, he does..."
"Xemnas also said to kill him if he refuses to come back," Xikira said quietly. "Would you really do it? Can you?"
Axel flinched, looking away. "Those are the orders. If I say no, he'll destroy me too."
"Then why don't you leave and go be with Roxas?" Xikira said. "Problem solved."
Axel laughed, shaking his head. "No, not problem solved. It isn't that simple, ya know."
"Yes it is. Wouldn't you rather be out there with your best friend instead of stuck here, being forced to hunt him down? It sounds like an easy choice to me."
Axel continued to avoid her gaze. His ice cream slipped in his grasp. "It's not that simple," he repeated quietly. Bitterly.
"Yes it is, you just don't want to see it-!"
Axel stood, dropping the ice cream over the edge. He stared out at the sunset for a long, silent minute. "Look, thanks for this - but don't wait up here for me again. I won't come back. We're not making this a thing. This was mine and Roxas's thing, got it memorized?" He turned and strode away from her quickly.
"Aeleus was right: you are just a coward!" Xikira called out furiously. "You run away from everything!"
Axel stopped just before he was to disappear around the corner. She heard a gasp, she saw his fists clench...then he disappeared from sight.
"Thanks for PROVING MY POINT!" she yelled after him, even more loudly.
But there was still only silence.
When she got back to the castle, she spent her time drawing. Finding more memories of Kairi's, Sora's, and Riku's.
New and interesting ones.
She drew them, setting page after page aside. A nice, new stack.
She didn't realize how late it was until Xigbar arrived.
"Why can't you just come and see me during the day, like before?" Xikira complained.
"Because we're down enough members that it'd be even more obvious what I'm doing," Xigbar replied. "You thin out the crowd, and that leaves bigger gaps for people to peek through."
She sat there, hunched over her desk. She realized she was tense. She breathed and tried to relax.
"Rough day?" he said casually.
"Yes. The mission sucked, and I tried to talk to Axel about Roxas but he ran away like a coward."
Xigbar made a noise of surprise. "You know, your initiative never fails to impress me, princess. Like yesterday, in the big meeting."
"You didn't look impressed by me then," Xikira retorted.
"I was - but I was mainly just worried for you," he admitted quietly. "You know how many people have talked back to the boss and gotten away with it, squeaky clean? Questioned him like that?"
"No."
"One. And that'd be you, as of yesterday."
"So?"
Xigbar laughed for some reason, shaking his head. "Guess that's how you get away with being so brazen, isn't it? You don't even know any better to begin with..."
"Or maybe I just don't care."
He frowned, cocking his head down at her. "Hey...what would you say to getting out for a while? An hour or two. We could hit the town - Twilight Town."
Xikira glanced up at him. "Okay." She pushed away from her desk and stood.
After wandering the mall for a while - buying a new dress (a short, strapless green one that didn't reach half-way to her knees), actually going into the arcades section to play a few games (which Xikira was miserable at) - they went to Xikira's favorite ice cream shop on the upper floors.
They found a table in the corner. Xikira sat down on one side, and Xigbar sat across from her.
He didn't have anything; Xikira had her favorite sundae.
She ate it slowly, savoring every bite.
Xigbar just watched her.
When she was half finished with her dessert, Xikira finally looked up at him. Meeting his gaze that never seemed to leave her tonight.
"Is this your way of apologizing for yesterday?" she spoke quietly.
He looked surprised. Then, embarrassed. "Yeah...yeah, it is. I'll say it again if you need me to: I'm sorry about that. Listen, I'm just not..." Xigbar trailed off, looking away. He sat back in his seat with a big sigh, slumping down in it lazily. "I've lived a long, loooong life, and it's been one I've lived alone - off by myself. I keep to myself. You had it right, when we first met, and you told me I'd been that way...way too long. I suppose what I'm getting at here is that I'm still not exactly used to...letting anybody get in as close to my Heart as I've been letting you get lately. And, honestly, part of me is...ah - scared by that. Scared as hell, okay? And I'm not too sure how to be with you now, since letting you in a bit more...through that door. Nobody's gotten...as far in past that door as you have, Xikira. You understand?"
"You don't have to be scared; just be you, Xigbar, and it'll be fine," Xikira told him earnestly. "I guess...you have the opposite problem as me now. You've been alone for a long time, and you're scared to not be anymore. I've always had people close to me, but now I'm alone...or, I would be, if it wasn't for you!"
"But you still miss them all."
"I do. And you still want to be alone."
"It'd make my life a lot easier," Xigbar joked. But maybe he wasn't exactly, totally joking, going by that look in his eye just then. It was like he was tired, but it was also pained, and even sad, and...
"You mean simpler?" she tried to joke.
"Same thing."
"No, it's not. I think you're scared of complications, too."
Now Xigbar looked amused. A little. "Heh. You're right on the money with that one, princess. I do my best to minimize complications in life, that's for sure."
"So I'm a complication."
"Yeah. But...I think you're one I'm...happy to try to work around. But I'm not sure if I can do it, Xikira. I just don't know..." Xigbar sighed, leaning forward and putting his head in his arms on the table.
"You're tired again."
"So are you..." his muffled response came.
"Not like you. You're always tired."
"Just need to take another nap or two, and I'll be right as rain..." he replied.
Xikira gazed at him. She raised her hand slowly, leaning forward to reach across the table. She patted him on the arm. Then his head. She stroked his hair-
He jerked upright, startling her. He looked at her with bemusement. "What were you just...?"
"I was trying to make you feel better."
Xigbar frowned deeply. His eye closed. He gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Thanks, kiddo - but it won't do me any good. There's no easy fix for the way I feel..."
Xikira sat back, ducking her head and placing her hands in her lap. "Sorry..."
"It's okay. I..." Xigbar gazed off into the distance, his expression suddenly looking so incredibly distant.
"I appreciate the attempt," he said at last, in a voice every bit as distant as that look on his face.
