Xikira sat in her chair before Skuld, after another three hours of intense memory work.

She was pleased with herself. She thought she had made some really good progress. The task didn't seem...quite as overwhelming as it first had. But it was still one that would take a few weeks. Depending on how often Xigbar wanted to drag her out to this place at night.

Not that she was upset about that - not too much, anyways. She was happy to be with Xigbar, too.

But...she had a reason to be here with him again.

And she thought it was time to test those waters now.

"So...about recompletion..." she began.

Xigbar turned to her, surprised. "What about it...?"

"What happens to...someone like me, if I were to be destroyed?" Xikira asked. "I came from Sora and Kairi, her Heart, his body and Heartless. So would I go back to her, or to him...? And...and would I just stop existing at all? What does it really mean to- to join a Heart and a body again? Because I'm not Kairi's body, I'm not Sora's, I'm not...and Sora's still human anyways, isn't he? And Kairi too! She got her Heart back. And I'm not Kairi, like Roxas isn't Sora, even though all the rest of you seem like you're just the same person as when you were human! That's how normal Nobodies are, right? A continuation? But we're not! We're separate! Because we didn't have our memories - right? So...so how does that work for me? I'm not her..."

Xigbar adopted a look of contemplation. Seriousness. "No idea," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I could speculate, but...this is new ground, Xikira. You are...new. You're impossible. You're...a miracle of the World. Somebody who shouldn't exist at all, but you still do. And I couldn't say...what'd happen to you if you did end up...being destroyed. Who you'd go back to, or anything else about that process."

"Well, how about Roxas, then? He's definitely in Sora's body. Sora became a Heartless and made Roxas. So that's simple, that's - the normal process? Besides not having Sora's memories, anyways..."

"Yeah. That's normal - sans the amnesia."

"So if Roxas were to be destroyed...and he rejoined Sora..."

"He'd just...be there in Sora, I suppose," Xigbar shrugged. "Back where he came from."

"But...what is it like?" Xikira pressed. "To...go back where you came from? To be- is it like...like...sleeping?"

"Like Ventus, you mean?"

"What? How do you-"

"Hey, I'm Number Two - Xemnas tells me things sometimes. And besides, it wasn't hard to figure out, personally; I know Ventus," Xigbar replied, smirking.

"You know Ventus?"

"I met him, once or twice," Xigbar shrugged again. "I've been around the block, princess."

"Right...So? Is it like that? Ventus's Heart in Roxas? Or...before, when he was in Sora? Do we...our minds now, our thoughts, our feelings, here...who we are right now...do we go to sleep inside our- recompleted...whole self? That person we become when the Heart and body merge again?"

"Look, don't worry about it so much. It's complex stuff, and- it's not relevant to you."

"But we don't...we're not gone forever, are we? It's not like we- just stop existing?"

"In a manner of speaking, yeah...sure. You won't fade into nothing. You'd still be around - maybe sleeping in Kairi, maybe in Sora. But you'd be around, for sure."

"So we're immortal."

"What?!"

Xikira grinned. "Even if we get destroyed as Nobodies, we'll just go back to be with our original selves, right? So it doesn't really matter if we die - like Zexion. You said it yourself! I gave him a second chance! So...dying really isn't so bad for us?"

"NO! NO! AND NO AGAIN!" Xigbar said loudly, shaking his head furiously. He smacked a hand to his face. "That is not what that means! You're not some kind of undying little goddess, all right? Don't you dare go thinking this means you can act like a reckless fool! It's not guaranteed, it matters, and you're not to go treating it so lightly! It's not like...a damn respawn point in an arcade game, alright? You don't just reboot and restart!"

Xikira giggled, hands over her mouth. "Okay..."

"I'm serious, damnit! Don't do anything stupid now! It's not a safety net so you can go throwing yourself off of skyscrapers!"

"I wasn't planning to - yet..."

Xigbar growled, whirling away from her. "Cheeky little..."

"So what are you going to do when you get your Heart back?" she said lightly, wanting to get things back on track. "Either from Kingdom Hearts, or when you recomplete?"

"When I recomplete?" Xigbar turned to her again, gazing down on her. "You planning to off me, princess? A Keyblade to the back?"

"No! Just...it might happen at some point, right?" Xikira said quickly. "And if it does, what are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? Hah: retire. Find a nice, quiet world somewhere to sleep my days away in peace."

"Why are you in the Organization, Xigbar?"

"You've got a lot of questions today, don't you? Usually I like that - but with you, I think it's a little dangerous."

"Have you ever thought about just...leaving?"

Xigbar considered her. He gave a nod. "Every day."

"Then why don't you?"

"I have my reasons - and I'm not sharing them with you. That's private stuff."

"Why not?"

"Because it's personal. I just told you."

"Why is it personal?"

"Because it just is! Get off my back, why don't you?"

"If you left you could have so much more time to be with Skuld. If we left together, I could have more time to help her," Xikira said.

"True."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Why can't we just leave? Aren't there things you want to do, places you want to see?"

"I've done a lot of things and seen a lot of places in my life already."

"But there are so many worlds, there has to always be something new and exciting."

"True...but I like my life with minimal amounts of excitement."

"You're not answering me!"

"No, I'm just not answering you the way you want me to. And I won't - so drop it."

"Grrrr...fuck you."

"Heh. Somebody's cranky today."

"Somebody needs to stop waking me up after midnight, randomly!" Xikira snapped.

Xigbar sighed. "I know. That one's on me. I know, okay? But it can't be helped."

Xikira sighed too. "I want to get a house. And a family. And I want to be with my friends forever. And my parents. I want to eat ice cream and shop every day and go to beaches and festivals."

"Sounds like a pretty good life."

"I'd still visit you."

"Hm?"

"If I got that life. I'd still visit you."

"Cute. Thanks..."

"I would!"

"I believe you!"

"Would you want to visit me, too?"

"Sure. You're not...that bad to spend time with. I could handle a visit or two."

Xikira beamed. "You mean it?"

"Yeah."

"And if I left the Organization...to go have that life...would you come with me?" she said hesitantly.

Xigbar simply stared at her.

Enough dancing around this...

"If you saw everything then you know why I'm still here. You know why I'm asking these questions," Xikira pressed.

Xigbar gave another nod, his eye narrowing at her. "I know," he said simply.

"And?"

He waved a hand, leaning back. "You aren't going to convince me, kiddo. So don't even bother trying."

"I bet I can!"

"I've been in this Organization for nearly ten years - what makes you think I'd leave it for you?"

"Because we're friends, because you deserve- to have a life too!"

"I've got a life, thank you very much."

"But it's not a life you like! You can't fool me, Xigbar!"

Xigbar let out a loud bark of laughter. "I can't? Well, think what you like..."

"You're tired all the time, you don't like any of this! So leave it behind with me!"

"Not that simple. I have a goal, I'm invested here, Xikira. And I'm not abandoning it all so I can run off and play happy friends with you. Besides, running around with a kid would cramp my style."

"Why does everyone say that?! It is too simple! Lauriam and Elrena left, and I was going to leave too! I would have gone with them, I should have! But you kept me here!"

"No, you kept you here," Xigbar said quietly. "Because you're delusional. You think you've got to 'save' me? I don't recall ever asking you to do that; I'm right where I want to be, and that's not going to change."

"You're my friend, I couldn't just abandon you!"

"Yeah you could've. You still can. And if we're being so blunt and honest with each other here, princess...I'd prefer it if you did. I would've preferred it if you'd gotten out with your friends back then," Xigbar told her firmly. "With your- Kairi and Sora, and Xion. You could have had that life of yours right now, already. Beaches and festivals and shopping trips, to make your head dizzy and your feet sore. Bikinis and ice cream, all day, every day! But instead...you trapped yourself here, came right back into it. And you didn't have to!"

"YES I DID, I TOLD YOU, I HAD TO GET YOU OUT TOO, I-!"

"Why?!"

"Because we're friends!"

"Friends consider the opinions of others! Friends don't make decisions for other people! I said I'm happy where I am, I'm here for a reason - but you've got no reason to still be hanging around here. So just leave! Jump out your window at night, go find your mom and dad, go find your friends, and enjoy the freedom and pleasures of the worlds you've always wanted. Guilt-free. Don't stay for me!"

"But if I just leave now, who's going to help Skuld?"

Xigbar hesitated. "We could make...arrangements. I said I wouldn't mind a visit or two, didn't I? How's that sound?"

"I'm only walking out of here with you at my side," Xikira said firmly.

"Then you're never going to leave - you'll never have that life you want," Xigbar said harshly, glaring at her now. Angry. Frustrated. "You'll just keep dreaming, keep wasting your life!"

"If I'm wasting my life here, how come you're not?"

"Because, like I said, I have a reason to be here. I'm fulfilling my...life's purpose. You're not. You have no reason to be here - you never had a reason to exist in the first place. But you have all the potential of anyone living, because you exist! And you. Are. Wasting it on me!"

"Wasting it on you...?"

Xigbar looked surprised. He looked away, gritting his teeth. "I'm not...worth it...okay? You get that? Look, you're a good kid, you're smart, and clever, and stubborn, and...you're good, plain. But you're wasting it all on me. Because I'm not."

"I think you're good."

"Heh. You don't know even a quarter of the shit I've done-"

"Lauriam says he's done shit too. Shit he's not proud of. But he still got out. He feels bad about it now. He wants to make up for it all."

"Good for him."

"You have to feel bad for the things you've done too."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. I feel bad for what I did. To Zexion. I still do. Lauriam tried to tell me, once, that it was different...killing a human versus a heartless. But I didn't listen. And now I know..."

"That's rough. Sorry to hear it."

"Xigbar, please, I want you to-"

"It doesn't matter what you want!" Xigbar snapped. "This is what I want!"

"is it?" She did her best to raise her eyebrow at him. "Is it, Xigbar? I thought we...established that was bullshit. You're tired and you hate this. But you keep doing it. WHY?"

"Because my reason for being here is more important than however the hell I feel! Alright? Now DROP IT!" he shouted at her.

"And what's your reason?" Xikira persisted, refusing to back down.

Xigbar gazed at her silently. His expression eased, and his body relaxed again. "I don't have to tell you a damn thing, kid. I think we're done for the night. Go on back to the castle."

"No! I'm not leaving until you fucking tell me-"

Xigbar stood suddenly, stalking forward. He seized her arm, created a portal, and threw her into it before she could even protest!

Xikira fell onto the floor of her room, sprawled there. Shocked more than anything else.

The portal vanished instantly, leaving her no way back.

Well, she thought she could have made a portal of her own to get back there...

But she wasn't going to risk it.

Not with the way Xigbar had looked in that moment.


Stupid, stupid damn little heroes, and their damn little hero complexes!

Luxu raised a shaking fist before himself, then smacked himself in the face with it.

He'd known it was coming for days now - known they had to confront this unsaid thing at some point, between the two of them.

Her reason, and his knowledge of her reason.

But he hadn't wanted to be the one to blink on it.

The one to bring it up.

Start this fight.

And here it was.

And he'd called her delusional...

He had wanted to put it off, keep pretending things were happy and great between them.

Like she wasn't here with a purpose now - just like him.

Like her purpose didn't conflict with his. In fact, it was in direct opposition to his own.

But his purpose, his reason, was thousands of years old, had held for thousands of years now.

And it could hold out against one little girl's determination to "save" her "friend."

He could hold out against her, like it was nothing.

He'd give her a few more weeks here, and eventually she was bound to get fed up and leave - go be with her friends, with her "parents" out there in the worlds.

She was bound to realize...that what she wanted to do, the desires in her Heart, the wishes she had...that it was all just an impossible task. An unachievable goal.

Pointless to fight. Pointless to try.

All of her little Heart's hopes...couldn't stand up to the inevitable, unceasing march toward the preordained future.

One that was set and locked long ago...