Nathalie had spent the day briefing Gabriel. Discussion covering what he should talk through with Adrien and how he should approach the subject. At the moment he thought walking over red hot coals might be a better idea than discussing the pros of birth control with his twenty year old son.
Adrien had miraculously been found in his bedroom this morning — alone— escaping off to university like nothing had happened. Gabriel made an additional note to try and figure out how his son was getting in and out without anyone noticing his absence or exit. It wasn't like he could just vault out the window and over the fence; someone must be working with him from the inside. He must have an accomplice.
"Stay calm and be open," Nathalie said, slipping her arms into her jacket and wrapping the purple scarf Marinette had knitted her around her neck. He despised that scarf. Every perfectly formed knit kicked him in his perfectly veneered teeth.
"Easier said than done," Gabriel huffed, crossing his arms over his chest like a defiant tween.
Nathalie shrugged, placing on her Jagged Stone baseball cap and grabbing her '#1 fan' foam finger. "You're the one that had a kid. Deal with it!"
She dropped him one last smug smile before heading out the door and towards the waiting car, abandoning him in his hour of need and leaving him to partake in the most awkward talk of his life.
He'd messaged Adrien earlier, explaining he needed to discuss some 'house' stuff with him. He'd worded it smartly, knowing full well he would entice Adrien in with the idea he wanted to talk about the possibility of him moving out. He was almost 100% sure Adrien wouldn't come if he knew the truth.
It was approximately 10 minutes until Adrien arrived, Gabriel flinching with every slight sound he heard in the house. The last thing he wanted was Adrien turning up early, he needed the extra time beforehand to get his own head around what he was about to do.
Wasn't this a job of his teachers? Did he really have to talk to his own son about this? He took his glasses off and placed them on the table, rubbing over his eyes with one hand as the other spun the ring on his finger. He'd never had this talk with his own father, it was all kind of left to trial and error. Trial being the fun nights out in the backseat of his Skoda, error being the two dark pink lines on a plastic stick that indicated Adrien's impending arrival. Plus it wasn't like he'd slept around in his youth, there'd only ever been one woman and that was his wife. Who knew about Marinette? For all Gabriel knew, emo kid might have given her a long lasting disease.
Stopping the anxious rubbing for the sake of his eyebrows, Gabriel grabbed his glasses and repositioned them on his face. His hand wandered down to his desk drawer, opening it up and closing it again, before repeating the action once more. Inside lay a whole array of different sizes and styles of condom. Nathalie said it would be good for Gabriel to give Adrien some, just to indicate that he now understood that was part of his relationship with Marinette.
He picked up a box which he'd already opened—only for research purposes of course—and twisted it around in his hands. A sudden, startling knock hit against the door; the condoms flew out of Gabriel's hand, the box opening and scattering its contents out onto the floor. He almost fell over as he rushed to stand up and collect the many foil packets that were sprawled around on the ground. Damn him for buying the jumbo pack.
"Just a second." Gabriel was on his hands and knees, moving around, trying to collect the items like he was in the final stage of 'The Crystal Maze' — plus points for gold, minus points for silver.
By the time he'd inserted the last token condom into the box Adrien opened the doorway and stuck his head around.
"Is everything okay here?" he asked. Gabriel attempting a 'Model' smile back at him.
"Of course, of course," he floundered, "come in and take a seat."
Hiding the box behind his back, Gabriel headed to his desk and slipped it back into the drawer with the others, ready to present to Adrien when the time was right. This was fucking awful!
They both moved to sit down and Gabriel could already feel the tension in the atmosphere as neither man looked at each other. He screwed his lips together and let them go in a pop only for Adrien to follow it up by blowing out noisily and vibrating his lips. Gabriel sniffed, Adrien brushed his nose, they looked at each other, at the table, at the wall, at the window. The tick tock of the clock in the corner only added to the ambiance and lack of conversation.
Suddenly, Adrien looked at his watch. He placed both his hands on his thighs pushing himself to stand with the instrumental backing of his chair scraping across the floor.
"This was great, we should do it again sometime." He shot his father 'finger guns', 'finger guns'! And made to walk out the room.
"Sit down please, Adrien."
With a sigh, Adrien pulled the thighs of his jeans up and sat down. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at his father in anticipation.
"I," Gabriel coughed. His hand cupped to his mouth, before releasing it and grabbing his glass of sherry. He placed the glass to his mouth, the effort being a lot lighter than talking to his son. He put the glass down and noticed Adrien's gaze on it.
Without thinking, Gabriel stretched out for the phone on his desk. "Would you like a drink? George doesn't leave for another 23 and a half minutes."
Adrien shook his head, Gabriel freezing in his actions to call the butler. "Nope, I'm fine. I've only just arrived back from Le Cellier."
"Oh, the new restaurant down by Notre Dame?" Gabriel asked, placing the phone back in its cradle.
"Yeah, that's the one."
"And how was it?"
"The steak was good, service needs improving a little. They didn't know which knife and fork to recommend for the courses." Adrien laughed, Gabriel tutting with an animated eyebrow raise. "They gave me a dessert fork with my salad."
The two men started laughing in joint harmony, a sound uncommon in the Agreste household. Gabriel stretched a hand to his face, wiping away the tears from under his eye.
"Mutton dressed as lamb. I knew it would have problems. When I was invited to the press event the invitations were edged with tiny pictures of melting butter. Not exactly the five star experience." Gabriel nodded, a slight sigh in his words. Looks like he'd be cancelling his booking there for next week.
"It's still new so maybe it'll improve over the next few weeks. Nino seems to think we had the trainee staff this evening." Adrien said, releasing the tension in his arms a little.
"Nino?" Gabriel queried as he attempted to place the name to a face — he didn't know a Nino.
"Oh - um - Keith."
"Ah, yes… Keith."
Gabriel could feel the pupils in his eyes flaring from the name. He was second on his world's worst list after joint first between Marinette and Ladybug, actually wait? Did that make Cap-Boy third?
"So no," Gabriel coughed, a thickness encasing his throat as he attempted to say her name. "No Marinette this evening?" He continued.
Adrien shook his head, his eyebrows turning down and posture dropping.
Dear Lord, he was like a stray cat!
"She's sick. I went around earlier to take her some bits and pieces, but she was asleep so I'll try again tomorrow. Thank you for asking though."
Gabriel went on high alert! Sick and tired! Oh no, ohhhh no! Was he too late? It had already happened… hello pink lines, goodbye perfectly unbagged eyes.
"And," he coughed, "and is everything good between you two?" He emphasised good in hopes of swaying Adrien the opposite way. Manipulation with tones — he was usually good at that.
"Yeah, really good." Suddenly Adrien's 1000 watt smile was back illuminating the room and causing Gabriel to wince a little. Dammit! "She'll be 20 in a couple of months so I'm trying to plan something nice for her." If her illness was anything to go by it would be a messy 20th, and not in the young and carefree kind of way.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, she's mentioned how she would like to see the Northern Lights, so I've been looking into it."
Gabriel nodded. Adrien nodded. Gabriel smiled. Adrien smiled. Gabriel looked to the door, Adrien looked to the window.
"I hear December is a good time to go," Gabriel said, threading his fingers together and placing them on the desk in front of him.
"Yeah. Kagami mentioned anytime up until March is pretty decent."
Gabriel's attention peaked up when he heard Kagami's name. So his son was still in contact with Tomoe's child. This was a positive.
"Kagami? You two are still in touch then?"
Adrien nodded. "Yeah. We're still close."
Close? Oh yes!
"How is she?"
"She's good. Just moved in with her girlfriend."
…And that was the end of that dream.
They continued to sit in silence once more, Adrien tapping a finger against his arm, a body percussion rendition of 'We Will Rock You.'
Just as Adrien was about to hit the chorus and Gabriel was worried he was going to break out into a rather interesting dance routine, he finally took the leap and started the conversation.
"So everything is definitely good with you and Marinette? You're both serious about this relationship?"
Adrien nodded, a smile gracing his lips and warming the room. "Like I said before," Adrien laughed, "yes. She means everything to me."
Pursing his lips. Gabriel nodded again. Stopping himself abruptly when he realised himself and Adrien had slowly turned into life size bobbleheads.
"And are you being…" He opened his mouth and shut it again. The word wouldn't come out. Gabriel wiggled in his seat, his back rubbing aggressively against the padding on the back of his chair; his head tilted from side to side letting out some rather unflattering cracks.
"You and… and… is your…" This was the single most awkward and embarrassing moment of his life. He could feel himself getting flustered as Adrien just stared back. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. God, he wished Émilie was here.
"Are you okay?" Adrien asked, concern laced in his voice.
"Yes, I just need to know if you and… if you're being… safe." He whispered the last word, his face progressively getting warmer by the second.
"Safe?" Adrien questioned, "what do you mean by safe? As in wearing seatbelts in the car?"
Gabriel studied Adrien, the latters expression still and unbreaking.
"You know what I mean." Gabriel brushed off, only for Adrien to shake his head.
"Not completely. Do you mean when we go swimming? Or when we walk down the streets? Oh, I know, around pigeons."
Gabriel growled towards his son only for Adrien to lean forward and place his elbows on the desk.
"Oh," Adrien snapped his fingers. "I get it. You mean sex." Adrien spoke the last word without a hint of embarrassment only adding to the inner rollercoaster of Gabriel's stomach. How can his son be so unphased about this conversation? He closed his eyes and reopened them, hoping any weakness was taken away by his slow blink.
"And?" Gabriel hinted.
"And we're not having sex on a cliff edge if that's what you're worried about. Nor with any sharp objects."
"Adrien?" Gabriel warned, eyes piercing into his sons.
"Maybe, we should rethink about what we're doing in moving cars though."
"Enough," shouted Gabriel, his hands slamming on top of the desk as he stood up, peering over at his son.
Adrien didn't even flinch. He sat staring with his arms, once again, crossed over his chest, an amused glimmer in his eyes and a slight raise at the corner of his lips.
"I don't want you making a mistake and getting her pregnant," he growled through his teeth, his body still leering over the table, teeth baring at his son.
"We've got it covered." Adrien looked away, breaking eye contact with his father and deflecting the question.
Gabriel felt his breath coming out in deep, harsh swallows, his body moving backwards and back into his seat. He took his hand to the drawer, opening it and pulling out the pack of condoms.
"If you're having coutis, you need to make sure you don't end up in a situation you regret. You don't know what she might be carrying around with her, that emo kid looks far from clean, and have you met his father? She's probably laced with diseases."
"She's a virgin, father, well… was." The last words were spoken quietly as another smirk appeared on Adrien's lips, his hand reaching behind his head rubbing in an awkward twitch.
"Take that look off your face. It's not all about fun, you know, you could end up in a position which is neither good for you or the family!" Gabriel could feel his control dissolving in wild unhinged anger. How can his son joke about this? This was a serious matter.
Adrien snorted before whispering under his breath. "The positions have been great so far."
The anger was fully unleashed. Like a wild dog sent off hungry in the wilderness, he slammed the box down and showered Adrien in condoms as it crumpled from the force of his hand sending them spiralling out of control.
Neither Agreste could speak. Instead, they looked at the mess now scattered over the desk, floor and, for Gabriel's eyes, one sitting in Adrien's hair. He couldn't take his eyes off it; it just sat there shining thanks to the ceiling lights teasing him and with knowingness of the conversation.
Adrien stretched up, reaching for the wrapper and pulling it out, studying the packet with a frown. He twisted it around in his fingers before looking at his father.
"Ribbed?" he queried.
Gabriel turned a deeper shade of red and wished he'd made Nathalie have 'the talk' with Adrien.
Maybe it was time for his son to move out.
