Cyborg dug a pinky into his ear.
"I'm sorry, my audio processor must be on the fritz. Because for a second there, I thought you said you were leaving." He let out a small laugh. "And I know that can't possibly be what you said."
"My room is already empty." He avoided eye contact. "I donated everything that would slow me down, tossed what I couldn't donate, and I have a bag packed with necessities."
"And when are you leaving?" The changeling snorted a laugh.
"Three days ago." He rubbed a circle on his temple. "I was going to leave that night. But then, she came in. I was minutes away from it, Cy. I was going to leave even if I didn't pass out." He straightened up. "And I still am."
"And when were you planning on telling us?" Watching his eyes shift to the floor, the answer clicked. "You weren't going to tell us, were you?" A moment of silence passed between the two.
"No. I wasn't." Cyborg let out a huff of annoyance.
"So, this is it then? I'm gonna check you out of there, and pretend everything is okay until you sneak away?" He swiveled his chair back around to face the desk. "Eleven years gone, just like that?"
"You don't get it." Cyborg grabbed an empty beaker and threw it against the wall. It exploded into tiny shards. He turned to face the changeling.
"No, you don't get it! If you don't want to fix the problem between you and Raven, that's one thing. I think it's stupid, but I can't force you." Beast Boy glared at him. "But to sneak out like a cheap one night stand after eleven damn years?"
"You don't get it!" He stood from his chair, jabbing a finger in his friend's chest. "I don't want to leave, I have to!"
"But without saying goodbye? You wanted us to just notice you weren't coming on missions anymore? Or to even assume the worst?"
"I think that's a bit dramatic, Cy." Cyborg stood up, towering over his friend.
"If you had collapsed without anyone there, you would have been dead in a few hours. If you had snuck out of the tower and left, do you know where you'd be right now?" He leaned forward, bringing his face inches away. "In a gutter. I don't think you understand just how close you put yourself to that line, B." Beast Boy pushed his shoulders to put some space between them.
"Well I'm still here, aren't I?"
"Your head is so far up your ass, I bet you could tell me what your last meal was! The only reason you are still breathing in and out is because Raven was there. She saved you, B." He sat back down in his chair and sighed. "And you're going to repay her by running away." Beast Boy looked at his friend, then to the floor.
When Raven re-entered her room, she took a deep breath to calm herself. It was always hard seeing him like that. But, as she had told him, he was getting better.
Last time he had an episode like that, he panicked and ended up tangled in the various wires and monitors he was hooked into. When Starfire got to him, he was gnawing through them in an attempt to free himself, and had hissed at her like a trapped cat.
Making her way to her bed, she climbed onto it and crossed her legs. Centering herself on an emotional level, while no longer necessary, was still a relaxing activity for her. She focused for a moment and waited for the floating feeling of levitation to take over her body and she sighed.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zin-"
Excuse me, but I'm afraid that isn't going to suffice today.
Bookworm is right. We *belch* we want to see you.
"Very well." These requests were rare, but they helped keep the emoticlones from intruding on her thoughts as often as they used to, so she didn't mind indulging them every so often.
Standing up, she made her way over to her dresser and grabbed the magic mirror. Turning the reflective surface towards her, she noticed how tired she looked just before the familiar pull grabbed a hold of her, taking her into her own mind.
When she opened her eyes again, she was greeted by the sights of a large library. A catalog of near limitless recounts of knowledge and experiences. Memories and information. The phrase 'photographic memory' couldn't be more applicable than it was here. Simply grabbing a book from the shelf could grant you a moving picture of anything she had experienced. But that wasn't all that was here.
In the center of the library was a large circular table with chairs around it. Each chair was occupied by one of Raven's many emotions. Whether intentional or not, it always got a smirk from Raven seeing them at the table because they always managed to arrange themselves in order, like a giant color wheel. There was quite a bit of chatter going on, until a green caped Raven noticed her appearance.
"The lady of the hour, ladies and gentlemen!" She shouted boisterously. Raven simply nodded her head, taking the only empty seat, completing the chain of color changes.
"Ladies. How are we all today?" Everyone responded in neutral manners besides Rage, whose silence was at least an indication that she was willing to participate in an orderly fashion. "Well, I've been summoned. What seems to be the issue?"
"Oh, please! You can't fool us!" Rude shouted.
"I agree, Raven." Knowledge pushed her glasses back into place. "Beating around the bush isn't going to get us anywhere. We agreed to cut ourselves off from your power if you agreed to express us freely. It was a costly spell, so we are less than pleased that for the past three days you've been withdrawing from us."
"It's not that we want to take up your time" a navy blue cloaked Raven spoke up. "But when a deal is made, all parties involved should keep all ends upheld." She spoke diplomatically.
"I'm sorry. I'm just going though-"
"We know." They all chorused at once.
"I know you know. I'm just venting." Her fingers were on her temples. "I'm just stressed."
"Oh, she's stressed." Rude spoke up, motioning towards her. "And here I thought it was just gas." The characteristic rude remake earned her a glare.
"We know you're stressed, silly. But that's no reason to leave us all in the dark!" Happy responded exuberantly. The navy blue Raven cleared her throat.
"I suppose I just haven't had much to feel the past few days. I've been pretty numb. I wasn't intentionally suppressing any of you. But I'm sure you know that." She sighed. "This whole situation with Beast Boy is-"
"Enlightening?"
"Infuriating…"
"Depressing."
"Not our problem."
"Romantic…"
"In a slightly strange way…"
"We know!" They all chimed, after naming each emotion being felt.
"I know! I know you know! I get it!" Black flames engulfed the real Raven as she stood up, slamming her hands on the table. "God, this has to be what going crazy feels like." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Christ, you people!"
"But… we're you…" Timid spoke up in a quiet voice.
Raven shifted her gaze to her gray clone. Her lips tightened into a small smirk. A small chuckle came from her lips, which slowly grew into full blown laughter. All of the emoticlones soon joined in, Rage even allowing a small smirk to her face. Eventually the laughter died down. Wiping a tear from her eye, Raven sat back in her seat.
"I really needed that." She cleared her throat. "So, why am I here?"
"Well, we came to a consensus." Knowledge removed her glasses, cleaning them off with her yellow cloak. "We need to get this emotional distress under control. Garf-"
"Don't use that name!" Rage hissed quietly. "He is Beast Boy until he gets himself together. Not Gar." She all but spat the name from her mouth. She was keeping her hood low, her face only visible from the tip of her nose down.
"Incase you have forgotten, he did try to apologize." Envy spoke up. "But at the time, we believed he was still hung up on Terra." She said the name in a mockingly nasal voice, crossing her arms. "I still don't know what he ever saw in her." A violet cloaked Raven stood up.
"Who cares what he saw in her? Are we forgetting about how he sees us?" A warmth swelled in Raven's heart. Amidst his unconsciousness and the events of him coming to, it had slipped her mind.
"That's all good and well, but we can't forget how he went about expressing himself," Knowledge interrupted. Wisdom held up a hand.
"While he did go about presenting himself in a less than desirable manner, that doesn't change the fact of the matter. He is in love with us. And while Love has made her stance on the matter known, some of us aren't too sure." She scratched her chin in thought. "I believe we need to decide if what Love feels is genuine, or if it's just a symptom of her predisposition of returning someone's affection." Rude was loudly fake-snoring.
"This is a serious matter. You should be treating it as such!" Chided the navy blue Raven.
"Oh, Miss Prim and Proper wants to give me advice now." Rage leaned over to the dark orange Sloth.
"This is gonna be good." But the other emotion was fast asleep, head leaned over the back of the chair.
"There is nothing wrong with showing a little decorum now and then." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "I will not get drawn into another behavioral debate with you, Rude. I simply will not."
"Oh it's hardly any debate at all-"
"Quiet, all of you!" Knowledge shouted above them. "This idle prattle isn't getting us anywhere. Now, we need to get to the bottom of this. Myself and Wisdom will serve as the neutral party, merely offering opinions on each case brought forward. All agreed?"
"Aye" they unanimously agree.
"Now, who wishes to present first?" Happy was bouncing in her seat, flailing an arm around and flicking her hand back and forth. It was met with a nod.
"Okay, so BB did some bad things. He was out of line and not acting like himself. But he's not a bad guy. He's a very good and very funny person. I don't think we should hold this against him." She put a finger to her chin. "At least…not too much."
"A very sound point, thank you. Next?" A sky blue Raven raised her hand. "Sympathy."
"Thank you. I believe it's important to take into consideration what he was going through. I mean, remember how we felt watching him dote on Terra as if she were a precious gem? We were none to happy either. It's not a bad thing to get all sides of the story."
"Exactly." Jealousy, clad in a light green interjected. "When she was around, it was all 'Terra needs this. Terra needs that. Raven, do you think Terra needs this? Do you have any extra blankets for Terra? Terra drank the last of your tea, sorry!' Like, come on! And I tried telling you guys she was bad news. But nobody wanted to believe me."
"To our credit, that was when we first began having our crush on him, so we thought you were just being you." Adjusting her glasses again, she continued. "We had no reason to consider our 'visions' were nothing more than your overactive imagination trying to find reasons not to trust her."
Raven was nodding along as the words hit her. Shooting a confused look at the yellow emoticlone, she spoke up.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Your crush. On Beast Boy." It was said so easily, Raven was taken aback.
"Crush? On Beast Boy. I'm certain I would have remembered this."
"But we sent Love too…" There was a loud groan and smacking sound as all but one of the emoticlones brought a hand to their foreheads.. "We were under the impression Love had spoken to you about this year's ago!"
"I'm sorry! But I knew if I did it she would do anything she could to get rid of it!" Love smiled warmly. "And it's such a pleasant feeling. We did talk. But that never came up!"
"Conveniently."
"But the point is, we are now all accessories to your deception!"
Sloth snorted herself awake.
"What did I miss?" Rage leaned over to her.
"Apparently, Love never spoke to Raven about the whole… Beast Boy situation."
"Ha! Classic." Raven was quietly sitting with her head in her hands.
"And how did you manage to sneak around without these feelings being noticed?" Curiosity spoke up, shifting her teal cape. Love twiddle her fingers.
"I figured if I slightly diverted what I was feeling to some of you, I wouldn't get caught…" her eyes were looking at the table. She didn't want to meet any of the glares her answer was sure to provoke.
"Wait, wait, wait." Lifting her head from her hands and scanning the table, Raven rejoined the conversation. "How exactly did you do that?"
"Well… I would just… share my feelings a bit. When I'd get butterflies, I would send that to Rage. There it was interpreted as annoyance." Rage growled slightly. "And if he had done something to make me admire him, I'd send it to Pride. That way it just seemed like we were proud of him…" Timid was holding her hood down over her face, slowly sliding down in her chair. She was almost out of sight when Raven noticed her.
"And where are you going?" She raised an eyebrow at her gray clone.
"Well… I may have… sorta… helped her." Her voice was so quiet, it almost wasn't audible.
"You what!" Raven and Rage stood and shouted at the same time.
"I was scared!"
"Big surprise there" Rude interjected. Timid turned to her with a pouting glare.
"Ladies, let's remember to stay calm." Polite's voice soothed the tension. "Love is a big change. It makes sense for Timid to worry about it. And while I don't agree with the emotional espionage, for a lack of a better term, it is understandable." She brought her focus to Timid. "Not that it's okay."
"This complicates things." Wisdom turned the conversation away from becoming a 'blame game'.
"It certainly does," Knowledge nodded. "And how long have you two been able to keep this little ruse going?"
"Until just now…" Wisdom and Knowledge looked at each other.
"So that means-
"Yep."
"And we-"
"Yes."
"But she-"
"Most likely."
"I'm not entirely sure 'complicates' sums it up properly." Raven turned to a dark violet caped clone.
"You've been awfully quiet."
"I'm not entirely sure you want my input" Lust spoke slowly. Remembering many passing thoughts the emotion had given her, Raven agreed.
"A fair point." She turned back to Wisdom and Knowledge. "So, what exactly does all of this mean?"
"You aren't going to like the answer," Rude replied in a sing-song voice.
"It's quite simple, really. By not allowing you to technically feel your crush for Beast Boy, you were never able to face the feeling. Therefore, you do still have feelings for him." Raven felt herself blush.
"That can't be right," She declared. "There must be some sort of mistake."
"Face it, Blue. You've got feelings for him. It all adds up! He makes your blood boil because whenever you're supposed to get that happy feeling, someone passes the buck! Seems more like something I would do." Picking her teeth, Rude continued. "Nothing you can do about it now."
"I beg to differ."
"Then beg."
"If I have these feelings for him, then why would I be trying to date other people?"
"As it's been stated," Wisdom answered, "the feelings were hidden and dispersed in a grand effort to hide them from you." Rage leaned forward with a sinister scowl.
"Now that you mention it, all of the people you've tried initiating a relationship with have felt somewhat…familiar."
"That can't be true."
"Search your feelings." Doing a quick tally in her head, she realized Rage had actually been spot on. Whether it was a few corny jokes, a lopsided grin, or posture, each of the men did have a few qualities that reminded her of her teammate. She leaned back in her chair quickly, hitting the backrest with a thud.
"Dear Azar, grant me strength." Her eyes were wide. "So. What now?"
"Simply put, the main question is this. Do we care about Beast Boy enough to overlook his behavior, and, in light of recent events, wish to pursue a romantic relationship with him?" Raven pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I don't know. This is a lot to take in all at once. I'm going to need some time to figure this out." She stood up from the table.
"That's a perfectly acceptable answer. We just wished to make these issues known. Thank you for meeting with us." Polite spoke up. "Come again soon."
With a chorus of goodbyes, the rest of her emoticlones bid her farewell. She gave a brief wave, and felt herself get pulled back to the physical world. Opening her eyes, she began rubbing her temples.
"Oh, what am I going to do…"
A quiet knock was at her door. She stood up and made her way to it, using her keypad to open it.
"Hey, Raven." Nightwing greeted her. He seemed worried, as he often got after big events like that morning. She almost had to smirk at his 'mother hen' tendencies. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Dick. Sorry for locking you two out, but he was too worked up to risk having more people in the room." She leaned against her door frame. "He was already seeing things by the time I got in there."
"Ah. That was the smart move." She tapped the side of her head in response. "Well, good job de-escalating things. From what little I could see, it seemed property damage was minimal and he seemed like he didn't hurt himself on anything this time."
"I was fortunate this time, Dick. He recognized me right away. Made things a lot easier."
"Let's hope fortune stays with us, then" He said with a smirk. "Dinner's done, by the way. Breakfast for dinner." She couldn't help but smile, anticipating the taste and smell of Cyborg's secret waffle recipe.
"What's the occasion? Vic only does breakfast for dinner when something important happens."
"Beast Boy will be joining us."
Sorry for the 6 year hiatus. but I've got a fire lit under me now and hopefully it stays lit. It's been an eventful few years. Got married, had a kid, currently have one on the way, and we just bought a house. I'm glad people are already taking a liking to this story, and I hope it continues to catch people's attention. thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited this story. And thank you for being patient with my absence.
