"He is?" She hoped it didn't come across as nervous. Her voice was as even as she could make it. Nightwing smiled.
"Vic says he's cleared from the med bay and that some real food would do him a world of good. There wasn't much of an argument according to him." His response was genuine. She was relieved he hadn't caught on.
"It'll be strange having a full table again." It was a fairly empty statement. She only offered it to try to drive the point that she wasn't internally vibrating to her core with nerves. After all, it isn't every day you find out that your best friend, who is in love with you, is someone you've had feelings for for a very long time. Even if you were tricked by your no good, scheming, lying, double crossing-
I can hear you!
"Raven, you alright?" Her attention refocused on her teammate.
"The voices are back." A cheap attempt at a joke. "Tell me, doc. How bad is it?" He laughed.
"Alright, wiseass. The others are waiting for us. Let's get a move on." She nodded, moving through the door. It closed behind them with a hiss.
"So… how does he seem?" It was a tentative question, but she wanted to prepare herself for whatever atmosphere the room was going to have.
"He's a bit stiff, but you'd almost think nothing happened." They rounded a corner. "Gotta take into account he was basically not talking to anyone for three weeks. I'm sure he's readjusting."
"Alright." They approached the door, and she grabbed his arm, halting him mid-step. He gave her a questioning glance. "Sorry, I just need a minute." She took a very deep breath. Shaking her shoulders, she regained her composure. She stepped forward and the doors opened.
"So a man calls up his doctor and says
'Hey doc, I got a problem' doctor says
'Okay, what's your problem?'
'My wife's been treating me like a dog.'
'Well, how long has this been going on?' The doctor asks.
'Ever since I was a little puppy!' The man tells him.
'You need to come on down here. You need some couch time' says the doctor. The man gets scared.
'Oh no, doc, I'm not allowed on the couch!'"
Starfire laughed deeply at her green friend's joke. Cyborg smiled and shook his head. Even Nightwing had to let out a small laugh.
"Oh, Garfield! That joke is simply marvelous!" She laughed again. "The idea of a man having such problems tickles my ribs!"
"Not a bad one, B." Cyborg said, getting up to plate the tofu eggs and bacon for his friend. He sat down and slid the plate to him. "Definitely one of your better ones."
"Thanks, big guy!" He was sitting in the seat Nightwing usually occupied at meal times, between Cyborg and Starfire. It was a subtle change, but it was noticeable. Turning to the newcomers, he decided to address it before someone else could. "You know, Dick, I always wondered why you picked this chair. But now I know!" He gestured to the large window. "Who wouldn't want to eat in front of that?"
The sky was a brilliant mix of pinks and reds as the sun began setting behind the clouds.
"Well, don't get used to it. That's my seat. I'll let you have it today. But tomorrow-"
"I'm sure he'll be right where he needs to be tomorrow. Right, Gar?" Cyborg interrupted. A look was shared between the changeling and the half-robot. His smile faltered for only a second, but it was enough for Raven to notice as she took her and Nightwing took to the two chairs between Cyborg and Starfire.
"I will! Chair's all yours tomorrow, Captain!" He saluted in an exaggerated way. He boisterously began digging into his triple serving of his tofu meal.
There was a large spread, as Cyborg often put out while doing his Titan-famous breakfast for dinner. Even honorary Titans knew what a privilege it was to be present for such an event. From hash to hash browns, the spread put most buffets to shame. Bacon cooked to nearly every level past the FDA recommendation to being burnt to a crisp. Waffles, pancakes, and crepes. Eggs done every which way. Sausage patties and links, grits and gravy.
The five Titans sat at the table for nearly two hours, long after the sun had gone down. The conversation ranged from loud and animated, to quiet and somber. Memories shared and laughter abundant.
"You know, if you think about it, even as a vegetarian, milk and eggs technically should be exceptions." Cyborg was trying to get an argument from him. He knew it. "I mean, cows make the milk regardless. And if they aren't milked, they can get sick. So in reality, I'm helping them." As if to prove his point, he chugged the remaining milk from his glass. "I'm a hero."
"Hardy har." The changeling's smirk never faltered. "And the eggs?"
"Chicken's gonna make them anyway. Might as well eat them before they spoil. That's biological waste, right there. No need for that when I am perfectly willing to clean up after them." This remark was met with a quick middle finger, which earned a laugh from the older man. "Fine, have it your way."
Beast Boy appreciated Cyborg humoring him for the night, knowing what he knew. Raven, however, did not appreciate that he wouldn't even look in her direction. And if he did, it was quick and fleeting. Accidental. And if she did catch him looking, he looked sad. It would only last a split second before the mask slid back up and his lopsided grin was back and he was injecting himself into whatever the conversation was. If he was responding to something she said, his eyes would look anywhere but where she was seated.
When the food was done being picked at, and what was left was stored into the refrigerator, everyone was shocked to hear the words come from his mouth.
"I'll take care of the dishes tonight, guys." With wide eyes, their leader spoke first.
"Is everything okay?" Starfire flew to the changeling, putting a hand on his forehead.
"He does not feel any warmer than usual." He swatted at her hand a few times. Cyborg decided to try to press him.
"Something you aren't telling us, B?" The comment was met with a sharp glare.
"Something you aren't telling us?" He repeated in a mockingly high pitched voice. "Look, I've put you guys through the ringer the past few weeks. I just want to do something nice for my friends."
The phrasing struck a chord with Raven. She couldn't put a finger on why, but something about that statement was important. Nobody else seemed to take notice, so she was content to sweep the uneasy feeling away for the time being.
"Well, if you insist." Nightwing was the first to turn away towards the couch. Who was he to stop Beast Boy from doing chores? He didn't do the dishes often, but when he did, they would shine as if they were brand new. So it didn't bother him one bit.
Raven was the only one who stayed behind. The sound of the Gamestation firing up filled the room and the sounds of a three-way battle were heard shortly after. She waited a few minutes for him to get started before grabbing a towel and standing next to him.
He bristled at the proximity, but continued working. As he placed dishes into the strainer, she would grab and dry them. She used her powers to send them gracefully to whichever cupboard they belonged.
This continued for a few moments.
Sloshing, clinking, wiping, and a soft tap as they were put into place.
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
"Why are you ignoring me?" Her question pounded in his ears like thunder.
She hadn't been loud, but he was so focused on the repeating noises in hopes that no questions would come up. He put his hands on the sink and dipped his head down. His breathing was strong, like he was working up the nerve to talk. And he was.
"Because…I'm not ready to face you yet." He stood back up and continued washing.
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
"I understand."
"Thank you."
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
"I forgive you, you know." He nodded.
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
"What-"
"Raven, please…" his voice was a whisper. Hearing her name from his lips like that, so sad. So broken.
Don't make this harder than it has to be.
He couldn't blame her, of course. She didn't know. Come sunrise, he would be gone. Part of their life that was just a memory. Like the many they had shared over dinner. Eventually his name would be brought up in a downcast voice, with sad faces.
She could tell it was hard for him. She had so much to say to him. But he didn't want her to. She wanted to reassure him. To make him feel better. To remind him they were still friends after all of this. It was ironic. Now he was the closed off one, and here she was trying to pry him out of a shell. But she could tell it wasn't going to work. So she let it go.
"Okay."
Slosh. Clink. Wipe. Tap.
After a half hour, and a generous amount of elbow grease, the dishes were finally done. After a quick nod of gratitude, Beast Boy made his way to the couch. Raven was upset, but she knew he still needed time to forgive himself.
He's too hard on himself…
It just shows that he cares…
She couldn't help but feel a little envious as she watched him hop over the back of the couch and ask to join the game with the others, having the same jovial attitude he'd been giving throughout their dinner.
Why, that little-
Take it easy. He's still hurting.
Yeah but we-
Shh!
Swallowing down her displeasure, she decided the best course of action was to let it be.
He'll come around. The voice was calm and reassuring.
Making her way to her usual spot on the couch, she grabbed her book off of the end table and sat down to read it. She wrapped her cape around herself. Beast Boy's emotional detachment from her left her feeling exposed.
Just because I understand doesn't mean it doesn't hurt she thought to herself. But at the same time, a large part of her was thrilled to see things back to a sense of normalcy. So she settled into the story, allowing the words to take her away.
At least, she tried to. Then, it happened.
He laughed.
It was a genuine, honest, caught off guard kind of laugh. Not like the more controlled, somewhat uneasy laughs he'd been giving all night. Even though many years had passed, it brought her back to a very specific memory.
He was explaining his well thought out, if somewhat misguided, motor oil balloon prank. It was a playful laugh.
And she could no longer focus on her book. Her eyes were drawn to him. His smile was full. He was genuinely happy. For the first time that night, she truly believed everything was going to be okay. Granting herself a moment to take in his features she came to a realization.
She thought he was handsome. Not in some hormone induced passing thought. She was attracted to him. His smile, his kind and mischievous eyes, and his ears! She felt a blush blossom in her chest and raised the book a little higher. Peeking over the edge of the pages, she felt her emoticlones buzz.
That handsome bastard.
The night continued on until the changeling rose from his seat. He pressed his hands to his back and sighed deeply.
"Well, I better be hitting the hay. I want to be up in time for training tomorrow." He stretched his arms overhead. "Gotta get back into the swing of things. Goodnight!" His voice was cheerful as he headed for the door.
"Sweetest dreams!"
"G'night, Gar."
Raven simply waved in his direction.
"Goodbye." The changeling froze mid step. He quickly turned around and shot daggers at Cyborg's back. He hadn't turned away from the screen. Thankfully, the rest of the team had also turned to their friend in confusion. He quickly fumbled a recovery. "Sorry, I mean goodnight. Sheesh, maybe I should turn in, too." It worked, but now he had to follow up. Rising from the couch, he walked towards the changeling.
"Besides, I should probably show you the way to your room. See if you even still remember it!" He ruffled the shorter man's hair as they walked. Beast Boy threw a hard elbow, but he shouted in pain as it bounced off the metal body.
"Funny bone!" They heard him shout as the doors closed.
Ignoring the pain in his arm, Beast Boy gave his friend a shove. It hardly moved him, but that didn't matter.
"Are you serious, Cy?" Cyborg shrugged and continued walking.
"Slip of the tongue, B. Besides, I recovered it, didn't I? And now i have to go to bed early."
"Doesn't matter. You were trying to get me to say something all night!" He shouted with his hands in the air.
"I already told you, I don't agree with you leaving without saying anything." They approached Cyborg's room and stopped at the door. "So, is this the part where you steal away into the night?" Beast Boy sighed.
"No. I'm going up to the roof for a while. Take it all in one last time."
"Will you at least tell me when you leave?" Beast Boy gave a smile that didn't meet his eyes.
"Of course." They both knew it was a lie. Cyborg pulled him into a hug.
"I really hope you know what you're doing." His voice cracked as he spoke. Letting go, Beast Boy wiped a tear from his own eye.
"Don't worry about me, Tin Man." Cyborg ruffled his hair again, and went into his room. Beast Boy was frozen there for a moment. His ears drooped, but he turned and made his way to the roof.
"So, did anyone else notice Beast Boy was acting a bit off?" Raven asked while looking into her book. Nightwing shrugged.
"He seemed fine to me." He put his feet on the coffee table, crossing them at his ankles. "He probably just needs a bit of time." Starfire, on the other hand, didn't agree.
"I'm not sure. His smiles didn't seem as they usually are. But he was laughing and making the jokes." She floated over to the cushion next to Raven. "You think something is the matter?"
"I can't be sure. I know he wasn't comfortable talking with me, but it seemed to be more than that." She closed her book. "I told him I forgave him, but he wasn't really having it."
"Perhaps he has not forgiven himself?" she offered.
"It might be that." She grew nervous. Starfire picked up on the nervous fiddling with her cloak and turned to her boyfriend.
"Richard? Could you be a moose and go find silky for me? Tonight is bath night!" She coupled the request with a wide eyed smile. Throw in using the wrong word with a 'misunderstanding', and she knew he would do whatever she asked if she looked at him that way. He looked at her and smiled.
"Anything for you, dear." And off he went, passing through the doors.
"Now, what troubles you, friend?" No use denying it. She had been caught.
"Well, I've recently stumbled across some… information. And I'm not entirely sure what to do with it." She avoided looking directly into her friend's eyes.
"Good information?"
"From a certain standpoint, I suppose."
"And this has to do with Garfield?" When a blush spread across her cheeks, Raven looked to her hands folded in her lap.
"Perhaps…" Starfire worked hard to contain her excitement. Catching Raven in such a vulnerable state was such a rare occurrence that she didn't want to risk her closing up about the topic. She has to resist rapidly clapping her hands in joy.
"Do you wish to share?"
"I believe… I may have feelings for him. Romantic feelings."
"Oh, that is most wonderful news!" She was hovering above the couch now. Only a few inches, but her joy had to be released somehow. "How did this happen?"
Raven regaled her with the story of the trip into her mind and the conversation he had with her emoticlones. Starfire listened eagerly, enraptured with every small detail.
"So, I can't pinpoint exactly when it started. But as it stands right now, I do indeed have very strong romantic feelings. Now that they aren't being dispersed, it's hitting me like a wall." She rubbed her forehead and groaned. "I'm too old to be feeling like some giddy schoolgirl with her first crush!" Starfire gave a wide smile.
"You are never too old to be struck by cupid's arrow, dear friend. Perhaps you should talk to him about this?"
"He doesn't want to talk to me, Star."
"Then make him listen! If he does not wish to engage, that is fine. But it would be rude of him to disregard and ignore you as you speak. With all his mistakes, Garfield is a very well-mannered individual." She put her hand on Raven's arm. "Perhaps 'bearing the soul' can wait, but at least try?" Raven couldn't help but smile back.
"Maybe you're right, Star."
"After all, when you push him away, does he not barrel his way through to talk to you? Even if it was against your wishes? Perhaps it is time he takes his own prescription." She raised a confident fist into the air. Raven let out an airy laugh.
"I suppose you're right. It would only be fair." She stood from the couch. "Thank you, Starfire." She felt the orange arms wrap lightly around her.
"You are most welcome, dear friend."
As if on cue, Nightwing walked through the doors holding a very grumpy Silkie, who was desperately fighting in his grasp.
"Hold still you little-" in a flash, Starfire was at his side.
"Hello, my little bumgorf." The larva began chittering in an excited manner. Scooping him up, she laid him on his back and began tickling his chin. "Are you ready for your wash? Yes you are!" With that, she floated out of the room.
"Spoiled little bastard." Grabbing paper towels, he began wiping his arms and hands. "Disgusting… so, how was the girl talk?" Raven stiffened.
"How did you-"
"I'm not stupid, Raven." Satisfied with his wiping job, he turned to face her. "I don't want specifics. I'm just hoping she was able to help with whatever was bothering you." She nodded.
"Starfire is a terrific source of emotional guidance, rare as it is that I ask for it." She stood from the couch and walked to the door. "Good night, Dick."
"Goodnight, Raven."
As she passed through the halls, she couldn't help but reminisce. After living in the tower for so long, it was almost impossible to find any part of the tower that didn't house some significant memory. Most of them were associated with her green teammate, as he currently was the focus of her thoughts. Her nerves were tingling. This conversation needed to happen, though. Whether he liked it or not, she was going to say her piece.
As she planned out the words in her head, hoping to steer the conversation in a way that wouldn't push him away, she found herself in front of his door.
A light, gentle knock was placed on the door. When she heard no answer she spoke up.
"Garfield?" She waited for an answer. "Gar, please open up." No answer. "Fine. If you don't want to talk , then just listen. I forgive you, Gar. I know you weren't acting like yourself. I was angry for a while. But I'm not angry anymore. I just want to go back to the way things were before." She leaned her back against the door. "I just want my friend back. I miss you." She turned her ear towards the door. She heard nothing.
"You can't ignore me forever. You'll have to come out sometime." She was getting worried. She was sure he had heard her. Turning around, she knocked again. "If you don't answer me, I'm coming in." Her voice was stern. Now he was annoying her. "That's it." She opened a portal through the door and stepped through.
At first, she wasn't sure she was in the right room, but the telltale bed frame of the bunk beds was clear evidence. But when she looked around the room, she saw it was empty. No posters, no knickknacks, no clothing in the open closet. Nothing but a bag on the floor. Her heart began racing.
He wouldn't!
He did…
That bastard!
Tears stung her eyes.
That lying bastard!
Suddenly, the bedroom doors swished open, and there he stood. His body silhouetted against the dull light of the hallway. He gasped. Clearly, he wasn't expecting her. Both of them were frozen in place. Her lip began to quiver, the tears falling from her eyes.
"Raven…"
another chapter for you all. hope you enjoy!
