A/N: Hey guys! Back with another one for the maybe two people who read this lol, hope you like it, though it is a bit somber
It's scary how sometimes even love isn't enough. How people can leave even after what feels like a lifetime together, how people can outgrow things they once believed they could never live without.
It's scary how life can change so drastically.
And maybe it's scarier how we all adjust to it. How time and perspective can ease feelings that once lived so strongly.
It's scary how we have the capacity to let go.
Annabeth doesn't think she wants to let go. Even if it hurts, she wants to hold on to the pain because it means something. It means that it was real. It wouldn't hurt this much if it wasn't.
Time, she's learned, is meaningless when it comes to this. Even after five years of being by your side people can still leave. Even after wading through the trenches and fighting alongside you, people can walk away. Even love can fall short.
There is never a guarantee. She would know. She watched Luke leave.
And it hurt. So much. She didn't think it would ever go away.
But then it did.
That scared her more than the hurt because wasn't she supposed to feel this way forever? Didn't she care deeply? How could the feeling just fade into an occasional throb? This was once her life…
It isn't her life anymore.
And it scares her now that one day she could look at him and not feel the pang of hurt. She never wants there to be a time she looks at him and feels nothing, she'd rather feel the pain.
She doesn't want to outgrow Percy.
If only the years they spent together promised something, if only what they went through was a guarantee, if only their love would be enough. But she knows she can't expect that, knows that despite all of those things, he can leave.
Well…maybe he already has.
And it's because she let him.
Tears pool in her eyes as she replays the last moments of their fight. Tired and hurt, she had told him if he wants to leave, he should. The one person she wanted to clutch as closely as possible to her chest, she'd loosened her grip…
And then watched him leave.
Her vision blurs again and her chest is painfully tight as she stutters through a breath. She doesn't hear the door open, but she feels a hand cover her own.
"Annabeth."
His voice is a lifeboat in her sea of tears, her sole focus becomes that.
"Annabeth, I'm so sorry."
He sinks to the floor, wrapping his arms around her hips. "Please," he stutters out.
His voice is so broken it breaks her heart even more, so she tugs him up. She doesn't want to see him like that either. His eyes are red, tears freely flowing down his cheeks.
Annabeth can't trust her voice, so she just pulls him closer and stands in his embrace. It's all too much but the only thought in her mind is that he's here. He came back.
They stay like that until the tears dry up and she manages to pull away enough to actually look at him.
"It's okay." Her voice is hoarse from the crying and disuse.
He shakes his head. "No, it isn't. I don't want to leave. I never did and I never will."
Words she's never believed… until this very moment.
It's scary our capacity to let go, for life to change
And yet the opposite also holds true.
It's beautiful our capacity to stay, for life to bring back what's meant to be.
This entire time Annabeth's been deathly afraid of losing Percy, knowing there isn't any guarantee that he'll be there. And yet, she let him go.
And he came back.
She doesn't need a promise anymore, because even if time and experience aren't enough, love…
"I know," she tells him. "I don't either."
He doesn't respond, just pulls her back into the hug as if he too can't bear to be apart. She nestles back into his arms with the knowledge that everything will be okay.
She won't outgrow Percy because she chooses not to. He won't leave because he chooses not to.
Because, if you choose love…
It's always enough.
A/N: I've been thinking a lot about the idea of loosing your grip on things. As someone who clutches tightly, I'm learning to trust that if something is meant to be, meant to happen, it will never leave or come back. We can't make people stay by holding on, but the right people will stay without that. Ultimately with love it's a choice. We have to choose it every day. As humans our capacity to change and adapt is fascinating, how we outgrow some things then fall so deeply into others that we never would have expected.
Once again I've used this series to express what's been on my mind lately.
Thank you guys for reading, and please review as I'd love to hear your thoughts!
