"Now swing you partner round and round."

Tony was shaking his head at the video on the screen in front of them.

"No. No. I refuse. You hear that? I refuse. As in, it's not happening."

He knew it was pointless as soon as he said it. There was no way that he was going to get his way but he had to try. Had to put up at least a token fight because he did not want anyone to think that he was going to do this willingly. Because he was not. No way. He was going to make it perfectly clear that he was coerced into doing something so ridiculous. Maybe he should get it in writing too, just to be doubly sure.

"I'm telling you, I'm not doing it."

They didn't have to be that amused at this whole situation.


"Why is this happening?" Tony complained, fussing at the collar of his shirt.

It was far too open for his tastes. And he didnt suit plaid. Did anyone suit plaid except for lumberjacks? He didnt think so. Tony didn't care if it was technically NCIS property, he was burning this shirt as soon as this case was over. And then he would dance on the ashes and scatter them in the nearest river. Even that might not be enough. It was going to haunts his dreams. Or would it be nightmares? Definitely nightmares. He shuddered. This whole situation was just awful. And no, he wasn't being dramatic.

"Because you are very good at it," Ziva told him.

He could hear the amusement in her voice. And he bet that she was doing that smirk of hers too. The worst thing was tbat he deserved it.

"I'm not," he tried again.

But no one was listening to him. He really didn't know how to square dance. Not really anyway. Because, contrary to popular belief, watching a lot of them in movies didn't really count as being taught. The only advantage he had here was that he could dance. Ballroom dance. Which, funnily enough, was very different to square dancing. Ziva also knew how to dance (and well) so why wasn't she forced to do it as well? Partners were supposed to suffer together and all that.

"How come Ziva doesn't have to suffer through this with me?"

Now even Gibbs was chuckling at him. The day couldn't get any worse.

"Because she doesn't know the first thing about hoe downs."

"And I do?"

"Were you not just bragging about them the other day?" Ziva asked innocently.

"About it in a movie. It was in a movie."

"Also, she has a cold," Gibbs finished, giving Ziva a disapproving look. "Can't having her sneezing on anyone."

"I did not get a cold on purpose!" She automatically defended herself with a pout.

"That's what you get for jumping in a river, Ziver."

She huffed at that. Which was spoiled by her sneezing. Did you know that ninjas were far less intimidating when they were sneezing constantly?

"This is meant to be a high ranking competition," McGee could resist getting a jab in. "Sure you can keep up?"

"Keep up?" Tony blustered. "Keep up? Of course I can keep up."

"I have my money on you falling on your face."

Oh, did he? Did he? Tony pushed past him towards the dance floor.

"I'll show you."


Ziva covered her microphone so she could talk without Tony hearing.

"Nicely done, McGee," she praised.

He puffed up with pride.

"It was almost too easy."

"True. But you got him to do it without too much complaining."

And be had been doing a lot of complaining. She looked over to the building where Tony had disappeared into.

"Think he'll win?"

McGee shrugged.

"I'm still kind of hoping he falls on his face. Ow!"

Gibbs had given him a headslap.

"Don't wish ill on someone under cover."

"Of course not, boss," McGee said hurriedly.


Why, oh why, did he have to take what McGee said as a challenge? Well, technically it was but that didn't mean he had to rise to it. Actually, he did because it was for a case a Gibbs said so and Tony didn't make a habit out of disobeying Gibbs. But still!

He looked down at himself in distaste. This was right, this wasn't right at all. He should not be dressed like this or ever be dressed like this. It was going to give him nightmares. Cowboy nightmares.

Oh, God, did he ever feel stupid. He was never to to live this down, was he? McGee definitely wasn't going to let him. He was going to have to check for pictures later. There was no way he wanted those floating about. When this was over he just wanted to forget that it ever happened and that wasn't going to be possible if there were photos.

He liked dancing. Of course he liked dancing. But this, this was not dancing. It definitely wasn't. He didn't care who said it was, Tony DiNozzo was saying that it wasn't.

"And now to your partner!"


Finally the horror was over and he was back in his normal clothes. A suit and tie never felt so good. He wasn't going to ever do that again.

"Care to give me a show?" Abby asked far too innocently.

"Absolutely not," he said firmly.

There would be no shows. No demonstrations. No hints or tricks. No simple step combinations. Nothing. There was going to be nothing and no one was going to make him do anything. They weren't. He refused.

"But, I didn't get to see it."

"Neither did anyone else."

He had been on comms and that was it. He had been extremely lucky that there had been no video cameras anywhere near the dance floor, they were focused on all the exits, or he was sure that Abby and McGee would have had that footage by now. A shudder went through him at the thought.

Definitely was going to have nightmares for weeks about this.