AN: Huh? What 's this? I updated this story before The Familiar and the Zero?
Well, yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have NOT given up on that project, this one simply is more amusing, and therefore funnier to work on, thus I decided to focus on this one for a while, at least until… some stuff settles here.
Also, fun thing, I was writing this chapter actually… and then realized I was missing a ton of proper setting (this may be a parody but I still want it to be well written, somewhat XD), so what I wrote ended up becoming part of the next chapter, while this one is the one you're getting right now.
And I have also decided to answer reviews on the upper AN, in contrast to the lower half, do tell me if you like it more like that or if you'd rather have me keep them down ^_^
Anchovyisbest: Oh, it'll be one good interaction and something I'll have a lot of fun doing. Though, I am wondering, do you people think the meeting itself will be a huge set-up for a perfect punchline or just non-stop madness? Now I have left you with more doubts~ (*Insert Evil Laughter*)
TMI Fairy:
-Yep, it's one of the things that messed her up.
-Well, one of them was doing it to gain info, the other one simply to see what the gossip was about, and it seemed in character for both xd
-Pffft, understandable XD
-Nah, nah, nah… Siesta reads trash, and Cattleya stuff that is a tad better than it (yes, they're both fucked XD)
-Huh… well, guess that's one thing to add to the list of stuff I didn't know, and which tells me that no fandom is safe from badly written Mary and Gary stu's ;-;
-Thanks for the long review again, I like these ones a lot ^_^
With the reviews answered, let us move to the chapter!~
(THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 1K VISITS! 20+ favorites! and 40 followers! You're all the best! :3)
Tabitha watched her prey moving around the library in the most subtle way possible, trying to look like she wasn't doing anything suspicious other than reading a book. A book definitely for her age and grade named; "The Fun Adventures of Baldur!"
Yeah, anyone putting a slight bit of attention to the girl would notice she wasn't really putting any attention to any of the words in the book, instead taking various quick peeks at the tall girl who resembles Louise walking around the halls, looking at books, picking one, reading its title, looking gloomy, and putting it back on its place before moving on.
She heard Beatrice whispering stuff like "Lack of Manga" or "Where's the smut?", but Tabitha had no idea what half of that even meant. Probably those were specific textbooks about some grand scheme of hers, maybe having to do with what she told Louise yesterday regarding Void Mages.
Tabitha, while shocked about it at first, soon began calming down and thinking a little more calmly. If this girl did come from the future, then she must be speaking from first hand experiences and therefore her words are true, proving that the Brimic church is indeed made-up of a bunch of lying rats.
Not like Tabitha would be against it, it's been so long since she stopped believing, so long since she was taken away her reasons to believe in the first place, and thus, more than willing to accept that Brimir was just a really powerful mage and not a God.
If he were a God, one as kind and passionate as texts describe him as, she would be a happy girl, commoners wouldn't have to be afraid of a group of Ogres attacking them any day of the week, people wouldn't be terrified of going to sleep with the chances of a vampire attacking suddenly their house… and her Mother would not be an insane woman who needs to be checked on constantly to make sure she's not hurting herself by accident.
However… on the other hand… she simply couldn't bring herself to be serious about those claims of time travel.
There's no proof that the Summoning Spell ever yanked something from the future, and if it did, then it should have ceased existing the moment it came into being here, because there's no way anything or anyone from the future would remain normal, they'd do something to alter their own existence, and then they'd cease existing.
It wasn't even a written theory by a professional on the topic, it's common sense.
So meeting her "Mom", telling her all these things, etcetera… it was bound to erase her from the timeline since long ago, but since it didn't happen, then obviously it's a ploy.
"Um, excuse me." Tabitha watched as Beatrice approached a teacher, her Earth class teacher to be more precise, "Do you know where the novels for all ages are?" She then watched as the kindly older woman pointed at a certain shelf before Beatrice gave a polite bow, "Thank you."
"..." At least she did appear being Noble, or at least having good manners, a strange thing to see given the way she so carelessly caused thousands of ECUs worth of damage.
No, maybe she is actually Louise's twin, with some hair dye here and there, some contacts for her eye color, and other smaller details to make it look as if she were her daughter. It is a convincing act she must say, Kirche has fallen for it like a dumbass for sure… or maybe it was the fact that Beatrice is just much nicer to her than Louise ever would be.
Which, to be fair, Kirche did kind of earn that hostility from their classmate after so much bullying.
Still, the point is, Tabitha is sure of it. Beatrice is the same as her, sent by an exterior force to get information, earn people's trust, and then take something away. Beatrice knows Louise is a Void Mage, which is perfect confirmation for Tabitha too, she can just snatch the pink-haired on her sleep and flee on Sylphid to Gallia.
However she decided to not act yet, to see if Beatrice was truly a Void Mage as well, maybe witness her doing an actual Void Spell and teaching it to Louise. Not as much because she wanted to kidnap Bea too, but because she needed to give a proper report to her Uncle.
Brimir knows he can read her like an open book and lying is meaningless in front of him.
After a moment, Tabitha noticed Beatrice picking up a novel, then looking a bit annoyed but defeated, and walking over to Tabitha's direction.
Curious, maybe she knows Tabitha is also an agent and wants to let her know that her work isn't going to be so easy anymore, maybe give her a death threat over reading some books, or try to establish a truce.
It is not the first time Tabitha has had to deal with people who act dumb but are smart, and she will sure as hell get all the information she can out of this girl!
Beatrice took a seat, put down her book named; "Magik's Magical Adventures", and turned her head to the blue-haired spy. "Hi, Auntie Charlotte, do you mind if I read next to you?"
And Tabitha's world crumbled apart faster than Montmorency and Katie's after hearing Guiche would remain impotent without the use of potions and his fertility was put into legitimate question.
BOOM
Another explosion goes off and Louise growls while staring at her wand in pure rage. She came to the forest next to the Academy in order to have a walk, and during it, she couldn't help but kick every single rock that came in her way. All pebbles were kicked to the side, until she found a big rock she couldn't kick without hurting herself.
So of course, she decided to prove Beatrice's words wrong now!
She? A Void Mage?
That was as likely to happen as Guiche's scarred dick becoming potent without the need of potions… She was surprised he decided to not press for anything bad. Then again, after surviving that blast, Louise thinks he won't be doing anything bad again!
He's yet to come to classes… or grupal breakfast… or anything after all… has he and Montmorency even talked yet?
Anyways, the point is, she'd prove herself that she isn't anything as legendary and absurd as a Void Mage!
She began with a wind spell… which blew up in her face, cracking the rock a bit.
"Grr… Fireball!"
Another explosion went off, cracking the big boulder even more.
"Come on…!" She aimed her wand again, "Water Blast!"
Yet, another failure is what she met.
Panting a little, Louise felt her eyes wetting up before shaking her head and aiming a final time, "Earth Pillar!"
The fourth explosion met her, the rock was fully destroyed… and Louise fell to her knees, grabbing grass with her enraged hand as she turned it into a fist.
It made sense, the reason her spells wouldn't work, the reason why no one could find out what was wrong with her, and the reason why she felt like she could cast spells all day long, even if they were failures.
There's no other logical answer; if her element is none of the main four, then by default it must be the fifth one: Void.
Such a heretic realization, and the one that seemed to be a fact.
Part of her wondered what she was even doing there, what was the point, what would she achieve? No one can teach her anything, the only one that could teach her died six thousand years ago at the hands of the Elves, and she doubted they'd teach her a thing if they knew.
So what else is there for Louise?
Become a house-wife for Wardes and have a happy life with him? No, wait, that would make Beatrice's existence stop happening, right?
"She's not… stop it, she's lying to you, Louise!" The Noble girl got up and tossed the grass on her hand to the ground and kicked at the ground again, "She's just trying to get in your head, do you tricks, and then make you jump off the highest floor in the Academy!"
No, that was dumb, Beatrice was a huge bitch, sure, but she didn't seem like she sought forward to hurting someone on purpose.
"Ha, tell that to the money my family owes."
Well, maybe she simply lacked the training for her spells, like you do, Louise.
"Haa… you know, for calling herself a Void Mage too, she sure has as little control as I do." Louise began scratching her cheek while pondering on how exactly her supposed adult self would have even learnt Void spells.
Maybe by the use of ancient texts in the royal library? Perhaps some secret artifact within the Academy's holds? Or maybe Beatrice does know someone of the present who could help her out?
"Come on, as if that useless mini-cow knew something." Louise commented with a pout.
Yeah, she's just a lying fuck, no way she'd knew of someone who could teach her magic, guess she'll just have to be comfortable with being an explosive girl who can cast nothing but explosions for the rest of her pathetic life despite all the years poured into this!
"... FINE! YOU WIN!" Louise stomped hard on the ground, "I'll ask her and be done with this! Are you satisfied now?!"
… Louise, who are you talking to?
"...'' It took her a little too much time realizing that she's been going back and forth with herself, and upon realizing it a small blush formed on her cheeks… before it quickly left them.
It's not like anyone would be conveniently walking around here to see her getting like that.
Louise turned around, ready to head back to the Academy… and found Siesta having been following after her and watching her with a genuinely worried expression.
"..."
"..."
"M-Maid." The blush began going back to Louise's cheeks. "What in the name of the F-Founder are you doing here?"
"I-... I watched you walk into the forest… alone… and I got a little worried about you… Lady Beatrice said you were her Mom after all…" Siesta replied with an honestly worried tone.
Louise could understand where the Maid was coming from. A lot of people in the Academy already bought into her whole ploy, and she shouldn't be surprised a member of the maid staff, the same one she helped out the other day, is one of those to believe her.
Still… that did mean Siesta watched Louise having a heated argument… with herself.
"Um…" The Maid began pressing her index fingers together while looking down in some embarrassment, "Should I-... take you to the Water Mages to check on your-"
"I'M PERFECTLY FINE!"
No, you aren't.
Louise frowned. "Have cake ready in my room by the time I'm done."
"Yes, M'Lady!"
Louise wonders if this is what the future will hold for her from here to the day of her death.
...
Eh, it can be worse.
"Doubt it."
"THIS IS THE WORST! I DEMAND AN ACTUAL LAWYER TO BACK ME UP, NOT A GROUP OF LITERAL CHILDREN!" Louise slammed her hands against the stool assigned to her.
Of course, she let Saito decide the words they'd be using for their next incantation, and luckily for them, they landed somewhere that could be called "Familiar".
For their bad luck, it was Familiar in the sense they were back to Earth… problem is that they weren't outside as they would have liked, instead they were inside of a school that seemed to have completely shut itself completely. The entrance? Guarded by Mini-guns that will open fire the moment they try to do anything.
Sure, there were a lot of people in the place who were just as lost as them, 15 students to be exact, none of them having had any knowledge on how they got here.
Then came the unexpected, a teddy bear of all things popped out, declared itself the Headmaster, and then claimed they had to kill someone to get out.
Oh, sure, that sounds simple. Except it has to be in a detective sort of way, leave no traces, and let everyone get it wrong. Apparently, because they were not expected to be attending this sick game, Louise and Saito became "last minute transfer students", and their "bedroom" was a rather nice queen-sized bed mattress placed just outside of the kitchen hall. They-... lacked privacy, sure, but the stupid bear couldn't kill them without any reason since they weren't breaking the rules.
So they had to go on like this, just 3 days and they'd be free to go.
Problem is someone went nuts, an idol was murdered in the shower, then a fashionista ended up kicking the bear and being stabbed to death, and now here they were. The murderer was obviously the generic looking anime protagonist.
The corpse was found in his room after all, so therefore he must be it!
Saito decided against it, alongside a rich boy and a mysterious girl that reminded them of Tabitha a little too much. The trial went back and forth… until the verdict was reached.
And Saito was forced to face-palm at the stupid decision reached.
"UPUPUPU!" The sadistic bear giggled while its eyes glowed red. "Sorry, but the blackened is not Louise!"
"WHAT?!" A teenager who looked like he belonged to a gang group slammed his hands on his own stool at hearing of their failure.
"B-But… she was the only one who kept claiming about murdering someone to get out even before the motivation!" A teenager who looked a little high declared while also looking surprised.
"A-And I told you we were still missing evidence to present!" The generic looking protagonist turned to the headmaster, who simply sighed.
He would have kept the game going a bit longer… but really, that Louise screamed so much she didn't let the trial progress!
He may be a machine, but the person operating it could only handle so much despair… and this pink haired adult loli shattered the limits of it a long time ago!
"Well, a saddening turn of events, now then, the real Blackened will be spared!~ Meanwhile, the rest of you~" A red button popped up from underneath the bear as he pulled out a hammer, "It is punishment time!~"
He slammed it down onto the button… and nothing happened.
"..." He slammed it again, and again, and again… but nothing happened. "... What just happened?"
The cameras looking at the trial going on began shaking violently, as did the lights of the trial… and suddenly, a voice came out through the mics.
"I'm in control, baby!" Derflinger declared while every single electronic device suddenly began getting runes similar to those of Saito's hand, and the man finally sighed in relief at his partner.
Since the school's system is connected to machine gun's, spears, traps, and various machinery specifically decided to execute them, Saito thought that maybe the school system could count as a weapon to move Derflinger into… and it worked just fine it seems~
"O-Oi! Only the Headmaster can take control of the Academy's electronic devices! Leave now, illegal immigrant!" The bear declared while showing its claws.
"..." A mini-gun turned to Monokuma and shredded him to pieces alongside his throne, "Alright, I got the real idiot locked up, I could blow up the room, but I assume you want to have a friendly talk with her, right?~"
Makoto finally decided to talk after-... the weird series of events, "Um-... no, could you-like, just-... let us out and let the police deal with her?"
Before Derflinger could answer, Louise rushed to the lucky boy's place and pushed him to the ground for no real reason, "No, keep her there… and you, shy girl!"
"Meep!" The Ultimate Novelist flinched at being called.
"Give me a pair of scissors, I know you have either those or a knife somewhere in that skirt of yours, I'll be sure to give that asshole a piece of my mind~"
"Louise." Her husband got off his stool too and walked to her, "Your magic must have already charged, can we leave? Please? We really-... need to get going."
"..." Louise turned once more to the black-haired girl, "Actually, give me two pairs of scissors!"
Saito chuckled weakly and shuddered, "I-I mean-... t-take your time, honey."
As the situation began defusing and everyone began calming down, the red-haired boy began sweating profoundly… before he felt a hand being put on his shoulder. He found the dead on the inside looking girl staring right into his eyes.
"... Please, don't tell anyone." Leon frowned sadly as Kirigiri shook her head. As the Ultimate "?" she couldn't let any criminal act go unpunished.
And thanks to those two strange variables, this whole show may have gone in way kinder than it would have otherwise.
But hey, at least once the doors are opened this'll be over.
"Uh…" Derflinger began speaking once more, "One of you may want to use the gacha machine on the first floor and try to get some gas masks, I-... think you'll need them." The first steps would be the most awkward, but thanks to the two interdimensional travelers, the world may have had some of its greatest Hope assets saved… and then immediately murdered because they never went through any sort of character development nor learnt the truth of what happened by themselves.
But that's a story our Heroic Duo would not stay at to live. Hopefully, the place the next portal gets them to is the one they're searching for…
… as if they were that lucky, Saito classified as the Ultimate Unlucky Student, and Louise as the Ultimate Zero. They'd be stuck doing this for a while.
For now, time to gut out an evil masochist!
AN: Will Saito and Louise ever reach a FoZ world? Who knows, with their luck they could land in H1roshima moments before it went boom XD
Also, yes, I did make a critique on how the Back to the Future time travel formula is now rarely used when people tend to prefer either the Loop formula or the Multiverse formula. Which is funny, given I do the same thing here, but at least I am a tad more subtle, I think XD
Thanks for reading, again, people. I hope you have a wonderful day/night/evening there, and if you wish to review go ahead, it just gives me motivation to keep on going, but knowing you guys read my work is also enough to make me happy too ^_^
Shadic out~
