For many Halkeginian Commoners, the concept of Anxiety is something that could describe the way they feel most of the time when nothing of big importance is going on: They're people who live under the heel of brats who can legally kill them at any moment if those children simply don't like the way they're dressed. Sure, it's not literally like that, but again, the Noble can simply say the commoner was whispering about plotting against the crown, even if they weren't.

And what was the voice of a hundred-nay, a thousand commoners over the voice of a mere psychopathic child?

Adults were worse, they could arrive at any village at any time and declare a group of people at random to become their new workers, butlers, maids, concubines, mistresses, slaves, and again, there was nothing they could do about it.

That feeling of Anxiety… is just what Louise Francoise Le Blanc de la Valliere was feeling as her supposed daughter had picked up the blade who was supposed to be her partner from today onwards.

It was ridiculous. Nobles did not stoop as low as to use a melee weapon, nor a bow and arrow (unless hunting for sport), and much less a gun. Yet, today in this beautiful Void Day, Beatrice told Louise the only person who could give them their knowledge on Void magic was within the capital in a cheap weapons store.

Still suspecting of Beatrice, but having some amount of faith in the contact this dumbass has that could help Louise find her element, Louise pushed her worries dead and decided to guide her here.

Once in the capital, the taller girl began going to random weapons shops seeking a specific sword, and after an hour of going store by store, she seemed to finally find what she was going to pick; an ugly sword that clearly no one had taken care of for a really long time.

Louise should have suspected something when the shop owner almost gifted them the sword… and she now fully regrets it.

"So, you telling me that in the future, I become part of the Gandalfr's runes and am able to switch up between blades and weapons in general at will?!" The sword, Derflinger, cheered in joy as he talked with Beatrice who was happily strolling around with the sword in front of her face.

"Yep! Though… according to Dad, that only happened because you shattered while he was using you, and even then, it took you various hours to wake up. He thought you died." Beatrice complimented with a bit of a slightly more serious tone.

"Who cares?! Point is I lived! I lived and got sharper!" The blade kept on roaring in joy, "Quick, try slashing Pinkie in half, then get me near her legs to see if I possess them!"

"H-Hey! What the FUC-..." Louise managed to bit her lip before swearing in public, and already she could see people looking judgingly in her direction, "... Ahem, why do you think that will happen, Mister Derflinger?~" The tone of the small Noble was a "calmer" one with a vein of pure rage clearly popping on her forehead.

Derflinger, however, decided he felt suicidal today, and really, with how much rust was both around his blade, and inside of it, he couldn't wait to possess even a damn kitchen knife! "Because nothing's deadlier and resilient than one angry flat chested child!"

The air around the three of them became cold, so cold in fact that a couple passerbys felt a chill of pure dread go down their spines.

Yet, despite it, Louise's eyes showed nothing but pure fire. Fire that had come straight out of hell.

Giving a quick spin in place, she began delivering a roundhouse kick towards Derflinger's blade, threatening to shatter it with a simple kick.

However, enlightenment arrived moments before the attack hit.

"So, where do you keep all of your whips and riding crops, Mommy?"

"RUN! MOMMY'S ANGRY I SNIFFED AUNTIE KIRCHE'S PANTIES! SHE'LL KILL US ALL!"

"Say, has Mommy ever kicked a dog? I'm curious if she did it here before moving to my place where it's not allowed to do so."

"Mommy, I'm not saying you'll get fat because I don't want to be hurt, but aren't you eating too many sweets?"

"Come on, you know you want to kick Uncle Guiche's impotent nuts~ Do it~ Let's see if he notices~"

"Derf, be careful with what you say to Mommy, she's a walking Tsundere template and will not hesitate to hurt you for praising her."

The foot stopped a literal inch away from the blade, after a small burst of the airwave created by what could have been such a powerful kick.

Silence was quick to arrive… and Louise put her leg and foot down while staring at the two of them with teary eyes, "Oh, so that's it… I finally found it out."

Beatrice tilted her head with some wide eyes, not having-... seen this side of her Mommy ever before. "E-Eh?"

"You just want me to turn me into the monster you describe me as. Is that the reason for this whole gist? Is your supposed "contact" just part of this show?" Louise sniffed once more, and unlike the fake crying she gave out when Beatrice first arrived… this one felt a bit more honest, "You just want to ruin what little image I have! I finally discovered your-" A hic came out of her, "-your Founderdamn evil plans! Well, guess what?!"

Beatrice and Derflinger opened their mouths (Derflinger doing his equivalent of it) to try and explain themselves to the girl, but a stomp from the angered Noble stopped them. It didn't have any anime OP shenanigans… and yet that's what made it scarier than those.

"I'm not turning into a monster!" She reached inside of her breast pocket and pulled out her wand… before snapping it in half in front of the two of them, "See?! Now I can't blow either of you if you make something dumb! PUM! Now vanish and die since I won't turn into the Monster who you claim gave you life!"

If Beatrice had time traveled like she first thought she had, maybe her Mother's actions and words would be enough to officially get Beatrice out of the possible existent timeline, like in Back to the Future!

Sadly, as time came to pass, she realized it was more like Dragon Ball's Time Travel. Changing the past doesn't alter the present, it just creates a new universe.

So she stopped trying to stick to the timeline and just… began doing what she wanted.

Sadly, she did not once stop to think that maybe her Mom was getting more and more stressed over it, and that eventually she'd reach her breaking point… her Mom's not a Mom after all, she's a teenage girl with an inferiority complex.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ha… s-see…?" Struggling to get the words out of her mouth, Louise began wiping the tears coming out of her eyes, "Y-You're just one, one big, stupid, and fat, liar…"

"M-Mom-"

"I'm not your Mom! Stop saying that you stupid fuck! Just shut up and die!" Having reached her breaking point, Louise turned around and ran off while crying, heading to the entrance of the capital to grab her horse and ride back to the Academy.

Meanwhile, Beatrice and Derflinger were left in place, realizing that the two went a bit too far.

The human girl turned to the sword, who seemed oddly quiet.

"... I'm sorry." It wasn't everyday Derflinger apologized, but again, it wasn't everyday that Derflinger made a girl cry.

Beatrice sighed at his apology, "No, I may be more at fault here… let's just not bother her for a while… I'm sure she'll get over it… she always does."

Despite her words of cheers, any chance of Louise becoming the woman she knows nowadays just went down the drains. Whether she'd be a better or worse version than the one she turned out to be is something that remains to be seen.


Tabitha wasn't sure if consider it luck that Louise and Beatrice separated, probably she should consider it as such.

Her Uncle had allowed her to go to Tristain's Academy after rumors of the Valliere's youngest failure would attend, all just to check on her status as a Void mage and if so, take her upon confirmation.

Sure, she was quite hesitant about it. Even if she turned out to be the Void Mage of Tristain, she was as useless and as much of a loser as rumors claimed her to be. What good would she be to her Uncle?

Though, that would soon stop mattering. Tabitha had gotten verbal confirmation from a supposed "daughter of the future", so now that Louise was alone, defenseless, and whatnot, she should be jumping in on her.

No one would be able to react if she froze her legs, knocked her out with a smack to the head, and flew off to Gallia on Sylphid.

The guards would arrive when it was too late. And even if they managed to get here before she flew off, none of them held pistols like the royal guard; they'd be no threat to take out.

Yet… something was restraining her on it, despite the more than perfect opportunity.

"Gee… poor Zero." And no, it wasn't the red-haired slut next to her. Tabitha would just ditch her and call it a day.

There was something else… something she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"What do you mean by that heresy?! I can't be-... I-... I can't be a Void Mage…" Louise spoke with pure disbelief in her voice.

Beatrice, however, shook her head, "Mother, everything you believed in is false. Like-... Magic is not what you think it is, Brimir is not what you think it is, and-... I can't really prove it right now, but I can assure you… you found a lot of things in the future, things you told me. I can help make things go better! Like a good child should do for her Mommy!"

"Everyone in Halkeginia is a Void Mage". A sentence that could get a Noble, his loved ones, and those who ever interacted with him at least once, all in the stake to be burnt, even royalty not being safe from it.

And yet that girl claimed it so easily in front of a Noble, not only one, but one that would do anything to get approval from someone… from somewhere, anywhere.

Maybe Beatrice knew Louise wouldn't call her out due to being her Familiar, or maybe she was just that insane… goodness knows the latter is more than possible.

Especially so much more with her keeping up the whole "daughter of the future" thing. Tabitha knows very well that statement was most likely false due to the way time travel would theoretically work… Tabitha used to know…

"Oh, hi there Auntie Charlotte!"

No one in the world had the right to know that. As far as everyone knows, Charlotte D' Orleans is a chevalier from Gallia at the direct service of the King. Chevaliers don't tend to be children, and even then, a Chevalier tends to NOT be a spy. There's no realistic or logical reason for anyone to consider that "Tabitha" is "Charlotte D' Orleans"... and yet, she hadn't just considered nor assumed it, she perfectly knew it.

She then asked her about her Mom, about Illococoo, about-... everything. And it wasn't even in a questioning tone, it was more in the tone of an old friend checking up on another.

Things that not even her Uncle, Cousin, or her butler knew of her… this was beyond the work of any spy, it must be someone with some spell that allowed them to read their mind… or her having told a cute girl who looked up at her when she was younger, a girl who was like a niece to her.

And the only way for that to happen is-... if a future version of herself had done it.

Which means-... her claims are truth… and it'd be stupid to not gain her favor.

"..." Tabitha sighed… and hit Kirche's side with her staff.

"Agh?! What was that for?!" Her friend demanded while rubbing her side a little too sensually.

"Wandless Noble wandering alone. Could bring problems to herself." A quick and short reply that made Kirche nod. And the two began to stalk Louise now with intentions of making sure she's fine… she could interrogate Beatrice later, specifically on some… more personal stuff.

But that is for later, for now all that matters is making sure-SHIT! Someone suspicious is already preparing a bag to shove Louise in!

"!" Well, time to babysit an angry noble who forgot what common sense is in a rage attack!


Saito was done babysitting an adult loli Noble who refused to make use of common sense!

"Berserker! I don't care about Onii-Chan, his Servant, or that stupid Tohsaka! KILL THE PINK-HAIRED!" An angry girl wearing a coat for the cold yelled at her giant "soldier" as it smashed the female Knight aside like she was a fly, only to then rush over to a scared Louise who barely jumped out of harm's way, being then sent flying away by the shockwave of the beast's slam down of its blade.

How did this start? Well, Saito and Louise opened a new portal to continue their search, and thankfully enough it was an Earth that looked… far more normal than the last one they went to. It wasn't their main target but it looked like they were safe from Shenanigans for a while at least… as if it lasted.

They heard stories of some murders going around at night, so being unable to keep their noses away from it they investigated it… and immediately regretted it when a guy in a blue condom spandex attacked them with a lance.

If not for Louise's spells debuffing the enemy, they would have died!

Then came the black-haired chick with her non-saber non-archer Archer and decided to give them shelter in her manor in exchange of a supposed "alliance", all while referring to Saito as 'Saber' for some reason.

She explained to them this Holy Grail War going on and how they got in the middle of it, and after kindly explaining their situation to the girl, she laughed at their faces, then laughed harder, then looked like if she got a migraine, then the white-haired dude tried to calm the black-haired teen down, she got furious… and Louise and her quickly found a lot of things in common.

Then he and the Archer were forced to live the worst days of their lives under the care of not one, but TWO Tsunderes!

Part of them even thought of genuinely ridding the one not related to themselves, but ultimately couldn't bring themselves to. One was the other's wife, and the other was essential to the fact the guy was alive in the first place, so that soon went to the board.

Yes, they had come to respect each other's pain so much they wouldn't kill the nuisance bothering them just because it'd hurt the other negatively.

What a true friendship!

During this time Archer had taught Saito about magical circuits, and while Saito had practically an F rank in magic, he could only grip on strengthening his body and blade with some weird circuits things, which hey, he doesn't mind learning.

Sadly, Louise learnt it too… and now he has to constantly run from his wife whenever he sees her with just a frown!

A day passed on them helping their host out on whatever she may need, and that's when they encountered the weirdo in a spandex suit again, fought him, got a civilian killed, revived a civilian, got the civilian a hero of the past, said hero of the past almost kills Archer, and now they were all here in front of a church… alongside the goliath and loli in front of them.

Louise, for some reason, thought it'd be a good idea to boast about being a Goddess, which she TECHNICALLY is with the Void, and how that mass of brain-dead muscles was nothing against her.

She tossed her strongest spell on it, and-... surprisingly, the man did die!

Once!

And then revived and looked angrier than Louise on her periods!

Afterwards, the female knight the civilian summoned began handling the match (terribly so at that, she was losing badly), and Saito joined in to bring in at least some support.

Sure, his katana is useless against the monster's muscles, but that wouldn't stop him from at least gaining the blonde knight a chance or two to strike. Really though, if he didn't have the Gandalfr runes… Saito doubted he would have been able to react to the warrior's speed and strength.

So far, they were losing badly, but at least they weren't doing bad…!

Until his wife had to open her mouth again!

"Don't you get it?! This is my revenge, Onii-Chan!" The small psychopathic girl declared while Saito and Saber kept on trying to resist Berserker's endless barrage of attacks.

"... Revenge? For what? For being taller than you despite you being the oldest? Growing up, I got used to it, even being a Mom with less bust than my man. Stop being a kid and maybe you'll attract a man for yourself." Louise called Ilya out on what she completely thought to be an inferiority complex, because of course, no one can have problems on things she didn't have! All the people with problems must have first class spoiled Noble brat problems!

Which leads to, of course, now Saito and Saber needing to buy time for Louise to run away with her head!

"I'm-... so sorry!" Saito managed to cry out while slashing at the Berserks' ankle.

Saber replied with a slash of her own to the enemy's wrist, making him grunt and twist his giant blade at the two swordsmen trying to fight it, "I swear, if Berserker, Rin, or Ilya don't kill her, I will!"

"GRAAA!"

How the two of them wish Saber hadn't practically incapacitated Archer indefinitely, a third set of swords would fit them properly!

Shirou watched the scene play out with half a deadpan, and part of him began wondering… "Tohsaka, if we toss Louise to Ilya, do you think she'll let us go for the night?" He is not like this. He is a man who wants to become a SuperHero, someone who'll do justice across the world and protect the weak!

… However, killing Louise will bring more good than bad, right? Like-... it's a small price to pay to get rid of someone who brings danger with them, RIGHT!?

On the side, Archer watched as the pink loli did nothing to help his situation, but made it worse by calling Ilya more names, and now his target is already thinking like him and he hasn't sold his soul to the world yet!

"This can't get worse…" Archer thought before fate replied to his temptations.

A light red-haired girl walked out of a set of bushes, confused and dizzy, "Mashu… I think I walked into the rayshift room while asleep…"

The combatants in front of the church stopped for a moment to take a look at the new arrival. Unbelievably, the ancient mad Greek Hero did it as well.

"... Oh, look, Artoria! Herakles! Ishtar! Muramasa! Sitonai! WAZ UP!? ARE THERE ANY QUARTZ NEARBY?! IS THAT WHY YOU'RE FIGHTING?! TO SEE WHO GIVES THEM TO ME FIRST?!" A psychopathic look that beat Ilya's presented itself on the girl's face, no, screw that, it was haunting their nightmares!, "Because if I don't have my daily amount of Quartz, I'll have to toss one of you into the fire to sate my thirst~"

"..."

Saito and Archer took a step away from this woman-... no, this beast. All while the two of them prayed to an end to their pain and suffering.

One of them would eventually be summoned by a time-space organization to keep on meddling in Shenanigans like this one run by this same psychopath because the actual boss is dead.

The other one still has another infinite number of realities to travel to before he can even be close to finding his daughter.

All in all, just a normal Wednesday.


AN: Another chapter comes to an end~

Also, from today onwards, no more ANs at the start of the chapters due to majority of votes, may update other chapters to change this as well. ^v^

Also, HAPPY SHIROU DAY, sheeple!

[It's 20th where I am, leave me be XD]

The plot thickens, with this change, will Teen Louise turn into a cartoon of herself? Will she have actual character development? Will Kirche and Beatrice fuck?! Find out next time on Louise's Mommy Issues~

... A friend of mine suggested that change, and I'll probably put it next chapter, this one I wanted it to be a tad more serious.

Why? Because this is only a half-cracked fic! It literally says so in the description XD

Now, time to answer reviews~

Bobb1: RIP Junko XD

TMI Fairy:
-She was lucky enough to avoid death by Waifu.
-Nah~ The Gramonts may be a military powerful family, but Karin is a monster both in power and in actual political stance. She's a duchess, only one rank beneath royalty~ So bad idea if they try anything XD

As always, thank you all for reading my story and reviewing, hope you all have a wonderful day there! ^_^