ROUND FIVE: Primetime & Dr. Disappointed

"HE'S A FAN FAVORITE, PROUD PART-TIME DAD, AND PROUD FULL-TIME ANNOYANCE. NOW LET'S HEAR SOME APPLAUSE FOR THE ONE, THE ONLY, PRIMETIME!"

Another turtle flipped down from the tower to land next to Doctor Disappointed, who was whooping and hollering.

"ME!" He winked before holding the mic out and dropping it.

Sparklers went off around the perimeter of the cleared area. Primetime stood up, flipped his mask tails over his shoulder, and turned to his partner. He pulled a pair of orange triangular glasses from his pocket, flicked them open, and placed them on his face. "Give it to me straight Doc, how bad are we gonna crush the competition tonight?"

Doctor Disappointed pulled a clipboard out of thin air and flipped through its pages, "According to these projections, this fight will be disappointingly short."

"Ah, that's a shame. I wanted to put on a show."

Primetime was in baggy shorts with a large blue shirt pulled over his shell. His neck was covered in flashy necklaces, and he had a baseball cap flipped sideways on his head. His arms had the same black wrappings Donatello had, with matching ones on his legs which ended below the knee. Doctor Disappointed had similar leg wraps but had placed black knee pads with sad faces stitched into them in orange over his own knees.

Primetime and Doctor Disappointed jumped off of their container platform and casually approached Leo's team, who instantly dropped into a fighting stances.

"Woah, woah, guys, relax. The round hasn't started yet."

"Yeah, we just want to get a good look at the alternate versions of our brothers. And let me just say, Other-Donnie, really? That hand placement?"

Doctor Disappointed walked around Donnie, shaking his head and giving him a disappointed look.

Primetime unexpectedly slid right up in Leo's personal space, Leo jumped back. "Hmm… I thought you would be taller." Primetime put a hand on his head and swung it out over Leo's. A good five inches above Leo, Leo sadly noted. His mask was a bright blue, denoting him as Leo's counterpart. This must be 'Evil-Leonardo', as they had been referring to him as. Primetime walked around Leo in a small circle, looking him up-and-down. Leo didn't like it.

Doctor Disappointed put his head in his hands, "Girl, you paired those shoes with that shirt?"

"Hey!"

"You could do better. And you," Doctor Disappointed turned to Casey, pushing his glasses up, "you are a fashion nightmare. And don't get me started on your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

Primetime started giggling. Everyone looked over. Primetime was staring down at an increasingly irritated Raph. Doctor Disappointed started giggling too.

"What?! What is it?!"

Primetime tried to smother his smile, "I want to make a joke about how short you are, but I'm worried it will go over your head."

Leo tried not to laugh. Doctor Disappointed facepalmed. Raph didn't seemed to have figured the joke out yet.

"You really went with that joke?"

"What, was it too low a blow?"

"Oh, that was bad," Donnie cringed. Leo tried very hard not to erupt into laughter. Raph was still confused, and Casey took pity on him. Casey leaned over and whispered "He's calling you short."

"Short! You're not even half a foot taller than me!"

"Yeah, but," Primetime smartly backed up before saying, "at least I don't need a stepstool to reach the shelf."

Raph growled.

"Oh, I think I poked the bear. Alright let's get this show on the road," Primetime bounded over to the fallen microphone, Doctor Disappointed following. "Alright Donnie, give us a count down!"

What came over the speakers was the unmistakable sound of the Mario Cart countdown music.

Bum.

Primetime tossed a katana to Doctor Disappointed.

Bum.

Where did he even get the katana? He wasn't wearing a belt or a sheath.

Bum.

Primetime was now holding his own katana, and the duo bent down into a racing start stance.

Bing!

They took off, each running towards the makeshift walls. Leo focused on Primetime. Primetime ran up the wall, and on his way down there was a flash. Suddenly Doctor Disappointed was in his place, wielding fire. He leapt at Leo.

Leo dove out of the way, Doctor Disappointed landing in the spot he had just vacated. He swung his weapon out at Leo. It was some kind of chain. That was glowing. And on fire. At least this time it was the color fire was supposed to be, unlike Other-April's green fire bat.

Doctor Disappointed swung his chain over his head like a lasso, and then there was another flash. Now Primetime was in his place and charging Leo. Leo pulled up both his swords in a quick attempt to block Primetime's. The three swords clanged together.

Leo saw Primetime's smug face right before there was another flash to Primetime's left. Leo shot a glance and saw a blue katana forming in Primetime's hand out of thin air. Leo shoved Primetime off of him in time to avoid the blow from Primetime's new weapon.

This time Leo lunged at Primetime, and Primetime caught a blade on each of his own. They began circling each other. Leo was used to fighting two handed against opponents who only fought with one weapon at a time. Raph and Mikey fought with two, but that was different. Raph had the shortest of short-range weapons, and Mikey's chains allowed his nunchucks to move in a completely different way than a sword. Right now Primetime matched him in range and reach. Leo was essentially fighting his own reflection.

Leo suddenly wished he was still fighting Doctor Disappointed.


Raph was slightly afraid of Doctor Disappointed. Doctor Disappointed grinned as he danced around them, doing the types of flips that would make Mikey jealous. He was fast and his weapon allowed him incredible reach. Raph still hadn't figured out what it was. He was more concerned with dodging it.

Casey kept trying to get close, but Doctor Disappointed would slam the end of the chain down on Casey, making craters in the dirt. It reminded Raph of when Leo made them watch Lord of the Rings, and one of the villains had a giant flail. Raph had found that fight annoying, all you had to do was be faster than the big but slow weapon. Doctor Disappointed's weapon was small but fast and it packed more force than the giant CGI flail ever had. Also Doctor Disappointed's weapon was on fire, so, extra danger. Yay.

Donnie was rummaging through his belts, looking for one of his other weapons. April was in the same predicament as Raph, unable to get any closer.

Donnie shouted something and tossed an object at Doctor Disappointed, who batted it away with his chain. The object exploded against the wall of shipping containers. It was just a smoke bomb.

April ran in while Doctor Disappointed's back was still turned to her. Doctor Disappointed noticed her coming and ducked. Doctor Disappointed hooked April's ankle with his chain and started spinning her around. Donnie ducked in time but Raph didn't, and April plowed into him. Doctor Disappointed released April and they were both thrown across the clearing.

"Ow…"

"That hurt."

Raph pushed himself to his knees and checked on April.

"I'm fine, just dizzy. But I think Leo needs help."

Raph looked over to see Primetime kick Leo into a glowing blue circle. Another circle opened behind him and Leo flew out of it and hit the ground. Primetime calmy walked up to Leo, and seemed to be chattering about something. Leo was still pushing himself off the ground.

Raph charged at Primetime, sais at the ready. Primetime wasn't expecting him and frantically swung one of his swords out in front of himself. Raph hooked the blade in the tongs of a sai, the other making contact with Primetime's plastron.

Primetime slid backwards away from Raph and Leo. He began poking at the sizable rip Raph just put in his shirt. Raph glanced back at Leo, who was now upright.

"Thanks Raph."

"Yeah, thanks Raph. Now I have a hole in my shirt."

Primetime flipped his right sword over his wrist, switching to a back hand grip. Raph felt April run up beside them.

Primetime shifted his stance and leaned in, smirk on his face. His face and arm stripes began glowing.

"Uh, what's happening?"

Primetime shot at them like he was fired out of a cannon, screaming "HOT SOUP" the whole distance. Raph instinctually raised his hands up.

Primetime's right blade made contact with April's tessans while his left got lodged in one of Raph's sais. Primetime easily spun off of April and landed a backwards kick on Leo. He attempted to stab Raph, but Raph caught his other sword with the other sai. April swung at his head and he ducked down, pulling his blades free as he went. He popped back up next to Leo, who swiped at Primetime's back. Raph heard the sound of metal hitting shell.

Primetime jumped to the side and looked behind himself, "Another hole, come on!"


Casey was getting tired. Doctor Disappointed was nearly impossible to touch. Donnie suggested they try and lead him into the maze of shipping containers, something about limiting his mobility. So Casey was standing by the entrance and hollering at Doctor Disappointed, trying to get Doctor Disappointed to chase him into the maze.

Donnie had managed to push Doctor Disappointed back enough he jumped up the wall. When Donnie turned and ran towards Casey, Casey took off into the maze. He heard a loud thump off to his left.

"Split up! He can only follow one of us!" Casey heard Donnie yell, and Casey took a sharp turn away from the arena.

Doctor Disappointed was running along the tops of the containers, but the sounds of his footsteps quickly faded. He must've run after Donnie.

Casey slowed to a walk, hoping to catch his breath. He turned around, planning to get back to Donnie and help before he realized he was lost. Casey tried to climb the wall of a few different shipping containers, but they were too smooth and too tall.

Casey kicked his foot against one of the containers, "I can't believe I got lost!"

"I can."

Casey yelled and turned towards the voice. Standing on the container behind him was Primetime, looking like some kind of action star. The yellow lights of the shipping yard illuminated him. He was standing with his sword resting on his shoulder, clothes and body covered in swatches of dirt. He had lost both the hat and second sword, and his shirt was ripped and barely hanging on him. Casey gulped.


"Primetime!"

Primetime turned towards Doctor Disappointed, who was standing on the makeshift wall. Leo stopped moving as well.

"Operation Cornfield!"

Doctor Disappointed jumped down the other side of the wall, a loud thump marking his landing.

What's operation cornfield? Leo saw Primetime smiling out of the corner of his eye. Leo turned back towards Primetime. Primetime ran towards the exit.

"Now we're talking! See ya!"

Leo shared a look with his teammates before running after Primetime, who quickly lost them in the maze of containers. Leo slowed to a halt at a dead end.

"Ugh!" Raph punched a shipping container, "He got away!"

"What do we do now?" April asked.

"We keep walking. Either we find Donnie and Casey, or we find Primetime and the doctor."

Leo picked a direction and started walking.

They had been walking for several minutes before suddenly a large shadow was cast over them. Leo looked up and saw Doctor Disappointed holding a shipping container above his head as if it weighed nothing. Leo's eyes went wide. Doctor Disappointed yelled "If you didn't see this coming, that's disappointing."

Doctor Disappointed then threw the container at them as if it were a simple basketball and they were the basket.


"So, Casey Number Three," Primetime was slowly pacing along the container roofs. Casey was reminded of cartoon leopards hunting. Primetime turned and walked back towards Casey, the light catching on the skin of his arms above his arm wrappings. "What's with the hockey sticks?"

"I, uh, like hockey."

"Ice or field?" Primetime put a hand on the edge of his container and jumped down.

"Ice hockey."

Primetime was walking towards him now, forcing Casey to walk backwards to keep some distance. "Hmm, good choice. I'm personally more of a basketball guy." Primetime lunged and Casey turned to the side, watching as Primetime's sword swept past him. "I was even the Daves team mascot for a while."

Casey kept backing up, and Primetime kept advancing. Casey's back hit up against a container and suddenly Primetime stabbed his sword in the space next to Casey's head. Primetime slammed his other hand on the wall above Casey's shoulder, caging him in. Casey's eyes danced between Primetime's arm muscles, Primetime's exposed chest, and Primetime's black rimmed eyes. It looks like Casey's postponed gay crisis wanted to be examined right now. Casey tried to focus on anything else.

"Are you okay dude? Your face is like really red."

"Oh, umm, ah-"

Primetime took his hand off the wall and places it on Casey's forehead, pushing Casey's bandana headband up and out of the way. Primetime's hand was cold and Casey instinctually shivered. Primetime's face narrowed in concern.

"You feel a little warm but I don't think you have a fever. You probably just overexerted yourself, and all these layers you're wearing aren't helping." Primetime took his hand back from Casey's sweaty hairline and whipped it on Casey's shoulder. He then ripped his sword out from the wall and used it to create a small glowing blue circle. Primetime stuck his arm in the circle and pulled out a yellow sports drink.

Primetime cracked the seal on the bottle's cap and grabbed Casey's right hand, pulling off his glove. Casey stood still in confusion. Primetime placed the drink into Casey's hand. "Drink this. It should help replace the electrolytes you lost and work towards rehydrating you."

Casey stared at Primetime. "Well go on, drink it. I'm worried you're gonna pass out if your body temp keeps increasing and you keep breathing that fast."

Casey took a sip. And then with Primetime's urging guzzled half of it.

"Good. Now I'm pulling you out for the rest of this round."

"What?!"

"You need a break, especially if you want to fight in the next two rounds. So as a medic I am medically tapping you from the rest of this round." Primetime placed a hand on the back of Casey's shoulder and gently pushed, "Here, I'll even walk you out."

"You can't tap me! Where in the rules does it say you can do that!"

"Consider it a subsection under the no-killing rule."

Primetime moved his hand around to the outside of Casey's arm and pulled Casey into him in an imitation half-hug. He then used this new leverage to drag Casey along with him as he walked.

"Now come on, let's find you a chair."


Donnie stopped running when he heard a huge crash. He jumped up and grabbed the edge of a container before pulling his head over it. Two hundred or so feet over Donnie saw Doctor Disappointed lifting shipping containers off the ground and tossing them.

Donnie pulled himself up the rest of the way before running towards Doctor Disappointed. He jumped from container to container, taking the most direct route. He could hear screams of "Move!", "Run!", and "What do we do?"

Donnie skidded to a stop a container away. He had to wait for the doctor to put down the container he was holding if Donnie didn't want to risk Doctor Disappointed dropping it on them both. As soon as Doctor Disappointed's hands were free Donnie attacked. Slamming his bo into the doctor's back and legs.

Doctor Disappointed pulled two nunchucks off his belt and began returning Donnie's attacks. They lit up in an orange glow. Donnie saw Leo and Raph make their way up to the top of the container as well. April began throwing stars from the ground.

Doctor Disappointed was quickly being overwhelmed.

Somehow Raph had gotten a hold of one end of a nunchuck and used its magically stretchy chain to tie Doctor Disappointed up. Doctor Disappointed went down.

"Well, frankly, I'm disappointed it took you this long-"

"Oh, shut it!"

The three horns were blasted. Raph cheered but Leo looked confused.

"Wait, what about Primetime?"


It turned out the blue circles were portals. Primetime had pulled Casey along until they hit an opening in the container maze, where he used the extra space to conjure a full-sized portal. The portal led to a very white bathroom. Well, almost very white. There was some type of color explosion that happened over one of the sinks. But other than that, everything else was a bright white color. Primetime had briefly left before returning with plastic chair, also white, loud noises carried through the door as it opened and closed.

Primetime pushed Casey into the chair before he started unstrapping Casey's gear. Casey tried to do it himself, but Primetime wouldn't let him. So there Casey sat, staring at his red faced reflection in the mirror as the very not unattractive Evil-Leonardo basically undressed him. It was both heaven and hell at the same time. Casey felt like he was in one of those badly written fanfictions he caught his sister reading.

Well at least it couldn't get any worse, could it?

The answer to that question was yes, yes it could.

The door opened again and in came Evil-Donnie. He had gotten changed, now in an oversized purple sweatshirt. It was the opposite of his battle garb, which screamed 'dangerous'. This look gave him a much more 'soft' appearance. He was carrying a water bottle and two ice packs. He walked past the line of stalls before handing the ice packs to Primetime and resting his back against the sink counter. Casey tried very hard not to look at his legs, which were now free from the black wraps and had only purple socks and large knee pads covering them.

"I was going to say you're overreacting again but now that I see him, you might be right. I don't think humans are supposed to turn that shade of red."

"Did you find the thermometer? I don't think he has a fever but I would rather be sure." Primetime began tugging on Casey's outer sweatshirt.

"No. I think Junior might know where it is but he fell asleep and Raph won't let me wake him up."

"That's okay, we'll just put the ice packs on him anyways."

Primetime had succeeded in removing both of Casey's sweatshirts, leaving him in a t-shirt. Primetime moved to the paper towel dispenser and wrapped the ice packs with towels before returning. He placed one on the back of Casey's neck, and Casey hissed from the cold. He placed the other one on the counter beside Donatello and tossed Casey the water bottle.

"Drink that."

Casey quickly busied himself with looking at the bottle instead of either of the half-naked turtles in front of him. Casey saw Primetime remove what remained of his shirt from the corner of his eye and chuck it into the trashcan.

"Oh my gosh, no. Leo no. Don't even think about it."

Casey looked up to see Primetime facing Donatello with a smug smirk. He then turned it to Casey. Casey's heartrate seemed to have picked up.

"Hey, Number Three," he held the other ice pack up and pointed at it with his free hand, "n-ice to meet you."

Casey cringed. Donatello groaned before walking back towards the door.

"Huh? Huh? Come on, that was funny!"


After several minutes of confusion Doctor Disappointed untied himself and pulled out a cellphone.

"Hey Donnie, what's going on? S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. blew the final horn but we can't find Leo anywhere… oh okay." Doctor Disappointed turned to them, "Donnie's gonna make an announcement?"

The speakers turned on, "SORRY ABOUT THAT EVERYONE. PRIMETIME HAD TO MEDICALLY PULL CASEY FROM THE FIGHT-"

"What?!"

"Is he okay?!"

"What happened?!"

"-NO NEED TO PANIC, IT APPEARS CASEY IS GOING TO BE FINE. AS PRIMETIME IS OUR ONLY MEDIC, WE'VE CONSIDERED HIM MEDICALLY TAPPED AS WELL. LEAVING DOCTOR DISAPPOINTED AS THE ONLY MEMBER OF HIS TEAM. AS DOCTOR DISAPPOINTED HAD BEEN INCAPACITATED, THE ROUND WAS CALLED."

"What now?"

"Is Casey coming back?"

"I CAN SEE YOU ALL TALKING BUT I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU I CANNOT HEAR YOU. HUMANS WILL BE ARRIVING FOR WORK SOON, SO I SUGGEST DOCTOR DISAPPOINTED BEGINS TAKING YOU TO THE NEXT LOCATION. LEO WANTS TO EVALUATE CASEY AGAIN IN THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE MAKING A DECISION. YOU CAN WAIT THERE UNTIL THEN."

Doctor Disappointed threw his hands up and opened his own portal, this time a golden yellow color, and gestured at it. Leo jumped in first and Donnie followed.

This portal ride was much smoother than the one they took to get to this universe.