Hehehehe. Ohoho. oh, you thought. you wished that I was done. but i am unkillable. i am the king. i can type a word as well as the next guy or fella. and here are some


Isabelle was dead, and a part of me had died with her.

Mainly the horny part.

Some amount of time had passed, I cannot say how much. I awoke one day to the sound of my own mournful farts (I didn't need an alarm clock because I farted every hour on the hour, so hard and with such fearful tremors that I had 64-87 haemorrhoids (varying), which were nice and I liked to feel and touch them and bend over and look at them in the mirror and smile at them and)

I've gotten off track. I woke up. I slithered out of bed, like the worms. You know them. THOSE worms. :)

I slithered; how I slithered! I slimed! I sloamed! I slemned! I slugged!! All things which had once brought me such boundless joy. But I could not summon it, and not a drip of the good juice would be forced out of my sad little willy.

None of the masculine nor feminine emotions which had once wracked my nasty, hot, sexy, young, fat, old, wild, carnivorous, phlegmy form were lurking even in the furthest corners of my juicy little brainmind.

I examined myself in the mirror. "Pewww!! Stinky stench!!! Wowowowow ass boy!" I screamed, as I did every morning. Prior to the horrors, these self-affirmations had never failed to buck me up. I massaged kittycat grease on my forehead, the better to open my fourth eye. I stood on my hands by an open window and allowed the cool morning breeze to tickle my taint. I mashed 7 apples to a fine pulp and blew bubbles into them like a lazy old seal.

Not a fucking tingle passed up my little meat stick. I sank to the floor in desolation.

"Howwww," I groaned, like a rumbly tummy. "Whyyyyyyyy." My buttcheeks slapped together wetly, singing my misery. I moaned there for hours, gnashing my tiny weird teeth on the floor of my homehouse, slavering thoughtfully.

It surely couldn't be that I had actually LIKED Isabelle? Sure, she was extremely fuckable, and I liked to stomp up and down on her and feel her fur between my toes, but I had never felt the absence of anyone like this. I had never…NEEDED….a human person…a dog-man….a poodle….whatever the fuck she is don't tell me i don't care

Something needed to change. Or perhaps it already had.

I decided that I had to go to the outside lands. Of my house. I was going to go outside

and

get

a

haircut

.

"This will bring back my pizzazz," I thought to myself, yelling slurs at the front door until it swung open sadly.

I stepped outside. And WOWIE!!!!

IT WAS ALL DIFFERENT

THE GRAPHICS WERE BETTER

THE LANDSCAPE WAS EDITABLE

I SWIM IN A SEA CATCH A LOBSTER

EAT A PEAR AND GET REEEEAL FUCKIN STRONG

IT

WAS

NEW HORIZONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :( ;)

"Oh," I said to a passing goat, he was blue and he was Sherb and I love him, "Am I still like the mayor or whatever?"

"Shut up, this is too metatextual," he replied. I slupped my lips shut so they made a little naughty x on my face. Teehee.

"I NEED A HAIRCUT," I screamed in his bloo face. He jumped and did a little goat poo on the floor and cried. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him roughly, but also slowly, so we were swaying together, a sweet dance with a sweet lad.

"WHERE HAIRCUTTY," I mumbazzled to him. He pointed, shivering, to a pier I had never noticed. There was a real nasty fucking ugly big beak bird there. Ohohoho. A real big beak boy. I ran over so quickly that I was there.

"Assfuck to quiversnit, this is cunty munty," he said into his microphone thing. "I am twenty qualms down in the gorge and expect me back for suppertime."

I leaned in and kissed him gently on his bitch beak. "That is not words," I explained gently, except I was HITTING and STABBING him. I was PUSHING him INTO the OCEAN

"No, wait, idiot," I called out to him as he sank into the depths, writhing and bleeding, "Where can I get a haircut?"

His beakmouth creaked open. "You must go…" he said. I leaned in closer so the water was in my ears and said "hmmm????"

"You must go," he bubbled weakly "to Harv's island."

I rose up on the deck. The sun shone, watery and feeble, but it shone nonetheless. I put my arms on my hips and puffed out my chest. I felt strong. I felt limber. I felt………..

Like hijacking a plane and doing terrorism.

I entered the airport.

There was another one behind the counter. Ewwww. I strolloped over and slammed my palms face down on the table.

"Which hand?" I asked bird 2. He considered with much consideration, which was considerate.

"That one," he said, failing to particularly indicate either hand. It didn't matter because I raised them both and smacked them to the sides of his head almost lovingly, except with a tempered force that, if ever unrestrained, could tear the sun in half.

Whupaaa!

"You will take me to the haircut man or I will do terrorism," I demanded. Firm but fair.

"Well hey, that's already terrorism, kind of," he said. EWWW. He had forehead wrinkles!!!!

"No, this is terrorism," I said and I shit him. I don't mean I shot him, I mean I gulped him down and made my tummy all big and fat :3c and then I shit him. Out into his stupid swivel chair. He looked the same but a bit browner and peely from my stomach acids. Tummy hurt.

"I need the man to cut my hairs!" I roared. "Don't make me grind you up! I have such rage and fury within me! No dithering!"

"Okaaaay," he said, and God, I just cannot respect a guy like that. He ushered me out the back to a plane that was in the water. What a thing!

"Why is it like that?" I asked. "It's all wet underneath."

"It's a seaplane-" he began, but I was already crying and pissing. Oh, mercy. Oh, mercy me. What will they think of next? Put wheels on the dang thing? A carseaplane? Put a horse on the front? A carriagecarseaplane? Some other thing? Huh?? You got an answer for me? Didn't fucking think so.

We hopped on on as my piss sprayed wildly everywhere, with such force that my dick thrashed and seized within my beige pants, like a king cobra in the sand. Bird 2 looked distastefully at it, which was more than I could bear.

"I used to be a specimen, and all quaked to behold my pink mast," I sobbed snittingfully, "and now look at me. A dropped fireman's hose. A broken sprinkler system."

The plane streaked out over the glittering water, and rose, and I wept.


Thank you for reading. i apologise for the brief delay. i fell over and everyone in my town filed past me in succession to laugh at me and I had to lie there til everyone had a go

Leavy reviewy if you know the secret smells…………..