Author's Notes
This chapter will be Lily- and Severus-POV exclusive (with two POV exceptions).
WARNING: The following chapter is very... very long, and I apologize. I promise that I will never write a chapter this long ever again, for your sanity and mine. You may be wondering why it's this long, and why I didn't split this into five separate chapters, and to that I say, "Each chapter will be as long as it needs to be."
Side-note, if there's any parts in this chapter that aren't the proper format (italics or bolded lettering), let me know; for some reason, it keeps getting reset.
Chapter 4: The Longest Week
Severus I
Monday, 6 September 1976
Severus awoke as the memory of the summer of '76 ebbed into his mind. He Occluded, but not before he remembered the feel of alcohol-rancid breath against- He shut his eyes, controlling his breathing, allowing his mind to go blank. The memories faded away, leaving him at ease.
Severus got out of bed and walked over to his desk, where he checked today's schedule: Defense, Alchemy, Potions. He knew Lily would be taking one of those classes, but he hoped she would be in Defense.
Should be simple.
Alchemy is many things; I would hesitate in saying simple is one of them.
You know what I mean. Better than Fridays, at least.
Fridays have less written work.
Fridays have Divination and ladders.
Fair enough. Regarding Potions, how do you plan on brewing?
I don't know. I'll have to pay more attention to my timing.
The slightest miscalculation-
- can have dire consequences, I know. Maybe, my partner this term will be somewhat- Severus stopped.
What is it?
Maybe Lily would partner with me?
… perhaps, you should be prepared for a less-ideal outcome?
I'm going to try today.
You told her we would be focusing on our work and schedule.
Yes, but if we happen to be in the same class as her….
I see. Well, if you fail, nothing is lost.
There was a knock on the door. Severus walked over, steadying himself, and he opened to find Regulus Black.
"Good morning, Snape."
"Morning, Black," Severus said.
"I realize that you most likely wish to remain in your room for your meals."
"For now, at least."
"In that case, all I can say is… congratulations."
Severus had a bad feeling about whatever the younger Black was about to say. "... what?"
"You were chosen as this year's Heir. I meant to tell you yesterday, but my father had been hospitalized, so I thought I should check on his well-being."
Severus stood in place, silent, for what seemed like an eternity. "How?"
"How did you win? You convinced the Headmaster to keep you at school over the summer, which alone is unprecedented. And becoming the ward of Albus Dumbledore is quite significant as far as social connections go. Regardless of his politics, of course."
"Of course."
"As for the Heiress, Rosier was dead-set on Wilkes, but Talkalot seemed to pull through in the end. Apparently, she has connections with the British branch of the ICWQC."
"I don't-"
"International Confederation of Wizards Quidditch Committee. It was a surprise to everyone present." Black paused before saying, "In any event, congratulations. You surely have work to do."
Severus nodded. "I'll see you around."
Black nodded and left as Severus shut the door.
… do you think Lily knows?
Possible. Perhaps, if you explain-
As if she'd listen to me. You know her.
… I do. What I mean to say is this: if you tell her why you were selected, she may realize that your nomination was out of your control….
You don't sound convinced. Severus didn't know how to approach this situation. He hoped Lily had signed up for Defense classes, just so he could get the explanation over with. Shower, breakfast, revision, class.
Severus fulfilled his mental list before grabbing his supplies and opening the door. His coordination was better than yesterday, but not by much- Severus stopped.
What is it?
It's-
- a feeling. Yes, you tend to feel things…. What is this feeling about, specifically?
I don't know. It's…. I don't know how to explain…. Something's telling not to… no, that's not right.
Explain.
Well, it's not that I shouldn't go to class. It's more along the lines of… I guess I'm sensing a threat.
We can walk and talk.
Fine. It's almost- Severus never finished his sentence, as he felt his feet suddenly slip out from under him. His head and back crashed against the hard stone floor, his supplies flying everywhere. Ink splattered the ground, as well as his clothes, and parchment and books scattered around. He laid there, stunned by the sudden trauma to the back of his head, and he struggled to move. If Professor Snape was talking, Severus couldn't register it.
Severus wasn't sure how long he was on the ground, but he heard footsteps approaching, followed by a gasp. "Sev!"
Severus's eyes suddenly widened as Lily was kneeling by him, a look of worry on her face. "... Lily?"
"Are you alright?"
"Slipped a bit," Severus said. He couldn't sit up. "You called me Sev."
"... what?"
"You called me Sev."
"No, I said 'Severus'."
"But… but I heard-"
"You might have a concussion-"
"I'm fine," Severus said, forcing himself up with every fiber of strength in his body. "Why are you here?"
"Class started an hour ago," Lily said. "You need to go to the Hospital Wing."
Severus noticed she was holding his arm. She was touching him…. "I… my notes-"
"I'll talk to the professor," Lily replied. "Let me clean this up for you."
"Snarky?"
Pop. "Yes, sir?"
"Who is this?!" Lily had almost jumped back in surprise.
"Right," Severus said. "Lily, Snarky. Snarky, Lily."
"Does Severus Snape require assistance?"
"Cleaning up," Severus said.
Snarky moved his hand, and the ink crawled away from where it had splattered and back into the inkwell. The parchment and books formed a neat pile beside Severus. "Anything else, sir?"
"Belongings in room."
"Certainly." Snarky did as he was told before eyeing Lily. "Hmm…."
Lily stared back. "What is it?"
Snarky sneered. "Gryffindor…. Snarky will return to his duties." Pop.
Severus was about to stand up, but Lily caught him before he could fall back down. "Severus, are you eating anything?!"
"Nausea," Severus said, the sudden ascent making him light-headed. "Too much… is bad."
"Don't make excuses." Lily's voice was stern. "You can't starve yourself like this."
"I…." Severus was about to say he was heavier than last year, but that would only make her more concerned. "Lily…."
"Yeah?"
"I… I can't miss class-"
"It's one class, you can afford it."
Severus let Lily help him walk forward, glancing back at his door as they went.
Someone sabotaged us.
What?
There was a solution on the ground, designed to be sheenless and therefore undetectable.
I don't feel wet.
You wouldn't feel wet if it wasn't meant to be absorbed.
If it's undetectable, then how did you detect it?
Because I was a Potions Master for two decades. My job is to notice these sorts of things.
Severus was about to respond, before he felt himself stumble forward a bit. Lily quickly moved in front of him, catching him before he could completely lose balance.
"Careful," Lily said. Her voice wasn't soft or soothing, but… it almost sounded as if she cared. They continued walking.
"I…. I'm the Heir."
Lily didn't stop walking, but she asked, "What do you mean?"
"Prince of Slytherin. Heir of Slytherin."
"... oh."
"I… I didn't mean for it-"
"How did you win?"
"My connections. Dumbledore."
"I see." Lily was silent for a brief moment. "I'm the Princess of Gryffindor."
"Huh."
"What?"
"We both won a pointless contest."
"Well… I had fun. What about you?"
"Didn't go. They decided without me."
"Some friends they are."
Severus didn't respond. Lily wouldn't have known that the people in Slytherin were never his friends… well, they were, but not in the same way Lily was. In Slytherin, friendship was a means of convenience, a way for people to get ahead in life. Connections, opportunities, investments, all of these things were part of the social web Slytherin had developed in Britain.
"Who's the Heiress?"
"Hmm?"
"You're the Heir; who's the Heiress?"
"Talkalot."
"Oh. Bit of a coincidence."
"What?"
"James is the Prince."
Severus cringed. "... James?" He remembered Professor Snape's seventh year, how Lily had willingly started dating Potter. It was bound to happen; both of them had harbored hatred against Severus. Part of him thought Lily accepted Potter's advances out of spite, but he couldn't imagine she would continue dating him if she knew about his continued torment of her former friend. At least, he hoped that was the case. If she had known about the bullying….
"Yes, we're on a first name basis. Don't tell me you still have that petty rivalry going on."
Severus was sure he would've shot back at her if he was in his right mind, but considering how fuzzy his head felt, he couldn't be bothered.
"I thought you two made up."
"Yes," Severus replied, forcing clarity into his mind. "We made up, in front of his friends, family, his friends' family, and the Headmaster."
"What's that supposed to mean, exactly?"
"What other choice do you think I had?"
Lily was noticeably quiet, before she said, "Let's not argue about this right now."
"Alright."
They walked in silence, with Lily supporting Severus. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, and yet this was different. Before, Severus had resented being helped in this way. He hated feeling weak; by all accounts, he should've been upset that he was being helped again, that he was weak again. But the longer they walked together, the more Severus realized he'd been ungrateful to Lily. Once upon a time, she actually cared about him.
Before Severus knew it, they had arrived at the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was busy tidying up her workstation when she turned and spotted them. "Mr. Snape, Miss Evans! Come in, come in! What seems to be the problem?"
"Severus might have a concussion. I found him lying on the floor outside his room."
"Goodness, come here, dear." Madam Pomfrey led Severus by the arm and set him down on the bed. She waved her wand around the back of his head. "Oh dear, yes. He'll need to spend a few hours here while I patch him up."
"My classes-"
"You'll be fine in a few hours, Mr. Snape," Madam Pomfrey said. "But I need to treat you and make sure you can manage on your own."
"I should leave," Lily said, turning to go.
"Yes, very well," Madam Pomfrey said, almost ignoring Lily.
"Lily," Severus blurted out.
Lily looked back. "Yes?"
"Thank you for helping me." For helping me throughout the years.
Lily was completely still, before she replied, "You're welcome." She turned and left.
Severus laid down on the bed, the pain in his head seemingly vanishing. He could almost smile.
Lily I
Lily turned and left the Hospital Wing. A few thoughts ran through her head as she thought about what had happened.
"You called me Sev."
Lily felt herself tear up, but she blinked them away before they could escape. There Severus was, lying on the floor, concussed, and one of the first things he focused on was what she had called him. Had she said 'Sev'? She was sure she hadn't, but she hadn't been paying attention on account of seeing her best-
Lily stopped. No, Severus wasn't her best friend. Not anymore. They were barely acquaintances…. If Severus was in his right mind, he would've pushed her away as he tried to stand up by himself. But even outside of the head injury… was Severus in his right mind? On the day of the Ancient Runes O.W.L., he'd acted strangely as well… even after that point, up until he'd disappeared before the final week… he'd disappeared before the final week….
The thoughts didn't go away, even after Lily had returned to Defense class, but she did her best to focus on what was being said and written. Based on the number of times she was being nudged, she knew Marlene was trying to get her attention, but she wasn't in the mood. She just wanted to take good notes and bring them to Sev…erus.
After class was dismissed, Lily quickly packed her things. As she was about to leave, Marlene stopped her. "What's wrong?"
"I need to bring this to the infirmary," Lily quickly said.
"Lily, what happened? Who's in the infirmary?"
"Severus."
Marlene gave Lily an infuriatingly annoyed look. "Lily-"
"Don't you dare say anything about it," Lily hissed. "I found him lying concussed outside his room!"
"Wait, what?" Remus had joined the conversation, and he was followed by Pott- James and Black. "How did that happen?"
"I don't know, but he must've hit his head too hard. He could barely move properly, so I had to help him to Madam Pomfrey."
"Wait, you mentioned Snape has his own room," Marlene said. "How did-"
"He's been sick all summer, so the Headmaster had him separated from the rest of Slytherin." Lily moved past Marlene and made her way out of the classroom, but she heard them follow behind.
"Maybe Snape needs some time to rest," Pott- James said.
"No, I promised I'd bring notes for him."
"How the hell is he gonna study if he's concussed?" Black asked. "I say you let him rest."
"Remus?" Marlene asked.
Remus was quiet for a moment before he answered. "I don't think there's anything wrong with checking in on him, but he should rest if he needs it."
"Let's at least get lunch," Marlene said.
"I'll meet you there," Lily replied, leaving them behind.
She found herself outside the Hospital Wing, peeking in to see if she could come in. Madam Pomfrey spotted her and waved for her to come closer.
"Miss Evans," Madam Pomfrey said softly. "Mr. Snape's injury seems to be healing up. He should be well-enough to resume classes before lunch ends. However, he'll need help with walking; his motor skills are poor."
Lily nodded. "Madam Pomfrey, could you tell me what's wrong with him?"
"In what way?"
"Well, just in general."
"I'm afraid not."
"Why not?" First, Dumbledore was hiding the truth, and now Madam Pomfrey!
"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what his condition is. Even the people at St. Mungo's wouldn't know. And even if I did know, Dumbledore would give me explicit instructions not to tell anyone."
Lily held back the building frustration. "Can I at least see him?"
"Certainly."
Madam Pomfrey led Lily to Severus's usual bed, the curtains having been drawn. Lily pulled them back to find Severus eating a bowl of porridge. Severus looked up, spoon still in his mouth. He pulled it out, swallowing before he spoke.
"Is class already over?"
Lily nodded. "I have the notes."
"Oh. Thank you." Severus set the bowl aside, but Madam Pomfrey stopped him from taking what Lily was holding out to him.
"Mr. Snape, finish your porridge. You're not eating properly. You can have Miss Evans's notes once you-"
Before Madam Pomfrey could finish her sentence, Severus shoveled the hot porridge down his throat, almost inhaling it. "Done," he gasped, carefully wiping his mouth with the napkin on the side table. He quickly tried to snatch the notes from Lily, but he suddenly appeared sluggish.
"Oh dear, you're moving around too quickly." Madam Pomfrey took Severus by the arm and had him lay back down. "You'll need to rest a bit. When's your next class?"
"Third period."
Lily was confused. Sixth-years didn't have a third period on Mondays. "What class are you taking?"
"... Alchemy."
Lily's eyes widened. Alchem- "Alchemy?!"
"Hmm," Madam Pomfrey said. "I'm afraid you'll need to rest for a bit longer. You'll be in no state to study-"
"Wait, I'm feeling better," Severus said quickly.
"Which one of us is the mediwitch?"
"... you are."
"So, as of right now, Alchemy will have to wait…. who's teaching the class?"
Severus shrugged. "It's in the Headmaster's Office."
"I see. Miss Evans, if you would be so kind as to keep an eye on Mr. Snape for a moment?"
"Of course." Lily waited for Madam Pomfrey to leave before she turned and sat down by Severus's side. "Alchemy?!"
Severus nodded. "It's the next step beyond Potions and Transfiguration."
"So today, you have Defense, Alchemy, and Potions?"
Severus nodded again. "It's… there's a lot of essays."
Lily couldn't stop herself from sighing with frustration. "We're never going to have that talk, are we-"
"No no, wait." Severus suddenly grabbed her hand, and Lily fought the urge to pull away. "No, I want- I want to talk. But I can't."
"No, I get it." Lily hadn't meant it to sound dismissive, but from the look on Severus's face, it seemed she had. "I have the feeling we'll both be busy this year."
"We have Potions," Severus said. "Maybe…."
"Yeah?"
"Maybe we could partner up?"
"Severus…."
"I know there's not much room for conversation," Severus continued. "But at least we'd be spending time with each other again."
Lily felt her heart ache, but she couldn't let it affect her. "Spending time with each other doesn't mean we're friends-"
"I know," Severus interrupted. "I know that. Once we have time, and once we can finally meet up and have a long conversation about… well, you know…." He trailed off, but he quickly said, "I want, more than anything, to make things right. The first step is distancing myself from Mulciber, which I've been doing. I know it might take a long time, but I'm committing to it."
Lily didn't respond, simply because she didn't know how. Marlene had warned her that Severus would try to weasel his way back into her life, but… no, there was no way he would intentionally give himself a concussion just to spend time with her. He had no way of knowing she would come check on him had he not shown up to class… right?
"Also," Severus continued, "you're the only one I can trust to brew a decent potion."
"Only decent?" Lily raised an eyebrow.
"Not- I mean good potion- great potion!" Severus stammered. His eyes almost darted away, but it seemed he chose to maintain eye contact.
Lily realized she was squeezing his hand, and she quickly pulled away. Seeing that familiar vacant look on his face, she said, "We'll see. I'm not opposed to it."
As the words left Lily's mouth, the look vanished, and a crooked smile appeared on Severus's. Sev's smile. "Okay."
Madam Pomfrey returned, this time with the Headmaster. Dumbledore sat on Severus's other side and had him sit forward a bit as he looked at the back of his head. "How are you feeling, my boy?"
Lily saw Severus stiffen a bit, but the latter replied, "I'm fine, sir."
"It would perhaps be wise to not attend Alchemy-"
"I'm fine," Severus said, his voice growing hard. "I can still take notes."
"If Madam Pomfrey would permit me to give the lesson in the Hospital Wing-?"
"Wait, you're teaching me?!" Lily almost cringed when Severus interrupted the Headmaster.
"Of course. Why else would I have the lessons in my office?"
Severus didn't immediately respond, but he looked as though the gears were turning in his head. "I see…."
"As long as he doesn't overexert himself," Madam Pomfrey said, "you may teach him here, just so he can remain under observation."
"I'll be sure he stays rested," Dumbledore said, smiling at Madam Pomfrey. He turned to Lily and said, "Thank you for tending to Severus in his time of need, Miss Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor."
"I-I was just doing my job, sir," Lily replied.
"I meant after your Defense lessons were over. You had no obligations to the school when you copied notes for him."
"How did you-"
"That's your handwriting," Dumbledore replied, pointing to the notes currently on the side table. "I assumed you brought them for him, as he was unable to attend class today."
"Well, that's true."
"In which case, you deserve those points. Now then, perhaps Severus and I should begin early?"
"Of course," Lily said, standing from where she was sitting. "I'll see you in Potions?"
Severus nodded. "Have a good lunch."
Lily nodded and turned, leaving Severus with the Headmaster and Madam Pomfrey. With each step, she realized this was one of the first… 'pleasant' conversations she'd had with him since their friendship ended. As brief as it had been, he wasn't Snape or Severus. He was Sev.
Severus II
After Lily had left, Severus and Dumbledore began looking over the course material. While the Headmaster was no Nicolas Flamel, he was quite learned in the field, enough to teach Severus the basics of alchemy. Today's lesson was on the four classical elements, omitting the 'fifth element' due to its nature, for the purpose of reviewing the marriage between the material and symbolic worlds.
While Severus wasn't disinterested in the lesson, the conversation he'd just had with Lily bothered him. He'd tried to improve their relationship while he was bedridden, something that hadn't occurred to him after the fact, and he couldn't help but feel he'd used it to his own advantage. However….
"Sev!"
She'd called him 'Sev'. After he'd called her a mudblood and she'd called him Snivellus, she'd called him 'Sev' again. And of all the times to do so, it had to be when he was concussed. She'd said it out of pity… but she'd said it… but she denied saying it….
After the lesson had ended, Severus took some time to digest what he'd learned. With Madam Pomfrey's permission, he left the Hospital Wing and started walking down the corridor. He had enough time to gather his supplies before class started, so the walk didn't bother him too much… until he felt light-headed when turning the last corner.
Steadying himself against the wall, Severus made it to the door, opening and shutting it, as he then gathered his supplies, including his cauldron. He took hold of it and lifted, only for it to slip through his fingers and drop back down on the ground. He panicked and inspected it for any damage, but was relieved to find nothing had happened.
Carry it from the bottom.
I know. Severus scooped the bottom of the cauldron, so that it rested on his palms. Did she say 'Severus' or 'Sev'?
I heard 'Sev', but it is possible that, considering I am limited by your senses, that the concussion affected me as well.
You have a perfect memory.
Yes, I remember perfectly what I experienced. I'm not the bloody Pensieve.
Right…. Do you think she said it out of pity?
Yes.
… well, that makes me feel better about myself….
If you don't want me to answer your questions, don't ask me.
I just need to know if you think-
- if I think your behavior in the Hospital Wing influenced her view of us. It did.
Severus felt a bitterness rise up from within him. So, she's sitting next to me out of pity….
Most likely.
As Severus opened the door and left the room, he checked the ground to make sure nothing was there to trip him up.
You're safe.
Yeah. Severus continued, using the weight of the cauldron and supplies to balance himself as he walked. Whenever his fingers slipped, he leaned up against the wall, using his knee to help prop up the cauldron as he readjusted his grip. He'd always joked with Lily about how she had to lug her cauldron from the seventh floor to the Dungeons, and she would playfully smack him… but that was a different time. A time when she neither hated him nor pitied him….
And it all boiled down to pity. Pity, in Severus's mind, was what separated the weak from the strong, and he hated weakness. If Lily pitied him, then it meant she saw him as weaker… lesser… lesser than Potter…. If he showed any more weakness, she would pity him more, think less of him, just like everyone else had, or currently still did. And if she thought more of Potter than him, as had happened in Professor Snape's life, then she would choose him again, and his life would be unbearable. It was enough to know what had once happened, but worse to have two lives with the same outcome. He knew Lily could only tolerate so much….
"Severus, what the hell are you doing?!"
Severus almost dropped his cauldron from the sudden voice, but he managed to slam into the wall to brace himself as Lily came rushing behind him. He had barely regained his grip when Lily stopped right in front of him, carrying her own supplies. He said, "What-"
"Are you even allowed to do any heavy-lifting?"
Heavy? "This isn't heavy-"
"Oh of course, it's clearly not heavy, on account of you struggling to hold a pewter cauldron with books, parchment, and an inkwell inside."
"Just how weak do you think I am?!" Severus hadn't realized he had hissed it at her until he saw her reaction; she'd taken a small step back, and there was a flash of something in her eyes.
"I can't believe you," Lily replied, her brow furrowing. "One minute, you're thanking me for helping you, and the next, you don't want my help?"
"I don't need help carrying a-." Severus stopped himself, biting his tongue to avoid making things worse. "Let's go to class; I can carry this. You should worry about your own things."
"Fine." Lily's response was almost cold, but there was something in her eye that sent a shiver down Severus's spine. He wasn't sure if he could put words to it, but it looked as though she… felt something. Oh wait… pity….
"I'm…." Severus paused. "I'm not saying this to push you away. It's not fair for me to expect you to carry both our supplies."
"I could use magic-"
"The point stands," Severus cut in, readjusting his grip before leaning away from the wall.
The two of them walked down the corridor and through the castle in silence, and Severus looked briefly at Lily. Her eyes had that look when she was angry about something (which was common, considering she was Lily Evans), but it wasn't an explosive anger; this was subdued, nearly cold. Much like when she'd refused to forgive him for calling her….
Before Severus knew it, they were both outside Slughorn's classroom. Lily opened the door for him, and Severus reluctantly nodded in gratitude before setting his belongings down at one of the workstations near the back. He surveyed the other students and immediately spotted McKinnon and Creevey talking.
Creevey… of course….
Colin and-
Dennis Creevey. I thought it a coincidence that they would share the same surname, but now I see it.
They were Muggle-born.
Correct.
But how-
One theory is that Muggle-borns descend from Squibs, so it's possible that, while magic ignored Adrian's brother, it presented itself to Colin and Dennis.
Do you believe that?
It's a theory; I treat it with as much skepticism as any- fucking Potter.
Severus glanced to the table next to McKinnon and Creevey and spotted Pettigrew and fucking Potter. Potter turned his head at the sound of Lily setting her supplies beside Severus- which caught Severus off-guard -and said, "Alright, Lily?"
"I'm fine," Lily replied… with a smile.
Severus's blood ran cold. She smiled. She fucking smiled. At Potter. Severus turned his attention to his cauldron, trying to find any grooves or indentations to take his mind off of this development. If he acted out, Lily would reject him, probably sit next to McKinnon while he had to sit next to Creevey. Not that Creevey was the worst option, although he was a bit annoying with that bloody camera of his.
"And you, Snape?"
Severus's eyes shot up at the sound of Saint Potter's voice. Biting back the heat building up, he gritted out, "Splendid."
As Potter turned back to face the front, Lily nudged Severus and said, "Don't start anything."
Typical. Siding with Potter again. "I won't if he doesn't."
"Good." Lily began sorting out her belongings, moving her cauldron as she began flipping through her textbook.
Severus took his textbook out of his cauldron and opened it. In another life, it had been marred with his own notes, a way for him to block out the loss of his only friend. But as he opened it now, he wasn't surprised when he found it-
-covered in his scrawlings.
Severus Occluded his shock to the best of his ability. What….
How is this possible?
Did you- no, you can't control my body. How?
I have no idea….
I must be going mad. Severus thought of an idea. He turned to Lily, opening the book to the Draught of Living Death. "When do you think we'll be making this one?"
Lily looked it over. "Ugh, that looks horrendous. Living Death?"
No comment on the notes.
So, it's in our mind, then?
Seems like it. "Doesn't look that bad," Severus continued.
"Of course, you'd say that."
Saying nothing, Severus turned back to his cauldron. Of course, he'd say that. Dark Arts-loving Severus Snape would love the Draught of Living Death. To be honest, he didn't really see the point of it… maybe for an induced coma until an antidote was administered? It could be fairly useful for patients suffering from prolonged pain or illness. Perhaps, sedating them would be a kindness until they recovered… then again, the amount of time in which they were sedated might be a shock to them. Severus could only imagine someone being revived after a few years to find drastic changes to their life. Perhaps intermittent sedation, then? A week-long sedation, then reviving the patient to allow them to acclimatize to their surroundings, and, if necessary, putting them back under? This was something to consider at a later time. Maybe, in his free time, he could write something and send it to St. Mungo's? If he could get published-
Severus's train of thought was interrupted by Slughorn entering the classroom, boisterous as ever. "Good afternoon, class!"
"Good afternoon, Professor Slughorn," the students, excluding, parroted back.
"Welcome to Advanced Potions. Now as this is the first class, we'll be relatively lax. Let us begin with the observation of a selection of potions I've prepared." Slughorn flourished his wand, and a few cauldrons set themselves down on the front table. "Come, come!"
Everyone stood and approached the desk, with Severus taking his time. Lily was already at the front, eager to see what was inside.
"Now," Slughorn asked, "can anyone tell me what this one is?"
Veritaserum.
"Veritaserum," Lily chimed. "Colorless, tasteless, odorless, and forces the drinker to tell the truth. Three drops of this, and You-Know-Who would spill his bathroom habits."
The class erupted in laughter, and Severus fought back a smile.
"Very good, Miss Evans," Slughorn beamed. "And what about this one?"
Polyjuice Potion.
"Polyjuice Potion," Lily answered quickly.
"Excellent! And this?"
Amortentia.
"Amortentia, sir," Lily replied. "You can tell by its mother-of-pearl sheen and the steam rising in those spirals there." She pointed to the spiraling steam. "Its scent is unique for each person based on what attracts us. For example: I smell the river, willow trees, parchment, and-" Lily suddenly stopped.
"No need to divulge all your secrets," Slughorn said playfully. "And for your answers, thirty points to Gryffindor."
"Nice one, Lily!" Potter said, smirking.
Fucking tosspot.
Lily turned to return his smile, and Severus could see she was blushing. He looked away, controlling his breathing.
"Now, just a bit of forewarning," Slughorn continued. "Amortentia does not produce real love, but only a strong infatuation not easily undone. By the end of your sixth-year, you will be able to brew all four of these potions."
"Four, sir?" Creevey asked.
"Ah, I forgot the fourth one." Slughorn flicked his wand, and a fourth cauldron joined its brethren. "Can anyone identify this?"
Felix Felicis.
"Felix Felicis," Lily answered. "It's known for its characteristically golden color and its ability to bestow luck on its drinker. When taken in larger doses, it can induce reckless overconfidence. So basically, it turns the drinker into a Gryffindor."
Severus couldn't hold back the laugh that erupted from his mouth. All heads turned to him, with Slughorn casting him an indiscernible look. "Sorry," Severus said. "It was funny."
"Of course, that's the one you laugh at," McKinnon muttered, turning away.
"And it's also toxic when ingested in larger quantities," Slughorn finished with a smile. "Ten points to the recklessly overconfident Gryffindor."
The rest of the class chuckled at his comment. Bloody-
"Now then," Slughorn continued. "Today, we will be seeing who can brew the best Draught of Living Death. The winner of this little competition will be winning this." Slughorn produced a vial of the golden Felix Felicis. "You will have one hour to complete your potion. Starting now!"
All but Severus rushed to their cauldrons and began frantically flipping through their textbooks. Severus sat down and looked at the already-open book before him before looking at the list of ingredients, which some of the students were beginning to collect at the side table.
Severus stood and walked over, grabbing his own ingredients. As he reached for the powdered root of asphodel, Lily's hand touched his. The two of them froze as Lily quickly pulled her hand back.
"Sorry," Lily said quietly.
"It's fine," Severus said, grabbing the asphodel as he took his ingredients back to his cauldron. It took almost all his coordination to set the ingredients down without spilling anything, and he began looking through the instructions.
Ignore those and follow me.
What-
I remember the recipe.
Right. Severus looked away, glancing occasionally at the scrawled-over textbook. Maybe this time, he could win the bottle of Felix Felicis instead of Lily, as had happened originally. Severus had brewed an equally-good batch, but Slughorn had chosen Lily due to favoritism. Not that Severus resented Lily for it, at least not this time around, but he wanted to prove that he was capable.
Severus began by filling the cauldron with wat…. Bugger, he had to use a wand. Severus took out his wand carefully, tapping the cauldron as he said, "Aguamenti."
The cauldron began filling with water, but it only reached about a fifth of the way up. Severus held back a grumble as he tried again. This time, it was too much, as the water began rising and rising and rising and-
"Finite!" Severus quickly said. The water halted, but a few drops spilled out of the cauldron onto the textbook. He hissed under his breath, "Fuck!"
"Language, Mr. Snape," Slughorn said, somehow behind Severus during this first stage of brewing. "That will be five points from Slytherin."
As Slughorn walked away, Severus turned back to his cauldron to find the water level had been corrected to its proper amount. He glanced to his side to see Lily silently stowing her wand. Severus continued following Professor Snape's instructions, deviating from the prescribed recipe in the textbook so he could brew a superior-
"What are you doing?" Lily asked.
Severus looked up as he was about to crush the Sopophorous bean with the flat of the silver knife. "It helps release the juices," he replied quietly. "Better. They release better."
"You shouldn't try to deviate from the recipe." Lily proceeded to cut into her own bean relatively easier than the other students. When it came to Potions, Lily was very by-the-book, and Severus would almost say to a fault if not for the fact that Lily rarely brewed a potion less than outstanding. Despite knowing how Lily brewed, Severus couldn't help but feel… what was the word? Hurt? No, that was for soft people. Betrayed? No, he and Lily weren't friends. Whatever it was, it bothered Severus more than it should have.
In the past, Lily had told him not to deviate, but it was said either playfully or out of concern. They had their own arguments about potions, all in good fun, and Severus felt they had complemented one another; while Lily mastered a recipe, Severus innovated it.
Realizing he was being sidetracked, he returned to trying to crush the bean, succeeding rather easily. The only tricky part was handling it, and he barely managed to hold the crushed bean over the cauldron to add the juices.
The hour had passed, and Slughorn was inspecting everyone's potions. Unsurprisingly, Potter and Pettigrew's potions were acceptable, while Creevey's potion exceeded expectations. McKinnon was also acceptable, although notably better than Pettigrew's and not as good as Potter's. Finally, Slughorn made his way to the back, where he inspected Severus's and Lily's.
"Hmm," Slughorn said, peering at both cauldrons. His eyes lit up. "Outstanding, Lily! Why, this is one of the finest brews I've seen in years!"
"Unsurprising, I'm sure," Lily smirked back.
Slughorn chuckled as he turned to Severus. "Well, you've certainly exceeded my expectations, Snape." He then turned and walked to the front of the class.
Exceeded… fucking exceeded expectations. Severus Snape, exceeding expectations?! Severus looked between his own cauldron and Lily's. They looked identical to one another. Severus looked back up at Slughorn, anger boiling-
"Exceeds expectations?"
Severus turned in surprise at hearing Lily's voice.
"Professor, Severus's potion looks exactly like mine!"
"That's true," Slughorn said, "however, there was that little mishap with the water earlier, and Mr. Snape seemed to be having a harder time of it than you. While your batches are indeed the same, another factor is efficiency."
Severus looked back at his cauldron, bottling up his anger as best he could as Lily made no further comment.
"Now then, as promised," Slughorn said, "the recipient of Felix Felicis this year goes to Lily Evans. Miss Evans, come and collect your prize!"
As Lily walked up to the front of the room, a few of the other students congratulated her, including bloody Potter. Slughorn then dismissed the class for the week, giving them an essay on the history of the use of Draught of Living Death, as well as the short- and long-term effects. Severus wished he had included a section on potential applications, but he had the feeling that, even if Slughorn assigned it, Severus's theory on medical use might be snubbed.
As Severus had finished gathering up his supplies, Lily said softly, "Your potion was outstanding."
"I know," Severus replied. "But Slughorn's right. I was struggling-"
"You're unwell-"
"That doesn't matter," Severus interrupted. "Apparently."
Slughorn approached the two of them and said, "Well done again, Lily. Would you be able to visit me in my office after tonight's dinner? I'm planning another one of my famous Hallowe'en dinner parties, but I'd like to hear your input."
"Of course," Lily replied, smiling. "I'll be sure to make it. What time?"
"Oh, um… how about… 7:30?"
Lily went quiet for a moment, and Severus couldn't help but look over. For the briefest of moments, he could see the light leave Lily's eyes, but they twinkled back into existence as she said, "7:30 works for me, sir."
"Good, good! Ah, Mr. Snape, if you could stay behind for a moment."
"Yes, sir." Severus turned and said to Lily, "You should go eat."
"I could say the same thing to you," Lily replied. "You should rest more, as well." She grabbed her belongings and left the classroom.
Severus turned back to Slughorn and asked, "What did you wish to speak to me about, sir?"
"I'm sorry I had to give you a lower grade," Slughorn said, although Severus wasn't sure how sincere it was. "However, your performance today was a bit lacking, despite the results. One mishap, and you could've endangered us all."
"I didn't-"
"But you could have." Slughorn paused before continuing, "Now, I'm somewhat aware of your condition, or at least as much as Albus has told me. Perhaps it would be better if you simply brewed your potions outside of class?"
"... are you throwing me out?" A drop of red had spilled into Severus's question.
"Not at all, my boy," Slughorn said quickly. "I was suggesting that, given your illness, you should rest a bit."
Ah yes, rest a bit. Rest a bit, when I have thirteen fucking classes to- "I'm fine, sir. I'm sure I'll adjust to my schedule well enough."
"If you insist," Slughorn said. "Now then, I'll be going to dinner." Without another word, Slughorn left the classroom.
Severus gathered his belongings and walked back to his room, alone. For a few moments, he felt that familiar uneasiness, as though he was being watched, but he ignored it for now. Distraction would only lead to him losing control of what he was doing.
Finally reaching his room, he turned the doorknob with his elbow and shuffled in, slamming his belongings on the table closest to him as he rested his arms. For all the mass and strength he had gained, albeit not much, his lack of motor skills made it all dead weight.
After sitting for a few minutes of quiet, there was a knock on the door. Severus stood and opened it, finding Lily standing outside.
"How are you?" Lily asked.
"Fine," Severus muttered back. "I hope my answer exceeds your expectations."
"Look, what Slughorn said was unfair, but you have to stop moping about it."
Moping…? "Fine."
"So," Lily asked, "are you coming to dinner?"
"Essays," Severus answered. "I have to make up for my summer work as well."
"You haven't finished those?"
"Not much opportunity."
Lily stood silently, looking at Severus with those almond eyes. "Do you need help?"
"I can manage," Severus said. "You need to focus on your own schoolwork, not to mention that dinner party-"
"I don't have to help Slughorn," Lily said quickly. "I could free up time-"
"No," Severus said, stopping her. "No, if Slughorn needs your help this early on for the Hallowe'en party, then it must be fairly significant. I'm not going to stop you from doing what you want."
Lily looked Severus up and down before responding. "Do you want me to help Slughorn?"
"What I want is for you to keep your promises."
There was a long silence between them, and it was impossible for Severus to miss the look in her eyes as she broke eye contact. Their light had dimmed, and there was something there, something about what Severus had said about promises. And it dawned on him.
"... I shouldn't hold it against you."
Lily looked up at him again. "What?"
"7:30. Owlery. I shouldn't hold that against you."
"Oh. How long did you-"
"Let's put it behind us," Severus quickly said. If she found out how long she'd waited, she would feel worse. And that always led to her pitying Severus. "No more talk about that. I'm sure something was keeping you, so I can't blame you for it."
"I-"
"What's done is done."
Lily nodded and said softly, "Okay. No dinner, then."
"Essays."
"Right." Lily crossed her arms in front of her. "I don't have any classes tomorrow, but I'm assuming you'll be busy then, as well."
Severus nodded. "Care for Magical Creatures, as well as working on those essays." He almost wanted to tell her about Muggle Studies, but if she found out how many classes he was taking, she might go to Dumbledore. And this was aside from the fact that the Severus she knew would have never willingly signed up for Muggle Studies.
"You know you could drop classes, Severus."
"Me… drop a class?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "Next, you'll be expecting Potter to keep his hair tidy."
Lily smirked, and for the briefest moment, Severus caught a glimpse of the girl he'd met on the playground. Something in his chest twisted, but he kept himself composed.
"That's wishful thinking," Lily said.
Severus fought back a smile. "In any event, I should-"
"Right, sorry. I'll see you… not tomorrow, I assume."
"You can stop by, if you're able."
Lily nodded. "Okay. Good night, Severus."
"Night, Lily."
Lily turned and left as Severus shut the door. Aside from the nightmare, head injury, and botched Potions lesson, today wasn't such a bad day.
Lily II
Lily arrived outside of Slughorn's office slightly late. She knocked on the door, waiting a moment before the professor opened the door.
"Ah, Lily! I was wondering where'd you'd gone off to!"
"Sorry, Horace," Lily said, walking in. "I lost track of time at dinner."
"No worries, dear. Come, sit! I have some candid pineapple we can share."
Lily eyed the bowl on the desk between the two chairs in front of her. She liked crystallized pineapple enough, but it wasn't her favorite. She sat down with Slughorn as the latter summoned two teacups, along with tea.
"Now then," Slughorn said, "about that party. First, I want to pick a date for it. I was considering the 30th, a Saturday, if that sounds appropriate?"
Lily took a second to think. "That might be too close to the Hallowe'en Feast. What if it was held the Saturday before, which would be the 23rd, I think."
"Hmm, yes, that's a good point," Slughorn admitted, taking a piece of the pineapple and indulging. "The 23rd… yes, if it was on a Sunday, it might be a tad inconvenient the morning after, yes?"
"That's what I was thinking," Lily replied. "Did you have a place in mind?"
"Well, I was thinking either the courtyard, like last time, or perhaps we could have it in one of the disused classrooms? I had considered the fourth floor, but Mr. Snape is occupying it. Shame, really; it was one of the few with its own lavatory."
"Sir?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"We still get to bring a guest to the parties, don't we?"
"Of course. Why do you ask?"
"Would you be opposed to me bringing Severus?"
Slughorn looked as though he was about to respond, but he hesitated. Lily wasn't sure what was going through his head, but whatever it was, it had halted the professor in his tracks. Finally, he replied, "Well, are you sure he's well enough?"
"I think it might do him good," Lily replied. "With eating and walking around, I think it could be good for his health."
"Yes, but he may be busy. He still has to finish his summer essays, not to mention his normal schoolwork. And this is aside from his alchemy lessons with the headmaster."
"All the more reason for him to step back and relax." Lily's suspicions were beginning to become more concrete.
"From my conversations with him, he seems perfectly fine with not attending."
"You've spoken to him about this?"
"Well, of course."
"... do you not want Severus to come?" Lily hoped she wasn't overstepping.
"W-well, don't be ridiculous," Slughorn said, visibly flustered. "I just think it would be inappropriate."
"I don't have to invite him, if you don't want-"
"Nonsense, Lily, of course you can invite him." Slughorn took a sip of tea to chase down the seventh piece of pineapple. "But first, perhaps you should ask him?"
"Why would he say no?"
"Given his current condition, do you believe he would say yes?"
On one hand, Severus had never gone to one of Slughorn's dinner parties unless he accompanied Lily as her guest. On the other hand, Severus had always accepted Lily's invitation. "I think so, yes."
"Well, I won't stop you. Now then, shall we pick out the hor d'oeuvres?"
After a lengthy conversation about the benefits and shortcomings between a buffet-style event and a formal dinner, Lily convinced Slughorn to extend the event into Sunday. While Saturday would be the dinner party, Sunday would feature a costume party and be open to more than just members and alumni of the Slug Club. While Slughorn was reluctant to agree to the idea, Lily convinced him by saying it would be a way to show off the club to the rest of the school.
After leaving and making her way back to the Gryffindor Tower, Lily sat down on the bed, thinking about the day's events. She couldn't get Severus out of her head, and the image of him lying near-unconscious on the hard stone ground, supplies scattered around, pulled at something in her chest. Seeing him struggle carrying his potion supplies and rejecting her help, despite being clearly unwell and recovering from a head injury, was almost typical of Severus, or it would be if he was in a better mood. And seeing his face, the intensity of his stare boring into his cauldron, made Lily see that it wasn't an act, no matter what Marlene said. Severus didn't fake anger.
What Severus had said that evening, when they had spoken just outside his room, bothered Lily. He shouldn't have dismissed what had happened in June so easily. She'd promised to meet him in the Owlery, and he'd waited… well, potentially since 7:30. Seeing the look on his face as he brushed that night aside… hurt. She wanted him to be angrier, to make her see that what she'd done had hurt him in some way. It would be just like all the other times he would be angry, where he wasn't so afraid of saying what he believed. Despite what he had become later in their friendship, Lily missed the old Severus.
This new Severus was… too subdued. He'd willingly agreed to sit at the same table and hold a conversation with James Potter, of all people, but Lily knew he'd hated it. The old Severus would've never tolerated that. He would've gone straight to the Slytherin table in protest, sitting with-
Lily stopped herself. How could she have missed that Severus? The Severus she'd known sided with supporters of You-Know-Who, for God's sake…. But to her knowledge, he hadn't spoken to any of his Slytherin friends since he came back. Granted, it had only been six days since they'd returned to Hogwarts, but… the Amortentia...
Lily stopped herself again. She needed to write this down to keep track of everything. She pulled out the black notebook and opened it to the first page, taking up a quill and unstopping the inkwell so she could first cross out the note she'd left….
Which was now gone.
Lily froze. She knew she'd written that note… hadn't she? She had to. She checked the seams of the pages to see if there was tearing; perhaps the page had been taken out, for some reason. No, it was fully intact. She must've imagined it….
Getting back to her original task, Lily began writing down her thoughts on Severus.
Concerns with Severus, 6th September, 1976:
-physical condition: unstable due to illness(?), head injury, possibly malnourished (despite looking healthier)
-emotional condition: distant, unwilling to talk about his problems
-personal issues: Slytherin friends, 'mudblood', Dark Magic, controlling behavior, anger issues
-developments: less controlling and more submissive, anger is subdued, hasn't spoken to Slytherin friends since return to Hogwarts
As Lily paused to think about what else to write, the words on the page began to vanish. Lily's eyes widened, flipping past the first page to see if the ink had bled through… but it was gone. Completely gone. She returned to the first page and nearly jumped out of her seat at what had replaced her notes.
1976? Goodness, it's been a long time since anyone's written here.
Lily's brow furrowed. Stupid notebook, erasing her notes to replace them with some snarky comment! She dipped her quill and wrote furiously.
GIVE ME BACK MY NOTES
I apologize. One moment.
The words vanished, only for Lily's original notes to return. At the bottom appeared another message.
Would you like to continue with your notes?
Lily stared at the notebook in silence. This couldn't be normal, although she supposed it made sense for witches and wizards to make something like this. It seemed like it would save on paper if the words could vanish and appear at the owner's request.
Sure.
Splendid. Now then, tell me a bit about Severus.
We used to be best friends before we came to Hogwarts. He taught me about magic.
You didn't know beforehand?
I'm Muggle-born.
I see. I suppose that makes sense. Describe him.
Well, he's fairly thin, and he keeps his hair long.
I meant as a person.
Oh. Well, he's smart. Really, really smart.
I can respect that. I've been known for my intellect.
Ha ha. Anyway, in the past, Severus was relatively quiet. Or at least, when I wasn't around. Unless he got angry.
Angry?
He has a bad temper.
Has he hurt you?
Not physically.
In what way, then?
Emotionally. He started spending time with people who hate me for being Muggle-born, and then he called me a
A what?
Mudblood.
I see. Well, based on your notes, you seem concerned for him. But if he called you a mudblood, pardon my language, then perhaps you should cut ties with him for good?
I tried, but he kept pestering me.
How?
He wanted to talk.
About?
According to him, "everything".
Vague.
I know. Anyway, we'd set a time and place to meet, and then I
You stopped writing again. Are you upset?
I'm upset with myself.
Why?
I promised to meet him, just to have some closure between us. I was going to say goodbye for good.
And?
I forgot the meeting.
… how?
I don't know. I had another meeting with Professor Slughorn at the same time as Severus.
Planning a dinner party, no doubt.
Lily froze at the words on the page.
How did you know that?
I knew Slughorn back in the day, but I'd rather not talk about him. He doesn't like me too much.
You're a person?
I'm an imprint of a person, much like a portrait.
Do you know who Tom M. Riddle is?
That would be me. Or rather, the man who made this diary in 1943.
1943?
Yes, poke fun at my age, why don't you?
I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting you to be that old. You look rather good for someone your age.
Leather-bound and empty inside?
Ha ha.
What's your name?
My name?
I told you mine, you should tell me yours.
Lily Evans.
Lily… a beautiful name for whom I assume to be a beautiful girl.
As opposed to a beautiful boy?
Come now, we're not talking about me just yet.
How humble.
The most humble.
Ha ha.
Narcissism aside, I think your name is beautiful.
Well, I think Tom is a rather handsome name as well.
I don't.
Why not?
I'm named after my father.
Do you not get along?
I hate him.
Lily paused looking down at what had been written. She dipped her quill in more ink and continued.
Why?
He abandoned my mother when she was pregnant. He didn't care about her.
Does she talk about him?
She died in childbirth. I've never met her. She deserved better than him.
If she hadn't been with him, you never would have been born.
Is that wrong?
Lily almost set the quill down as she reread the words on the page. For anyone to hate their father that much….
Severus hated his father as well.
Why?
He used to hurt him and his mother.
You said Severus used to hate him. What happened to change that?
His father died.
Good.
That's an awful thing to say.
If a man hurts his wife and child, he deserves to die. How did he die?
Suicide by hanging.
Coward. Hopefully, Severus and his mother are safe.
His mother passed away earlier this year.
How?
His father murdered her.
He deserves more than death. The Cruciatus Curse would be too good for him.
That's Dark Magic, Tom!
Why is that important?
It's evil!
So is abusing and murdering your wife.
It's not the way to do things.
Your father abuses you and your mother, and then murders her. What do you do?
My father would never do that. He loves me and Mum.
Then clearly, you have no idea what it's like.
What are you talking about?
Your parents love you, yes? Clearly, you don't know what it's like to grow up without love. I bet Severus felt the same way until you befriended him.
Lily felt her anger get the best of her, and she furiously wetted her quill to reply.
I didn't open you up to have an argument about Dark Magic!
No, you wanted to understand Severus, when clearly, I have a better understanding of him than his supposed friend.
Lily felt her eyes sting, and she blinked a few times as she controlled her breathing. A few tears fell on the page in front of her, but they were quickly drawn inside. After some time, the words vanished and reformed.
I'm sorry, that was unkind of me.
It's alright.
Tell me more about him.
What?
Let me help you with this. Maybe I can help you understand him.
Severus III
Tuesday, 14 September 1976
Severus wasn't particularly fond of magical creatures, but he knew they could produce useful potion ingredients. The only part of the class he hated was the people in it; in this case, it was Sirius fucking Black. What made the day worse was that, for some goddamn reason, Professor Kettleburn thought it a good idea to pair off, leaving Severus with, of course, Sirius fucking Black.
And so they Severus was, watching the bastard ruffle his hair and eyeing the glumbumbles. The curious insects produced a treacle that could induce melancholy in those who consumed it. It was also noted to infest and devastate beehives, specifically regarding the honey produced. Currently, Kettleburn was instructing the class on how to properly feed nettles to the insects; of course, he hadn't warned the class to bring gloves, leaving Severus as the only one with proper hand protection, courtesy of Professor Snape's memories.
"Oi, Sni-ape," Black muttered. "Give me one of your gloves."
"What's the magic word?"
Black looked confused, and Severus couldn't help but roll his eyes. It seemed, despite Black's interest in Muggles, he couldn't bother learning a few Muggle phrases. Typical pureblood.
Finally, Black answered, with what might be considered a painful expression, "... please?"
"Hmm, you can be polite," Severus sneered, taking off one of the gloves and handing it to him. "And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks."
Black seemed to bristle at that as Severus held back a smirk. He could have some fun with this.
Severus grabbed a nettle with his gloved hand and moved toward the dark hole the glumbumbles were nesting in. As he stuck his gloved hand in, he felt the insects within settle on the leather and swarm on the nettles.
"Hurry it up," Black said.
"Yes, let me just make them eat faster," Severus shot back.
Black shot Severus a look but remained silent, and Severus continued feeding the glumbumbles as he reflected on the events of the past week.
Tuesday was, decidedly, Severus's least favorite day, as Lily was taking neither Care for Magical Creatures nor Muggle Studies. Instead, he had the utmost displeasure of sharing both classes with Sirius fucking Black, with the addition of Marlene bloody McKinnon for Muggle Studies.
Wednesday was somewhat better, as Lily took Charms, unquestionably her best subject; watching Lily perform charms was, for lack of a better word, magical. Unfortunately, she wasn't taking Herbology, which became worse when Severus learned that both Potter and McKinnon were in that class.
Thursday was Severus's 'rest day'; aside from Lily and Lupin's attendance (which was tolerable), Severus had discovered that his writing skills had improved, albeit only just. The quill was beginning to feel good in his hand, and he could get more done in a shorter amount of time, although again, only just. He had no need to reflect on History of Magic; that class was when Severus took the time to work on his other essays, as Professor Binn's lectures and assignments could easily be read out of the book, which Severus had finished.
Friday… Severus didn't like Friday too much, but at least Lily was in Transfiguration; however, it didn't help that it was also taken by Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, and McKinnon. Divination was… well, it was Divination, so all Severus had to do was make nonsense up and receive points from the professor, who made a point to draw attention to the fact that she was the author of one of the books in class. Arithmancy was the only class Severus genuinely enjoyed on Fridays, despite Lily's absence; working with numbers and interpreting cause and effect through numerology was therapeutic. Astronomy was boring, although not as boring as History of Magic, and the only part that made it interesting was the presence of Black and Lupin, which wasn't a highlight.
Monday went better than the previous one, as Severus managed to attend Defense and take proper notes; the only part he wasn't fond of was practicing non-verbal wandwork. Alchemy was more in-depth this time around, as Dumbledore was now focusing on each of the four primary elements over the course of multiple weeks; this week saw the first lesson on the element of earth, or solid matter. Potions class was marginally better, as Severus had regained some motor function during the practical portion of the class; Slughorn hadn't noticed, but at this point, Severus didn't care, even though he knew he should. It would take time, but he was sure he could sway Slughorn.
In the past week, Severus had been met with two problems. The first problem was with Professor McGonagall, who had chosen to keep Severus after class once again to go over his disappointing performance. She expressed her frustration regarding Severus, despite his condition; as Severus had requested to take his Transfiguration O.W.L. early, and had taken it in her presence to prevent him from cheating (as if he needed to cheat for bloody Transfiguration), she had expected he would perform outstandingly among his fellow sixth-years. This had led to Severus talking back to her, resulting in a loss of points. If this was any indication of his time in recovery, he expected to receive a detention before Hallowe'en.
The second problem was Lily. With the passing of the week, Severus quickly realized that he was in no position to sit down and have the long conversation he needed to have with her. Lily, understandably, had not been pleased, and expressed her displeasure during her evening visits to his room. Severus had made the mistake of bringing up her newfound responsibilities in planning the Hallowe'en party, although he had no idea why it had upset her the way it did. In any event, he didn't expect this evening's visit to be pleasant.
As Severus finished his reminiscence, he realized the glumbumbles were done eating, and he stepped back to allow Black to take his turn. Black brushed past him, nudging him subtly. As Black hadn't detached the leaves from the plant, they were swaying about, and the nettles came close to Severus's face-
Severus hissed as one of the leaves brushed his lower eyelid. "For fuck's sake, Black!'
This outburst drew the attention of the rest of the class, with Kettleburn hobbling over. "Five points from Slytherin for your vulgar language, Mr. Sn- Merlin's beard, lad, your eye's swelling up!"
"Black did it on purpose," Severus said, jabbing a finger at Black.
"Rubbish!" Black spat back. "It's not my fault you were in the way!"
"Enough of this!" Kettleburn rarely got angry, but he was more than willing to express it when his class was disrupted by conflict. "Black, escort Snape to the Hospital Wing."
"I'll go by myself," Severus grumbled.
"No, you will not. With that reaction, you could go blind before you even reach the castle."
Black roughly grabbed Severus by the arm and said, "Fine, I'll take him."
The vision in Severus's eye began to blur and darken as his eyelid grew swollen, and he could no longer see Black in his periphery. He could feel his eyes watering as the stinging heat spread across his face, although it wasn't as bad as Kettleburn had led him to believe.
"Trying to get me in trouble, Snivellus?" Black hissed under his breath.
"Well, it's about time you showed your true colors, Black. I'm surprised you've had this much restraint."
"You know, I'm trying to play nice, but with the trouble you're giving me, I'm having second thoughts!"
"... you can think?"
Severus felt the grip on his arm tighten, but he kept his face neutral as Black said, "You're lucky, you know. If James gave the word, I'd hex you 'til next summer."
"What a surprise: Potter's lapdog waiting for his master to let him off the leash."
Black hissed back, "That's rich, coming from Death Eater filth. Bet you can't wait to get marked."
"Good heavens, what happened to Mr. Snape?!" Madam Pomfrey's voice startled both boys into silence as they arrived in the Hospital Wing.
Black replied, "Snape had a bit of an accident involving stinging nettle."
"I can see that. And I'll thank you to not crush Mr. Snape's arm."
Black quickly let go of Severus's arm, and Severus said, "Black brushed one of the leaves into my eye on purpose."
"Are we still playing the victim?" Black sneered.
"Victim?!" Severus would've tackled Black to the ground had Pomfrey not drawn her wand and halted them both in place.
"I will not tolerate violence in this place of healing! Snape, detention this coming Saturday and Sunday night. Black, ten points from Gryffindor."
"What did I do?!"
"Antagonizing Mr. Snape. Now then, off you go. Snape, on your bed."
Black muttered to himself as Severus grumbled his way over to his bed. He sat down and started collecting himself as Pomfrey came to his side with an anti-inflammatory salve.
"Hold still, Mr. Snape. I need to reduce the swelling before I can rid the itching."
Severus nodded as Pomfrey began gently applying it. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling to Severus, and it wasn't because of his frequent visits to the Hospital Wing. It reminded him of his mother on days when Tobias didn't have enough drink to sedate him, in a time before Eileen herself had turned to the bottle. Severus would lay on his bed, stomach down, as his mother nursed his back with a homemade salve; it was of a lower quality, but it was enough to stop the bleeding. Every one of those nights, it would begin with the salve and end with a cold, wordless kiss on the forehead.
"You know better," Pomfrey said, snapping Severus out of his thoughts.
"It doesn't matter if I know better; it doesn't stop Black," Severus retorted.
"No excuses. You can be better than them."
"Not according to everyone else-" Severus winced as Pomfrey began treating the stinging sensation. "My options are fighting back or taking it like a good little victim."
"Well, the latter would afford you less visits to the Hospital Wing."
"Yes, but then you'd miss me," Severus said sarcastically.
"Hmph!" Pomfrey turned and produced a slightly damp rag to dab Severus's face. "Seems your illness hasn't rid you of that cheek."
"If the day comes that I lose that part of myself, you'll know something's really wrong."
Pomfrey didn't reply immediately, but she asked, "Are you sleeping well?"
"The potions are helping, thank you."
"Be careful not to take too high a dose. You may develop a tolerance to it too quickly."
"Well, should the time come, you could use Living Death," Severus mused.
"That's nothing to joke about, Mr. Snape."
Severus kept his mouth shut as Pomfrey finished dabbing his face.
"You'll need to wash your face a bit more when you have the time," Pomfrey said. "And I suggest making it a regular habit, multiple times a day. The oils in your skin made the reaction more severe than it should have been."
"I've… I may have been growing lax on that front."
Lax, is it?
Shut up.
"Well, that would explain it. Now go on, and remember this weekend."
"Yes, Madam Pomfrey."
Severus took his leave, making his way back to Kettleburn to collect his belongings…. Fuck.
The glove.
Maybe Black left it there.
Severus arrived to find Kettleburn talking with Black and Hagrid, the Keeper of Keys and Grounds. Severus wasn't fond of Hagrid, especially not after viewing Professor Snape's memories. The half-giant was a menace to Hogwarts for a variety of reasons, the most egregious reason being an exotic animal sMuggler; breeding an Acromantula colony directly next to a school, where children were present, carried that familiar Gryffindor recklessness.
"Ah, Snape!" Hagrid turned to greet Severus, much to the latter's surprise.
"Mr. Hagrid," Severus replied, seeing that Black was still wearing his glove. He said to Black, "I'll be having that back."
"Right." Black removed the glove and tossed it to Severus, who almost caught it. The glove fell to the ground in some slightly wet mud. "Sorry 'bout that."
"Hmm." Severus picked up the glove, wiped it off on a nearby patch of grass, and put it on.
Kettleburn said, "Snape, while your outburst earlier was uncalled for, you did complete today's practical exceedingly well."
"Thank you, professor," Severus replied, nodding.
"Well, pr'fess'r, I was 'opin' you'd come round f'r sum tea, if y'r able tah."
"Is that an open invitation?" Black asked.
"Of course! You 'n' Snape c'n come 'long."
Severus caught a glimpse of displeasure in Black's eye, which wasn't dissimilar to his own at the thought of having tea with Hagrid. Before he could refuse the offer, Hagrid grabbed him by the arm and started leading him to his hut.
"Pumpkins 're gettin' 'long, they are. 'eard Pr'fess'r Slughorn's throwin' an 'alloween party a week early. Right, Snape?"
"Lily mentioned it," Severus said quickly.
"Yeah, 'eard the Slug Club'll be plannin' it ou'."
"Ah, you'll be helping with that?" Kettleburn asked Severus.
"I haven't been told too much, but I'm sure Professor Slughorn will be in touch with me."
When they arrived, Hagrid led the other three inside, offering them seats while pulling out what would technically be considered cakes. As Hagrid put the kettle on, he said, "Y'know, I don' think I've ever 'eard of 'avin' an 'alloween party, at least not Slughorn 'avin' one."
"Might be a good change of pace," Black said.
"It would be rather fun," Kettleburn added. "Although I'm not quite sure how it would work. Is it simply Hallowe'en decorations?"
"Possibly a costume party," Severus said. "Muggles like costumes on Hallowe'en."
"I'll ask Lily 'bout that," Hagrid said.
An awkward silence found its way into the hut as Kettleburn and Hagrid sipped their tea. Black was trying to eat the 'cake' Hagrid had offered him, while Severus was trying to use the tea to soften it.
After some time, Hagrid said, "Y'know, I wen' t' 'ogwarts with both yer parents."
Black stopped trying to eat and looked up. "Really? I didn't know that."
"I never though' 'bout it b'fore, not 'ntil Snape…. Well, anyway, I met 'em. Yer ol' dad, Sirius, 'e was in my year. An' yer mum was a fifth year when we were Sor'ed, she was." He turned to Severus and said, "An' yer mum was a year b'low me. 'eard she was Cap'n of the Gobstones Team 'ere at 'ogwarts."
"I heard," Severus replied.
"Never knew 'em too well, bein' in Slytherin 'n' all."
As Hagrid sipped his tea, Severus caught something in his eye; there was a dullness, as though the half-giant was blocking something out.
The Chamber of Secrets.
What? Oh…. According to Dumbledore, Hagrid had been framed for the murder of Myrtle Warren, a third-year Ravenclaw girl, by upperclassman Tom Riddle. Granted, it hadn't been hard, as the girl had reportedly been killed by some monster, and Hagrid had happened to be in possession of a certain Acromantula.
"Yes, I remember them," Kettleburn mused. "Orion and Walburga excelled at Charms, although Miss Black had a stronger affinity for Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Sounds about right," Black muttered.
"And Eileen… well, she was never that talkative by her third year. Mostly kept to herself when she wasn't playing gobstones."
'Hmm." Severus hadn't expected Hagrid's response to be so short. "I was sorry t' 'ear of 'er passin'."
"Thank you," Severus said. It wasn't bad enough he had to drink tea with this oaf; no, now it had to turn into a pity-party.
"Ah, perhaps we should go to lunch?" Kettleburn suggested, sparing Severus from such thoughts. "I hear they have fried flobberworms today."
"Ah, that's good, that is. You two comin'?"
"Love to," Black replied.
"I have revision and essays," Severus answered.
"Can' work on an empty stomach!"
"I can have food brought to me. I have much to catch up on."
"Ah yes," Kettleburn said. "Hopefully you'll be done soon. I'd rather grade it before Hallowe'en."
"Of course," Severus said.
As the four of them walked back to the castle, Severus kept his eyes on Black. The boy was chatting away with Hagrid, talking to him about motorcycles and automobiles in general. But mostly motorcycles. In any case, the half-giant sounded fascinated by the subject, as he'd taken Muggle Studies as his second elective during his third year.
Parting ways, Severus returned to his room and shut the door, removing his gloves and sitting down at his desk. As he sat, he felt his nerves begin to act up, and he closed his eyes and leaned back to calm himself down. It was a short respite before Muggle Studies, but he could do with as much rest as-
Sit up and work on your essays.
Give me some time.
The sooner you finish them, the more time you give yourself later on.
Severus opened his eyes and sat up, letting out a deep sigh as he picked up his quill and returned to the parchment before him.
Lily III
Skipping lunch?
Fried flobberworms.
Pardon?
Imagine a flobberworm that's been fried.
Ah, so it would be… exactly as it's named, then?
Yes.
Surely, you should eat.
I brought some chips to my ro
Lily, what happened? Are you alright?
I'm fine. Marley was asking me about Muggle Studies.
Are you taking that class as well?
No, but I'm Muggle-born.
I see. Why would that mean you would be familiar with Muggle Studies?
Well, my working theory is that both of my parents, my sister, and my other relatives are Muggles, not to mention I live in a Muggle town.
Where?
Cokeworth.
Sounds dull.
It is. Where are you from?
London.
Is that where the orphanage is?
Yes.
Where was your mum from?
Little Hangleton.
Where's that?
Near Great Hangleton.
Ha ha.
It's just east of Manchester. Where's Cokeworth?
Do you know Birmingham and Wolverhampton?
I do.
It's about halfway between the two, in Sandwell, along the River Tame.
Ah, so the Black Country?
Yeah.
From what I know of the region, it used to be highly-industrial. Is it still that way?
Not as much as before, but Cokeworth's still a bit behind everyone else.
Tell me about your family.
Well, my dad was a foreman at the mill near Severus's house, but then he started working for the city council after he was diagnosed with cancer, although he eventually returned to help modernize.
I'm sorry to hear that. And your mother?
Raised me and Tuney.
Tuney?
Petunia.
Is she a witch as well, or is she a Muggle?
Muggle. We
What's wrong?
Sorry.
Don't apologize.
I got the page wet.
I'll dry out. If you don't want to discuss it, we can try something else.
No, it's okay. I'm just having trouble adjusting to things.
What do you mean?
Tuney and I have had a bit of conflict. She doesn't like magic, and she calls me a freak whenever she gets the chance.
Sounds like a horrid girl.
Don't talk about my sister that way!
Then say something positive about her.
She loves me.
Based on what you've said before, that doesn't sound right.
She's upset that I chose magic over her.
Witches and wizards don't choose magic. Magic chooses them.
I chose to come to Hogwarts. She resents me for that.
If that's the case, she doesn't sound like she's worth reconciling with.
Well, just before sixth year, she said she was willing to talk about our relationship, but only after she had sorted out her career at Grunnings.
Grunnings?
Some sort of drilling company. Anyway, I'm going to visit her this Christmas holiday on the way back to Cokeworth. She lives in London.
Are you sure she's worth it?
She's my sister, so yes.
Blood is irrelevant.
Easy to say, coming from you.
The words slowly faded on the page, but there was no response. Lily waited in earnest, eating another chip as she impatiently tapped her quill. The tapping slowed as she realized what she had said; she'd all but said Tom had no one….
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
It's fine.
No, I was wrong. It doesn't matter what your family is like.
It matters to me. And you're right in that it's very easy for me to realize blood relations are meaningless. You've told me about Tobias Snape, a man who abused his wife and son. Did their blood mean anything to him unless it painted his knuckles?
I suppose not.
Clearly, if a man can do that to his own kin, then you overestimate the bonds of blood.
In a fit of rage, Lily threw her quill down on the table and slammed the diary shut. She wasn't about to listen to someone who dismissed the love she had for her family by comparing them to someone like Tobias Snape. She took a few slow, deep, shaky breaths as she crossed her arms.
As much as they didn't get along, Lily loved Petunia. And she knew, deep down, that Petunia loved her as well. Surely, it was normal for siblings to have arguments and fight, but when it came to Petunia… she could be so mean. It wasn't even about what she said; it was the feeling behind the words. Disgust….
Lily opened the diary again and wet the quill with fresh ink, but paused as she saw the words on the page.
Did I upset you?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
Are you?
I have a confession to make.
What is it?
I never really got along with many people.
Why am I not surprised?
Fair.
Surely, you had friends you spent time with.
Fellow orphans and schoolmates, yes. But spending time with someone doesn't make them your friend.
What does?
I don't know.
Lily's quill hovered over the page. She wasn't sure whether to believe Tom or not.
I don't believe you.
I don't blame you. Not many people can say they've never had friends. Except perhaps Severus, but based on what you've said about him, that may be for the best.
And I've told you that I want to try to mend our relationship. You said you'd help me understand him.
And I did, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with your decisions.
I don't want to have another argument with you.
Pity; I'm starting to enjoy them.
Berk.
Guilty as charged.
Lily let out a laugh, but quickly covered her mouth to silence herself.
I have to go now. I promised to meet Professor Slughorn to go over plans for the Halloween party.
How much have you figured out so far?
Costume party in the Great Hall on the Sunday before Halloween, after dinner.
What sort of costumes?
I'll tell you later. Bye.
Goodbye, Lily.
Severus IV
"McKinnon! Talkalot! You're both late!"
Severus turned his head slightly to see McKinnon and Talkalot standing in the doorway, their hair clearly messed up. As Severus was closest to the door, he could tell some of Talkalot's hair had been ripped out, although little enough to go unnoticed by most.
"Sorry, professor," Talkalot began. "We-"
"Five points from Gryffindor and Slytherin for tardiness. McKinnon, sit with Snape. Talkalot, with Black."
"But-"
"Do I hear another five points, McKinnon?!"
"... no, professor."
McKinnon dropped her books on Severus's table loudly before sitting down, moving her chair as far away from him as she could manage.
"I take it you and Talkalot weren't involved in a clandestine rendezvous," Severus whispered, smirking. It was good to see McKinnon flustered, even more that she was sitting with someone she hated.
"Piss off, Snake," McKinnon hissed under her breath.
"Now then," Professor Wigworthy continued. "Before I forget, last week, we discussed the different modes of Muggle transportation. Please take out your essays so that I may collect them."
Severus, along with everyone else, did as instructed, and Wigworthy swished his wand. The essays flew to the desk near the board and stacked themselves into a neat pile.
"With that out of the way, please raise your hand if you have lived in a Muggle town at any point."
Severus reluctantly raised his hand and froze in place, realizing he was the only one in the class.
"Ah, Mr. Snape. You may have more experience with Muggle transportation than most here. Please tell us about where you live."
All eyes were on Severus, and he could all but feel McKinnon's disdainful stare.
Occlude and get it over with.
"Yes, professor," Severus began. "I live in Cokeworth, in the Black Country."
"Tell us about Cokeworth, regarding transport."
"Cokeworth was originally an industrial town, specializing in producing coke-"
"Coke, Mr. Snape?"
"It's a fuel made by heating coal or oil while depriving it of air. Cokeworth would produce coke from locally-mined coal and then send it by train to Birmingham, where it would be distributed throughout Britain."
"I see. Continue."
"As time went on, the industry went into decline, and the town began to modernize at a slower rate than cities such as Dudley or Wolverhampton. Because of this, the roads of Cokeworth were never redeveloped with automobiles in mind, save perhaps for motorcycles."
"So, you mean to say Cokeworth has no four-wheeled automobiles?"
"There are exceptions, professor. The richer families in town have family cars, which take up about half of the width of the roads. Two-way traffic is generally avoided, so many streets have been redesigned as one-way streets."
"Two-way and one-way?"
"Referring to the flow of traffic, professor. With two-way traffic, automobiles can pass each other while traveling in opposite directions. One-way traffic means automobiles may only travel in a single direction."
"What is the primary mode of transportation, then?"
"Bicycles. Wolverhampton is noted for its bicycle industry; due to proximity, Cokeworth became its closest importer. There's rarely any households in Cokeworth that don't have at least one bicycle."
"And what of the train used to transport this 'coke' substance?"
"Repurposed for the transportation of textiles."
"An outstanding answer, Mr. Snape! Twenty points to Slytherin!"
Severus bit back the grumble as he slid down into his chair. He quickly glimpsed at McKinnon, who was still watching him, for some reason.
"What?" Severus muttered.
"Nothing," McKinnon replied coolly, turning back to the front of the class. Severus could tell she wasn't pleased.
The lesson went on, with the class learning about the development of Muggle roads, railways, and ports. About halfway through, students were paired off to discuss a Muggle town or city they were most familiar with and quizzing each other in whatever way they saw fit.
Severus, unsurprisingly, was paired with McKinnon, because why wouldn't he be?
"Let's get this over with," McKinnon muttered.
"Since I went first, perhaps I should ask the first questions."
"Fine."
Severus took a moment to gather his thoughts. "You're visiting Lily, but you have to travel to Cokeworth through Muggle means. What do you do?"
"I take the train."
"From?"
"Birmingham?"
"You live in Birmingham?"
"No, I live-" McKinnon stopped abruptly and groaned. "No, first I would take a boat from Ireland."
"Cokeworth is landlocked, aside from the Tame, but I don't know if it connects to the sea."
"Then I'll travel by boat to Liverpool, and then take the train to Cokeworth."
"Cokeworth doesn't have a line to Liverpool."
"You said-"
"Yes, but not everything is connected together."
"Fine…. Liverpool to Birmingham to Cokeworth."
"Good; you're in Cokeworth. Now, what do you do from there?"
"Take a bus to-"
"No buses."
"Walk, then."
"If you walk to Lily's house, you'd have to pass through Spinner's End."
"And?"
"... you've read about Spinner's End in the paper, I assume."
"... right. What else is there, then?"
"Think about what Cokeworth typically has."
"I…." McKinnon paused.
"What?"
McKinnon's voice was lower than Severus had ever heard it, and for good reason. "... I don't know how to ride a bike."
"Well, you should learn then."
"You know how to ride a bike?"
"No."
McKinnon looked confused. "How did you visit Lily's house then?"
"We used to meet by the riverbank near my house. Her family doesn't like me."
"Can't imagine why," McKinnon said sarcastically. "Not hard to dislike you."
Severus steadied his breath. "Clearly."
"Now then," McKinnon said, "My turn. How would you get to Liverpool?"
"Cokeworth to Birmingham to Liverpool."
"Did you really just take my answer and reverse it?"
"Yes."
"Well, you have to get to the train station, first."
"I'd walk."
"Through Spinner's End?"
"I live in Spinner's End, and everyone there knows me. I'm relatively safe."
"And what if someone attacks you?"
"Concerned, are we?"
"You wish. Answer the question."
"If my goal is to reach the train station, I'd run."
"Run to the station with luggage?"
"I'm bringing luggage?"
"You're spending the week in Liverpool."
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Were you just planning on going without anything?"
"My goal is to travel to Liverpool, not stay there for any amount of time."
Severus could see he was winding McKinnon up. She said, "You'll be visiting family in Liverpool."
"Don't be ridiculous. I don't have family in Liverpool."
"Well, you don't have a family at all."
Severus felt himself bristle. The red flask was beginning to fill, slowly but surely, only to be met by the blue. He cleared his head to still his emotions, and the both liquids remained suspended in their place. "Thank you, so much, for reminding me," Severus said through gritted teeth. He didn't mind not having a father, but his mum…. He relaxed his mind a bit, and the liquids in the flasks began to recede.
McKinnon said nothing, but just looked away. Severus followed her eyes, only to find her looking directly at Black and Talkalot. Talkalot was busy asking her questions, while Black seemed to be barely answering any of them.
"Back on topic," Severus said, forcing the conversation to flow. "I need a reason to go to Liverpool."
"The beach. You could go swimming."
"I don't swim."
"Pretend you do."
"Fine," Severus sneered. "I'm packing a bag to go to Liverpool for the summer. I walk to the station."
"And again, what if someone attacks you?"
"I'll bring a knife."
McKinnon shook her head, throwing her hands up in the air in surrender. Severus turned away, smirking at the sight of her being flustered.
When class finally finished, Severus started gathering his things. As he was about to leave, McKinnon stopped him.
"What?" Severus almost made no effort to hide his disdain.
"Lily's going to visit you tonight."
"Like any other night," Severus replied dismissively.
"No, this is for something else." McKinnon paused, long enough that Severus thought she was done. He was about to speak when she continued, "She's going to ask you to do something… and you're going to say yes."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, am I?"
"As a matter of fact, you are."
"You don't seem pleased," Severus sneered.
McKinnon's face had turned a shade of pink as she continued. "I'm doing this for her sake."
Severus felt his sneer waver on his face. "Doing what?"
"Making peace with you."
"Pity Black can't do the same."
"I don't speak for Sirius, so if you want him to make peace, I suggest taking it up with him."
Severus inclined his head. "So then… you want to make peace, is that right?"
"For Lily."
Severus was about to retort, but the words hung in the air. "... for Lily, then."
McKinnon's face softened… as far as Marlene McKinnon was concerned, anyway, and she said, "Good. Maybe you can lose some of that Slytherin charm." She grabbed her belongings and left the classroom, walking with Black.
Severus made his way back to his room, setting his belongings on his desk just as someone knocked on the door. He answered it to find Lily standing outside. He quickly looked over her face and posture and deduced she was in her 'I'm angry and I mean business' stance.
"Severus," Lily said coldly.
"... good evening," Severus replied. "I take it that-"
"Stop." Severus stopped as Lily took a deep breath before the next words left her mouth. "I need help."
Ah, the request McKinnon mentioned.
I have the feeling I'll hate it. "With what?"
"Slughorn's party."
Severus froze. No. No, no…. "Come again?"
"I need your help in organizing Slugho-"
"I have to stop you there," Severus said, holding up his hand. Of all the things Lily could have asked- "You want me, Severus Snape, to help you with a party?"
"Yes."
"... a party?"
"Problem?"
"Lily, attending a Slug Club party doesn't make me an expert on planning them."
"Oh." Lily's expression changed from that of anger to confusion. "Oh, no no, not the dinner party. The Hallowe'en party."
It was Severus's turn to be confused. "The… isn't that the dinner party?"
"I convinced Slughorn to make it a two-part occasion during the weekend before Hallowe'en. Saturday evening will be the dinner party, which I can do with Slughorn alone, while the proper Hallowe'en party is the following evening."
"Why not have the party on the weekend of Hallowe'en?"
"We want to have snacks and drinks for the party, and I thought it might affect people's appetite when the Hallowe'en Feast comes."
"Ah…."
"It's a costume party, so I wanted it to have a bit of a Muggle feel."
Say yes.
What?
It's time spent with Lily.
I have essays to write!
And I have a perfect memory. By the time Hallowe'en comes, your handwriting should be back in working order. Each essay shouldn't even take that long, provided you have the patience.
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Are you-"
"I'll help."
Lily's eyes widened slightly, and Severus could see something light up behind the green. "You'll help?"
Severus nodded reluctantly. "I have a bit of catching up to do, but I should be able to help you occasionally. I think Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays should work for me."
"Okay." Severus struggled not to smile at Lily's stunned look. "Well… obviously not tonight, as you've only just been recruited."
"So, Thursday if I'm available?"
Lily nodded. "Thursday. Good night."
Before Severus could reply, Lily turned and power-walked down the corridor. He let the smile creep over his face as he shut the door.
Now that we have this planned, you'll need to catch up on your essays faster.
… right.
Lily IV
He said yes!
Really? Are we talking about the same Severus Snape you mentioned before?
Yes, the same one.
Odd. A bit… unlike him, isn't it?
Maybe, but I'm hoping this will help him open up, if he's around people he's comfortable with.
If you insist.
What?
I'm still processing how you want to make amends.
Because I think, in time, he'll recognize the error of his ways.
Is he the type?
He could be.
But you don't know.
You're not very supportive.
I'm a diary, not an advisor.
And yet you don't want Severus to be my friend.
… I'm a liar and a hypocrite.
Lily covered her mouth, stopping her from snorting with laughter. Before she could think of a witty comeback, Tom's words dissolved and reformed.
Did you figure out the specifics for the costume party?
I was thinking either a masquerade or something more casual and fun.
Masquerade sounds more elegant and would appeal to Severus.
That makes sense.
So, I would be correct in guessing you'll be choosing the casual and fun option.
Correct. Ten points to Slytherin.
Lily paused and stared at the words she'd written on the page. Tom took the opportunity to reform them.
My House doesn't bother you, does it?
Lily?
Sorry I didn't respond.
Had I known it would make you uncomfortable, I would never have told you what House I had been Sorted into.
It's not your fault.
Did you feel the same way when Severus was Sorted?
Lily?
I don't want to talk about this.
I'm sorry, please don't cry.
Don't apologize.
Perhaps you should get some sleep.
I think I will. Good night, Tom.
Severus V
Wednesday, 22 September 1976
Severus felt somewhat at ease during the past week, due to both his improved physical and academic performance. Charms class had been the most notable sign of his progress, although he still struggled with both non-verbal casting and precision. Herbology still needed some improvement, although he found the smell of the soil soothing; being cooped up in his room made him appreciate the outdoors more and more, although the sun was starting to grow too bright for his taste. Runes and History of Magic were his off-wand classes, and while it was good to take a break, he found it too boring; the only highlight was seeing Lily in Runes, and studying wandlore in History only proved to remind Severus that he wasn't being taught wandwork on Thursdays.
Friday's Transfiguration class had gone better, but Severus still received an earful from McGonagall, much to his chagrin. Divination was… well, it somehow became worse, because now, of all times, he was Vablatsky's star pupil; leave it to Severus fucking Snape to be the best in a class he despised. The only solace he found was in Arithmancy and Astronomy, as he could bury himself in calculations and a more scientific understanding of magic.
The weekend had proven to be a bit of a challenge for him. Barring his detentions, he soon found out that the Hallowe'en party Lily was planning was open to the entire school; not only that, but all members of the Slug Club were required to help facilitate the party and act as hosts. Severus wasn't sure if he was happy or annoyed that Slughorn hadn't kicked him out of the Club, but it was a good way to spend more time with Lily, even though the two barely had time to talk alone… not that he could blame her, but the sentiment remained.
Monday had seen significant improvement in Defense and Potions, and Severus was applauded by Slughorn in front of the entire class; Severus caught a look of displeasure from Potter and pals, although he seemed to hide it well enough from Lily. Severus wondered if she would believe him if he told her Potter hadn't changed; it would be hard to prove that he was still targeting him with that cloak and map. He'd even had reservations about telling Dumbledore during his Alchemy lessons the class before, and had opted not to; he might mention it tonight, though.
Care for Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies had also gone better for Severus, as Black hadn't sabotaged him even once. Muggle Studies was a bit different, as it was decided that the pairs from the previous week would now be pairs for the duration of the year. While McKinnon clearly didn't like this, she seemed to have been a bit more receptive to what Severus said about living among Muggles, specifically regarding travel. This time around, each pair was given a map of the roadways of Great Britain, and they had to properly plan their travel while calculating the total distance.
Severus snapped out of his train of thought, and he returned his attention to Professor Flitwick as the lesson went on. Lily wordlessly filled her glass with water, earning an applause from Flitwick and Potter, the latter whom Severus could tell was trying to earn points with her. Severus sneered at the spectacled white knight, but even more at the fact that Lily had chosen to sit next to McKinnon, who was next to Black, who was next to Potter.
Stupid fucking Potter. Clapping like a seal whenever Lily does something right, offering her a compliment if she so much as sneezes, holding the bloody door open for her even when she's the last one to leave, just to slam it in my face, messing up his hair like a fucking tool to-
Severus stopped. Half of the memories with Potter weren't his. They were of Potter and Lily during sixth and seventh year, where Potter managed to steal her heart under the pretense of reform. Yes, Potter had stopped randomly hexing students in the corridors, and he'd hidden his ego, but all that had done was free up his schedule so he could focus on Snivellus. His masterstroke had been near the end of seventh year, where he'd tricked Severus with a fake letter from Lily to talk about their problems, only for Severus to find Potter snogging Lily… more than snogging… much more than snogging….
Severus felt frozen in place. Even if he'd managed to regain Lily's friendship, it didn't mean Potter would stop, and it didn't mean Potter wouldn't win her heart in the end. Losing Lily had been a blow to Severus, but the idea of being friends with her while she was dating Potter would be a living hell that he would have no qualms in escaping from, by any means necessary. The only comfort Severus had was that Lily seemed neutral toward Potter, and while it made Severus sick, it was preferable to showing any positive emotions toward-
Lily looked at Potter and shot him a quick smile.
Severus's heart stopped, and what felt like ice began to ebb from his chest. He lowered his eyes, back to the cup, and let Flitwick continue the lesson, numbly writing down his notes.
Lily V
How is your party coming along?
Slughorn is infuriating.
Some common ground, I see.
Ha ha.
Tell me.
He tried to change the plans for the costume party.
In what way?
Catering. He was trying to turn it into another one of his dinner parties.
Is that bad? The food is quite good.
A lot of it is an acquired taste, and if the whole school is attending, it might put people off.
I'm still processing the idea that Slughorn would allow non-Club members to attend.
Well, an opportunity for the Slug Club to show off tends to make it easier for him to comply.
You would have done well in Slytherin.
Ah yes, one of those famous Muggle-born blood purists.
Now now, Lily, not all of us want the eradication of undesirables.
No?
No, only almost all of us.
Lily?
That's not funny, Tom.
Isn't it?
No.
I'm sorry.
You keep saying that, and I'm starting to believe it less.
I have to remind you that my sense of humor is darker than most.
That's not an excuse.
In that case, I'll avoid that particular topic in future.
Lily, please don't cry.
Lily, if there's a way for me to make amends, I'll do it.
You're a diary.
Then, you see I'm a bit limited in what I can do. But if I had a body, I would make amends.
Well, that's not possible, so there's no point.
I know…. Give me a moment.
Lily watched as the ink on the page began to bleed all over, until a blob appeared. Slowly, the blob formed into the shape of a young man, a rather handsome young man if Lily had ever seen one. She dipped her quill in ink and wrote off to the side.
Is that you?
Yes.
Why are you showing me this?
Well, I can't have a real body, so an illustration will have to do. What would you like me to do?
You're not responding.
Sorry.
Enjoying the view?
Shut up.
I'll take that as a yes.
Tom adjusted his pose to make himself look more dashing, and Lily let out a snort.
"What is it?" Marlene asked.
"Oh, nothing," Lily quickly said. She had forgotten Marlene was in the room. "I was thinking about something funny that happened yesterday."
"Right. Creevey." Marlene went back to her essay on Muggle transportation.
Lily turned back to the diary and wrote a response.
You made me snort.
You snort?
Like a pig.
Well, I'm not sure if I should be insulted that you find my beauty amusing, or if I should be satisfied in raising your spirits.
It's not amusing. You're quite handsome.
Dashing, really.
Lily slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle another laugh.
You remind me of someone in my year.
Do I have competition?
No, you're much more tolerable than that arrogant toerag.
Ah, a toerag, is he?
Indeed.
Tell me about him.
Well, it all started on the train to Hogwarts. Severus and I were in a compartment with him and another boy.
Their names?
James Potter and Sirius Black.
Potter, relative to Fleamont Potter?
His son.
Goodness. Either Fleamont had children late, or this James fellow might be slow in the mind.
The former, I'm told.
Didn't think one could get it up at that age.
Gross.
Continue the story.
Anyway, Severus and James got into an argument about Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.
Of course.
And that set the tone for the next five years. James and Sirius bullied Severus relentlessly. They have another friend, Peter Pettigrew, but he's
You stopped.
I'm trying to think of a word that describes him.
Useless?
There we go.
So, James and Sirius are bullies?
They were; they've decided to reform this year, but it's too early to say.
Describe them as best as you can. Start with James.
Handsome, talented, athletic, intelligent
I said describe James, not me.
How humble.
The most humble.
Berk.
Sorry, continue.
He's also an arrogant bully, but since the year started
Yes?
Well, he doesn't act as arrogant as he normally does. And I haven't seen him hexing random students, nor have I seen him bullying Severus.
So, he's changed for the better over the course of…?
About three months.
I can see why you're skeptical.
I wouldn't mind if he changed.
Is that so?
Can you keep a secret?
That is, quite literally, the sole reason for my existence.
I
You paused.
I know, it's hard to admit this.
If I guess, will you acknowledge if I'm correct?
Yes.
You fancy him.
Lily stared down at the page, her quill quivering in her hand. Well, she'd promised, and a Gryffindor kept her promise.
Yes.
For how long?
You want the honest answer?
That would be ideal, yes.
Ever since fourth year.
Why is that hard to say?
Because I was friends with Severus.
I see; that would complicate things.
It would.
Well, we can't help who we fancy, can we?
I suppose not.
And he's changing for the better, yes?
Supposedly.
Well, I don't see the problem with him.
It's Severus.
It sounds like that's Severus's problem, not yours. His opinion on this is irrelevant. He'll try to play the victim just to keep you from what you want.
I don't know about that.
Mark my words. The second you express interest in James, he'll do one of two things: he'll either wallow in self-pity and avoid you like the plague, or he'll react violently.
Violently?
Maybe not physical, but close enough. Am I off the mark?
I can't say you are, no.
Either way, that's a sign to cut him out of your life.
Lily took some time to think about what Tom was saying. Either one of those reactions was possible, but it was the second one she was worried about. Severus was easy to deal with when he avoided her, but when he got angry… Lily had to admit he terrified her. It was one of the reasons she'd had to match his anger and find weak points in his words to shut him down.
I need to think about it a bit more.
Don't think too long, or the situation will grow more complicated.
I know. Can we talk about something else?
Certainly. We can discuss how positively ravishing I look on this page.
Severus VI
Severus barely registered that he had arrived outside the Greenhouse, as the fall down the stairs a few hours ago had put him out of sorts. He had felt that same unease, and while he knew the cloak had to be involved, he had no way of responding without making himself look like a madman. Tonight, without fail, he needed to talk to Dumbledore about this… although knowing him, there might be some hidden Machiavellian scheme up his sleeve, all 'for the Greater Good'-
Severus was forced out of his thoughts as he bumped into a small figure, knocking her to the ground and causing him to stagger a bit and drop his book.
"Watch it," Severus hissed.
"S-sorry," the girl stuttered. Severus looked down at her and realized it was MacDonald.
"Oh, it's you." Severus wasn't sure how else to respond. All he could think about was the 'prank' Mulciber had pulled on her, and if she knew- Severus stopped himself and looked back down, seeing she'd dropped her book. He knelt down and grabbed it, handing it to her to keep his mind off of last year.
"... thank you," MacDonald said. Severus glanced at her; her blue eyes were wide with uncertainty, matching her voice.
Severus didn't reply; instead, he grabbed his own book-
"Snape?"
Severus paused and looked back at the girl, who had just stood. "Yes?"
"What's wrong with your eyes?"
Severus furrowed his brow. "What?"
"They're bloodshot."
"Lack of sleep."
MacDonald was quiet for a moment. "... I have a salve that could help-"
"Don't care," Severus quickly said, standing up and walking past her. He was relieved that she hadn't followed, and he felt a bit of satisfaction when he heard her walk off. The farther he kept away from her, the better. He couldn't afford to think about….
Severus returned his attention to the Greenhouse as he set his belongings down. Today's lesson finally involved extracting the juices of a Venomous Tentacula, something which he had been looking forward to since his coordination had started coming back; while not perfect, he had a feeling it was enough.
"Alright, Snape?"
Severus's blood boiled as he heard Potter enter the Greenhouse, along with McKinnon and a few other students. "Peachy," Severus replied, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.
"Right, then." Without so much as a taunt, Potter passed Severus and went to his work station.
Severus returned his sights to his book and skimmed through the section on the plant.
You realize I remember this.
I like having it on-hand.
Ten points to Slytherin. You'll need a tap.
I know, just looking over the sizes used.
Depends on the size and age of the plant. These specimens are five years old, so you would need something relatively thin to wedge between the grooves.
What about for a smaller one?
You would need something needle-like to penetrate it first, before applying the tap.
There's a few over on the table there. Let me-
As Severus went to retrieve one of the taps, he felt his foot catch on something, and he fell flat on the ground. He managed to turn his head to the side to avoid breaking his nose, but the impact was enough to jar him. He heard a few of the students laugh at his predicament, and as he angrily got up, he realized his shoelaces were tied together.
Severus scanned the students for Potter, and sure enough, the bastard had a smirk on his face, though no one else could see it due to where he was. As they made eye contact, Potter's smirk vanished, most likely to feign innocence. Just like the first time around.
Severus crouched down, undoing the knot with his hands as he tied his shoes properly, only to stand back up and address Potter. "You're not fooling anyone, Potter! I know it was you!"
"Nonsense," Potter replied. All eyes had turned to him, but now the toerag was feigning outrage.
"Leave him alone, Snape," McKinnon bit back. "I was with James the whole time. He didn't have time to do anything." Her mouth was curled slightly to hold back the laughter.
"What a crock of shite," Severus hissed, and he rapidly approached Potter and McKinnon-
"What's going on here?!" Professor Sprout had arrived, because of course she had, and was setting down a box of what looked to contain vials. "What's happened?"
"Snape's accusing Potter of tying his shoelaces," one student answered.
"James didn't do anything," McKinnon added.
"Of course, you'd side with James fucking Potter!" Severus bit back.
"Mr. Snape, I will not tolerate such vulgar language in my class!"
"Typical," Severus muttered under his breath.
"Would you care to repeat that, Mr.-"
"As a matter of fact, I would be happy to," Severus retorted. "It's typical of you to side with Potter, isn't it?"
"Ten points from Slytherin, and I think detention is in order." Professor Sprout didn't look too pleased.
Severus's fists were balled, and his hands were shaking with fury.
Professor Sprout continued, "You will wait outside the Greenhouse until class is finished, after which you will speak with me alone to discuss the details of your detention."
Without uttering another word, Severus left his belongings at his station and left the Greenhouse. As soon as he stepped outside, a sense of unease seeped into the pit of his stomach.
The feeling?
Yeah.
And you didn't feel it-
-in the Greenhouse, no.
Can you follow it?
I don't know where to go.
Pick a direction.
Severus began walking in a random direction, and he began to feel more at ease. Better.
What if it's important?
Why would it be?
Why else would we be having such feelings?
Severus wasn't sure how to respond to the question; he was so used to feeling what was happening, but he had never stopped to think about what triggered it in the first place. There were times when he was in imminent danger from the Marauders, and other times when he felt he was being watched. Although, there was also the time when he had sensed MacDonald coming up to the Owlery-
The second Severus thought about MacDonald, the uneasiness grew. He felt… a pull. He turned and started taking small steps to feel out where the pull was coming from.
What are you doing?
I think it's MacDonald.
How do you know?
MacDonald triggered this feeling in the past, and as soon as I thought about her again, it intensified. But now, there's a pulling sensation.
Follow it.
Mary I
WARNING: The following contains Mulciber.
"... I have a salve that could help-"
"Don't care," Snape said quickly. He stood to full height and passed her.
Mary almost turned around to stop him, but paused. If he was going to be this hostile, she should avoid provoking him. She didn't even know why she'd offered, but when she'd seen how bloodshot his eyes were, it made her wonder if he had even noticed. No, he had to have noticed; he wasn't blind.
Mary turned and walked away from the Greenhouse, her book in hand. She had a few hours before dinner, so it might be possible for her to finish her Care essay, and perhaps she could visit Myrtle after-
"-gonna go steal some sweets from a third-year, I think."
Mary's heart nearly leapt out of her chest as she frantically ran into one of the alcoves, finding a fairly good place to hide from the speaker. She quieted her breath as she heard the familiar footsteps echoing as they touched stone, growing louder and closer. Mulciber passed Mary, and for a moment, Mary thought he'd seen her. She felt herself curl up deeper into the alcove as Mulciber paused for a moment, standing perfectly still with what looked like confusion. Slowly, Mulciber walked backward, each step growing slower and louder as he drew closer to Mary. He finally stopped right next to her and tilted his head in her direction.
"Ah, there you are, Chocolate."
Mary wished she was a ghost; then, she could pass through the wall and away from him.
Mulciber turned so that he faced her and walked up to her, preventing her from passing by him without him grabbing her. "Herbology?"
Mary didn't dare break eye contact, nor did she dare not answer. She nodded shakily.
"Hmm, that explains the smell of dirt," Mulciber said, grinning. "So, I take it you're free for the rest of the day?"
Mary felt something come up her throat, but she swallowed, forcing it back down as she said quietly, "I was going to finish an essay for Care."
"Magical Creatures." Mulciber nodded. "I'm surprised Kettleburn has you writing essays. I never had to do that."
Mary began to calm a bit as she realized Mulciber was in a talkative mood. "He wants to make sure we understand what we're learning."
"Not fond of papers. I prefer hands-on work." Mulciber took a step closer, and Mary realized there was less than a foot between them.
She couldn't help but lower her gaze-
"Where are my eyes?"
Mary looked back up.
"Good," Mulciber said calmly. "Look me in the eyes, you get my eyes. Look at my shoes, you get my shoes. Look at my hands…." The sentence lingered as Mary felt her eyes well up. "... but you know this, yes?"
Mary nodded quickly, but her eyes betrayed her as the tears that had pooled trickled down.
"Oh dear, you're crying." Mulciber took out a handkerchief and brought it to Mary's eyes.
Out of pure revulsion, Mary swatted his hand away and slid down the wall she was leaning against, becoming as small as her body allowed.
Mulciber let out a sigh of frustration as he crouched down, forcing Mary to look him in the eye as he grabbed her chin with his free hand. "You're being very rude. Too rude."
As Mulciber put his handkerchief away, freeing his hand, Mary heard footsteps approaching from the direction of the Greenhouse. Mulciber's head turned slightly, and she could see some panic in his eyes. The older boy quickly straightened up and turned to see who it was, and Mary looked past him.
It was Snape.
Snape stopped and looked at the two, first at Mulciber and then at Mary. His face had reddened, and Mary could see the veins in his forehead bulging out.
"Ah, Snape!" Mulciber's tone immediately shifted to sounding almost… normal. "Haven't had the chance to talk since term started!"
"Mulciber." Snape said nothing else.
"What happened? Shouldn't you be in Herbology?"
"Nothing I can't handle." The intensity in Snape's eyes made Mary blush, and she noticed that Mulciber had taken a small step away from her.
"Right…. Well, I'll leave the Heir of Slytherin to his business, then." Mulciber walked out of the alcove and away, going wherever; Mary didn't care, just so long as it wasn't here.
As Mulciber left, Mary looked back at Snape; the boy's bloodshot eyes were directed at hers. "Why are you here, MacDonald?"
Mary almost forgot how to speak, and she said, "Oh… I was just…."
"Is Mulciber bothering you?"
Mary blinked. She wanted to say yes…. "It's nothing I can't handle."
Snape was silent for an uncomfortably long time before he answered. "Where were you headed? I'll walk you there."
Mary blinked twice, making sure she had heard correctly. "You'll walk me…?"
"Where?"
"Oh, I was… going back to the common room."
"Let's go." Without waiting, Snape began walking.
Mary hurried to her feet and followed after the older boy, walking just behind him so she could have some time to think about what was happening. Severus Snape, housemate and friend of Mulciber, nemesis of James Potter and all Gryffindors (save Lily), Heir of Slytherin, was walking her to the Gryffindor Tower….
"Snape?"
"MacDonald."
"Do… do you want some of that salve?"
"No."
"Why?"
Snape stopped in his tracks, and Mary accidentally bumped into his back.
"... what?" Snape's voice had a hint of uncertainty to it.
Mary took the opportunity to push. She was a Gryffindor, damn it! "Why don't you want the salve?"
A silence crept between them. "... I can handle it by myself."
"But you don't want to," Mary replied. She could feel her face heat up at the realization that she was talking back to Snape.
Snape turned around slowly. "Come again?"
"... y-you don't want to, do you?" Mary refused to break eye contact. Unlike Mulciber, she knew Snape wasn't the type to hurt her, despite how nasty he could be.
"And what, pray tell, gives you that idea?" Snape's words were uncharacteristically slow and precise.
Mary swallowed before answering. "Your eyes have looked the same for about a week."
"Oh, keeping tabs on how pretty my eyes are, is that it?" Snape sneered.
Mary felt the blush intensify. "N- It's hard not to notice!"
"Oh, I get it now. What, Cattermole's gone for about a year, so you decide to fawn over another upperclassman?" Snape's words cut deep. "Seems someone's a bit lonely."
Mary broke eye contact and looked down at Snape's shoes before her eyes wandered to his hands….
"You're bleeding!"
That seemed to catch Snape off guard. "What?"
"Your hands!"
Snape raised his hands a bit and opened them; Mary could see that his fingernails had dug into his palms, and small red crescents had formed just above the center of his palm. Small drops of blood had trickled down to his knuckles and abruptly stopped, having dripped onto the stone floor.
"... oh, for fuck's sake," Snape muttered. There was something in his voice, a quietness, that made him sound… smaller….
"I-I have something-"
"Believe it or not, MacDonald, I don't want your help."
Mary looked Snape in the eye and said, "Well, tough shite." Snape seemed to be nonplussed at Mary's words, giving Mary enough time to pull out a salve from her bag. "Here; it's for-"
"Small cuts, I know." Snape, with great reluctance, took the salve and began applying it. The bleeding slowly came to a halt, and the flesh began to mend back together, eventually forming silver scars in place of red.
"There," Mary said shakily, realizing she'd all but forced Snape into accepting the salve. She pushed her luck and pulled out the Wear-and-Tear. "Now, your eyes."
Snape returned his gaze to Mary, and the eye contact only broke when she presented him with the second salve. He took it and applied a small amount to his eyelids, and while it took a while, his eyes went from bloodshot to a clean white. He handed it back to her without a word.
"Better," Mary said.
Snape's eyes were on the stone floor for a moment, before he said, "Let's continue." He turned and continued walking, and Mary struggled to keep pace. His stride was slightly off-balance, but Mary didn't dare make any more comments about him.
Eventually, they arrived outside the Gryffindor Tower, and Mary spoke the password. She turned to Snape and said, "Thank-"
Snape had already started walking away and disappearing down one of the corridors.
Mary stood there for a moment, long enough for the Fat Lady to clear her throat obnoxiously.
"Sorry," Mary said sheepishly, and she hurried in.
Severus VII
Severus spent the remainder of the two hours in his room, catching up on his essays. He couldn't give less of a damn that he had disobeyed Sprout; he wasn't missing a golden opportunity to open up his schedule. Ten minutes before Herbology class was done, he had managed to complete his Care essay, as well as his Potions essay and a portion of Transfiguration.
During the process, he couldn't help but think about MacDonald…. He understood fully-well that she had been trying to repay him for getting Mulciber to leave and walking her back, but a simple word of thanks would've been enough.
Severus returned just as class was dismissed, and he forced himself not to look at Potter or McKinnon; no doubt they would be smirking. As the last of the students left, Professor Sprout came out with a stern look on her face.
"Mr. Snape," Professor Sprout began. "You left."
"No sane person would stand outside for two hours without getting something done," Severus shot back.
"Would you like another detention, Mr. Snape?"
Severus didn't respond, instead choosing to bite his tongue to stop himself from digging his grave deeper.
Sprout's look softened slightly, and she said, "Professor McGonagall has had similar issues with you. We've spoken at length about your behavior, and we have informed Professor Slughorn. Being the headmaster's ward is no excuse."
"Wasn't looking for excuses," Severus replied coolly.
"What exactly are you hoping to accomplish?"
Typical. "Apparently, nothing."
"In that case, you will be serving detention with me for the next two hours. I need you to help me clean up the Greenhouse a bit, and then we'll be writing lines to reflect on your behavior."
"Certainly."
Lily VI
He wasn't in his room.
You're certain?
He always opens when I come by.
Perhaps he wasn't interested?
Nonsense.
You should go to dinner.
I'm not hungry.
Because of Severus?
Lily?
Lily, dinner started an hour ago. You need to eat.
I'll eat when I'm hungry.
Before Tom could reply, Lily shut the diary and set the quill down. Today wasn't as good as she had thought it would be. When Lily had been left waiting outside Severus's room, she'd had time to think of all the possible reasons he wouldn't respond, and she'd forced herself to think about anything that could have possibly happened earlier on. They'd seen each other in Charms class, but Severus had barely said a word to her when they were all dismissed.
As Lily was thinking, Marlene entered the room. "Hey, Lily."
"Hey, Marley."
"What's wrong?"
Lily glanced over at Marlene before responding. "I think something's wrong with Severus."
"I believe you."
"Don't start-"
"No, I'm serious. He tried to attack James in Herbology."
Lily's head jerked around to fully face Marlene. "He what?!"
"Someone tied his shoelaces together, and he assumed it was James."
"... was it James?"
"Wha- no! I was next to him damn near the whole time. There's no way he could've done it."
"Not even with a wand?"
"It was never out."
"What, are you saying Severus tied his own shoelaces, tripped himself, and then tried to pin it on James?"
"Well, he's a Slytherin-"
"Marlene McKinnon, I've known Severus for seven years! He would never, under any circumstance, make himself look like a victim! And I am sick of you saying otherwise!"
Marlene didn't respond immediately, but she nodded. "Alright. I have my reservations, but let's say you're right. Who else would have done it?"
"I don't know," Lily admitted. "Then again, most people don't like Severus."
"So it could've been anyone."
"But not James, right?"
"Not James."
"And what about you?"
"Me?!"
"Did you-"
"Of course, I didn't!" Marlene walked over to where Lily was sitting and sat down on her bed. "I told you I was going to try, didn't I? Do you think I'm a liar?"
Lily held her tongue, but she shook her head.
"Good. In any case, Sprout wanted to see Snape after class for detention."
"Do you think that's where he is?"
"Probably. I didn't see Sprout at dinner, either."
Lily stood and flattened out her skirt. "Thanks, Marley!"
"You're going to see him?"
"Obviously." Before Marlene could respond, Lily was out the door and on her way to Severus and Professor Sprout.
Lily made it to the fourth floor when she spotted Severus walking in the direction of his room.
"Severus!"
Severus stopped and turned around, facing Lily as she approached him. His bloodshot eyes had cleared up, making him look better than he had for the past week.
"Lily," Severus replied. "Sorry, I was occupied-"
"You had detention."
Severus didn't respond.
"Marley told me."
"Did she tell you Potter was the one-"
"I thought so too," Lily answered, "but Marley said he never pulled out his wand."
"She would say that, wouldn't she?"
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Are you calling her a liar?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. I am calling her a liar."
Lily was taken aback. "Excuse me-"
"You heard me."
"Well, did you see Potter's wand?"
"He was behind everyone else, but I know it was him. I saw him and McKinnon smirking when I fell. I know it was Potter. And if it wasn't him, it was her."
Lily let out an exasperated sigh at what Severus was saying. "You're being paranoid-"
"Who else would've done something like that?!"
"Oh, I don't know, how about the myriad of people in school who don't like you?"
A long silence followed, and Lily could see the intensity in Severus's eyes begin to dwindle and dull. It took her only a moment to realize what she had said, but she wasn't about to back down from Severus's accusations regarding James and Marley.
"Severus," Lily began again, this time forcing herself to remain level-headed. "I can guarantee you that James and Marley have nothing to do with what happened earlier today."
Severus broke eye contact and stared off into nothing, and he remained silent.
"If you have something to say," Lily said, "say it."
Severus met Lily's eyes once more, and for a moment, Lily thought he would respond. Instead, he turned and left.
Severus VIII
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, Severus." Dumbledore helped himself to another custard tart.
Of course not. What were we thinking, coming to Albus Dumbledore for help?
"Your snark is most unwelcome, professor."
"Then can you at least explain why?" Severus had known deep down that Dumbledore wouldn't side with him when it came to Potter, but he had hoped, after all the old man had learned, that he would have changed.
"Which part should I begin with?"
"Let's start with Potter's map, then."
"Well, to confiscate the map, I would need to have a reason to know of its existence outside of the word of a man from the future. If I were to act solely on your word, it would raise questions as to how I knew of the map's existence."
"But I've seen them use it!"
"In which case, there may be a question of my biases."
"What?!"
"I'm your legal guardian, Severus. Naturally, I must remain impartial-"
"By not believing me when I'm telling you the truth?!"
"Make no mistake; I fully believe you. But we must wait for a second witness, someone who is unbiased. As it has the appearance of blank parchment, it would be easy to hide."
"And I imagine you'll say the same thing about the cloak?"
"I would, yes."
Severus controlled his breathing for a moment. It was bad enough that Dumbledore favored Potter before Professor Snape had shown up, but knowing that Dumbledore wasn't going to act on account of Severus's connection to the old man was a new form of frustration.
Dumbledore finished his custard tart and asked, "How is your recovery?"
Severus looked the old man in the eye. "Well, aside from being targeted yet again, I'm doing rather well. I'm glad you've decided to ask after three weeks."
"I must apologize for that," Dumbledore said. "I was busy handling your assets-"
"My assets?"
"Allow me to finish." Dumbledore waited for silence to fill the air before he continued. "The Snape vault has been financially linked to my own. In the event of my death, you will stand to inherit, after the contents of my will have been fulfilled."
Severus sat still, looking away for a moment to process this. "You're… leaving me your vault?"
"Well, you will receive a portion of the contents within. The vault itself would pass to my brother, as it's our family vault." Before Severus could respond, Dumbledore continued, "In any event, the amount of paperwork at Gringotts to sort this all out has left me rather fatigued. So, if I haven't been as concerned for your wellbeing for this past month, that would be my reason."
"I see."
"In addition, I have something for you." Dumbledore took out a coin purse and handed it to Severus, who took it hesitantly. "This coin purse is linked to your vault, and it will allow you to procure up to your monthly allowance. The purse will only respond to your touch, so if someone were to steal it, your assets would remain secure."
Severus nodded. "Well… I suppose it's good we're ending the evening on a high note."
"Yes. And I've been meaning to ask you about the Hallowe'en party you're helping Miss Evans plan."
"She wants a costume party."
"And what will you be dressing as?"
"A Hogwarts student."
Dumbledore smirked under his annoyingly grey-white beard as he said, "Well, you would certainly pass for one. But perhaps you should consider embracing the Muggle spirit of it?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Well, it may do well to improve your relationship-"
"Stop." Severus held up a hand. "I know what you're going to say."
"I believe you."
"... I don't want to go to the party."
"I was led to believe that members of the Slug Club were required to attend."
"They are; I'll fake being sick."
"Severus, I can't say I approve of you lying to Miss Evans in such a way."
"I could skip my evening potion and have another night terror to sell it-"
"Severus." Dumbledore's voice was stern, and Severus felt himself sink into his chair at the sudden change in demeanor. "It would be most unkind to her not to attend, and it would be unloving of you to lie to her."
And there it was. Using Severus's love for Lily against him, guilting him into doing something he didn't want to do. How very Dumbledore of him. Severus didn't respond to what Dumbledore had said, but he knew what Dumbledore wanted him to say. And Dumbledore probably knew that Severus knew.
"What do you suggest?" Severus gave up. If Dumbledore was going to continue controlling his life, he might as well lean into it.
"Well, I think you would pass as a rather good Dracula…."
The evening finished with Severus returning to his room and lying down on the bed, without removing his clothes. Lily's reaction to what had happened was enough to tell Severus what he needed to know: she didn't believe him. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with, and it was something that had been a source of much of his frustration throughout the years. There were many times where Lily would express her disapproval, but it was usually tolerable knowing that she also disapproved of Potter. Even when their friendship had ended, she at least was still hostile to the arrogant toerag.
But this year was different. Potter's 'clean slate' was starting to win Lily over, somehow even faster than it had in Professor Snape's life. Unless… she was already interested in Potter, and the professor simply hadn't noticed. It was possible, but if that was the case, it made everything worse. The idea that Lily could possibly move on to Potter so quickly after the end made Severus feel sick. It wasn't possible.
But it would explain the smile….
No. Severus needed some to step away and cool off. There was no doubt in his mind that Potter would rile him up when the opportunity presented itself, and if he let it get out of hand, he would explode again. For now, he just needed to wait and let things settle.
Lily VII
Thursday, 30 September 1976
Outside of planning the party, Lily and Severus hadn't spoken for the past week, and Lily was starting to grow irritated with him. Tom was too lenient in his prediction of Severus. Whenever Lily talked about James, Severus didn't just shut down or become hostile; he did both. It was no different than how he had always been leading up to the dissolution of their friendship, when Severus had officially chosen Mulciber and his Death Eater friends over her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Tom might be right; it might not be worth trying to rebuild what she and Severus once had. If he was too jealous to accept whom she spent time with, it was his problem, not hers.
Lily glanced back at Severus during Runes, and she could see his writing was much faster than it had been the first time. She returned to her own work, which appeared to be some sort of marriage ritual in Futhorc.
As class ended, Lily handed in her parchment and went to gather her belongings. As she finished, a shadow crept over her desk. She turned to find Severus standing there awkwardly.
"... about this past week…." Severus started.
"Don't," Lily said curtly.
"I-"
"Severus, we've barely spoken-"
"Then let me speak now."
Lily stopped and held her tongue.
"I was… my behavior last week was… uncalled for." Severus's eyes bored right into Lily's. "I can't say that I'm sorry for accusing Potter-"
"Naturally."
"-but that doesn't mean I should lash out. And believe me, I'm fully aware of my temper."
"So, you'll behave better?"
"... I can't promise that."
Lily crossed her arms again. "And what exactly can you promise?"
"If I find myself in a similar state of mind, I believe the best thing I can do is walk away."
"Oh, so running from the problem again?" Lily regretted her choice of words as she saw Severus's demeanor change into something darker, more detached.
"... would you prefer to have a fight?"
"Wouldn't you?" Lily had only just realized she'd taken a step backward.
"Believe it or not, I hate fighting with you." Severus's voice was quiet. "So the best option for me is to avoid reaching that point."
Lily took a moment to study Severus. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, no doubt from staying up late in revision and essays, and there were the beginnings of dark circles forming. His skin was slightly paler than usual as well, which made sense considering how much time he spent indoors, even compared to previous years. He had also grown a bit thinner since the start of term, although he wasn't even close to being as thin as he had been in fifth year.
"Fine," Lily said. "If you need time to cool off, do so."
Severus nodded. "I will."
Lily and Severus stood in silence for a moment before Lily said, "Well, I'm going to go."
"Right, I should go too." Severus nodded again and gathered his belongings before he left.
Lily left soon after and thought about what they had just talked about. James was definitely Severus's sore spot, which was no surprise; what did surprise Lily was hearing that Severus would rather isolate himself for a time rather than fighting with her. If he was willing to distance himself from her to gather himself….
Lily made her way back to the dorm, setting her things down before opening the diary and writing to Tom.
You know how you were right?
As I always am, yes.
Ha.
Go on.
Well, I talked to Severus about how he'd been avoiding me outside of party-planning.
What did he say?
He doesn't want to fight me.
He sounds like a coward.
He used to be more confrontational when it came to James, but I don't know what to make of him now.
Maybe, he wants you to think he's changing?
Would he do that?
As the resident Slytherin, yes, I think it's possible.
I don't know about that.
Think of it this way: he's lost your trust and friendship, and he's expressed his willingness to change. But it's only been about four months since he called you that word; how much can he change in four months?
If James is willing to change-
James and Severus are not the same person, and if they are, then you ought not to trust James either.
You're being paranoid.
When it comes to looking out for my friend's wellbeing, I most certainly am.
Lily stared down at the page, her eyes slightly widened at Tom's words.
We're friends?
Am I overstepping?
No, I'm just surprised.
I'm confused; are we friends or not friends?
Lily?
Sorry, I'm thinking about it.
Take your time.
Not too long, I'm sitting on the edge of my proverbial seat.
I think we
Yes?
We might be friends.
Excellent! I'd suggest celebrating with a butterbeer, but I don't have a mouth.
I could pour some on the pages?
That's tantamount to pouring a drink on someone's head.
Which part of the diary is your head?
…I haven't thought about that, actually. Maybe the front cover?
What would I be writing on now, then?
My tongue, probably.
Let me flip to a random page and see what part of you it is.
Lily turned to a page near the back and continued writing.
What's this?
…Miss Evans, the least you could do is buy me a drink, first.
Lily felt her face redden as she pulled her hand back, and she was struck with a fit of giggling. She regained her sense of control, dabbing tears from her eyes, before continuing.
I take it that was a fairly compromising part of you?
Let's put it this way; had you gone any further, you'd have had to wear rubber gloves.
Sorry.
Was it good for you, at least?
Lily covered her mouth to stifle her laugh.
I didn't realize you had that sort of humor.
My talents are endless.
You are the most humble man I've ever met.
Naturally.
Tom?
Yes?
Are you alive in the real world?
Am I not real?
Well, you're just a diary.
Lily waited for Tom's response, but the words remained on the page, unchanging. Her mirth slowly began to disappear as she grew worried by the stillness that had come between them, and she started writing again.
Tom?
Yes, Lily?
Did I say something wrong?
No, you just
Tom?
Yes?
You stopped mid-sentence. What's wrong?
Is it wrong that
Yes?
Is it wrong that I want to be real?
Lily froze, her hand beginning to quiver. She knew magical objects had their own sort of life, but they'd never expressed what Tom was currently expressing.
What do you mean?
Nothing.
No, Tom, I'm listening. I'm here. Tell me.
I know that I'm just a diary. I know this; logically, it's true. But every time I think that I'm somehow not the real Tom Riddle
Yes?
It disturbs me.
Because you think you're not your own person?
Yes…. I feel like a cheap copy. I know I shouldn't have these thoughts, and I'm aware that even expressing them might disturb you. But it doesn't change the fact that
Yes?
I've never seen color or heard music, nor have I experienced the scent and taste of food. The most I've ever known is the touch of another.
But you want more.
I want to know what it's like to live.
Lily?
I'm sorry, I
I understand.
I'll talk to you later.
Very well.
Lily shut the diary and set the quill down as she shakily stood from her chair and sat down again on the bed. She knew it was unnatural for a magical object to have these feelings, but at the same time, she'd been treating the diary as though it was a person. And parsing it out in her head made her even more confused; should she continue writing in the diary, or should she get rid of it?
"Lily?"
Lily turned her head to see Mary standing in the doorway. "Oh, hi Mary."
"Are you alright? You look a bit off."
"I feel fine," Lily lied. "I was just thinking about the party."
"Are you stressed?"
"A bit."
"Well, it's good you have other people in the Slug Club helping you."
"It helps." Lily paused. "Did you need something?"
"No, I was just…."
"What is it?"
"Is something wrong between you and Snape?"
Lily almost didn't expect Mary to ask that question. "W-why do you ask?"
"He just seems more put out."
"Put- wait, how do you know that? He barely leaves his room."
"He has Herbology right after me."
"Oh, right. It's James-related. Why do you ask?"
"Well," Mary began nervously, "I was just…. You know how his mum used to captain the Gobstones Team here at Hogwarts?"
"She did?" Lily genuinely had never heard about it.
"Yeah, it was in the paper," Mary said. "The Prophet published a piece on her during her time at Hogwarts as a way to remember her."
"Oh…. I never read that."
"Anyway, I thought… I was thinking that Snape might want to… well, since his mum was in the Gobstones Club…."
Lily's eyes widened as she realized what Mary was doing. "You want to invite him to the Club?"
"... pretty much, yeah," Mary quickly replied, averting her eyes.
"... this isn't another fancy, is it?"
"What?! Ew, God no!" Lily almost burst out laughing at Mary's reaction. "I just… wanted to thank him."
"Thank him?"
"Last week, he walked me back to the common room."
Lily furrowed her brow. "Why would he do that?"
"Well… I was being bothered by Mulciber, and-"
"What did he do?!"
"N-nothing! Snape showed up soon after Mulciber did and got him to leave."
Lily took a moment to process what Mary had said. "Severus… got him to leave?"
"Yeah. And then he walked me to the common room. Anyway, I was wondering if you think I should."
Lily knew Severus was busy with his essays and alchemy, not to mention assisting in organizing the party. But once the party was done with, he would have more free time. It would probably be good for him to befriend new people, and Mary was a good starting point. Although, he wasn't fond of people in general, which might make things more complicated….
"Would he be meeting the rest of the Club?"
"Yeah, why?"
"It might not be a good idea; Severus isn't a very social person."
"Oh… then what if it was just me, then?"
"You'd be fine meeting with him alone?" Lily couldn't help but raise her eyebrows.
"I think so," Mary said, nodding. "When do you think a good time would be?"
"I'll ask him tonight," Lily answered. "We're working on some of the decorations after dinner."
"Okay." Mary smiled as she said, "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
As Mary left, Lily was left to process what was happening. Severus had promised not to associate with his Slytherin friends, but she hadn't expected him to protect Mary from whatever Mulciber had planned, and this wasn't even considering the fact that Severus had walked Mary to the common room, as though he was trying to keep her safe. Would Severus do something like that? It was unlikely, surely, but was it even possible?
Lily was absolutely sure something had happened over the summer- no. No, something had happened just before the summer holiday, but the new term had brought a different Severus. This was someone Lily didn't recognize, and she wasn't sure if that was good or bad….
Lily took a moment to clear her head and start over. Severus had helped Mary. Fine. This wasn't normal, but there always had to be a first time for every normality. Maybe this was a one-time thing, or maybe this would become… normal. No, it still felt weird.
There was only one way to go about it: talking to Severus tonight, while working on the decorations.
Severus IX
History of Magic proved to be slightly more interesting, but Severus was going to miss wandlore. Woods and cores were no different to ingredients for a potion, each having particular properties with specific results when combined. Handing in his essay on his own wand's composition and properties would have felt satisfying if not for the fact that Professor Binns was grading it. How the ghost managed it was beyond him.
Stepping out of his room after revision, essays, and a quick dinner, Severus made his way to the Great Hall, where Lily and other members of the Slug Club were working on the party decorations. Why people were preparing this early, he would never know, apart from the fact that Lily was the one planning it…. Actually, that explained everything. She loved Slughorn's parties, as dull as they were, and the idea of planning something like this must've been a dream come true for her.
Severus arrived to find Creevey and Cresswell arguing over… well honestly, he didn't care at all, but this was for Lily. He walked up to them, hands in his pockets, and took a peek. It appeared to be some sort of banner, or at least the beginnings of one, and they were trying to decide between singing jack o'lanterns and swarming night creatures.
"Everyone loves pumpkins," Creevey argued.
"Yes, but we've got plenty of pumpkins," Cresswell replied. "We need something spooky!"
"But the pumpkins give it a theme!"
"Where's your Hallowe'en spirit?" Cresswell turned and blanched as he saw Severus approach. "Ah. Snape. Hello."
"Cresswell. Creevey." Severus glanced between the two. "So… banners, is it?"
"Y-yeah," Creevey said. "Pumpkins or night creatures?"
Severus looked at the banner and visualized what it would look like before surveying the Great Hall. "How many banners did you manage?"
"Six in total," Creevey said.
"I thought we were going for eight?"
"Eight was just a bit too much," Cresswell replied. "Evans changed it last minute."
"Right…." Severus drew his attention from the banner and said, "My vote's with Cresswell."
"And mine's with Creevey," Lily said as she strode over, sleeves rolled up and hair tied back. "So, we have a tie."
"Flip a coin," Severus replied. "Anyway, where am I needed?"
"Over here, if you would." Severus turned to find Regulus Black tracing his wand through folded paper, before unfolding it and presenting a long line of what appeared to be bats.
"Black," Lily sighed.
"Evans?"
"The bats don't belong on orange paper."
"We seem to have run out of black." Regulus swished his wand, and the color changed into a coal-black. "There. Nothing magic can't solve, yes?"
"Indeed." There was a coldness to Lily's voice before she turned back to Severus. "Well, you go ahead and help Black."
Severus nodded and went over to sit with Regulus, taking out his own wand….
"Hesitation, Snape? Not very like you."
"Nonsense." Severus began by levitating the folded paper, albeit with some difficulty, before focusing his eye on where he wanted to cut. "Diffindo."
The paper burst into confetti, spraying over the two boys.
"... Snape, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but perhaps confetti might be a bit much?"
"Sorry."
"No matter-"
"Severus!" Lily had stormed over to them. "What are you doing?!"
Severus sighed as he turned to face her. "I… miscalculated."
"Miscalculated?!" Lily swished her wand, and the confetti reformed back into its former shape.
Severus looked back at the paper before asking, "If you could fix it that quickly, why are you jumping down my throat?"
"Because with the way you're using the Severing Charm, you could have easily hurt yourself!"
"Now, Evans," Regulus said, gesturing to Severus. "It was a simple miscalculation. Besides, I have no doubt that Snape just needs to warm up a bit."
Lily looked between Severus and Regulus before saying to the former, "Use scissors."
"But-"
"No. You're not blowing yourself up over decorations."
"For fuck's sake," Severus grumbled, putting his wand up his sleeve before picking up the scissors.
"And mind your language," Lily said. She turned and was about to leave before turning back and saying, "I'll walk you back to your room after we're done for the night."
As Lily left, Severus began eyeballing the bat designs before cutting into the paper.
"How is your recovery?" Regulus asked.
"I've improved significantly," Severus replied. "That being said, my wandwork is lacking."
"Indeed." Severus didn't like Regulus's tone. "Well, no one's perfect. Just remember to eat well and get a bit more sun, yes?"
"... yes." Severus kept glancing at Regulus as the two of them worked on the decorations, eventually moving on to the pumpkins.
Lily had thought carving the pumpkins and preserving them with a Stasis Charm would save them time later on, which Severus had to admit was a good idea, but Regulus had a different opinion on the matter.
"Would it not be simpler to carve the pumpkins one week prior to the party?"
"I had thought that at first," Lily replied, his voice threatening to turn hostile. "But I considered that the schoolwork would become more intensive as the year progressed. Sooner would be better than later."
"Evans is right," Creevey said. "With you studying for your O.W.L.s and us doing advanced classes, now is better than later."
"Still wish we had a Pumpkin-Carving Charm," Cresswell muttered, to which Lily and Creevey muttered in agreement.
The Slug Club spent the remainder of the evening carving pumpkins, mostly by hand to avoid exploding the pumpkins, or 'Snaping' them, as Cresswell put it. Severus didn't like Cresswell, and now regretted siding with him on the banner; he was considering stealing a Time-Turner to undo his decision, but that would create a time paradox, or whatever the hell that was.
By the end, about half the pumpkins were carved, and the members of the Slug Club left for their dorms, leaving Severus alone with Lily as she began placing the pumpkins in Stasis Charms and packing them away.
"You could help, you know," Lily said.
"I wouldn't want to risk Snaping them," Severus sneered.
"Oh hush, it's a Stasis Charm."
Severus pulled out his wand and cast the charm, fortunately with no explosions.
"See? You can do it." Lily gave him a small smile.
Severus didn't reply. He was trying to figure out what Lily wanted from him, because he couldn't imagine she'd ask him to stay behind without reason. Before he could say anything, Lily spoke.
"Mary wants to invite you to play Gobstones."
Of all the sentences Severus could imagine Lily saying, that was one that had never entered his mind. He turned to face her, only to find she was facing away, focusing on packing up. "... I'm sorry, I think I misheard you."
"Mary MacDonald, third-year Gryffindor, wants to invite you to play Gobstones with her."
"Ah. Lily?"
"Yes?"
"Why?"
Lily turned to face Severus as she replied. "She wants to thank you for standing up to Mulciber and walking her back-"
"I have to stop you right there," Severus cut in. "I didn't stand up to Mulciber. I was walking by and saw him and MacDonald, and Mulciber turned to greet me before leaving." Severus didn't want to lie, but Lily would never believe he had sensed Mary and had followed that instinct. She'd think he'd gone mad.
"And why did you walk Mary back to the common room?"
Severus had hoped Lily wouldn't ask that question, but he'd been prepared. He replied, "Apparently, my eyes were bloodshot, and she offered me a salve for it."
Lily's look of confusion made Severus himself confused. "Why would she have a salve-"
"You're asking me as if I know," Severus answered dismissively. "I barely know her, let alone her habits. And even after you've explained why she'd invite me, it still doesn't make sense."
"Well, there was one other reason…." Lily's sentence trailed off with uncertainty.
"That being?"
"Well, your mum was in the Gobstones Club and on the school team."
Severus froze. "... so she thinks of inviting me to play Gobstones…." Severus hadn't known much of his mother's time at Hogwarts, aside from being Sorted into Slytherin and graduating in '47. The only time she ever spoke of her education was when she told Severus he was a wizard and that he would attend the same school as her.
Severus soon realized his moment of silence was affecting Lily when the latter said, "I can tell her that you don't feel comfortable with the invitation."
"No, it's fine," Severus said, which seemed to surprise Lily. "I'm willing to meet her for a game…."
"What is it?"
"... how many people would be there?"
"Possibly a few? I'll ask her."
Severus was silent as he continued packing up, feeling Lily's eyes on him as they both finished.
The two made their way from the Great Hall to Severus's room, and Severus opened the door. He turned to face Lily and said, "I'll see you in class tomorrow."
"You too," Lily said. "Severus?"
"Yes?"
"You should rest more."
Severus furrowed his brow. "That might be asking a bit much."
"Asking you to do less is asking more of you?"
"You would be surprised." As Lily didn't respond, Severus said, "Good night, Lily."
"Night, Severus." Lily turned and walked down the corridor as Severus shut the door.
Now then, we should catch up on our sleep-
Wait.
A feeling?
Something's in the room.
Who?
I don't-
Suddenly, a noxious gas flooded the room, and Severus covered his nose and mouth to stop from gagging. He swept his wand in the air to dissipate the odor, but it remained pungent. He rushed into the bathroom to escape the smell.
Fucking dungbombs!
Potter, no doubt.
But how-
- did it get in our room? That remains to be seen.
Could they have rolled it under the door?
No, the gap is too small.
Well, it got in somehow….
What?
You said Pettigrew can transform into a rat.
… he could fit under the door-
-return to human form-
-plant the bomb-
-and transform and escape-
-with no effort.
… this is war.
I concur, but as to how we- are you serious?
You know what I'm thinking, then?
Of course, I do!
I'm doing it, with or without your permission.
… did you honestly think I was going to side against you?
Lily VIII
Tom
TOM
What is it?
I saw something
Explain.
Someone or something was standing over my bed
What did it look like?
It was a shadow of
Yes?
It looked like a man
Did anyone else see it?
No, it disappeared after I screamed and turned on the lights
Are you sure it wasn't a nightmare?
Yes
Tom
Tom why aren't you responding
I need you to calm down for a moment. Collect yourself and control your breathing.
Okay
Better?
Better.
Good.
Lily?
Yes?
I… I have a confession to make.
What is it?
I need you to promise me that you won't think of me differently.
Tom you're scaring me
I'm sorry; I don't mean to.
What do you want to tell me?
The shadowy man you saw…. I think you saw
What?
Me.
Lily?
Lily, I swear I would never hurt you.
Lily?
Tom what were you doing
I wasn't doing anything!
YOU WERE STANDING OVER ME
I had no control over it; I was just… there!
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
I was looking at you!
WHY
BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD SIGHT BEFORE!
Lily?
I'm sorry, Tom.
For what?
I don't know if I can keep talking to you.
Lily, I would never hurt my only friend!
You were standing over my bed and watching me sleep.
And as I've said, because I have never until now had vision, let alone the ability to manifest. This is new to me as much as it is to you.
Lily, I swear, I will never hurt you. And if I do, throw me away.
I'm sorry I overreacted.
Considering the circumstances, I think your reaction is warranted.
What's it like?
To see?
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
What did you enjoy the most?
There was a girl…. She was beautiful.
Where were you standing in relation to the girl?
Right beside her bed.
Tom, that was me.
It was?
Yeah.
Lily, I was right.
About what?
You're absolutely stunning. If I had a heart, it would stop.
Well, it almost sounds like you fancy me.
Tom?
I think I might.
Ha ha.
I'm not joking. I can't even describe how you look, and yet I'm drawn to you.
A bit superficial.
We've been writing to each other for about a month. I don't think my view of you is as superficial as you may think.
What about me do you like the most?
Your eyes.
Really?
For the brief moment that you were awake, I saw the color.
Green.
Tom?
I'm still thinking about it.
Well, you can think about it while I sleep. And don't pop out without my permission.
I might have trouble with that. Not so much control.
Well, you can try.
I'll try, then.
Good night, Tom.
Good night, Lily.
Severus X
Friday, 8 October 1976
The week following Mary's invitation to play Gobstones had its own trials and tribulations. Knowing that it was Pettigrew that was responsible for a majority of the pranks being pulled on Severus made the latter feel at ease; he was justified in how he chose to respond. However, an open confrontation would be fruitless, and Lily would no doubt take issue with it; his prediction was that she would call him childish and petty, as though retaliating against bullying was somehow unreasonable. No, Severus had a plan, and he knew it would work.
Aside from scheming, last Friday had gone slightly better than other Fridays, aside of course from Divination, which he still hated. It was bad enough that he had to take the class, but it was made worse knowing that he was the top student in it, all for making half-assed predictions.
Monday had gone well, although Defense was a bit lackluster. Severus found that, while his wandwork was improving, it was the same repetitive lesson as last week. He'd only escaped his boredom with his lesson in alchemy, continuing the study of earth but delving into its relation with spirits; ghosts could interact with air, fire, and water, and yet not earth, and so Severus was assigned to write an essay on this phenomenon. After the lesson, Severus had enjoyed brewing in silence beside Lily, and he had even caught Slughorn's eye; he was one step closer to accessing Slughorn's memories.
Tuesday was boring, aside from assisting with the party. Care had just finished with the lessons on glumbumbles, while Muggle Studies had transitioned from Muggle transportation to kitchen appliances, which Severus felt was a massive downgrade in terms of quality; he wasn't sure how, but he was somehow the top student in that class as well.
Wednesday was when MacDonald had spoken to Severus after the third-years had been dismissed; she had decided that the courtyard on Friday would be a 'fun' time and place for Gobstones. Perfect. Exposed for all the students to see Severus Snape playing fucking Gobstones with a third-year. The more he thought about the arrangement, the less he liked it, and the less he liked it, the more he dreaded it. The only thing that made it worse was the fact that it was Mary MacDonald, of all people.
Thursday was sad. Severus missed wandlore, and was less than pleased that History was moving on to the Uprising of Elfric the Eager. He didn't know who that was, but he sounded pointless. The only good element was that Elfric wasn't a goblin.
Severus found himself back in the present, having just finished up the practical portion of Transfiguration. Following his classmates, Severus packed his things and was about to leave before McGonagall stopped him.
"If you would stay behind, Mr. Snape."
Severus sighed internally. "Yes, professor."
As the class emptied out, McGonagall motioned for Severus to follow her to her desk. She sat down and transfigured a chair to appear across from her. Without needing to be told, Severus sat down.
"Now, Mr. Snape," McGonagall said. "I just wanted to congratulate you on your recovery."
Severus felt his jaw slack a bit, but he hid it well enough with his closed mouth. "... thank you, professor."
"Now, your behavior over the past month is rather alarming, to say the least."
Severus felt his brow furrow. Of course. "Right."
Unexpectedly, McGonagall's expression softened. "I of course realize that the loss of one's parents takes its toll-"
"I'm stopping you there, professor," Severus said.
"Mr. Snape-"
"Parents? Plural? Do you honestly think I would miss Tobias Snape?"
"I misspoke, then."
Severus wasn't sure how to respond to that. He had expected McGonagall to scold him for interrupting a professor. "So, not Tobias?"
"No, I was referring to Eileen. I knew her at school, you know."
Severus was somewhat surprised. "You did?"
"Yes. She would have been in her… sixth year when I was Sorted. She was in the Gobstones Club."
"You played Gobstones?"
"For a couple of years, yes. I moved on to chess and Quidditch as time went on. She was a quiet girl. You reminded me of her when you were Sorted, but I never made the connection until the article announcing her death."
Severus nodded. "Mr. Hagrid said he knew her as well, though not too well. Slytherin."
"Yes, I regret that I am in the same boat as Mr. Hagrid, in that regard."
"Professor, is there a reason you're bringing this up?"
"Does the conversation bother you?"
Severus shook his head, lying. "I'm a bit confused."
"I see. Well, I have considered your time here at Hogwarts in relation to your life at home."
"This isn't going to turn into pity, is it?"
"No, Mr. Snape, I'm not one to pity others."
Severus nodded. "Thank you."
McGonagall was quiet for a moment, and Severus tried to read what she was thinking; apparently, he wasn't as good at Legilimency as Professor Snape. McGonagall finally said, "That will be all, Mr. Snape."
Severus stood from the chair and nodded. "I'll see you next week, professor." He turned and left the classroom, making his way back to his room for essays and revision.
As Severus arrived, he checked the clock to see how long he had before he was to meet MacDonald. It was not too long after 11, so he would have less than an hour to arrive in the courtyard. Aside from the impending game, he felt some sense of relief. Retaliation against Pettigrew and the other Marauders wouldn't be as childish as besting them in wandwork or tricking them. No, it would be so much simpler than that.
Smiling to himself, Severus spent the next half-hour on his essays, his handwriting almost back to proper form and speed. With Professor Snape's recitation, he managed to complete the remainder of the essays he had owed over the summer, as well as almost catching up on his schoolwork. Now that his schedule had been opened up more, he could focus on making amends with Lily.
Severus left the room and made his way to the Clock Tower Courtyard. As he walked, he started running through every possible reason MacDonald could possibly want this. Did she fancy him- no, no, that was too far-fetched as far as possibilities went. Pity? No, the stated reasons for wanting to play Gobstones was more related to gratitude, which wasn't particularly bad. Gratitude might be the right starting point; if a game of Gobstones counted as repayment, which Severus was happy with, then it meant MacDonald would be out of his hair and he could focus on Slughorn. Gratitude… respect, possibly? Or perhaps security? Was she trying to befriend him so she would feel safe? Ironic, considering-
Severus stopped himself from completing the thought, and the familiar ache of guilt started weighing in his stomach. The incident involving Mulciber was something he'd never lived down, especially not after making the excuse to Lily that it was 'just a bit of fun'; he knew fully-well it was anything but funny, and yet…. If Lily or MacDonald ever found out about his involvement, there would be no room for forgiveness.
But did Lily deserve to be deceived?
No. As much as it pained Severus, he would have to confess at some point how he… was involved. And to what degree he was involved. He wasn't going to hide who he was, at least not concerning his past actions. And at some point, maybe he could reveal the nature of his connection to-
No.
Severus almost stopped mid-step. What?
She can never learn of us.
Why not?!
Do you have any idea how she would react if she discovered our secret?
You can't say you know!
I can and I do.
I doubt time travel and gestaltation would make her think less of us or afraid of us.
But I know how much you plan to reveal to her.
And?
If she sees how we treated our students, and especially her son, she will never forgive us.
… you don't know-
She refused an apology from us when we had inclinations towards the Death Eaters and their beliefs on blood status. Inclinations. How do you think she would react to a tangible attack on her family?
So we lie to her? We pretend to be someone we're not?
Professor Snape didn't respond to Severus's question.
Well?
… we prioritize her safety and reconcile with her-
- but only what she knows about?
… yes.
… no.
What?!
When the time comes, I'm telling her everything-
NO!
Suddenly, Severus felt his legs give way, and he fell on the stone floor, his knees slamming down hard. He grunted as he crumpled into a ball, cradling his legs as he sucked in air and shut out the pain. One month of recovery, and he'd been brought low by Professor Snape's-
What happened?
"What happened?!" Severus hissed. "I fell!"
Did I cause that?
"I don't know!" Severus brought himself to a kneeling position, placing his palms on the floor to gain his balance before he pushed off, returning to full height. I don't care what-
Stop. We can discuss this at a later date. What matters, as of this moment, is to be in agreement. As this is a heavily-weighted topic, I suggest we focus on the present.
We will discuss this later.
How much later, only time will tell.
Agreed. Severus collected himself, testing his motor skills before he continued down the corridor.
Severus eventually arrived in the courtyard to find MacDonald setting up the game. He could hear a second, familiar voice from behind the fountain, only just out of view. He approached reluctantly as MacDonald turned his way, causing him to falter.
"Hi, Snape."
"... MacDonald." Severus was caught slightly off-guard by MacDonald's demeanor; she seemed friendly enough, but her clear nervousness put him at ease. "I see you've-"
The third voice stepped out from behind the fountain, and Remus Lupin came into view. He looked peaky, most likely due to tonight's main event: the full moon. "Sorry," the werewolf said meekly. "I was just seeing what was going on. Mary said she'd invited you, and I wanted to see the proof."
"Distrustful, are we?" Severus sneered.
"Not at all," Lupin replied with an irritating calmness. "Anyway, I should be off."
"Bye, Remus," Mary said, smiling. "Say hi to your dad for me."
"Have fun," Lupin said. He eyed Severus briefly, and the two shared a look. It was enough for Severus to see through the niceties the boy put on and the pent-up aggression within. Lupin turned and walked back into the castle.
Severus turned to MacDonald, sitting down on the edge of the fountain as he watched the girl finish setting up the game.
"Do you know how to play?" MacDonald asked.
"Not much," Severus replied.
"Really?"
"MacDonald, why did you invite me?"
MacDonald froze in place at Severus's words. "... you don't want to-"
"We've barely socialized, you've expressed clear fear of me, and now, you're inviting me to play Gobstones. I'm missing something."
MacDonald looked up at Severus, and the uncertainty in her gaze caused a brief pang in him. She replied, "On the train, Lily said she wanted to give you a chance, and she got Marley to go along with her. When you saved me from Mulciber-"
"I have to stop you right there," Severus cut in. "I didn't save you from Mulciber. I was passing by, going to my room-"
"He left because of you," MacDonald said. "And you walked me back to the common room."
"And you repaid me with the salves, so why are you doing this?"
"I'm not repaying you right now," Mary said. "At first, I wanted to, but then I thought about that conversation on the train. If Marley's willing to put in the work… then I should as well."
Severus stared down at the girl with perplexion, meeting her eye to glean from her. There was that fear, that hesitancy, but just under that was what he could only guess was courage, which would explain her Sorting. But just under that, there was a warmth that he hadn't….
"I see," Severus said, pulling himself from Mary's eyes. "I'm sure Lily would appreciate your effort."
"Funny enough, Lily was almost against it."
Severus couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Well… I can't say I'm surprised, come to think of it."
"Why?"
"A third-year Gryffindor playing marbles with the Heir of Slytherin? Need I say more?"
"Well…." Mary's voice trailed off slightly before coming back on-course. "I wasn't really thinking about that…. I could just pretend you're a colorblind Gryffindor?"
Severus scoffed and said, "Insulting me before our first game of Gobstones, I see."
"Sorry," MacDonald said quickly. "I didn't know you were sensitive about that."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"W-well, I know a few people back home who've learned to live with it-"
"Wait." Severus stopped MacDonald. "What are you talking about?"
"... what are you talking about?"
"Being called a Gryffindor."
MacDonald's eyes widened, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that! Sorry, I thought you meant you were colorblind."
Severus took a moment to process what MacDonald had said. "... ah."
MacDonald's mouth twitched, as though she were about to laugh, before she said, "S-sorry about that."
That damn smile. Severus couldn't divorce that twitch from the incident by the Black Lake, and all it did was confirm what he'd dreaded: Lily had almost laughed at him. He knew Lily and Mary were different people, and that perhaps Lily's twitch hadn't been unkind, but the fact remained that there had been a twitch. Returning his mind to the present, he pushed the thought out of his head and said, "So… how do I play?"
Lily IX
"Are you sure you're alright?" Marlene asked.
Lily finished coughing, nodding as she said, "I'm fine, just choked on some saliva."
"Sounded a bit phlegmy. Maybe you should take a breather tomorrow night."
"I'll visit Madam Pomfrey and get something for it."
"I could go for you, if you'd like."
"If you would."
"I'll be right back."
As Marlene left the room, Lily quickly opened the diary and began writing.
Sorry I'm late.
Everything alright?
I have a bit of a cough. Marley's getting something for me.
How bad of a cough?
It's not too bad, but it comes and goes.
Any pain?
Not really; more like an irritation.
If it isn't gone after your medication, you should spend some time in the Hospital Wing for recovery.
I don't think it's that bad.
Don't risk your health.
Fine, but I'm going to the party.
Which one?
Both, hopefully.
As long as you're careful.
I'll try. Anyway, I need to figure out a costume for the party.
What are you considering?
My first thought was a pumpkin.
Is that a common costume?
For younger children, yes.
And that's what you're choosing?
It's one option.
What else?
A ghost.
How would you do that?
I would just wear a white bed sheet over my head.
Lily Evans, you are a witch, and you will use your magic accordingly.
Well, I can't exactly become transparent
What is it?
I just remembered the ghosts in the castle are coming. That might cause problems, scratch the ghost costume.
Indeed.
Well, I also have the idea of being a vampire, or maybe a bride of Dracula.
I don't think you fit the part.
Very supportive.
I'm not saying it's not an option.
Fine, can I continue?
Of course.
Joan of Arc.
… the French Muggle woman?
The French Muggle warrior woman, yes.
Suits you; choose that.
I don't have armor.
You have a wand, yes?
Yes.
And you have magic?
No, I'm the only Muggle-born Squib attending Hogwarts.
Goodness, the odds are against you.
Lily?
Sorry, Marley just came back with the medication.
Of course.
She likes the idea. Thanks!
You're welcome. Lily?
Yeah?
I'm sorry again about the night before last.
It was an accident.
I'm still adjusting to it.
Maybe you should practice appearing and disappearing when the dorm is empty?
I have; I'm better, but not by much.
Practice makes perfect.
Indeed. I'm curious.
About what?
You mentioned wanting to be the bride of Dracula….
And?
Is that because Severus is attending as Dracula?
Lily?
It was a coincidence.
Are you sure?
POSITIVE
No need to yell. What is James dressing as?
I don't know; he said it was Muggle-related, but he didn't specify.
Are you going to be working, or will you be enjoying the party?
A bit of both.
Who's doing what?
Severus and Cresswell are in charge of the drinks, Creevey is taking pictures, Black's the greeter (at least I hope he pulls through)
Lily?
Sorry, I had to sneeze.
Maybe you should lie down.
That might be a good idea. Not for too long, though.
Of course. Have a good rest.
You too.
… I don't sleep.
Force of habit.
Mary II
Snape wasn't good at Gobstones. In any way. At all. Mary would have been tempted to laugh if not for the fact that the pale boy crouching with her had an unsettling fire in his bloodshot eyes. As he focused on the game, Mary took a moment to take a better look at him. His hair was oily, although not as oily as she had seen it previously, although it had grown past his shoulders. While he had appeared to be of a healthy weight when term had started, he was now closer to his usual gaunt self. His pale skin was drenched in gobstone fluid at this point, a testament to how many times Mary had bested him.
"Snape?"
Snape looked up, glowering at Mary, which almost made her scoot away. "Yes?"
"Doesn't your hair get in the way?"
"No." Snape turned back to the game and made his move. The gobstone hit its mark, but it didn't move past the perimeter. "For fuck's sake."
"Language."
"Coming from Miss Tough Shite, that's rich," Snape sneered. "And here I thought you were such a sweet little girl."
"I'm thirteen."
"Obviously; how else would you be in your third year?"
Mary shot Snape a dirty look as she got down and shot her gobstone, knocking two of Snape's out. The gobstones shot their foul liquid at Snape, causing the boy to sharply inhale.
Snape wiped his face clean off as much as he could before saying, "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're enjoying this."
"Might be," Mary said, suppressing a smile that vanished on its own when she saw the look on Snape's face. He wasn't angry; he was resigned. As he went to shoot his gobstone, Mary said, "Maybe you should tie your hair back?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
"So you can see things out of the corner of your eye?"
"And look like Malfoy and Black?"
"You have a point."
"Does it bother you?" Snape asked as a gobstone squirted Mary.
"No, but doesn't it bother you?"
Snape scoffed. "It's hair. If it bothered me, I'd shave it off."
"That sounds a bit drastic," Mary said.
"It would solve the problem if it was a problem."
Mary decided to let the matter go. "Do you want some more salve?"
"Don't need it," Snape replied as a gobstone squirted him.
"You really do."
"No."
"Have you looked in the mirror recently?"
Snape looked up at Mary. "As a matter of fact, yes I have. And I can assure you that my eyes are perfectly fine."
"I don't know what's wrong with you, but whatever's causing those bloodshot eyes is affecting your vision." Mary took out the salve and handed it to Snape. "Come on. Take some."
"And owe you? No."
"You'll owe me nothing."
Snape looked down at the salve, then back at Mary. "Nothing?"
"Nothing."
Snape eyed the salve again before reluctantly taking some, applying it to his eyelids before handing it back.
"Snape?"
"MacDonald?"
"Have you seen Madam Pomfrey about it?"
"It's not particularly important," Snape said dismissively.
"It's ugly to look at."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't change much, would it?"
"Oh stop it; you're not that ugly."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you need your eyes checked?"
Mary let out a sigh of defeat and returned her attention to the game-
"What in Merlin's name is this?!"
Mary felt her blood boil as Umbridge suddenly walked out into the courtyard. She noticed that the light in Snape's eyes had gone out as he looked up and saw the girl.
"Umbridge…." Snape sounded tired. "... what brings you here?"
"Well, I could say the same to you! The Heir of Slytherin, consorting with Muggle-born filth!"
Mary glared at Umbridge until a shadow passed over her. She turned to see that Snape had stood and started approaching Umbridge, stopping within an inch of the toad-like girl. "Filth?" Snape's voice sent a chill down Mary's spine that cooled her blood.
"Her kind threatens to dilute our people and bring more Squibs into the world!"
"Ah," Snape replied smoothly. "Then it might be for the betterment of wizarding society that you yourself never reproduce… half-blood."
Mary could see the whites of the toad's eyes as she croaked at Snape's words. "H-how-"
"I think you'll find that I'm better connected than you may think, Dolores. One can only hope the remainder of Slytherin House isn't."
Umbridge blanched as she started backing away. "Y-you're no different from me-"
"Oh, I agree," Snape cut in. "Half-blood refuse from a godforsaken shithole. But I never made the claim that I was a pureblood, did I? No, but you did."
"You have no proof-"
"I'm the Heir of Slytherin," Snape said. Mary could hear the sneer in his voice. "And should I ask Black or Rosier to confirm your blood status, I'm almost certain they'd find themselves… glancing… in your student folder. And we wouldn't want that, would we?"
Umbridge's nostrils flared, but her lips remained shut tight.
"Here's my suggestion," Snape continued. "Let's say we… avoid… MacDonald from now on, and I believe neither Black nor Rosier will have any reason to… sneak a peek."
Umbridge looked between Snape and Mary frantically before turning on her heels and briskly walking away. Mary looked at Snape with wide eyes as the boy returned to his spot and sat down.
Snape cleared his throat as he adjusted his robe, and he said, "Well, that was unpleasant. Whose turn was it?"
Lily IX
Lily awoke with a dull pounding in her head. Her eyelids felt too heavy to open, and a weighing sensation almost convinced her to go back to sleep. She took a deep breath as she forced herself to sit up, her eyes automatically opening from the action as her blurry vision corrected itself. She looked over at the grandfather clock; it was just after 6. She slowly got out of bed, that weight pulling down on her as she walked to her desk and sat down, opening the diary.
I feel exhausted.
From a nap?
My whole body feels heavy.
Maybe you have influenza?
Maybe. I'm going to visit Severus before going to dinner.
Very well. Take care and get some rest.
Lily shut the diary and made her way out of the dorm, through the common room, and on her way to Severus's room. She arrived later than she had expected and knocked on the door, only to be met with silence. She knocked again, but she was once again met with silence. She started banging on the door, a bit too loudly for her head's taste, until the door finally swung open.
"Sorry, I was in the shower." Severus's hair was dripping wet, and he had thrown on a bathrobe to cover himself. "Did you need…. Lily, are you alright?"
"What?" Lily's eyes shot up to Severus's, and she could feel them almost boring into her head. She replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache."
"You don't look well. Would you like to sit down?" Severus opened the door more and gestured to the… oh, he had a rather comfortable-looking couch….
"No, I'm fine," Lily answered. "I was just stopping by before dinner."
"You might pass out before you get there," Severus insisted. "I can have Snarky bring you something."
Lily glanced over to the couch, then back to the concerned Severus. "If you're sure…."
"Of course, I am." Severus stepped aside, allowing to come through. He shut the door behind her, locking it as he said, "Make yourself comfortable. Snarky?"
Pop. "Severus Snape calls for Snarky…. Severus Snape has a girl in his bedroom."
"Hello," Lily greeted, giving the sneering house-elf a small wave as she sat on the couch.
"Lily Evans looks terrible," Snarky said matter-of-factly.
"Thank you for the compliment," Lily replied sarcastically.
"Shall Snarky bring medicine for Lily Evans?"
"No," Lily said, "I've already had some."
"We will be eating dinner together," Severus said.
When he says it like that, it almost sounds like a date…. Lily felt her face heating up.
Snarky looked between the two of them, his eyes lingering before he said, "... and what would the nature of the dinner be, sir?"
"Medicinal," Severus replied. "Lily is unwell. Can I trust that you will prepare something for her?"
"Is there a specific meal in mind, sir?"
"A chicken and vegetable soup with a roll of bread for Lily, the usual for myself, and a pot of tea with two cups, a whole lemon, and a small pot of honey."
"Of course, sir." Pop.
Severus pulled the table in front of Lily closer to her as he sat beside her, his eyes fixed on her. "What exactly are you feeling?"
"Dull throbbing in my head, general heaviness, fatigue."
"Hmm. Perhaps the flu?"
Lily shrugged.
"You look a bit flushed." Severus stood and went into the bathroom before returning with a wet hand towel. He rolled it up and handed it to Lily. "Here."
"Thank you." Lily cooled her face with the towel as she heard Snarky pop back into the room, setting their food down on the table. The smell of chicken broth wafted its way into her nose, and she set the towel down in favor of the provided spoon so she could eat. She looked over at Severus's own bowl….
Severus noticed her gaze and looked down at what he was eating. "What?"
"Porridge?"
"I don't have much of an appetite, but this will do." Severus set his spoon down and poured the tea before taking a provided knife and cutting the lemon in half. "Half or whole?"
"Half for now," Lily said. She watched as Severus squeezed the lemon juice into her cup and mixed it with the tea before returning to his meal. "How are you?"
"I've caught up with my essays," Severus replied. He sounded at ease, or at least at more ease than he'd been for the past month.
"It must've been hard."
"Tedious, but yes. One benefit is that I've redeveloped my handwriting."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Your handwriting?"
"I've been out of sorts, as you know. But I've adjusted now, so I should have more free time."
Lily smiled as she sipped the soup from her spoon. "Good. Maybe then-" Suddenly, she felt her lungs seize as a violent cough erupted from her throat. She bent over as she felt Severus's arm around her front, his hand resting on her arm, while his other hand rested on her back.
"Lily," Severus said, his voice nervous. "Lily, can you breathe?!"
Lily finished coughing, steadying her breath in shudders as she sat back up. "Y-yeah," she wheezed out. "Maybe I should go back-"
"No," Severus said, shaking his head. "Finish what you can and have some tea. Take your time."
Lily nodded weakly as she continued eating her soup, feeling Severus's eyes on her with each sip. "Thank you for the soup."
"Of course," Severus said softly. "Maybe you should stay in the Hospital Wing for the night?"
Lily shook her head. "No, I'm not that ill."
"You just had a coughing fit. You're not well."
"I just need a bit more rest."
Severus was silent for a moment. "I'll walk you back to the common room once you're ready."
"Thank you."
"And I don't think you should visit me until you've recovered."
Lily turned her attention away from the soup bowl and to Severus. "But we have time to-"
"Your wellbeing comes first," Severus said. "We'll have time to talk about us once you're healthy. In addition, I don't think you should be involved in planning the Slug Club parties anymore."
Lily's eyes widened. "Sev, I've put so much work into this-"
"I know," Severus said. "You've done plenty. But I think you've been working yourself too hard. You're taking advanced classes, you're a Prefect, you're planning parties with and for Slughorn, and you're taking time out of your day to visit me. You can't stop going to classes without falling behind, and you have Prefect duties, so neglecting those is out of the question unless your health declines even more. Please don't push yourself."
Lily had trouble believing Severus, at least the Severus he'd become, would say something like this. "You're not just saying this to get out of having that talk, are you?"
"No. It's not fair to you or me if either one of us is unwell. We should be at our best." Severus took a sip of tea before taking a spoonful of porridge.
Lily nodded and finished as much of the soup as she could, then drained her teacup to allow the citrus and honey to do their work. She stood up, feeling refreshed, and said, "Thank you for dinner."
"Of course," Severus said. He stood, barely having touched his own food, and said, "Are you ready?"
Lily nodded.
The two of them left Severus's room and walked down the corridor, making their way to the staircase. The steps were harder to ascend than normal, and each step felt heavier than the last. Lily was glad Severus had suggested dinner in his room; if she'd gone down to the Great Hall, she doubted she'd be able to return to the dorm without passing out.
"If you feel worse tomorrow," Severus said, "go to the Hospital Wing. And if it persists throughout next week, I'll bring notes for you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes; we share all of the same classes."
"Thank- AHH!" Lily screamed as she spotted a small, furry thing running down the corridor on the seventh floor.
Before there was time to process it, Severus drew his wand and shouted, "Stupify!"
The creature was rendered immobile as Lily and Severus approached slowly. It was the fattest rat Lily had ever seen, with tufts of fur growing from the tips of its ears.
"Big rat," Severus commented blandly. He scooped it up in his free hand and said, "I'll take it to Filch later on. Must've strayed from the lower floors."
They arrived outside the portrait, and Lily turned and said, "Well, thank you for walking me back."
"You're welcome," Severus said. "Rest up and take it easy tomorrow."
Lily thought about the preparations for the party and groaned. "What am I going to do about the party planning?"
"If you write down some notes, I can use them and help in your place."
Lily met Severus's eyes, surprised by his offer.
"Yes, Lily, I'm willing to help you with this. It's important to you."
Lily couldn't help but smile. "I owe you."
"You owe me less than you think."
Lily wasn't sure how to respond to that. What was he implying?
"I'll be off," Severus said. "Good night, Lily."
"Night, Severus."
With that, Severus turned and disappeared down the corridor, rat in hand.
Lily stepped through the portrait and into the common room, only to find Marlene and James sitting downstairs with worried looks on their faces. Marlene's eyes shot up as Lily appeared.
"Lily, where have you been?!'
"Sorry," Lily said apologetically. "I was checking on Severus, but I felt a bit too ill to come down to dinner. I had some soup in his room-"
"You ate with Snape?" There was something tense in James's voice, and for a brief moment, Lily saw the old James.
"He saw I was ill and had a house-elf bring me some soup and tea. He's going to help the Slug Club organize the party in my absence."
"Is that so?" Marlene sounded skeptical.
"It is," Lily said, too tired to argue. "I'm going to bed now."
"I'll help her up," Marlene said to James as she assisted Lily up the stairs. When they were in the dorm, she helped Lily sit down on her bed. "Why didn't you go to the Hospital Wing?"
"It might be gone by Monday," Lily said.
"If you're still feeling off, I'll take you."
"Thanks, Marley."
Marlene nodded and gave Lily a small hug. "Rest up, yeah?"
"Yeah. Night."
"Night."
Lily, not bothering to change out of her uniform, crawled under the blankets and felt her fatigue pull her into a deep sleep.
Severus XI
Severus arrived back in his room and grabbed the blanket from his bed, shoving it into the space beneath the door with his free hand as he handled the rat with his other one. Of all the times for this to happen, it had to be today….
Severus set the unconscious rat on the ground and opened his Charms book to the bookmarked page. The Homorphus Charm was difficult to use; he imagined Lily could do it, but Lily could never know what was about to happen. With the wandwork in his head and the incantation prepared, he turned back to the rat, focusing his mind on what needed to be done.
"Muffliato!" The room was filled with Severus's Muffling Charm; there would be no way of anyone passing by to hear it. "Langlock!" He could see the rat's mouth shift slightly, signifying that its tongue had been glued to the roof of his mouth. "Homorphum!" The rat spun in on itself before reshaping into Peter Pettigrew, and Severus took the liberty of taking his wand from him. "Levicorpus!" Pettigrew's unconscious body was suspended by its ankles. Finally, Severus was ready. "Rennervate!"
Pettigrew jolted back to life, his eyes widely fixed on Severus as he let out a choked scream. Severus had expected the fat boy to panic, but he was expecting tears later on… certainly not now.
"Hello… Wormtail."
Pettigrew's choked sobs immediately halted as he blanched.
"Now then… I'm going to free your tongue from the roof of your mouth so that we may have a civil conversation. No one outside can hear you, so screaming would only serve to waste your time and piss me off. Do we understand one another?"
Pettigrew nodded quickly, his jowls jiggling in desperation.
"Good." With a swish of the wand, he liberated Pettigrew's tongue.
"W-what- how did- why?!"
"Moony is a werewolf, yes?"
Pettigrew didn't respond, but Severus could see he was trembling.
"Well, given your other nicknames, I thought about whether or not they meant anything. And I began to wonder if Moony's three miscreant friends would be bold and reckless enough to become Animagi… and the answer was a simple yes. Gryffindors and whatnot.
"Prongs was simple: some sort of horned or antlered animal, which could either be a goat, ram, or perhaps a stag. Well, knowing Potter, he would choose the most majestic and prestigious animal available to him, while also not drawing enough attention to be noticed, as of course his form would be meant for clandestine operations. Hence, a stag, the king of the forest.
"Padfoot, of course, must refer to an animal with padded feet, so something related to a canine, feline, potentially a weasel or relative. Of all the choices, a dog would suit his temperament the most.
"And as for you… Wormtail… it wasn't hard to figure out."
Severus let the air grow silent as Pettigrew's eyes darted around the room. He turned and pulled a chair over, sitting down so that he was looking up at the rat boy.
"Now… I have a few questions. Let's begin with this: have you, at any point during our sixth year, used Potter's cloak to conceal your presence as you hexed me?"
"N-no!" Pettigrew stammered. "No, I-I've only touched- wait, how do you know-"
"I am asking the questions," Severus said softly, which shut Pettigrew up. "Who was it?"
"W-well," Pettigrew continued, "I've… I've used it when… when J-James was busy and I wasn't. But never w-when he wasn't."
"That would make sense," Severus said, nodding. "And the solution that caused me to slip and hit my head?"
"James made it," Pettigrew said, "b-but I placed it."
"Ah." Severus looked the boy over before continuing. "And Herbology… the shoelaces…?"
"T-that was me," Pettigrew answered, nodding.
"Hmm. Well, I could spend more time questioning you on that, but I've confirmed all I need. Now then… I'm fairly certain being an unregistered Animagus is… a felony…?"
Pettigrew's mouth went agape, his jaw trembling. "W-wait-"
"Now, I'm certain that an Animagus that is not yet in their majority may receive a lighter punishment… perhaps expulsion… so, there's no point in me doing anything about that…."
Pettigrew's demeanor seemed to relax slightly, but not by much.
"... until next September, that is." If Severus could sense a person's heartbeat, he was certain Pettigrew's had stopped.
"S-Snape, I-I'll do anything-"
"Yes, yes you will," Severus said quickly. "Because come the 1st of September 1977, I will be sending a letter directly to the DMLE… if you step out of line. And should you tell anyone about our little arrangement, or confess your Animagus status to anyone else, which I will find out about… I'll be sending a different letter… related to Lupin's furry little problem."
Pettigrew let out a choked sob as he said, "I-I swear, I'll do whatever you want! I-I'll tell James and Sirius to stop bullying you, I'll-"
"Now, why would I ask you to do that?"
Pettigrew froze, presumably in surprise. "... w-what?"
"If you tell them to stop, they'll suspect something. No, they can continue with what they're doing."
"... but, i-if that's not… what do y-you want?"
"I want you to report to me what they're doing. And, in addition… I want you to report what my fellow Slytherins are doing."
Pettigrew looked stunned. "That's… that's it?"
"Indeed," Severus said. "Simple, yes? You can even continue to make my life harder, if you feel so inclined… within reason, obviously. As long as I get information."
Pettigrew nodded his head vigorously as he said, "I'll do it! I'll do it, just don't send those letters!"
"Splendid. Liberacorpus."
Pettigrew fell down on the hard stone floor and scrambled to his feet-
"Oh, and Wormtail?"
Pettigrew froze before he could transform.
"Your friends are so lucky to have such a devoted friend," Severus sneered. "Leave."
Pettigrew shifted into his rat form as Severus removed the blanket from the doorway. The rat scurried under it, and Severus heard the pitter-pattering disappear moments later.
Severus let out a sigh of relief as he said, "That went well."
Indeed. We're still in our bathrobe.
"Oh." Severus looked down at himself, realizing he must've walked Lily back to her dorm…. "Oh, fuck."
No one noticed. Get dressed.
Severus nodded and retrieved some clothes from the wardrobe before disrobing. He pulled on some pants, followed by his trousers-
Severus froze, and his heart stopped. "Wh…." His right hand traveled to tentatively grip his left forearm, his mind growing fuzzy at the sight.
The sight of a serpent slithering out of a skull.
Author's Notes
Cokeworth is located in Sandwell along the River Tame. For those of you who live in said area, I apologize for erasing your homes. If, however, you don't mind, I would like to welcome you to Cokeworth, and congratulate you for living in the same town as Lily Evans and Severus Snape.
