Neji died along with the leaves in autumn, though not as gracefully, not as beautifully. There was a date to that day, but Hinata never remembered it. All she knew is that when the leaves gained color as they died, Neji's face had lost it. When the winds got colder, so did his body.
That was his season, now. His ghost would always haunt it.
But for that shivering fall, one year later, it was his soul that had come to warm her. Brought to her in pale, thin hands that looked so much like bone, Neji's buzzing soul hummed through the silent night. He was back. Not alive, but … back.
And Hinata – maybe she was just too easily pleased – but that was enough for her. That constant heaviness on her shoulders due to the memory of his death was lifted, and she could breath in the boiling air.
Boiling – because Sasuke was now there, taking up her vision, her mind, her world.
He was becoming her autumn, unpredictable like the weather, yet constant, like the sound of crunching leaves under her boots.
And … he … might be leaving, she feared. He stopped showing up. He stopped talking. Did that mean he also stopped caring? Would he leave her behind like Neji did, alone and trembling in the wind?
And if so, would she let him?
Chapter 15
Stay Near, My Dear Autumn
All that sounded in her apartment was the hum of Neji's soul; which, of course, was held securely in Sasuke's hands. She wondered what her cousin thought with how things were playing out – she wondered if he was even aware, or if his mind was in another place far away.
If he were there and saw how she squirmed and how the Devil Himself kept his distance from her, as if fearing she'd pounce him, he'd probably laugh. Not that she could blame him. It was a bit funny, in a sad, ironic sort of way.
Sasuke had told her he's never been uncomfortable, and never will; but right now, he sure acted like it. He did not avoid her eye when she tried to meet it, but his shoulders were pulled back, feet turned to the side, as if ready to lead him away from her and back to Hell.
Clearly, he did not want to be there.
But she had asked, and he had come.
So why was she saying nothing?
Why was it so hard?
Probably … because she did not know what to say. Hinata wasn't even sure what, exactly, was happening, or why it turned out this way. One moment, she never wanted to see him again; the next, she missed him every second he was gone. He had gone from never leaving her alone to avoiding her without even a warning, and it confused her terribly.
Was it out of guilt for what he had done with Neji?
But … he couldn't feel guilt.
So what was it?
The corner of her lips shook, begging for her mouth to release the words on her tongue.
The silence stretched.
Sasuke shifted, then sighed, then held Neji's by its wispy tail.
"I'm trying something, for him."
The soul flashed, as if irritated by how it was being held, and Hinata held her hand out and took it. "What do you mean?" she asked, thankfully to finally find her words.
"I don't often create life," Sasuke said. "That's Naruto's job. But it's not outside of my capabilities." He swiped a hand back, towards the door frame of her bedroom. "It's not resurrection, per say, and digging out that casket will not be necessary. It won't be the same body, but it's the same soul, so –"
"Wait." She tried to grasp onto what he was implying, hugging Neji closer to her. "Are you saying you're … making him a new body?"
Again, Sasuke sighed. "A body made in Hell stays in Hell, but he can come visit while you're still on Earth. He said he didn't mind."
"Y-You can talk to him?"
Sasuke gave her a look, then stared down at the soul in her arms. "But … we wanted to ask you, first. He said you were the one most affected by his death, after all."
Hinata nodded, though it was shallow. "That's –" she swallowed, "what you've been doing all this time? Making him a body?" Sasuke nodded, but there was a twist to his face that Hinata caught immediately. "But that's not the only reason, is it?"
"Of course not," he said. "I am doing what you asked me."
"Asked you?"
"You want me to leave you alone."
Her heart jumped as she remembered those exact words leaving her mouth just several days ago. "Sasuke," she whispered, "I was angry, b-but – I don't feel that way anymore. I want you here."
His mouth twisted, a bit of his fangs showing through the darkness of the room.
"Happiness is an important emotion for humans," he said, as if it wasn't an obvious thing to say. Well, for him, Hinata supposed, it probably wasn't. "If I am here, you will be unhappy."
"That's not true." She took a step forward, and he took a step back. Not out of fear. Not out of guilt. But because he thought he needed to do it to keep her happy. "When you're gone, I'm lonely. I want you here. You make me happy."
Dark eyes narrowed, as if pained, as he hissed to himself, not saying a word, not even looking at her anymore. Hinata glanced down at Neji, felt him buzz, and slowly placed him down on a cushion in the sofa before rubbing her arms.
Because, despite the Devil in her home, she was shivering.
"It's so cold," she said.
The wind outside was blowing against the walls, making them groan. The dark night did not swelter with the light of the sun, and the bottoms of Hinata's feet curled when pressed against the cool floorboards. It took her some courage, but she managed to walk past Sasuke and get to the door to her bedroom, which hung open. When she pushed it open, she looked back, making the invitation quite clear as it were.
But still, just in case, she whispered, "Will you help me warm up?"
And he hesitated, which was a bit strange for him. But she understood why, and she waited patiently as he seemed to think things over.
Eventually, his hands pulled away from his cloak, and he came to her side. Looming. Like he often did.
"Lead the way."
And, again, Hinata found herself dragging him along with her, preparing herself to be the teacher once again.
…
In the bathroom, it was not the slightest bit cold.
The water was warm, and steam fogged up the mirrors.
Sasuke was there, heat just oozing from every inch of his body.
And Hinata –
"This is … s-so embarrassing."
Was almost literally on fire.
Under the spray of the shower, they were together. He was looking, and she most certainly was not. His head tilted a bit to the side, horns almost knocking into the wall, and Hinata, out of shame, covered her face.
"S-Stop staring."
"Again with the modesty," he huffed, but the airy edge of his voice sent the skin on the back of her neck aflame. "You're not doing it."
She gasped, heart almost leaping out of her chest. "D-D-Doing what?"
Sasuke did not answer, but when Hinata peeked at him from between her fingers, she saw he was staring at the shampoo bottles on the rack. Oh. That's right. Hinata pushed back the curtain and grabbed the rubber gloves from the sink, pulling them on and squirting the men's shampoo she had gotten last week into them.
"Lean down, please," she said, "so I can reach."
So he did, and a pleased sigh left him as she scrubbed the shampoo into his hair, avoiding his horns with practiced ease.
And when she was finished and he had leaned under the water to wash it out, his eyes opened and stared at her.
"Let me."
Hinata looked down at her gloves. "Will these fit you?"
He tried them on, and while they fit tightly and barely fit around his massive palm, he managed to yank them on. She poured the shampoo into his hands and instructed him softly on how to wash her hair.
"Scrub it into the skull," she said, "but not too hard. And my hair is longer, so you need to make sure you get all of it."
It took longer than it did to do his, but he wasn't complaining, and nor was she.
…
But Hinata wouldn't, under any circumstances, let him wash the rest of her, and his eyes narrowed when she told him to look away.
"Boring."
"It's a shower, Sasuke," she said, already scrubbing her arms with a sponge. "It's not supposed to be fun."
He waited until she was done, and when she meekly stated that she was clean, he leaned over her and pressed her against the wall, his head next to her.
"All of me," he said, pulling her hand that held to sponge onto his chest.
"U-Um –"
"All."
Squeaking, she dropped the sponge into his hands and bowed her head, avoiding his gaze.
He huffed, irritated. "Fine," he muttered, "but you don't have to look away."
…
Hinata watched his face when she rubbed conditioner into his hair. She noted the relaxed turn of his brows and the lack of tension around his mouth. Sasuke looked absolutely peaceful, and she smiled and bit back a laugh as she moved behind his ears.
When his eyes peeked open, she could barely see the black irises through the dark.
"Hinata," he said, voice low and barely audible under the falling water around them. "I love you."
Her hands dropped from the side of his skull, blood freezing up. Her heart stopped, then started, then raced, and it was so hot in there that she was sure she would die. His lidded gaze widened as his back straightened, and when she took a moment to breathe, she realized she was crying.
"You said it made you happy when you heard those words," he said.
She nodded. "It does. These are happy tears."
"Crying means pain," he pressed. "You are in pain."
"No, Sasuke." She moved her gloved hands back through his locks, smiling, hoping he'd see she was okay. "I'm not, I promise. Y-You just made me … really happy, and sometimes humans cry when they're really happy."
That peaceful expression evaporated, replaced by fluttering eyes and a twisted smile and furrowed brows. That pained expression came again, and his teeth were gritted together as he leaned into her touch.
"Do you feel it?" He moved her hand to his chest.
She waited a moment, but nothing came. "No. What is it?"
"I don't know," he said. "It feels like something's stuck in there. I don't get it. This has never happened before."
"Like a heart?"
"No." His mouth relaxed. "Maybe."
But that was impossible, they both knew. Sasuke did not have a heart, nor could he ever have one. Like a soul, it just wasn't a part of his existence.
But then … what was in his chest, then?
What was it that gave him such a pained expression?
Whatever it was, Hinata wasn't sure if she liked it.
"We should get out," she whispered, "before the water gets cold."
So she turned off the water and stepped out, pulling a towel around her. When Sasuke was out, the water evaporated off his skin, and he was dry within the second.
"What will you do about it?" she asked him.
Sasuke looked down at his chest, then murmured, "Ask that bastard, I suppose."
…
As she dried her hair with a towel, she looked out her window and watched a few leaves fall from the nearby trees.
"Fall just started," she said, meeting Sasuke's gaze in the reflection. "The night will get longer, and the days colder."
He adjusted the gloves on his hands before joining her.
"There's nothing to worry about," he said. "I'll keep you warm."
Heart pounding in her chest and sending courage through her system, Hinata turned and stood on the tips of her toes and pressed her mouth against his. It burned like Hell, and her immediate reaction was to flinch, but she did not pull away like she did all those times before.
Sasuke was quick to kiss her back, molding his lips with her, but when she finally pulled away and his gaze found her red lips, he scowled. "Hinata."
"It's okay –"
"You're hurt," he hissed.
"I don't mind it this time," she said, but even speaking sent pain through her entire face. "I-I wanted to kiss you. I'm sorry."
Taking a step back, Sasuke shook his head. "Humans never seem to make up their mind."
"I guess you're right," she laughed.
He looked out the window again, then said, "Go to sleep. It's late."
It was, and after drying her hair, Hinata slipped under her blankets and curled onto her side.
"You'll wake me up," she said into the darkness, "right?"
Only a second of quiet and howling wind and distant shivering.
Then –
"I'll be here."
The relief made her legs heavy, as well as her eyes, and with a smile, Hinata fell asleep.
Chapter 15 - End
