Chapter VII: The Overworld Tour Continues… (Phase V)
HJ: It's only been ten minutes and we're halfway through warp speed.
Josh (to HJ): Look at the bright side, HJ. Only 120 more cities to go.
Jamie: Yeah, HJ. We have at least ten minutes until we get to Greece.
Tom: I've heard about one of its cities, Sparta. So that's where Sparta remixes are from?
Ryan (to Tom): I'm gonna say yes, Tom.
Zoe: I'll bet that we'll beat Dr. Steamferno there.
Narrator/EPF: 10 minutes later…
Riga: We should be out of warp speed in about now.
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
HJ: I don't believe it! After 20 long minutes of being in warp speed, we're in Athens!
Josh: Told you the wait was worth it, HJ.
Riga (to HJ): Where do you want me to land, HJ?
HJ (to Riga): How about… *looks at a built-in map* …Rizari Park?
Riga (to HJ): Okay!
*Riga lands her airship at Rizari Park, turns it off*
City Number CXXI: Athens, Greece
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
HJ: EPF, how long until the Steamferno Clan Airship gets here?
Narrator/EPF: In about now.
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship comes out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
HJ: It's here.
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss, the Cork Men and their 12 rookies beat us here!
Dr. Steamferno: Aw, man! Not even at the beginning of Phase V!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: I say we have the steam magma drones attack and destroy the Panathenaic Stadium.
Dr. Steamferno: Excellent! We'll land northwest of the stadium.
*the Steamferno Clan Airship lands on the northwestern side of the stadium*
*Dr. Steamferno turns off the Steamferno Clan Airship*
Steam Magma Commander: Deploying the Steam Magma Drones now. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
*all steam magma drones get deployed and teleported to the Panathenaic Stadium*
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
(people screaming in the distance)
(lasers firing from the steam magma drones in the distance)
Jamie: Guys, shh! I'm hearing something. *listens to the earth* There's trouble at the Panathenaic Stadium!
HJ: I'm guessing that's bad.
Josh: Not unless you guys think this city needs rubble from the stadium. That stadium is centuries old! It's entirely made out of marble!
HJ: Plus two olympic games were held there. The Games of the I Olympiad, aka Athens 1896, and the Games of the XXVIII Olympiad, aka Athens 2004.
Josh: That is correct, HJ. Two summer olympic games were held there.
Jamie: Goodbye, multi-use stadium.
Tom: Rubble surfing rules.
HJ (to Tom): It definitely doesn't, Tom.
Drew: Then what are we waiting for? We gotta get there before that centuries-old stadium is destroyed!
HJ: Let's teleport to it!
*everyone teleports to the stadium that's under attack*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone gets to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: There they are. The steam magma drones are on other side of the field! ATTACK!
*all eighteen members of the gang run to the other sides of the field where the steam magma drones are attacking*
(everyone yelling war cries)
Steam Magma Drone: It's the Cork Men and their 12 rookies! Get them! The boss desires them alive.
(everyone continues yelling war cries)
*everyone defeats as many steam magma drones as they can*
HJ: Everyone! Don't let them destroy this stadium!
Narrator/EPF: Some time later…
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last steam magma drone* There. I think that's all of them.
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! Our plan to destroy the Panathenaic Stadium failed! And all of the steam magma drones are offline!
Dr. Steamferno: What!? Th-this just cannot be! We're halfway to the tenth and final phase of our greatest plan ever to take over the overworld and then the universe. Where to next, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Sofia, Bulgaria.
Steam Magma Commander: We have 5,370,000 more.
Dr. Steamferno: Okay, here we go! *starts up the Steamferno Clan Airship*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship takes off*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship goes into warp speed*
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
Jamie: They're going to Sofia, Bulgaria!
HJ: Let's go!
*everyone teleports back to Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone gets on Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*Riga runs to the bridge and starts up her airship*
(engines roaring)
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: Setting coordinates for Sofia, Bulgaria. *sets the coordinates* *the coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Preparing the jump to warp speed. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
*Riga's airship goes into warp speed*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ: We're gonna be there in how long, Josh?
Josh (to HJ): About t-minus five minutes.
Narrator/EPF: Five minutes later…
*Riga's airship gets out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
HJ: Okay, we're out of warp speed.
Narrator/EPF: FYI, the distance from Athens to Sofia is 327 miles as the crow flies.
HJ (to Riga): Riga. Land at West Park.
Riga (to HJ): Okay.
*Riga lands her airship at West Park*
City Number CXXII: Sofia, Bulgaria
*Riga turns off her airship*
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone quickly gets off*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga locks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
HJ (to Josh): Uh, Josh? How long until the Steamferno Clan gets here?
Josh: In about now.
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship gets out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! The Cork Men and their twelve rookies beat us here!
Dr. Steamferno: This has happened over and over again! This has got to stop!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Land at North Park!
Dr. Steamferno: Okay!
*the Steamferno Clan Airship lands at North Park*
*Dr. Steamferno turns off the Steamferno Clan Airship*
Steam Magma Commander: Deploying all Steam Magma Drones. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
*all steam magma drones get deployed*
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
(lasers firing in distance)
(many people screaming in distance)
Jamie: *listens to the earth* I hear people screaming!
HJ: Let's go!
*they teleport to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
*they reach the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: There they are. They're trying to take over the city. Now, everyone. ATTACK!
(everyone yelling war cries)
Steam Magma Drone: It's the heroes known as the Cork Men and their 12 rookies. Get them!
*everyone defeats as many steam magma drones as they can*
Narrator/EPF: Some time later…
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last steam magma drone* There, I think that's all of them.
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! All of the steam magma drones are offline!
Dr. Steamferno: No! This just keeps happening over and over again! (grumbling) Where to next, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Schaan, Liechtenstein.
Dr. Steamferno: Okay! Here we go! *starts up the Steamferno Clan Airship*
*Steamferno Clan Airship takes off*
*Steamferno Clan Airship goes into warp speed*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
HJ: Where are they going to next, Jamie?
Jamie: They're going to Schaan, Liechtenstein.
HJ: Guess we better head there, too.
*everyone teleports back to Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone teleports on Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: EPF, what is the distance from Sofia, Bulgaria to Schaan, Liechtenstein?
Narrator/EPF: The distance from Sofia to Schaan is 741.5 miles as the crow flies.
*Riga runs to the bridge of her airship and starts it up*
*Riga's airship takes off*
Riga: Setting coordinates for Schaan, Liechtenstein. *sets the coordinates* *coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Making the jump to warp speed now. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ: Now that we're in warp speed, I just can't believe we are going to a small country next.
Riga: We'll be there in t-minus three minutes, HJ.
HJ (to Riga): Okay!
Josh: We'll be there before you know it, HJ.
HJ (to Josh): I know.
Narrator/EPF: Three minutes later…
*Riga's airship comes out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Riga: Okay, we're in Schaan, Liechtenstein.
HJ (to Riga): Riga, land by the Casino Maximus Schaan!
Riga (to HJ): Okay!
*Riga lands her airship near the casino*
City Number CXXIII: Schaan, Liechtenstein
*Riga turns off her airship*
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone gets off*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
*Riga locks her airship*
(beep, beep!)
HJ: Josh, how long until the Steamferno Clan Airship gets here?
Josh: It should be here in about now.
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
*the Steamferno Clan airship comes out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! The Cork beat us here!
Dr. Steamferno: This has happened again and again! Where shall we land?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: *looks at the airship's built-in map* We're gonna land near that food manufacturer, Hilcona. And boss, in hindsight, it was probably a bad idea for me to place this location on the list.
Dr. Steamferno: Well, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob, try to warn me sooner next time!
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Yeah, I'd appreciate it, boss!
*the Steamferno Clan Airship lands near the food manufacturer*
*Dr. Steamferno turns of the airship*
Dr. Steamferno: Steam Magma Commander! Deploy all the steam magma drones for here!
Steam Magma Commander: Yes, boss. *walks up to the machine that deploys all of the steam magma drones* Deploying all steam magma drones for Schaan! *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
*all 30,000 steam magma drones get deployed*
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
(people screaming in distance)
(lasers firing in distance)
Jamie: Guys, I'm hearing something! *listens to the earth* The steam magma drones, they're attacking! And they're also nearby!
HJ: Let's teleport to the attack site!
*everyone in the gang teleports to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone in the gang reaches the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: There they are. Okay, guys. Don't let them destroy any part of this small European country. Now, ATTACK!
(everyone yelling war cries)
*everyone defeats as many steam magma drones as they can*
Narrator/EPF: Some time later…
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last steam magma drone* There. I think that's all of them.
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! All of the steam magma drones are offline!
Dr. Steamferno: Grr! Enough of this! Those steam magma drones keep failing to conquer all those cities on our list due to the Cork Men and the twelve rookies! Where to next, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: I'll show you. Just take off.
*the Steamferno Clan Airship starts up, and then takes off*
(dialogue inaudible)
*the Steamferno Clan Airship goes into warp speed*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Jamie: They're going to Dogana, San Marino!
HJ: We better get going.
*everyone teleports back to Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone teleports back on Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*Riga walks to the bridge of her airship*
*Riga starts up her airship*
*Riga then types the next location*
*Riga's airship goes into warp speed*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Narrator/EPF: 27 cities later…
Riga: We'll be out of warp speed in three, two, one.
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Tom: EPF, where are we?
Narrator/EPF: N'djamena, Chad.
HJ: Can't believe the distance to San Francisco, California, United States to N'djamena, Chad is 8,020 miles as the crow flies.
Narrator/EPF: And the distance from here to the equator is 836.49 miles as the crow flies.
Josh: It's really hot here since this city is close to the equator. And the equator is the earth's hottest point that the sun hit on.
Riga: Uh, HJ? Where do you want me to land?
HJ (to Riga): Land on the north side of the N'djamena International Airport.
Riga: Okay!
*Riga lands her airship on the north side of the airport*
City Number CL: N'djamena, Chad
*Riga turns off her airship*
(ramp whirs as it opens)
*everyone quickly gets off*
(ramp whirs as it closes)
Josh: Okay, everyone. This is the last city on Steam Dark Hugh Jacob's list of Phase V. This is also the halfway mark of the Steamferno Clan's overworld tour.
HJ (to Josh): Josh, when is the Steamferno Clan Airship gonna come out of warp speed?
Josh (to HJ): In about now.
(electrical zapping in the sky)
*an orange wormhole opens up*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship comes out of warp speed*
(ding!)
(ZOOM!)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! The Cork Men and their twelve rookies beat us here!
Dr. Steamferno: Grr! Not again! Not here! Especially if we're on the halfway mark of our overworld tour list! Especially on the last city of Phase V of our greatest plan ever! Where shall we land, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob, my evil apprentice?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Stade de Diguel.
Dr. Steamferno: Okay!
*the Steamferno Clan Airship lands near the Stade de Diguel*
*the Steamferno Clan Airship turns off*
Steam Magma Commander: Deploying all of the steam magma drones for N'djamena. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
*all steam magma drones get deployed*
Narrator/EPF: Returning to the scene we were at seconds before…
(people screaming in the distance)
(lasers firing in the distance)
Jamie: I hear people screaming and lasers firing!
HJ: Quick, everyone to the attack site!
*everyone teleports to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone gets to the attack site*
(teleporting noises)
HJ: There they are. The steam magma drones. Now everyone, ATTACK!
(everyone yelling war cries)
Steam Magma Drone: It's the Cork Men and their twelve rookies! Get them! The boss desires them alive.
*everyone defeats as many steam magma drones as they can*
Narrator/EPF: Some time later…
HJ: Rah! *defeats the last steam magma drone* There. I think we defeated all of them for here.
(all cheering)
Narrator/EPF: Meanwhile on the Steamferno Clan Airship…
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: Boss! This is terrible! All of the steam magma drones for here are offline!
Steam Magma Commander: They defeated half of my army. Which is 4,500,000 of my steam magma drones.
Dr. Steamferno: We've failed on the first half of our plan. We better not fail on the second half! Where to next, Steam Dark Hugh Jacob?
Steam Dark Hugh Jacob: We're gonna start Phase VI in the city we travel to. Which is Juba, South Sudan.
Dr. Steamferno: Okay. Here we go! *starts up the Steamferno Clan Airship*
*Steamferno Clan Airship takes off*
*Steamferno Clan Airship goes into warp speed*
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
Jamie: I can read lips. They're going to start Phase VI of their plan. They're going to Juba, South Sudan.
HJ: Let's get going!
*everyone teleports back to Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*everyone teleports on Riga's airship*
(teleporting noises)
*Riga runs to the bridge and starts her airship up*
*Riga's airship takes off*
HJ: EPF, what is the distance from N'djamena, Chad to Juba, South Sudan?
Narrator/EPF: The distance from N'djamena to Juba is 1,235 miles as the crow flies. And also the distance from Juba to the equator is 335.1 miles as the crow flies. It's gonna be hot there because it's close to the equator.
HJ: Okay, thanks, EPF.
Riga: Setting coordinates for Juba, South Sudan. *sets the coordinates* *the coordinates get locked and loaded* Coordinates locked and loaded, baby! Making the jump to warp speed now. *pulls a lever*
(lever clicks)
(ZOOM!)
(ding!)
HJ: To Juba we go!