Nikki was making fun of him, as usual. She nudged him, flicked at his ear, tugged on his clothes, tripped his feet, and laughed at everything he did. She had dragged him out to go on a run with her at too-early-in-the-morning o'clock, yet she kept torturing him. He should've just turned around and gone back home. He should've made her stop. Instead, he indulged her. He whined and complained and let her keep poking him. There were times when he'd fire back with insults and mean words, but that only made it worse. Nikki knew just what to do to crawl under his skin and stay there for far too long.
Sean hated it. He really hated how she tortured him in every possible way. He also hated that she encouraged him when he got frustrated with their run. He hated that she made him breakfast afterwards (it was only toast and cereal, but still). And he hated that she double-checked his homework for him before they left for school. Nikki being mean then nice to him messed with Sean the most. He could never truly hate his sister. He could only bemoan the fact that she was ever born and adopted by his family.
Those thoughts continued as they made their way to school. Since they had to take their friends that day, Sean was forced to sit in the back. He was also forced to listen to three teenage girls screech along to the radio and laugh uproariously. He didn't indulge anything then. Kicking at Nikki's seat as she drove, Sean taunted the three girls. They tried to retaliate, especially his sister. Yet with their attentions pulled by the radio and the road, Sean continued to rile them up. He could get under Nikki's skin as well. It might've taken him awhile, but he could be just as annoying and ruthless.
He shouldn't have been, though. He shouldn't have distracted Nikki. Because she was distracted by his kicks and too busy yelling at him, she didn't notice the car running the red light. If she had, maybe she would've stopped. If Sean hadn't been messing with his sister, she would've noticed the car speeding towards them, and she would've stopped. But Nikki didn't stop. She kept going through the green light, yelling at her annoying little brother and not knowing the danger hurtling her way. Until it was too late.
The car slammed into Nikki. There was a massive flash of light. There was a huge bang. Glass and blood sprayed everywhere. Although Sean was left completely unscathed, Nikki was dead on impact. Her deep brown eyes remained open, staring glassy and cold at her brother. Blood covered every inch of her mangled body. It seemed to pour out of her everywhere- her head, her chest, her abdomen. It wouldn't stop. His sister just kept bleeding and staring at him. There was nothing he could do to stop it. Not then. His sister was dead, and it was all his fault. He had killed her. Sean had killed Nikki.
Alex was pulled out of her peaceful sleep by Sean groaning painfully. He had spent the night at her apartment, and after a great dinner and some fun in bed, they slept happily in each other's arms. Alex had hoped they could then sleep-in and have a relaxing, blissful morning. But Sean had a nightmare, waking her up. As she turned to face him, she could see pain and horror etched deeply into his features. Whatever he was dreaming about had him absolutely terrified. She had to wake him immediately. Sleep was supposed to be the one thing that didn't torment them. They should've been at peace then, "Whoa. Hey. Sean. Hey. It's alright. You're alright."
With an audible gasp, Sean startled awake. He frantically reached for anything that might steady him, and he found Alex. Thankfully, she was already there ready to soothe him. She held him gently and softly rubbed his back. He tried to even his breathing, and he tried to tell himself that it was only a nightmare. But it took a lot of convincing. Alex whispering comforting words in his ear helped a little. However, he was still stuck in the car with his dead sister. Nikita wasn't actually dead; she was far from it. Sean's rationality just couldn't battle his lingering nightmare. He couldn't think, and he certainly couldn't talk, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"It's fine. I'm fine," Sean shook his head. He knew that venting his fear would allow him to move on from it. Except, he didn't want to voice that night terror aloud. It didn't only exist inside his head. That moment had been so very real. He had watched his sister die in a car crash when they were kids. It might've been faked. But the memory was still real, and palpable, and a lie others continued to believe in. Talking about it wouldn't fix anything; it would just drag others down. For once, it was better to ignore the topic and move on in silence, "Let's just rest."
Although Alex was prepared to argue, Sean silenced her with a gentle kiss. She sighed. She didn't like how quiet he wanted to stay about his nightmare. But considering how freaked he had been about it, she decided to give him some space. She turned in his arms, her back pressed against his chest. He kissed the back of her neck and tightened his arms around her abdomen, and she relaxed. Sean continued to place tender kisses along her skin while his hands softly explored her warm body. Knowing Alex was there with him in every possible way helped calm his racing mind. He could stay in the present with her. He could just breathe with her near.
As he cherished every inch of his girlfriend, Sean paid special attention to her butterfly tattoo. He had always liked the intricate lines that lied between her shoulder blades. It was very fitting of who Alex was; despite her adversity, she grew beautiful, strong, and powerful. Her butterfly tattoo had far more meaning than the rest of her simple tattoos. He wondered what the exact story behind it was. Sean knew Alex used to catch butterflies with her family when she was little. Yet her tattoo had to mean more than that. There had to be some specific reason she wanted it permanently on her skin, "Are you ever going to tell me what this is about?"
"Are you ever going to tell me about your deployment?" Alex deflected far too quickly. Although the way her boyfriend traced and kissed her skin soothed her, she couldn't help put tense up as he paid attention to her butterfly tattoo. Their peaceful morning had already been interrupted by his nightmare. She didn't want to ruin it completely by talking about the brothel. She couldn't deal with the memories. And she definitely couldn't deal with the sympathetic look he'd give her. Alex never wanted Sean to think of her that way. What had been done to her had been traumatic enough. She didn't need her love seeing her any differently.
"I leave in two weeks," Sighing, Sean went along with Alex's topic change. They seriously needed to talk about his deployment. At dinner with his sisters, he had promised that they'd talk about it later, yet he kept putting it off. He simply wanted to spend time with his girlfriend without thinking that he wouldn't be able to hold or kiss her for who knew how long. He also didn't want Alex to start worrying about him. There was enough to be stressed about with Division, Amanda, and the blue files. Sean couldn't add to it.
"Two weeks?" Shooting upright, Alex tried not to shout. She failed. What did Sean mean he was shipping out in two weeks. That was way too soon. That didn't leave them any time to keep enjoying their relationship and just be together. He was going to be gone again far too soon after she had gotten him back. That wasn't fair. Sean and Alex deserved to spend more time together. They deserved to mess around, to relax, to just be. He couldn't leave her. Or his family. Or the team. How could Division finish the war without his help. Did they know he was leaving. Did he tell all his sisters. Or was he only holding back from her, "Does Nikita know?"
"I was going to tell everyone when the time was right. But everything's been so crazy. And I didn't want you guys to also stress about me leaving," Sean admitted sheepishly. He really should've told Alex as soon as he knew about his deployment. He should also tell Nikita. But, again, with Amanda, the Dirty Thirties, Michael's hand, the new blue files, and that group that his sister was worried about, Sean couldn't be the source of more stress. Maybe that was a terrible and redundant excuse, yet it was still true. The team faced almost too much stress. More couldn't come from their teammates- from people who were supposed to relieve their anxiety.
"You're a Seal. We should be used to it, right?" Mumbling, Alex struggled not to call bullshit on his excuse for holding back. They could handle more stress than he thought. And they wouldn't be so worried about him they couldn't focus on other things. Sean was a Navy Seal. he was trained to handle the worst. He'd also have a highly skilled team watching his back and the military ensuring he made it home. Sean was safer with the Seals than with Division. After all, that was where he thrived. It was his job. He'd always run off to save the world.
"It's part of my job. I dedicated my whole life to it. It's who I am. The good stuff and the bad," Sean sat up against the pillows and reached for Alex's hand. She let him hold it and squeeze tight. He didn't like that he had to leave either. Yet that was just a part of his service. He had to leave his loved ones in order to make the world safer for them. That seemed like a fair drawback. Besides, he was never going away forever. He'd be back. He'd fight everyday to return to his family, his friends, and his love.
Studying their entwined fingers, Alex sighed. She didn't know why she had expected Sean to be glued to her side forever. Just because they were in a relationship it didn't mean that they led the same exact lives. First of all, they had different family members that called for their attention on different days. Second, they had different responsibilities outside of Division that they had to take care of. And third, they had different ideas on how they could help people. While she was committed to bringing the agents in Division home, he was focused on giving people around the world a home. They were bound to separate one day, "I know."
Keeping their fingers locked with one hand, Sean gently lifted Alex's chin with the other. Yes, they were going to be apart. But they didn't reflect on their relationship. He wasn't deploying because of her. He was with the Seals to keep the world safe, just like she had done by staying in Division. They were two different superheroes on two different paths, yet they were still together, "This has nothing to do with us. I'm not leaving you. Or my family. Or the team. I'm just doing the job I was meant to do. I'll be back as soon as I can. And I'll keep in contact the whole time. You're not losing me. Ever."
Smiling softly, Alex kissed Sean. He didn't have to say all that. She had known that- more than she had known what it meant for him to be a Seal. Since they were together, he had made it clear that he was there to stay. No matter what, he was going to be with her, supporting her, loving her, and adoring her. She didn't have to worry about that. They'd find a way to make their relationship work while he was gone. Both committed enough to stay together throughout it all, "Yeah. I know that too."
"This is just a glimpse of what our future will hold," Kissing Alex again, Sean grinned adoringly. Once their war with Division was over, and there were no threats from the President or Amanda to worry about, the couple could have more moments like that one. They wouldn't have a single care in the world besides how they were going to spend their days together. Yes, he'd still be in the Seals, and she'd still be doing some kickass thing. But that would just be their normal jobs that they lived their normal lives around- maybe even built a family around. It'd be as close to perfect as possible.
"Our future?" Pulling slightly away, Alex glanced at Sean in confusion. He was seriously thinking that far ahead. She couldn't even think about how the next two weeks were going to go, and he could envision a bright future for them. Although a part of her was endeared by that fact, she couldn't think that far ahead. She wanted to. But she had never been able to picture a real future for herself, let alone a future with anyone (besides some drug induced trip that she doubted was even a real image of her future or simply a pipedream). Except, if Sean could see that, she had to know. She wanted to see what he could.
"Don't you want that?" Attempting to swallow down his instant panic, Sean asked. He probably held Alex's hand a little too tight, yet he couldn't let go. He thought she had wanted a future with him. They were committed to each other. They loved each other. A future had to follow that, didn't it. Maybe she did want a future, but it looked drastically different than what he envisioned. The two different paths they were on led to two completely separate destinations- they never reconverged.
Shifting closer to Sean on the bed, Alex hastily attempted to clarify what she meant. Of course she wanted a future with Sean; she wanted a long future with him. She just wanted to know what he thought about them so she could think about it too. They could talk about their expectations and where they believed they were headed. They could express how much they loved each other and how much their relationship meant to them; it was a real thing that they were going to commit to for as long as possible. But then her burner phone rang. The outside world was calling, and she had to answer, "Hey. Can we call you back?"
"You and Sean need to come in. Amanda just struck. And it really doesn't look good for the Pierces," Ryan instructed. Alex instantly felt her anxiety claw its way up her chest and choke her throat. If Ryan's stern tone of voice didn't tip her off that things were about to go terribly for the Pierce siblings, then the fact that Nikita didn't call did. She and Michael had just returned from their time off. She would've known when Amanda had struck, and she would've immediately rallied the troops to go kill the bitch. But Nikita didn't call Alex, Ryan did. What kind of hell did Amanda just unleash.