Chapter 8 – Ascent

As soon as Donkey stepped through the rift, his senses seemed to vanish. He felt nothing, heard nothing, saw nothing. Nothing but emptiness. The kind of void devoid of even darkness. Then, slowly, he began to feel something cold around him. Ah, that's right, Donkey thought to himself. They must have buried my body.

Darkness filled his vision and he could almost hear a passing car through the dirt in his ears. The dirt was everywhere else as well. He could taste it in his mouth and feel it press in as he struggled to move. He could feel it in places where dirt should absolutely not be. How he was breathing, he didn't know, but he could smell a strong, earthy scent fill his lungs. He squirmed some more and the dirt began to shift. In response, Donkey began to desperately struggle upward, his whole body squirming as he finally began to run out of oxygen. Then, he broke through to the surface, gasping for air. He pulled himself out of the hole he had been buried in and collapsed. Satan could have given me a little warning that I'd be reentering my old body.

After lying there for some time, recovering from almost experiencing his second death, Donkey climbed to his feet and looked around. It appears that Shrek and Barry had buried him in the backyard, not too far from the firepit they had burned him in. It was night, thankfully, so Donkey didn't have to worry about the neighbors panicking over the undead. Donkey chuckled at that. Technically, he was a zombie now.

He looked up at Shrek's house, where Barry was living his life with Shrek. The lights were on. Good. Shrek would just panic if a second Donkey woke him up in the middle of the night. Although unknown to Shrek, the second Donkey is the one he's been sleeping with. Damn bee. This time, Barry will be the one going to Hell.

Donkey marched up to the back door and hesitated. What if Barry didn't remember his real identity either? What if he really believed himself to be Donkey?

But more importantly, what if Shrek didn't believe him?

Donkey heard voices coming. He quickly ducked to the side, crouching under a nearby window. It didn't seem like they were coming outside, so Donkey focused on listening instead.

"Donkey, we need to talk," Shrek said inside the house.

For a brief moment, Donkey thought Shrek was talking to him. Then Barry spoke up in Donkey's voice. "About what, dear?" he said.

Shrek sighed. "You haven't been the same since we killed Barry," he said. "You've been having anger issues and acting paranoid all the time. Honestly, you remind me a little of him."

That goddamn bee is ruining my relationship! Donkey thought.

Shrek continued. "I don't know if this is just a lasting effect from your fall, or if there's something else going on, but you need to get help, Donkey. Just know that I'm always here for you."

Silence fell inside the house. "Fuck you," the fake Donkey said.

"Donkey, please, I just feel like I don't know you anymore," Shrek pleaded. "But whatever you're going through, you don't have to do it alone. Talk to me, see a therapist, I don't care. I just want you to be happy again."

"What, you think I'm not happy!?" Barry shouted in Donkey's voice. "You think that I think I'm too good for you, is that it? Well, I don't have to put up with this shit. I'm leaving."

"Donkey, please- "

"No, shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear your accusations!"

"Donk- "

"I said shut up, bitch!"

The sounds of broken furniture could be heard through the window as the argument turned physical. This had gone on long enough. Donkey stood up and ran over to the door. He tried to use the doorknob, but his hooves kept slipping off. The front door had a handle he could push down on, but he didn't want to waste time running around the house, so he turned around and kicked the door open, which was then blown into several pieces. Donkey stepped into the house and the fighting stopped as Shrek and Barry looked over to see what it was they had heard.

Shrek's eyes widened. "D-Donkey?" the green donkey said, looking between the two versions of his fiancé. "What is going on here?"

"Shrek, my love, I have returned at last," Donkey said in a gentle voice. "That man you have been living with these past weeks in none other than Barry B. Benson. He stole my face, my memories, and my life, leaving me with his before tricking you into murdering me. I was sent to Hell in his place and, after recovering my identity, the Devil recognized that I was not meant to be there. He then brought me back to life under one condition. Send him what is rightfully his. The soul of Barry B. Benson. I happily agreed to these terms."

The pair was stunned. "Wha- What the hell are you talking about?" Barry said, fear and confusion in his eyes. "I'm Donkey! I always have been! You're lying!"

"This is insane," Shrek said.

Donkey snorted. "Says the green Time Lord."

"I don't want to believe it, but it explains too much to just dismiss." Shrek said hesitantly. "I can't believe it because if it's true then that means I killed you. No, that can't have been you. That was Barry I killed. But then how are there two of you?"

"It's okay, love, take your time," Donkey said. "But we should kill this imposter before too long."

"Imposter?!" Barry looked up, more scared than ever. "No, no, I'm not the imposter! That's impossible! It is you who is the sus one here! Shrek, how the hell can you believe this thing?!"

Shrek looked the real Donkey in the eyes. "Because I love him. Go to Hell, Barry."

"I'm not Barry! I'm Donkey! I'm DonkeeeEEEEEEEEEEE!" Barry began to scream out in agony as his body began to contort and shrink while his fur turned yellow and black. His long ears twisted into antennae and his face squished into an uncanny, yellow, humanlike form. His hooves seemed to split open as they reformed into gross, little, yellow hands. His ass grew into a large abdomen with his tail replaced by a small stinger. As Barry finished turning back into himself, his screams started to die down.

"What the hell did you do to me?" Barry said in his own voice. "What the hell are these memories?! Get out of my head! I'm Donkey! I would never do any of this! Get these memories out of my head! Get them out of my head! Please, stop it! I'm not Barry! Stop it! STOP IT!"

"I'm not doing anything, Barry," Donkey said. "Those are your memories."

Shrek looked somewhat concerned. "So, are we going to kill him, or are we going to let him keep freaking out on the ground?"

Donkey sighed. "I suppose we should kill him. I'll go get the bug spray."

Donkey left the room and walked to the kitchen. He made his way to the cabinet with all the cleaning supplies in it and started rummaging around for the spray. Finally, he found an unopened can of Raid tucked away behind the Windex. He quickly grabbed it and went back to the living room.

Barry was still having an existential crisis on the floor when Donkey returned and Shrek walked over to him. "Find it?" he asked.

"Yeah," Donkey said. He went to Barry, who was now crying at the realization that he really wasn't Donkey, and uncapped the Raid before giving Barry a few sprays. The bee began to spasm for several seconds before dying. Donkey smiled, knowing that Barry was destined for an eternity in Hell.

"So, Donkey," Shrek spoke up nervously. "I'm really sorry about killing you, apparently."

Donkey smiled. "It's all good, Shrek. Even I didn't know who I really was when that happened."

The Time Lord sighed. "That's a relief. Because I was about to ask if you wanted to marry me. I already proposed when you 'returned' but it turns out that was Barry. I want to do it right. So, will you be mine until the day we die?"

"No," Donkey said. Shrek looked heartbroken but Donkey continued. "I know for sure that there's an afterlife. I want to be yours until eternity runs out."

Shrek grinned. "That sounds even better."

They lean in close to each other and begin to passionately kiss over Barry's dead body. Now that Donkey has returned from the dead and Barry is finally, probably, dead for good this time, Shrek and Donkey can live happily ever after.

The end.