Chapter 15: Healing

40 years before Encanto

"Mariposa."

Alma felt a kiss on her forehead. "Abre los ojos."

She opened her eyes to see Pedro. Alma jumped a little in surprise, but he just grinned.

"Is it a dream?" She asked suspiciously.

"Yeah." He chuckled, gently stroking her face. "You're okay. Just dreaming."

"Lucky." Alma muttered. "It was either that or I finally burned the house down, sleeping with that candle in the bed."

"Candle would never do that." A familiar voice spoke up.

Alma gasped at the sight of her sister. She sat perched on the windowsill, candle in her lap. She smiled, eyes warm with love.

"Cora?" Alma whispered.

Cora nodded, hopping down from the window and coming over. Alma made a sound somewhere between a laugh and sob as she quickly sat up, throwing arms around her. She couldn't hold her sister tight enough.

"Are you more excited to see her?" Pedro teased, and Alma nudged him with her knee, leaning into him. She had almost forgotten how easily their bodies fit into one another.

"Don't." Alma grinned, head against Pedro's as he held her. It felt so good to have his arms around her.

"I want to see them." Cora told Alma, eyes bright with excitement.

"I don't know if it works like that." Alma said softly.

"It's your dream, Mariposa." Pedro stroked her long hair from her face, looking into her eyes. "You decide."

"Hm." Alma grinned, and Pedro laughed.

"I knew you'd like that." He chuckled. "Still so bossy."

Alma blew a puff of air at him.

"Some things never change."

"Please." Cora shook Alma's hand, bouncing a little in anticipation. "I have to see them. I have to hold them."

The children cuddled up to Pedro and Cora, talking over eachother in excitement as they tried to tell them all about themselves and their powers and get to know their Papi and Tía.

"Papi, I can see things in the green." Bruno spoke proudly. "And I sometimes I see a green man."

"Wow, Oru!" Pedro grinned, his eyes sparkling as he held his son, kissing Bruno's soft hair. "So clever."

"And I can make a rainbow." Pepa announced, her feet shuffling as she danced around them. "Want to see?"

"Yes!" Cora exclaimed, and Pepa outstretched a hand, creating a shimmering rainbow over their heads. Alma couldn't help but laugh at how excited her sister got, eyes wide and shining as she covered her gasp.

"Ay que te amo, cosa linda!" Cora laughed, picking up Pepa and spinning her around. They stood under the sunshine and rainbows together and Cora looked up at the sky in amazement.

"Do you like it, Tía?" Pepa asked in a hopeful voice, then giggled as Cora covered her face with kisses, holding her close.

"I love it so, so, so much." Cora told her between kisses, then looked into her face. "But I love you even more. Such a good girl."

Pepa held her breath. "Really?"

Cora nodded quickly.

"Sometimes I make bad weather." Pepa admitted, looking down a little. "Like rain, and clouds."

"Clouds?" Cora's face lit up. "But I love them most of all! So beautiful. And I love the rain. It's like heaven sending its love, don't you think?" She smiled. "I would love to see the clouds."

"But they're the bad weather." Pepa explained. "They happen if I'm being bad."

"Hm?" Cora didn't understand. "What do you mean bad?"

"If I'm sad." Pepa told her. "Or angry."

"Oh cariño." Cora smiled. "That's not being bad. It's important for you to feel. And maybe the clouds come when you're sad because they want to help you to feel better. They always helped me when I was sad."

Alma shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the clouds, and the way Cora was using past tense. She didn't know if she liked this.

Pepa watched Cora with a soft expression. She hadn't met anyone before who liked clouds so much.

Cora knelt down, stroking her niece's face with both hands as she looked into her eyes.

"You are so special." Cora told Pepa, her face shining with sincerity. "So perfect, just as you are." She smiled. "And I love all the weather. It's always been my favourite thing in the whole world." She glanced at her nieces and nephew. "Well, until I met the three of you."

Alma scoffed playfully. "Thanks, Cora."

Her sister bit her lip, feeling embarrassed, but Alma grinned.

"Do you want to see more, Tía?" Pepa asked, her chest puffed with pride now as a rainbow floated over her head.

"Of course, of course." Cora smiled, letting Pepa take her hand and lead her away.

Bruno watched them go, then turned back to Pedro, wanting to talk to him more.

"I draw pictures too, Papi." Bruno told him. "And write stories, and make up dances and theatre and magic shows for Mami. And guess what?"

"What?" Pedro grinned, loving every word.

"I make telenovelas." Bruno was so excited that he forgot to take a breath. "And these are my rats." He brought rats out of his sleeves, holding them are up one by one and telling Pedro their names.

Pedro leaned in, taking in everything his son said. He listened as Bruno introduced each rat, shaking their paws in his fingers as he greeted them. He turned back to Alma. "He's amazing, Mariposa."

Alma nodded, wiping a tear from her face. Why did this all have to feel so real? Dios, it was going to hurt so much when she woke up.

Julieta cuddled Alma. "It's okay Mami." She gave her a reassuring smile.

"Can I hold Angel too?" Pedro asked, his face lighting up at the sight of her.

Alma took a shaky breath and nodded, encouraging Julieta to go over to him.

"You too, Mariposa." He grinned, tilting his head so Alma would come sit with them. She came over, putting her head on Pedro's shoulder and taking in his familiar scent as the four of them cuddled up close. She quietly watched Pedro's face as he interacted with their children.

"Look at you." Pedro marvelled, gently stroking Julieta's hair. "All grown up, and so beautiful."

He kissed her forehead, while Julieta watched quietly.

"Look at that wise little face." He chuckled to Alma, then turned back to Julieta. "You're an old soul, Angel."

"I'm not that old." Julieta told him.

"We actually are, Papi." Bruno corrected his sister, eyes shining bright as he held up two hands. "We're ten now."

"Really?" Pedro chuckled, "Wow. That is old. My little Abuela and Abuela." He squeezed them both and they giggled. "That means your Mama must be ancient now."

He grinned at Alma, who shook her head.

"Don't even start." Alma sighed, unable to hold back her smile.

"And what do you like to do, mija?" He asked Julieta.

Julieta hesitated, because she wasn't used to people asking.

"She cooks, Papi." Bruno spoke for her, and Pedro chuckled.

"Thank you, Oruguita." He said gently. "But how about we let Angel tell us?"

Julieta took a deep breath, dark eyes searching Pedro's.

"What do you like to do?" He prompted again.

"I like cooking, Papi." Julieta told him.

There was a moment's silence, then Julieta realised Pedro was still listening, waiting for her to continue.

Julieta shifted her eyes, unsure what to do.

"I would love to hear more about you." He encouraged.

She took a deep breath, then smiled.

"I like stories too." She admitted quietly. "I was writing one."

This took Alma by surprise, and she realised she couldn't remember the last time she'd talked to Julieta about anything besides cooking and her responsibilities.

"Oh?" Pedro smiled. "What story are you writing?"

Julieta bit her lip, excited because he so obviously cared. She liked how interested he was in what she had to say.

"You can tell me." He chuckled.

"Well, it's about a horse, Papi. She can talk." Julieta told Pedro. "But no one knows she can, because she's really quiet. And she works at a farm every day, and gets really tired, and the farmer smacks her when she's too slow."

Alma's face softened. She felt suddenly deeply ashamed, glancing at Pedro to gauge his reaction. She felt like such a bad mother.

"That sounds like sad story." Pedro said, gently kissing his daughter's forehead.

"It has a happy ending though." Julieta reassured him. "One day, the farmer leaves the fence opens and the horse breaks free, and she runs away really fast. But then she misses her friends, so she comes back. And she kicks the barn door to free the other animals. But then the farmer comes, and she thinks she will be in trouble. But when she talks to the farmer, they learn to understand eachother. And then the farmer says sorry and sets the horse free."

"Wow! I love that." He praised. "You are so, so clever. That's amazing, Angel."

Julieta's face glowed with pride.

"You like horses?" Pedro asked, and Julieta nodded. Alma watched them quietly, because she didn't know that either. Dios, did she know anything about her daughter?

"You know, your Mami knows how to ride a horse." Pedro told her. "Maybe she can teach you. Would you like that?"

Julieta nodded quickly, turning to Alma with a hopeful expression.

Pepa still hadn't left her Tia's side. They danced and laughed as they came back over.

"Papi." Pepa grinned, and Pedro held out a hand, encouraging her to join them. Pepa sprinted over, diving into Pedro's lap, her long thin legs knocking into Bruno, who pushed her back.

"Cuidado for your brother." Pedro chuckled, then kissed her face. "Hello Sunshine."

A rainbow appeared over Pepa's head at the mention of her name, and she hugged Pedro. "I love you, Papi!"

"Wow, Alma."

Alma turned in surprise at a dry voice, then she gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. Cora shrieked in excitement, scrambling to her feet.

"No invite?" Ramona smiled, arms crossed as she stood at the doorway, then was almost knocked down by Cora who embraced her.

"Is that our other Tía?" Bruno asked, while Alma nodded.

"I'm the second favourite Tía." Mona smiled, while Cora gasped, tapping her shoulder. Mona grinned at her, taking her hand as they headed over. "Even if Alma forgot to dream about me."

"Look, this all happened on its own." Alma protested, but as Mona came closer she was at loss for words.

"I miss you." Ramona hugged her, while Alma fell into her sister's embrace, crying now. "Your babies are beautiful. You did good."

"Did you live?" Was all Alma could manage to ask, tears rolling down her cheeks as she held tight to Mona. "Please, just tell me that you lived."

Mona looked back at her with a hesitant expression, and Alma's heart sank as she remembered this was just a dream.

"Try not to think of it." Mona decided.

"I think she did." Cora smiled. "You think we went through all that with Mama just for Mona to die in the street?"

"Life doesn't work like that." Alma muttered. "It's not supposed to make sense. It isn't fair how we go."

"Well, I think this can be a healing experience." Cora smiled.

"You've invited the wrong people then." Mona couldn't help but laugh. "Alma and I are all negative."

"That's true." Alma smiled.

Cora exhaled in a puff, then smiled at them.

"Come here, then." She decided, bringing her sisters in close. "We should give Alma a big hug, before she wakes up."

The sisters embraced, Alma feeling bittersweet as she remembered what it felt like.

"I wish this would be forever." Alma admitted.

"The memories will." Cora kissed her cheek. "That's our gift to you, Alma. These memories. To help you heal."

The sisters then encouraged Alma to go over to Pedro, who grinned, excited to hold her. He put his arms around Alma's shoulders as she kissed him. Pedro lifted Alma up into his arms.

Ramona made a face, while Cora just giggled.

"Look, I know this is nice for Alma." Mona sighed, "But can we just acknowledge what a nightmare this moment is for me?" She grinned. "What, do I just stand here and watch them?"

Cora shook her head with a laugh, taking her sister's hand.

"Come on," She encouraged. "Come meet your nieces and nephew. They're incredible."

The sisters came over to the children, who were waiting in anticipation.

"Angel, Sunshine and Oruguita." Mona smiled, kneeling down as the triplets approached. "Wow, you got big."

"Don't you love them?" Cora asked, leaning into her shoulder.

Ramona nodded. "I always have."

"Mami."

"Please wake up."

"She won't stop crying."

"Shh, come back a little. I think it's a bad day."

It felt like a slap in the face for Alma to wake up and return to reality. She sobbed, covering herself with the blanket as she felt children sitting on her bed.

It felt like if Alma cried for the rest of her life it still would never be enough to let out the deep sadness that she felt in her heart. It was like inside of her was blackened and toxic, and it ate away at her, hurting anyone else who came near her too.

"Go away." Alma snapped, her tone harsh with grief. "Get out of here. I don't want to see you."

"It's christmas, Mami." Bruno reminded her gently.

"I don't care." Alma sobbed, the guilt only making it worse.

Alma heard the sound of thunder and it just made her cry harder. Cora had said such nice things about Pepa's weather. And she'd felt so real. And Pedro, and Ramona. It'd all felt so real. Too real.

It thundered again and Alma shuddered.

"Just stop it, Pepa!" She shouted from under the blanket, then broke down into more sobs.

Alma heard soft whispering as her daughter tried to change the weather. "Clear skies, clear skies."

There was a hand stroking her from the other side of the blanket. Alma covered her mouth, closing her eyes as her body shook.

"Sana sana, colita de rana." Julieta'a voice was soft and comforting. "Shh. It's okay, Mami. You're okay. We're all here. It was just a bad dream."

Alma sobbed, because it wasn't a bad dream. That's the point. Waking up was the bad part.

She felt the three of them snuggling up to her in the bed, and very slowly and carefully, Julieta pulled back the blanket, looking into Mama's watery eyes. Alma turned away, feeling ashamed.

"We're here for you, Mami." Julieta reassured her, gently stroking Alma's hair. "Do you want to stay in bed today?"

Alma took a shaky breath, then shook her head. If it were a normal day, she would've said yes. But this was a special day for them. She had to be strong and keep going, for them.

She searched Julieta's concerned eyes, then looked over at Pepa and Bruno. Her son was cuddled up to Pepa with his hood on, while her daughter took deep breaths, stroking her braid in her hands as she fought off the clouds. She put on a brave smile when she saw Mama watching.

"Did you like your presents?" Alma mumbled breathlessly, and they nodded.

"Niño Jesús knew just the right paint I was looking for, Mami." Bruno told her proudly. "The glowy ones."

"And he knew the toy I wanted too." Pepa agreed with a smile, revealing a little dragon in her hand.

"Me too." Julieta added, and Alma saw Julieta was cuddling her soft toy capybara to her chest.

"That's because he's always watching." Alma told them, then winced because it hurt to say that.

Alma wiped her eyes, forcing herself to sit up. This is how it went. The days went on regardless, whether Alma was ready for them or not. She had to keep moving forward. There wasn't time to sit and attempt to heal. Alma just needed to walk off the hurt, and pray it would heal on its own.

"Niño Jesús got a present for you too, Mami." Pepa observed with a smile, pointing to a wrapped gift by her bed.

Alma's face softened. She glanced up at the Candle and it glowed. Casita clacked it's tiles in excitement, moving the present along the tiles and bouncing it up onto the bed. It was something large and flat. Alma guessed it might be a canvas. Her eyes darted to the window, and the curtain waved in encouragement.

The triplets watched with eager smiles, curious to see what was inside.

"Will you open it for me?" Alma asked them, and they nodded in excitement, the three of them quickly ripping at the paper.

Alma put her hands over her mouth.

It was a picture of Pedro, framed so they could put it up on the wall. It was the same picture she had in her little gold container, but this one was big enough so the children could admire it too.

"Papi!" Pepa grinned, recognising his face.

"That's a good present, Mami." Bruno smiled at her. "Now we can see Papi every day."

Alma took a sharp breath, turning her head away, not because she didn't like it, but because she loved it and was crying so much she didn't want her tears to ruin it.

Julieta hugged her, and Alma held on tight.

Glancing over her little daughter's shoulder, Alma saw Candle glowing and Casita waving to her. She gave them a shaky smile.

"Thank you." She whispered.