Leaving Brazil was harder than Santana had anticipated. Up until the plane took off she kept expecting Brittany to say she couldn't do it. To burst into tears and tell Santana to continue the tour without her. But that didn't happen. Though there were tears from both of them, they boarded the plane and it took off, with both of them on it. If asked, Santana wouldn't really be able to say how her stay in Colombia went. It was only five days but it felt like a year. She kept imagining that some other Brazilian family were at that moment filing for adoption of the two precious babies she'd just left behind and the worst part was that it was entirely possible. It wasn't her anxiety or pessimism messing with her head. Eric had told them that there was no guarantee they would get the twins. There was a high demand for new borns in the adoption world, apparently. The only thing that helped them was that because they were born premature, the boys would have to stay in the hospital for a few months on ventilators. Santana just hoped they could get back before they were taken off them. She wanted to be the first person to hold them without all the tubes.
To keep her mind from going to the worst case scenario, she threw herself fully into every concert. She arrived early for rehearsals and gave everything she had into choreography. She would make every minute she had to be away from the two newest loves of her life worth it.
Her and Brittany's wedding anniversary came when they were in Argentina. Instead of moping around and feeling depressed, Brittany organised a whole day of fun activities. It distracted them both enough to actually relish the fact that they had now been married for a year. One whole year. It put some things into perspective for Santana. Like the fact that teenage her would have had a heart attack if she knew she was touring the world at sold out shows. She decided to appreciate it as best she could.
Asia was nothing like she'd imagined. Everyone was nicer than the last person she met. They made her feel like she was a president or queen or something, always bowing or kissing her hand. In India Brittany even managed to convince her to explore, much like in Brazil, and they ended up at a festival she learned was called Njangattiri Aanayoottu. To Brittany's immense delight, it was a festival centred around Elephants. Real elephants. Real elephants that you could feed and touch and take pictures with. Santana had never seen Brittany so excited in her life. They made a note to come back to India some time in March for the festival of colours, which their native guide told them was a must see.
From India they went to Japan, and Santana fell in love. She loved how similar Tokyo was to New York, but also how different it was. Most of all, she loved the energy. It made her understand some people's obsession with K-pop.
Loud screaming filled the night air. Thousands and thousands of voices forming one solid wall of impenetrable sound that hit Brittany so hard she felt like her entire body was vibrating and her head was being compressed. She clasped her hands over her ears and shut her eyes, wondering why on earth she had decided to sit in the crowd. Standing up quickly, she jumped over the small gate that separated the crowd from the stage, helped by one of the security guards, and jogged backstage, feeling her body relax as the sound got slightly quieter.
"Hi Brittany" she heard someone call. Without turning around to see who it was she waved her hand in the air, looking around at the signs around her to see where she was. Finding what she was looking for she ran down the corridor, gracefully avoiding the dozens of people bustling around. A few called out to her, asking if she was lost, but she ignored them. Finally, she turned a corner into a corridor that was significantly darker than the rest of the building, and she slowed down. She walked calmly, looking at each door intently before moving on and humming a tune that had been stuck in her head for two weeks. Finally she stopped at a door that was black just like all the others, but had a yellow sticker just by the handle. Smiling to herself she ran her finger over it, then pushed the door open and slipped inside.
As soon as she closed the door behind her she was pushed against it, warm lips encasing hers. She hummed into the kiss, bringing both her hands to wrap around a slender, slightly sweaty waist.
"What took you so long?" Santana asked, briefly disconnecting their lips so that she could kiss down Brittany's neck. Brittany exhaled slowly, happily, closing her eyes at the feel of Santana's tongue just below her ear and trying not to shudder.
"I had to come from further away" she husked, the words barely audible as she strained to contain the groan threatening to bubble out as Santana bit down on a sensitive spot on her neck and her hands wormed their up her sides, grazing the side of her breasts. Santana grunted in response, moving back up to Brittany's mouth as she pushed her own body harder into Brittany's.
This time Brittany couldn't contain the moan. She loved feeling Santana's body against her, especially now when Santana was wearing so little and her hands had access to so much warm, pulsing skin. She grabbed Santana's barely covered ass, forcing their bodies impossibly closer together and making Santana moan, and lightly nipped Santana's bottom lip. Brittany smiled. She loved this; the teenage-like passion that she and Santana seemed to have rekindled when they landed in Asia. It had taken them a few days in each other's company to finally talk over the fight they had had in Rio, to talk over the entire situation really, and by the time their 27 hour journey from Argentina to Japan had ended, their relationship was well beyond mended. Two and half weeks going round Asia and they had spent every second they could, wrapped in each other's arms. And Brittany was loving it. It reminded her of how they were in high school once Santana had come out and was no longer scared of being caught. Constantly craving each other, never being able to get enough. Every touch sending electrifying chills up her spine.
"Fuck I need you now" Santana murmured against Brittany's lips, her hands, having slipped under Brittany's shirt, now both gripping her breasts, her thumbs rubbing circles around Brittany's nipples. Brittany shuddered, already feeling like her legs would not support her for much longer. She grabbed the hem of Santana's tiny tank top and hastily pulled it over her head, pulling down the straps of her bra and unclipping it immediately after. She dragged her nails down Santana's back eliciting another delicious moan from her, as she made her way down to her shorts. She teased around the waist, dipping a finger in as she traced around the edges, using the belt loops to pull Santana's waist against hers.
Santana pulled back slightly, lifting Brittany's shirt over her head and pulling the already unclasped bra down her arms, letting it fall to the floor, before attacking her neck with renewed vigour. She bit down every so often, smirking at the small moans and hisses Brittany gave, nimbly unbuttoning her jeans. Brittany's head was leaned back against the door, her eyes shut in ecstasy and her breathing fast and heavy. It took her a moment to realise that Santana had stopped, but as soon as she did and her eyes opened to see what Santana was doing, Santana pulled down her jeans and underwear forcefully, lowering herself to the ground and smirking up at Brittany.
"Fuck" Brittany said, exhaling heavily as she felt like her entire body was engulfed in flames. How could Santana be so sexy? As Santana brought her face forward, dangerously close to her pussy, Brittany struggled to keep her eyes open, wanting to commit this image to her memory forever. Santana placed her hands on the inside of Brittany's thighs and pushed gently, telling her to open them wider, and Brittany did not even waste a second before she complied, her chest heaving as she struggled to keep oxygen in her lungs.
Santana kissed once on the inside of each thigh where her hands had been, then suddenly and quite without warning, she dragged her tongue through Brittany's folds. Brittany's hands flew outwards, searching for anything to hold on to, anything to steady herself as her entire body shook with pleasure.
"Fuck…Fuck…Fuck" she said between rapid breaths. The combination of the excitement of watching Santana dance sexily on stage for hours and sneaking away to a closet like teenagers, had Brittany already wound so tightly that she didn't think it would be long before she was coming undone. She gripped Santana's shoulder, nails digging into the skin, as Santana sucked her clit into her mouth. Her other hand moved to her breast, palming it. Santana moaned and let her clit pop from her mouth gently.
"You're so hot Britt" she said in a voice hoarse with arousal. Brittany dropped her eyes so she was looking directly at Santana, though her eyes were only half open. Keeping her eyes locked on Brittany's, Santana retook her clit into her mouth, this time bringing two fingers to tease at Brittany's entrance.
"Oh god" Brittany said in a low voice, the words coming out almost like a growl and her eyes fluttering closed.
"You like that baby?" Santana asked, dipping her fingers in only an inch before pulling them out again. Brittany nodded her head not lifting it from the door, and moaned loudly as Santana went in a little further. "I'm gonna fuck you so good" Santana told her, licking through her folds and flicking her clit as she pushed her fingers in. Brittany moaned again, bucking her hips. "Do you want that?" Santana asked. Brittany nodded frantically, every cell in her body aching for Santana to be inside her properly.
"Tell me what you want B" Santana said. The rasp of Santana's voice sent a whole new wave of arousal shooting through Brittany's body so that she bucked her hips again and felt more wetness drip from her already soaking pussy. "Fuuuck" Santana moaned, "You're so wet Britt, tell me what you want baby"
"I want you to fuck me Santana" Brittany said, her voice stronger than she had been expecting. She looked down at Santana. "I want you to fuck me hard." Santana closed her eyes for a second, trying to push down her own arousal, licked her lips, and then drove her fingers deep into Brittany.
Thirty minutes later, Brittany and Santana walked back down the corridor, grinning madly and fully sated. For now.
"We're so awesome" Brittany said in an airy voice, feeling so happy she could burst. Santana laughed and took Brittany's hand, pulling her faster round the corner.
"We're so late. I bet Eve is about to lose it. And don't even get me started on Emma." Brittany laughed. "Don't mention what we were doing B. She'll suspect it but won't say anything unless you mention it so don't." Santana said, trying to sound serious but failing as she grinned at Brittany. Brittany zipped her mouth and pretended to throw away the key. "Good"
"SANTANA" A voice yelled as they turned a third corner. Santana looked at Brittany quickly, suppressing giggles and walked faster.
"I know I know…I'm really sorry." Santana started, avoiding looking at Brittany, knowing she'd burst out laughing if she did.
"We've been looking all over for you for almost forty five minutes. Nobody knew where you'd gone, you'd just disappeared off the stage" Eve said, her face red and puffed up. She looked highly agitated. Santana tried to feel sorry, but she was a grown woman. She didn't need to ask permission to have a few minutes with her wife. Instead of apologizing again, because she knew it was fruitless, she opted for looking sorry.
"Are you going to tell us where you've been?" Emma said, sounding like she was trying very hard not to shout.
"With my wife" Santana said, feeling slightly annoyed at the way she was being treated. Eve softened immediately at her tone, but Emma scoffed.
"You have a meet and greet in five minutes. You haven't showered, changed, rested-"
"Who said she wasn't resting?" Brittany said. Santana fought the urge to laugh at the purely innocent voice Brittany was using. She bit her top lip and chose to look at the security guards around them instead of Emma or Eve, lest she give away Brittany's act.
"Oh?" Emma said unconvinced. "Why couldn't you rest in her changing room?"
"Who said she has to?" Brittany asked simply. "And honestly with you people always coming in and out, the band, hair and make-up and god even knows who else, it's not really rest. She was better off with me"
Santana was impressed. She had been with Brittany, yet even she was becoming convinced that their sneaking away had been completely innocent. She chanced a glance at Emma, and was surprised to find that she looked significantly more relaxed, even sorry.
"Yeah ok…" she finally said, looking at Santana. "Just go take the fastest shower of your life and get out there. We can't be late for this or we'll miss our flight to South Africa." Santana groaned at the thought of another plane ride, but allowed herself to be dragged into her dressing room by Eve.
"Brittany's good" Eve said when the door was closed. Santana turned to face her, eyes wide in shock.
"What…Uh…what do you mean?" she asked hesitantly, looking at Brittany.
"She almost had me" Eve said, winking at Brittany, who winked back.
Santana always loved meet and greets. She always loved meeting her fans anyway, but at meet and greets they were significantly more calm. This meant that without all the screaming and crying, she could actually talk to them. For two hours, she sat at a table signing autographs and taking pictures. She heard hundreds of stories from hundreds of fans, trying her best to understand those who couldn't really speak English. Weeks of touring foreign countries though, had robbed her of the shame in asking people to repeat themselves, or else for someone else to translate. When the time came for her to finally leave, she stood up and took the microphone from Eve.
"Hey everyone!" she shouted into the mic. The call to attention was unnecessary because everyone's eyes were on her already, but the room did become significantly quieter.
"I just wanted to thank you all so much for coming out tonight" Everyone clapped and cheered at this, and Santana laughed modestly. "No seriously. Thank you guys. It's because you're all so awesome that I get to come out here and live my dream, and honestly it means so much to me that you connect with my music like this-" her words were cut off by a few screams of 'we love you Santana'. She laughed. "I love you too. I genuinely love all of you guys. I'm really going to miss Tokyo, it's definitely one of my all-time favourite cities." Everyone cheered loudly as she finished talking, handing back the mic and blowing kisses to the crowd. As she made to walk out of the room however, Eve pulled her back. She raised an eyebrow questioningly at her.
"They have something they wanted to tell you too" Eve told her. Santana looked back at the crowd and saw a woman in the middle, standing on a chair with a microphone.
"My English is…is not that good I'm sorry" the girl began. She looked about the same age as Santana, maybe younger. Santana quickly took the mic back from Eve.
"You're English is great don't apologise. What's your name?" Santana had made sure, when she had decided to go around the world, that she had mastered the art of speaking slowly and clearly, without it being condescending. She had practiced it so often that it now came naturally to her, so that she only really spoke normally when she was in Brittany's presence. Something about being around Brittany distracted her mind enough that she forgot what she was supposed to be doing.
"Yua" the girl said, blushing profusely. "We want to thank you…so much, for coming to Tokyo. You say…said…we love you music, but we also love you. You are inspire to us…" she paused and bent to talk to someone next to her. "An inspiration to us…sorry." Santana muttered a quiet 'that's ok' in the mic, smiling. "You make us to believe that it is ok to be ourselves, and for me especially, you mean the most to me" her voice was shaking with emotions, a few tears falling from her eyes. Santana pursed her lips and placed her hand over her heart, thoroughly moved. "You mean the most to all of us, and coming here to Tokyo, meeting with us like this here, it just shows how amazing you are. And we thank you so much." She finished in a very quiet voice, her words drowned out by her sobbing, but Santana heard them loud and clear. She walked around the table to where the girl was standing. Yua jumped down from the chair, clearly fighting hysterics.
"Can I give you a hug?" Santana asked quietly, though Yua's microphone picked up her voice and carried it across the room. She nodded vigorously, and Santana pulled her in, wrapping her arms around her. Being held by Santana seemed to be too much for Yua to handle, and her entire body shook with the force of her tears, though she held Santana weakly, like she was trying not to hurt her. Santana shushed her comfortingly, rubbing up and down her back and feeling close to tears herself.
"Thank you so much telling me all those things. It means more than you know to me Yua. Is there something else you want to say?" Santana asked gently. Yua nodded. "Is it about why I mean so much to you?" Yua nodded her head, slowly removing herself from Santana's embrace and trying valiantly to pull herself together. She opened her mouth to speak, but Santana stopped her, taking the microphone out of her hand.
"Thank you so much everyone. This night, and really all my time in Tokyo has been amazing. I'll definitely come back. Have a good night" she said to the rest of the crowd. She waved at them as she walked, pulling Yua with her, and blew one last kiss before walking out of the room and towards her dressing room.
"Eve, please give us a few minutes" she said once they had entered her room. Brittany was lying across one of the couches with headphones on, but took them off quickly when she saw Yua and stood up. Yua began crying again at the sight of Brittany, clutching Santana's hand harder than she was aware of, making Santana look round to see what was wrong. She smiled when she saw Brittany, mouthing a, 'hi babe'. Brittany smiled back and walked forward a bit, though not much as with every step she took Yua seemed to descend further into tears.
"Of course….but Santana-"Eve began, but Santana cut her off with a sharp look. "I'll come back in a few minutes then"
"I'll call you when we're done" Santana said forcefully. She rarely ever gave Eve orders, mostly because she trusted Eve to be in charge and felt awkward acting like her boss when the woman was almost twice her age, but in certain situations, like this one, Santana did not like to be controlled.
Eve nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door.
"Should I go too?" Brittany asked quietly, as Santana put her arms around Yua and steered her towards the couch.
"No. No. No. I'm…sorry…sorry. No" Yua was shaking her head frantically. Her eyes were darting quickly from Santana to Brittany, no longer crying but breathing very quickly.
"Yua please" Santana said, her voice full of concern. She had seen this before in many fans, and if Yua didn't calm down soon, she would have a panic attack. "Please sit down. You can talk to us ok…please just relax."
Yua nodded, fixing her eyes on Santana and seeing the kind smile she had. She took a deep breath and sat down next to her, placing her hands on her knees. After a few minutes, Brittany felt it was safe to speak. She looked at Santana.
"What's wrong?" she asked quietly. It was Yua who answered though.
"My parents…they kick me out a few months ago." She said quietly, looking directly at Santana. "They say that what I am is…disgraceful. That I shame them. My father, he believed that if I stay in the house I would bring bad luck. He said he would allow me to go, and not tell anyone else in the family, so that I could at least pretend to have some honour."
Brittany bowed her head sympathetically, and Santana covered Yua's hand with her own.
"I'm so sorry Yua" she said quietly, not really knowing what to say, and remembering when her grandmother had said almost the same thing to her. Yua sat up straighter, looking proud.
"But then…I thought of you…I thought of how you said you were scared all the time, and sad and angry" Santana nodded, "and I said to my father, to tell them all, because I wanted them to know. I didn't want to them to continue talking to me, to say they love me, when they didn't know all the things about me." Santana nodded again, and Brittany placed her hand on her knee and squeezed it. "My father was angry, but he said he at least was glad to see I was going to carry my burden with truth and strength, instead of hiding. He said because of this he would not force me to remove his name. That meant that anyone is my family who did not fear the bad luck, could still talk to me if they wished. I did not think that any of them would. But my auntie, my favourite auntie, she said that my bravery came from the ancestors, which meant that they had not forsaken me, and that bad luck was unlikely. It took a few months, but eventually more of my family believed her, after seeing nothing bad happen to either us. My mother still refuses to talk or look at me, my grandparents either, but my brother and father call me sometimes, to see how I am, and I live with my auntie. She's the one who bought me the tickets to come see you today, after I told her that it was you who gave me the strength that save me."
Santana was crying silently. She was filled with a mixture of pride, happiness and shock. By now she had gotten used to fans telling her what an inspiration she and her music was, but she rarely ever heard the actual ways in which they drew strength from her. She had assumed in large part that it was her lyrics that people connected with, as well as the fact that she was openly gay. She had never thought it was actually her own personal story, her personal struggles, that people were looking to. She rarely ever talked about it, usually just sticking to describing how she felt. Now however, she felt it may be time to say the actual story. She looked at Brittany, who was looking at Yua with a watery smile, trying not to cry.
"I have you to thank for the life I have now." Yua said to Santana. Santana shook her head. "Yes."
"No. you are the one who was brave enough to tell them."
"But I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for you. Whatever you say. You saved me." Santana shook her head again but smiled.
"Let's say I helped, but you did the hard part." She suggested, hugging Yua tightly.
"Are you feeling better?" Brittany asked her, standing up and going to pour her water.
"Yes…I just could not believe I was talking to you, and then…" she looked at Brittany as she passed her the water and looked about to cry again. "I still can't believe. You're both so kind."
Brittany smiled at her. "And you're amazing. I know I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. What you did isn't easy, and Santana is right, she may have helped, but that kind of strength only comes from yourself."
Yua choked on her water as she burst into tears again. This time though, she stood up quickly before either woman could hug her again.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I love you two so much. I love you." There was a knock on the door and Eve peaked through hesitantly. Santana glared at her, but Yua nodded. "You have to go. I know you are busy. Very busy. I'm sorry"
"Stop saying you're sorry" Brittany said laughing. "It's really ok, right S?"
"Yeah. It's more than ok. Thank you for talking to us. I know I've said this before tonight, but it means so much when fans open up to me. Thank you."
"Thank you" Yua said with her hands against her chest, looking close to hyperventilating again. She threw herself at Brittany, hugging her quickly, then she moved to Santana and gave her the same quick hug. "I'll go. Thank you Santana" she said, pausing to look seriously into Santana's face, then she rushed out of the door.
"Eve" Santana said sternly, trying to contain the irritation in her voice. Brittany stepped towards her and placed her hand on her lower back, trying to calm her down.
"Santana I'm very sorry, but you have to be at the airport in less than an hour. You cannot miss this flight or you'll be late for your meet and greet in South Africa. I'm sorry"
"Thanks Eve" Brittany said. Her tone was polite, but it told her quite plainly that she was dismissed. She nodded and closed the door.
"Santana, Eve's just doing her job"
"I know. But so am I. If she had it her way I wouldn't have even talked to Yua at all. And imagine that? The whole point of this" she brandished her hand around the room, "is the fans. It's not just about singing, and signing photos, it's about the connection. Like what just happened." Brittany nodded in understanding. "I just can't take much more of the way she and Emma keep shuffling me around as though I can't make my decisions. If it were possible I'd continue this tour without them."
"This tour wouldn't run without them." Brittany said laughing gently. "Look, we have a long flight coming up, and we can talk to them about it. But you know as well as I do that they are the way they are because they need to be. You've just been dealing with it for longer than you're used to. It's been a long tour" Santana nodded. "I think there's another reason you're so fed up S" Brittany said after a moment's silence.
Santana sighed and leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder. "Yeah."
"You feel like if the tour isn't just singing and signing photos it'll make you feel better about leaving the twins." Brittany said quietly. Santana didn't respond. There was no need. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined the tiny baby she had not held for three weeks, a heavy weight sinking in her chest.
"Does it though?" Brittany asked.
"Not really" Santana said in barely a whisper. Brittany pulled Santana to face her.
"I miss them too," she told Santana, looking into her eyes and caressing up and down her arms. "But we're going to see them in a week. Just try not to bite anyone's head off."
"I'll try" Santana said dejectedly.
"If you feel the urge, squeeze my hand and I'll take some of the edge off" Brittany said, winking at her. Santana smiled despite herself.
"I'm gonna hold you to that" she said, pecking Brittany's lips.
"Good" Brittany told her. "Now let's go before Emma comes in."
Africa, much like Asia, shocked Santana. Based on what she'd seen on the internet or in movies, she'd expected...well it was not as she'd pictured it. It wasn't the barren wasteland filled with starving malnutritioned people, and the revelation had her truly embarrassed. She'd only set three concerts in the entire continent because she'd assumed they wouldn't really be ale to accommodate large concerts, but she was wrong. South Africa was beautiful, and again, being able to see so many animals that she'd never been able to in America had Brittany buzzing with excitement the whole time they were in the country. She'd even left her window open when the hotel had told them expressly not to, hoping that a monkey would find its way inside to steal the fruits she left out every night. Exploring became a standard after stumbling across the festival in India, and though they never happened upon anything that exciting, it was nice to just see the city.
From South Africa they went to Kenya, spending four days there.
Santana pulled on the jacket one of the backstage assistants was holding out for her as she stepped down from the stage. She had not packed well for cold weather, and she had certainly not planned her performance costumes for it. Why on earth was it so cold in Kenya? Wasn't it supposed to be hot at the equator? She walked backstage without really paying attention to where she was going, just wanting to warm up a little before having to go back on stage. She spotted Brittany sitting on a couch a few feet from her, huddled under a large blanket. Even from this distance Santana could see that her wife's face was red from the cold, but even then she was still so beautiful. Maybe even more so, not to mention that she looked absolutely adorable. Brittany looked up and saw Santana. She pulled the blanket open, inviting Santana in.
"Come over here and warm me up" she said.
Santana laughed and moved into the space Brittany had made for her on the couch. "Oh honey" she said, pulling Brittany into her and rubbing her hands over the skin she could reach. "You're so cold B"
"I know" Brittany said dejectedly. "I didn't pack many long sleeves, and I wasn't expecting it to get so much colder, or I would have changed out of my shorts."
"Awww" Santana cooed.
"You're so warm though" Brittany told her, pressing her face into Santana's neck. Santana shuddered as Brittany's cold nose nudged under her chin. "Sorry" she whispered.
"It's ok B" Santana told her. "And I'm warm cause I've been dancing on stage…" she trailed off, and idea coming to her. "Hey Britt?"
"Mmmhh" Brittany hummed in response, her body already relaxing as she sucked up Santana's warmth.
"I think I have a way for you to warm up. If you're up to it"
Brittany pulled her head back and looked up at Santana, her eyebrows raised.
Twenty minutes later, Brittany could not complain about being cold anymore. She was warmed by the constant, and precise movement of her body, the bright lights all around her, the warmth of the hands and bodies of the people around her, and the thrill of facing thousands of screaming people. At first she had been hesitant to dance with Santana, not wanting to mess up the other dancers 'groove' as she put it, but then the dancers had been all too happy to have her join, one of them gladly vacating her position.
"Brittany, you worked hard on this choreography too. You should at least dance it once" she had said, changing out of her costume and looking glad for a chance to rest.
So now, here she stood, feeling a rush she hadn't even been aware she missed, slightly tired from not dancing for two months, but thoroughly enjoying herself. She was shocked by how much she had missed sharing a stage with Santana, not having realised until Santana stepped out on stage and winked at her, that the last time they had danced together was at their wedding. She held her position for another beat and then moved forward, placing her hand between Santana's shoulder blades, and rolling her hips before spinning away. It was in moments like these, when she not only watched Santana perform, but performed with her, and saw the reaction of the crowd from the stage; the adoration and elation on each of their faces, the never ending screams of love and affection, that Brittany fully appreciated how much her life had changed. This was monumentally different from performing at glee club nationals. They were not competing, they were not trying to out-do anyone, or impress any judges. They were performing for fans who loved them. Fans who knew all the lyrics to all the songs, some who even knew the dance moves. It was something special. Something meaningful. And though Brittany was obviously anxious for the tour to end, she knew it was because of the tour that she even had anything to be anxious about.
Throughout the performance, Brittany and Santana shared meaningful glances, something that told Brittany that Santana was thinking the same thing she was, and when the concert ended, they both took thirty minutes to lay on the couch in Santana's dressing room, the door locked to keep out Eve or Emma, and just silently take everything in. Since Japan, they both had been very introspective. Brittany kept thinking about how everything had to happen exactly as it had for them to end up where they were, and Santana was oddly emotional. She cried more often after meet and greets, and spent a lot of time in Brittany's arms. Not that Brittany was complaining at all, but Santana's emotions, though sweet, came with a downside that was hard to ignore. She'd been snapping at Eve since landing in South Africa, and was more than hesitant to follow instructions. She never did anything to put the tour in jeopardy, but she tended to disappear from the hotel without security, just to spite them, or else she'd show up precisely on time, just to make them a little anxious. Emma was so irritated with her behaviour that she was now only communicating to her via Eve or Brittany, and Eve was on constant edge, running around and trying to make sure there was nothing for Santana to snap at her about. Brittany had tried to talk Santana out of this behaviour, but truthfully had not put a lot of energy into it. She too was tired of the way Eve and Emma controlled them, and she was mostly tired of the way they kept asking her to 'handle' Santana. Overall, eight and a half weeks of flying around the globe had everyone on their last nerves.
On top of this there was the fact that Brittany and Santana also had to deal with their anxiety about the adoption. They had a meeting set with the adoption lawyer and social worker in two days, and they would be flying straight from a concert to get there a few hours before it.
There was a loud knock on the door that pulled them so violently from their thoughts that they both jumped, and Santana swore loudly.
"FUCKING HELL" she yelled, clutching her heart. "Who the fuck…WHAT?" She yelled at the door.
"Santana open the door this has gone on long enough" Emma said. Santana rolled her eyes.
"Yeah ok" she said under her breath. "Let me just do that." But she made no move to get up. Brittany stared at the door for a second, waiting to see if Emma would knock again. She was shocked however, when she heard the lock turning and the door flew open. Santana stood up quickly.
"Are you kidding?" she asked loudly.
"Don't yell at me." Emma said testily. "I have good and bad news"
"Why can't you tell me later? I'm resting EMMA" Santana said exasperatedly, her voice raising.
"You'll want to know now" Eve said. Santana scoffed. Emma looked at Brittany in that 'handle her' way she despised so much, making her shake her head and sit back down with her arms crossed. Emma sighed.
"I'm beginning to think that I actually only have good news" she said angrily. "This tour has gone on for way too long"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Santana asked.
"It means that your concerts in Nigeria have been cancelled." Emma said sharply. Santana frowned and looked at Eve, preferring to deal with her.
"Yes they've been cancelled. The government isn't happy about the fact that you're an open LGBTQ member and supporter. They have 'highly discouraged you' from going. We've decided that it'll be safer if you don't perform."
Santana frowned deeper still, and Brittany stood up. "But that's not fair to the fans" she said.
"And what kind of message does that send them? That we don't care that they're government is oppressing some of the population? Taking away their rights?" Santana added angrily.
"We don't really have much of a choice. If we enter Nigeria and you are suspected of spreading LGBTQ propaganda, or criticising the government, the concert is likely to be shut down. They may refuse to give us the permits we need for you to perform in the first place, you could be deported." Eve said calmly. "We've looked at it from every angle Santana."
Santana shook her head and looked away from them, choosing instead to face Brittany. Brittany was deep in thought.
"Alright. Then if she's not performing, we have to tell them why." She said finally. Santana nodded, looking back at Emma and Eve. Eve was smiling slightly, but Emma looked confused.
"What do you mean, of course we're going to tell them why. This is unjust, and undemocratic. We have a draft for you, but we both thought you'd want to say your own words. We just ask that you don't be too rude. This is still your fans' country, as much as they may not agree with its policies. They may not react well to too harsh a criticism. Stick to facts." Santana nodded.
"I got it" she said. She still wasn't pleased with them, but her initial anger had subsided.
"What's the other news?" Brittany asked.
"Well since you're not going to Nigeria, you have about…uh I'd say a week off" Eve said happily. Santana and Brittany took a moment to understand, then their eyes widened and they gripped each other, hardly daring to believe it.
"We've already booked you a flight for next Friday from Brazil to Chicago, so you can't be late" Emma looked sternly at Santana, then a small smile graced her lips. "I'll meet you there."
"Wait" Santana said, needing to clarify before allowing herself to relax. "Wait. We get to spend an entire week..." she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Eve's smile widened.
"With your boys, yes" she finished for her. Brittany let go of Santana and pulled Eve in for a tight hug.
"Oh my god!" she exclaimed.
"Yes. Yes. YES" Santana chanted, punching her hand into the air. Despite still trying to appear angry with them, Emma laughed.
"Yeah yeah…I knew you would be pleased. Now please get ready for the meet and greet. Obviously you have about an hour, but with you two I never know."
Santana, feeling a lot less irritated, smiled cheekily, but nodded. Brittany smirked.
"Also" Eve said slowly, "I might not see you again tonight, so I have to tell you, you have to be up tomorrow by five."
Santana frowned deeply at this, but her complaint was stopped before she even had a chance to voice it.
"Santana you have the complementary hotel Safari. You have to be up." Emma said quickly.
"Don't bother, I already tried to get them to push it forward. It was to begin at four originally." Eve told her quietly. Santana shut her mouth and sighed.
"Alright, we'll go" Emma said. When she reached the door, she paused and looked back at them.
"Girls" she said, suddenly sounding hesitant. Santana, who had turned to face Brittany, spun around quickly, wondering what had caused the sudden change in tone. "I uh…I may not have said it, but…" she paused again, and Brittan glanced quickly at Santana. "I'm really happy for you" she finished. Santana frowned slightly. "For you and the boys" she clarified, seeing their confused expressions. Brittany's mouth formed an 'oh' shape as she understood, and Santana looked back at her with her eyes wide.
"Thanks Emma" Brittany said genuinely. Santana nodded slowly, still a little confused about what had brought on her confession, but pleased by it none the less.
"Yeah thank you" she said. Emma nodded once, then walked out of the room. Eve hung back a moment, her eyebrows raised in shock.
"What was that about?" Santana asked her amused. Eve shook her head and shrugged.
"Maybe she thinks having kids will make you easier to work with" she joked. Santana laughed. "Though I think it'll be the opposite." She smirked and walked out of the room.
After their Safari, Brittany and Santana decided to do a live stream on Instagram, revealing the end of the international leg of the tour. It felt like a good, and more personal way, to thank all the fans and express their disappointment over Nigeria. Since it had not been a planned thing, they had not had time to tell the fans to join. They tweeted about it, and then decided to give them some time by washing the dust off their bodies from the Safari. An hour later, Brittany lay on the bed in their hotel room, naked but for the robe around her shoulders; she liked to wear them as capes rather than put her arms through the sleeves. She was scrolling through the photos they had taken, marveling at how beautiful it had been, and wishing they could have spent more time out there. Santana came out of the bathroom blow-drying her hair and humming happily. It was a mark of how amazing the Safari had been that she was so awake and cheerful without even a single cup of coffee.
"What're you doing babe?" Santana asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"Going through our pictures. Nairobi is so beautiful"
"You're so beautiful" Santana said without thinking. Brittany turned to her slowly, grinning madly, but it took a while for Santana to catch on to what she'd said. She groaned.
"Why am I never recording when you do stuff like that? No one ever believes me."
"Because there's a god out there who loves me" Santana said, standing up and trying to ignore Brittany's glee.
"You didn't even hesitate" Brittany went on, sitting up on the bed and crossing her legs. Santana groaned again from inside the bathroom as she shut off the blow drier. She walked back out and stopped abruptly, her heart rate immediately picking up.
"Makes me wonder how many comments like those you keep yourself from saying on a daily basis…what?"
"You should put on clothes" Santana said in a strained voice, looking pained at the words. Brittany looked down at herself and laughed.
"It's so easy with you" she said, standing up and making sure to brush past Santana as she walked to her suitcase.
"Have you seen yourself?" Santana countered, recovering the full strength of her voice. Brittany laughed.
An alarm went off a few seconds later.
"Oh! Oh! We have to start" Brittany said excitedly, pulling clothes faster from her suitcase and dropping the robe.
Santana pulled out her phone, locating the Instagram app and signing in.
"Hello everyone" she said happily into the camera, fixing her hair a little as she looked at herself. "I just showered so my hair's not doing great."
"Wait! Wait I'm almost ready" Brittany said, throwing on a hoodie without a shirt or bra, and tripping as she hastened to pull on underwear and shorts at the same time. Santana laughed.
"She's almost ready" she informed the camera. "Oh Britt people are already typing. Hurry u…" Santana burst out laughing. Brittany had just fallen flat on her ass, one leg stuck in her shorts, the other in her underwear.
"I think I'm gonna do it one at a time" she said sheepishly.
"Might be a good idea" Santana said, still laughing. "There's a question…HA you may want to answer this one"
"Why?" Brittany asked, standing up and now wearing underwear.
"Did we shower together?" Santana asked, looking past the phone at Brittany with an exaggerated raised eyebrow.
"HA" Brittany said, putting her head next to Santana's so her face was in view. "Wouldn't you like to now" she said, then she moved back and put on her shorts.
"Finally" Santana said, moving over on the bed and letting Brittany jump next to her.
"Hi everyone" Brittany said with a huge smile on her face and a little wave. "Oh my god there's so many" she said, seeing that it was close to 500,000 people watching the live stream.
"Yeah" Santana said. "So, we're coming to you live from Nairobi, Kenya, having just gone on a Safari that was honestly one of the best experiences of my life."
"Mine too. It was so beautiful, and the animaallls" Brittany drawled.
"We watched the sunrise too, from the Safari. Ugghh" Santana said, shaking her head, "I couldn't describe to you guys how amazing it was."
"We drank wine" Brittany added conspiratorially. Santana laughed and nodded.
"Well now that we've updated you on our morning-"
"Aaww they say we're really pretty. Thank you so much" Brittany interrupted. She was paying a lot more attention to the comments than Santana was. Santana looked at her. "Sorry S go on." She said smiling.
"We wanted to talk to all of you, and let you know thaatt…" she looked at Brittany.
"The tour is over" Brittany finished loudly, bouncing on the bed a bit.
"The tour is over" Santana echoed, laughing at Brittany's energy. "It was so much fun-"
"So much better than we could have ever imagined-"
"You all were amazing, everyone who showed up to the meet and greets, to the concerts, everyone I talked to on the street or in a shop, all of you who supported me with awesome kind words after the shows on twitter or Instagram."
"Seriously you guys are all so nice, you made her cry-"
"I didn't cry" Santana said quickly. "I was very moved though. I'm so grateful that I got the opportunity to do this, so thank you ALL, for giving this to me."
"S there's already some questions about…"
"Yes…well now we get into some really bad news." She looked at Brittany.
"The reason the international leg is ending in Kenya and not Nigeria, is because the Nigerian government doesn't want Santana to perform"
"They said they don't like the LGBTQ agenda I will be trying to spread there, so I was just told yesterday that I couldn't go. We…Brittany and I were so mad we can't even tell you."
Brittany shook her head. "We really wanted to come and meet up with you guys. We were so excited. It was a real disappointment, so we understand some of your anger over it."
"Yeah…and we're not just letting it go either. We're going to keep trying. It's just that for now, on this tour…" Santana trailed off.
"It's not going to be possible"
They were both silent for a while, Santana looking out their hotel window absentmindedly playing with Brittany's fingers, Brittany reading the comments.
"Oh yeah!" Brittany said suddenly, making Santana jumped. "Sorry baby" she said quickly. "They're asking about our anniversary"
Santana smiled broadly. "It was awesome. We had it when we were in…"
"Argentina" Brittany finished, smiling at Santana for pausing even before she spoke, knowing Brittany would want to say the country.
"What did you do….?" Santana read under her breath. "It was so great, we went hang gliding"
"That was a lot of fun. Santana couldn't stop screaming at first." Santana laughed.
"It was so high up. And we just…jumped off a cliff. I couldn't stop thinking about when Mrs Bletheim asked me, 'if Brittany told you to jump off a cliff would you'." Brittany laughed, rocking into Santana.
"Well you did tell her you would" she said after recovering. "Gosh, we got detention for a week that day"
Santana shook her head. "And Sue practically killed us in practice."
"And Quinn…oh wait" Brittany was distracted by a question. "Are you still doing the concerts in the US?"
"Oh yeah. I'm still going to do the concerts in the USA, that hasn't changed. Brittany and I just have a week off. We'll actually…" she looked at Brittany, who picked up her sentence without even looking at her.
"Be heading back to Brazil. I think we'll be going to Brazil very often from now on. We absolutely loved it there" she grinned at Santana.
"Completely fell in love with it. I bet you'll be sick of us in a few months."
"What was your favourite part of the tour?" Brittany read.
"Oh gosh…uh…the meet and greets I think. Getting to meet some of you, hearing people's stories and them saying why they love my music, what they thought of the shows, things like that. Uh…in Spain I met a really cool band, solid silver, shout out to them, they're a Spanish rock band, and I'm telling you they're so good. They played me a cover of one of my songs and it was crazy. Remember that?"
"Yeah. They were really good. It took me a while to realise that it was your song"
"Yeah. But it's times like that, where I got to hang out with fans and stuff, that was my favourite part."
"What was your least favourite part?"
"Traveling. 100 per cent the traveling" Brittany nodded vigorously. "This one can't sleep in planes." Santana said in mock irritation, shoving Brittany. "She has really bad motion sickness, so we always stay awake for the entire flights. So imagine, I've just left a four hour concert, after a day that probably started at 6 AM, then I get on a 20 hour flight with only one stop or something like that, and I'm awake the entire time, and then we land and have only two or three hours before I have to go to a meet and greet, or meeting, or something the hotel set up for us"
"It wasn't fun. We have had very little sleep over the past two months, especially when we had to get over the jet lag. And I mean, to be clear, we love actually being in the different countries"
"Yes. We love being there and getting to go places and do things"
"Yeah, but to do it all meant we were in an airport basically every three days, on a cold plane with…I mean we all know airplane food"
Santana grimaced. "We've been eating so horribly. Vending machines and fast food" she shook her head and laughed. "And at least I'm dancing a bit on stage, Brittany you should be worried."
"What? Why?"
"You were looking a little out of breath on stage last night"
Brittany gasped in mock offense and squinted her eyes.
"Rude! Offensive! 2.5 million people on the internet have seen you abusing your wife now you know?" Santana laughed.
"What? I haven't abused you. I just-"
"Called me fat"
Santana laughed so hard she fell on her back, and Brittany was forced to hold the phone up. She shook her head.
"You guys see what I've had to put up with for 10 years?" she read another question. "Has there been any point I wanted to leave the tour and go back to work? I can't say there has. It's been nice getting to spend all this time with Santana"
Santana sat up, giggling a little, but intrigued by the question.
"We spend a lot of time away from each other, and I'm usually traveling alone. But on the tour, even though it was more traveling than I've ever done, it was still fun because it was with Santana. She's annoying sometimes but she's my best friend."
"Aaaaww" Santana said, pressing her lips together, then pulling Brittany into her and playfully covering her face in kisses. "I like Brittany a little too."
"But Ellen's your best friend." Brittany said smiling. Santana burst out laughing again.
"Dios Mio, you know Noah called me after he watched that interview?"
"No way"
"Way. He's so annoying. Oh Brittany can you speak Spanish?"
"Yes I can"
"Did Santana teach you Spanish?"
"No…"
"Excuse me?"
"Well…not really. I learned Spanish in school babe" Brittany said laughing.
"But that was a joke" Santana said dismissively.
"Yeah" Brittany agreed. "I learned the very, very basic stuff in school, Santana helped me practice, then I took an online course and really took it seriously, and Santana helped a LOT then. She made me fluent."
"Brittany, how long did it take you to learn Spanish?"
"It took…I can't remember. I think about seven…eight? Seven or eight months. Cause we came back from our vacation, and then by the time you started working at Threshold I was fluent."
Santana looked away from the screen momentarily, shocked by Brittany's memory.
"How do you remember stuff like that you genius?" Brittany laughed and shrugged.
"I remember almost every moment I've ever spent with you." She said seriously.
Santana cocked her head to the side, smiling sweetly at Brittany. "My wife ladies and gentlemen of the internet" she said after a moment, successfully restraining herself from kissing Brittany. "Always trying to get into my pants." Brittany laughed.
"Oh they want us to continue the stream in Spanish"
"I don't know, that doesn't seem fair" Santana said.
"We'll answer the next three questions in Spanish" Brittany decided.
"Santana, do you want to have children soon?" Brittany asked.
Santana bit on her bottom lip to keep from smirking, and looked up, pretending to think.
"What's soon?"
Brittany smiled. "Within the next five years?"
"Yes"
"Well, there you have it. In the next five years we will have children"
"Brittany, After Brazil, what's your favourite country that you've been to on the tour?"
Brittany groaned. "I don't want to pick favourites. they were all so amazing in different ways. But I'll tell you one of my favorite memories from a country we haven't talked about yet."
"Okay"
"I love the Spanish culture. Music, food, everything. So when we ended up in that little restaurant…" Santana smiled.
"I don't know how we ended up there, but it was one of those magical moments."
"Exactly. The food was amazing and the music was like being transported. I don't know where they transported me, but I wasn't in a small restaurant anymore."
"I know what you mean."
"Bueno.Last question." Brittany paused, looking through the questions for a good one. "Aha! How was your first year of marriage?"
"Aaahh" Santana said, smiling. "Good question. It hasn't been anything I thought it would be, but even more amazing."
Brittany nodded at this.
"Santana and I got to live our dreams this year. We learned to live apart from each other, something we failed the first time we tried, and I think it made us stronger."
"Definitely"
"And we get to end it by going around the world and meeting you all. So I would say that the first year will be very difficult to surpass."
Santana nodded.
"And that brings us back to the original intention of this live stream" Santana said, smirking.
"We completely lost the point"
"We did. I blame them" Santana said, pointing at the phone.
"I blame them too" Brittany agreed.
"Anyway the point…what we really wanted to get across, was that even though the tour is over, Brittany and I…well I don't know about Brittany, but I will definitely cherish every single second of this tour for the rest of my life."
"Me too"
"You guys made it possible, seriously, and you made it amazing, so thank you. I can't say thank you enough times. This was my first international tour, likely to be my only one for a while" she laughed, and so did Brittany. "So…and I'm very serious here…it will always be the most special tour of my career. I learned a lot about myself, what it means to be an artist, what my music means, and the impact I want to have. So many of you guys have told me that you love me over these past two months, and I've said it back, but I need to say it again. I-"
"We" Brittany cut in.
"We love you. We may not know you personally, but we love you. We love that there are people out there who connect with me or my music, or our relationship, we love that you support us."
"We love that you are all going through your own struggles, your own battles, your own growth, and that every day you wake up and decide to continue fighting that battle."
"After this tour, I've started thinking of all of you guys as my extended family."
"Yeah"
"I've seen some of you come together for each other. Hear each other's stories and support each other, applaud each other, cry together. I think that's so amazing, and inspiring, and I'm so fucking happy to be a part of it."
"We've said it a lot, but thank you guys."
"Thank you" Santana said again for emphasis.
"We're going to go now, so, all of you stay safe, try and stay happy,"
"Be happy"
"Spread love"
"Ok Britt"
"And happiness" Santana laughed and tried to pull the phone away from Brittany, but she stretched away.
"Brittany…Susan…" she said, straining to reach the phone.
"In peace may you leave the shore"
"Britany" Santana gasped, giggling hard and moving onto her knees as she pulled Brittany towards her. Brittany moved further away, using her full body weight to hang herself off the bed so that Santana was the only thing keeping her from falling. "You're going to fall"
"In love may you-" Brittany was cut off as Santana suddenly heaved her on top of her, something Brittany had not expected. She squealed and dropped the phone as she flung out her arms. Santana grabbed the phone.
"They all think we're insane now" she said, reading the comments about how cute, or adorable, or sweet they were and shaking her head. "Goodbye good people" she said, waving at the phone. Brittany sat up quickly and waved, then Santana ended the stream.
"….Find the next" Brittany finished her earlier sentence, flopping back down on the bed. Santana looked down at her and smiled.
"Dork"
The social worker had agreed to meet with Brittany and Santana at the lawyer's office, since they were likely to ask similar questions, and the office wasn't that far anyway. The lawyer, had been all too happy to arrange for the social worker to meet with them, and to move the meeting back an hour, so that Santana and Brittany would not have to rush there from the airport. Santana had only talked to her once on the phone, feeling that it would seem like she thought too much of herself if she didn't at least speak to her once, and during that brief conversation, she had gotten the impression that the lawyer was a little too excited to be meeting them.
She sat with her head against the car window, watching the buildings outside zoom by as she contemplated this. It must be a good sign if the lawyer who would effectively be handling the adoption, was happy to be working with them. Surely it couldn't be a sign of something bad. But, Santana could not help thinking up bad scenarios. They could walk in and she would be very disappointed by them, or the social worker could think something fishy was going on, or worse yet, she could be homophobic, and she was merely looking forward to telling them that she was going to make it her mission that they never get to have those kids. As she thought, her musings becoming darker and darker, her body was subconsciously tensing up, so that Brittany, who by now was highly tuned into Santana's body language, looked up from her phone and frowned at her.
"Stop it" she said quietly, putting her hand on Santana's relentlessly jiggling leg. It stopped immediately, and Santana looked like she had just been pulled from another dimension. She was taking in very deep slow breaths, and even as she turned to look at Brittany, her eyes seems unfocussed.
"Huh?" she said absently.
"Stop it. You're going to drown yourself in there one day"
Santana focused fully on Brittany, frowning. "What?"
"In your head. Santana you need to relax. You can't go in there like this." she rubbed slowly up and down Santana's thigh as she spoke. "I can feel the negativity radiating off you."
"I can't help it Brittany. I just keep thinking about everything that could go wrong. Eric said that this meeting is happening a lot faster than he thought. Like a whole month earlier than he was expecting."
"That's a good thing. It means we could have them sooner." Brittany said, still in the quiet voice. Though Santana didn't realise it, the combination of Brittany's soothing tone and the comforting movement of the hand on her leg was calming her down significantly. Already her breathing had returned to a normal pace.
"The sooner we have this meeting, the sooner they can get on calling people back home for whatever they need, and then in a month or so we'll be able to take them back home." Santana nodded, unaware that as she said 'home' Brittany had covertly shuffled closer to Santana so that the entire length of their arms were pressed together. The effect of this was almost instant, and Brittany had to supress a grin. Santana's previously tense body now slouched slightly as she leaned, probably subconsciously, into Brittany, and she let out a deep sigh. Brittany let the silence stretch for a few minutes, then she dropped her head on Santana's shoulder. Santana lowered her own head to the side, resting it on Brittany's.
"Do you think they've gotten a lot bigger?" Brittany asked, her hand now trailing up the arm she was leaning on while the other continued to rub Santana's thigh.
"Yeah" Santana said. Her voice already sounding less morose. "I read that twins grow a lot in the first few months, because there wasn't a lot of room in the uterus. And they were born early, so they were even smaller." Brittany smiled, making sure Santana felt it on her arm.
"I wish we didn't have to miss so much" she said, again after a few minutes of silence, dropping her voice so that it was deeper than usual. Santana lifted her head and looked at her, then made her sit up and took both her hands.
"We won't have to miss that much anymore Britt. Just three more weeks, and then we don't have to leave Brazil for anything."
Brittany looked down at their hands and nodded, a small smile trying to break free. Santana didn't see it though.
"Look how fast this happened. We're going to have them in no time BeeBee" Santana said reassuringly, lifting Brittany's head so she could look at her. "Don't worry"
"Ok" Brittany said, smiling. Santana smiled back, and Brittany lowered her head back to her shoulder. She couldn't help but feel immensely proud of herself. Santana had been on the verge of a panic attack not five minutes ago, and yet, a few choice touches and skilful inflections of her voice, and Santana was now the optimistic one. She patted her back internally. In moments like these she could not help but laugh at the fact that either of them had ever dated other people. What would Dani have done in this situation? She thought scornfully. Probably told Santana to calm down. That she was overreacting. She scoffed, then realised that she had done it out loud and hastily covered it up with a cough.
"You okay?"
"Yeah…just choked."
"Take some water" Santana said, leaning forward and taking a bottle of water out of her bag.
"Thanks baby" she said, kissing her hand once she had taken the bottle.
"Here we are" the driver said, bringing the car to a stop. Both women looked out at the building. After a moment, James got out of the car and opened the door for them. They got out of the car, but didn't walk forward. "I will go park, then you call me when you want to go."
"Thanks" James said, waving him off.
"You really don't have to stay James. We're not on tour anymore, and we'll be in the building the whole time." Santana said, trying to take her mind off of said building, which seemed to loom imposingly over them.
"I want to stay" he said seriously. Santana nodded.
"Santana are you cold?" Brittany said, removing her jacket without waiting for an answer and draping it over Santana's shoulders. Santana frowned, moving to take the jacket off and wondering why Brittany had even bothered to bring it when the weather was as hot as ever, but as she took in a breath to speak she was hit by a wave of strawberry and coconut, a smell so distinctly Brittany that her brain temporarily short circuited.
"Babe?" Brittany asked. Santana didn't say anything, but just slipped her hands into the jacket and pulled it tighter around herself. Brittany smiled knowingly. "Alright, ready to go in?" Santana nodded.
When they entered the office, a very bored looking woman, a little older than Santana and Brittany, told them to have a seat without even looking at them. They had barely sat down however, when a middle aged woman emerged from a dark brown door on the left, looking determinately around the room. When her eyes landed on Santana, a huge smile crossed her face, crinkling her eyes so that they barely looked open.
"Santana Lopez" she said in a very heavy accent, brandishing her arms wide. Santana stood up quickly and moved towards her, though she stopped just out of her reach. She smiled.
"Lopez-Pierce" she said, looking back at Brittany, who was standing a few feet from her. The woman looked startled for only a split second, then she was smiling even wider and nodded. Her assistant, or secretary, or receptionist, whatever that woman's position was, had stood up, her eyes wide.
"Of course! Please forgive me. Misses Lopez-Pierce" she pushed open her door and stepped asides so there was room for Santana to walk past. "I hope you didn't have to wait too long?" she glared at her assistant who shook her head quickly.
"No we only just got here. Thank you" Brittany said, walking in behind Santana. They heard her say something to the other woman, then she was walking in and closing the door.
"The social worker, her name is Sara, she will be joining us in a few minutes" Brittany and Santana nodded. "But I think we shall start without her. If that's okay with you."
"Yeah. Okay" Santana said.
"How are you both?" she asked warmly.
"We're ok" Santana answered. She looked at Brittany. "A little nervous truthfully, but excited to get the whole thing moving."
"No need to be nervous. I know, because you have your own lawyer, something I completely understand, that it may feel to you like I am working against you, for the state. It isn't like this. I am essentially working for you. It will be me handling the adoption, though your lawyer has definitely done a lot, I won't deny. He has made my job a lot easier. That's why this meeting is happening so soon"
Santana felt considerably more relaxed, and smiled genuinely for the first time.
"I also cannot pretend that I don't know who are, and when I heard the story of how you came to know the boys you want to adopt, I knew I had to take this case."
Her confession was followed by silence. Neither Brittany nor Santana knew what they were supposed to say to this. It was far from awkward though, the lawyer seemed completely content to just stare at Santana. After a few seconds Santana glanced at Brittany.
"Uh…" She said hesitantly, still not sure what to say. This seemed sufficient enough to stop the lawyer's scrutinous gaze though, as she looked away from Santana and down at a file.
"Well, I have all the information I need about how you crossed paths with the children so that's fine. We've done an extensive search for any family or close friends of either parents, but we haven't found any. We had enough of a job tracking down who the father was, and when we did, we discovered that his parents died in an accident when he was very young. He has no siblings. We haven't found anyone who is willing to say anything about any of them, though this does not surprise me, considering the violent ways they both died."
"What if a best friend or something shows up later in the process, claiming the twins or something?" Santana asked. The lawyer shook her head quickly.
"They wouldn't have any more of a claim than you do, since there are no wills, or any other way to prove that either parent would have preferred that they have them. What's more is that the judge will be very hesitant to allow the twins to be taken back to the favela that has now claimed the lives of both their parents and one set of their grandparents as far as we can tell."
Santana nodded, feeling calmer still. Brittany took her hand.
"So, really what I need from you is a detailed explanation of your lives. Your jobs, your home life, your friends, your neighbourhood," she stopped here, as if trying not to laugh, "any criminal records, things like that. This you will give as soon as the social worker gets here, since she needs the same information."
Brittany and Santana nodded.
"That's all?" Brittany asked in surprise.
"Well, more or less. I need more information, but like I said, your lawyer is very thorough. I have transcripts of your years in school, proof of your achievements, character reports, a current police check, and your financial statements. Even…" she said with great amusement, "The sign in sheet of the hospital NICU, showing how often you visited the twins."
Santana smiled.
"Mostly I wanted us to have this meeting so that I could speak with you myself. I found it odd to be working on a case, recommending adoption for people I had never met."
"That makes sense." Brittany said.
There was another silence, and again the lawyer stared at Santana. Thankfully though, it was interrupted by loud knocking on the door, which opened only seconds after.
"She's here" the harassed looking woman from the front desk said. The lawyer thanked her and told her they were ready. A woman who looked even older than the lawyer, but a lot kinder, (Santana was reminded of a sweet grandma) walked into the room. She spoke in rapid Portuguese to the lawyer, who stood up and shook her hand, then she turned to face Brittany and Santana.
"Hello Misses Lopez-Pierce" she said warmly, and Brittany's mouth actually dropped open. She was speaking in a very thick Australian accent. Santana frowned, but recovered quickly.
"Hi, very nice to meet you"
"You're Australian?" Brittany asked, trying to make it sound conversational. The nudge in her side from Santana told her she had not succeeded. The woman kept smiling though.
"Yes I am. Can't get rid of the accent as hard as I try, but it doesn't usually matter. I speak Portuguese most of the time." She told them, chuckling lightly and sitting down.
Brittany bobbed her head, impressed. The lawyer took this time to explain to the social worker what the plan was.
"Great" she said, still smiling. Santana decided she liked her. "I'll just listen then, and then if I have any questions, we'll get to them after."
"Sounds good" Santana said.
"Ok then please begin with telling us about both of your careers."
An hour later, Brittany and Santana felt like every aspect of their lives had been put on display. Both women in front of them had been silently taking notes as they spoke, but they remained listening intently, nodding where appropriate, smiling occasionally. Finally when they finished, there was a silence in which the two professionals looked over their notes.
"You sound like you lead very interesting lives" the social worker finally said. The lawyer seemed to beam at this, momentarily confusing Santana.
"Fairly interesting. There are boring days" Brittany said, forcing her eyes away from the odd way the lawyer was looking at them. The social worker gave a polite chuckle.
"My only concern," she said slowly, and Santana refocused on her instantly. "Is where the twins will fit into all of this"
Santana frowned. "What do you mean?"
The social worker hesitated for a moment, choosing her words. "I mean that, you are both very successful in your respective fields, fields which demand very many hours of your day, am I wrong?"
There was no denying it, so Santana nodded.
"Indeed, and this is not a criticism at all" she said quickly, Santana's frown deepened as Brittany's grip on her hand tightened. "You are in the middle of an adoption, and you are not even able to be fully present."
"That's because I planned the tour before I had the boys in my life. We made it as tight as we could so we could get more done, and it wasn't a problem at the time because I didn't have any other responsibilities. Since we met the twins that's already changed we've spent every minute we could with them"
"And that meant flying across the world" Brittany added.
"From now on though, all planning will be based around them and what they need. My contract ends in two weeks, and I've already talked to my lawyer about the potential ways we'll need to change it. Brittany has too, since she's not on any contract right now."
"What about tours though? Are you planning on taking them with you? Hiring nannies? Leaving them with family?"
"We've talked about it" Santana said slowly.
"We decided that we would not be touring anymore. Maybe local ones, so we could drive or fly there and be back within the day, but that would be much later on when the boys are much older."
The social worker smiled, and Brittany felt some of her nervousness fall away.
"Have you had much interaction with kids?"
"My sister is ten years younger than me, so we babysat her all the time from the time she was four, but otherwise no. Not really."
"Are you prepared in any way? Having twins is a lot different from having one child."
Brittany smirked and looked at Santana. Since leaving Brazil, Santana had read what had to be every article there ever was on raising twins and raising boys. She was now about three books into a growing pile of books she kept buying online.
"That depends on what you mean by 'any way'" Santana said. "We're reading as much as we can on raising twins, we've got a cart full of clothes, bottles, cribs, diapers, mats, blankets, carriers all those things, just waiting to be ordered when it's official, we've been thinking of names and we've started looking at bigger houses with more space for them to play and stuff when they get older."
Even the lawyer seemed impressed by this. She smiled wider and scribbled something down. Brittany squeezed Santana's arm affectionately.
"Are you planning on telling the boys where they are from?"
"Definitely." Brittany said. "When they ask questions, we'll answer them as honestly as we can."
"We'll wait until they're at least teenagers to tell them the really…upsetting stuff" Santana said. The social worker nodded in understanding.
"Have you told anyone about your intention to adopt?" The lawyer asked this time.
"No" Santana said. "We told Quinn and Noah, the friends who wrote the character witnesses, that we were starting to think about having kids and stuff, and that we'd gotten a lawyer to help us get started, so we'd be ready when we got back home. The only people who know are the two bodyguards who were with us when we found their mother, my manager and my assistant."
"And we've had them sign a contract, so they can't say anything. We don't think they would, but we are not taking any risks"
"Why's that? Why not have everyone know, it's a good thing right?" The social worker asked.
"An amazing thing yes. But if it were to get out in the media, especially so soon after the hype and craze of the tour, I don't think the boys would have much peace. I fully believe that fans and paparazzi would follow us to the hospital, some might try get in and see them."
"And we thought about getting body guards, since we're going to have one for them when we get back home, but our lawyer said we can't do that until they're officially ours." Brittany said, and she sounded slightly resentful.
The social worker's eyes widened. "You plan on getting body guards?"
"For sure" Santana said. "There are rules already about the paparazzi and children, so they're pretty safe, but like Britt and I said, we aren't taking any chances. You know how people always go to touch or pick up kids they think are cute" she grimaced at the thought, "No me gusta. I won't be having any of that."
The social worker laughed and dropped her pen.
"What?" Brittany asked, slightly alarmed.
"I don't need to write anymore. You two are already those boys' parents. You've thought of everything, you've made arrangements to drastically change your lives without even batting an eye, you've spent thousands of dollars to fly across the world to see them, sometimes only for a few hours of one day, and you're concerned about things like strangers touching your babies. You are already so protective of them that there is nothing else to call it but maternal. I will be making my recommendation for adoption by the end of the day tomorrow."
The lawyer gasped, then flipped quickly through her calendar.
"This will be very quick" she said. "If the recommendation from the social worker is in by tomorrow, I can get us in front of a judge in…" she paused and flipped some more. "A month...two depending on his schedule." she said, looking up at Brittany and Santana.
"A month?" Santana asked aghast. They had been told to expect three to four months to be allowed to take the wins out of the country, and seven to eight for the entire adoption. Yet now here they were, two months later, being told it would only be another month. Brittany felt her heart rate increase. It all seemed too good to be true.
"Yes. I work with this judge often. He likes to keep his plate clean, and like I told you, I've taken a keen interest to this case. I'll tell him that this is a quick case, everything we could ever possibly need is in this file" she patted the black file in front of her. "He'll be pleased to not have to schedule it for months away."
Brittany felt close to tears. "Oh my god" Santana said in a whisper. "So by September…."
"You should have two two-and-a-half month old dashing boys sharing your last name" the social worker said.
Santana's head dropped to her lap into her open palms. Brittany rubbed at her eyes, trying to keep from crying. They were in a state of shock that rendered them completely speechless. Santana was trying hard to absorb this information into her brain, while simultaneously reminding herself to breathe. In a month, just one month, her entire world would change.
Of course her world had already changed. From the second she had laid eyes on both of those boys in the hospital, something had shifted inside of her. Every moment from then on was filled with thoughts of them. How they were, how much they'd grown, if they were sleeping, if they were happy. No matter what she was doing, she was thinking of them. On top of that, was the horrible feeling of being away from them. The closest she could come to describing it was how she had felt when she had gone to Louisville and Brittany had stayed in Lima. The feeling of leaving your heart behind. The difference though, was that when she had left Brittany, she had felt sad. She missed Brittany terribly every day, she cried, she lashed out at the people around her. She was miserable. But now, she not only missed the twins, but she felt unsettled. It was like living with constant anxiety, as if there was something she was supposed to be doing but she couldn't remember what it was. Her stomach would give great sudden lurches and drag her attention away from what she was doing as she worried about the boys. She knew of course, that they were perfectly safe in the hospital, but she couldn't help but feel like they would be safer if she was with them. All in all, the feeling was terrible, and now she was sitting in an office, being told that she was only going to have to endure it for one more month. Two weeks of which she knew would pass in a blur, much as the last month had, as she toured the US.
She sat up and looked to her side. Brittany was looking up at the ceiling, her hands clasped tightly together and tears streaming down her face. She was murmuring so quietly that it didn't even sound like any words were coming out at all, merely a long quiet, hiss. Santana prised Brittany's hands apart and took them in her own. The action made her go quiet, and close her eyes, then after a few minutes, she looked at Santana, no longer crying. They looked at each other, silently communicating as they often did, then with a small smile, Brittany turned to the social worker.
"I don't even know how we can thank you." She turned to the lawyer. "Both of you" she added. The lawyer smiled toothily.
"Don't thank us yet. We can celebrate once you have them with you."