Chapter 9:

Dimitri

I did feel lighter after I talked to Rose. I hated to admit it, but she was right. Maybe I was grieving. I looked up the stages of grief. I don't think I have been in denial yet.

There was a very loud voice in the back of my head telling me I was still in denial, certainly where Rose was concerned.

Anger was obvious. I was in that stage now. I had already been through depression, so maybe I wasn't really doing them in the right order. The last one was acceptance. I wondered how long it would take to reach that stage. Accepting I had changed wasn't very difficult. I had been saying that since I was restored. Accepting who I was now was more difficult, but I think I could get there - eventually. But accepting what I had done? I didn't know if I could ever get there.

Helping take down my former associates was a start though.

Rose had explained the plan for tonight. She really was coming into her own. She was leading this mission and taking it very seriously. She had always been a great guardian, but now she was also a good leader. It was certainly nice she was dialing down the crazy now that other people were involved. I knew if it was just us, she would have been far more reckless.

Luckily she didn't use the ruse tonight that we did last time. It was hard fighting in the tattoo parlor but we had little choice. There was no way we could lure them out of the parlor, so we had to scout out the place and attack them there. After we confirmed that there were only two Strigoi we attacked. Mia would take care of any customers and get them out of there. Mikhail would kill the one we didn't need and Rose and I would try to 'question' the other one.

I was a little worried about Mikhail taking on a Strigoi solo, but he did alright. Rose and I had the other one down to the ground pretty quickly too. Although not without a few bumps and bruises. After Mia had taken away the one customer she helped too by taking a leg Mikhail took the other leg and I put my weight on top of him to stop him from moving.

"Belikov? Is that you? What in the-"

Rose sliced with her stake across his shoulder. He screamed. "- we will be asking the questions here."

I was starting to realize how Rose had gathered information in Russia. I knew she had, but seeing it up close was different.

"We need Sonya Karp." I said, trying to put on a scary front.

He just hissed at us, like a cat. Rose made another pass with her stake, but it didn't have the effect we wanted. I grabbed his head in both my hands and slammed his head into the hard concrete floor of the tattoo parlor. The floor stained red, I hit it again and again and again until he definitely saw stars.

"Sonya Karp" My voice didn't sound human then, it sounded like I was Strigoi. It had the same effect like I was too. He was afraid - of me.

I wanted to run and never come back. I wanted to hide from Rose and Mikhail and Mia. They were seeing me so exposed. But when I looked over to Rose her eyes held only compassion and calm. She was trying to calm me down. Right, something beautiful and alive. Like her eyes, full of concern for me. Or how her chest rapidly went up and down as she was trying to calm down after the struggle.

I felt centered again and Rose and I moved our attention back to the Strigoi. He looked from me to Rose and back... And then he gave us everything.

Back at the hotel, Mikhail went to his room and we didn't say anything. He obviously needed a bit of time. He had looked for an entire year and nothing. Now we had a lead. I thought he would be glad, or at least relieved, but that hadn't been the expression on his face.

"He is glad we found her, so he can give her some peace, but part of him never wanted to find her. Finding her meant…"

Meant killing her. Rose had figured out why I was confused. I suppose she would know. She went through this herself. Not finding Sonya means a monster walks around in her skin. Finding her means staking the person you loved. Even if it isn't really them, and they are setting you free, I suppose you still had to do it.

And Rose had done it. I didn't understand back then the heartbreaking expression on her face, when she plunged the stake in my heart, but I could understand now. That was what was waiting Mikhail and he knew it.

I joined them in their room, because we all knew Mikhail needed a moment to himself, but it was kind of awkward. Rose and I hadn't been together like that… in a while. There was still a desk and a chair, but for the rest there were just two beds. One for each girl.

I wisely chose the chair and pulled my jacket off. I winched. I had hit the wall pretty hard in our scuffle with the Strigoi. Rose noticed.

She sighed and packed the first aid kit. We had quite the sizable first aid kit. Standard issue Guardian first aid kit. Not that we used it much in the field. Mostly a Guardian survived with minor injuries or they died. Major injuries were a death sentence too, because no one was going to save you. They were too busy saving the Moroi.

But we also couldn't go to the hospital for every minor injury, so our first aid kits were equipped with more than just antiseptic and bandaids.

"I can do it myself." I practically grunted. She just gave me a stern look and pointed to the bed.

She motioned for me to take off my shirt. She turned away but I could clearly see the blush on her face.

Once the shirt was off I turned my back to her and she started to clean the wound. I hissed. She mistakenly thought it was because it hurt. It did, but it was her fingers on my skin that had me practically cursing.

Her touch was so soft, so gentle. I focused on the ceiling, on the bedding, on the horrible pattern on the wallpaper, anything other than her touch.

I vaguely heard Mia say something about getting something to eat. And then we were alone. It was completely silent in the room. All I heard was our breathing. And both of ours were a little faster than normal.

"There, all done."

It took me a while to turn around and compose myself. Rose seemed to have the same problem, because when I turned around she was still sitting there a few inches from me. We didn't talk for a moment. I just looked at her, taking her in. Her big brown eyes staring at me. It was those eyes that had been the nail in my coffin at the Academy. They betrayed her true feelings. She could smile with her eyes, be mischievous with her eyes, and they could be sensual when she was around me, filled with wanting. I thought I detected a hint of that now.

But I also saw a few bruises and cuts on her face. I needed to do anything, anything other than lean in and kiss her, so I got off the bed, cracked one of the ice packs in the first aid kit and gently put it against the growing bruise on her jaw. She winched, but it was more from the cold than the pain.

"I do believe we are collecting injuries. Maybe we should make a bingo game out of it."

She joked and I laughed. I knew it was her attempt at diffusing the situation and I would do anything to achieve it. And it felt good laughing with her.

"I am serious. We could do broken bones, cuts that need suturing, Strigoi bite. I am sure we can come up with twenty five injuries."

I laughed again as I picked the bloodied shirt to sit in the chair. I debated putting it on. It would be another barrier between us, But the shirt was a little ripped and it had a good size blood stain on it.

"I don't know what is more disturbing, you hoping to get a broken bone to win a game or that you know how many boxes there are on a bingo cart."

She just smiled. "And I know that the middle one you get for free, So technically I only need to think of twenty four."

Rose

Mikhail was quiet, very quiet. He finally emerged from the room but he wasn't talking. In a few short hours he would come face to face with the monster who had inhabited his lover. And we would have to kill her- you know, after we tortured her for information.

"Is this okay though?" Mia asked. "Aren't we supposed to follow the leads to Dimitri's old associates?"

I shrugged. "This was a mission assigned to us by the Queen herself. Probably the last order she ever gave. I think it trumps Hans's mission. But two birds, one stone. We are now heading over to Kentucky. First we get information from Sonya and based on that information we can see which Strigoi are in the area."

Dimitri had drawn bases all across America. He didn't even know all of them. It didn't matter where we went, there was always a Strigoi nest around. Both handy and depressing. Also as long as nobody knew he was Dhampir again, we had time. Time Lissa didn't have.

So we moved out. Everyone was silent in the car. Mia tried to make some kind of conversation, but between the clear depressive cloud hanging around Mikhail and the somewhat weird residual sexual tension between Dimitri and I, she was failing. So after about an hour she gave up.

Once we got a little closer to our destination, Dimitri stopped at a hardware store to get some supplies. Nobody asked what the large and thick chain was for, we all knew. And again complete silence in the car.

The rhythm of the car and the silence must have meant I fell asleep, because I was met with my two least favorite people in the world in a spirit dream. Yes, even Strigoi- hell even Jesse was lower on that list.

Viktor sat on a bench and Robert was already staring off into nothingness.

Viktor waited for me to talk, I just crossed my arms and waited for him to start talking. They were the ones who pulled me into this dream. After a while Viktor raised his eyebrows.

"Well, have you found anything?"

"Why should I tell you? You don't know anything, you can't help me."

He smirked. "So you do know something. I must commend you, Rose, you are resourceful."

Damn. Me and my big mouth.

"I have contacts, Rose, resources you don't have. I can get Lissa her seat, you know I can."

"Yes, I do know that, I also know if you get to this sibling first, you will use him or her to manipulate Lissa into doing what you want."

"Ah, you know me so well."

"So give me one good reason to tell you."

He stood up, in the spirit dream he didn't look sickly, he just looked evil. I knew I could take him in the real world, but I wondered how much power I had in this spirit dream. As if he read my mind, he answered.

"You mean besides that I can have Robert torture you until you are insane?"

Yeah, besides that.

"Tell me where you are, Rose, we will come to you."

Now, that was interesting. Three guardians and a well trained Moroi against a sickly man and one crazy spirit user? I liked those odds. Maybe I can right another wrong I had done and send this asshole back to jail. I don't think Viktor knew how many people traveled with me.

I scowled, pretending to reluctantly consider it.

"Fine." I told him where to meet us and thankfully he released me from this spirit dream. I woke up in a car and startled a few people.

"Spirit dream?" Dimitri asked. He knew the drill by now. I nodded.

"Adrian?" I was surprised by his tone. It wasn't an accusation but the tone wasn't really neutral either. He apparently didn't like Adrian invading my dreams.

"I wish." another scowl from Dimitri.

"I thought you and Adrian broke up?" Mia asked. But she made sure Dimitri heard it loud and clear in the front seat. Dimitri actually looked surprised by that.

"You broke up with Adrian?" I probably imagined the hopefulness in his tone.

I nodded. "I needed to focus on this mission. It is a dangerous mission and I didn't know how long it would take, or even if I would come back. It didn't seem fair to string him along."

"But then who visited you?" Mikhail asked, sensing this was the time to change the subject. I knew I brought those two for a reason.

I groaned as I let my body fall back into the car seat. "Robert Doru and Viktor Dashkov."

Dimitri

I ground my teeth all the way to Paris, Kentucky. I had been proud of her progress and of her maturity on this mission and then she had to do something so… Rose.

I understood her reasoning. If Viktor and Robert got here we could hand them over to the authorities. But Viktor was too smart to fall for that. There must be something he has on Rose, something that he could use to stop her from bringing him in. I hope he wasn't still holding on to that statiotory rape charge, because I think that cat got out of the bag back at court.

But we had enough to deal with without Viktor's involvement. We had a mission to hunt Strigoi- which was crazy enough- then the side mission to track down Lissa's sibling by interrogating a Strigoi, and now we had to babysit a known fugitive and an insane spirit user.

And to top it all off I was feeling very conflicted about learning she had broken up with Adrian. Part of me had been so relieved, and I didn't know what I was meant to do with that information. So I was focussing on being angry with Rose for devising a crazy plan without informing me. That was nice and safe and so very very familiar.

"There. blue house on the lake." Rose called out from the backseat.

We stopped a little further down the road and got out, checking the perimeter. It was the middle of the day with a cloudless sky in the Kentucky summer. There was more than enough sunshine to make us feel safe.

It was also enough to weaken Mia. So she stayed in the car and Rose stayed with her. Mikhail and I checked out the house.

He hadn't said a word. I couldn't imagine what he must be going through right now.

We stopped in front of the blue house. "Blackout curtains. That is a promising start. Let's see if we can confirm she lives here."

"She lives here." Came his reply. He moved towards the front garden. The ample amount of flowers and plants were blooming. He touched one of them, as if touching the plant meant touching Sonya.

"She always liked taking care of plants."

This wasn't going to be easy on him. But he had been willing to kill her before, I know he will be able to do it again.

"Let's check the back."

After a thorough exploration of the house and possible entry points we went back to Rose and Mia.

"I think breaking into the back is our best bet. We don't know where in the house she is, so we will have to move quickly once we are in."

Rose nodded. "Breaking the window?"

I nodded. "There are glass doors we can break, those will be big enough to enter. But it will probably alert her, so we will have to be ready to move."

"Or…. I can pick the lock." Mia said.

When all of us looked at her funny she just shrugged. "Do you know how many dorm rooms I broke in to get dirt on people? Besides this is a Strigoi house, I doubt she cares much about home security."

"It will be quieter." Rose said, shrugging.

But we would have to be extra careful too. Mia was also supposed to carry the chain in once Mikhail, Rose and I had subdued Sonya.

Mikhail carried the cains to the backyard. Mia began picking the lock and Rose and I were ready to engage Sonya the moment we either got in or Sonya noticed us.

It took Mia a surprisingly short time to pick the lock and she was so very silent too. Rose told Mia to stay in the sun with the chains until we called for her. Even though the sun would weaken Mia, it really was the only safe spot right now.

I opened the door very carefully. I walked in first followed by Rose and Mikhail. We looked around the room and it looked surprisingly normal.

As a Strigoi I had had a bit of an expensive taste, and Galina's had been gaudy, but there was always a lingering of death in our rooms, of screams trapped in the walls. This could have been any living room from any family. I didn't make the mistake of thinking Sonya was docile. But I wondered what made the difference between a Strigoi that was content with a blue house on a lake, with flowers in her yard and the occasional human to feed off of and a Strigoi bent on world domination.

The gasp that came from Mikhail was our only warning. Then we were fighting. Rose and I took the brunt of the work, not only because we were simply better than Mikhail and more in sync but because I didn't know how well he would react. Rose had hesitated the first time she saw me as a Strigoi.

Sonya was strong, she didn't have any specific fighting skills or techniques, but she was still a Strigoi. And we couldn't kill her. That was the hardest part about this.

We nearly had her when she flung Rose against the wall. She slumped to the ground, she seemed dazed. Seeing it too, Mikhail joined the fight and together he and I were able to subdue her.

"Mia, now!"

Mia came in with the chains and the four of us bound her as best as we could. Rose had gotten up and I was relieved to see she was okay.

Once she was secured we took a step back. She hissed and snapped at us. She cursed at us. I hadn't known her while she was still alive but seeing the looks on my associates faces, this was not the woman they remembered.

Mikhail was the most distraught and understandably so. "Sonya?" His voice broke saying her name.

She obviously recognized him, but she just didn't seem to care. She was eyeing all of us with equal disdain. Mikhail's shoulders slumped and he took a seat on her couch a little away from her. Mia joined him there, making sure he was alright.

So that left me and Rose to question Sonya.

"You were an emergency contact on a bank account a few years ago. We believe it was for a child. You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you?"

Rose got close when she asked her question, seemingly unafraid of her kind old teacher turned evil. I did notice she was swaying a little on her feet.

"Go to hell."

"Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, now let's try this again."

We tried everything. Cutting her with the stake, hitting her, threatening her. But she knew the moment she gave up the information, she would be dead. She was smarter than most of them.

Rose threw her hands in the air in exasperation and then grabbed her head from the motion. She swayed again on her feet. I was by her side in an instance.

"Roza?" She looked at me with her big brown eyes. I slipped and called her Roza. I must really be worried.

She leaned into me but I don't think she meant too, she was really hurt and could barely stand. She rubbed her head and when her hand came back there was blood on it.

"Damn."

Her dark hair had obscured it and it wasn't a lot. But it was clear that she was hurt.

I motioned Mia over. "Take her to the bathroom, see if there is some gauze. Then get her to rest."

Mia nodded. Rose was about to protest, but Mia already pulled her up towards the second story.

I sat down next to Mikhail. "How are you holding up?" I asked.

He didn't make eye contact with me, he just stared outside looking at the garden. "When I saw the plants outside I had hoped there was something of my Sonya still inside, but now I look at her and I don't even recognize her." He rubbed his hands over his face. "I honestly don't know which I prefer." He turned to me. "How much of you was preserved?"

That was a good question. If you had asked me a week ago I would have said too much, but the further away I got from my time as a Strigoi, the more I realized the difference between us.

"That is a difficult question. Part of me was preserved. Some feelings remained, but they were twisted into something…unrecognizable." In a way I still loved Rose, still wanted to be with her. But for a being incapable of love, it just meant obsession. "You become the worst version of yourself, no soul, no remorse, but still you have your memories of your old life."

I still had trained, still liked to use my body and I still read western novels. Just because they were familiar. I imagine Sonya used gardening as her familiar hobby.

"Is Rose okay?" He asked, changing the subject even when his former lover growled and grunted behind us.

I looked up the stairs. "I think so, she got hit pretty hard earlier. But she will be okay, as long as she can rest."

He snorted and I chuckled, knowing full well Rose didn't really do rest.

"What are we going to do about Sonya?" Mikhail asked, despair in his voice.

"I don't know, I really don't know."