Chapter 5 - Temptations
Autumn suddenly fell on the village. It was a storm that took the summer away. The days became cold and the sun was not as warm as usual. The apple tree at the entrance to the house began to show red, ripe fruit, heralding the change of season. They had been in the village for almost three weeks, Link hadn't been in the same place for that long, not long enough to see one season greet another.
His daily life had focused on fixing the house. The new room was finished. He'd also fixed the roof and the horse shed. He had started chopping wood that very afternoon. Every night they lit the fireplace and had used up the old wood.
During the day, he hardly saw Zelda. She would get up very early and go down to the beach. About that... they had a little quarrel. It was known among the villagers that the lizalfos roamed the beach at Hateno. Some fishermen had suffered attacks. Link examined the beach from end to end and saw the remains of lizalfos, they were shedding their skin and he could see their scales, like a second empty body, next to the cliffs. He'd also found scraps and skins of fish, waste... it was more than evident that they were feeding and nesting on that beach. But the reality was that after walking the beach several times without leaving an inch unexamined, he had not seen any.
"If you haven't seen any, there's no danger, Link.", she grumbled.
"I still don't think it's right for you to go alone. They may have gone to southern waters, but they could be back at any time. I've seen nests."
"Empty nests."
"If there are nests, they will return. They spit poison and have sharp spears. They are repulsive and could attack you."
"You're exaggerating the situation. I'm just going to walk on the sand and get my feet wet in the water."
"Then I'll go with you."
"You have other things to do, you better not come."
"It's not the right thing to do. A knight should..."
"You're not a knight anymore! You're not anymore. Leave me alone, please."
Those words had stuck in him like a burning dagger. And he didn't know which was worse, the hurt of hearing from the princess's mouth that he was no longer what he once was, or the thought of a lizalfo biting or spitting acid at Zelda. He had to swallow both, for she invariably went down to the beach every morning. He didn't quite know what she was doing there; in a small bowl she'd begun to accumulate white shells, which she was supposed to collect from the shore. He had been tempted to follow her to keep a close watch, but that would have been a bad idea. If she caught him following her, it would be all over. No more living together, no more nights reading by the fire. Goddesses, sometimes he thought he only lived for that moment. After morning visits to the beach, Zelda would get lost with the sheikah. She would spend hours at Purah's mill and he didn't see her until evening, where he'd wait quietly for her, Master Fergus's book in his lap. He feared she'd never want to sit and read with him again when she started bringing Purah's books home - if Zelda had her own books, why keep sharing a book? He also feared that the reading would stop after their discussion about the lizalfos. But it didn't. Every night since the first she read to him. And he found himself thinking about that instant all day, every day.
"Are you chopping wood?" Zelda greeted. She came back from the lab with a basket full of mushrooms. It had already started to get dark and she was hooded.
"The old wood in the shed will soon run out. I have to cut every day if... if we're going to spend the winter here."
He placed a new log on the stump and split it in half with a clean cut. He had no idea what Zelda's plans for the winter were. Maybe she would get fed up with the routine of the village and his tiny house and want to leave. She was already sleeping and eating well regularly, looking much healthier, if just as melancholy. None of his medicines had had any effect against that.
"I should help you. I'll leave this inside and help you," she hastened to say.
"You don't have to. It's already dark and I won't be able to cut much more wood today."
"Then let me prepare the dinner for you. I'll cook the mushrooms Symin gave me."
He cleaned up quickly and stoked the fire so Zelda could cook. While she did so, he prepared the book for later. There was only one chapter left. The last chapter, so... So he'd already gone to get a new book from Purah's library. Purah complained when he asked for a new book on chivalry. She said there was a legend of a man who went mad from reading chivalry books. Such was his madness that the man thought he saw enemies where there were none.
He had no idea how to approach the subject of starting a new book with Zelda. The books he'd seen her on were on very different subjects. Many of them were about mechanics or engineering, with complicated formulas and schemas. Others were old manuscripts written in languages he didn't know. She studied maps and mapped her own. In short, the princess' reading had nothing to do with his book on chivalry.
They'd dinner in silence. In any case, if she decided to tell him the details of her visit to the sheikah, he wouldn't have understood. She studied the same complicated things as Purah. The blue fire, the ancient energy, and those manuscripts of the rare letters, of that tribe, the Zonai. She's also been obfuscated by the subject of the Shrine of Life. After learning with surprise of Purah's regression, both the princess and Purah had been fed up with the belief that he himself might regress, and now every time he saw Purah, she would ask him if he felt "younger".
"Don't you like the dinner?" Zelda asked. Link realised that he hadn't had anything to eat for a while.
"No way, it's really good." He took a huge spoonful to reaffirm his words. Zelda watched him motionless until he had swallowed it. How could he tell her that he was worried about his ridiculous book coming to an end?
"The sheikah have told me they have a mission for you. They'll talk to you tomorrow."
"A mission?"
"They haven't told me any details, so…"
Link was left to ponder the sheikah business as they finished dinner, but soon found himself caught up in his favourite moment of the day. The last stumps of firewood from the previous year burned away as Zelda read aloud the final chapter of the book.
"... and from that day on, his name became part of history. The end."
Zelda closed the book ceremoniously, as she did with all her books. Link wondered if it would be an old custom of her days in Hyrule's court. He was silent, not knowing well what to say.
"What do you think Link?, is this ending what you expected?"
"It's been good."
Well, in a manner of speaking. She could have recited aloud one of her complicated mathematical books and it would have been fine too. Whatever she read was going to be fine because he was inevitably caught up in the moment. It was ridiculous.
"Why did you choose this book?" She asked, handing him the already closed tome.
"Purah recommended it to me."
"I've already imagined that" Zelda let out a laugh, "but why did you ask her for a book about cavalry?"
"I wanted to learn more. In case it's needed."
Suddenly he felt a cloud of heat concentrating on his cheeks. He shouldn't be ashamed, he wanted to know more, that's all.
"I understand to some extent what you're trying to do, really, I know how hard you always strive in everything you do. But if I ask you this, it's because I don't think you can apply many of those concepts in today's world. Everything's too changed."
"I used to be a knight, I don't think it's wrong to find out a little more about that. Now I'm nobody in particular, so I guess I want to learn how to be someone again, even if you say I don't have to."
Zelda frowned and wrinkled her nose a little. She made exactly the same gesture the day they argued about the lizalfos and Link thought that maybe he should have shut his mouth. Mentioning the past, however lightly, always affected Zelda's mood.
"Nobody? Goddesses, you are the Hero of Hyrule. Without you, nothing makes sense."
He looked at the ground, unsure of what to say. Yes, he'd killed monsters, but he could do nothing else. He couldn't dance, he couldn't joust, he wasn't a great conversationalist, and he didn't know battle protocols or strategy. When Zelda formed a new entourage, how could he help? He could lead the infantry of soldiers or something, but he really wanted to feel useful. The princess was very polite and had always thanked him and called him a hero, but... but why did all that seem insufficient? It was incomprehensible even to him.
"I'm tired for today, I think I'm going to bed," she said, after his prolonged silence.
"Alright, take a rest."
Perhaps that had been the last reading. It seemed a little absurd to tell her that he had another book ready, especially after she had questioned the matter.
"But first, I wanted to give you something."
Zelda pulled a small bag from her pocket and swung it in front of his eyes.
"For me?"
"Of course, it's for you, as far as I know there's no one else in this room."
Link accepted the bag and opened it carefully. It was a white conch shell strung on a leather cord.
"It's my way of apologizing, Link. I said a little cruel words to you the other day. I was unfair, and I don't want to argue with you. Like I said, I understand what you're trying to do. You're not guilty of what might go through my head, nothing is your fault, so forget it, please."
"But Zelda…"
"I was wrong, really. Now I'm going upstairs, take a nice rest, you must be tired."
Before he could reply, she went upstairs. Zelda was the most unnerving person he'd ever met.
"Linky, are you listening to me or not?"
"Yes, I do hear you," he replied, rolling his eyes.
Nah. The truth was that he'd been tuned out to Purah's verbiage for a while. The sheikah talked too much. Blah, blah, blah. If the mission was to go kill Hateno's lizalfos because they were now plaguing the beaches of Lurelin, that message was more than enough. He would spend two full days on the journey, one day there and one day back. Killing the lizalfos would take longer. It was possible that they had moved west, and next to the long beaches there were caves in the cliffs; if the lizalfos were hiding there, it would be difficult to find all of them. All in all, a week's journey.
"... and once you're settled, you'll speak to the Lurelin's council. We don't want the rumours to spread nonsense."
"Rumours?"
"I knew it! You weren't listening!" Purah exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. "Linky, this is serious, the Four Great Regions are already suspicious of what you did in the castle. News spreads faster than you think, it's wise to explain that the evil is under control, but without giving details of the princess or what you did yourself. Not without first talking to the rulers."
"And what the hell do you want us to say then?"
"The right thing to do is to help keep calm. Lurelin has been under the jurisdiction of the Zora Dominion for a hundred years, King Dorephan himself will send letters clarifying what needs to be clarified. And before that, we'll talk to Dorephan. In the meantime, no word of Zelda, no word of Ganon, no word of the Triforce."
"Honestly, I don't think those southern fishermen worry about the castle. Rather, they'll have their eyes on the lizalfos invading the beach," he said, downplaying it, "but I'm sure Zelda can think of something witty to say to them."
Yes. She was witty and knew well how to deal with people. He'd just have to take care of killing those stupid monsters and leave the protocols to Zelda.
"Are you crazy? The princess won't go with you to Lurelin. It's a dangerous mission where she can do little. I need her here with me, working in the lab."
"Oh, sure."
He didn't know why he's assumed Zelda would travel to Lurelin with him. Now that he thought about it, it was a ridiculous idea. He'd been the first to object to her walks on the beach because of the danger posed by monsters and former servants of the Calamity, so...
Purah asked him to get moving as soon as possible. It seemed that her meteorological machine was predicting rainy days, and it would be wise to get south before autumn really set in over the Lanayru region. It was not yet noon, so he had time to buy some basic provisions in the village bazaars, food that could last the journey. After that, he'd make do by hunting for whatever he could find. He'd made long, calculated journeys and provisions were of no concern to him at all. He filled his quiver with arrows and greased his boots. In barely an hour he was more than ready to leave. Then he sat down to wait for Zelda to return from her walk on the beach. He wanted to tell her that he was going to be gone for a few days, that she would be home alone.
After almost an hour, Zelda still hadn't shown up, so he decided it would be quicker if he went down to the beach to look for her. He decided to take the steeper mountain path and walked around the beach a few times until he found that she wasn't there. He went back home, it was possible that she was returning by a different route while he was scrambling down the mountainside among the rocks. He didn't find her at home either, so he went up to Purah's lab again.
"Are you still here?" Purah grumbled upon him, seeing him appear.
"I just can't find Zelda anywhere. Have you seen her?"
"Yes, I've seen her. She's gone with Symin to the northwest forest. They're looking for the ingredients for an experiment and she'll be out for much of the day."
He fell silent, chewing that information. It's not like he's going to be away for months, but he thought it was wrong to leave without telling her anything.
"I'll tell her you've gone south, don't worry. You'd better leave as soon as possible," Purah interjected, guessing his thoughts.
He nodded and trotted downhill, back home. Before leaving he left a note on the table and rode off on Shadow's back with a sort of a bad taste in his mouth.
The rains caught up with him as he was approaching Lurelin's pass. This delayed him a little, as it took him more than a day to get there. He'd killed the desolate silence of the journey by stopping to hunt and gather some wild game, even though he had more than enough to spare. Hunting distracted his mind. He had travelled alone a thousand times, with only Shadow for company, but like some strange disease, he found himself thinking often of the princess and how different the journey would have been if she had accompanied him. Perhaps he would have taught her how to draw her new bow, perhaps they would have continued to read together in the evenings, by the light of a fire. It was strange how quickly one could get used to the presence of another person.
As evening fell on the second day after leaving Hateno, he reached the small fishing village of Lurelin. He'd spent a pleasant time there in the days of the Quest, a very brief but pleasant time. He'd always thought of going back. He liked the warm waters, the simple life of the villagers. Had it not been for the fact that he had a house in Hateno he wouldn't have ruled out moving there. "And you can still do it," said a little voice inside his head. But no, the idea sounded remote, almost impossible to execute. He was no longer the same after the end of Ganon, it was a difficult idea to digest, but he felt that something in him had changed and therefore it didn't seem feasible to leave everything to live in that charming village.
The village was ruled by a matriarch and a patriarch, both from different families. It was a tradition that there was always a man and a woman managing the needs of the village, and they were always the two oldest inhabitants. When they heard that Link was staying in the village, they decided to organise a big dinner on the beach, he had helped them with various matters on his previous visit and the villagers were still grateful to him. After all, the other time he had left so quickly that he barely had time to say goodbye.
The villagers used to hold their celebrations by sitting on the sandy beach, around large bonfires where they roasted fresh fish and crabs.
"So you're living with the sheikah, Link?" Patriarch Elmar asked.
"No. But I'm here on their behalf," he replied, his mouth full of grilled fish.
"The sheikah know as well as we do what is going on, Elmar," interjected matriarch Coraline. "That's why they sent us the boy. Tell us Link, have you had a chance to pass through the Hyrule Plain lately?"
"No, I haven't."
"They say Ganon's gone!" Bitia, one of the three granddaughters of Elmar who were sitting around him, exclaimed.
" Bitia, hold your tongue, girl. This is a matter to be dealt with calmly, not at this time of reunion and celebration," said Elmar, "tomorrow we'll talk about it, if that's okay with you, Link."
He nodded and accepted a second brochette with a grilled octopus' leg offered by Litia, another of the patriarch's granddaughters.
"You're right, Elmar," said the matriarch Coraline, rising to her feet, "tomorrow we will deal with that matter and the invaders on the western beach. For today, this old woman goes to rest."
"I also retire," interjected Elmar, "let's leave the rest of the night for the youth."
Elmar's three granddaughters seemed relieved that the elders had left, and moved closer to Link once they were alone with him at their campfire. Litia had been feeding him incessantly, and he let her do it, even if she sometimes insisted on leaving bits of fish in his mouth, as if he were a small child. She was the youngest of the three, her face freckled and golden from the sun. Bitia was the middle one, she had short hair and her blue eyes shone like two sapphires. Nitia was the eldest and the one who made Link the most nervous. On his previous visit, she had insisted that he accompany her to the Lovers' pond, a kind of spring that gushed out of one of the hills surrounding the village. All the girls seemed intent on going there, and he'd have ignored the proposal except that there was something he wanted to investigate in the area. Once there, they were alone, just the two of them, in a sort of a trap to which the rest of the young men in the village were more than used to. But he was so clumsy to notice... Nitia had come very close to him and... and she had kissed him, on the mouth. He'd been stunned like an idiot, but he could still remember the warm tingling sensation on her lips and the giddiness as she returned to the village holding his hand. He remembered nothing of his past, so in a way, that had been his first and only kiss, and every now and then, he remembered it. After all, he was clearly not made of wood.
He had thought about it. He had thought about how many people dear to him would have been buried by the hundred years of his dream. He had thought not only of his parents, his relatives, and friends. He'd also thought about whether he would have had a 'Nitia' to kiss, whether he'd have been in love with a young woman, whether a young maiden would have mourned his loss or been ravaged by darkness without him being able to help it. Later he found out that this didn't make much sense. He had been a knight, and after his latest enquiries he learned that knights of the royal guard renounced taking a wife, somehow led a chaste and steadfast life, dedicated only to the fulfilment of their vows and oath. That reduced the number of women in his past to just one: Zelda. The idea was disturbing and he preferred to put it out of his mind.
"Tell us a story, Link, something that happened to you on your travels," Litia said. She was lying in the sand and threw her head on his lap.
"Litia, don't grab Link!" Bitia said, grabbing his arm.
"Girls, stop harassing Link, can't you see you're making him uncomfortable?" Nitia let out a laugh.
He had stopped eating. They didn't bother him, they were really like little sisters to him. But he felt awkward. He was clumsy around girls, and it wouldn't take them long to notice his inexperience, especially Nitia. Just like Zelda, he was sure she'd have realised at first glance how clumsy he could be.
Before he could reproach himself for bringing Zelda into that comparison, he recounted some of his adventures in the Gerudo desert. The girls listened to him enthusiastically, though he suspected it was because they must have liked him otherwise, not clinging to his arm or fiddling with his hair because of how good a storyteller he was, or how interesting his stories were.
When the campfire burned out, each went to sleep. He was half asleep walking towards his cabin when he heard footsteps behind him. In the shadows he saw Nitia, approaching him as brazenly as on the day of the lovers' pond. That's what he has been waiting for, isn't it?
"Wait," he said, holding her shoulders when she approached him "wait a moment."
"I knew it." She smiled.
"What?"
Nitia took a step back, smiling as girls did, as if there was something in the world they only knew and he was incapable of guessing.
"This time you don't want a kiss," she hinted.
Didn't he want it? He had imagined it many times, especially in moments of weakness. He had visualised Nitia's beautiful, smooth, brown skin against him, and the tickle on his lips and all over his body. Goddesses, sometimes his body cried out for contact with a woman, and yet the mission had filled his days and there were few occasions when he had dared to approach a young woman he found attractive.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me...," he was right to say.
"I knew you had changed when I saw your pendant, clearly you got it from someone special. People don't go around making shell pendants for themselves," said Nitia, laughing, "but I had to try one more time, you never know!"
"The... pendant...," he stammered.
Nitia approached again and gave him a peck on the cheek. Then she said goodbye to him almost in a whisper, and disappeared into the night, her perfect white-toothed smile never fading for an instant.
Link entered the cabin in a daze. There was a jumble of sensations in his body and in his head. He felt dizzy, as if he were floating. He'd lost the focus. He should be making a plan to find the lizalfos as soon as possible, but all he could think about was girls, campfires, touching smooth skins and the wet caress of a kiss. He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He couldn't focus at all. Being alone with himself was always worse, because the fantasies became bigger and impossible to control. In his head he saw Zelda, not the aquamarine green eyes staring at him in the middle of the night, but the two emeralds of the mountain. He imagined her fingers tying the shell pendant around his neck, giving it gentle, unintentional taps as she tied the knot. Her pale skin glowed under the moon, and the feel of her slightest touch sent shivers through his spine. He wanted to touch her, with all his might, but he didn't. Then she stepped forward, determined, just like Nitia, "Link, I thank you for taking care of me..."
"Enough!" He said, furious with himself.
He dipped his head into the cold water in the jar in his room, that should somehow cool his thoughts. He hated feeling so dazed, and he hated the feeling of loss of control. Surely in his time as a knight he had never lived in a place like this, where every minute was a reminder of what not to do or think. Yes, sure, all that stuff about nobility and honour sounded big. But he was no longer a knight. He was defeated.