AN: HERE WE ARE SECOND PART OF THIS CHAPTER... BELLA HAS JUST FINISHED... AHEM... TENDING TO HER NEEDS AND IS HEADED OVER TO LEARN TO FIGHT. EDWARD IS STRUGGLING WITH UNFAMILIAR URGES AND JASPER IS PLAYING CHESS WITH A WILDCARD.

Rated M: SEXUAL THEMES, LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE?

DISCLAIMER: I DIDN'T DO IT... YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING. I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME. NOT STEALING... I'm not Stephanie.

BPOV

PART 2

Brawling Bros

I drag my hungover ass up the long and winding driveway to the Cullen house. I may or may not have picked out the absolute smallest pair of shorts I have in my wardrobe for the occasion. I don't have the mind-splitting headache that I've been told people usually get after a night of heavy drinking, but my tummy is all sorts of weird right now and I just know these vampires have something up their sleeves for me. I also know that if Jasper's the one who planned something, I'm likely to get a treat for it. Jasper gives out the best treats.

By the time my big, beautiful truck reaches the top of their driveway, I see him. He's slumped over something on the porch. His face is pinched and irritated. What the hell is his problem? Is something wrong with him? Why does he look so grumpy?

I hop out of my seat and approach him. Holy shit, he's so hot. Just like I remember him. I can't resist running my fingertips through his blonde curls. His eyes find mine and he smiles, "Hi, pretty Bella."

I give a small tug on his hair to remind him of where we are. Now is not the time to be sentimental and sweet. The walls have ears here, and he should know better than anyone. "Hey, Jasper! Read any good books lately?"

His eyes shift to black at mention of the prop involved in our most recent playtime. I can feel the crackle of his lust in the air between us and all I want is to slide into his lap and kiss the shit out of him. Oh, holy fuck… have I ever kissed him? Have I ever laid my lips on his and felt his tongue connect with mine? Is this just about sex for him? Am I the fool who can't separate love from sex? It's not like he's left Alice or anything.

My thoughts spiral momentarily before my brain catches up and I can see the reverence in his gaze. There's no mistake. He's just as trapped as I am. I belong to him, sure, but he also belongs to me. I have to keep reminding myself that he wouldn't risk his relationship with the family for a stupid fling. I know I mean more to him than just a warm place to lay on/with.

He doesn't really respond to my question. He's just sitting there, taking in my presence. He smirks and asks me, "Ready to learn how to kick some ass, darlin'?"

I nod and he gets to moving, pulling me with to gather the rest of our training group.

By the time Edward's dragged me down to the clearing we're going to practicing in, I'm already kind of exhausted. I just have to make sure he doesn't find out about my activities last night. The drinking, that is. Oh, and the werewolves. Because he's so fucking puritanical and overprotective, I'm sure he'd lose his shit knowing I did both 'wrong' things. I made Alice promise not to tell. I'll be damned if I fuck myself over by ruining my own secret.

Jasper's… 'friend?,' Peter, places the blanket and picnic basket he was carrying on the ground and pulls his shirt off. Ho-ly hell that man is fine. He had to have been older when he was turned. He looks like a man. A very fine man indeed. I find my eyes following his movements as he toes off his boots and walks over to where Edward is standing next to me.

"Ready to go a few rounds with me, pretty boy?" Peter asks.

I've never heard anyone call him that before. And, judging by the look on my vampire boyfriend's face, it's pretty evident he liked it. I swear Edward would be completely red in the face if he was still able to blush.

Still, he manages to stammer out:

"What?! Sure… I mean… sparring… Yes. that's why we're here. Just let me check to make sure there's no one who can stumble across us while we're out here."

Edward can't zoom out of Peter's sight fast enough. Just like he'd normally do when I make any 'advances,' as he likes to call them, in his direction. I can't help but laugh at his ridiculous behavior. I mean, I get it. Been there. It's only funny because I get to see it from a more outside perspective. But this time, I'm not the one causing it. It's kind of nice not being the one he's rejecting. Plus, Peter is hot as all hell. He's laughing and shaking his head when Edward finally manages to collect himself enough to return.

Peter keeps trying to go over ground rules and pointers for sparring with Edward, but Edward can't pull his eyes away from Peter's large, muscular, scarred chest. His muscles are rippling out from under his skin. Light smattering of chest hair on that new guy seems to be more interesting to Edward than offense, defense and strategy.

Eventually Peter laughs shaking his head and turning to me, "Well, if it isn't the famous Cullen cookie jar. Boy would I love to get caught with my hands in you…"

His eyes trace the curves of my body, but I can feel another set of eyes watching me. I know it's not Edward, being as Edward is still ogling Peter. It must be Jasper. Peter's trying to rile him up. Think I'll play along. Sounds like fun.

"If you ever get bored of the bunny munchers let me know. I'll show you how a real vampire handles a lady." Peter's smirking at me and I can't help but laugh a little at his ridiculousness.

I hear Jasper behind me address Peter, "Don't you have some sparring to do, Pete?"

"I would be, but Edward here is having trouble focusing. I think his girl's distracting him." He winks at me, and I laugh again. Peter's hysterical! …And FINE.

Peter cocks his head to the side and smirks, looping his arm over Edward's shoulder, gripping onto it. I feel like this should upset me more than it does, considering he's my boyfriend, but I've long since come to terms with Edward not being into me like that. It doesn't really hurt so much anymore.

Jasper cocks an eyebrow at Peter and turns to me. His face settles into something I haven't seen since he trained the family to fight Victoria's army.

"Okay Bella, we're gonna start first with assessing the weak points in your defenses. These are the basic building blocks you need to know for combat. You can't expect to land a punch if you can't defend yourself long enough to stay alive. The best way to fight is to observe and react. Watch how the other person moves. Take notes. You need to know what moves your opponent will make before they make them. Study their attack patterns. Duck, dodge, feint, evade, block only if you have to until you know enough about their fighting style that their every move is predictable. All they will know of your style is that you can evade and block. They'll be at the disadvantage. Once we've gotten your stance nice and strong and your defensive techniques down, we'll watch a couple of sparring rounds with Peter, Edward, and myself. If I can get these boys to keep it slow enough to follow, you would benefit from paying attention." He's drowning me in desire as I watch his body language straighten up like the sexy army man I know he is. Hmmm…. I'd love to see him in one of those modern uniforms. …All snug at the waist… combat boots… those hot dog tags for me to tug on. Hot dog. That sounds pretty good right about now. Man, I'm hungry.

Sir, yes, sir! I will absolutely follow your every command. Especially if I get to keep imagining you in decked out head-to-toe in muddy camouflage, covered in dirt, tearing at my clothes so you can ravish me. Fuuck…

I look at him with lust-filled eyes and a coy smirk.

"Can't wait."

Jasper's defined muscles push aside the fabric of his tight long-sleeved shirt, wrinkles forming at every chiseled crease. I carefully observe his body, I mean, movements as he walks me through stances, motioning me to do the same. I melt a little when he places his hands on various parts of me, to help guide me through the motions. My mind is only vaguely aware that my body is fucking pissed at me for making it do this shit while I still have a hangover. It's demanding rest and water and food, but I have to keep pushing myself. This is so smart. Instead of doing everything for me for the sake of my protection like oh, I don't know, a certain bronze-haired vampire fiancé I know does… Jasper's giving me some actual skills that could help me protect myself. When he gets to the section on evasive maneuvers, I almost drown on my own drool as some mud sticks to his neck. I don't even care that he's dirty, I wanna clean him off with my tongue, he looks so delicious.

I'm so fucking tired. I can't keep up. I'm doing it, but my brain is writing checks my body can't cash and I just want to sit down and die. Maybe we could pick this back up on another day? When I've had more sleep and less alcohol? He looks so hot, and I don't want to disappoint him. What have I been doing all that fucking yoga for anyways? So I can be hot. And keep up. My little secret is really undoing all the work I've put into this pasty-ass body. I want to show him that I care about this. That I care about him. I just don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to hold out.

He's shouting at me, "Lower that right elbow and lean back. You need to protect your liver. It's important. That's a target you don't want gettin' hit. You need to be light on your front foot and stabilize yourself with the other. Stay on your toes. Float between the balls of your feet. Be sure to bounce slightly, so you're ready to spring out of the way of any strikes coming at you. Always be ready to duck if you notice they're aiming high. We want to keep you from being knocked down to the ground. Groundwork is tough. We'll cover that next session. Right now, our focus is on their striking and your evading. We will cover grappling at a later date."

I'm done. I can't go on. I need to sit. I need to eat. I need to rest. Please don't be mad. I sigh out:

"Jasper we've been at this all day. I need a break. I don't have endless vampire energy to devote to this."

He laughs.

Great, now he's laughing at me. Good job, Bella.

"Bella, darlin', it's only been an hour… but sure. Let's watch Peter and Edward spar and I can walk you through what you're seeing." He says with a smile. Why does he have to be so hot? He shouldn't see me like this. I look so much better folding myself up like a pretzel in skin-tight yoga gear. Instead, I'm out here, in the woods, with my tank top drenched in under-boob sweat. In front of three vampires that can see my every fucking pore. Okay, that's enough, Bella. You're probably just hangry. You made it out here and kept up as best as you can, despite the hangover. That's gotta count for something.

Jasper escorts me over to the blanket and picnic basket Peter laid out earlier when we had gotten to the field. I'm stoked. I'm fucking ravenous. Without thinking, I down every last bite of both sandwiches. I don't think I've ever consumed food so quickly in my life. I'm not even sure I tasted it. I almost drowned myself in the two water bottles I chugged. Not my most ladylike behavior, but I'm hungover and I needed it. Don't judge me.

Now I'm sweating and panting like a pig because I behaved like a Mike Newton on sloppy joe day. At least I didn't try to talk with my mouth full. Not sure I left myself time to breathe, let alone, talk. Hopefully Jasper will just chalk this up to one of those weird humanisms he no longer understands.

My prayers seem to have been answered as I spy him out of the corner of my eye, tracing the silhouette of my body with his stare. When he notices he's been caught, I stifle a smirk by biting my lip. He wants me. He needs me. He's the only guy who's ever made me feel hot. Not pretty, not sweet or cute… HOT. Even now, right after I just finished devouring two whole sandwiches like a rogue garbage disposal. That's worth more than gold in my book. Especially after feeling like the ugly duckling for so long.

I scoot closer to my sexy blonde warrior.

"Can you point everything out to me as it's happening?" The barely audible sound of his feint gasp echoes in my ear as I get on all fours and crawl into his lap, "I don't wanna miss anything."

He's hard and whispering in my ear and it's sooo sexy, "Bella, if you don't knock it off, we're gonna have a lot of explaining to do."

I can't help but want to push his buttons harder, so I do. Disregarding his word of warning, I push things a bit further and start bouncing around on top of him.

"Sorry, had to adjust my position for comfort." I arch my back into his front and softly moan, "There. Is this good for you?"

He breathes hard against my neck, "…Dear god."

"No?" I tease and giggle. My voice drops lower as I whisper, "How do you want me, Jasper?"

He groans. "…Fuck…"

"There. Right there. Now I'm comfortable, sooo good.." I moan out. I know exactly what I'm doing to him. It's fun to be on this side of the lure for once.

He's committed to following his script, so I lean back like a good girl and listen to his honeyed voice walk me through the action. He shakily mutters out in that hot southern drawl of his, "So… ahem… Peter is assessing Edward's style, testing his blind spots and learning his patterns. He's looking for an opening. It's not particularly easy facing off against a mind reader. Peter's moves have to be snap reactions with little thought. Taking into account Edward's speed, evading his attacks becomes more difficult. However, where Edward has speed, Peter has strength… Peter also has a vast well of combat experience to draw from. We did serve together, after all."

Surprisingly, I find myself actually taking interest in the battle going on in front of me. I always assumed that Edward didn't really know what he was doing when it came to combat. While that may be true, he could have a lot of advantages that would play in his favor if he were to focus on actually learning how to fight. If he started some regular training, he could be phenomenal in battle. As I sit here, on my favorite seat, contemplating the match, Jasper begins distracting me with his hands. I feel his fingertips running themselves along the inner side of my naked thighs. Just a little further, cowboy. And higher. Higher please! God this is torture. But it's also incredibly sweet. It's comfortable. I want to stay here in his lap and be held by him. I want him. He's smart and charming and sexy and dear lord the raw power of him is breathtaking. I'm very quickly breaking down the walls I've surrounded myself with that keep telling me I can't have him.

My breath is picking up as his touches claim closer and closer territory to my center. His nose gently tickles the skin outside my throat. His cool breath surrounds my ear as he whispers, "Precious girl, I'm positively coming undone for you… What are you doing to me?"

I don't know what to say to that. His honeyed words overwhelm me. I feel the same, but I can't say it. I can't really even think it. So I focus on it. My brain flashes images of Jasper and the way he makes me feel. I want him to know how I feel. I whisper, "This feels… different."

"What do you mean?"

I turn to nuzzle his neck so I can speak into his ear without being overheard, "I want to keep you, cowboy."

He frowns at me and accuses, "…You accepted his proposal."

Barely… I scoff, "What was I supposed to do? Let the family leave me again when we break up? …Then wait patiently for the Volturri to take me out while you all hang out at some new high school, luring another innocent human into the vampire den? No thanks. I'm not an idiot. I don't have any options left. Death or undeath. That's it."

"I wouldn't leave you behind." He vows.

"But you did." I have to say it, "-and so did your wife."

His eyes widen and I know he doesn't know what to say. He mumbles, "Look, Bella, I-"

"Stop talking, Jasper. I just told you how I feel. Now you know. I want to keep you. …Ball's in your court." I don't wanna get into it, just let me enjoy you for now.

Jasper is silent for a while as he's seemingly lost in thought. I make an attempt to break the tension.

"You know… you don't have to trick me into these outfits, Jasper. You could just ask me to wear spandex."

He's quick to respond, but he has nothing to really say. He knows I'm right. He just stammers, "I… uhhh… just…"

I can't help but crack up entirely, my stomach shaking with raucous laughter. He grumbles and refocuses on the battle before us, "Watch now… Peter's about to take this up a notch."

Peter releases a roar into the air, staggering Edward's gait. As Peter lurches forward into a light sprint, Edward races for the tree line to climb up to higher ground.

"Watch as Edward's speed plays to his advantage here. He can outpace Peter's charge. Peter knows this, he's been watching. I'm sure he's already hatched another plan on how to take Edward down. I wonder what it is. Let's keep watching. It's about to get interesting."

Suddenly, Peter disappears in the thicket of trees at the edge of the clearing. I can't even follow where Edward has disappeared to, so I have no clue what Jasper's all excited about. Only a few moments later, Peter strides into the clearing from the same spot he disappeared from earlier, shouting:

"You can't stay up there all day, pretty boy. This is a sparring session, not hide-and-seek."

I watch as Edward touches down, back onto the ground. He immediately turns to run away from Peter again, but this time, he trips on… something. That's weird. I don't think I've ever seen Edward trip before. Peter must've done something to the ground while he was under there. That's so smart, what the hell? And here I thought he'd fight like a barbaric oaf, like Emmet. No, no… He was a soldier too, Just like Jasper. Before Edward has time to react, Peter's already caught up to him and wraps his arm around him, grappling him from behind, grabbing him by his hair. Peter pulls Edward's head to the side and exposes his neck. Now he's licking it. Holy shit. Why is this so hot? Something about their size difference…

"What just happened?" I'm lost.

"Peter's a digger." Jasper says in lieu of a real explanation.

I decide to mess with him a little, "I don't think you're allowed to say that anymore, Major."

"-What?! No, I said-"

I continue my train of thought. Stating, "…I know you fought for the other side and everything, but-"

"Jesus, Bella. No, I did not say that! I lived through the sixties, Bella. I know better.

I can't help but snicker at his discomfort. Serves him right for trying to play coy during education. I don't have vampire vision.

Peter breaks through my joke with a snarl and instantaneously my attention is back on the match at hand, "You taste delicious, pretty boy. Do you submit to me?"

Edward's eyes are the size of dinner plates, black ones, as he struggles to break free from Peter's hold on him. I've seen that look before. Usually on Jasper when I-… Is Edward… Oh. He's loving this. A little too much. Fuck. Well that explains why he doesn't look at me like that. Peter's got him locked in so tight that he's floating a few inches off the ground. I wonder if I can talk Jasper into putting me in that position later. There's gotta be something to it if it's gotten Edward that worked up.

Peter growls, again. Mmh. Edward's shaking and fidgeting… but not in fear. I can hear Peter hissing from across the field but can't make out the words. He's taunting him. Probably teasing him. And judging by Edward's reaction to it, it's probably somewhat sexual. His eyes are rolling back. I know that look… That's Edward's sex-fear face! Is that-…? Is that a fear boner?! EDWARD!!! I can see it from all the way over here!

"I submit!" He cries out. Probably for the best. This is embarrassing, even for me. That's my fiancé. …having a homosexual crisis amidst a mock battle with my secret lover's handsome friend.

Peter purrs into his ear, this time loud enough for all of us to hear.

"Good boy."

Edward groans. Defeated. Peter, with a more-than-satisfied grin, chucks my fiancé onto the ground, on his back, tent-up. He rolls over onto it and awkwardly shuffles onto his feet, facing away from Jasper and I. We already saw it, dude. And from the looks of things… Edward's kind of 'packing heat.' Is that, like, a vampire thing? I'll ask Jasper about it later.

Still facing the other way, Edward flees, vanishing into the woods, wrestling his demons, and probably also his erection.

Peter goes full King Kong and beats his fist against one of his beefy pecs. I just met the guy, but somehow it seems fitting. Like a proud gladiator, he turns to face us with a confident challenge of:

"Who's next?" He locks eyes with me, "What about you, Cookie? Care to take Peter-Peter-human-eater for a spin?"

Jasper lets loose a growl, setting me down onto the blanket beside him as he rises to his feet and brushes some dirt off his jeans. His posture straightens out as he takes off his shirt and steps out of his boots. Fuuuuck… I want to lick him. He's a goddamn specimen of rugged perfection. What I wouldn't give to inspect every square inch of his skin. His gaze connects with mine and I know I look ravenous for him. I want to swallow him whole and keep him with me forever. But that's impossible… according to science. But try telling my brain that as I fixate on his onyx eyes.

He calls out, "Nawh, I think it's my turn, Pete. You ready for me?"

"Aren't I always, J?" Peter retorts with a mischievous grin painted across his cheeks.

"You might not feel that way once I get my hands on you." Jasper counters.

"Oh but you know that I love the way it feels when you touch me…"

"I'm well aware of that, Pete. Even without my power… the noises you make are quite the indicator." A wistful expression crosses Jaspers face like he's remembering happy times of past.

Peter's laughing as he replies, "Aw shucks, you got me. I just wanted a chance to ride my favorite cowboy one more time. How ever have I survived this long dieting on pussy when you know I just wanna indulge on that cock of yours? I know, I know, I have to maintain my girlish figure, but I just can't help myself."

"I should have brought some duct tape. That mouth of yours really does get you in trouble, Pete. It would be for your own good. What will it take to shut you up? If shoving my cock down your throat will bring me some peace and quiet, I guess beggars can't be choosers."

A girly giggle busts through me. I couldn't hold it any longer. Jasper glanced at me over his shoulder and as fast as lightning, Peter appeared in the space Jasper just was. He charged at him; I think. I barely notice Jasper as he is now crouching just a couple of steps away from Peter's landing spot and Peter goes back to circling my warrior. Jasper won't be distracted again.

Peter's shit-eating grin splits his face as he taunts me. "Still playing hard to get, J? I thought we were past this."

A dark laugh rises from Jasper, "Oh, Petey… I never could stay away from you. Why don't you get a little closer? Come give your best bud a hug. I won't bite. Well, I might."

"Jazzy, jazzy, jazzy… when are you gonna get it through your head that I want a hell of a lot more than a hug? How about this? …I win, and you let me take a crack at Edward's human. You win, and I'll diddle the little copperhead until he forgets she exists and y'all can ride off into the sunset. Happily ever after, like in those fruity little fairytales."

Uh-oh, Jasper is pissed. He snaps through clenched teeth, "Like I said, your mouth gets you in trouble."

Peter smirks, "You're not being very reasonable, Jazzy. What's to stop me from leaving you to reassemble on your own like an abandoned mister potato head when I claim my prize?"

I can't help but feel like this shit-talking is getting old, and I'm getting cold… and a little bored. I fake a rather sizable yawn and shout out, "Is this a rap battle? Cause you guys are doing an awful lot of talking but I'm not seeing any action. Cut to the good stuff. Do you guys need time to bang it out before you can fight? I could turn away. How long do you guys need?"

Peter barks out a laugh, "Psychological aspect of combat is just as important as the physical, cookie. If I can get Jazzy here worked up enough that his emotions get in the way of strategy and logic, he's far more likely to make a mistake. Keeping a cool head is important. It's what separates winners from losers. It's what keeps you alive. Can't fall asleep at the wheel."

I nod because I kind of get it. When I'm mad it's like I'm looking through a boiling pot of water. It's all steam and bubbles and RED. There's no way to think straight like that. Heh. Straight. This fight is turning out to be anything but straight. Is it just me, or is today turning out to be extra gay? Focus, Bella. They're fighting so that you can learn something from it. Not so you can fantasize about Jasper's hot friend drilling your fiancé. Fucking focus, Bella!

My eyes now hyper focus on Jasper. I want to see every little detail. About the fight this time. Despite their speed, I'm determined not to miss any nuances.

Peter charges at Jasper again. He throws a punch at him, but misses. Woosh. There it goes, that truck of a fist sailing past Jasper's face. Jasper dodges and ducks and suddenly Peter's on the ground. How'd that happen? It's all happening so fast. Now he's got him pinned, foot on his throat. Yay, Jasper! I feel like a cheerleader, but for NASCAR or something. The action's too speedy for me to keep up. Before I know it, Jasper's got Peter's ankle in his hands, twisting it. What happened? Is it over? Is that it? Wow, Peter really was just toying with Edward. I thought I was supposed to be learning something. This felt more like I was watching Rock Paper Scissors, but with a lot more homoerotic shit-talking.

"Submit or I'm taking your foot, Petey. Fight it and I take the whole damn leg."

Peter taps on his thigh, "Whatever, Jazzy, I'll let you look good in front of your little crush. I submit. Now where'd my pretty boy second place trophy run off too?" He then darts back onto his feet, placing a couple of fingers onto his forehead for a sarcastic salute. I like this guy. He's got panache. Peter Peter human eater readily sped off to bed 'Ed who fled' instead. That was good. I'm like a dirty Dr. Seuss.

Jasper strides back over to the area where I'm sitting and asks, "Do you think you learned anything useful today, or was this a waste of time?"

"I found out I have a keen investment in becoming one with the sandwich. Also, you look fucking incredible topless and fighting." To be in a Jasper and Peter sandwich would be goddamn divine. The sky would split open and I would gaze upon the heavens. Four strong arms wrapped around me, calloused hands tracing the curves of my body? Two stiff cocks pumping into me whispering naughty words in my ears? Yeah… that's the dream.

Jasper didn't respond to my humor, so I asked him, "Why is Peter here, Jasper?"

Jasper cringed and mumbled, "Well I couldn't just let Edward have you. Especially when it's clear he just wanted to prove to you, and more likely himself, that he likes women."

I smiled, "I know he loves me. I think he just doesn't understand how sexuality works. Modern concepts seem to be lost on him. He's… obsessed with labels. He can't accept that although he may be hetero-romantic, he could also be into homosexuality. That's not a relationship I want personally, but I'm sure some asexual girl would be into it."

Jasper quirked an eyebrow like I had just spoken Ancient Greek to him.

"He's obsessed and upset with the idea that he would want a man. It does appear though, after today, he's developed something of a shame kink."

"Did you read a sex encyclopedia or something?" Jasper laughed. "That's all too complicated. For me it's all about pleasure. And joy. I don't care about the gender the hole belongs to. If my dick's happy, I'm happy."

"Is your dick happy, Jasper?"

"Not right this moment. He'd very much like to get more closely acquainted with the lady between your legs, but he doesn't want to apply any uncomfortable pressure." Jasper smirked. He thinks he's so clever.

"She's amenable to his desire." I flirted, "The green light has been on for a while, Jasper. We're just waiting for you to step on the gas."

"Shouldn't you want it to be special, though? It's your first… road trip?" He groans and shakes his head, I think the metaphor is tripping him up, "Fuck it… Bella I want to, but I don't want you to regret it later. I just want to make sure it's good for you. I mean a couple of months ago I might've felt different, but now… things have changed.."

My heart raced as I waited for him to finish his thought.

"What I'm trying to say is… god! Ugh! Why is this so fucking awkward?! Goddamnit!" He flashes over to my side and kneels in front of me, watching my face for some reaction. "I want to keep you too, pretty girl."

My mouth is instantly dry. Suddenly the weight of our declarations settles in me and I can't stop thinking about all the people we've thrown to the wolves for our desires. So many will be hurt. They'll never forgive us. This could be the biggest mistake I've ever made. What if they turn me over to the Volturri? What if Jasper goes back to Alice and I lose both of them? What if the family abandons me again? Oh god! My vision starts closing in and I can't breathe and my chest is pounding and I can't think. It's too loud. Suddenly I'm trapped in the darkness washing over me. My vision fades. I feel like a piece of wood dragged off into a turbulent sea, drifting away from the safety of the shore.