Void cowboy
I woke up from another nightmare. I looked outside at the shining sun, the light filtered into the basement. I lived in the suburbs, we had an older house, mom and dad worked for a living. I looked up and went to look at my plants and watered them. I took very good care of them, I had to. If I didn't, well that would be bad.
I started doing push ups, then my squats, exercise was important, being out of shape... well I couldn't afford that. I thought about doing steroids a couple times, but that was too risky and I take too many risks as it is. I look at my schedule, run, I need to run, I need to work on my skills. My room was a carefully organized chaos. I went to my libary of used books, it wasn't enough books on plants, on sewing, on electronics, soldering, engineering and math.
I opened up my closet and looked at my costume, it didn't look as good as the professional stuff, but it was effective. The gas mask looked ugly as sin, the plastic armor wasn't tough enough, but it could save my ass. The gravity belt... it didn't need to work that long, I just needed it to work long enough. I looked through everything, checking and rechecking. I wasn't careful enough once, someone died because of that. I still remember her looking at me as she died, as she screamed, and it was my fault, because I wasn't careful enough.
I still have time, I turn on PHO... Verified cape... it's a lie, I asked my parents for a computer and they gave it to me, I wanted attention to be loved so... so I lied, and told people I was a cape. It was just stupid shit back then, you know to make myself look big because I was in middle school, now a 6th grader, eventually I had to put up or shut up. I didn't want to get banned... they were starting to figure it out, it was only a matter of time.
I went onto the deep web and sold some stuff and had a lucky break, gravity veins seeds. It's not legal to own it, that's for the Protectorate, or the military or space, but... yeah so I bought it and then got some cheap schematics and built some cheap antigravity belt. It worked for a couple hours, but it was summer, I had a crappy costume and there had been an Endbringer alert...
Fucking stupid... I volunteered and I got lucky, it was one of the eaiser fights, my stuff let me jump around so I helped move ammo and other stuff and then when it was over they took us back home. I was entered into the records and when I went to my computer I was now a verified cape, I had fought in the Endbringer battle, people respected me.
I... fuck that had never happened before so I kept going, it's been close to five years now and the only fights I haven't been in were the Simurgh ones. I've seen a couple of them go down, and I've gotten pretty fucked up. Thing is with Endbringer fights, as long as you don't die you're going to walk out of it just fine.
I do my hair and look at myself in the mirror, at the deep circles around my eyes, it all keeps piling up. The lies, I don't talk much on PHO, I can't afford to let people figure out that I'm a fraud, that Void cowboy is a lie. It's time, I leave my house and wait for the bus. The familiar smell of french fries greets me.
I get on, no one sits next to me, I stare outside as my stomach grumbles, there's a lean and hungry look to a lot of people, there's a war on and everyone needs to ration. I frown as a middle eastern girl comes in. Long conservative dress, god... what the fuck is she thinking wearing that much fabric? People get prissy when you wear a dress that goes down to your ankles.
"What the fuck are you wearing?"
Its an asian kid... japanese... I expected the Empire, no it's a girl, her skirt is just below her knees. The staring is getting worse.
"A bur-"
The beating starts almost instantly, the bus driver ignores it, other people cheer her on, it's luck of the draw, the asian girl probably isn't in a gang. She looks lean, hungry and angry, we all have to live on rations, but there's a hierarchy, going from A to F. Most refugees have an F card. My family got booted up to A after I started going. I cringe at the scene, her outfit rips.
"Is this... fucking food?"
"My family owns a restaurant."
Which are exempt from the ration laws.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"
So much food, more food then one person can realistically eat. It's not going to last, there's a feeding frenzy. I do nothing, I don't have the power to stop it and if I used my stuff, well that would out me and then my house of cards would go down, and then I would be fucked, then my family would be fucked.
I looka way, there are posters, 'buy war bonds', 'do your part'. They do their best to sell you on it, go fight the Endbringers, go fight for humanity. They tell you how noble it is to die fighting them, it's all so pretty and wonderful in the movies, on televison, in the books, but the reality is pretty fucking different. The girl's sobbing on the floor, her food is gone, her money is gone and she's pretty messed up.
We exit the bus and I stare at the graffiti, I walk over to the principle's office. The secretary looks at me.
"Greg?"
"I have a doctors note, I was sick again."
The secretary looks at me with sympathy.
"Of course Greg, your always welcome here."
"Thank you."
I walk into Blackwells office, she looks up in sympathy, but also with a look of respect. The call happened on a thursday, I left on friday. I'm back now, have been for a few days. I handed over a letter, sealed of course. She opened it and nodded.
"You're a brave b... young man... have you thought about joining the Wards?"
No... they would find me out, then I would be fucked, as long as I stayed independent I could maintain the lie.
"There are limits on how many times a Ward can go in... on how many times a Protectorate hero can go in. I... I have to do this, I have to be out there."
She looks sad.
"But why does it have to be you?"
"Because they need everyone they can get... I'm sorry but I have to do this."
She nods her head and gives me back my letter, I look it over, I got a commodation for bravery in it, all I did was follow orders. Jump in, get the actual capes to safety, then go and jump in again. I was allowed to leave, allowed to go back to class. I did my best to pay attention, but every now and then I would be back there.
Back in the war, back in the fight, I was jittery, I wish I would trigger, life would be so much easier if that happened, I could relent, join the Wards. I would be forced to take a break, get a paycheck, talk with someone about the nightmares. I have a record, they would treat me all right.
I go to my classes, the teachers look away, Im pretty sure they know, or at least suspect which makes it more awkward, which in turn makes the pressure to go the next time that much higher. I do my schoolwork, I do what's required and when lunch comes I follow my schedule, I look at my lunch. I miss junk food, I miss donuts but I have to be careful about what I eat, if I freeze up out there, well that would be bad.
I do some exercises to limber up and think about my vitamin intake, a little more vitamin C? Would that help? Do I go for more muscles? Maybe more protein would be a good thing, and batteries, if I could just get some tinkertech ones that would be good, but I haven't had much luck on that front. Instead, I just have to make sure I have enough energy to spare, that I'm careful and conserve power. I have batteries placed alongside my suit, it gives me about seven hours. That's enough to make it through a battle, but what if someone asks me to go on a patrol?
My excuses might be wearing thin, peoples patience might be running thin, a part of me wonders if they're going to figure it out. Lunch ends and I stagger into Gladly's class, he... means well but he talks way to much about the Endbringer battles, about how heroic it is to fight them. He knows nothing about what it's like on the front lines, but he does look after me and makes sure I end up in groups where people can cover for me if they need to. Taylor walks in and I try not to stare.
It's another project with her and my heart beats, and nothing comes out right, but it wouldn't work out between us. I have too many secrets and I have to keep them, I can't afford any questions. Once the war's over I can stop this, stop being Void Cowboy. I've been in a few Endbringer victories. I could move offworld and get myself a plot of land. I can just forget about this whole thing, just me being a fucking idiot.
"So what do you want to do?"
I look up, and for a moment I see that girl, her accusing eyes, I blink again and see Taylor.
"Anything but Endbringer fights."
"Why?"
"It's a sensitive subject."
She rolled her eyes and started talking, she had this taken care of. I went home, did my homework and studied, both classwork, homework and other things. It was best to get your class work done early. the teachers bitched less when you did that, mom and dad bitched less. After that I went over to the rig, and my costume. Looking for flaws, checking and rechecking the systems. Then I carefully removed some of the plant and took it to my chemistry set. If I got the mix just right I could squeeze out a few more minutes of power and if my equipment was working just right, I could get even more.
It was all about preparing and getting ready for the call, getting ready to go back into the frey. I looked at the clock and went to sleep. Time passed, the report came due and Taylor looked angry, probably the bitches again. I got ready to give the report when...
"No."
Madison froze.
"What?"
"That isn't yours, fuck off."
I stared at her, at first she looked dismissive and then she froze like a deer in the headlights.
"MR G, GREG STOLE MY-"
Gladly frowned, he didn't do that very often, Madison kind of froze at that as his face contorted in rage, then he smiled again.
"Madison, I think you made an error, that's Taylor's handwriting."
Madison blinked in disbelief, Sophia shook her head.
"But-"
"You made a mistake Madison, your paper is clearly somewhere else, why don't you go look for it."
She tried out a cutesy smile.
"But Mr. G-"
"Madison Clements, I'm willing to tolerate a few... youthful indiscretions, a few outbursts of energy but there are limits to what I'm willing to tolerate."
She swallowed.
"Go back to your seat Madison and don't ever try this again."
She went back to her seat and glared at me. When class ended she confronted me.
"What the-"
A hand went onto her shoulder, Sophia eyed me with a look of wariness.
"Don't."
"Sophia he-"
Emma stepped closer to her friend, her eyes appraised me.
"Sophia's right, this isn't worth our time."
Madison walked forward and I glared right back at her, staring her in the eye, she froze...
"Yeah... yeah you guys are right, not worth my time."