Hunger
Chapter 2
Natsuki's house was empty and dead silent as usual on weekdays. The only light or sound in the small quarters came from the bathroom. Rose eyes scanned the face of their owner through the steamy mirror on the wall. She readjusted the bath towel that seemed huge on her small frame and went back to fixing her hair. Dexterous hands played with her pink tresses in the reflection for a little bit, toying with the idea of a different hairstyles she could try. Deciding that her usual was perfect she tied her side-tails with her favorite ribbons. She gave herself a confidant smile and nod before a grumble from her stomach shook her abdomen.
She sighed in disappointment, and shot her midsection in the reflection a dirty look. "Quiet you." She commanded the protesting organ.
Her morning routine went on as usual. Her dad was at work so she was the lone soul in the small house. After dressing for school she dared held out a little hope and checked the, usually empty, refrigerator. The only occupants of the small icebox was a six pack of cheap beer and various condiments . She wasn't a drinker and the idea of eating straight ketchup made her stomach hurt even more, defiantly not breakfast fare.
Natsuki slammed the fridge door closed in frustration before leaning her back to it and sliding down to sit on the kitchen floor. She grit her teeth and silently began to curse. She cursed the tiny house. She cursed the useless fridge. She cursed her body's incessant need for food. She nearly cursed her lone surviving parent before she was struck with the vivid memory of their last argument.
The hunger had made her angry and frustrated that day. She remembered yelling, asking why things were always like this, asking why they couldn't have more. She remembered her father yelling back with alcohol heavy on his breath. When the two reached an impasse something finally broke in him.
The image would be forever burned into her mind. Her father, the normally strong and proud man, was bawling his eyes out. He was down on his knees as he held his daughter's tiny hands in his rough and calloused ones.
"Dammit Nat..." he kept repeating, " I'm doing everything I can for us. You have to believe me. I'm trying Nat, I'm trying..."
Despite her current situation she couldn't stay mad at her dad. He worked nearly everyday to keep a roof over their head. He kept the water and heat on and she could bathe and wash her clothes. Ever since the day that her mother passed the two were just going through a tough patch. She couldn't really blame him for that. Natsuki couldn't even start to guess how painful it was to lose the love of your life.
Her stomach growled loudly again and she winced in pain. It was getting bad already. If she was going to have any hope of making through the school day she was going to have to eat something.
The young woman picked herself up off of the floor. She started making the trip to her father's room that she made more and more often as of late. She carefully opened the door to the small and dark room, sending a discarded liquor bottle rolling into the shadows as she did.
Natsuki took a deep breath before her scavenge hunt for spare change. Remember, you're not stealing. Dad's just really bad with handling his change.
Naota couldn't shake the nervousness he felt in the pit of his stomach. Despite feeling little to no guilt while wasting time all night he was starting to feel self conscious about the paltry poem he wrote in a rush this morning. He quickly sat and retrieved his pen a notebook. Maybe if the muses were kind he could get something, anything else down on paper before the girls arrived.
His head whipped around went he eventually heard the door open. It was only Natsuki. He silently waved at her but she simply ignored him and made a beeline to the closet in back. Moments later she emerged with a comic in her hand.
"Hey, if you're here first could you at least arrange some of the tables in the center like they were last time?" Natsuki suggested in her usual gruff manner.
"I'm kinda in the middle of something..."
"What so your gonna make a little lady like me do it? Some big strong guy YOU are..." Natsuki sneered.
"Yeah, whatever." Naota sighed before standing up and quickly re arranging the desks. "Happy?" He asked. The young woman ignored him already distracted by her manga.
The majority of Naota's page was still blank when the door opened again and the last 3 members of the Literature Club shuffled in, chatting among themselves.
"Naota!" Sayori broke away from the pack to take the seat next to her long time friend. "I'm glad to see you here!"
"Of course, I told you all I'd join didn't I?" Naota reassured, giving his friend a small smile.
"Yeah but I know committing to something new like this can be difficult," Sayori explained.
"And I'm sure we all appreciate it." Yuri added.
"Enough with the praise already, all the guy did was show up." Natsuki interjected, taking her seat at the center table.
Monika cleared her throat loudly, commanding attention from everyone before any more arguing could commence. "Hello everyone! I trust we all brought something to share today?" Monika declared, kicking off the first official poem exchange of the Literature Club.
Naota's heart began to pound. This was it, time to face the music. His dread only got worse as he snuck glances at the girl's poem's. Even from a distance they seemed more impressive then his few lines.
"Alright everyone, are we all ready? Lets exchange poems." Monika directed.
The group quickly divided, leaving Monika and Naota to pair off.
Great my crappy poem is about to be read by the crown jewel of our grade. Naota dreaded as he meekly exchanged papers with the emerald eyed girl.
First Try
Roses are red
Storm clouds are gray
I can't think of a rhyme
But I'm trying, OK?
Monika smirked as she finished the small poem. She waited quietly as her creation was somewhat bigger then this.
"Wow Monika this is great. It's kinda surreal. How did you write this?" Naota marveled.
"Well I just started with an idea and let my mind run with it. Sometimes it's important to just flow with a concept and not bog yourself down with overthinking." The chestnut haired girl advised.
"I see. My poem is absolute crap compared to this." Naota shamefully admitted.
"I don't think that."
"What? Really?" Surprise was apparent on Naota's face.
"It's your first attempt at something new to you right?"
"Yeah..."
"I think your poem expresses that pretty well." Monika assured.
Naota blushed a bit at the minor praise.
"And despite what your poem says you did managed to rhyme." Monika added.
Naota had been too nervous about his creation to notice this until now. "Yeah I suppose I did!"
"If your really not satisfied the most important thing is to not get discouraged. As long as you give it a chance that little voice will eventually break through and really express itself."
"Thanks Monika, that's really good advice." Naota grinned, his nervousness quickly dissipating.
"Anytime Naota, it's my job to try and help nurture everyone's writing skills."
Feeling a little bit better about himself Naota approached Sayori next.
"Ehehe our first poem swap! Isn't this exciting?" Sayori squealed.
"Don't get your hopes up too high." Naota leaned in closer to the girl before whispering. "To tell you the truth I didn't write mine until this morning."
"No way! Me too!" Sayori whispered back.
Well at least Naota wasn't the only slacker here. His optimism fell slightly as he saw Sayori's poem was nearly triple the length of his. She of course finished first and grinned at her friend as she waited for him to finish.
"Good job Sayori! That last line kinda gives away you wrote it this morning though."
Sayori leaned in closer, still whispering. "I made eggs and toast!."
"OK, but why are we still whispering?" Naota asked in a hushed tone, playing along.
"I don't know... because secrets are fun?" Sayori giggled.
"Anyway what did you think of my poem?" Naota finally asked.
"For your first time it was good. As your long time friend I can say it has a definite Naota-ness to it."
"I'm not sure how I should take that..." Naota deadpanned, well aware of his own flaws.
"Either way it'll be fun to revisit it in a few weeks and see how much you've grown. So don't you dare throw it out!" Sayori commanded, poking her friend in the chest a few times to drill in her point.
"Alright, alright I'll keep it safe and sound. I can't ignore an order from the vice president after all." Naota grinned at his friend. He wouldn't admit it but it felt very nice having someone so interested in his growth.
"Darn tootin'!" Sayori beamed back.
With his newly formed pact made Naota quietly waited for Yuri to become free again. Whatever she had been discussing with Natsuki must had been quiet intense as the smaller pink hair girl seemed to leave in a huff. He waited a moment before approaching.
"Hey Yuri." Naota greeted warmly, "Everything OK?"
"Oh Naota!" Yuri seemed to snap out of whatever thoughts preoccupied her. "Yes, everything is just fine. Natsuki and I rarely see eye to eye when it comes to writing styles, that's all."
"I don't think I've ever seen you argue something so passionately before."
"Well I maybe a little prideful in my style, I've worked long and hard on it."
Naota chuckled. "Well I wish I could tell you this was an even trade but my mind kinda ran out on me when I wrote this." Naota offered his poem.
"Well as long as you did your best I'm sure its fine." Yuri reassured as the two traded paper.
Of course Yuri's poem was leagues above his own. It fit the tall girl nicely with romantic words painting a mysterious scene in Naota's mind. He read it over a few times, silently wishing he had the brains to fully comprehend the work. He set the page down letting the final words echo in his head. "The light flickers. I flicker back."
"Wow this is pretty great Yuri! I thought all great poems had to be long epics but you made me feel a lot with just this." Naota complimented.
"Thank you." Yuri blushed a bit. " The choice of words is even more important than the length of the work. It's like being a painter and mixing just the right shade of color you need."
Naota nodded along with his club member's sage words. " I should probably write that down."
"It's something to keep in mind. When you get down to it the style that feels right for you might be totally different than mine. Unfortunately I couldn't gleam too much from your poem this time. You do seem to have a somewhat straight forward style, kind of like Natsuki."
"Yeah, it wasn't much to read was it?" Naota admitted.
"No, but I assume that will change over time. It'll get better as we all get comfortable with writing and sharing with each other."
"Next time then. Ill write something worth reading." Naota nodded with resolve.
Yuri seemed surprised at the silly little promise. She giggled and nodded in affirmation. "Y-yes let's do our best!"
Conversation in the room seemed to die down again as Naota turned to the last member to read his poem. She sat at the opposite corner of the large, makeshift table already staring and waiting for him. When their eyes met she exasperatedly sighed and waved him to come over. Something about the rude gestures made Naota want to stay in his seat until she had to get up and move but Sayori's words form the afternoon before eventually got him out of his seat.
"Give her time and she'll warm up to you."
Naota sat across from the smaller girl and the two engaged in a silent staring match, neither willing to greet the other. Finally a loud grumble came from Natsuki's stomach causing her to blush in embarrassment.
"Ignore that!" She quickly commanded before finally sliding her poem over to the young man. "Here let's get this done with already."
Yuri was right, Natsuki's poem was similar to his in length and straight forwardness. Even Natsuki's simple poem outdid his though. It rhymed, listing different animals and what they could do. In the end the rhyming scheme fell stating "People can try, but that's about it."
That last line tainted Naota with a sense of sadness and a little regret maybe? Most of the girls were pretty kind to him today, but he could easily see them all secretly feeling this way about him after his lame performance today. A dark corner of his mind agreed. Good ole' Naota. He tries but can never make the cut can he?
Naota redoubled his focus, tearing his mind away from that sad, familiar train of thought. He cleared his throat, grabbing Natsuki's attention. "That's a pretty good poem. What you did at the end there really shifted the tone and left an impression."
"Of course," Natsuki grinned confidently. "If you keep your message simple and easy to understand those little gut punches you sneak in hit all the more harder."
Naota took mental notes as he listened to his club member. Silence fell over the two again before Naota asked "What about my poem?"
"What about it?"
Naota opened his mouth only to say nothing. He really didn't know how to approach the combative young woman in front of him.
"The only thing I can honestly say about it is that at the very least you kept it short and didn't waste too much of my time," Natsuki said dismissively.
The confusion in Naota started to shift to anger. "Do you want to explain your constant attitude towards me? Did I do something that offend you that bad?" He finally confronted the rude young woman.
The question caused the shorter girl to contemplate for a moment. "Nothing, you didn't do anything to me. But people talk, and they don't say the nicest things about you Romeo. Am I really supposed to believe the only club you could find is one filled with cute, single girls?"
"Sayori wanted me to join." Naota was quick to counter.
"Whatever. The point is this club and my friends are way too important to me to have you mess it all up. So just know that I'm keeping my eye on you. The first sign of you being a creep and your ass is out of here. " Without another word but a harsh glare Natsuki stood and retreated to the classroom's closet.
Naota slouched in his chair, the fight suddenly leaving his body. Natsuki was dead wrong. He wasn't going to use the Literature Club to trawl for girls. Girls just led to problems and the last thing he needed was another heartache. No, the Literature Club was going to get him far away from that depressing hole. The club was going to help him improve himself!
Stewing in his thoughts he absentmindedly gathered up the two poems and tucked them away in his notebook. Now there was nothing he wanted to do aside from waiting for Monika to call the meeting adjourned.
During their daily walk home Sayori was quick to notice the cloud hanging over Naota's head. He denied it was anything important. He claimed he was just thinking about some difficult homework he had to do tonight. She didn't buy that excuse but decided to leave the matter alone.
"Well if you need help with that, or your poem you have my number." Sayori offered a bright smile while wagging her phone in the air.
"Thanks Sayori. See you in the morning!" Naota gave a quick wave before heading to his house.
Inside the only noise was the quiet murmur of the living room T.V.
"Hey I'm home!" Naota announced, setting his book bag down. He found his mother in the living room.
"Hello dear." She patted the seat next to her on the couch. "Come and sit. Tell me about your day."
Talking to his mom was a whole different world compared to talks with his dad. His dad always seemed to be expecting something from him, like everyday he was supposed to have accomplished some great task or made some major self improvement in some way. With his mom he could relax a bit. She was still a parent through and through. She had no problem letting him know when she didn't approve of his actions or his choices.
"And what about this new after school club? Tell me more about that." She asked after hearing the summery of his day.
He told his mother about his nervous exchange with Monika, the wise words from Yuri and how Sayori out performed him even though they both waited until last minute with their poems.
"Sayori's the vice president?" His mom clasped her hands together at the news. "It's so good seeing her apply herself!"
To top it off he told her about the ever prickly Natsuki.
"So your the only boy in the club?" His mother asked.
"Yeah, so far." Naota replied with a shrug.
"With those odds you might just end up writing your way into some girl's heart." His mother teased with a grin.
"What? No, a relationship is the last thing I need right now." Naota shook his head, dismissing the thought.
"Sometimes it still happens even when you don't mean it to. Whatever happens I'm sure you'll do the right thing when the time comes. Just don't forget to introduce her to your dad and me if it happens." His mom couldn't stop grinning at her embarrassed child.
"Don't get your hopes up." Naota sighed.
"Well your father is working a little later then usual tonight so dinner wont be for a bit."
"Sounds good. I'm gonna start on some homework then. Holler if you need me." Naota stood, slinging his book bag over one shoulder.
When he got upstairs to his desk he unloaded his bag, pausing when he found not one but two poems. Reading over them both he finally realized he must of swiped Natsuki's in midst of their argument.
'Natsuki...' he mulled over in his head one last time for the day. 'I guess if nothing else I can just keep trying with her. If things don't work out after school is really going to become a pain.'
He set the poems aside and took out a different textbook and got to his homework.
Like the poem said he could only try.