Gary Underwood

"We can still turn back."

I had no idea what day it was or what year it was, but at least I had been entertained. I failed the vast majority of the time. The Mexican cartels threw rocks at me, both the Bloods and the Crips tried to kill me, most people told me to fuck off, the Deceps actually got in a rap battle to judge who could tell me to fuck off the best. Some of their lines were really good. The one guy who went on a string of 'your momma' jokes gets an A+. His lines were inspired and the guy just spat fire.

At the end of the day only five of the slowly forming hamlets of criminals said they were on board. Midgard was in, the IRA was in, the Italian Mafia was in, apparently New Zealand had some mixed race Maori based gang who were in. The last success was a group of internet based criminals who called themselves the Collective. They seemed to be in pretty desperate straits and huddled around a couple of Tinkers that formed the leadership of their community.

"Meh, I'd rather see this through."

"Are you telling me we've gone too far to give up now? Because I have heard those words before and it doesn't normally end well."

I shrugged.

"If I fail, I fail, if we make it work though? Well I think it's the start of something beautiful."

I stopped my ship in front of the island the World tree stood on, they had parahumans, machine guns, weapons of all kinds, I only had a boat, a radio and my own words. I put out an anchor and powered on the radio.

"This is the Madonna, I want to talk."

There was radio silence, I repeated my comment on another frequency over and over again until.

"This is the World tree."

A spotlight was aimed on me, I relaxed in my lawn chair as little red dots covered the entirety of my boat.

"You're not welcome here."

I calmly brought out some wine that I had found and opened it, I poured it into a plastic cup and swirled it around.

"We said, you're not welcome here."

"I figured as much but I'm not trying to sneak back to Earth, I know why I'm here. I'm Ok with that, that said I want to talk about how I can help you."

"We have guns trained on your position."

I shrugged and took a sip, it was terrible wine, awful stuff.

"I know, you have all the power, but this, all of this is expensive. I looked at the math and you guys can be doing much better then you currently are, look just let me talk to your superior if he doesn't like what I have to say simply kill me, I mean one less convict in the world, right? But if he likes what I have to say then maybe you get a promotion? Either way you win."

I heard a exasperated sigh, the twinkling red dots slowly shifted.

"Whatever."

I waited until I heard a grizzled voice.

"Ok just for having the guts to stand there I'm willing to listen to you. I'm the commanding officer of the World tree. I have a Tthinker on me so if there's any mastery fuckery you will die, understood?"

I took a sip of the wine.

"That's more then reasonable sir."

"To who am I speaking too?"

"Gary Underwood, former accountant, I got sent here for embezzlement."

I waited in silence, enjoying the sound of the ocean.

"Looking you up, you turned yourself in, you owned up to your shit. That puts you above most of the garbage here, but you're still garbage, so what do you want?"

"To set up a trading post, a place were we can exchange plutonian goods for whatever goods you decide to offer."

"I'm not seeing the advantage, son."

I yawned.

"3.2 billion dollars a year, that's my rough guess of how much you make a year with an operating cost of a 100 million."

"That information is..."

"Not classified though I'm guessing its a low ball number, and I'm also guessing that it's getting more and more expensive. That you have to hire more personal, and the federal government is probably on your ass because they need more money."

"...I'm listening."

I took a breath.

"Currently you make money off of us once, exactly once. That's a waste, you could be making a lot more money."

"Are you trying to puff yourself up boy?"

"Oh no, I'm expendable, everyone outside that tree is expendable and that's why this is a good deal. Pluto has things that you simply can't find anywhere else in the solar system. We have trade goods that would make money on the open market, and you control the only source of goods in and out."

"And?"

"And if you set up a trading port, even if the goods were low quality shit we would come to buy it. The profit margin would be insane, and if we died getting those goods, well no one gives a shit about us anyway. I have five towns who say they're willing to cut a deal with you. If you open up a trading port I could get more."

I cracked my neck.

"At least think about it."

"Hmm ok, you know what? I'm going to kick this to my superiors, your boat stays right there while we talk it over."

"I will wait for you."

I cut out the radio and left the lawn chair.

"And now we wait, mind taking shifts sleeping?"

Pari was covered in red dots.

"This is insane."

"Maybe, but it's an insane world so I think I fit in just fine."

And with that the waiting started, the moon fell and rose three times before I got a crinkling message on the radio.

"Ok the Thinkers have looked through your plan, and we talked to some companies earth side. We're going to send a drone in with a map. That place will be where all trade between Pluto and the rest of the solar system will take place. We will control the goods, we will control the prices, fuck with us and you die."

"Understandable."

"And after you get that map you leave, I better not see your ass anywhere close to the World tree or your guts will be splattered all over the ground."

"I thank you for your time sir."

And with that I waited until I heard the clinking sound of a small cylinder hitting the deck. I grabbed it and went to the wheel. I slowly sailed away, Pari just stared at me.

"And that's it? You did it?"

I shrugged.

"I guess, now we tell people where to go and we-"

Her tongue was firmly down my throat, I enjoyed the kiss and she hugged me. I smiled and sailed on. The world was open before me and the future seemed to stretch out forever.