6th year was challenging to say the least. Between feigning interest in Death Eater politics with his Slytherin housemates, studying and regularly meeting with the headmaster to continue his study of Occlumency and further his physical and mental preparation for his role as a Death Eater spy, he was exhausted and had little time for himself.
What was worse though was seeing Lily in the distance, watching jealously as Potter made his advances on her and having to act indifferent to her. It never got any easier every time he walked past him acting aloof and ignoring him whilst cosying up to Potter and it reminded him of how truly alone he was now.
The only thing that made it bearable was when he got a chance to open the journal Lily had bought for him and read the messages she'd left him. Even through the written word she had a way of making him smile and it almost felt like old times as they talked about what had happened to them, he would tell her about his lessons with Dumbledore and bemoan the moronic fanatics and wannabe Death Eaters he was forced to hang around with and Lily would share the girl's inane gossip and bemoan the Marauders.
She also reassured him that her cosying up to Potter was just a part of the act, she had apparently realised that using her womanly charms on the besotted moron was a sure way to divert his attention away from harassing him and when he did get close enough that his wand hand started itching all she needed to do was distract his attention and tell him that it was not worth his time hexing him.
Not that this strategy was foolproof, Potter still enjoyed trying to hex him when she wasn't looking and Black was just as mentally unstable as ever and didn't miss any opportunity to exact his revenge on any slimy Slytherins who crossed his path. Fortunately, for them, he had more important matters to attend to than getting involved in long drawn-out fights exchanging childish hexes and chasing werewolves.
In fact, one of the things Dumbledore had him working on in his free time was learning to master more new spells and curses. Curses since it was widely known that he had come into Hogwarts with an extensive knowledge of curses, hexes and jinxes and was easily one of the most talented students in his year in DADA and a variety of other spells that would be useful to him as a spy including shield charms, healing spells, disillusionment charms and anti eavesdropping spells and he also worked him hard to see if he could cast a Patronus.
It was a notoriously difficult spell and one that he was determined to master not just because of the challenge, the fact that it could be used to relay messages and the fact that Patronuses were beautiful but because it was said that dark wizards were incapable of casting a Patronus as they were pure creations made using happy memories. If he was able to cast a Patronus, it would provide indisputable proof that he was not truly evil, he reasoned.
To this end, he worked hard, it was difficult and for a long time, all he managed to produce was a fine mist from his wand but was unable to produce a corporeal Patronus that was at least until the final week before Christmas when he concentrated hard on his happiest memories of being with Lily and her family and truly feeling accepted a time of innocence before Malfoy and Voldemort and Death Eaters and all the burdens and horrors that came with them.
"Expecto Patronus" he incanted in a loud, firm voice, he was amazed when he opened his eyes and found a beautiful shimmering blue doe staring back at him, perhaps Lilly was right about him after all doe's were gentle, graceful and shy noble creatures and made good spirit guides, the signs were fortuitous as they also embodied many qualities that would be essential for him as a future spy. Dumbledore congratulated him and he left in high spirits thinking that he would have to write about this to Lily, she would surely be excited and happy for him and he was interested to know whether she'd ever tried to cast a Patronus.
When he got back to his dorm and had drawn the curtains around his bed and cast privacy charms around him he opened his journal and was surprised to see a message already there, he read it eagerly.
Severus, I know you said we can't be seen together in school and in public and things will only get worse after you take the mark but my Mum's been asking me if you were planning to come over for Christmas and I wondered whether it would be possible. It's hardly as though anyone's going to be watching us and it's got to be better than spending Christmas alone with your Dad in that cold miserable house, it would be really nice if we could spend one last Christmas together don't you think? You could catch the Knight Bus from the station like last time and then come over to our house. Anyway, I hope you can make it, let me know, Lily
He read through it considering. He had been planning to stay at Hogwarts but he supposed that since none of the other Slytherins were staying it wouldn't make too much of a difference and Lily was right that he would really like to spend one last Christmas with her and her family. He'd have to talk to the headmaster though as it would look strange if any of his housemates saw him on the train since he always complained about going home unless he said his father had demanded that he come back, maybe the headmaster could open up a floo link to his house in Cokeworth or at least to Hogsmeade where he could catch the Knight Bus. He eagerly scribbled a reply, saying he'd ask and he told her all about successfully casting a Patronus.
So it was that a few days later, after doing some last-minute shopping in Hogsmeade and catching the Knight Bus from there to Cokeworth just before the Hogwarts Express was due in, he made his way through the frosty streets up to Lily's house dressed in his warmest clothes and knocked on the door.
He was greeted warmly by Mrs Evans "Severus! Come in, I'm so glad you could make it, Lily's just arrived" she said hugging him and ushering him through to the living room, which was already decked out with colourful paper chains and bows of holly with a fire blazing in the hearth and a cheerful Christmas tree in the corner just as he remembered. Lily's Dad was already sitting there relaxing and got up to greet him "Severus, good to see you son, merry Christmas"
"Thank you, Mr Evans, merry Christmas" he replied greeting him and soon finding himself engaged in a conversation about school. Before too long he was comfortably settled on the sofa with Lily, who had come down to join them and they were all enjoying mugs of Mrs Evans' hot chocolate and gingerbread men.
The next morning he woke up bright and early and looked around trying to remember where he was before he remembered that it was Christmas and he was staying at the Evans house. He smiled Christmas was always a happy affair where they were concerned unlike back home where you could have missed the fact that it was Christmas altogether aside from the fact that his father was even more blind drunk than normal.
He soon spotted his stocking hanging around the door handle and eagerly emptied it to reveal an orange, some chocolate and muggle coins, he smiled fondly some things never changed.
Lily was soon up and encouraged him to come up to her bedroom until her parents woke up, he sighed enjoying some alone time, the perfect start to his Christmas. She got a small present out of one of the draws and presented it to him "I wanted to give this to you in private" she explained as he looked at her in surprise.
He opened the box up to reveal an elegant slate grey ring carved with intertwining loops that formed a Celtic pattern around the outside until he looked more closely and saw that they were actually two snakes weaving in and out of each other.
"I saw it in one of the shops in Diagon Alley, the shopkeeper said it has special protective properties and helps strengthen a person's mental shields. Look, you can wear it like this if you want to keep it hidden" she added before holding a hand out for it and producing a strip of thin leather which she threaded it through before bringing it up to his neck as she stood behind him and tied the leather into a knot so it hung down from his neck like jewellery.
He examined it, marvelling at the simple but elegant design before tucking it under his shirt and casting a disillusionment charm over it as he felt the cool metallic ring against his chest. "Thank you, it's brilliant, I'm sure it'll be really useful. I've got something for you as well" he said before giving her a parcel in which was wrapped the best book he could find on protective charms. Lily was by far and away the best in charms class, this book had looked interesting and he wanted to make sure she could protect herself so he was sure she'd enjoy it and have no trouble mastering the charms.
She gasped "it's brilliant" she said flicking through it "it looks fascinating, thank you Sev" she said hugging him.
"Do you still have the pendent my Mum bought you?" she asked.
He nodded and retrieved it from where it was hung under his shirt "I always keep it on my person, why?"
She held out her hand for it and pocketed it when he handed it over "what are you doing with it?" he asked with concern, he'd worn it for so long he didn't like the idea of being parted from it.
She smiled mischievously at him "you'll see, it's a surprise" she said winking at him.
Later they made their way downstairs when they heard the rest of the house stirring and greeted her parents before settling in to open the presents.
Dumbledore had bought him some more interesting books, which he thought would aid his training.
Lily's parents had continued their tradition of giving him a homemade jumper, this one had a cauldron on it. There was also a scarf, hat and gloves all in Slytherin green and silver, he was always touched by both the gesture and the love and thought that went into making those clothes and they were always put to good use. They'd also bought him some books by his favourite muggle authors and some of his favourite sweets.
Lily had bought him a nice warm black cloak with a silver snake clasp made of a soft lightweight fabric with weatherproof charms woven into it, it looked perfect for travelling.
They spent the rest of the morning relaxing, reading and watching the TV before enjoying their Christmas Dinner. Mrs Evans was an excellent cook and he reckoned that no one could come close to her cooking except perhaps the house elves at Hogwarts and at Christmas, she always outdid herself with dishes full of roasted veg, crispy roast potatoes and of course the turkey and of course Christmas crackers and pudding for after they'd all recovered from overindulgence, it was a far cry from the meagre portions he was used to at Spinner's End. He would definitely miss Mrs Evans's home cooking.
The rest of the holidays passed in a similar fashion as he continued studying with Lilly, finishing his homework assignments, preparing to be initiated and just enjoying each other's company for the short time they had together in her bedroom or curled up in front of the fire, he wanted to cherish every moment. It was with reluctance that he gathered his belongings ready to return to Hogwarts not knowing when he'd be able to come back.
He made sure to show Lily's parents how much their care and kindness meant to him and hugged them back extra hard, they were like the family he'd never had growing up who had accepted him as one of their own without question and he was reluctant to leave their warm loving embrace for what may be the last time.
Author's Notes:
There is a lot of interesting information about the symbolism of the doe and their meaning in different cultures. Their qualities are indeed ones that would be useful to a spy and some of the notable facts I picked up are that they are considered messengers to the spirit world and guardians of the forest and in Snape A Definitve the author also looks into their meaning and significance in Arthurian Mythology. The website below proved very useful and an interesting read.
deer-meaning-symbolism-spirit-animal-guide
. /Snape-Definitive-Reading-Lorrie-Kim/dp/1940699134