Chapter 39
For the next few days, Padmé kept her distance from Anakin. It meant not seeing the twins, but she knew that she couldn't deal with their father for the time being. She'd done her best to accept that she and Anakin were not destined to be together, that he was moving on; but it was beyond her ability to do so. She knew that she could not avoid him indefinitely; they shared two children, after all. But Padmé knew herself well and knew that, for the time being, it would be best to stay away from Anakin. Instead, she threw herself into her work, something she had been doing for years to avoid her personal problems. With the gala coming up, there was plenty to do, and Padmé managed to keep herself busy.
As for Anakin, he was puzzled that he hadn't seen Padmé in days. They had been having dinner together most nights, spending the evening together with Luke and Leia. Things had been going so well, or so he thought. Reasoning that she was no doubt busy with her new station, he tried not to read too much into her absence from his life.
Dormé had agreed to stay with the twins so that Anakin could attend the gala. He didn't know her well, but knew that there was something on her mind. And he was willing to bet that it had something to do with Padmé.
"Thanks again," Anakin said as he put on his cloak. "I really appreciate it, Dormé"
She smiled as she sat with the twins as they ate their supper. "No need to thank me," she said. "I've missed them."
Anakin nodded. "I'm sure," he said. "Is …everything okay?" he asked, watching her closely.
Dormé looked up at him. "Of course," she said.
Anakin wasn't so sure, but didn't argue the point. "Okay, well I'll be off then," he said. "Be good," he said, kissing the tops of each twin.
"Oh, they're always good," Dormé said with a smile.
Anakin smiled. "You're right," he said. "Have a good evening."
"Have a nice time," Dormé called to him as he headed for the lift.
"Thanks!" he called back. But inside, he had his doubts. Anakin had never liked fancy parties, but decided that having Obi-Wan and Ahsoka with him would make it somewhat more tolerable.
The grand ballroom was full when Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka arrived. Music from an orchestra was heard, reminding Anakin of the possibility that he may be required to dance.
"This is quite the posh affair," Obi-Wan said as they looked around. "Looks like all the elite of Coruscant are here tonight."
"So why are we here?" Anakin remarked with a smirk.
Ahsoka laughed. "Look, there's Padmé," she said, indicating across the room.
Anakin turned to see her, not at all surprised that she looked utterly gorgeous. She wore a stunning mauve evening dress with a high-necked bodice and thin spaghetti straps. Beautiful embroidery with sequins adorned the dress from the neckline onto the skirt. The floor length chiffon skirt moved gracefully as she moved. Her hair was piled high on her head, and adorned with glittering sequins that matched her gown. Anakin could barely tear his eyes from her.
"Anakin did you hear me?"
Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, realizing that he'd spoken. "Sorry, what did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted to get a drink," Obi-Wan said.
"Oh, yeah, let's go," Anakin said.
As they drew closer to the bar that had been set up, Anakin spotted Palo making his way towards Padmé. He smirked as he noted the rather loud green and black sequenced tuxedo that he wore. What a jackass, he reflected.
"Well? Shall we check out the items?" Ahsoka asked as they stood drinking their wine.
"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "Shall we, Anakin?"
"Yeah, I really want to see the art that fop Palo brought," he said.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka looked at each other in confusion.
"Who's Palo?" Ahsoka asked as they made their way to the displays.
Anakin explained who he was as they had a look at the items. "He's the duffus talking to Padmé right now," he added, looking in their direction.
"Nice suit," Ahsoka said with a smirk.
"Yeah, he's really stylish," Anakin said with a frown.
Ahsoka observed him for a moment. "You're jealous of him," she said.
Anakin nearly choked on his wine. "Excuse me?"
"You're jealous, it's clear, isn't it, Obi-Wan?" Ahsoka said.
"Yes, quite clear," Obi-Wan said as he examined a painting.
Anakin frowned, not wanting to admit that they were right. "You're both crazy," he muttered as he looked at the painting Obi-Wan was examining. "That's hideous," he stated.
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, it's quite jejune," he said.
Anakin smirked when he noted the artist's name. "What a surprise," he said, pointing at the placard. "Good old fancy pants."
Ahsoka laughed at his comment. "Where are your contributions?" she asked him.
"All over the place," Anakin said, looking around. "I donated a lot of stuff."
"Are you going to bid on anything?" Ahsoka asked as they continued to check out the auction items.
"I guess I should," Anakin said. "But not that garbage," he added, indicating another of Palo's artworks.
Ahsoka smirked. "I'm sure we can find something for you to spend your money on," she said. "Come on."
Padmé had noticed Anakin walk in the door with his comrades, but made sure that she gave Palo her attention.
"Well, this is quite the turn out," Palo said as he stood at Padmé's side. "You must be delighted."
Padmé nodded. "I am," she said. "We're going to raise a lot of money tonight. We'll be able to help a lot of people."
Palo smiled indulgently. "Yes, of course," he said. "Would you do me the honour of a dance?" he asked, holding a hand out to her.
"Of course," she said.
Anakin watched from across the room, having lost all interest in the auction. He frowned. Surely, she's not interested in that wimp, he thought. Is she messing with me?
"Sir?"
Anakin looked down at the serving droid that had stopped before him. It was carrying a tray laden with wine glasses. "Yeah, thanks," he said, taking one and leaving his empty one on the tray. He watched Padmé for a moment, and then decided to get some air.
The evening air was cool as Anakin stood there looking out over the city. He took a drink of his wine, thinking about Luke and Leia, missing them. He would much rather be there with them, giving them their bath, reading them bedtime stories, than here with the elite snobs of Coruscant.
"Ah, here you are," Obi-Wan said as he joined Anakin. "Why are you out here? The party's inside."
"I know," Anakin said. "I hate parties."
Obi-Wan smirked. "I know you do," he said. "Why don't you take a look at the items, I'm sure Padmé is expecting you to make a bid or two."
"Yeah, I'm sure she is," Anakin replied.
Obi-Wan frowned. "I don't understand you, Anakin," he said.
"What do you mean?" Anakin asked. "What's not to understand?"
"Why would you be so jealous of that idiot Palo when you don't want a relationship with Padmé anymore?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I'm not jealous," Anakin said. "I just don't like the guy. He's…arrogant and condescending."
"Yes, I'm sure he is," Obi-Wan agreed. "But that's irrelevant, don't you think? Padmé considers him a friend, and that's all that matters."
Anakin frowned. "Yeah, I know," he muttered. "I'm just being…"
"Petulant? Stubborn? Immature?" Obi-Wan offered with a smile.
Anakin chuckled. "I guess a little of each," he said. "Okay, let's go find some piece of junk that I don't need to spend money on," he said.
"That's the spirit," Obi-Wan quipped.
Anakin made his way through the auction items as Ahsoka and Obi-Wan sought out the refreshments. He was just about to leave a bid when he sensed Padmé nearby. He looked up and watched as she approached him. He sensed that she had her guard raised high; why, he didn't know.
"Hello Anakin," she said.
"Hi," he said. "You look beautiful."
She smiled briefly. "Thank you,"
"Where have you been?" he asked. "I haven't seen you in days, and you haven't been answering your comm."
"I've been busy," she replied. "This evening took a lot of planning."
"No doubt," Anakin said, sensing her veiled resentment, but not understanding it. "Congratulations, it's a huge success."
Padmé simply gave him a perfunctory smile. "Are you here alone?"
"No," Anakin said. "Obi-Wan and Ahsoka went to get something to eat. I ate with the kids earlier."
"Julie isn't with you?" she asked.
Anakin frowned. "No, why would she be?" he asked.
"Please, I know you two are involved," she said. "At least have enough respect for me not to deny it anymore," she said, turning to walk away.
"Excuse me?" he asked, taking her by the arm. "What the hell does that mean?"
Padmé looked at him and then around to ensure no one was witnessing their exchange. "I don't want to get into this here," she said.
"Fine," he said. "Let's go outside," he said, taking her by the hand. Padmé let him lead her to a nearby door and out onto the balcony. "I need you to explain what your meant by that."
Padmé looked away from him, not wanting to get into an argument with him, but knowing it was inevitable at this point. "I saw the two of you," she said, looking out over the city. "In your apartment."
Anakin frowned, growing more confused. "You mean…last week when you dropped the kids off? So?"
She turned her eyes to him. "No, not last week," she said. "A few nights ago. You had invited me for dinner, and I showed up in time to see the two of you kissing on the sofa. She was on top of you, so please don't try and tell me nothing is going on. I mean, I know we're divorced, and I don't have any say in who you spend time with," she went on. "But spare me the protestations and the lies, Anakin. I don't deserve that."
Anakin frowned. "You were there to see that, but not to see me push her away," he stated flatly.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, you saw the kiss, which I won't deny," he said, "but you didn't see what happened next. You didn't see me push her away or tell her to leave, did you?"
"No, I left immediately," she said. "I didn't want to see any more."
"And assumed the worst," he added. "Right? You assumed that I wanted her, that we went ahead and had sex on that sofa, right?"
Padmé grew uneasy under his line of questioning. "Well can you blame me for thinking that after what I witnessed?"
Anakin said nothing, her words cutting him. "I guess I figured that you believed me when I said there was nothing going on between her and me," he said. "I guess I thought that you knew me better."
Padmé didn't know what to say. She had jumped to the worst possible conclusion, despite what he had told her. "I don't know what to say," she said finally. "I'm sorry, Anakin."
Anakin didn't reply, and simply walked over to the balcony railing and leaned his forearms on it as he gazed out at the city. "I don't know either," he said. "I thought we were making progress, you and me," he said. "We've been getting along so well, and, I thought, getting close again. Maybe I was kidding myself. Maybe we're both kidding ourselves to think we can ever get back to where we trust each other completely again."
"I do trust you!" she cried, taking his arm.
"No, you don't," he said. "If you did, you wouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You wouldn't have assumed the worst of me." He turned to look at her. "I can't keep doing this, Padmé," he said. "It's just too hard."
Padmé's eyes filled with tears. "Ani," she said. "I'm sorry! I …I just get so insecure at the thought of you with anyone else, but that's only because I love you! I want you back, you know that!"
Anakin sighed, and looked back over the city. "You once told me that our marriage is not a marriage, if there isn't any trust," he said. "Remember? The night I came home to find Rush Clovis trying to kiss my wife, the night you told me it was over. Trust, that's what it was all about. And we're still back to that same issue, Padmé, trust. You say you trust me, but then you assume things about me that say otherwise. How am I supposed to feel?"
She walked over to him and linked her arm through his. "I was wrong to jump to conclusions," she said. "And for that, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."
Anakin turned and looked at her. "Not sure there is anything else to say," he replied.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said again.
Anakin gave her a small smile, and wiped a tear from her face. "So am I," he said.