Lol
Ya'll are gonna hate me
Just get to it hehe
~TH~
Caleb was at the absolute end of his rope. There was nothing. The hotel was the last lead he had and all that gave was more questions. Why did Dean ditch his phone? He knew that Dean left after his card was maxed.
But where had he gone? If his card was maxed then he'd have to either be hustling or he was… the idea of Deuce being out there on the streets made him feel physically ill. It didn't matter that Dean was technically an adult or that the kid had seen far too much in his life. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve to have a father that hit him or a brother that thought the only abuse that went too far was physical.
Sam may not have intended for John to actually hit Dean, but his entire scheme had been an attempt to get John mad at Dean. Sam's idea to get his dad to leave him alone was to point the man's anger at Dean. It was a tactic Sam had been using for years.
And now it had finally gone too far.
Caleb took a breath, trying to push back the raging anger. He needed to keep his head clear.
He was about ready to just call his dad.
Screw the Brotherhood and whatever John and Sam wanted.
John didn't even care about his own son missing. The "Well he'll come back because he has no where else to go" attitude just added to the psychics desire to change directions and kill the eldest Winchester.
Caleb grabbed his duffel, shoving phone in his pocket. After finding the phone and no Dean, Caleb had checked the surrounding towns and hadn't come up with anything. No leads at the hotels. There was that almost lead at the bar but it didn't sound like he'd stuck around and he definitely wasn't going to get anything out of that place.
The pain hit him quickly. It was a pain that he had never felt before. This was raw and intense. Caleb dropped to his knees, grabbing at his head. It felt like someone was attempting to carve out a piece of his brain.
Then it stopped.
His brain still felt scrambled as the pain receded. When the pain receded and he could think again, something felt off. His head felt empty. There was a throbbing ache in the very pit of his chest.
Everything clicked into place with what felt like a physical shifting of his powers.
It was gone.
Deuce.
Their link.
It had been severed.
Caleb's hands scratched at the carpet trying to physically grasp the psychic string that had been there since Dean was seven.
The North Star in his psychic map had blinked out and with it all his sense of direction.
He pressed a hand to his forehead trying to fight the headache and force a reconnection. There was nothing.
It felt like someone had taken a knife to the support system of his brain and it was all falling in on itself. A deep and angry emptiness carved from what had been the only good thing in life.
He blindly reached for his phone, dialing the first number he could think of. The one who was responsible.
The phone connected, the surprise was overshadowed by the grief and anger.
"Where's Deuce?" but John wouldn't know. He couldn't. John was at fault here.
"Well hello to you too, Junior." He could practically see the eyeroll. He didn't get it. He didn't understand what he had done. He had to understand. He had to hurt. Hurt like Caleb was hurting.
"He's dead. Don't you understand? The connection is gone! He's not there!" He'd never experienced anything like this. He never wanted to again. He wanted it back. That connection. That guiding light of his life.
There was a pause on the other end. "What are you-? Did you have a vision? What did you see?"
"No John!" WHy didn't he get it?! Why couldn't he feel the same debilitating ache that Caleb felt? He was Dean's father! "Our connection was cut! He's. Not. There. His consciousness isn't on this side of the fricken veil!" If it was he'd know. This wasn't like all those years ago when Dean had momentarily blinked off. That had been less jaring. Less… permanent.
"No." Was the eventual whisper. "No. You're wrong."
"Well what did you friggin expect?!" Caleb was losing his resolve. "Did you really think there wouldn't be a line?! That you could just do whatever the heck you wanted and there would be no consequences?!" He brought a hand to his head. Having his skull set on physical fire had to be less painful.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Reaves!"
"I know you threw your son out on the streets after beating the crap out of him. I've spent the last two weeks looking for him and all I have to show for it is his cellphone and a maxed credit card. And I know that he's gone!" the last was said with such ferocity that Caleb had to stop. His own words finally sinking in.
Dean was dead.
He'd failed.
He was dead.
"How-" a sigh. "Sam."
"Don't make this about him. For once lets make this not about you or about Sam or about the fricken Triad or the Brotherhood. This is about Dean. Your son! Your son who is dead!" The last phrase was accompanied by a sob. He needed to get a grip. Think about this logically. But he couldn't. Why should he? Why should he do anything?
"You're serious." And maybe John was finally starting to understand. Maybe the horror of the situation was sinking through that thick Winchester skull.
"I'm sorry." For everything. For not protecting him better. For not doing his job. For himself, losing a piece of himself. And even a little bit for John. The man's son was dead. Regardless of the circumstances that had to garner some sympathy.
He heard the phone drop.
"John?"
Nothing.
"Dad? Dad what's wrong?"
Caleb's hand tightened around the phone. He considered ending the call now, letting himself fall apart in the silence of an empty motel room. He'd already lost his battle with tears. The rest of the grief would only hold out for so long before it would engulf him.
"Dad what- Dean. Dad what happened?"
Dean would kill him if he abandoned Sam. Even if the kid deserved it. It didn't matter. The anger could come later. Right now- right now he didn't know what to do.
"Sam?" He said into the phone, hoping that the faint voice at the other end would hear him.
A light click signified the boy picking up the phone. "Caleb? Caleb, did you find him?"
"Sam-"
"No."
"I'm sorry."
"No. You're wrong."
"I- I wish I was."
"Did you find him?" the voice was so quiet it could barely be heard. The same question but with such different meaning.
"No. But I know." And he wished he didn't. If it wasn't for the utter emptiness of knowledge he could go about his life pretending that Dean was away living his best life. But he couldn't. He couldn't when he felt it with every breath he was currently forcing into his lungs.
"Then he could still be alive! You don't know-"
"I know, Sam!" He snapped. "I can feel it. He's not- he's not here!" No one else could understand. No one else felt it. No one else understood what it was like to feel your guiding star explode and cease to exist.
"Why-why didn't you stop it!?
Caleb let out a harsh laugh that sounded more like a sob. "I don't know, Sam, why did you let him leave?" He was going to try. He was going to try to be soft and understand that Sam was hurting but not now. Not like this.
"Sam give me the phone." John Winchester's voice was raw.
It almost soothed Caleb's anger. Almost.
"Where are you, Caleb?"
"Outside of Wickford, Mighican. I was about to head out. It's where Deuce- where he was last seen."
"Stay there. I'm on my way."
"The Triad-"
"Let me take care of them, kid. Just stay put. Don't do anything crazy."
"John-"
"I know, kid." And this time Caleb actually believed it.
The call ended and Caleb dropped his phone to the floor. A gut wrenching sob broke through as the rest of his defenses broke down. He curled over himself, letting the pain wash over him.
Deuce was dead.
~TH~
Lol I actually have to write the next chapter. I got behind *nervous laughter*
Hold on a couple more chapters and we'll get back to Dean. Let's deal with Brotherhood trauma first hehe
Everything will be explained in time.
In other news, I finally finished (i started it around 2:30 pm and finished it at 2:30 am while still living life) Goliath. Did it break me? Yes. There's a reason I've had it sitting downloaded for a year without actually reading it.
Maybe I'll channel that as I write the next chapter ;)
Anyway, please let me know any thoughts you have.
As of right now I plan for the next chapter to be from Sam's POV so you can imagine how much fun that's gonna be...
Love ya'll!
Life's been a bit rough lately so please be patient with me. Writing is my destresser but sometimes you get so stressed you can't even destress...
Anyway,
Much love and God bless,
Jamie