A/N 1: There's an interlude chapter posted at the same time as this one, so go back and read it if you haven't.

Chapter 8: "The Children of Summer"

-[[[]]]-

Yui watched as Unit-01 and Unit-02 dragged the Angel ashore. An occasion for champagne or celebratory sake had fallen right into her lap, and still, any such gestures felt hollow.

Her office buzzed with activity. Computers hummed, their cooling fans working overtime. Screens populated with information and readouts at a rate impossible to interpret for the average person. Yui could probably parse the information in total if she had a spare week, and if she was paying attention, but easier to run them through the MAGI and let the wise men pass judgement.

One area where Yui was unfortunately reliant on Naoko. In the spheres of programming and cracking, Yui could hold her own, but the family Akagi would run circles around her. The MAGI would always be their domain just as the EVA-series would always be Yui's.

Melchior, Casper, Balthazar. Unit-00, Unit-01, Unit-02. Naoko, Kyoko, Yui. Shinji, Asuka, Rei. Three was such a convenient number. Three fates, the Trinity. She let her mind wander, doing calculations with three at their crux for fun, hoping one of them would contain the answer she sought – the way back into her son's heart. The way to save his soul.

"Still watching the feed?" She heard Fuyutsuki's voice, followed by his footsteps. "You've detailed the plan practically down to the exact number of steps everyone's supposed to take. It's all down to the execution now."

Professor Fuyutsuki brought her back. A scene played in her mind of the man scolding her for daydreaming, even though Yui chewed through every project he gave. Simpler times.

Truth be told, Yui was only observing because Shinji and Asuka remained in danger, and to calm her nerves. Professor Fuyutsuki was otherwise correct; unless someone seriously screwed up, the plan was in place. Yui didn't know whether they would come out with a pristine new Angel core, as the nature of these creatures was always mercurial, but the ploy was in action.

But there was another reason Yui squirreled herself away inside of her office, upon returning to Tokyo-3. She needed space to think. Her mind was a door that had been kicked in and was one hinge away from falling. And it was loud. Voices echoed. Telling her she was a bad mother, a bad wife, and that she shouldn't be here at all and her very presence was causing everything to spiral out of control. And she hardly disagreed with them.

Nothing would change, of course. The plans would continue forward, to one conclusion or another. But she could see the effects of her actions on Shinji. And the day Asuka would come to hate her as well was fast approaching. Probably Rei as well, if her sense of self remained in the end.

"I'm just…having a moment," Yui said. "I accomplished everything I wanted on the trip. Mostly. But it was rough."

"Shinji still upset at you?"

"I don't know. Probably." Yui swiveled around in her hair, looking her former professor in his eyes. "He said he wasn't mad, but he is. And confused."

"Well…" Fuyutsuki pulled up a chair from across the room, sitting across from Yui. "you clearly didn't leave your emotional intelligence back in Unit-01."

"He's my son. I'm supposed to know these things."

"He's a strong boy. Got a real backbone when push comes to shove." He cracked a rare smile. "Gets that from his mother."

"Clearly." Her tone indicated otherwise. "I'm a weak woman, Professor. My son has more strength in his pinky finger than I do in my whole body."

"If that were true, Yui, you'd still be crawling up the walls in Terminal Dogma. Honestly, if we weren't facing metaphysical annihilation, you'd probably warrant serious medical study. The fact that you can function at all is a miracle."

For a second, Yui thought back to the Angel battle that had nearly taken Shinji's life, and a statement she hadn't given much credence at the time. "Shinji said something interesting, but when…well, I told him pretty much everything. He said maybe my soul, or my mind, wasn't broken permanently. Like maybe they would come back."

"Could be true. We're in uncharted waters, Yui."

"I…For so long, I wanted to be the person who Shinji thought I was, and that's all I wanted to be. Even if it was a lie. But now…I feel something coming back."

"So, like you're becoming whole again?"

A crooked smile crossed Yui's lips. "You know it's not that easy, Professor. My mind's always going to be broken, and I won't ever have those parts of me back unless I dive into Unit-01 again and drag them out. But I keep going over what's happened in my mind, and what I see makes me ill. Sick, even."

Her former professor hung his head. "You picked just about the worst time to start growing a conscience, Yui."

"No. This doesn't stop what we need to do. Just makes my job harder, I suppose." Yui pressed her head into her hands, letting out a long breath. "What changed about me, Professor?"

An idiotic question on the surface, and Fuyutsuki's expression reflected that. Yui clarified. "I mean, what's different about me, aside from the…obvious? From the moment we met in your office so long ago, until now. What happened?"

"What's bringing this on, Yui?"

"I've just been recounting my actions up to this point. They're very erratic, as you would imagine." She shook her head. Going through her memories was mix of shame, embarrassment, and a little pride, worryingly. "It's only going to get worse from here. How do I fix it?"

Fuyutsuki leaned back, took a few moments to consider his words. "Honestly? You don't."

"What?"

"You don't fix it," Fuyutsuki said. "you thought you would bring Shinji to Tokyo-3 and be a perfect mother and have him pilot Unit-01 with no compunctions and stick it to SEELE all at the same time. But it's not possible. That's what changed, Yui."

"And I didn't care about all that before." The man wasn't wrong. From the awkward family dinner to trying to hide Rei's purpose to their conversation on the Over the Rainbow. It was all a farce, and one with an extremely short expiration date. "You know, my first thought after Unit-01 threw me out was 'this is wrong. This is a mistake.' And then, for a while, I deluded myself into thinking it was a good thing. How foolish of me."

"You know it's the boy, right?" The man took a deep breath. "It's always been the boy."

Yui inclined her head at Fuyutsuki. She didn't intend the gesture to be threatening, but still, Professor Fuyutsuki drew back a bit.

"I'm not trying to speak of him in a negative way, Yui. But your love for Shinji is both your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. I know it, Gendo knows it, and you better believe Keel Lorenz knows it."

The head of SEELE. His gruesome smiling visage taunted Yui. Fuyutsuki was right, of course. She was being played like a fiddle by that garbage can of a man. What did Keel Lorenz have to worry about if he could race his fingers across a control panel and control Yui's every move?

Yui had always chided Gendo for not caring enough, without realizing that caring too much was a worse problem. This had always been the problem. And Yui felt like an idiot for taking this long to see, even though the answer was dangling in plain view.

"I need some time to think, Professor," Yui said, sitting back up. "thank you for your honesty, but I just…I need to process. Think about where to go from here."

"Of course."

As Fuyutsuki made for the exit, he hesitated as if he was leaving something unsaid.

"Just put your head down, and do the work, Yui." His hand wrapped around the metallic door handle, pulling the door back. "Shinji doesn't have to understand. He might never understand. But you're going to drag him through this conflict and out the other side. Just have faith that, one day, he'll realize your actions were for the best."

For the best. Those words had started this whole mess. Building the EVA-series was for the best. Going inside Unit-01 was for the best. Ends justify the means. As much as Yui hated SEELE, even Keel Lorenz likely thought his actions justified. His actions were right and he would bend the world to his will to enact his vision.

A strange feeling, not knowing how to proceed. Yui had her plans and rolled her dice, but Shinji made her re-evaluate everything. Her head was pounding, the thought of loosing her grip on Shinji made her sick, and she wanted nothing to return to the days before all of this. When Shinji still thought the world of her.

Perhaps Fuyutsuki was right. Maybe the answer, as before, was simply to let go.

-[[[]]]-

-[[[]]]-

Piloting with Asuka was going to be harder than Shinji thought.

The clean-up operation, as far as Misato said, went pretty much perfectly to plan. A welcome relief, as they didn't really need anymore complications after the Over the Rainbow battle. Shinji didn't know why they weren't just killing the Angel, but his opinion on matters at NERV were rather low on the totem pole, and whether he would receive the truth upon asking about the creature was an open question.

As far as Asuka was concerned, however, this was a disaster. A complete and total disaster.

"I shouldn't have ever let you inside of Unit-02," Asuka was saying, as she unpacked box number forty-two out of the hundred moving boxes she brought from Germany. "you probably infected it with your bad piloting genes or something. That's probably why they brought me over, anyway. NERV couldn't stand the embarrassment of your lack of piloting skills."

Shinji had one of his schoolbooks open, trying to study over the sound of Asuka's complaining. Being an EVA pilot didn't excuse bad grades, Mom and Rei made that abundantly clear. Rei. Shinji needed to check-in on her, and he expected a lecture about fighting an Angel without her present when he did. But what else could do at the time?

Mom hadn't reached out in a couple days. The silence was odd, and if Shinji wasn't afraid of what else she might say, he would have called her himself. Telling him lies and truth didn't matter as long as you used them correctly; Shinji didn't believe Mom on that front, but he wanted a couple days in Tokyo-3 without his entire worldview being challenged.

"I thought we did fine," Shinji said. "and Misato said so too."

"Fine? What kind of man is okay with fine?"

If Shinji had learned one lesson from the past few days, he had learned that the Asuka around others and the Asuka around only him were two separate people. More and more, Shinji was convinced that his job was less piloting a giant death robot and more being Asuka's punching bag during her stay in Japan.

"Asuka, I didn't even know those things still existed until a couple months ago. Fine is – "

"I need you to turn around." Asuka's fingers were rapt against an unopened box. "Now."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so."

"But – "

"Now."

With a defeated breath, Shinji took his chair and moved to the other side of the kitchen table, then dragged his schoolwork over afterwards. He heard a box being ripped open behind him, and then the rustling of clothing.

"So, when are you going take me to see Rei?" Asuka asked. "It's about time I met her in-person."

"I thought you didn't like her?"

"I don't. She's weird. But we're going to be working together, right?"

"Okay. But she might still be a little out of it."

"She's always a little out of it, from what I can tell."

"She's nice, Asuka, she just doesn't like being around people much."

"Well, I'd have to ask – "…Mom where she is. The words stuck in Shinji's throat. "You can call my mother and ask where she's at. I'm not sure if she's still in the Medical Ward or if she's been moved back to her apartment."

"Why don't you call her? She's your mom."

"I…It's just…things are still weird between us, is all."

"Wish I still had a mom to feel weird about."

A question rushed to the fore of Shinji's mind. He didn't know where the query came from, but the words flowed from his mouth regardless. "What was your mom like, Asuka?"

"Hm?"

"Just asking."

Asuka didn't say anything. Had Shinji offended her, or asked too personal of a question? No, Asuka would have told him without fail to mind his own business. After an awkward minute, the girl finally spoke.

"I don't remember much about her. She worked a lot. She had a foul mouth, got annoyed easily. Yelled at my papa all the time, when papa was around. She wasn't a warm person, like Doctor Ikari. But I could tell she loved me, in her own way."

"Oh."

"What?"

"I was just surprised you answered, is all."

"I'm in a good mood today." She snorted, her voice going high. "Hey, Shinji?"

On instinct, Shinji angled his head towards Asuka, then angled it back in a hurry with a blush on his face. Asuka burst out laughing. Was Shinji really going to have to live with this red-haired demoness from now on?

"I just wanted to see your face. You're such an idiot."

Shinji let out a hard breath and picked up his phone. "Misato probably knows where Rei is. I'll call her."

-[[[]]]-

-[[[]]]-

After Kaji's ominous warnings on the Over the Rainbow, Misato took to making sure her small arsenal of pistols were cleaned and properly maintained, after switching up her schedule so that she had daily sessions at the firing range. Not that the woman ever let them get rusty, but Kaji was in the know, and Misato wasn't. If Kaji was telling her a storm was coming, then Misato was sure as shit going to batten down the hatches.

On the table were a couple of disassembled standard JSSDF issue pistols, two combat knives, some empty magazines, some boxes of bullets, and a couple flashlights. She could hardly have her weapons out at the apartment with two children, after all, Yui would freak.

What was going to happen? What form would it take? Misato hadn't the slightest. Kaji was an inexplicable creature at the best of times. She couldn't imagine anyone would try and intentionally fuck with the operations of NERV, considering they were keeping all of humanity alive, but she didn't think the JSSDF would actually try to haggle over the Positron Rifle either. Humanity could be suicidal in dragging itself down, even when the best play was to work together.

They – the nebulous they that Misato was sure existed but couldn't put a name to - couldn't blow up NERV, scuttle the EVAs, or kill the children. And they probably needed a staff as well to run the place. Those three facts were the only life preservers Misato could cling to. But plans were messy, and shit could definitely go wrong.

In any case, Section Two was on high alert, and Misato wasn't letting her guard down. All they could do was wait.

She heard heels hitting hard floor from behind, and knew Ritsuko was approaching before she even saw her signature mop of blonde hair.

"What's going on now?" Misato asked. "Did the moon fall from orbit or something?"

Ritsuko chuckled. "At this point, I wouldn't be surprised. You getting ready for war in here?"

"Just my military training kicking in. Always be prepared and all that."

"I was just worried you were heading out to assassinate someone."

Misato picked up one of the disassembled pistols. "Just being overly cautious."

"I'll take your word for it." Stepping into view, Ritsuko's always calculating eyes examined the table before her. "Your boyfriend's been making the rounds already. He's tried hitting on me Maya and I already. And now I'm pretty sure he's talking to my mother."

"He better watch out, Naoko might actually take him up on that offer." Misato couldn't help but laugh. Would serve him right. "Kaji's just messing around. He's not actually interested."

"Oh, I know. There's only one woman for him." And Ritsuko locked eyes with her.

"Yeah, well, that woman is unavailable. Sorry."

"You never know. So, are you really harboring two teenagers under your roof now?"

"Asuka's a pilot as well. Gotta keep her safe and in one place."

"And how's Mama Yui feel about that?"

"Hell if I know." And Misato took some cleaning liquid and went to work on her second pistol. "Yui's been out of pocket since we got back. I don't even know if she knows."

"She's the Commander's wife. She knows."

"Well, if it's a problem, I suppose I'll hear about it," Misato said. "so, what's up? I know you didn't venture all the way over here just to catch up."

In response, Ritsuko took an item from her coat jacket and – carefully – a placed a photo on the table. The picture depicted a teenage girl with brown hair tied into pig tails, red-rimmed glasses, and wearing a Tokyo Technical uniform.

"You recognize this girl?" Ritsuko asked. "She's one of Shinji's classmates, apparently signed him up for the music club. She got flagged while you were gone. Thought you should know."

"She's probably like fifteen, Ritsuko."

"What better way to get close to the three most important children on Earth?"

"They don't know anything. Rei knows some, but she's not going to talk or be intimidated." And besides, how much the girl even remembered after her valiant sacrifice was still in question. "I'm not throwing a child into one of our cells for Section Two to rough up, especially when she's probably not even involved in anything."

"Who said anything about roughing up? You might just need to keep an eye on her is all."

"Why did she get flagged anyway?"

"One of the techs reported it. Apparently, his daughter talked to her and came home asking if people got 'disappeared' at NERV and some other things troubling things. Just seemed odd to him."

One of Misato's pockets started vibrating. She nodded towards Ritsuko, and the woman returned the gesture; Misato stepped outside of the room while pulling the phone to her ear and answering.

"Katsuragi here."

"Oh, Misato, are you busy?"

"No, not busy, Shinji. You and Asuka doing alright?"

"More or less." The boy's tone didn't exactly inspire confidence. "Asuka wanted to see Rei. Did she get moved from the Medical Ward while we were gone, or is she back home?"

"She's staying with your mother. We're still trying to assess the extent of her memory loss, and we thought a change of location would be good for her." Something nagged at Misato. Not that she didn't appreciate talking to Shinji, but why was the boy calling her? "Things still rocky between you and your mom?"

"I guess. Why?"

"Because you would have been having this conversation with her otherwise."

Misato didn't hear anything back on the other end. Maybe she had gone too far.

"Listen, I know my advice didn't exactly pan out last time, but I just want you both to get along. That's all I want. So, can you stop avoiding her? I know she would appreciate the support right now."

"I…I guess I can try."

"That's a good boy. Now go take Asuka to see Rei. It's not polite to keep a girl waiting."

Misato walked back into the room, finding Ritsuko still examining her arsenal. With the phone call squared away, Misato continued her work, picking up her cleaning materials.

"Shinji calling for back up?"

"Not yet. But he was close to asking, judging by his tone." Misato cut her eyes at her friend. "You know, eavesdropping is wrong, Doctor."

"I didn't need to move much. Your voice carries. You think they're going to patch things up?"

"I don't know." Truly, she didn't. There was some sort of massive disconnect between the two, and Misato couldn't see where the cords were to plug them back together. "That's the thing, Ritsuko. What happened, happened. You know as well as I that sometimes there's just no fixing it."

-[[[]]]-

-[[[]]]-

Mom's apartment was hardly the place Shinji wanted to be today. Perhaps he didn't want to brave the heat of the endless summer or actually wanted to finish his homework for once; Shinji searched for an excuse, but nevertheless was escorting Asuka over to Mom's apartment to see Rei. Mom was probably at work anyway, but the chance of her showing up – or worse, of Father showing up – irked him.

He wanted to turn and run the other way. Mom used to be a source of comfort, and now she wasn't. Shinji didn't quite know how to parse this new development yet.

There were four Section Two agents shadowing them today, up from the usual two. With Mari's help, Shinji had gotten good at spotting them. He wondered how a conversation between Asuka and Mari would go when Asuka inevitably had her first day at Tokyo-3 Tech. The girl already tried prodding him about how much all the boys were going to be drooling at her, a prospect both disgusting to her and an achievement she drew pride from.

Shinji didn't understand her. She confused him, really. But maybe that was intentional on her part. After all, Asuka did make a hobby of messing with him and getting under his skin.

"So, what's going on between you and Rei?" Asuka asked. "You seem really protective of her."

"What's that mean?"

"It means you want to throw her off the car-train and into the Geo-Front. What do you think it means, idiot?" An annoyed huff escaped Asuka's lips, as if she didn't even want to entertain Shinji's question. "Are you like dating her or something?"

"No." He couldn't help shaking his head at that. "I couldn't date Rei, it would be weird."

"Well, you're weird, and she's weird. Seems like a match made in heaven."

"No, I mean…never mind." Honestly, even if Rei wasn't a clone of Mom, Shinji figured the girl had bigger issues to worry about than what boy she was going to date. "Rei's nice, but there's other reasons why I wouldn't date her, Asuka. Why are you so worried about it, anyway?"

"I'm not." For once, Asuka seemed to be on the backfoot, which brought Shinji a small amount of pleasure. "I hope you're not implying that I'm asking if you're available or not. I certainly don't want to date you."

"I thought there were 'like five steps I had to do' before I could date you, like you said on the phone."

"Wow, color me impressed. I didn't think you knew what a phone even was, judging by how little you use one."

"You said you weren't mad anymore."

"That's correct." Asuka cocked her head to the side. "I'm merely perturbed about it now."

"Whatever."

"Anyway, I need a man, not a little boy. Maybe if you were more like Kaji."

Again, confusing.

After a somewhat long trek, Shinji and Asuka came upon Mom's apartment, where yet another Section Two agent was standing guard. Rei must have been there, or maybe Mom and Father as well, as the agent would hardly be guarding an empty house. He expected to have to explain why they were visiting, but when Shinji stepped up to the door, the agent stood aside and didn't mutter a word.

The inside hadn't changed at all since the last time Shinji was here. Not unusual, as Father was probably never here and Mom had just gotten back from the Over the Rainbow, and she was also probably never here. Shinji had forgotten about the copious number of sticky notes, which Asuka was in awe of. When the girl tried to grab one, Shinji shook his head, and surprisingly Asuka retracted her hand without a word.

Rei was sitting up in one of the bedrooms, reading a book. She regarded the duo with her inscrutable red eyes as they walked into the room, still wearing her hospital shawl. Once again, Shinji wondered whether she would be upset about piloting…or, rather, helping pilot an EVA without her. He remembered how tight Rei had gripped his arm while drawing the promise out of him.

"I…" Shinji looked to the side. "I'm sorry."

"About what?" Rei said.

"I helped Asuka defeat an Angel without you, and I know you said not to. I…I know it was important to you, Rei…so, sorry."

At first, Rei said nothing, and then rolled her eyes as she returned to reading her book. It took Shinji a moment to realize he hadn't actually hallucinated the gesture. And Asuka burst out laughing behind him. "I am not a robot, Ikari. If Doctor Ikari authorized the action, then it's fine. I am not sure what else you could have done, anyway."

"Oh. Well, that's good."

"I should not have done that to you, regardless. I was…not thinking clearly."

"Do you still not remember everything?"

Rei shook her head. "Bits and pieces. After some time, I realized I didn't remember much from when we first met, Ikari. But I feel like we are friends, and I remember after we first met, like when we went to see the buildings rise on your second day in Tokyo-3."

"You still remember how to pilot, right?" Asuka asked. Shinji didn't realize it was possible for her to stay quiet for so long. "Sorry, if that's insensitive, I guess."

"You are fine. Doctor Ikari has asked me as much several times. As far as I know, I still remember how to operate Unit-00, but we will not know for sure until I am back in sync training."

"Good. I'd hate to be stuck with this moron as my only partner. Not that I need a partner, but you never know."

"Ikari is a good partner. He will serve you well while I am…out of commission."

"I'm not so certain." Asuka brushed past Shinji and sat on the edge of Rei's bed, crossing her legs and leaning back. A sudden awkward sensation washing over him, Shinji walked further into the room, towards the footboard. "What made you run headlong into the Angel's energy beam like that, anyway? The beam probably produced enough energy in one second to power all of Japan for two weeks. I'm surprised you weren't boiled to death by the LCL."

"I…" Rei averted her eyes. "I only did what was necessary. The operation would have been a failure if I did not act."

"Right." The red-head's voice carried suspicion, but she moved on. "Well, I'm glad you're not dead."

"As am I."

"But I won't tolerate any such maneuvers from now on. You better have your head on straight when you're piloting with me, got it?"

"If such maneuvers are required, I will do them. Better me than you or Ikari."

"Jeez, you're as bull-headed as this idiot over here." Asuka's eyes flitted over Rei. She crossed her arms, right underneath her chest, and the same uncomfortable sensation washed over Shinji again. "I'm probably going to be the leader of our team, so you're going to have to get used to taking orders."

Through the walls, Shinji could hear a conversation going on outside. A door slid open, followed by a clanging of keys and other valuables indicating a purse being dropped on a surface. The boy wished he could meld into the wall behind him right now.

Mom walked into the room. Her short hair was frazzled and out of sorts, her eyes wide and tired. For the first time in a while, Shinji couldn't help but feel bad for her. Shinji knew they were working on retrieving the Angel core, but to look at the woman, Mom seemed to not have slept since they returned to Tokyo-3.

Her eyes went between all three of them, lingering on Shinji the longest. Asuka was the first to speak. "You doing okay, Doctor Ikari?"

A sad smile ghosted over her lips. "I'll go put some tea on." And she left the room.

The kids were silent for a few seconds. Shinji wondered if he should talk to Father about her, or Professor Fuyutsuki; an insane thought to him before this moment, but surely Father was devoted to Mom's health and well-being, if nothing else?

A bluntness hit Shinji's shoulder, followed by a stinging pain that snapped him out of his reverie. Asuka stood beside him, hands on her hips and her brows furrowed.

"You idiot! Go and talk to her."

"You needed to hit me to say that?"

"Yes."

As Shinji walked into the kitchen, still rubbing his sure-to-be-bruised shoulder, Mom was just putting the tea on. Even her fingers trembled. She had said once before that every day was a struggle for her, Shinji guessed this was the first time seeing one of her bad days.

"I didn't know you were here," Mom said, not looking at him. "I didn't."

"Okay."

"It's not a trick or anything, Shinji. I didn't know, I needed to check up on Rei. I wouldn't want you seeing me like this."

"I didn't think that it was, Mom." He took a furtive step closer. "I'm sorry."

Mom snapped her head to the side, her eyes wide. "Why?"

"I…I don't know."

"Don't do that, Shinji. Don't you do that." She rushed forward, leaning down and gripping both his shoulders. Shinji tried not to wince. "None of this is your fault, okay? None of it. It's me, and your Father, and Fuyutsuki, and…it's not your fault. But don't do that. I manipulated you, I lied to you. Don't try to make this your fault so that I feel better."

"I just want you to be happy, Mom."

Mom stared at him, as if in complete shock. And then she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tighter than she ever had before. She rubbed her face in his hair, and Shinji felt wetness there; her breath came ragged and pleading like every intake of air was a struggle. In the background, the tea kettle began to whine.

-[[[]]]-

-[[[]]]-

Even though the Commander had invited her into his office specifically, Misato still wasn't entirely sure she was supposed to be here. On the morning of the next day, Misato had received the call and then spent half the day worrying about the meeting. To Misato, the Commander's office was sacred ground, a holiest-of-holies she was never supposed to see. The biblical patterns and the Tree of Life decorating the room reinforced this theory. All Misato wanted to do was creep outside the door and wander back to where she belonged.

She stood practically at attention while the Commander and Kaji talked. They were looking into a briefcase. Misato couldn't see what was inside, but whatever the package contained seemed to be worth the world. Perhaps Misato was here as extra security or something? A last line of defense? The woman was truly baffled.

The Commander shot Kaji a look, and he shrunk back. "Could you give the Colonel and I a few moments alone, Ryoji?"

"Of course, Commander." As Kaji left, he shook Misato's shoulder. She didn't know whether the gesture was intended to offer comfort or telling her to watch herself. If there was one lesson Misato had learned over her tenure at NERV, having a private meeting with the Commander was rarely a good occurrence, unless you came bearing gifts like Kaji.

"Ryoji thinks you can be trusted," Commander Ikari said, once Kaji was gone – meaning standing right outside the door for table scraps. "and my wife does as well. But I don't trust Ryoji and my wife's judgement has been questionable, as of late. But I am still inclined to take her word."

"I'm glad I have your confidence…sir."

"You do not have it. Not yet." The Commander sat back down, resuming his usual imposing presence. "Colonel Katsuragi, on one hand, you're my Operations Director and you're bodyguarding my son, my wife, and the Soryu girl. On the other hand, you still have rank with the JSSDF and you used to be intimate with Kaji Ryoji, a man you still have feelings for."

"I do not – " Misato bit her protest down. "Ryoji and I have not had a relationship since college, Commander. Our former relationship will not be a problem, if that's what you're asking."

"Agent Ryoji is very good at what he does, Colonel. It's why he's still alive despite serving multiple interests." The Commander flipped a paper on his desk, pulling out a pen and jotting something down. "Ryoji can serve two masters, but you cannot Katsuragi. It's not your wheelhouse."

Alright, so this was an interrogation. Misato tried to adjust accordingly. "I serve the interests of NERV, sir. I don't know what else to tell you."

The Commander laughed at that. "No one serves the 'interests of NERV', Colonel. They serve their wallet, or their own ends."

"Well, I do."

"You're being pulled in multiple different directions, Katsuragi."

"Respectfully, sir, I don't think I am."

"And why is that?"

Misato took a deep breath. "I used to work for your wife, sir. Now I work for your kids."

For a time, the Commander let the silence drag out. Around NERV, they said the Commander's interests were his wife's interests, but he was still an extremely shrewd man. And arguably more stable. Whether this made the man more or less dangerous, Misato truly did not know. For her own sake, Misato hoped for less.

An alarm went off. The alert only meant one thing, and oddly enough, Misato was starting to dread what the noise brought.

"I'll be gone for a couple days," Commander Ikari said. "I have appointments to keep, Angel or no. So go do your job, Operations Director."

Out of habit, Misato snapped to attention and turned on her heel.

"Katsuragi."

She stopped.

"From now on, I would suggest leaving no stone unturned. Understand?" His voice wavered, a little. "For the kids."

Without looking back, Misato nodded, and continued her hurried exit out of the room. As Misato predicted, Kaji was still hanging around outside, along with two Section Two agents. Just as well, Misato needed to speak to all three of them.

"After we get through this," Misato said, to the two agents. "if we get through this. The girl who flagged? Bring her in. And make sure the pilots get picked up safe."

They nodded and went off, leaving Misato free to round on Kaji.

"What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know. I'm not the man's confidant."

"I've been working for the man for years, and I get interrogated? After all I've done for them, why?"

"They're just making all their affairs are in order." Kaji said, giving her a pat on the back. "Calm down, Katsuragi. You passed with flying colors. Now go save the world."

Misato shot a leer towards Kaji which he knew well as: "we're going to talk about this shit later'. During her time in the JSSDF, Misato had no shortage of men barking orders and breathing down her neck, but the Commander always put her on edge. Not shaking-in-her-boots scared of him, not really afraid at all, but the air was tense around him.

There was pit growing in Misato's stomach, worsening with the blaring alarms. They weren't annoying her, the trademark cacophony was practically white noise to her now. Perhaps Misato was growing soft, losing her touch, or worse.

"Everything alright?" Kaji asked. "Not to best time to be spacing out."

"I just…I used to be ready for this. I was excited when the first Angel attacked, even. Now I walk around dreading when the next one will come."

"You didn't have three kids before."

For the first time in a long while, Kaji's words made Misato chuckle. She couldn't even muster the will to deny his observation. "I guess you're right."

-[[[]]]-

A/N 2:

I'm gonna be honest with y'all. I wasn't planning on coming back to this.

But if you were chomping at the bit for another installment of this fic for some reason, you probably figured this was abandoned. Even while I was writing consistently, I long had some problems with this story I didn't think I could fix. But (hopefully) I can stick to some kind of consistent schedule, or do better than nearly a year between installments, at least.

The chapters will probably be shorter from now on, as I don't really have it in me to write 10k+ word long chapters regularly anymore and I think the story is too long as is.

Anyway, if you're not invested in the fic anymore, sorry to lose you. But if you're still here, I'm glad to have you.