Author Note: Kreacher Confesses about the locket and this sets off a chain of events that ends well for the quartet but not so well for others.
The quartet was sitting around the table of Grimmould Place trying to figure out what the other Horcruxes were. Dumbledore's portrait was sitting at the head of the table.
"Okay we had Tom's diary from school, his dad's ring and me. What is the connection?" harry asked stymied.
"The connection between those three are very weak. The items he stole however. Hufflepuff's cup and Slytherin's locket. Those are connected by being items the founder's created and enchanted to be quite useful." The painting stated.
"Which connects the diary to the founders as well. It was involved in the Chamber." Hermione pointed out.
"That is a good point we had not considered." Luna thought.
Neville had the family histories book open to the Gaunt entry. "Hey guys. According to the genealogists the Gaunts were the last descendants of Salazar Slytherin himself."
"Yes. They were down to the last three members of the family. Keeping their bloodline that pure did have some serious results." Albus' portrait said. "My person remarked that it was a sad circumstance that had no other possible conclusion."
Remembering what they had seen in the penseive about who was left in the Gaunt family they all shuddered more or less in agreement.
"Okay. So Tom had a massive obsession with the Founders of Hogwarts. He must have hunted down anything connected with them to use as one. Only where do I fit in." Harry frowned.
"So did your family have any connection to the Gaunts, or the Founders?" Hermione asked looking over Neville's shoulder at the Potter entry in the book.
"Harry's family was descended from the third brother while the Gaunts were descended from the second brother. So they are very, very distant cousins." Neville calculated.
"Okay and that might have been why he was ready to make a Horcrux when he came to your home."
"So aside from the cup and the locket are there any artifacts from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw that he could get?" Harry asked looking around the table.
"The only confirmed artifacts of Godric are the sword and the sorting hat at Hogwarts. His grave was never found as he went on an adventure rather than dying at home. There are no artifacts from Rowena known She vanished into the mists after her daughter died." The portrait sadly said.
"That is not true there is her diadem." Luna corrected him.
"But that has been lost for many centuries. No one knows what happened to it." The portrait said.
"No one alive does." Luna corrected again.
"Exactly. It is a lost treasure and I doubt Tom found it." Albus agreed calmly.
"No you're not listening to me. NO one ALIVE knows where it is." She said emphatically.
Hermione and Harry both had expressions of realization on their faces, "Ghosts. One of the ghosts would know."
"Yes. Rowena's daughter Helena is the House ghost. I have spoken with her several times. She will not speak of how she died or about the last part of her life. But she is always sad and the Diadem disappeared around the same time she did. Which was just before she came to the school as a ghost." Luna explained.
"So all we have to do is convince her to tell us where the diadem is and then get it." Harry sighed, "Great that sounds easy."
"Yeah and all we have to go on for the locket is this fake." Neville held it up just as Kreacher brought them their lunch. He looked at the locket and gave a strange keening cry before slamming himself onto the table at a high enough velocity they heard his nose snap.
"Kreacher? Stop that! Kreacher no harming your self!" Harry called out firmly. "Kreacher. No harming yourself." Harry repeated again softer in tone.
Kreacher laid with his face buried in the mashed potatoes but stopped hurting himself.
"Kreacher? Is there something about this locket? Something you know?" Luna asked softly as she stroked the back of his wrinkled head.
Pulling his face out of the potatoes he blinked several times before saying, "Yes Lady Ithil. Kreacher was ordered by young Master Black to destroy the one Kreacher brought back from dark cave. Young Master had sent Kreacher away after drinking bad drink."
"Young master? Regulus? Sirius' younger brother?" Harry asked quickly.
"The good brother. Regulus kept to family honor. Regulus died well." Kreacher intoned mourning with every ounce of his voice. "Kreacher failed Regulus. Kreacher dishonored House of Black."
Luna grabbed him before he could throw himself onto anything again. "Calm down Kreacher. Why do you think you dishonored anyone?"
"Regulus last order to Kreacher for Kreacher to destroy locket. Kreacher unable to do so. Kreacher tried burning locket, boiling locket, hitting locket, cutting locket, crushing locket, freezing locket, banishing locket, using acid, using spells. Using any means Kreacher could think of to destroy locket. None of them worked. Kreacher put locket in cabinet until red haired busybodies cleaned house."
Harry smacked himself, "I remember that stupid thing. It was in the one cabinet and Ron was trying to get it open to see what was inside. Molly made us put it in the bag with the things Arthur was going to take to the Ministry."
Luna nodded, "So what happened to it Kreacher?"
"Kreacher took locket from bag. Put locket in nest. Stayed there. Locket was not lost. Dirty filthy thief came. Took locket from Kreacher. Stole it thief did." Kreacher growled and hissed.
Mundungus." Harry, Neville and Hermione agreed simultaneously.
"Yes dirty thieving Mundungus." Kreacher hissed. "Stole the locket Mundungus."
"Kreacher. Go find Mundungus and bring him here we need to have a little talk." Harry directed the elf to do. Kreacher sneered eagerly then vanished.
Hermione even shivered slightly. Neville shook his head, "I hope they've had all their shots."
"Which one?" Harry asked with a chuckle cleaning the potatoes off the table and upending the platter into the garbage.
"Both of them." Neville laughed. "So what are we going to do for lunch now?"
"How about we go get some take-out from the Chinese place down the street?" Harry suggested.
===xxx
Kreacher tossed the struggling bald man on the floor in front of Harry and Hermione who were looking through books about the artifacts of the founders. Mundungus climbed onto his knees to see Harry and Hermione pointing their wands at him.
"Hey there kids. You should be careful with those things or you might put an eye out." he
"Don't tempt me." Harry grinned.
Hermione said in a cold evil tone, "You'd be lucky if its just your eye."
"hehehe whoa there girlie. Let's drop the tensness of the room down a few notches eh?" Mundungus grinned in what he hoped was an endearing way.
Hermione's wand lowered from his face towards his groin, "I will nail your bollocks tot he floor if you so much as even think about trying anything funny. Understand me?"
Mundungus gulped as his face fell. Hermione's tone did not sound like she was giving an empty threat.
"So. I understand you stole some stuff from here?" Harry asked calmly crossing his arms in front of him.
Glancing from Hermione whose arm did not move a millimeter to Kreacher who was salivating and twitching in a rather rabid way Mundungus cleared his throat before replying, "Well stole is a rather strong word you know. I prefer the term extended borrowing without permission you see."
"A rose by any other name eh?" Hermione smiled.
Harry shrugged, "To be honest I only care about one item. Rather old. A heavy clunky locket. Looked like this." Harry said reaching over to the table and picking up the replica Regulus had made.
Mundungus looked at it then shrugged, "Dunno. Don't recall seeing it."
Kreacher leaped onto him and bit his ear. "Liar! Liar! Thieves be lying!" He screamed. Mundungus tried to swat the elf away shouting and flailing his arms, "Ger off. Ger off. Get it off me."
"Okay down Kreacher. Down. Sit! Stay!" Harry ordered pulling the violent elf off of the thief who dove away from Kreacher. He froze when Hermione hit him with a stinging hex. "Freeze or I'll let him eat your gizzards."
The sound of someone thundering down the stairs let Harry know Neville and Luna must have heard, they had gone upstairs to have some fun earlier. Neville slid into the doorway wearing his socks and a pair of boxers. His wand in hand he was followed by Luna who was wearing his button down shirt and knickers.
"Wha happened? What's all the screaming?" Neville demanded on seeing the tableau.
"Uh Kreacher found Mundungus and we were discussing the situation with him."
"Then the bloody demented little thing bit me ear off." Mundungus exclaimed holding his hand over his left ear.
"Shut it you." Hermione said pointing her wand at his tender bits again. "Look Harry. I say we just use a Gallifreyan mind-probe and rip where he put it out of his skull."
"A wah? Look I don't want no probes shoved in my skull. So ifen all you wants is that bloody locket I'll tell ye were tis." Mundungus worriedly stammered quickly.
"Well that's more like it. I prefer peaceful cooperation after all." Harry smiled.
"I got pinched by that toad Umbridge. August last I was working a dodge in the Alley when the bint herself comes along. She spots me peddlin me wares and goes barkin mad. Starts calling me a con and a scoundrel. Well I had to calm her down now didn't I?"
"Oh of course. You could have run away you know?"
"Nah me mark he was overflowing with fold you see and I was wantin ta get me hands on sum o dat. So I had to get the pink bitch outta me hair. So I pulls the locket out of me pocket as its useless to me. Too distictive to sell and it gave me a right odd feeling." He said with a shiver.
Harry and Hermione glanced at each other before Harry said, "Go on."
"Well I tells her ye see. I tells her tha it belonged to the Selwyns and someun as smart and pretty as her must have the purest of blood. I worked hard to sell that one. So she took the bleedin thing and apologized in front o me mark. Specially when she found out he was a muggle wit his kid there. She got all nice and happy when she put that thing on. I thought she might hug me even." He shuddered in terror.
Harry fought down the urge to let Kreacher bite the thief again but he wasn't sure what Kreacher might catch from him. "And you swear on all of your most valuable organs that is the entire truth?" Was what Harry asked though.
Hermione's wicked grin made Mundungus nod vigorously. "I swear mate. That's it. That's all there is. Last I saw the crummy thing it was around that excuse for a throat that fat cunt Umbridge has."
Harry sighed then turning to Kreacher said, "Kreacher go ahead and take him back to where you found him."
"Master Potter not going to find other items thief stole from the House of Black? Dirty little thief dishonored family. Dishonored even the bad son Sirius. Stole from house before the last of the Blacks was even cold in grave." The elf deeply intoned.
Harry's eyes narrowed then he smiled. "I promised him I didn't care about anything else he stole. But since it's so important to you Kreacher. You may ask him what he did with everything else and work out how to get it back with him."
Kreacher grinned wickedly while slightly growling. "Kreacher has duties at the house he must perform."
"Dobby will take care of them while you are on the quest to restore the honor of House Black." Harry took the copy of the locket and placed it around Kreacher's neck. "I'm sure you can do so without, causing anyone else to be injured, or killed. Or causing any more dishonor to befall the house?"
Kreacher stood a bit taller and with a sniffle stated proudly, "Kreacher will do his duty to the House. Master will be proud of Kreacher. One thing though Master."
Harry dreaded to know what the question was but nodded, "What is it Kreacher?"
"If thief is not cooperative may Kreacher gnaw on thief, just a little bit. Not enough to cause permanent injury. Just to motivate thief to be helpful." Kreacher batted his hooded eyes in what might have been a winsome expression.
Harry fought back some chuckles as he saw Mundungus go pale. "Just a little bit of gnawing. No biting."
"Kreacher will remember. Kreacher will gnaw not bite. Now come thievesie. Kreacher has many questions to be asking of thief!" He declared eagerly leaping across the room to grab Mundungus who screamed, "NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! PLEASE NOOOOO!" As his final protestation was drawn out into a long reverberating screech as Kreacher apparated them someplace.
Neville sighed, "I'm not entirely certain I feel sorry for him."
Hermione nodded her agreement. "Normally I would be upset for misusing a house elf like that but I think this will be good for the both of them."
Harry shrugged, "Consider it him being assigned an especially stringent probation officer. Uh nice knickers Luna." Harry said noticing the pale blue with a bright rainbow in the crotch area garment.
"Thank you. I like them. There used to be a unicorn on them until Neville deflowered me." she explained sliding her wand into the waist band of them at her hip.
"Uh. Oh. Congratulations then." Harry said awkwardly as Neville chuckled.
"Thank you. Now how are we going to get the locket from Umbridge?" Luna asked casually walking into the library to look at the notes they had made.
"Well we need to figure out where she is, where it is and when the best time to steal it back would be." Harry replied.
"We should get Dobby to be careful when he's scouting her out." Hermione reminded Harry.
"I know. Uh Luna were you going to get dressed?" Harry asked awkwardly.
"I was not planning on it. Why?" she replied looking at Harry placidly.
"Oh no reason. I just saw your breasts when you leaned forward is all." Harry said with a strained tone.
"And the problem with that is?" Luna asked puzzled.
Harry looked at Hermione who had begun to study the book again, he turned to look at Neville who was standing behind Luna. Neville just grinned at him as Luna stood with her hands on her hips. Harry took a deep breath and shrugged. "Uh. I guess no problem if you're not concerned."
Luna smiled at him, "Good."
===xxx
They were hidden outside of a cottage in the edge of Cambridge. It was neat, tidy, and painted in a pale pink with robin's egg blue trim. The roof was a mint green and ivory colored lacy curtains wafted gently in the windows. There was a neatly trimmed hedge around the property with perfectly organized flowerbeds around the garden.
The house was protected by anti-muggle wards, as well as several other security charms. Fortunately though her house-elf was able to be convinced by Dobby to help them. A house-elf that had been mistreated was able to interpret their orders a great deal as Dobby knew quite well.
Tinky was the name of her house-elf and was open to more polite and friendly employment Dobby had stressed. Hinting that he would not mind if the great Harry Potter found a way to free her as well. Harry had been forced by Dobby and subtle pressure from Hermione to promise to consider finding a way to do so.
Tinky opened the door and signaled for them to come inside. She had turned the security charms off and would look the other way while they searched the house for the locket. Dobby had said she was never seen in public without it but they could not get to her at the Ministry. The Ministry was in a very major upheaval as Scrimgoeur had apparently caught the flu according to official reports and his assistant, someone named Thicknesse was running things in the interim.
Entering the house the four froze upon seeing the décor. The carpet had runners down it to all major travel areas. Each piece of furniture had doilies and covers over them. The pale violet and lavender colored walls had the kitten plates hanging everywhere. There were cabinets with them on stands, wall hangers, stands on tables.
Luna blinked rapidly, "I think I may be violently ill."
"Please it might help the color scheme." Hermione said.
Harry closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to calm himself. "Okay. Lets try and ignore all of this and find the damnable thing."
"Right. We can handle this." Hermione said as they moved through the house looking through things. The library held books talking about how blood purity was important, how to protect your blood, how muggles were sub-humans, among other fun filled titles. They found Grindelwald's manifesto on magical supremacy in a place of honor on the shelves.
"She is one sick twisted bitch." Neville declared.
Looking up the stairs harry sighed, "Well if its not upstairs then it must be on her."
"Yeah. Dobby did say she had been claiming it was an ancient family heirloom of hers." Neville reminded them.
Sighing Harry started up the stairs. Trying not to touch anything he an d the others started looking around. Finding her bedroom they played a quick hand of rock paper wands to who would search it. Hermione lost.
Not finding anything she came out of the room freezing as she made eye contact with Dolores Umbridge who was standing at the top of her stairs. Tinky was shivering behind her legs, "Tinky is sorry. Mistress came home early."
"What are you doing in my house you filthy mudblood cur? You are going to regret this." The toad like woman dressed in a tight pink cardigan and dark gray robes eagerly declared.
"Gee you must have enjoyed from the centaurs attentions. Bet that was the most action you've ever had." Harry cheekily said coming out of a room behind her.
"YOU!" She hissed angrily. Spinning to bring her wand up she started to cast a spell, the four teens were not certain which spell it was as Hermione cast a quick stunner, Harry cast a shoving hex, Neville had come out of the room next to her with a stunner as well and Luna went with a jelly legs curse. The end result was that Umbridge's feet went out from under her resulting in her falling backwards over Tinky and tumbling down the stairs. She gave an ugly screaming growl as she went.
Her body made a thumping banging noise as it fell end over end to land with a sicking crack against the bottom railing. The four gathered quickly at the top of the stairs to look at what happened.
Umbridge laid in a heap against the bottom railing where the stairs turned to enter the front hall. Her lace bloomers were visible as the robes had ridden up her head was twisted around so her chin was touching her right shoulder blade while her feet and legs were splayed one on the lower risers and one pointing upwards towards them.
"Correct me if I'm wrong but is the human neck supposed to rotate that far." Luna asked.
"Uh no Luna. I think she's dead." Hermione said in a hushed tone.
"Unless she is a Bodak."
"I don't think she's a Bodak." Hermione stated.
"Someone should go check to see if she's dead." Neville said uncertainly.
"Right. You do it." Harry suggested.
"Me? Why me?" Neville contested.
"Because you suggested it."
"Yeah but you killed her." Neville countered.
"I killed her?" Harry argued.
"You cast the shoving charm on her. At the top of a stairs."
"You hit her with a stunner."
"Look boys. We don't need to argue over who killed her. We all hit her with something. Let's just get the locket and get out of here." Hermione declared.
"She's a Ministry official, they will miss her. I think they will notice this is abnormal." Luna stated pointing down the stairs.
Harry started down the stairs, "Look I'll get the locket. You guys figure out how to cover this up. Nev can you help me with this?"
Neville took a deep breath then followed Harry down the stairs. They moved Umbridge using levicorpus and a few other spells so she was laying flat on the floor.
"Gah she stinks." Harry gagged.
"Well when the human body expires the bowels and other.." Luna started to say when harry gave her a frustrated glare, "I know not helping Luna." She finished.
"Sorry but, yeah this is nasty." Harry said reaching under her head to pull the chain of the locket as he took possession of it.
"Well at least we have it." Neville said.
"And I have how we will cover this up." Hermione declared.
"Oh and how will we do that?" Harry asked.
"We cast fiend fyre and then the dark mark over the house when we leave." Hermione proudly stated.
Harry looked at her then asked, "Can you cast those spells?"
"Well I can do the fiend fyre. I was researching it in case we needed something like that."
"Plus she has a very strange obsession with fire." Luna interjected.
"Anyhow. I was researching that. I was kinda hoping you might use you link with him to learn how to cast the other." Hermione uncomfortably said.
Harry looked at her, "You want me to use the link. The link I have been working on keeping closed for the past year, the link that would let him know what we are doing. You want me to use that link to learn to cast a dark spell that only their special club casts."
"Well when you put it that way it doesn't sound like such a good idea." She ruefully agreed.
"Right. Let's think of something else."
"Maybe she could just go missing. Lots of people do so."
"Okay. Good idea. I like that idea. It will make them wonder and it may keep the heat off of us for a little bit longer. We'll need to use Dobby." Harry said.
"Yeah I know. But when this is all done he gets a vacation." Hermione declared.
"I'll see what I can do." harry promised.
Calling for the elf Harry said, "Dobby can you take this body and put it someplace where they will not find her?"
"Dobby can do so Harry Potter. Dobby knows of good place to hide bodies from Kreacher. Kreacher has done so for the Black family for many years." The excitable elf declared.
Harry clenched his fist around the locket but said, "Good. Make it so."
Dobby saluted then snapped his fingers as he and the body of Umbridge vanished.
"Clean the place up. Remove all trace we were here then let's get out of here. We've got a locket we need to destroy." Harry darkly declared.
Review Responses
kimjo2: Sometimes people do have a short memory like that. Especially in the face of overwhelming threat. He might have some depths that have not been revealed, but we'll see.
Dennisud: That is true. The dentures are warming up and being sharpened as we speak.
Timekeeper: Indeed! She is of age and she is not going to sully herself with a mere muggle. Dudley is going to be having the virtual time of his life.
OfficerDonNZ: It does seem like it. And yeah Vernon had no hope of getting out of this story alive.