Writer's Block Is Evil
An Insane Fan Fiction by Yui Kinomoto
Disclaimer: No…. Just, no. You know I don't own Pokemon, or any authors I may put in here… Heh… Just me. If I didn't own myself, I'd be worried. =P
A/N: Well, here's Chapter 3… Do not ask about this one, it's a joke my friend and I came up with. It's really stupid and silly and… yay! Perfect for an insane series such as this one.
Chapter 3
Me, the narrator: Well, today we will take a break from our normal storyline to bring you the beginning (and possibly the end) of a new miniseries!! Yeeeah! Party! … *stares out at the disinterested crowd* Uh-huh… Yeah. Let's just get to the show, now shall we?
(cue cheesy Indiana Jones action music)
Commercial Guy: He's fast…
(we see a man in a long trenchcoat and weird hat running from a huge boulder; he trips over his feet and gets run over)
C.G.: Strong…
(shows the same man trying to lift a heavy weight. He pulls, a snap is heard, and he suddenly doubles over in pain, clutching at his back)
C.G.: And he's a real ladies' man…
Man: The name's Hanger…. Cliff Hanger.
Group of fangirls: AAAAH!! *they all faint… Morty walks away, and Cliff realizes that nobody's listening to him…*
C.G.: The Adventures of Cliff Hanger, coming this week to The Cheesy Action Channel! Remember to tune into Channel 1,872,396 every Saturday at 7:44!
Bruno: *sitting in front of the T.V.* YAY!! Cliff Hanger's on!! ^_^
Other elite: o_o;;;
(On the TV, it shows an annoyingly bright screen with bright words that are virtually impossible to read, that say: "Episode One: Cliff Hanger and the Holy Water Bottle." The scene begins with Cliff walking down the street under the scorching sun, wearing his huge, thick, heat-absorbing trenchcoat. o_O)
Cliff: My, what a beautiful day. It's a perfect day for a… *cheesy music* Random Adventure!!!
Little boy: *out of nowhere* But what kind of adventure will you go on today?
(Suddenly, the scene shifts off to… about a meter away, where standing against a building is none other than the pretty redheaded secretary, Miss Anne Chovy!)
Anne: Wow… It's really hot out here. I sure wish I had a water bottle that I could fill with water.
Cliff: Hmm… If I can find a water bottle for the lovely Anne Chovy, maybe I can win her heart!
Little boy: I heard of a really great water bottle, called the Holy Water Bottle… it's really far away inside an ancient temple, and it's really hard to get to, but I bet Anne would love a water bottle like that…
Cliff: My goodness, you're right! If I get that special water bottle, Anne will fall for me for sure! I'm gonna go get it!!!
(So, Cliff takes off to a random plane to take him to a random continent where this ancient temple supposedly is. How he knew exactly where it was, I guess we'll never know.)
Cliff: So this is the ancient city of Ching Chang Wong Sing Lu. Now, if I were an ancient temple holding a very important sacred water bottle, where would I hide?
(Obviously, Cliff would not make a very smart temple, because it took him 4 hours or so to figure out that he was standing right in front of the temple. As soon as he finally realized this, he immediately went inside, not even considering what kinds of dangers might be hiding within…)
Cliff: *walking down a hallway* This is easy. At this rate I'll have the water bottle in no time!!
(Suddenly, the floor opens up and he falls through.)
Cliff: o_o Oh, man! Now I'll probably have to start over!
Mysterious Voice from Nowhere: Hiss…
Cliff: O_O
(Cliff sees something long and green coiled up in the corner…)
Cliff: OH NO!!! My worst fear!!!
(Suddenly, something hits Cliff's foot, and he jumps up to see… a ball of yarn at his feet.)
Cliff: NOOOO! Anything but yarn!!! *looks around* I'm surrounded by yarn!!!
(And, since Cliff is deathly afraid of yarn of any kind, he quickly makes a run for the exit. He comes out in a semi-dark room, lit by oversized fireflies trapped in jars that are nailed to the walls.)
Cliff: *looks across the room* I can see something shining… I wonder if that could be the water bottle I came for! *runs across the room, only to be confronted by a huge black hole in the middle of the floor* o_o;;;
(Just as all hope was running short, Cliff noticed a vine hanging from the ceiling.)
Cliff: *light bulb pops up from his head* I've got it!! I'll grab this vine, jump down the big hole, and then after I hit the bottom and probably break my legs, I'll use the vine to climb out!
…………..Or maybe I should just try to swing across.
(Oh! Stroke of genius!! Hehe… Cliff jumps, and heroically swings across the gap, toward his final goal…)
*vine snaps*
Cliff: O-o;;; *looks down* … AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa….. *thud* ….
(And… a short time later…)
Cliff: *blink* Ow… What happened? *looks around* Oh man! I fell AGAIN! -_-;;; Oh well… At least I still have this vine.
(Cliff climbs out of the pit using the vine, and runs forward to the platform where the glowing golden water bottle is sitting. He picks it up, and brings it out of the light…)
Cliff: At last!!! The Holy Water Bottle is mine! (looks at it) Hey… This thing is full of holes!!!
Voice: Well, what did you expect? It is the Holey Water Bottle after all…
Cliff: *facefault*
(Meanwhile, back in… whatever city Cliff came from…)
Little boy: Miss Chovy? I bought you some Gatorade…
Anne: Oh, how sweet! Thank you! *kisses his cheek*
Little boy: =^-^=
(The annoyingly bright letters "The End" flash across the screen)
Bruno: Yay! ^-^
Other elite: -_- zzzzz….
Yay! Here ends another chapter of "Writer's Block is Evil!" Short, and weird, but great anyway, right? And did you know that people get very happy when they get reviews? Did you also know that most people who review insane stories like this get cameos? Heh… What's the next episode about? Well, I'm not telling! ^-^ Come back next time… *Sailor Moon pose* and I'll show you!