9. CHRISTIAN'S STORY
"And the doctor came and told me you are dead." Satine kept on talking with shaking of emotion voice. "I fell into hysterics and didn't want to believe that it happened. I couldn't stand there any longer and ran away. I was really out of my mind and thought I have lost you." She stopped and caught her throat.
"Yes." Christian said with constrained voice. "But I didn't die. As you can see."
"What happened with you?" John just now dared open his mouth. He was absolutely rocked by the confessions, not able even to think.
"The doctor made a mistake. I was still alive but very badly wounded. I woke up in a room, full of other corpses. It must have been the same night, because I would have been buried. I had fever, my body was covered with sweat and I couldn't see the things clear. The pain was all over me. Everything was a blur in front of my eyes. But something told me I have to stand up and leave this place. May be it was the thought of you, Satine. Every movement was hurting me terribly, but I didn't give up. In the end I fell on the ground and all my forces left me. I couldn't change the position at all. Thank God, soon someone entered the room and saw me. Then this person went for help. This was the last clear memory in my mind. I regained consciousness after some days in a hospital. I was still weak and I have to stay there for quite long time until my completely recovering. During that time I asked them if they knew something about the woman who had been with me. In vain. When I was discharged, I went to look for the doctor who had examined me. But he couldn't give me more information and said that she had run away after my "death" and that she had been very upset. Then I decided to go and talk with you, John, to help me. I had lost James's new address and I had no one to turn to. Who can expect I'll have such a great luck." Christian finished bitterly looking at his friend with hatred.
"It doesn't matter now." Satine whispered. "The most important is that you are alive."
"Oh, really?" Christian said through clenched teeth. "I thought you were happy in his arms."
"How could you say that?" She got freeze.
"Obviously the wolf may lose his teeth but never his nature. You can't be truthful for long time, my love."
"What?" The young woman was getting angry. "You are blaming me? Do you know what I have past through when I thought you were dead? That I completely lost my mind and I have been within an inch of death. If John hadn't found me.
"Oh, yes, and you were so grateful that decided to pay in kind?"
"That's enough, Christian! If you have to blame someone, that's me."
"I haven't finished. You've got even bigger fault. You have used her."
"Yes, you have already told me. I didn't plan that. I didn't know I would fall in love with her. It just happened. Tell me, how could I know.
"No matter who was she, you haven't got right to make one woman with amnesia your lover! I had never expected that from you. You are worst even than the Duke."
"Stop with this! He isn't lying you nor do I! Why do you complicate the things so much? If I had remembered.
"And if you hadn't, you would have lived happy and content with him? And if I came after 20 years, you would have said: Sorry, darling, but I didn't remember for you?"
"Stop! I'm not allowing you insult her anymore. Calm down, Christian. You behave like a child."
"Yes, my dear friend." The writer's green eyes flashed in dangerous fire. "I was child, when I thought you are truthful and wouldn't give me up never. So pity, don't you think? But now I'm grown up and I can't stand on this ridiculous theatre."
With these words the young man jumped and straightened to the door. Satine went after him on the verge of crying.
"Please, don't go away! We must think."
"There's nothing we must think of. Everything is clear. I wish both of you long and happy life. Don't think of the poor fool." And he left the room, slamming the door.
"Christian, no!" She tried to follow him, but John stopped her.
"Leave him." He said.
"What?!" Satine turned round and looked at him with puzzled, wide opened eyes. "We can't just forget about this."
"Listen, I didn't mean that. Just it's pointless to talk with Christian right now. When he is angry and hurt he stops thinking right. He didn't want to tell us these things. He'll walk a little and will find out it's meaningless to be cross. Believe me, he'll be back very soon.
Satine was staying at the doorway with the same despaired expression. She went slowly to the table and collapsed on the chair. The young woman buried face in her hands. He could hear her suppressed sobbing, but didn't dare go and help her manage with this. John wasn't sure he had got the right for this.
"It's all my fault. If I wasn't so hysterical, it all wouldn't happen."
"Satine, don't blame yourself. No one is guilty. We all became victims of the circumstances. It's not suitable time for blaming. Don't worry now."
He couldn't say anything else but in his heart knew the answer. The artist felt the lump in his throat, which started strangling him. "Why?"
"And the doctor came and told me you are dead." Satine kept on talking with shaking of emotion voice. "I fell into hysterics and didn't want to believe that it happened. I couldn't stand there any longer and ran away. I was really out of my mind and thought I have lost you." She stopped and caught her throat.
"Yes." Christian said with constrained voice. "But I didn't die. As you can see."
"What happened with you?" John just now dared open his mouth. He was absolutely rocked by the confessions, not able even to think.
"The doctor made a mistake. I was still alive but very badly wounded. I woke up in a room, full of other corpses. It must have been the same night, because I would have been buried. I had fever, my body was covered with sweat and I couldn't see the things clear. The pain was all over me. Everything was a blur in front of my eyes. But something told me I have to stand up and leave this place. May be it was the thought of you, Satine. Every movement was hurting me terribly, but I didn't give up. In the end I fell on the ground and all my forces left me. I couldn't change the position at all. Thank God, soon someone entered the room and saw me. Then this person went for help. This was the last clear memory in my mind. I regained consciousness after some days in a hospital. I was still weak and I have to stay there for quite long time until my completely recovering. During that time I asked them if they knew something about the woman who had been with me. In vain. When I was discharged, I went to look for the doctor who had examined me. But he couldn't give me more information and said that she had run away after my "death" and that she had been very upset. Then I decided to go and talk with you, John, to help me. I had lost James's new address and I had no one to turn to. Who can expect I'll have such a great luck." Christian finished bitterly looking at his friend with hatred.
"It doesn't matter now." Satine whispered. "The most important is that you are alive."
"Oh, really?" Christian said through clenched teeth. "I thought you were happy in his arms."
"How could you say that?" She got freeze.
"Obviously the wolf may lose his teeth but never his nature. You can't be truthful for long time, my love."
"What?" The young woman was getting angry. "You are blaming me? Do you know what I have past through when I thought you were dead? That I completely lost my mind and I have been within an inch of death. If John hadn't found me.
"Oh, yes, and you were so grateful that decided to pay in kind?"
"That's enough, Christian! If you have to blame someone, that's me."
"I haven't finished. You've got even bigger fault. You have used her."
"Yes, you have already told me. I didn't plan that. I didn't know I would fall in love with her. It just happened. Tell me, how could I know.
"No matter who was she, you haven't got right to make one woman with amnesia your lover! I had never expected that from you. You are worst even than the Duke."
"Stop with this! He isn't lying you nor do I! Why do you complicate the things so much? If I had remembered.
"And if you hadn't, you would have lived happy and content with him? And if I came after 20 years, you would have said: Sorry, darling, but I didn't remember for you?"
"Stop! I'm not allowing you insult her anymore. Calm down, Christian. You behave like a child."
"Yes, my dear friend." The writer's green eyes flashed in dangerous fire. "I was child, when I thought you are truthful and wouldn't give me up never. So pity, don't you think? But now I'm grown up and I can't stand on this ridiculous theatre."
With these words the young man jumped and straightened to the door. Satine went after him on the verge of crying.
"Please, don't go away! We must think."
"There's nothing we must think of. Everything is clear. I wish both of you long and happy life. Don't think of the poor fool." And he left the room, slamming the door.
"Christian, no!" She tried to follow him, but John stopped her.
"Leave him." He said.
"What?!" Satine turned round and looked at him with puzzled, wide opened eyes. "We can't just forget about this."
"Listen, I didn't mean that. Just it's pointless to talk with Christian right now. When he is angry and hurt he stops thinking right. He didn't want to tell us these things. He'll walk a little and will find out it's meaningless to be cross. Believe me, he'll be back very soon.
Satine was staying at the doorway with the same despaired expression. She went slowly to the table and collapsed on the chair. The young woman buried face in her hands. He could hear her suppressed sobbing, but didn't dare go and help her manage with this. John wasn't sure he had got the right for this.
"It's all my fault. If I wasn't so hysterical, it all wouldn't happen."
"Satine, don't blame yourself. No one is guilty. We all became victims of the circumstances. It's not suitable time for blaming. Don't worry now."
He couldn't say anything else but in his heart knew the answer. The artist felt the lump in his throat, which started strangling him. "Why?"