Author's Notes: Hope you liked the first chapter, and here's the second! I
don't have much to say, other than I'm glad you liked the first chapter!
So, read on, and enjoy…
(The Hogwartsien Revolutionaries sneak into the Griffandor Rouge with Ron just as Harry walks onstage followed by his dancing girls: The Diamond Cats)
Draco: (sits at a small table in a cramped alcove) Mission accomplished! We've managed to evade Harry!
(All manage to scrabble into their seats just as the lights dim. A spotlight soars to illuminate a lone 7th-year suspended on a trapeze high above the crowds, and flitter sprinkles slowly down over the gathered wizards)
Draco: (gesturing excitedly towards her) That's her! The Sparkling Diamond!
Hermione: (sings as the trapeze descends) Some wizards are glad to die for love
They delight in wizard's duels
But I prefer a Diamond's love
And a man to bring me jewels…
Ron voice-over: but someone else was to meet Hermione that night.
(scene shows a dark-haired, greasy older man with a hooked nose and a lustful look)
Snape, the Slytherin house head.
(The trapeze descends closer to the masses as the lights flick on and Hermione sings with more energy)
A pass in the class may be quite continental
But Aces are a girl's best friend
A pass may be grand but it won't earn you house points for that hourglass
Or erase bad marks from the past!
Friends grow cold as grades grow old
But it's all worth the time in the end
So 100's or Aces this time isn't wasted
Great grades are a girl's best friend!
Harry: (to Snape) After this little number I've arranged a private meeting between you and Hermione.
Draco: (to Ron) After this number I've arranged a private meeting between you and Hermione, totally alone!
Ron: A-alone?
Draco & Harry: Yes, totally alone!
(Hermione continues dancing around, flirting with the men and agilely dodging their advances. She then dances up to a platform, and Harry climbs up beside her)
Hermione: Talk to me Harry Potter, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a girl takes a sick day
Harry: But aces are a girl's best friend!
Hermione: There may come a time when a hard-worked professor thinks you're-
Harry: Awful nice! (mimes grabbing Hermione's rear)
Hermione: Ooh, but get that ace or else no grades!
Dancers: (sing back-up)
Hermione: (whispers) Is the professor here tonight, Harry?
Harry: Yes, my canary crème!
Hermione: Ooh, where is he?
Harry: (eyes widen as he notices that Draco has managed to evade security and procure a table. The Slytherin has accidentally spilt some butterbeer down Snape's front and is trying, clumsily, to wipe it off) He's the one Malfoy is waving the hanky at.
Draco: (realizes that his napkin is soaked and reaches back to his own table) Excuse me, may I borrow that? (steals Ron's napkin and shakes it out in his face)
Hermione: (squints) Are you sure?
Harry: Let me check. (Looks over her shoulder, and by now Draco is back to waving the napkin in Snape's face) Yes, quite sure.
Draco: (snaps the napkin in Snape's face) Terribly sorry!
Snape: Get off! (whacks the napkin away)
Draco: You borzoi pig! (snorts)
Crabbe: (looms out of the shadows) Grrr… (balls up fists)
Draco: Ipe! Eheh, so sorry… (scampers back to his own table)
(Hermione and Harry duck into a cloaking circle of long-skirted dancers)
Hermione: Will he invest?
Harry: After spending the night with you, how could he refuse?
Hermione: (taking her hair down and brushing it out) What's his type? Bold transfigurer, wilting Herbology master, or smoldering potionist? (growling noise) (starts pulling on another revealing robe, this time a silvery feather-trimmed one)
Harry: Hmm, I'd say… smoldering potionist. We're all counting on you, griffling. With Snape's support, we'll get a real graduation party with straight-A grades and you'll be-
Hermione: A real witch… (looks up forlornly, perhaps contemplating her struggles with her heritage. After a moment she looks at Harry, beaming, then springs upright)
'Cos that's when those teachers
Get rid of the lechers,
Great grades are a girl's best friend!
(Struts over to Ron's table, smiling seductively) I believe you were expecting me?
Ron: (A bit breathlessly) Yes…. Yes.
Hermione: (turns to the crowd, which is chanting 'Hermione! Hermione!') I'm afraid it's lady's choice! (turns back to Ron) dance with me?
(Ron just sits there, dazed, mouth half open in a rather stupefied expression while his fellow revolutionaries encourage him with nudges. Hermione pouts to the audience who goes 'awwww', then dances backwards making little trilling noises until Ron is engulfed in the feathers of her robe. The musicians strike up a lively tune, and Hermione pulls Ron up and out to the middle of the dance floor.)
Neville: He certainly has a way with women!
Draco: I told you, he's a genius!
Hermione: (To Ron) It's so wonderful you've taken an interest in our little show.
Ron: I'd love to help in any way I can, assuming you like what I do, of course.
Hermione: (looking momentarily shocked) I'm sure I will!
Ron: (dips Hermione and stutters, Quirrel-style) Draco told me that we could, uh, do it in private.
Hermione: Did he?
Ron: Yes, you know, a p-private… p-poetry reading!
Hermione: Oh, of course! I love a little… (makes grabbing motions in Ron's face) poetry after supper!
Harry: (looking on) That Professor certainly can dance!
(The music starts winding down and Hermione prances back to her trapeze. She seats herself lightly on it, and as she is lifted up again, the band starts playing the closing notes of 'Aces are a Girl's Best Friend'. Everyone is oblivious to the drama about to happen.)
Hermione: (sings) Aces are a girl's… best… (opens her mouth to finish, but rather than the closing word, a harsh, tearing gasp rips free of her throat. The audience cheers and waves their arms for the finish, but Hermione's eyes roll back in her head and she topples from the trapeze-)
Harry: (horrified) NOOOO!
(-straight into Hagrid's outstretched arms. Hagrid looks bewildered and glances up at Harry, who motions for him to bring the fallen diamond backstage. Hagrid obeys and stumps behind the glittering curtain, followed by the rest of the diamond cats. The dancing girls sit in the shadows like ravens as Hagrid gently places Hermione's limp body on a dressing table. Minerva McGonagal hurries into the room, a vial already uncorked in her veined hands. She tips a few drops down Hermione's throat, and the Sparkling Diamond comes awake to a fit of rasping, hacking coughs. She holds a white cloth to her mouth, and a speck of red dots one of the corners. McGonagal looks on, worried, and her worst suspicions are confirmed when Hermione takes the cloth from her mouth; a large clot of blood sits in the center of it.)
Millicent: (snidely, from the shadows) Don't look like that professor'll be getting' his money's worth tonight.
Cho: Shh, don't be mean!
McGonagal: (tips more of the fluid down Hermione's throat) Get it all up, love.
Hermione: (coughs some more, then lies back weakly. When she next speaks she sounds tired and breathless, but attempts to seem unconcerned.) Oh these… these silly robes…
Moody: (bustles in) Is everything all-right?
McGonagal: (sharply) Nothing for you to be worried about.
Moody: (glances around nervously) Then what are you all waiting for? Get out there and make those warlocks hungry! (shoes the reluctant courtesans out the door)
(Outside, the wizards are chanting Hermione's name. Moody is in the crowd, making cutting signs to Harry. Harry gets the message and looks at the crowds, trying to hide his distress.)
Harry: You've frightened her away!
Crowd: Awww!
Harry: But I see some other lonely Moulin Rouge dancers looking for a partner or two! So if you can hunk, hunk, then you can hunkadora with them! (spins the block on his raised platform and raises his arms, feigning exuberance, but there is a pained and worried look on his face.)
In Hermione's dressing room…
(Hermione is standing before a mirror while McGonagal zips up the diamond's tight-fitting, flattering red robes)
McGonagal: We'll get you all trussed up and ready to meet that professor. He'll make you a straight-A student!
Hermione: I'm going to fly away from here, McGonagal. (Looks to a bird singing in an iron cage and baby-talks to it) Ooo, yes, I'm going to fly away!
McGonagal: With Snape grading you, you'll be a real grade-A witch, just like Morgana!
Hermione: Oh, do you really think I could live up to the great sorceress Morgana?
McGonagal: I don't see why not!
(Harry enters the room in a rush, looking distressed)
Harry: Is everything all right?
Hermione: (breathlessly, looking at Harry from the mirror) Everything's fine, Harry. How do I look? (whirls around to face him) Smouldering potionist?
Harry: (rushes forward, delighted) Everything's going so well!
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that one! Next up is the scene ikkle Ronnikins didn't want to do… Keep checking back! The chapters might come more slowly now, since I have to type them up and my time is limited, but I've already hand-written the whole story so… never fear, it will be finished!
(The Hogwartsien Revolutionaries sneak into the Griffandor Rouge with Ron just as Harry walks onstage followed by his dancing girls: The Diamond Cats)
Draco: (sits at a small table in a cramped alcove) Mission accomplished! We've managed to evade Harry!
(All manage to scrabble into their seats just as the lights dim. A spotlight soars to illuminate a lone 7th-year suspended on a trapeze high above the crowds, and flitter sprinkles slowly down over the gathered wizards)
Draco: (gesturing excitedly towards her) That's her! The Sparkling Diamond!
Hermione: (sings as the trapeze descends) Some wizards are glad to die for love
They delight in wizard's duels
But I prefer a Diamond's love
And a man to bring me jewels…
Ron voice-over: but someone else was to meet Hermione that night.
(scene shows a dark-haired, greasy older man with a hooked nose and a lustful look)
Snape, the Slytherin house head.
(The trapeze descends closer to the masses as the lights flick on and Hermione sings with more energy)
A pass in the class may be quite continental
But Aces are a girl's best friend
A pass may be grand but it won't earn you house points for that hourglass
Or erase bad marks from the past!
Friends grow cold as grades grow old
But it's all worth the time in the end
So 100's or Aces this time isn't wasted
Great grades are a girl's best friend!
Harry: (to Snape) After this little number I've arranged a private meeting between you and Hermione.
Draco: (to Ron) After this number I've arranged a private meeting between you and Hermione, totally alone!
Ron: A-alone?
Draco & Harry: Yes, totally alone!
(Hermione continues dancing around, flirting with the men and agilely dodging their advances. She then dances up to a platform, and Harry climbs up beside her)
Hermione: Talk to me Harry Potter, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a girl takes a sick day
Harry: But aces are a girl's best friend!
Hermione: There may come a time when a hard-worked professor thinks you're-
Harry: Awful nice! (mimes grabbing Hermione's rear)
Hermione: Ooh, but get that ace or else no grades!
Dancers: (sing back-up)
Hermione: (whispers) Is the professor here tonight, Harry?
Harry: Yes, my canary crème!
Hermione: Ooh, where is he?
Harry: (eyes widen as he notices that Draco has managed to evade security and procure a table. The Slytherin has accidentally spilt some butterbeer down Snape's front and is trying, clumsily, to wipe it off) He's the one Malfoy is waving the hanky at.
Draco: (realizes that his napkin is soaked and reaches back to his own table) Excuse me, may I borrow that? (steals Ron's napkin and shakes it out in his face)
Hermione: (squints) Are you sure?
Harry: Let me check. (Looks over her shoulder, and by now Draco is back to waving the napkin in Snape's face) Yes, quite sure.
Draco: (snaps the napkin in Snape's face) Terribly sorry!
Snape: Get off! (whacks the napkin away)
Draco: You borzoi pig! (snorts)
Crabbe: (looms out of the shadows) Grrr… (balls up fists)
Draco: Ipe! Eheh, so sorry… (scampers back to his own table)
(Hermione and Harry duck into a cloaking circle of long-skirted dancers)
Hermione: Will he invest?
Harry: After spending the night with you, how could he refuse?
Hermione: (taking her hair down and brushing it out) What's his type? Bold transfigurer, wilting Herbology master, or smoldering potionist? (growling noise) (starts pulling on another revealing robe, this time a silvery feather-trimmed one)
Harry: Hmm, I'd say… smoldering potionist. We're all counting on you, griffling. With Snape's support, we'll get a real graduation party with straight-A grades and you'll be-
Hermione: A real witch… (looks up forlornly, perhaps contemplating her struggles with her heritage. After a moment she looks at Harry, beaming, then springs upright)
'Cos that's when those teachers
Get rid of the lechers,
Great grades are a girl's best friend!
(Struts over to Ron's table, smiling seductively) I believe you were expecting me?
Ron: (A bit breathlessly) Yes…. Yes.
Hermione: (turns to the crowd, which is chanting 'Hermione! Hermione!') I'm afraid it's lady's choice! (turns back to Ron) dance with me?
(Ron just sits there, dazed, mouth half open in a rather stupefied expression while his fellow revolutionaries encourage him with nudges. Hermione pouts to the audience who goes 'awwww', then dances backwards making little trilling noises until Ron is engulfed in the feathers of her robe. The musicians strike up a lively tune, and Hermione pulls Ron up and out to the middle of the dance floor.)
Neville: He certainly has a way with women!
Draco: I told you, he's a genius!
Hermione: (To Ron) It's so wonderful you've taken an interest in our little show.
Ron: I'd love to help in any way I can, assuming you like what I do, of course.
Hermione: (looking momentarily shocked) I'm sure I will!
Ron: (dips Hermione and stutters, Quirrel-style) Draco told me that we could, uh, do it in private.
Hermione: Did he?
Ron: Yes, you know, a p-private… p-poetry reading!
Hermione: Oh, of course! I love a little… (makes grabbing motions in Ron's face) poetry after supper!
Harry: (looking on) That Professor certainly can dance!
(The music starts winding down and Hermione prances back to her trapeze. She seats herself lightly on it, and as she is lifted up again, the band starts playing the closing notes of 'Aces are a Girl's Best Friend'. Everyone is oblivious to the drama about to happen.)
Hermione: (sings) Aces are a girl's… best… (opens her mouth to finish, but rather than the closing word, a harsh, tearing gasp rips free of her throat. The audience cheers and waves their arms for the finish, but Hermione's eyes roll back in her head and she topples from the trapeze-)
Harry: (horrified) NOOOO!
(-straight into Hagrid's outstretched arms. Hagrid looks bewildered and glances up at Harry, who motions for him to bring the fallen diamond backstage. Hagrid obeys and stumps behind the glittering curtain, followed by the rest of the diamond cats. The dancing girls sit in the shadows like ravens as Hagrid gently places Hermione's limp body on a dressing table. Minerva McGonagal hurries into the room, a vial already uncorked in her veined hands. She tips a few drops down Hermione's throat, and the Sparkling Diamond comes awake to a fit of rasping, hacking coughs. She holds a white cloth to her mouth, and a speck of red dots one of the corners. McGonagal looks on, worried, and her worst suspicions are confirmed when Hermione takes the cloth from her mouth; a large clot of blood sits in the center of it.)
Millicent: (snidely, from the shadows) Don't look like that professor'll be getting' his money's worth tonight.
Cho: Shh, don't be mean!
McGonagal: (tips more of the fluid down Hermione's throat) Get it all up, love.
Hermione: (coughs some more, then lies back weakly. When she next speaks she sounds tired and breathless, but attempts to seem unconcerned.) Oh these… these silly robes…
Moody: (bustles in) Is everything all-right?
McGonagal: (sharply) Nothing for you to be worried about.
Moody: (glances around nervously) Then what are you all waiting for? Get out there and make those warlocks hungry! (shoes the reluctant courtesans out the door)
(Outside, the wizards are chanting Hermione's name. Moody is in the crowd, making cutting signs to Harry. Harry gets the message and looks at the crowds, trying to hide his distress.)
Harry: You've frightened her away!
Crowd: Awww!
Harry: But I see some other lonely Moulin Rouge dancers looking for a partner or two! So if you can hunk, hunk, then you can hunkadora with them! (spins the block on his raised platform and raises his arms, feigning exuberance, but there is a pained and worried look on his face.)
In Hermione's dressing room…
(Hermione is standing before a mirror while McGonagal zips up the diamond's tight-fitting, flattering red robes)
McGonagal: We'll get you all trussed up and ready to meet that professor. He'll make you a straight-A student!
Hermione: I'm going to fly away from here, McGonagal. (Looks to a bird singing in an iron cage and baby-talks to it) Ooo, yes, I'm going to fly away!
McGonagal: With Snape grading you, you'll be a real grade-A witch, just like Morgana!
Hermione: Oh, do you really think I could live up to the great sorceress Morgana?
McGonagal: I don't see why not!
(Harry enters the room in a rush, looking distressed)
Harry: Is everything all right?
Hermione: (breathlessly, looking at Harry from the mirror) Everything's fine, Harry. How do I look? (whirls around to face him) Smouldering potionist?
Harry: (rushes forward, delighted) Everything's going so well!
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that one! Next up is the scene ikkle Ronnikins didn't want to do… Keep checking back! The chapters might come more slowly now, since I have to type them up and my time is limited, but I've already hand-written the whole story so… never fear, it will be finished!