Using Remy LeBeau As Your Personal Barbie Doll

Or...

How Alisa LeBeau Knows a Dress Fits

By Nicole Wagner

Rating: PG-13

Content: Humor, Cross Dressing, Complete Humiliation on Gambit's Part

Main Characters: Alisa LeBeau, Remy LeBeau (Gambit), Logan (Wolverine), Rogue, and Many Others!

It Had been a few days ago, when Remy LeBeau, the mutant outlaw known as Gambit, got a phone call from his father from New Orleans. He had called saying he was sending his baby sister, his only real blood relative, over to attend school with the X-Men, do to the fact her mutant powers had finally developed. After many, many protests, screaming, crying, and much whining on his part, Remy had lost the match with his father, and his sister, Alisa LeBeau was going to be staying with him as an X-Man ... err... X-Woman...

Today was the day Alisa would be coming to the mansion, and Remy was already just about to pull out his hair. This would mean good bye to his sex life, no more romping around with beautiful woman, men, and Wolverine in his bedroom at late hours of the night. Professor Xavier had stated due to very little room left in the mansion, and the fact his sister would probably love to spend some time with him, that Alisa would be sharing a bedroom with the handsome Cajun. With a groan, Remy stood at the front door, waiting for his sister to arrive, rolling his red on black eyes in the back of his head.

"Dey shoulda jus' left mah to die in Antarctica ... dat woulda been a bettah fate den dis!! " He thought in the back of his mind. " Unless dis is punishment for what happened in Antarctica... can' dey jus' get over it, already!! Maybe ah'll jus' pack mah bags an' leave on de X-Jet back to Antarctica... dem Penguins made good company... "

While lost in his own mind, trying to figure out some way out of this entire mess, a simple, middle of the road yellow taxi cab drove up, parking right in front of the main entrance of the mansion. The door opened and out popped a young woman, standing about 5' 6", with long auburn hair that went down to the middle of her back. she had pale, white skin, a slightly large bust, small hips, long, slender legs, and strange red on black eyes, just like Remy's. She wore a black tank top, which showed every curved of her chest, a short pair of black jean shorts, a pair of black fingerless gloves upon her slender hands, and a black pair of boots that went up to her knees. Remy's jaw completely dropped when he saw the sight of his sister, then his red on black eyes slowly look over to Bobby who had just walked out to get some fresh air.

"Wow! Who ordered me a hooker?! This is the best Birthday Present I ever got! " Bobby squealed with joy, slightly jumping up and down. " Now I don't have to die a virgin! "

Remy turned red in the face, his red on black eyes narrowing down at Bobby Drake, who was jumping up and down like a small kid who just got an expensive toy for Christmas. " Dat ain' a hooker! Dat's mah sister, you asshole! "

"Your Sister's a hooker, Remy? " Bobby drake asked, looking highly confused, or in other words, he looked the same as he did every issue of X-Men. " Woah... I didn't know. Who cares! C'mon! Party's in my room... I hope you are wearing some sexy looking lingerie under that outfit ... though nothing at all would be lovely, too... "

"BOBBY! " Remy was red as a stop sign, picking up the young X-Man and shaking him like a rag doll. His younger sister blinks, just standing in front of the Taxi with her suitcase, watching the two fight, then Bobby getting punched in the eye and knocked out.

"Wonder what dat was all about... " She said softly to herself. Knowing Alisa LeBeau, she had zoned out while looking at the large mansion she would soon be living in. She never heard what Bobby and Remy were talking about or what they had started fighting about. She shrugs her shoulders slightly, taking a guess at what was going on. " Guess dat guy's a whore an' Remy didn' want him near me ... he look like de type... "

After while, and after Bobby was taken to the med lab for being completely tenderized at Remy's hands, Alisa had started unpacking her things into the small dresser Remy had given her for her clothing. she didn't understand why Remy needed three dressers in his room, and only gave her one, so she took a small peek in one of the many dressers he owned, finding a huge collection of trench coats. " So dis why he never run out o' dem... "

"Alisa, stop lookin' t'rough mah stuff! It rude, chere! " Remy spat out, walking into the bedroom and shutting his dresser drawer quickly. " Ah don' want you walkin' around in dat ... outfit o' yours ... you look.. umm... " Remy looked down at her, in his hands was a box with a nice pink ribbon on it. He just stood there, at a loss for words. " How de hell do ah tell her she look like a whore? " he thought to himself, then just gave up on explaining it to her and handed her the box. " Jus' wear dis... it a nice lil' outfit an' ah t'ink you'll look better in it! "

The young Cajun girl took the box from her brother, untying the ribbon and opening it up. A smirk came to her face as she slowly removed the contents of the box, a pastel pink, grandma looking dress. " Ah'm non wearin' dis... looks like sumt'ing an old lady would wear, big broder!"

"Dat's de point! Dis way non one will hit on you... dey'll jus' continue to hit on mah! " Remy said, posing suddenly in his red T-shirt that had a few tears in it, a pair of tight black jeans, showing off those muscular thighs of his, a pair of black boots, and a brown trench coat, which he could hardly live without. In fact, truth be told, Remy owns his own line of trench coats at Kmart. It's right next to the Martha Stewart Collection in the Soon To Be Convicted Felons Isle at Kmart.

"Well ... if you like de dress so much, why don' you wear it? " Alisa said with a slight smirk upon her painted black lips. " Besides, we pretty much look alike, don' we ... if you try it on an' look good in de outfit, den ah'll wear it. We got a deal? "

Remy look at her a grumbled. If this was the only way to get her to dress conservatively, and to make sure he got laid almost every night, then what choice did he have. " Fine ... gimme de dress an' ah'll try it on... "

"Wait, Remy ... you don' got any chest. How will ah know it it will fit properly in de bust area? " The young Cajun girl asked, tapping a finger on her chin, another smirk coming into play. " You'll 'ave to wear one o' mah bras, an' we'll gotta stuff it to make sure it look good around mah bust! "

"WHAT!?" Remy nearly dropped the pink dress in his hands, looking at his sister. " Alisa you ... you can' be serious... "

"You said if you'd wear it to see if ah looked good in it ... an' ah need to know if it fits around mah bust... "

"Okay, okay! Fine! You win! Ah'll wear de bra!" Remy said, nearly growling as his sister opened up her bedroom drawer, pulling out a pink bra with tiny cat paws on it. " Merdi... did she gotta take dat one out? It's so tacky... " he thought, then shook his head, strands of his long brown hair getting in his face. " What am ah talkin' about!? " Remy took the bra from her hands and marched into his bathroom, slamming the door shut as he began to change. Alisa would sit on his bed, waiting for her brother to come out, then looked in the doorway to find Wolverine standing there.

"'ello, how are you? " She asked politely, looking at the short hairy man at the doorway. He wore a flannel shirt and a pair of blue jeans, giving him a rugged look.

"You must be Remy's sister ... name's Logan pleased to meet you. " Logan said in that gruff, feral voice of his, slowly walking into the room. " Have you seen your brother? We were supposed to go to Harry's Hideaway so I could kick his ass in pool. "

"Oh? He's busy tryin' on a dress fer mah." She said with that honey coated Cajun accent of hers. " He should be out soon ... ah hope... "

"He's... trying on a dress? " Logan asked, his eyes a bit wide and his hand moving over his mouth, trying to surpass a chuckle. All eyes turned to the Bathroom door as it opened, Remy LeBeau slowly walking out in a pink, frilly dress with long sleeves. It went down past his knees, slightly, and with the bra on, it looked like he had a bit of a bust, now. He had taken his long, silky brown hair from it's ponytail, making him look a bit more feminine.

"Okay ... be honest ... how does it look, chere? " Remy asked, slowly turning around, then stopping when he sees Logan, his jaw dropping and just about to hit the floor if it could.

"That bra's a lil' tacky, Gumbo, you should at least try a nude colored one ... even a pink silk one would flatter the outfit if I say so myself. "Logan suggested, looking back at Alisa, a small grin on his face.

"Dat's non a bad idea, Logan ... an' perhaps some Cherry Blossom Lipstick to match de outfit ... oh! An' perhaps some eyeshadow to go wit' it! " Alisa said, jumping up and down slightly. This was becoming so much fun for her, though she did find it off that the tough looking Logan knew a bit about women's fashion.

"Wait a minute! You... Ah... " Remy just stood there in complete shock as Wolverine walked over, trying to straighten the dress of for him, his hands moving to the young Cajun's shoulders.

"Try and stand up straight, Gumbo, makes you look more ladylike ... plus it makes your bust come out a bit more." Logan said, a slight smile upon his lips as he smacked poor Remy on the ass for fun. Soon, all eyes turned to the door again, this time Rogue came in, smiling softly at Remy, who as in complete shock from what was going on.

"Hello there, sugah, ah'm Rogue. You mus' be the Swamp Rat's lil' sister. Ain' you darlin' in that lil' pink dress... " Rogue spoke with her soft, southern accent, smiling softly, then looking over at Logan who was behind Remy. "Ain' she cute? "

"Umm... ah'm over her, if you lookin' fer mah." Alisa smiled softly, waving from the bed.

"If your Gambit's sister then who's .... REMY!? " Rogue nearly fainted as Remy raised his hand, waving to her in complete embarrassment. " What the hell are you doin' in a dress!? Not only that,.. what are yah doin' in that bra, it's so tacky ... you shoulda at least word a nude colored one or a pink one to compliment the dress, sugah... Ah had no idea you was like this... "

"Ah'm non like dis, chere... Alisa siad she's wear it if ah wore it ... an' ... " Remy tried to explain to Rogue and Logan what was going on, only to be interrupted by his younger sister.

"Ah'm sorry big broder... ah can' wear dat dress... " Alisa said with a smirk. Remy went pale and nearly screamed from all the humiliation.

"Why non!? " He yelled, looking back at his sister, who just sat on the bed, her legs crossed very lady like. His hands on his hips of the dress as he looked back at her, fuming.

"Because you look bettah in it den mah! You keep it! " She Stated, slowly leaving the room with Rogue, who was still in shock over Remy wearing some pink frilly dress, with a bra stuffed.

"Don't listen to them, Cajun... " Logan said, slowly patting Remy on the back, trying to comfort the humiliated Cajun. " I'd think you'd look better with that brown hair of yours up and curled, wearin' a red silk evenin' gown, a matchin' silk strapless bra, white opera length gloves, an' a red silk thong ... then you'd look just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman! "

THE END?