And Then There Were Three
Chapter Eleven: Epiphany

S'ppose you want to know what I meant by reaching my 'epiphany' when I looked at L'il Miss Sunshine, a.k.a Ex-Vengeance Demon Anyanka, a.k.a Anya?

Don't go getting your knickers in a twist, I didn't look at the bint and fall arse over tit in love with 'er. I just… Oh, see for yourself…

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" with each word that was screeched directly into my ear, I was hit on the head and shoulders with a loofah while Anya clutched a towel to her chest.

S'ppose you guessed what happened, right? Yeah, I walked in on her in the bathroom – not my fault! Daft bint didn't lock the door and I didn't know she was home! So, while I was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of blood and wincing at my loofah burns, Anya walked in. She looked… different. Her hair was tugged into two damp plaits and she was wearing one of my shirts – though, I let that slide, bein' the charitable guy I am – and a pair of sweat pants. I didn't even know the woman owned sweat pants! And she didn't have that constant perky look on her face, y'know, the one that makes you smile through the doom and gloom just by lookin' at it?

"What's up with you?" I asked, rubbing my jaw where she hit me.

"Nothing," she answered.

I glanced at the cat clock on the wall and realised that the shop shouldn't've been closed. I don't think she'd've shut up early or called upon a Scoob to guard her money without something major havin' gone done – not a apocalypse or anything, just a world wide bunny invasion, so somethin' was most definitely up.

"Why are you home then, love?" I asked. "Shop's not s'pposed to be shut yet and here you are, in a place that isn't the magic shop."

"I didn't feel well," she said.

I reached out to feel her forehead; she flinched and stared at me, but didn't pull away. She was all right, no fever or anything and she, y'know, smelled healthy enough.

"Let's try again; what's up, Sunshine?"

She didn't answer, just stood up to get her bag. Her mouth was of the definite southward curl as she handed me the bundle. I frowned, but took it as an invitation to be nosy. I pulled it apart and found it was an orange hat and matching scarf and a –

"Bloody hell," I muttered as I stared at the photo in the brown frame. It was a picture of Anya and Xander with their arms around each other, grinning.

"Xander said I forgot some of my stuff and he gave me that," she whispered and pointed to the pile.

"What an arsehole," I breathed, only, not literally breathed, 'cause I don't. So I sort of exhaled. "What're you gonna do, pet?"

"Do?" she blinked, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Ask him what the fuck he thinks he's playing at?" I burst out.

I wanted to murder him at that moment. When I looked at her and didn't see the little ray of sunshine I'd grown to like and care 'bout, but saw a rain cloud. Her face wasn't made to look so sad. He broke her. God, if I didn't have this chip, I'd string him up and show Angelus a thing or two about torture.

"Right," I said, grabbing my jacket and shrugging it on. "You go and watch the TV, I think Tara's got some chick flicks," I opened the fridge and tossed her the large bar of chocolate. "Eat that, I'll be back later."

"Where're you going?" she asked, rising and gripping the chocolate.

"Where'd ya think?" I asked, my hand on the door handle.

"Xander?" she asked and I nodded. I waited for her to tell me no, insist that I do nothing.

But instead she shrugged. She wandered into the living room and I watched, frowning, as she went through one of the cupboards by the telly and produced Steel Magnolias. She settled down on the couch, tugging a blanket around her feet.

"Have a nice time, Spike," was all she said.

Oh, and I did. Not with Xander, though, but I'll come to that later. But I did find the Fraygon demon, in one of the tunnels. Had grabbed the sword that I keep by the door on my way out. I was wandering along the tunnels towards the magic shop and up it popped. Had a nice coupla rounds with him, got a hole in my gut for my troubles, but it was fun. Ran him through with my sword for Tara and loped his head off for Anya.

Had a right good time and had calmed down a little before going to see the whelp. He was leaning against the counter in the shop when I came in, listening to something Red was saying while Buffy played with a stake – not listening, probably thinking 'bout my big di – duster, she wants it, I'm tellin' you. Dawn looked up from what I guessed was homework and grinned at me as I rested my sword on the counter behind Harris.

"Hey, Spike," she said.

"Spike?" Red leapt up. "Is it Tara? Oh, God, what happened?"

I pushed past her and stalked up to Xander, who, I'm pleased to say, paled a little.

"Nothin' wrong with Tara, Will," I said, not looking at her. "But something's very wrong with Anya."

"Anya?" Xander squeaked, very manly. "What have you done to her?"

"Gave her chocolate and a movie, what'd you give her?"

"Wha -"

"Oh, that's right," I folded my arms and glared at him. "Her stuff and a photo of the two of you together."

"Xander?" Willow said quietly. "You gave her a picture of the two of you?"

"Well, that's insensitive," Dawn muttered.

"Dawn!" Buffy snapped.

"It her photo frame!" Xander protests.

"Yeah?" I dug in my pocket and produced the crumpled photo I'd taken from the frame before I left. "But it's your photo, so here you go, she's keeping the frame."

"What is this?" Xander asked, pushing me back and snatching the photo. "When did you start getting all protective towards Anya -" and then, for some reason, the whelp started laughing. "Oh, God, this is even funnier than with Buffy!"

He practically doubled up and cackled like an idiot.

"You told him?" Buffy hissed.

"No," I answered. "What you laughing at, Harris?"

"You," he choked. "You thought you had a chance with Buffy? You've got even less of a chance with Anya!"

And where in the hell did that come from? I do not fancy Anyanka!

"Oh yeah?" I decide to play it cool. Upset Xander and make Buffy jealous. Ever heard the saying, "killing two birds with one stone"? I came closer to him and smirked. "What makes you think I haven't had that chance several times already?"

Xander gaped at me and swung, but I saw it coming and ducked. But what I didn't see was his hands grab my shoulders and propel me backwards into the table.

"You haven't touched her," he said in a low and probably what he thought was a threatening voice. "She won't ever let you touch her. Ever."

"Why's that then?" I pushed him back and straightened up. "Why wouldn't she want to put her hands on my sexy body?" I glanced at Buffy. "Many have tried to resist, all have failed."

She looked disgusted – great new look for you, Slayer – but didn't say anything 'cause Harris was talking.

"She'll never touch you, Spike," he said. "Because not only are you disgusting and sick and an impotent little puppy, but she's in love with me and she always will be. It will always be me for her, Spike, it will always be me."

And for some reason, I saw red. I didn't even think about the chip, I just hit. Hard. He reeled backwards, clutching his jaw. Willow and Buffy ran to him and Dawn was looking at me strangely as I clutched at my head.

"Get out, Spike," Buffy told me, helping Xander to his feet.

"Always me," Xander smirked – which is no where near as good as mine, I er, think – "She'll always want me and she'll always be in love with me."

I didn't answer, I just left. Grabbed my sword and walked out.

Then I got home and saw Tara and Anya watching the end of the movie. Anya looked at me, at the sword in my clenched fist and returned her gaze to the telly. Tara frowned a little at me but didn't say anything. I look over at the frame the photo of Anya and Xander was in. There was a Magic Box receipt in it.

"The first one I ever rang up," Anya said, seeing what my gaze rested on, an odd note of pride in her voice.

I grinned then and pulled off my duster. Gave my sword a quick wipe with the tea towel then had a shower. They were watching Scream 2 when I came back into the living room, so I settled down on the couch and swung my legs over the arm. Tara, who was sitting on the chair to the side, copied me and our feet batted playfully as we watched the movie. After a while, Anya leaned her head against me and I put my arm around her. Movie was good. Company was better.

So, what I meant by getting my epiphany when I looked at Anya, I meant that I knew what she felt and I didn't want to feel it anymore. Knew I needed to move on as much as she did. And I am, I'm moving on. Take a good look, mate, 'cause this is Spike, William the Bloody, moving on from the Slayer and all the pain that comes with her. This is me doin' better.