And Then There Were Three
Chapter Sixteen: No Place Like Home
I sit on the little landing between the two flights of stairs and stare down at the small hall that leads to the main door. I light a cigarette and take a long and much needed drag. Feel like I shouldn't be here, like this is their place now, not mine. I sigh, toss the fag down the stairs and watch as is slowly fizzles out in a puddle of orange soda that has pooled on the bottom step.
I get up slowly and, for some painfully obscure reason, I feel my age. I feel like one hundred and twenty eight years I really am. In other words, I feel soddin' awful. I climb the last five stairs to the floor our apartment is on and search my pockets for my keys. But maybe I shouldn't? I mean, I've been away for a week, staying in La-La Land with Angel and his little gang... Ok, enough with the trying to think about something else.
So, I'm not goin' to waltz in, I'll just knock. I pick up my bag, raise my fist, take a deep breath and knock before I can change my mind. I hear female voices and I feel nervous at the thought of seeing them again. Tara opens the door and stares blankly at me for a long moment, then a slow smile spreads over that pretty face and lights up all her features. Next thing I know, I'm knocked backwards into the wall behind me as she leaps at me and hugs me tight. God, I'm idiot, I was gonna walk away from this? I cradle her tightly and stroke her hair. When I open my eyes, Willow is smiling at me from the door of the apartment.
"Can't get rid of you, can we?" she says.
"Willow," Tara scolds, pulling away and reaching for my bag.
"No, pet, I'll get it," I tell her and she smiles as she lets me pick it up.
"I didn't mean that, Spike," Willow says.
"I know, Red, don't worry 'bout it."
"Angel called," Tara says once we're in the kitchen and Willow's in the living room. "He said you were staying there for a while. I was beginning to think you weren't coming back."
"What can I say, love," I shrug. "Couldn't deprive you of my presence and manly good looks for too long, now, could I?"
She laughs. "Oh, I did miss you. Dawn's been frantic."
"And, uh… Anya?" I ask, lowering my eyes and lacing my fingers together on the table, listening to her bustle merrily about the small kitchen.
"Have some blood," she says kindly and places the mug in front of me. "Everyone was worried when you just took off, Spike," she continues solemnly. "Even Buffy and Xander wondered a little."
"Did you tell them I was with Angel?" I ask.
"No," she admits. "Only Willow, Anya and I knew. I didn't think the others should know, in case they went to get you, and it would only upset Dawn."
"Yeah, right," I snort.
"They might have," she says gently.
I shrug and listen to the TV in the living sputter from music to conversation as Red flicks through the channels.
"You and Will live here now?" I ask.
"No, she's just visiting," she explains. "I said I'd stay with Anya until you got home, then I'm going back to Buffy's with Willow."
"That's nice for you," I say.
"Yes," she smiles dreamily and I feel really happy for her, if a little jealous that Will gets her 24/7 - lucky bint.
"Good for you," I say honestly.
"Spike, why did you go?" she asks suddenly.
"I thought it was over," I mutter, staring at the blood.
"Thought what was over?" she reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
"You were gettin' back with Willow, so you'd be off, and Anya was gettin' back with Harris. I'd probably still see you, but I wouldn't see her anymore. And if you two weren't here, I could kiss goodbye to seeing Bit every day and havin' her stay over every Friday, Slayer'd see to that," I take a slow sip of blood. "Didn't want that, so I left, decided to finish it on my terms."
"I would have made sure Buffy still let you see Dawn, even if it meant staying here every Friday night. And Anya told Xander it was over for good."
"I know," I reply. "Uh, how is she?"
"Apart from sick with worry about you?" she smiles. "She's fine."
I don't answer. I look through the half open kitchen door and see that Willow has paused in her channel surfing to watch Pinocchio cavort with Jiminey Crickett. She sighs and turns the telly off, coming to the door and leaning against the frame.
"I've got a thing about Pinocchio," she tells us. "The whole acting like a real boy, but not a real boy, doesn't do it for me, not when you live on a Hellmouth."
"What if he was acting like a real girl, sweetie?" Tara asks with a dirty grin. Yes, I did say the words "Tara" and "dirty" in the same sentence –
"I could be persuaded," Willow answers.
"So, you two're back on track?" I ask.
"Yeah," Tara breathes and reaches for Willow's hand, she takes it with a sugary sweet grin.
"Anya's at the shop," Willow tells me. "The last few nights, she's been staying later and later."
"Go see her," Tara urges.
"If you wanted rid of me so you could have wild, marathon sex, you could've just said," I grumble and am rewarded with a blush from both girls.
"Go see her," Tara repeats, a little more sternly this time.
"I… I don't know what to say to her," I admit sheepishly.
"May I suggest that this time you don't tie the girl up and demand her love or her life?" Willow offers brightly. I look at her in abject horror and she shrugs. "It's obvious, it's not like I needed a road map or anything."
"But what if I'm doin' the wrong thing?" I ask, figuring that if they both know, I might be able to get some halfway decent advice.
"Always let your conscience be your guide!" they sing song.
No way I'm gonna ask twice.
Had it all figured out, I did. Had a speech all prepared, my hair felt all right and I knew my rakish grin was on fine form. And all that planning has just taken a Concorde to hell. I scowl at the vampires who surround me. Great. Part of me thinks this is a great way to work off the nervous tension while the other part just wants to get the heart-to-heart over with. Oh, and the third part is worrying about my hair. Damn, knew I spent too much time with the ponce.
"Thought you were gone for good," one hisses at me.
"And what made you think that?" I ask.
"Heard the Slayer kicked your ass so bad, you had to crawl outta town," he smirks. "And now here you are, just asking for a beating."
"For what?" I ask, my voice slightly raised.
"Killing your own kind," he informs me.
"Have to add to my growing list," I shrug and lunge at him, reaching for my stake at the same time.
Idiot didn't know what hit him. I give my boots a shake to rid them of the dust and grin at his cronies.
"Any more for anymore?" I ask pleasantly, hoping they'll run so I can get goin'.
They exchange a few hesitant glances, but then they seem to growl as one and step forward.
"Have it your own way," I shrug and slip into game face.
They attack sloppily and it's easy to find holes in their defence, which is why two more are dusted in seconds. There's only two left now and they seem to think that by attacking together, they'll have a better chance.
Needless to say, they were wrong.
As one attacks from the left, I lift my elbow and his own momentum sends him flying backward as he connects with it. I turn to meet his friend and duck as he reaches me, throwing him over my back. They get up and come at me again, one managing a hard fist into my face that causes my nose to stream with blood and a kick in my manhood.
"Bloody hell!" I shout, glancin' down at my crotch. "I was gonna use that later!"
For that, I knee him in the stomach and straighten him back up with an uppercut. I ram the stake into his chest and even before he's dust, I turn I slam my boot into his friend's face. The vamp tries some fancy leaping kick, but I grab his leg mid air and twist it, liking the sound it makes when it breaks. Gotta give the guy credit, he struggles to his one good leg once I've let him go and produces a knife that flashes out and slices my cheek. Shit. That hurt, but not as much as a stake would've.
He takes advantage of my brief lapse in concentration and aims a punch but I catch his fist and jam the stake into him. Did the guy a favour; he weren't gettin' laid with half his shin hangin' out. I tuck my stake into my pocket and saunter along to the shop.
My dick aches, there's blood running down my cheek from the knife cut and the blood hasn't stopped runnin' from my throbbin' nose. Great. I look like I've been in a bar brawl – which I sorta have. But if I go back to the apartment to shower and change, I'll probably walk in on some lurid sex act between Tara and Willow or Anya'll come in and it'll be awkward with everyone else there. So I push the door of the Magic Box open as slowly as possible, so that the bell is barely heard.
Obviously, Anya hasn't heard me come in; she's hunched at the table, over the accounts probably, and her head is propped in her hand. She looks tired and I somehow doubt she's actually workin'.
"'Ello, Sunshine," I say in a low voice.
She freezes – if that's possible when the person in question weren't movin' much to begin with. Then she lifts her head slowly and turns toward me. Her eyebrows knit together and her eyes widen. She has gorgeous eyes, not brown exactly, but a deep chestnut. And am I gawpin'? Oh, God, I'm gawpin'.
I give my head a small shake and resist the urge to shut my mouth with my hand.
"Spike?" she asks, and gets up slowly. "My God."
"Don't scream your joy at seein' me too loudly," I mutter, no this most definitely not goin' to plan.
"You're hurt," she says, coming toward me and running her thumb along my cheekbone. I close my eyes a little against her touch and when I open them, she's frowning at me. "I'll get the First Aid kit."
I let her guide me to a chair and wait for her to come back. When she does, she pulls a chair close and sits down. Our knees are pressed together as she carefully cleans the wound gently and wipes the blood from my upper lip where the vampire smashed my nose. When she's done, she pulls her hands back sharply and busies herself with putting the things back into the kit. Then she clasps her hands in her lap and bows her head.
"You're back," she states after a moments silence.
"Seems that way," I answer. "Look at me, Anya."
She lifts her head and I'm shocked and amazed to see tears in her eyes.
"You left," there's anger in her voice and something blazes in her eyes.
"Yeah, I did," I say.
"Do you have any idea how worried we were about you?" she cries, jumping up and pacing. "I mean, one minute you're there, talking to me, and the next you're gone. Like, poof! No explanation, no dramatic gestures! What's that all about?"
"I left a note!" I protest.
"Oh, yeah," she says sarcastically. "Because 'bye' gives a reason why you left, tells us you care and that, hey, maybe you'll be back. Everything was all out of shape because of you, Spike! Tara was crying, Dawn was being a sulky, mood swingy teen, Willow even suggesting calling Angel. Even Buffy said she wanted you to come back to help her patrol and Xander said you'd better come back because everyone was all up in the air because you had gone! Don't you - "
"What about you, Anya?" I interrupt.
"What?" she asks.
"You've listed everyone who knows me and given me a brief summary of their reactions, but I don't know how you reacted."
"Why do you want to know?" she asks, seemingly bewildered by the idea that I might care how she felt.
"Maybe because it matters to me."
"Matters to you?"
I stand up and approach her, slipping into my patented sexy, predator-like stalk. She stares up at me and backpedals 'til she hits the counter.
"What are you doing?" she whispers.
"What I came back for."
"Came back for?" she repeats. "What did you come back for?"
"You," I whisper huskily in her ear. "Came back for you, Sunshine. Missed you. More than missed you."
"You missed me?" there's wonder in her voice.
"Yeah," I admit.
She stares at me and I realise that I'm probably not the best thing to look at in a romantic situation; there's residual vamp dust on my clothes, I know my nose is bruised and the white patch she put over the cut on my cheek is hardly manly. Then she reaches up and cups my cheek. The look on her face I s'ppose could be likened to wonder, like she's seeing me for the first time and while she stares at me, I try to remember when things changed. When did I look at her and see her? I've got a funny feeling it was the day I walked in on her in the shower, when she came out afterwards wearin' my red shirt and looked so broken. I think that was why I was so angry with him, 'cause she was never s'pposed to be like that. She was… Anya, my little ray of Sunshine.
"I missed you too," she whispers and I take that as my cue to act.
I grab her around the waist and pull her toward me. She gives a little gasp at the sudden movement. I run my hand over her hair and when my hand reaches the nape of her neck, I pull her face toward mine and do what I never realised I wanted to do for so long.
I kissed her.
And the best part?
She kissed me back.