Siverus Snop, Severus Snape and an unreasoned Pregnancy.

This story is based on this set me and my friend made. We were bored so we got out this clay stuff called Fimo.
Disclaimers: I don't own Snape or Gilderoy Lockhart or numerous other things in this...
Me and my friend Holly own: A Strange Snape figure I made, Snape's Cauldron, Snape's Desk, Snape's Wand(even though I've lost it), A Mutant Potion bottle, Siverus Snop, Pregnant Snape and his Fez, The mutant owl, snape's Magic carpet(Don't ask... I don't understand!), a mutant figure of me(Holly made that... That's why my hair sticks up... We were having fun making fun of each other), A mutant figure of Holly(I made that, That's why her feet are too big to stand on), A Mutant Figure of Gilderoy Lockhart and Baby Snape which is currently not named... But it originally owned Pregnant Snape's Fez.
Maybe I should have asked Holly if I could include her in this first... Too bad!

"How did you get pregnant?" Holly asked.
"Some boyfriend! Get's Pregnant when I'm not around!" charlotte said stroppily.
"Yeah!" Siverus agreed for absolutely no reason except to look stupid.
"I don't Get pregnant! I just... did." Snape said.
"Who's the father?" Siverus asked.
"I don't know. The doctor said He can take a DNA test... After calling me a medical Mystery." Snape scowled.
"I can no longer talk to you!" Charlotte said turning away from Snape.
"Okay! I'm fine with that!" Snape cheered.
"Oh... How can I abandon you in this time of need? You need me!" Charlotte said hugging Snape.
"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, Get on your nerves, I know a song that'll get on your nerves and this is how it goes!" Siverus sung.
"I'm tired. I want to go to sleep." Severus moaned.
"My parents are staying at the hospital with my sister for the week, so you can sleep... on the couch! Isn't that nice of me!" Charlotte smiled.
"Yes... It's great." Snape grumbled.
charlotte put a blanket over snape and everyone went off to get sleeping bags(From nowwhere...?)
Everyone went to sleep.
In the morning Snape felt sick. He tried not to throw up but failed. But Charlotte did get the stuff out her hair eventually. After her hair was clean and shiny(Thanks to Herbal Essences ) they all went to the hospital.
Severus was taken into a room and the others all waited in a waiting room.
"I'm bored now. There's got to be some magazines somewhere!" Charlotte complained.
"Can't we just watch Lord of the Rings? I want to see Frodo do the chicken Frog dance!" Holly shouted, Oh, I should probably tell her that I added this in to because she made up that name for it.
"Lalalalalalala!" Siverus sung tunelessly.
Ten minutes later Snape was taken out of the room being held by a nurse.
"Help me! He heard the result and went flipping Pshyco!" The nurse said as Snape was acting as crazy and over-active as Angus the cat from 'Angus, Thongs and full-frontal snogging'.
"What's the result?" Charlotte asked.
The nurse got a peice of paper and showed Charlotte. It was a list of names.
"What's this for?" Holly asked.
"It's a list of the father..." the nurse replied.
"Let me read it." Charlotte said, "Lockhart, Gilderoy. Snop, Siverus. Dixon char..." she shouted.
"Who's this Dixon Char?" Siverus asked.
Charlotte turned to him with a deathly pale scowl.
"I'm this Dixon Char!" she shouted.
"Oh. We're daddys!" Siverus shouted.
"I'm not supposed to be though! I am Thirteen and I have never even slept in the same room as him, except last night but I was in a sleeping bag and he was on the couch and... Oh my god I'm hyperventilating!" Charlotte shouted angrily collapsing on the floor.
"She's never going to act normally is she." Holly said.
"I don't know what else there is to do. I'm sorry, We've never had any male pregnancys and even more, never with several parents!" The nurse apologised.
"Damn. That means we are stuck with two Rabid Weirdos." Holly said calmly.
"HAHAHAHA!!!" Siverus laughed for no reason.
"Okay, three Rabid Weirdos." Holly said correcting her earlier statement.
Holly dragged her three rabid weirdo friends outside and threw them on the pavement.
"I can't take any more of you three! You're all going to St Mungos!" holly shouted.
The three on the floor were too busy groaning to listen so she just had to use an incantation to get them to St mungos as this was an emergency.
As soon as they got there they were welcomed by some wizards in strange suits. They were taken into a room.
"What seems to be the problem?" One of the guys said.
"I'm pregnant." Snape said angrily.
"Oh... K. This is a usuall occurance here. Had tests taken to see who the father is?" the guy asked.
"Yes. Aparantly the fathers are Gilderoy Lockhart; My brother; and this strange fangirl who stands at my side!" Sev shouted.
"Ah k. What is your profession? What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a potions professor."
"Do you carry Veritesium?" (Yes I know that's probably spelt wrong!)
"Yes... Why?"
"Because it is fairly toxic. It can have strange side-affects like this one. Three people have managed to get you pregnant with one child. Very Normal."
"Normal? NORMAL?!?!?!?!" Sev shouted throwing a fit.
"Feel for me! I'm the father of your kid!" Charlotte shouted.
"I am too!" Siverus cheered.
"Oh... And since the baby is a cause of toxication it will grow abnormally fast untill it is born. Then it will grow normally!"the doctor informed snape.
Snape couldn't take any more of this so he strangled the doctor.
"Sev! Off!" Charlotte ordered.
Sev carried on strangling the doctor untill a look of sudden pain came over him, then he realised the doctor.
"What's up sev?" charlotte asked.
"Something is happening!" Sev shouted. He was right something was happening. His stomach suddenly inflated to a larger size. He was now the size of a nine month pregnant person.
"I'm in pain!" Sev growled. He was now in labour.
"Poor Sev!" Siverus and Charlotte said hugging Severus.
"Yes. Poor Snape." Holly droned Sarcastically.
"How long is this going to last? I'm in totall agony!" Snape shouted strangling Charlotte.
"See. We told you it'd grow quickly." the doctor said.
"Oh thanks for the sympathy!" Snape growled.
"I'll give you lots of sympathy! And Hugs!" Charlotte said hugging Snape's head.
"Is there a way to get her surgically removed?" Sev asked.
"Aw! Why wuwd my Sevewus want me wemoved?" Charlotte asked speaking baby talk... badly.
"He's going to need a Cisterian." The doc said.
"Oh no! Sevewus!!! Why? Why!?!?!" Charlotte shouted.
"How else is he supposed to give birth? Spit the baby out?" The doc said moodily.
"WWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Charlotte cried.
"Severus, if you'd come with me." the doc said.
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COME WITH YOU?!?! I'M IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO EVEN STAY ALIVE! LET ALONE WALK!" Sev shouted.
"Fine! Accio Wheelchair!" The doc said getting a Wheelchair for sev.
He put the poor patient into the wheel chair then that was followed by many naughty words from sev.
Charlotte, Siverus and Holly were left in the waiting room.
"Now, The madness is over." Holly said reading a Lord of the rings book.
"How dare you read that evil Garbage while Sev is in trouble! Right now they are cutting him up..." Charlotte cried. "I can't stay here and let Sev die! I'm going to save him!" And with that she put on a surgeon suit and went into the operating theater.
"Ah. doctor. Please gimme something to get rid of the pain!" Sev cried.
He was sitting on the bed holding out a cushion to defend his robes from being removed from some suspicious looking Nurses.
"Um. Okay." Charlotte said in a silly deep voice. Then she kissed him on the cheek.
"What was THAT supposed to do? You idiot!" Sev shouted.
"Um.... I wuv you!" Charlotte said stupidly. Sev looked at her eyes and suddenly whispered:
"Oh God no! My child is being Delivered by the stupidest Thirteen year old on the planet..."
"Sev, You don't need to panic! I know enough about Medicine to do this!" Charlotte hissed.
"Allright... Alright... OH GOD! SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!!!" Sev shouted. Then he started screaming really loud and really filthy words.
Another doctor came in and told Charlotte that the operation was going to start. They started it and at the first sight of blood, Charlotte and Sev both passed out.
Fifteen minutes later, charlotte woke up to find an awake Severus holding an awake baby girl with an awake Siverus and Hardly awake holly nearby.
"Charlotte... This is your daughter!" Siv said.
"And yours." charlote said.
"And his." Siv said.
"Okay, We know who the baby belongs to! We need to think of a name." Sev hissed.
"Um... Enid?" Charlotte sugessted.
"Do we want her getting beaten up?" Sev scowled holding the baby protectively.
"Um... Severus?" Siverus Sugested.
"That's my name you moron!" Sev shouted.
"Um........ Enid?" Charlotte suggested again.
"I said NO!" Sev shouted.
"Um... Enid?" Siverus sugested.
"They aren't going to give up so you might as well agree. Holly said looking up from her book for a maximum of five miliseconds.
"Um... Enid?" Charlotte and Siverus suggested AGAIN.
"fine! Enid!" Sev hissed.
"Can I sing a lullaby?" Charlotte asked.
"Fine." Sev said wearily.
Then Charlotte sung Enid by the Barenaked ladies a minimum of a zillion times. but the song rocks so no one could complain.
The baby seemed to like the song so she was now called Enid. Siverus suggested they hired the barenaked ladies for her Christening but Holly said she'd be bored senseless... so Charlotte told her to bring Nine Books to read and everyone was happy. Except Severus because he actually wanted the baby to be called Cara.

Notes: YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! cough I'm done! please review! Okay, My hand hurts now. Too much typing! Oh well! If you want to see the music video for the song enid(by BNL not me) then go to and also you can email me at