-Sometime in 7th year-
Severus walked hurriedly across the Hogwarts lawns. The pain in his arm was searing, and if he didn't get to the cemetery quickly, he could be sure to be into more then what the Dark Mark on his arm was doing to him.
"Damn it!" He sighed. There was a large padlock on the door. "Damn it to hell!" He slammed his hand against the padlock, before taking out his wand, "Alahomora!"
The lock clicked, and fell open, and Severus quickly unchained, and opened the gate, apperating quickly to the large cemetery that Lord Voldemort held his meetings of his followers.
"You're late." He noted Severus as he walked into the circle, pulling his hood over his head.
"I apologize my Lord. The gate at Hogwarts was locked."
"Any new news?"
"No Master." Severus shook his hooded head. "I have not spoken with Dumbledore personally for a long time."
"What about Potter? His plans?"
"He's becoming an auror." Severus told him, the pain in his arm finally drifting away. "I know that Dumbledore sent in his papers last week."
"Very good." Lord Voldemort's smile was a cruel one. "That will be all. You may return to your.school."
Severus nodded, and backed out of the circle, running down the hill to apperate back outside of the gates.
Luckily no one had noticed the open gate, and he was able to sneak back inside, and into the castle. He was supposed to have met Lily in the unused charms room half an hour ago. Of course, Lily had now gotten used to him being late, his excuse being he got caught up in his homework She didn't know he was secretly a death eater.
"It's about time!" Lily got up from the desk on which she sat. "I was getting worried."
"Sorry." Severus sighed, pushing his hood down, hoping she wouldn't notice it. "Lucius was.talking about something, and wouldn't shut up about it."
"Severus.what are you really doing? I know you aren't telling me the truth!" Lily crossed her arms. "I don't like being lied to."
Severus took a deep breath, "Are we going to work on our Care of Magical Creatures, or no?"
"No, we're not."
"Then I won't waste my time with you." Severus turned, his cloak billowing behind him.
"Severus." Lily whispered.
"What Lily?" He stopped in the doorway, not turning around.
"You aren't.one of them, are you?" Lily asked. Death Eaters had killed her parents three months ago.
Severus sucked in a breath, "No."
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Severus sat in Charms class the next day, when a searing pain hit his arm, and he almost couldn't stifle the shriek of pain in his throat. He checked to make sure no one was looking, before pushing up his sleeve. The mark had turned from it's normal black to a searing red. Emergency.
"Professor?" He raised his hand, interrupting Professor Flitwick, "Can I go to the bathroom?"
"Can it wait, Mr. Snape?"
"No, I really have to go." Severus hoped the urgency in his voice made it sound like he really did.
"Alright, go ahead."
Severus got up quickly from his bench, and raced down the hallway, catching the Professor's, "The bathroom is the other direction, Mr. Snape!" but ignoring it.
He pushed the heavy doors open quickly, and ran across the lawn, trying to ignore the pain in his arm, wishing it wasn't almost a quarter of a mile to the Hogwarts gate, but finally reaching it. The stupid padlock was still there.
"Alahomora!" He hissed, trying to catch his breath, his arm now feeling like it was about to burn right off.
"I don't think so, Mr. Snape." Dumbledore stood behind him.
"Pro.professor." Severus slammed up against the gate.
"Shouldn't you be in class?"
Finally the pain began to go away in his arm. Maybe the Lord had given up on him. He knew he would be as good as dead the next time. "I.I."
"Mr. Snape, I am very, very disappointed in you."
"Professor, you don't understand."
"I understand perfectly." Professor Dumbledore turned away, and began to walk back up the sloping hill. "Follow me, Mr. Snape."
Snape clutched his arm, as the pain returned. His master was trying again, but followed Professor Dumbledore.
A few minutes, and two strangled cries later, Severus sat in Professor Dumbledore's office, his hand clenched around his arm, tears streaking down his face.
"Severus." Dumbledore shook his head sadly, taking the boys arm, sliding up the sleeve.
Severus sucked in his breath, as Dumbledore touched the mark, turning it to a neutral blue color, melting the pain slowly away. "I'm sorry Professor."
"How long?" Professor Dumbledore's voice was hard, and unforgiving.
"Two years, next month." Severus clutched his arm back to his chest.
"I suppose you're another student spy for Voldemort?"
Severus pursed his lips, and nodded, "But I swear, I haven't told him anything."
Dumbledore's voice softened, "I know Severus."
"I just.It's so hard." Severus didn't bother to hide his tears, as they streaked down his cheeks. "Lucius got me into it. Last summer. I didn't want to...he dragged me to the meeting, and."
"I know Severus."
"No you don't!" Severus shouted. "You have no idea what it's like to be branded like this!" His bottom lip trembled. "I lost my father to this person, not to mention my siblings, and yet with those people in black, it's the only place I fell loved, and like I belong!"
Dumbledore's kind eyes fell on the boy in front of him, and he felt his heart reaching out to him, but he held himself back, "I can't help you Severus. You got yourself into this mess.you have to get yourself out."
"But I want don't want out!" Severus yelled, and closed his eyes against the old professor in front of him. "I.I just." He sighed. "I don't know what I want anymore."
"I am not going to expel you, because you only have three weeks of school left. But I want you to tell your.lord, or whatever you call him that you will not be attending any meetings for the next three weeks."
"Yes Professor." Severus whispered. "I'll.I'll tell him right away."
"No. You tell him after dinner. You have classes to go to."
Severus turned, and walked quickly out of the office.
__
"I'm sorry Master, I didn't know that the lock-" Severus screamed, as the craticus curse pinned him against the wall, and his arms began to bend a way.that.well, your arms are not supposed to bend.
"I know what you didn't know." Voldemort hissed, as he fell to the floor. "You let yourself get caught, and now Dumbledore knows."
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Severus yelled, and a different spell pulled him up from the floor, and he found himself short for breath, and Voldemort hadn't even touched his wand.
"Of course not." Lord Voldemort's voice was cold. "And it will NOT happen again!"
"He.he said I couldn't come here again until school was over. I don't know what he'll do to me."
"I know what he'll do to you."
"Master.please." Severus's hands when to his throat, and he tried to pry whatever it was that was suffocating him off, but of course there was nothing there.
"You have three weeks Severus. If you don't get me useful information, I will, mark my words, I will kill you. You can be easily replaced."
Severus nodded, and the weight was lifted from his throat. "Yes Master."
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"Severus?" Lily whispered, leaning into the dark empty room where Severus sat crying, and trying to rid himself of all his pain before he returned to the common room.
"Go away Lily." Severus sucked in a breath.
"Severus, what happened?" Lily turned on a light.
"Nothing, stay out of it."
"Severus, you're bleeding all over." Lily knelt next to him.
"Stop it!" He pushed her hands off of his head, as she looked at the gash on the back of his head. "Just.go away."
"Severus, let me help you!" Lily begged.
"Leave me alone Lily!"
"Who did this, Severus?"
"Who the hell do you think?" Severus hissed. "Leave me alone!"
Lily sat back on her knees, "You lied to me."
"Yes all right! I've been lying to you for two years!" Severus yelled. "Is that what you want to hear!"
Lily was quiet for a moment, before speaking silent tears streaming down her face, "I hate you."
"Oh yes, that that is bright! I've been trying to get you to hate me seven years now! If only I knew."
"You are such an ass!" She slapped him, and then got up from the floor. "I hope you bleed to death."
"I would only be so lucky." Severus yelled after her, and then after she was out of hearing distance, he put his head to the floor, and wept.
__
"Severus?" Remus knelt next to him in the classroom. "Severus?" He shook him.
Severus groaned, his whole body aching, partly from the beating, the other part from sleeping on the stone floor.
"Are you all right?" Remus whispered.
"No." Severus shook his head. "I hurt.to much." He grunted.
"It's alright." Remus brushed his hair off of his forehead. "I healed the cut on your head, but I'm afraid only Madam Pomfrey can do anything about your pain."
"I can't move Remus." Severus shook his head.
"Okay." Remus nodded, pulling Severus's head into his lap. "You'll be okay. I'll help you."
"Did Lily tell you everything?"
"Yea." Remus nodded, stroking the sweat off of Severus's forehead. "She's.mad."
"I know." Severus nodded, and then groaned in pain.
"She told me she slapped you. Can you sit up now?"
"I can try." Severus tried to push himself up, and was able to lean up against the wall. "Hold on a minute."
"Take all the time you need." Remus leaned on the space of wall next to him. "I was going to try to.freeze the gashes, but I thought I might stop the blood flow, and your heart would stop."
"Death is better then this." Severus couldn't stop the laugh, followed by hacking up a little bit of blood onto the floor. After he was done, Remus pulled him back against the hall, and leaned the other boys against his shoulder.
"Don't talk anymore."
"This is so disgusting." He sighed. "I just want to take a very long, very hot shower."
"I don't think you could hold yourself up that long." Remus smiled.
"True, but I could always just sit on the floor."
"True." Remus whispered, pushing a lock of the other boy's hair behind his ear. "Or, if you're really serious, I could.help you out."
"I'll wait until morning." Severus whispered, closing his eyes against Remus's shoulder. "I just want to go to sleep."
"I don't think you should do that." Remus stood, "C'mon. I'll help you to the kitchens."
"What am I going to get in the kitchens?"
"Food for one. And I know for a fact they keep potions down there."
"No, just take me to the potions dungeon." Severus shook his head.
"Severus, do you want me to take you to the first years showers, and put you under one?"
"All right.All right." He took Remus's hand, and stood slowly, putting his head against the cold stone for a moment. "All right. I think I can walk."
"Put your arm around me."
"No, I can walk."
"Put your arm around me." Remus insisted, one of his arms going around Severus's small waist.
"Yes your majesty." Severus obliged, and put his arm around Remus's neck.
"Now just take it slow."
Somehow, the two managed to get to the large portrait of the fruit bowl, and Remus raised one hand to tickle the pear, before the picture vanished, and he and Severus made their way into the busy kitchen.
"Can I get a bowl of stew, and one of your healing potions please?" Remus requested of one of the house elves.
"Yes sirs!" The house elf took the order kindly, and went about his business, as Remus helped Severus lower himself into a chair.
"Are you feeling any better?" Remus asked, taking the bowl of stew from the elf, and a package of crackers, followed by a loaf of bread, not to mention three healing potions.
"Not really." Severus shook his head.
"Eat this." Remus broke some of the crackers into the stew, and mixed it up.
"Are you going to feed it to me too?" Severus asked, taking the spoon from him, and eating some.
"Here." Remus tore off a piece of the bread, and handed it to him.
Severus took it, "I feel like your fattening me up for spring slaughter or something."
"Maybe I will slaughter you after you're better."
"Oh yes, I'll look forward to it."
"Drink this." Remus pushed the first bottle of potion at him.
"Yes Mr. Lupin." Severus obliged him again, and took the potion bottle, sniffed it, and shrunk away. "That is gross."
"Drink it, Severus."
Taking a deep breath, he downed the bottle. "That is so.disgusting."
"I know it's gross, but ignore it, and finish your food. Then I'll walk you back to your common room."
"You can't do that."
Remus raised an eyebrow.
"You don't know where it is."
"I know where everything is. I'm a very good stalker when I want to be."
"You've stalked me?"
"Just around the castle." Remus smiled.
"I suppose you know the password too."
"Ginger Root."
"We changed it last week." Severus smiled, finishing the last spoonful of the stew.
"Do you want more?"
"No." Severus shook his head. "I'll take that bread though."
"Ready to go?" Remus asked, handing him the rest of the bread.
"Yea." Severus nodded.
As they stood, a swarm of house elves enwrapped them, cleaning the table, and offering more bread, and goodies.
"Thanks." Remus took a tray of tarts. "I'll leave the tray in the common room."
"Very good sirs."
Severus pushed past the house elves towards the door, grabbing another loaf of bread from one of the trays, thanking the house elves as well, Remus close behind them as they exited the kitchens.
"How are you now?"
"I feel better." He nodded, tearing a piece of bread off of the fresh loaf. "Thanks."
"Anything." Remus nodded.
"Tell Lily I'm sorry." They climbed stairs into the dungeons.
"I will." Remus nodded.
"Thank you." Severus stopped in front of the wall that opened into the Slytherin Common room.
"I'll talk to you later." Remus nodded.
"Later."
Remus turned and began to walk the opposite direction towards the stairs, before he stopped and turned. "Severus?" He took a few stepped back towards him.
"Yes?" Severus asked.
"Even though Lily isn't going to forgive you for a while. I do." Remus pressed his lips to Severus's. "Honest."
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"Pst." Sirius whispered, the next day in History of Magic class. "Snape."
Severus raised his head slightly to look at the troublemaker, "What do you want?"
"Remus wants to meet you.Saturday.at the end of the tunnel under the Whomping Willow."
"What tunnel?" Severus asked.
"There is a large knot near the base of the tree. use the pushing charm to open the entrance. He'll be at the end."
Severus looked around the classroom. Potter was asleep on his notebook, drooling slightly, Lily was varnishing her nails, and Remus seemed to be the only one in class who was actually listening. He decided he wouldn't say anything to Remus.after all, if Remus wanted to surprise him with something, he wouldn't tell him.would he?
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Saturday night, Severus snuck from the castle silently, his death eater hood drawn over his head.
"Snape!" A hand grabbed his shoulder. "You can't go!"
"What do you know about it Potter?" Severus shoved him away.
"You can't go!" James yelled. "Stop being stupid, and listen to me for once! It's dangerous!"
"Sirius told me how to open the willow." Severus shoved him aside. "Get off of it."
"You don't understand!" James yelled. "You stupid bastard! He set you up! The willow is not the only thing. It's a full moon.Remus is not safe!"
"What are you talking about?" Severus asked.
"He didn't tell you?" James whispered. "All the years, and he never told you?"
"Told me what?"
"He's a werewolf, Severus."
"Am I supposed to believe that?"
"You can't go!"
"Do you honestly care?"
"Yes I care!" James yelled. "Stop being an idiot! You could die if you go!"
"Shove off." Severus pushed him back into one of the benches, and made his way down the stairs.
"You stupid idiot!" James limped after him. "Don't go!"
"Are you going to stop me?" Severus asked, making is way across the lawns, withdrawing is wand.
"Would you LISTEN to me?" James yelled, tripping on the wet grass, losing more area between them.
Severus did not reply as he got to the willow, picking up a stick from the ground, and throwing it at the knot that Sirius had told him about, and used his wand to steady it and push the knot.
"Severus Snape!" James yelled, "Get away from the tree!"
Severus pushed his hood back, and entered the entrance to the tunnel.
As he neared the end, James grasped his collar and whispered. "Don't go!"
"You can't stop me." He inched closer to the entrance. Suddenly he saw Remus withering on the floor in pain, hair sprouting over his body.he was changing. James had been right.
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"You must keep this secret." Dumbledore spoke softly to Severus that same night.
"Who the hell am I going to tell?"
"Promise me." Dumbledore whispered.
"I promise."
"Very good." Dumbledore crossed his arms. "Who told you where to go."
"Sirius Black."
"Why would Sirius put a fellow student in danger?"
"Because he hates me. He, Potter, and Remus have all hated me."
"Then why did you go."
Severus was silent. He didn't expect this old man to understand.
"Severus." Dumbledore tilted his face up with his thumb, searching the boys face. "Why?"
"I just.I wanted to prove James wrong." Severus shrugged. "Childish thing. I know."
"You are the most un childish student I have ever had at this school since I became headmaster." Dumbledore spoke, crossing his arms. "Now, don't lie to me. Why?"
Severus licked his lips, trying to think of a way to explain to the headmaster, who thought everything of his 'perfect' little James Potter, and all of friends that.maybe Remus Lupin and he himself.weren't very perfect. "Remus and I."
"Yes?"
"I'm not ready for this. I have to go." Severus stood.
"Sit down Severus." His voice boomed across the walls, and Severus sat back down quickly. It would have been quite humorous had it not been so serious. "Now." he leaned on the arms of the chair. "Why did you go down there."
Severus sucked in a breath, "I'm not ready yet!"
"Do I need to wait until morning, and ask Remus?"
"If you know so much why do you want to hear it from me?"
"Because.even the most powerful wizard is wrong sometimes." His voice went soft again, and moved back from the chair. "Now why did you go down that tunnel?"
A single tear rolled down Severus's cheek, "Professor." He took a deep breath. "I just.Sirius told me that Remus wanted to see me. He told me how to get into the tunnel. I didn't think anything of it.when.when James caught me after I got out of the castle, I didn't believe him.because."
"Because?"
"Remus.he." Severus got choked up. "He trusts me.and.we."
"You what?"
"Well." He didn't really see how it was necessary to tell his headmaster he was gay. "We're." He was feeling a lot of pressure now, and was finding it hard to breath.
"Severus, you can tell me anything." Dumbledore assured him. "You can trust me."
Severus scraped his fingertips through his hair, and began to rock back and forth in the chair.
"You're going to feel a lot better if you just tell me now, then have me tell you."
"Remus and I are.together." Severus whispered. "Sort of."
"Yes." Dumbledore nodded.
"And.when.Sirius told me he wanted to see me.I didn't think anything of it."
"Go to bed Severus. I'll tell your Professors not to expect you in class for Monday."
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"Where is Severus Snape?" Remus whispered to one of the Slytherin's that he often saw Severus with.
"He was in bed when we all left." The boy shrugged. "I don't think he slept well last night."
"Thank You." Remus nodded, and walked out of the Great Hall, towards the Dungeons.
"Remus!" James caught his sleeve.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Don't.try to talk to Snape."
"Why?" Remus asked. "What's wrong?"
"Sirius.tried to play a trick on him."
"What did he do?" Remus's voice was cold.
"He told Snape how to get into the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack." James explained.
"He what!" Remus yelled. "Is he stupid?"
"I got him out before you saw him, but.he saw you. He and Dumbledore had a long talk last night."
"I have to go talk to him."
"Remus.Let him sort it out." James tried to comfort him.
"Fine, them I'm going to go beat the hell out of Sirius." Remus turned, and stormed back into the Great Hall, finding Sirius in his usual seat one side of Lily.
"Hey Remus." Sirius turned, and was smacked back, and could have sworn he heard his neck snap. "What the hell!"
"You stupid idiot! What did you think you were doing?"
"What are you talking about?" Sirius rubbed his jaw.
"You stupid-!" Remus pulled from the bench and hit him again.
"Boys!" Dumbledore pulled them apart, after Sirius had gotten a bloody nose. "What is this all about?"
Remus gained a little more control, and straightened, "Petty argument."
"I can see that." Dumbledore crossed his arms. "I suggest you go make a visit to the Hospital wing. You go find somewhere to sit." He pushed the two boys in opposite directions.
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"Severus?" Remus pushed open the door to the Slytherin, 7th Year boys Dormitory.
"What are you doing in here?" The voice came from a bed at the back of the room.
"Are you okay?" He asked, he knelt outside of the bed from which the voice came from.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus pushed the curtain open.
Remus took a deep breath, "I don't know. The only people who know are James, Sirius, Lily, and the Professors.and now you." He stood, and sat on the edge of the bed. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how you would take it."
"You've understood everything I've ever told you since we started talking in our third year here.why would I understand this? Do you know horrible it was having to watch you change like that? I hate to think about what would have happened if."
"James hadn't saved you?"
"Yea." He nodded.
Remus sighed, "I'm sorry. I just.I don't tell people about me, because I don't want their pity. I didn't tell you.because.every relationship has their secrets."
Severus sat up, brushing a lock of Remus's hair off of his face, "Can I share a secret with you, Remus?"
"Of course." Remus nodded.
"I think I love you."
Severus walked hurriedly across the Hogwarts lawns. The pain in his arm was searing, and if he didn't get to the cemetery quickly, he could be sure to be into more then what the Dark Mark on his arm was doing to him.
"Damn it!" He sighed. There was a large padlock on the door. "Damn it to hell!" He slammed his hand against the padlock, before taking out his wand, "Alahomora!"
The lock clicked, and fell open, and Severus quickly unchained, and opened the gate, apperating quickly to the large cemetery that Lord Voldemort held his meetings of his followers.
"You're late." He noted Severus as he walked into the circle, pulling his hood over his head.
"I apologize my Lord. The gate at Hogwarts was locked."
"Any new news?"
"No Master." Severus shook his hooded head. "I have not spoken with Dumbledore personally for a long time."
"What about Potter? His plans?"
"He's becoming an auror." Severus told him, the pain in his arm finally drifting away. "I know that Dumbledore sent in his papers last week."
"Very good." Lord Voldemort's smile was a cruel one. "That will be all. You may return to your.school."
Severus nodded, and backed out of the circle, running down the hill to apperate back outside of the gates.
Luckily no one had noticed the open gate, and he was able to sneak back inside, and into the castle. He was supposed to have met Lily in the unused charms room half an hour ago. Of course, Lily had now gotten used to him being late, his excuse being he got caught up in his homework She didn't know he was secretly a death eater.
"It's about time!" Lily got up from the desk on which she sat. "I was getting worried."
"Sorry." Severus sighed, pushing his hood down, hoping she wouldn't notice it. "Lucius was.talking about something, and wouldn't shut up about it."
"Severus.what are you really doing? I know you aren't telling me the truth!" Lily crossed her arms. "I don't like being lied to."
Severus took a deep breath, "Are we going to work on our Care of Magical Creatures, or no?"
"No, we're not."
"Then I won't waste my time with you." Severus turned, his cloak billowing behind him.
"Severus." Lily whispered.
"What Lily?" He stopped in the doorway, not turning around.
"You aren't.one of them, are you?" Lily asked. Death Eaters had killed her parents three months ago.
Severus sucked in a breath, "No."
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Severus sat in Charms class the next day, when a searing pain hit his arm, and he almost couldn't stifle the shriek of pain in his throat. He checked to make sure no one was looking, before pushing up his sleeve. The mark had turned from it's normal black to a searing red. Emergency.
"Professor?" He raised his hand, interrupting Professor Flitwick, "Can I go to the bathroom?"
"Can it wait, Mr. Snape?"
"No, I really have to go." Severus hoped the urgency in his voice made it sound like he really did.
"Alright, go ahead."
Severus got up quickly from his bench, and raced down the hallway, catching the Professor's, "The bathroom is the other direction, Mr. Snape!" but ignoring it.
He pushed the heavy doors open quickly, and ran across the lawn, trying to ignore the pain in his arm, wishing it wasn't almost a quarter of a mile to the Hogwarts gate, but finally reaching it. The stupid padlock was still there.
"Alahomora!" He hissed, trying to catch his breath, his arm now feeling like it was about to burn right off.
"I don't think so, Mr. Snape." Dumbledore stood behind him.
"Pro.professor." Severus slammed up against the gate.
"Shouldn't you be in class?"
Finally the pain began to go away in his arm. Maybe the Lord had given up on him. He knew he would be as good as dead the next time. "I.I."
"Mr. Snape, I am very, very disappointed in you."
"Professor, you don't understand."
"I understand perfectly." Professor Dumbledore turned away, and began to walk back up the sloping hill. "Follow me, Mr. Snape."
Snape clutched his arm, as the pain returned. His master was trying again, but followed Professor Dumbledore.
A few minutes, and two strangled cries later, Severus sat in Professor Dumbledore's office, his hand clenched around his arm, tears streaking down his face.
"Severus." Dumbledore shook his head sadly, taking the boys arm, sliding up the sleeve.
Severus sucked in his breath, as Dumbledore touched the mark, turning it to a neutral blue color, melting the pain slowly away. "I'm sorry Professor."
"How long?" Professor Dumbledore's voice was hard, and unforgiving.
"Two years, next month." Severus clutched his arm back to his chest.
"I suppose you're another student spy for Voldemort?"
Severus pursed his lips, and nodded, "But I swear, I haven't told him anything."
Dumbledore's voice softened, "I know Severus."
"I just.It's so hard." Severus didn't bother to hide his tears, as they streaked down his cheeks. "Lucius got me into it. Last summer. I didn't want to...he dragged me to the meeting, and."
"I know Severus."
"No you don't!" Severus shouted. "You have no idea what it's like to be branded like this!" His bottom lip trembled. "I lost my father to this person, not to mention my siblings, and yet with those people in black, it's the only place I fell loved, and like I belong!"
Dumbledore's kind eyes fell on the boy in front of him, and he felt his heart reaching out to him, but he held himself back, "I can't help you Severus. You got yourself into this mess.you have to get yourself out."
"But I want don't want out!" Severus yelled, and closed his eyes against the old professor in front of him. "I.I just." He sighed. "I don't know what I want anymore."
"I am not going to expel you, because you only have three weeks of school left. But I want you to tell your.lord, or whatever you call him that you will not be attending any meetings for the next three weeks."
"Yes Professor." Severus whispered. "I'll.I'll tell him right away."
"No. You tell him after dinner. You have classes to go to."
Severus turned, and walked quickly out of the office.
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"I'm sorry Master, I didn't know that the lock-" Severus screamed, as the craticus curse pinned him against the wall, and his arms began to bend a way.that.well, your arms are not supposed to bend.
"I know what you didn't know." Voldemort hissed, as he fell to the floor. "You let yourself get caught, and now Dumbledore knows."
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Severus yelled, and a different spell pulled him up from the floor, and he found himself short for breath, and Voldemort hadn't even touched his wand.
"Of course not." Lord Voldemort's voice was cold. "And it will NOT happen again!"
"He.he said I couldn't come here again until school was over. I don't know what he'll do to me."
"I know what he'll do to you."
"Master.please." Severus's hands when to his throat, and he tried to pry whatever it was that was suffocating him off, but of course there was nothing there.
"You have three weeks Severus. If you don't get me useful information, I will, mark my words, I will kill you. You can be easily replaced."
Severus nodded, and the weight was lifted from his throat. "Yes Master."
__
"Severus?" Lily whispered, leaning into the dark empty room where Severus sat crying, and trying to rid himself of all his pain before he returned to the common room.
"Go away Lily." Severus sucked in a breath.
"Severus, what happened?" Lily turned on a light.
"Nothing, stay out of it."
"Severus, you're bleeding all over." Lily knelt next to him.
"Stop it!" He pushed her hands off of his head, as she looked at the gash on the back of his head. "Just.go away."
"Severus, let me help you!" Lily begged.
"Leave me alone Lily!"
"Who did this, Severus?"
"Who the hell do you think?" Severus hissed. "Leave me alone!"
Lily sat back on her knees, "You lied to me."
"Yes all right! I've been lying to you for two years!" Severus yelled. "Is that what you want to hear!"
Lily was quiet for a moment, before speaking silent tears streaming down her face, "I hate you."
"Oh yes, that that is bright! I've been trying to get you to hate me seven years now! If only I knew."
"You are such an ass!" She slapped him, and then got up from the floor. "I hope you bleed to death."
"I would only be so lucky." Severus yelled after her, and then after she was out of hearing distance, he put his head to the floor, and wept.
__
"Severus?" Remus knelt next to him in the classroom. "Severus?" He shook him.
Severus groaned, his whole body aching, partly from the beating, the other part from sleeping on the stone floor.
"Are you all right?" Remus whispered.
"No." Severus shook his head. "I hurt.to much." He grunted.
"It's alright." Remus brushed his hair off of his forehead. "I healed the cut on your head, but I'm afraid only Madam Pomfrey can do anything about your pain."
"I can't move Remus." Severus shook his head.
"Okay." Remus nodded, pulling Severus's head into his lap. "You'll be okay. I'll help you."
"Did Lily tell you everything?"
"Yea." Remus nodded, stroking the sweat off of Severus's forehead. "She's.mad."
"I know." Severus nodded, and then groaned in pain.
"She told me she slapped you. Can you sit up now?"
"I can try." Severus tried to push himself up, and was able to lean up against the wall. "Hold on a minute."
"Take all the time you need." Remus leaned on the space of wall next to him. "I was going to try to.freeze the gashes, but I thought I might stop the blood flow, and your heart would stop."
"Death is better then this." Severus couldn't stop the laugh, followed by hacking up a little bit of blood onto the floor. After he was done, Remus pulled him back against the hall, and leaned the other boys against his shoulder.
"Don't talk anymore."
"This is so disgusting." He sighed. "I just want to take a very long, very hot shower."
"I don't think you could hold yourself up that long." Remus smiled.
"True, but I could always just sit on the floor."
"True." Remus whispered, pushing a lock of the other boy's hair behind his ear. "Or, if you're really serious, I could.help you out."
"I'll wait until morning." Severus whispered, closing his eyes against Remus's shoulder. "I just want to go to sleep."
"I don't think you should do that." Remus stood, "C'mon. I'll help you to the kitchens."
"What am I going to get in the kitchens?"
"Food for one. And I know for a fact they keep potions down there."
"No, just take me to the potions dungeon." Severus shook his head.
"Severus, do you want me to take you to the first years showers, and put you under one?"
"All right.All right." He took Remus's hand, and stood slowly, putting his head against the cold stone for a moment. "All right. I think I can walk."
"Put your arm around me."
"No, I can walk."
"Put your arm around me." Remus insisted, one of his arms going around Severus's small waist.
"Yes your majesty." Severus obliged, and put his arm around Remus's neck.
"Now just take it slow."
Somehow, the two managed to get to the large portrait of the fruit bowl, and Remus raised one hand to tickle the pear, before the picture vanished, and he and Severus made their way into the busy kitchen.
"Can I get a bowl of stew, and one of your healing potions please?" Remus requested of one of the house elves.
"Yes sirs!" The house elf took the order kindly, and went about his business, as Remus helped Severus lower himself into a chair.
"Are you feeling any better?" Remus asked, taking the bowl of stew from the elf, and a package of crackers, followed by a loaf of bread, not to mention three healing potions.
"Not really." Severus shook his head.
"Eat this." Remus broke some of the crackers into the stew, and mixed it up.
"Are you going to feed it to me too?" Severus asked, taking the spoon from him, and eating some.
"Here." Remus tore off a piece of the bread, and handed it to him.
Severus took it, "I feel like your fattening me up for spring slaughter or something."
"Maybe I will slaughter you after you're better."
"Oh yes, I'll look forward to it."
"Drink this." Remus pushed the first bottle of potion at him.
"Yes Mr. Lupin." Severus obliged him again, and took the potion bottle, sniffed it, and shrunk away. "That is gross."
"Drink it, Severus."
Taking a deep breath, he downed the bottle. "That is so.disgusting."
"I know it's gross, but ignore it, and finish your food. Then I'll walk you back to your common room."
"You can't do that."
Remus raised an eyebrow.
"You don't know where it is."
"I know where everything is. I'm a very good stalker when I want to be."
"You've stalked me?"
"Just around the castle." Remus smiled.
"I suppose you know the password too."
"Ginger Root."
"We changed it last week." Severus smiled, finishing the last spoonful of the stew.
"Do you want more?"
"No." Severus shook his head. "I'll take that bread though."
"Ready to go?" Remus asked, handing him the rest of the bread.
"Yea." Severus nodded.
As they stood, a swarm of house elves enwrapped them, cleaning the table, and offering more bread, and goodies.
"Thanks." Remus took a tray of tarts. "I'll leave the tray in the common room."
"Very good sirs."
Severus pushed past the house elves towards the door, grabbing another loaf of bread from one of the trays, thanking the house elves as well, Remus close behind them as they exited the kitchens.
"How are you now?"
"I feel better." He nodded, tearing a piece of bread off of the fresh loaf. "Thanks."
"Anything." Remus nodded.
"Tell Lily I'm sorry." They climbed stairs into the dungeons.
"I will." Remus nodded.
"Thank you." Severus stopped in front of the wall that opened into the Slytherin Common room.
"I'll talk to you later." Remus nodded.
"Later."
Remus turned and began to walk the opposite direction towards the stairs, before he stopped and turned. "Severus?" He took a few stepped back towards him.
"Yes?" Severus asked.
"Even though Lily isn't going to forgive you for a while. I do." Remus pressed his lips to Severus's. "Honest."
__
"Pst." Sirius whispered, the next day in History of Magic class. "Snape."
Severus raised his head slightly to look at the troublemaker, "What do you want?"
"Remus wants to meet you.Saturday.at the end of the tunnel under the Whomping Willow."
"What tunnel?" Severus asked.
"There is a large knot near the base of the tree. use the pushing charm to open the entrance. He'll be at the end."
Severus looked around the classroom. Potter was asleep on his notebook, drooling slightly, Lily was varnishing her nails, and Remus seemed to be the only one in class who was actually listening. He decided he wouldn't say anything to Remus.after all, if Remus wanted to surprise him with something, he wouldn't tell him.would he?
__
Saturday night, Severus snuck from the castle silently, his death eater hood drawn over his head.
"Snape!" A hand grabbed his shoulder. "You can't go!"
"What do you know about it Potter?" Severus shoved him away.
"You can't go!" James yelled. "Stop being stupid, and listen to me for once! It's dangerous!"
"Sirius told me how to open the willow." Severus shoved him aside. "Get off of it."
"You don't understand!" James yelled. "You stupid bastard! He set you up! The willow is not the only thing. It's a full moon.Remus is not safe!"
"What are you talking about?" Severus asked.
"He didn't tell you?" James whispered. "All the years, and he never told you?"
"Told me what?"
"He's a werewolf, Severus."
"Am I supposed to believe that?"
"You can't go!"
"Do you honestly care?"
"Yes I care!" James yelled. "Stop being an idiot! You could die if you go!"
"Shove off." Severus pushed him back into one of the benches, and made his way down the stairs.
"You stupid idiot!" James limped after him. "Don't go!"
"Are you going to stop me?" Severus asked, making is way across the lawns, withdrawing is wand.
"Would you LISTEN to me?" James yelled, tripping on the wet grass, losing more area between them.
Severus did not reply as he got to the willow, picking up a stick from the ground, and throwing it at the knot that Sirius had told him about, and used his wand to steady it and push the knot.
"Severus Snape!" James yelled, "Get away from the tree!"
Severus pushed his hood back, and entered the entrance to the tunnel.
As he neared the end, James grasped his collar and whispered. "Don't go!"
"You can't stop me." He inched closer to the entrance. Suddenly he saw Remus withering on the floor in pain, hair sprouting over his body.he was changing. James had been right.
__
"You must keep this secret." Dumbledore spoke softly to Severus that same night.
"Who the hell am I going to tell?"
"Promise me." Dumbledore whispered.
"I promise."
"Very good." Dumbledore crossed his arms. "Who told you where to go."
"Sirius Black."
"Why would Sirius put a fellow student in danger?"
"Because he hates me. He, Potter, and Remus have all hated me."
"Then why did you go."
Severus was silent. He didn't expect this old man to understand.
"Severus." Dumbledore tilted his face up with his thumb, searching the boys face. "Why?"
"I just.I wanted to prove James wrong." Severus shrugged. "Childish thing. I know."
"You are the most un childish student I have ever had at this school since I became headmaster." Dumbledore spoke, crossing his arms. "Now, don't lie to me. Why?"
Severus licked his lips, trying to think of a way to explain to the headmaster, who thought everything of his 'perfect' little James Potter, and all of friends that.maybe Remus Lupin and he himself.weren't very perfect. "Remus and I."
"Yes?"
"I'm not ready for this. I have to go." Severus stood.
"Sit down Severus." His voice boomed across the walls, and Severus sat back down quickly. It would have been quite humorous had it not been so serious. "Now." he leaned on the arms of the chair. "Why did you go down there."
Severus sucked in a breath, "I'm not ready yet!"
"Do I need to wait until morning, and ask Remus?"
"If you know so much why do you want to hear it from me?"
"Because.even the most powerful wizard is wrong sometimes." His voice went soft again, and moved back from the chair. "Now why did you go down that tunnel?"
A single tear rolled down Severus's cheek, "Professor." He took a deep breath. "I just.Sirius told me that Remus wanted to see me. He told me how to get into the tunnel. I didn't think anything of it.when.when James caught me after I got out of the castle, I didn't believe him.because."
"Because?"
"Remus.he." Severus got choked up. "He trusts me.and.we."
"You what?"
"Well." He didn't really see how it was necessary to tell his headmaster he was gay. "We're." He was feeling a lot of pressure now, and was finding it hard to breath.
"Severus, you can tell me anything." Dumbledore assured him. "You can trust me."
Severus scraped his fingertips through his hair, and began to rock back and forth in the chair.
"You're going to feel a lot better if you just tell me now, then have me tell you."
"Remus and I are.together." Severus whispered. "Sort of."
"Yes." Dumbledore nodded.
"And.when.Sirius told me he wanted to see me.I didn't think anything of it."
"Go to bed Severus. I'll tell your Professors not to expect you in class for Monday."
__
"Where is Severus Snape?" Remus whispered to one of the Slytherin's that he often saw Severus with.
"He was in bed when we all left." The boy shrugged. "I don't think he slept well last night."
"Thank You." Remus nodded, and walked out of the Great Hall, towards the Dungeons.
"Remus!" James caught his sleeve.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Don't.try to talk to Snape."
"Why?" Remus asked. "What's wrong?"
"Sirius.tried to play a trick on him."
"What did he do?" Remus's voice was cold.
"He told Snape how to get into the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack." James explained.
"He what!" Remus yelled. "Is he stupid?"
"I got him out before you saw him, but.he saw you. He and Dumbledore had a long talk last night."
"I have to go talk to him."
"Remus.Let him sort it out." James tried to comfort him.
"Fine, them I'm going to go beat the hell out of Sirius." Remus turned, and stormed back into the Great Hall, finding Sirius in his usual seat one side of Lily.
"Hey Remus." Sirius turned, and was smacked back, and could have sworn he heard his neck snap. "What the hell!"
"You stupid idiot! What did you think you were doing?"
"What are you talking about?" Sirius rubbed his jaw.
"You stupid-!" Remus pulled from the bench and hit him again.
"Boys!" Dumbledore pulled them apart, after Sirius had gotten a bloody nose. "What is this all about?"
Remus gained a little more control, and straightened, "Petty argument."
"I can see that." Dumbledore crossed his arms. "I suggest you go make a visit to the Hospital wing. You go find somewhere to sit." He pushed the two boys in opposite directions.
__
"Severus?" Remus pushed open the door to the Slytherin, 7th Year boys Dormitory.
"What are you doing in here?" The voice came from a bed at the back of the room.
"Are you okay?" He asked, he knelt outside of the bed from which the voice came from.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus pushed the curtain open.
Remus took a deep breath, "I don't know. The only people who know are James, Sirius, Lily, and the Professors.and now you." He stood, and sat on the edge of the bed. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how you would take it."
"You've understood everything I've ever told you since we started talking in our third year here.why would I understand this? Do you know horrible it was having to watch you change like that? I hate to think about what would have happened if."
"James hadn't saved you?"
"Yea." He nodded.
Remus sighed, "I'm sorry. I just.I don't tell people about me, because I don't want their pity. I didn't tell you.because.every relationship has their secrets."
Severus sat up, brushing a lock of Remus's hair off of his face, "Can I share a secret with you, Remus?"
"Of course." Remus nodded.
"I think I love you."