Author: miku
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic.
Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.
WAAAA!!!! Thank for the reviews! You're making me cry!!! ^^;
Oh well… the paring again… ehehehe… SenRu or HanaRu… let's see until the very end! ^^;;
Part Fifteen
What Am I
Sakuragi was still absent and the team was getting worried already. It had been four days. The gym was getting boring and cheerless… there's no redhead monkey to declare his being tensai.
Rukawa was playing his worst. He had missed the ball passed on him and Ryota managed to steal from him every now and then. He had not scored anything today and that made the team worried more.
No one knew what was happening, of course, except for Yohei who was watching the team practice alone without his gang in tow. Haruko was there too, of course, and Ichiro; their face showed very concerned expression.
Rukawa liked to bang his head to the wall knowing that he had been out of himself lately. SO out of himself. Who would not be anyway after finding out that Sakuragi was falling for him and Sendoh just kissed him…
Damn! He mentally cursed.
He was not like this before. He never cared for anything before… just basketball and basketball alone… But now…
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Ayako whistled for a break. Ryota was not the cheerful one anymore. The problem was getting too much for him. It's hard to talk to Rukawa and get an honest response. Another, Sakuragi was still not around and he knew nothing of what's going on with him. Being the team captain now was sure a load of difficulties.
"Rukawa-sempai," Ichiro called. He went to Rukawa who was sitting at the bench, eyes emptier than the usual (if that was possible). "Rukawa-sempai, what's wrong?"
Ichiro was expecting a snort or a shrug or a mind-your-own-business-like response. Instead, Rukawa shook his head; eyes narrowed slightly, kind of sad, and uttered a silent and soft "nothing" not with his usual cold and firm tone.
"Are there any problems?" he decided to find out; after all, Rukawa seemed kinder today.
Rukawa just shook his head again. What could you say if I tell you that I'm currently problematic of two men who just… shit…!
"Rukawa-sempai…"
"It's nothing, Ichiro," he answered firmly, stopping any conversation anymore.
"Aa…" the younger boy agreed softly, nodded, and returned to Ayako who was watching the two of them the whole time.
Yohei was watching Rukawa too thinking if Sakuragi's confession was the one bugging him right now.
He dropped his duffel bag at the only bench there and pulled out his basketball. He was in the covered court where he usual spent his afternoon with Sendoh and had their one-on-ones.
But today, as he expected, the spiky-head ace of Ryonan was not there. Usually, Sendoh was the one waiting for him. But what should he expect anyway? After what happened?
It's a shame though… to lose the only challenging opponent he had… because of one stupid kiss.
Shit…
He dribbled the ball and shoot. Perfect three-point.
If only he could just forget what happened and be the usual Rukawa Kaede knew, especially during practice, then he would not have to face his teammates worried expressions. He would not have to answer them every time they would ask "what's your problem", "is anything bothering you", what's wrong", "you're not yourself today"… and so on…
He got the ball and dribbled it harsher this time.
Why of all people should he experience this? He's a guy for pete's sake! How could a guy, rather, two guys fall for him?!
Damn! He cursed inwardly and aimed for another shot.
…. And most all you might hate me for it but it just kept hurting me. It just kept hurting me every time I would try to deny it and see you with that bastard Sendoh.
Sakuragi…
Air ball.
But he did not hear the ball drop to the floor and bounce. Instead, he heard a hand caught it easily. He looked below the ring and saw a slightly smiling spiky-head boy.
Sendoh…
"You're earlier than me…" Sendoh uttered calmly and dribbled the ball once. "First to get ten points?"
Rukawa did not expect him to be here. Yet he was here and challenging him for another one-on-one. Like nothing happened… like nothing changed… and Rukawa secretly appreciated it.
Then they started the game and it was, as always, what would be expected from the two aces of rival teams.
… Skip game details… heheheheh…. …
They were lying on the court exhausted, Sendoh was still smiling like always and Rukawa still wore the same blank expression he had except that he was more peaceful this time.
The sun was already setting and it created a very wonderful view with the sky glowing orange and the cloud linings turning gold.
If only things could stay this way always… the two thought.
"I thought you're not coming today…" Rukawa suddenly admitted. He felt the need to talk things out… to end all of this… yet words were hard to find.
"I thought I'm not coming too," Sendoh replied, "But then I realized one thing… I don't want to be a coward, Kaede…"
Rukawa knew deep inside what Sendoh was talking about but he tried to remain oblivious.
"It's such a shame to lose one worthy opponent just because…" Rukawa did not like to continue. He did not want to remember what happened… but he needed to… or else he would not be able to clear things…
"Just that, Kaede?"
Rukawa did not respond. He did not know what Sendoh was referring to.
"You just don't want to lose a challenging one-on-one partner, that's all?" Sendoh asked a bit wistful.
"Akira…"
Sendoh stood up and dusted dirt from his sweaty shirt and pants. Rukawa stood up as well, slower though.
"I promise you won't then," Sendoh continued, his eyes were glistening with unshed tear. Rukawa suddenly hated himself. "I'm always here…"
"Akira…" how much Rukawa wanted to tell Sendoh that it was not "just" that. He did not want to lose Sendoh. He did not want to lose the closeness they managed to share. He did not want to lose anything just because of their stupidity.
"But… but is that all you think of me, Kaede? An opponent? A challenger and nothing more?" Sendoh continued asking, his voice trembled a little. Rukawa hated himself more.
Sendoh was his friend already, not just an opponent and a challenger. He meant more to him. Yet he could not tell the older boy that. He did not know how and that's his problem – showing and saying what he really wanted. He's always cold…
How much he wanted to pull Sendoh and embrace him to comfort him like the way he comforted Sakuragi. But he could not. He could not find the strength to. And here was Sendoh in front of him, looking as sad as ever, and yet he could not do anything. Stupid image of his…
"Then I should be glad you treat me as someone…" then Sendoh turned his back to him and picked his duffel bag, hung it to his right shoulder, and turned his head to see Rukawa once more. "Ja now, na, Kaede?" he bid and walked his way out.
Rukawa wanted to call him and say everything he wanted to say. Yet he just stood in the middle of the court, frozen.
Why could he not show that he cared? Especially to someone like Sendoh who had been so good to him…
Sendoh told him that they would still play, right? But it seemed not right. It seemed so sad…
And Sendoh's eyes… they were glistening with unshed tear… his smiles were all sad… it seemed like he would fall and break out any time. And yet… Rukawa could not do anything… He himself wanted to cry. Everything seemed so sad but he did not know why. Maybe next time he would see Sendoh, he'll try his best to show his concern… maybe… just maybe…
He covered his face with one palm, shoulders shaking slightly… Rain began to fall…
To be continued…
Miku: YAIY! I never meant this chapter to be sad… yet… Sendoh should be sad… tsk tsk tsk… don't worry… everybody would be… umm… happy… in the end…?
Oh, and Sendoh's not mad… he's just… lonely in this part… *sigh*